CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 4/22

A nice return to form after the failed experiment of Simon's Quest and the mess that was Castlevania: The Adventure. It feels like a natural progression of the first game. Addition of multiple playable characters is cool even if I don't use Grant or Alucard and alternate paths is a nice mechanic that keeps the game fresh.

The game is so fucking hard though. Holy shit. It's a brutal step up from the already extremely punishing original- it's downright cruel at multiple points. This makes it all the more bizarre that the final Dracula fight is such a pushover despite having 3 phases (all of which are easy).

Gun to my head, I probably prefer the original over this but this is still good.

Next- Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge
Previous- Castlevania: The Adventure

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 5/22

An incredible improvement over its shitty predecessor, but still not great.

The plot is really interesting- Dracula possesses Soleil Belmont and his recently-retired father, Christopher Belmont, has to go kick the shit out of his son to save him- but the Game Boy just isn't the medium for great storytelling, unfortunately.

Still, you can see the Castlevania series trying non-linearity again with the ability to try the four main levels in any order before Dracula's Castle. It's interesting that they keep experimenting before fully breaking free of it with Symphony.

Christopher must have been taking his pills before the events of the game because he feels much better to control than his previous outing. The level design feels less dickish than Adventure as well and experiments with a few fun gimmicks, even if the fights with Soleil and Dracula are both downright evil. It's good that they were able to prove that Castlevania was able to work on the Game Boy with this one, because Christopher's first outing sucked and Legends isn't much better.

Next- Super Castlevania IV
Previous- Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 6/22

The original was better.

Super Castlevania IV is technically very impressive- the soundtrack is still great, the graphics fit beautifully into that classic horror movie feel the first few Castlevania games had before they settled into the gothic horror aesthetic, and the implementation of the SHVC chip allows for a few displays of computing power (the golem that shrinks upon being hit, the bat made of solid gold and the rotating room come to mind).

Still, although it has its strengths, SC4 feels kinda toothless in comparison to the original and Dracula's Curse. The game is much easier than the original trilogy, ranging from easier level design, much easier bosses and above all the addition of swinging the whip in eight directions, which removes a lot of the nuance in combat that the original had. Subweapons were originally meant to cover the blind spots in Simon's whip, but being able to hit in any direction makes combat more mindless than I would like.

Despite my complaints, the game is still good. Fighting Dracula only to have his battle theme fade and Simon's theme kick in when the second phase begins is one of my favourite moments in the series, and watching him disintegrate into a pile of burning bats in the sunlight is very fucking cool.

Next- Castlevania: Rondo of Blood
Previous- Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 7/22

I would argue Rondo of Blood is the beginning of the golden age of Konami's big franchises. Start it here and end it at about 2005 and you have a roughly decade-long streak of back-to-back masterpieces (with a few misses, granted) that only a few studios have matched since (Off the top of my head, the only runs that can match it in both length and quality since are FromSoft and Naughty Dog, though I would be happy to be wrong).

Rondo of Blood is the best Classicvania. Everything just clicks with it. I really enjoy that after SC4's push into being much easier, Rondo kicks it back to being punishing but fair. Richter can swing his whip up, but only at one angle that means he can get some aerial enemies, but has to position himself with more care than Simon had to. The level design is similarly tough without being cruel, and I love the alternate stages mechanic.

The series continues to experiment with player choice and nonlinearity. Each level has an alternate path you have to work to get to, and like Dracula's Curse there's a separate playable character. Maria Renard is broken and makes the game comically easy, but she's also a 12-year old girl who fights by summoning animals (which is really funny) and you have to unlock her so I'm alright with it. Her ending cutscene is also really funny and displays that the devs knew exactly what they were doing by adding a broken character that's a little girl. It's great.

The presentation is also so good. I love the covers of older tracks and Richter's theme is maybe my favourite track in the series. The visuals are gorgeous thanks to being on a stronger console than its contemporaries on other platforms, most obvious with the addition of animated cutscenes that lend Rondo a shonen anime feel that keeps it distinct from its classic monster movie-inspired 2D bretheren and its gothic pretty boy-filled successors.

God, I love Rondo of Blood. It's a shame that it took so long for it to hit Western shelves because I really do think it's the peak of the series' sidescrolling platforming era.

Next- Castlevania: Bloodlines
Previous- Super Castlevania IV

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 8/22

Sega does what Nintendon't, I guess.

This is the only Classicvania that I think is comparable in quality to Rondo. Bloodlines shifts its emphasis from platforming to action, fitting for the Mega Drive's marketing as the more hardcore and bloody system compared to the SNES' family friendly spin.

Bloodlines is, fittingly enough, bloody. Gameplay that's more focused on killing enemies in corridors than platforming naturally does that, I guess. John Morris isn't a barbarian clad in fur like previous wielders of the Vampire Killer, but a ripped dude in a leather jacket, matching the game's edgy 90's vibe. Enemies dissolve into puddles of gore when you hit them enough times. Bosses go down in fiery wrecks as always. Dracula changes throughout the fight- from a vampire to a dark magician to a bloody red hellspawn that you beat the flesh off of until he's a skeleton. At this point Castlevania has shed its skin of being a throwback to cheesy monster movies of old, and until Symphony sets the gold standard for what's to come each game has a different aesthetic to the original games on NES.

The music fucking bangs. Mega Drive games have this really distinct sound to them and Bloodlines' covers of older tracks with the Sega sound chip sound so good that it brings a smile to my face every time.

My main complaint with Bloodlines is content. The game feels shorter than both SC4 and Rondo, its contemporaries, and doesn't feature branching paths of any sort. The only replayability Bloodlines brings is its second playable character, Eric Lecarde, who doesn't control nearly as well as his whip-wielding companion.

Still, Bloodlines is great. Easily a top 2 Classicvania and still one of the best games in the series.

Next- Castlevania: Dracula X
Previous- Castlevania- Rondo of Blood

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 9/22

Rondo of Blood but worse in literally every aspect.

Looks worse, sounds worse, plays much worse. Less player choice and the final Dracula fight is like pouring Pop Rocks down my pisshole. It's such a shame that this is how Western audiences experienced Richter's story because it fucking blows. I don't think it's as bad as The Adventure or even Simon's Quest but it made me much angrier than either of them could have ever done with its bullshit final boss fight.

Next- Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Previous- Castlevania: Bloodlines

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 10/22

The Ocarina of Time of Castlevania.

There's not a lot to say about Symphony of the Night that hasn't already been said. The only Metroidvania I've ever played that can claim to be as good as Hollow Knight. It radically changed the course of the series' gameplay from tough-as-nails 2D sidescroller to a more forgiving exploration-focused platformer, changed the series' art direction from shlocky monster movie throwback to gothic beauty and the main character's designs from "BUFF FUCKING MEN WITH BIG FUCKING MUSCLES WITH BIG FUCKING WHIPS" to "pretty boys :3", is the second game in the series to have voice acting and is one of the most quotable games of all time because of it and I would argue- very uncontroversially- that it's the best game on the PS1.

RPG levelling is something I'm usually not a fan of but the only thing smoother than Symphony's progression system is Alucard's silky voice. Exploring every square inch of Dracula's castle, bit-by-bit getting stronger and finding better equpiment until your fight with Richter Belmont is so satisfying- effortlessly butchering enemies that used to take you serious effort to put down.

And then the twist comes. You're only halfway done.

The inverted castle is a great addition for a few reasons- it's a great twist that keeps the story intriguing, it can only be accessed by finding well-hidden items which rewards the player for thorough investigation and most importantly it provides a large endgame. Metroidvanias as a whole have this slight issue where you get your last few upgrades and then it's time to wrap it up, but Symphony gives you ample time to play around with all of the tools in Alucard's kit before closing the curtains.

There's just so much in Symphony of the Night. It feels like such a complete game that it puts most other Metroidvanias to shame, and I think it stands as the peak of the genre for 20 long years before Hollow Knight comes in.

Also, Alucard is just ridiculously hot.

Next- Castlevania (1999)
Previous- Castlevania: Dracula X

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 11/22

dog weiner

The fact that this came out after Symphony of the Night is jaw-dropping. It kinda sucks.

Next- Castlevania: Circle of the Moon
Previous- Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 12/22

Bit of a letdown after Symphony, but it's only slightly less cheeks than 64.

Nathan walks really slowly and jumps surprisingly high, which gives a really weird feeling. The Belmonts all strutted everywhere but they didn't jump up like Nathan does. Alucard waks faster and jumps higher. Nathan walks like a Belmont but jumps like Alucard, which leads to a disorienting movement system, and double-tapping to run in a map like CotM's is more than a little annoying.

The card system is in theory very fun- mixing and matching an impressive amount of base effects with an equal amount of elemental alterations is actually a really cool system that I'd like to see in a later game, but the problem is that you have to grind out pretty badly for each card- and there are 24. Rough.

As well as this, the music fumbles for the first time in a while in Castlevania and the bosses aren't as memorable as earlier games. The final fight with Dracula is terrible and is one of the worst bosses in the series, rivalled by only Dracula X's final fight.

Circle of the Moon is a prime candidate for a remake, in my opinion. There are a lot of cool ideas that went to waste, and I would love to see a return to Nathan and Hugh's story in future.

Next- Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance
Previous- Castlevania (1999)

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 13/22

Back to form after two big misses. Good to see IGA knows what's up.

Let's start with my big complaint with the game- the map is really dickish. There are two castles, and hopping between the two is really awkward because of how few warp points there are and how scattered they are from each other.

That's a big issue for a Metroidvania, but it's also my only real issue with the game. Juste controls a lot better than the protagonists of the last two games, and the magic system not only differentiates Harmony from the games before it, but works as a better version of Circle of the Moon's card system. Finding spellbooks hidden throughout the castles and having them influence your variety of subweapons is much more satisfying than grinding out for years for one or two measly cards. Juste just feels really smooth to control in every way- as floaty and graceful as Alucard before him.

As well as that, the plot is surprisingly pretty good. The underlying mystery of why your friend Maxim is acting like a dick gets solved roughly halfway into the game, and like Symphony the way to save him and get the true ending relies on you exploring the map. The true ending of Harmony isn't all rosy either- Maxim and Juste never properly come to terms over the events of the game and there's a slight unease at the end that I'm really fond of.

Boss fights in Harmony are alright, nothing special- if anything the game suffers from Symphony's problem of being too easy. Once you find a strong combination of spellbook + subweapon it isn't too hard to rip through bosses like they're made of tissue paper- this is obviously the player's reward for exploring and finding powerful items, but it robs climactic fights such as Maxim and Dracula of their tension when you obliterate them in a rain of holy water. Still, a small sacrifice that comes with the genre.

Harmony is in a little bit of a weird place- it comes just after Circle of the Moon, which feels like the Castlevania team cutting their teeth on the GBA, but just before Aria of Sorrow, which displays a total understanding of the console and its limitations. It's the middle point between mistake and mastery but I think overall it trends towards the latter- feeling like a budget Symphony of the Night is by no means a bad thing when Symphony is just that fucking good. Harmony doesn't have much of a choice but to live in that inescapable shadow, and I think it ekes out a comfortable place as a solid entry in the series.

Also, Maxim mode and the Simon Belmont Boss Rush are fucking great additions. Symphony lets you play as Richter, who is a glass cannon that feels slightly worse than Alucard, and Circle lets you play with Magician mode, which is a slightly better run of the vanilla game, but Maxim feels so damn good to play.

Next- Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow
Previous- Castlevania: Circle of the Moon

CASTLEVANIA MARATHON- 14/22

The Castlevania team go from a shitty game with Circle to a pretty good game with Harmony to an excellent game with Aria. The team showcase a total mastery of the GBA, producing a worthy successor to Symphony of the Night.

Aria's plot is a huge shift from everything else in the series. Dracula, who has been the main villain of the entire series thus far, is killed for good around 35 years before the game takes place. You play as Soma Cruz, a Japanese high-schooler sucked into Dracula's castle, which was sealed inside a solar eclipse. Throughout the course of the game you meet other people similarly trapped in the castle as you race to find out just what happened to Dracula's soul and powers. Spoiler: Cruz is the reincarnation of Dracula and possesses immense dark magic, with another character trying to lay claim to your power. Along the way is a scraggy amnesiac by the name of J, later revealed to be Julius Belmont- the man who killed Dracula for good. The evolution of the story from "Go kill Dracula" to Aria's larger scope is a testament to the growing ambition of the team and deserves to be commended.

Aria has a system where you take the souls of enemies who you kill to utilise as either an active attack, passive effect or summon. The grinding isn't even remotely as bad as Circle's card system and ultimately leads to a huge variety in the ways you can approach a fight.

The bosses in Aria are great- a huge step up from the bad ones in Circle and the middling ones in Harmony. Combat in general has seen an improvement now that the Metroidvanias have moved away from strutting men with whips- aside from the souls there are a ton of weapons to use and Soma feels so fluid to control.

A small mercy the game grants is no second castle. Symphony's second castle was a great twist and gave the player a lot of time to play about with all of Alucard's abilities, but Harmony's two castles felt like diminishing returns. Aria keeps it to one big castle with an excellent interconnected design and plenty of fast-travel points.

There's so much to love about Aria- it's clear at this point that Igarashi and his team get what makes a good Metroidvania, and the following efforts made by him in the same vein are all pretty solid at worst and similarly excellent at best. If it weren't for Rondo being so damn good I would have no problem calling this the second best game in the series- bronze is still a medal, I guess.

Finally, Julius Belmont is the coolest motherfucker ever. Julius Mode is just you shitstomping bosses until you feel powerful enough to go shitstomp the final boss, and fighting him as Soma is the best boss fight in the series. Watching as Julius' Grand Cross attack that opens the second phase of his fight rips apart the castle visible in the background is my single favourite moment in the entire series. It's so fucking cool, especially when paired with a badass cover of some classic music.

Next- Castlevania: Lament of Innocence
Previous- Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG- 1/20

Holds up better than a lot of other gaming icons' first outing but still just alright- fuck Labyrinth Zone.

Next- Sonic the Hedgehog 2

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG- 2/20

Dude it starts out so fucking good- the levels are SO much better, the music is better, Tails is a neat addition and Super Sonic is great to play around with (significantly better Chaos Emerald minigames as well, might I add).

Then the game fucking nosedives in its second half.

After Mystic Cave Zone you get Oil Ocean (cruel badniks that are nigh-impossible to avoid getting hit by, long stretches of waiting in cannons), Metropolis (Fucking ass in every way I can describe and this is the one zone with 3 acts because fuck you), Sky Chase (Glorified cutscene), Wing Fortress (I actually don't mind it too much, it's just got a few dickish platforming segments but it's the last platforming in the game so it gets a pass) and Death Egg (Zero rings on hand against that shitty Egg robot makes for a really boring fight).

Sonic 2 does so much so well, and even at its lowest it's just on par with Labyrinth Zone from the first game, but if its second half wasn't such a fall from grace this would be an easy 9. Still love it though, excited for CD!

Next- Sonic CD
Previous- Sonic the Hedgehog

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG- 3/20

Feels more like a transitional game between Sonics 1 and 2 instead of 2 and 3, which is weird. There's not a dip in quality like Metropolis Zone, just a consistently okay experience that doesn't stack up to the first half of 2- a short one, too. CD has like half the zones of Sonic 2, but 3 acts per zone. It feels like a net loss, which I could forgive if the bosses were better than 2's selection. Most of them are pretty terrible, with the exception of racing Metal Sonic down Stardust Speedway, which is probably the highlight of the game.

Being on the Sega CD its presentation is leaps and bounds ahead of its Mega Drive bretheren- it's got the best OST of Sonic's 2D titles (also containing the series' first vocal track, which would rapidly become a staple, thankfully) and the little animated cutscenes have so much charm in them.

Overall a solid experience- definitely better than Sonic 1- but I was spoiled by the first half of Sonic 2.

Next- Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Previous- Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Overwatch fans in the current day are like Winston in the beginning of the Recall cinematic- pining for Overwatch to return to its glory days as something truly special after a catastrophic fall from grace.

Overwatch in its prime was really something else- universal acclaim, streams of awards and a community that loved the game to pieces. The game felt like a genuine breath of fresh air in a gaming landscape that needed that spark it once had. That's all gone now, and in its place is a broken mess riddled with corporate greed. Overwatch's fall from grace might be the biggest in the history of the medium.

Thanks for the memories.