This is a surprisingly good port of Street Fighter IV to the 3DS, however there is also surprisingly little to talk about here. It is essentially just Street Fighter IV but on the 3DS. The main issue people tend to have with this game is the fact that your only controller happens to be a Nintendo 3DS, but after playing the mobile version of this game I'm grateful to even have a joystick at all, and it honestly doesn't feel that bad. My inputs were pretty consistent and even most combos were pretty easy to pull off. The only thing that I found slightly annoying was inputting super/ultra moves, but the ability to do special moves by tapping the touch screen completely fixes that, even if it is a little busted on characters like Gief. There is also new headache inducing 3D mode that I would never recommend playing, but otherwise this is a pretty solid port.

Imma just say im a asshole before i start so like yeah this game got me into final fantasy and also simultaneously made me not consider myself a fan nor associate with them cus I genuinely dont understand how you play this game and 1 complain and say how you prefer the old turn based more too this shit like I get opinions and shit but imma be that guy and say thats fucking stupid and if genuinely believe the franchise is better off sticking to the same old shit atb system that lets be honest never even felt good to begin with is insane to me man I don't understand well I kinda do since now I know they hate anything not related to seven but still i can't comprehend it man I hate people final fantasy fans deserve less genuinely I have the same problem with them as I do with fnaf fans but I'm starting to sound retarded so imma stop hating now anyway the actual game imma start off with the shit i dont like uhh I dont like how theres only 1 alternative costume for the squad uhh I hate how slow it is to navigate everything and those fuckass chochbos or however you spell that doesn't really help it like doesn't take long to like call and hop on em but still like does ion know how to explain maybe I'm just autistic uhh the sidequests are kinda mid and slow especially if you don't really fw the characters or story but like I do heavy so it was never really a problem for me and I just kinda accepted that and I personally looked at it as slow in a good way since the main missions and especially the eikons more than make up how boring the sidequests but they lowkey kinda made the other missions kinda better because of that like everything else felt more like treat for suffering through helping gordick help pooplop with his dishes so yeah I'm not including the hunt tho they were great (if you had a YouTube guide like deadass how tf you supposed to find any of those) and uh I wish Dion had more scenes ig I like him he's my fav character and yes its because hes gay fuck you and yeah that's bout it other than the fact that the game runs like ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT LIKE CONSISTENTLY OTS CRAZY but like searched it up and apparently my ps5 dusty so uhh 😐 anyway yeah I love everything else in this game like deadass got me back into games and made me view games as art again like all Imma say is "titan lost" like holy fuck man if I could like eat a video game sequence it would be that and lowkey replaying the game I like bahumet just as much if not more like my first playthrough forever had Joshua saying he'll burn the world stuck in my head bro dions tuff af and I think this is the only final fantasy game that deserves to drop the title like imma be that guy again I think this the best final fantasy will be and will forever stay that way but ay it is what it is uhh to end off I think clives also the best protag in like all of fiction unlike clouds bitch ass (in the original he's way better in the remake since he actually has a character full offense to the original) and I stand by that just wish he wasn't British but we can't have everything 10/10

Ultimate Gradius Review Part 5.
(Covers Gradius I, II, III, Advance, V, Rebirth, GB Gradius I, GB Gradius II)

Just as Cringe and annoying as Nemesis for the GameBoy. Black and white graphics with an obscure enhanced port for a Japanese/European exclusive collection of Konami games, 5 short stages, with not too much to expand the game’s formula, other than trying to set up an MSX-like storyline and such. I’m disssing this one just like that one, and I’ll never play any GameBoy game again after the downfall of Gradius…

Alright, the game isn’t that bad as I originally thought it would be. In fact, I don’t think this game is bad at all. Sure for a Gradius game like its predecessor, it didn’t need to be put on the GameBoy out of all consoles save it for the GBA, but it really wasn’t that bad! Why, you may ask: Gradius, The Interstellar Assault, otherwise known as:

Nemesis II (Japan, OG GB),/Nemesis II: Return of the Hero (Europe, OG GB)

or

Gradius II (Japan, GBC Konami Collection)/Gradius II: Return of the Hero (Europe GBC Konami Collection)

…improves on the original GameBoy Gradius/Nemesis (the one with the overused music, just think about that one as that for now on) by having a bit more customization with… the missiles, and that’s it. I’m going to say right off the bat that despite the uniqueness of this game, it’s another one to skip on. This game has the same amount of stages as it’s predecessor with it only having 5, the customization is limited due to the GameBoy’s limitations, and as such, the game is extremely easy. This one is unique because it manages to be Gradius, but barely have the staple elements to what makes this a Gradius game. Just call it Gradius, but it isn't really Gradius. I was going to really think about making an extensive review on this game but... Nah.

I'll save all my energy for Gradius V because that, Gradius Advance, and Gradius ReBirth are my final Gradius games to make a review on! (Well, except for the MSX titles.) Stay tuned for those.

No you gotta understand, this is a different X, this is the reboot, he's a different character from the original one that actually came out in 2011, who is also a different X than the one in the game that came out in 2013, that's 2013 X, they were separated because the original creator of 2011 X (the creepypasta, not the game) turned out to be not the best. You mustn't confuse them with 2017 X either, that's a different reboot made by the same guy that made 2011 X (this one), who was actually originally rebooted by the creator of the creepypasta, but again, not the best, so we don't talk about that one. There's also Lord X, he's a future variant of 2011 X (this 2011 X) from an alternate timeline, he's the first, but not the original, you gotta understand. Not to mention the Legacy rendition of 2011 X, but he doesn't really count, he's not canon to actual X, he was only made for the Funk mod.

i love these guys

I have a lot of fond memories going over to my cousins going into splitscreen in a creative world to build or do literally anything we wanted; it was such an awesome experience making ice rinks and hotels and monster museums and door mazes, etc.
We'd have a lot of fun swapping (the two) controllers between the 5 of us and letting everyone have a go. They did eventually lose a controller which brought the experience down a bit, since it was only one person at a time then, and more people overtime seemed less interested in playing. But the good times were still there.

im kinda at a loss for words. in the spirit of the game, ill keep the review short. the only flaw was that it ended. everything felt so meticulously thought out. all the things you can find, the people you can talk to, fantastic ost, the beautiful artstyle... it just works in tandem to create something truly special. i wasnt expecting to like it this much. the ending made me cry, lol. fantastic piece of art that every gamer should try at least once, youre bound to find something to like in here.

The fact that a game can release from a beta yet be more egregious abhorrent is quite the feat. The fact there are so many backwards decisions is quite insane. Like generally how the hell does this get through. The worst part is the lack of any substance whatsoever. Everything you liked is way worse, locking characters in the battle pass, making characters more expensive, locking characters out of training and local(fucking hell). Making the game slower and buggy as all hell. Getting killed at 20% cause this game does not understand smash at all. Well they also added this pve mode which requires amounts of grinding with boring ass minigames and difficulties that could be also quite bullshit. Also requiring characters or cosmetics that u don't own to play some(thanks game...) Also real telling when ur game crashes every 5 minutes or a game disconnects. Didn't have this issue last time, so why now. But hey we added free glemnuim in the pass, please forgive us. I refuse to believe this game was playtested at all, this game feels more like a mobile game than an actual game to put on the market for consoles/pc. It's truly baffling; how did warner think people were gonna react to his. I don't know how this game is gonna approve, if it does then good, but at this point of time. If the game failed me twice, I'm not hoping for a third times the charm.

why geometry dash wasnt made in 3d tpo begin with

so ive been addicted to bossfight's milky ways ever since it came up in my yt recommended again because of mid 2010s nostalgia i guess. i found out there's a remix of it in this game so i play it. gthis game is ass. the game looks like ass. there's too much stuff on the screen to focus on what youre supposed to. the music is forgettable at best and at worst annoying. the milky ways remix isnt even that good. its so frustrating, i spent some 3 hours on this shit on the first 3 levels because they were that hard to read, because practice mode is also complete ass. this shit sucks. dropped after the 4th level was too frustrating to beat.

my time is better spent elsewhere.

This is gonna be a conflicting one.

In 2021, I first saw the trailer for NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139. I was a huge fan of Automata and had also played a bit of Gestalt before dropping it, so I was no stranger to the series. I wanted to play Replicant but also wanted to play every prior game beforehand. Alongside going back to Gestalt and finally beating that, I also decided to buy both Drakengard and Drakengard 3 since I knew they were connected to the series somehow. Fast forward to 2022, I randomly decide to finally dive into the Drakengard games. I play up until like chapter 3 or 4 I think and drop the game due to a skill issue. What did I think of it? I thought it was shit! Not only did I not like the gameplay, which most people don't ofc, I also just thought the story was super boring up to that point. The story was the main reason you'd be playing the game, so for me to not be into the characters or story at all, I just wasn't motivated to continue playing it. Fast forward to present day, fellow user Lemonstrade eggs me on to play it as a joke. Well I didn't back down and decided to beat it this time. The first mission or two, I immediately thought "yup this is still shit". But then I remembered some of the gameplay mechanics that made the game more tolerable and bada bing, I started to enjoy myself more.

So let's get into the absolute most contentious aspect of the game, the gameplay. The biggest issue I had with it, and it's still its biggest issue now, is it doesn't flow the best due to the camera. It's a fixed camera depending on what way you're facing and the right stick only tilts the screen a bit and goes back in place when you let go of it. If there's an enemy behind you, this can be really clunky feeling as you manually have to face the enemy before you can see them in front of you. I got used to this pretty quickly but this is the only major issue I had with the gameplay tbh. Otherwise, it's just a perfectly fine hack and slash/musou game. The actual gameplay, not including camera issues, is perfectly serviceable I felt. It actually does get satisfying killing hoardes of enemies while the side characters talk about how brutal Caim is. That plus there's combos that can knock enemies down which makes the gameplay more tolerable, there's summonable characters that can just mow down hoardes of enemies like nothing and the magic that changes depending on what weapon you're using. The combat is surprisingly more in depth than you'd think, and that's not even getting into the air combat. I found that more enjoyable from the start tho that can be even more frustrating than the ground combat at points just because how slow it is to aim sometimes. That's only an issue with later encounters and bosses but either way, the combat in this game? Not bad honestly, it's not great ofc but in the end I found it a lot enjoyable than when I played the game initially.

The music is honestly super fitting and also really experimental and out there. A big chunk of the songs sound like looping messes. It kind of sounds shit at first, and look I aint listening to the OST outside of the game, but it really is memorable. Playing this 2 years later, I still remembered all the early game songs. I wouldn't say I actually "like" the ost, except for maybe a couple of the more comprehensible songs, but it's still a good ost since the game is trying to drive you crazy.

Diving right into the story, I'm gonna just say it. I didn't think it was mind-blowing at all or even that amazing. My issue with not caring about the story or the characters still applied to a good chunk of my playtime here. It wasn't until like the last third, and all the endings, where I was actually interested. I really really enjoyed how crazy it got near the end, and I really loved the dark fantasy elements. I just wish more of the game was like that, and that the earlier chapters weren't so boring. But I also think that was the whole point, it was to subvert expectations and make you think it'll just be a boring fantasy game only to surprise you with all that craziness in the endgame. It also wasn't until post ending A, where you got cutscenes with all the side characters. Those were entertaining every once in a while but I just did not care about the cast in this game. Even Caim, who has an iconic design (which may have been caused by a very iconic user on this site) I just didn't like as much as I should've. I know the whole point of him not speaking is for the characters to describe how awful his slaughtering is and for you the player to basically take his role. That's a cool concept but it just made me not care about his character. It's funny how I'm more positive on the overall gameplay than the story, but the peaks of the endgame story cutscenes overshadow everything else at least. I just wish there was more idk. Also, that final boss, holy shit idk how you're supposed to do that without the pause trick or looking up inputs. I had to do both cuz otherwise I would've just not beaten the game lol.

Additionally, I may not really care about the cast in this game, but I can't deny the voice acting is actually surprisingly good. It's a mix of British and American voice actors but it works surprisingly well, especially for a game from 2003. Aroch, specifically when you summon her and she screams "WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN", holy crap is it satisfying. Idk who voices her but that voice actress was cooking.

So yeah, like I said, it's a very conflicting game for me. Usually you see people either loving or hating this one but I just personally think it's a decent little game that does some really unique things. I'm glad to finally have beaten this as a huge NieR fan and I'm glad I did end up enjoying this one overall. Excited to play 3 in the future, tho I also own that physically too and idk if I'm ready for the framerate lol.

6.5/10

Have you ever played a game that, despite all the good or bad things that it does, made you feel completely numb to it at the end of the day? Like, you can definitely form opinions on all of the things that it does, what it does right and wrong, how you think it could improve itself, and what you love about it, but at the end of the day, you just simply… don’t really care about it at all? I would argue that this is probably the worst kind of reaction you could have to any kind of game, even more so than straight up anger or hatred, because at least you can feel genuine, proper emotion from that rage, as you could if you end up loving a game, but if you don’t feel anything at all towards a game at all to the point of it being mind-numbing to you, then it’s probably gonna end up being less memorable to you, and you will probably forget it ever existed in the first place. This is essentially how I felt after I had beat the forgotten 90s arcade platformer known as Blue’s Journey.

I had never heard of this game until quite recently, where I was looking for another game from ADK to play and make fun of, since that is a running theme that I have built up for myself at this point. Out of their selection, I found this title, and based on how the poster looked, I thought it looked stupid, yet charming enough to where I would probably end up liking what I played. So, I decided to give it a shot, and I would say that it is a good-ish game, but… man, is it one of the most “whatever” games I have played in some time. It does have quite a bit going for it, and if it was somewhat more polished and refined, we could have ourselves a bonafide hidden gem on our hands here, but instead, we have a game with good elements and ideas that is extremely rough around the edges that I couldn’t give two shits about once it was all over.

The story is standard for this kind of game, where the insect kingdom of Raguy is taken over suddenly by the evil Daruma Empire, who seek to spread pollution and chaos throughout the land, so it is up to Blue to set out to not only stop the Daruma Empire from doing their evil deeds, but to also save the fair Princess Fa as well, which feels like a story that fits right in with typical video games stories of this era, not only because of how generic it is, but also because it’s a pollution PSA, and you know how they LOVED making those around this time. The graphics are good, having that cheap, yet still impressive looking style that Neo Geo games were known for at the time, but it doesn’t have that much of a distinct or impressive art style for me to like it too much, the music is alright, having plenty of upbeat tunes to listen to while you’re murdering all these innocent creatures, but nothing stands out as too original, catchy, or infectious, and the gameplay/control is somewhat standard for the kind of game this is, implementing some features that could be seen as innovative for this genre…. you know, if it hadn’t already been done before, and if this game did anything more with these concepts, but hey, A for effort.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of Blue, go through plenty of different stages throughout the expansive kingdom of Raguy, defeat the many foes you will encounter with the various weapons that you will find, or just by throwing them at other enemies, gather plenty of different weapons, money, and health items to assist you along the way and give you more points, enter various buildings to either speak with the inhabitants who will assist you on your journey, or to browse a shop full of many helpful items, and take on several bosses that can be a bit tricky at first, until you realize just how pathetically easy they are. There is a lot of typical fun, arcade platforming to be had here, with a lot of neat different gimmicks and traits that do make the game feel like it is actually somewhat trying, but then, when you take a step back, you will find that a lot of what this game does has been done once or twice before in plenty of other games, and in comparison, this game doesn’t do that much at all to make it stand out or feel unique.

With that being said though, there are some elements about the game that do make it stand out, with said elements going back to what the main character can do. Along with all of the different weapons you can use to defend yourself, you also have the power to shrink yourself down to size, allowing you access previously inaccessible areas and find some neat secrets. This is a pretty interesting concept and mechanic… at least it is IN THEORY, but here, this ability is useless to me. The only time I ever actually used this ability was in the second-to-last or last level, where I actually could not proceed without using the ability. I’m sure I probably could’ve gotten more use out of it through experimenting with several of the areas I went through, but most instances of this coming into play would only help me in getting extra points and shit like that, which I don’t really care about in this case.

Other than that though, there isn’t that much here to make the game stand out from others of its kind. There are alternating pathways that will require you to do multiple playthroughs to see all the levels, so that’s pretty cool for those who are completionists, and there are shops that you can often visit in order to purchase goodies, but most of the time for me, either I didn’t have enough money to get anything, or the stuff that they had on sale wasn’t really worth spending anything on at all. And lastly, after beating each boss, you get the chance to participate in a lottery in order to gain permanent upgrades like extra health, which was really helpful whenever I got the chance to take on that. The rest of the game is your basic arcade platformer through and through, having all the typical ups and downs of one, and while I still consider the game to be good in its own regard, it all just feels so… artificial to me, to the point where I just can’t even be bothered to care too much about it. Then again, I could also say this for a lot of the games I have played from ADK.

But of course, since this is a typical arcade platformer, it also comes with the typical arcade platformer problems you have come to expect. First and foremost, arcade syndrome does rear its disgusting, grease-covered face around the corner, with plenty of enemies being thrown at you in many different areas, but unlike something like Athena, it doesn’t feel mindless, and all the enemies feel like they belong in the places where they do spawn. It can just be a little hectic with how many there can be at once in one given area. Secondly, while most of the platformer is serviceable, there are specific parts of the game that can just straight up BLOW ME for all I care. There were at least two different times where I encountered a section where you need to jump on these moving platforms that were going from the right to the left, each row having different speeds to them, and these sections are ASS. Not only can the platforms be spaced out enough to where you need PIXEL-PERFECT jumps in order to land on them at times, but also, in terms of the second of these sections, you have barely any time to get on these platforms before either being pushed off an edge, or blocked from getting anywhere, making all of these feel like a crap shoot that isn’t fun to deal with in the slightest. Thankfully though, this only applies to these two sections, as the rest of the platforming is serviceable enough to where I can get by without complaining like a little bitch more than I already am.

Overall, despite arcade syndrome still being a blight on this Earth and some bullshit sections here or there, Blue’s Journey fits perfectly alongside plenty of the other ADK titles I have played, being a very run-of-the-mill arcade platformer that does take plenty of inspiration and ideas from plenty of different places, and has its own interesting ideas as well, but it doesn’t do enough with said ideas or inspiration to where it feels that useful or substantial, making for a decent experience, but one that I myself couldn’t care too much about. I would recommend it for those that are big into old-school arcade games, and just want something to play through in about an hour or so, but for everyone else, there are plenty of better options out there that you could go with aside from this. But, before I go, I may as well show you all what the game over screen in this game looks like, because it is guilt-trippy as FUCK. Seriously, they try their hardest to coerce you into putting more money into the machine, and when you don’t do it, not only do they call you a bad guy, but they also show the polluted wasteland that YOU caused by not putting another quarter into that machine. Well, gee, SORRY, Mr. Game, but if I want to be talked down to like I’m a tiny child, I would just go re-watch the Avatar films, ok? I don’t gotta put up your shit too.

Game #594