1717 Reviews liked by TheSlowKenyan


The version of the game that I, uh...found has an issue where the main menu never shows up. Most likely a DOSBox problem. I was able to play one track. It was kind of relaxing except for the absolutely dreadful and repetitive music.
I doubt I'll be coming back to this one. I probably would have loved this as a kid if I had owned it. The graphics are pretty impressive for its time. However, I have many other games I would like to play, and racing using KBM controls is neither comfortable nor fun. I have no desire to constantly hold the "up" button.

*Played as part of the Master Chief Collection

I think this might be the best Halo game?
It's just the perfect sequel and prequel to all that came before it, with a tight, harrowing story, told through great cinematics and pulse-pounding gameplay. They were seriously cooking with the story on this one, not only with the contents, but the actual cinematography used in the cutscenes is movie-level. It was a joy to watch. Unlike ODST, I actually felt emotionally connected to the characters of Noble Team as well.
Gameplay-wise, adding abilities like sprint and jetpack makes the player experience that much more fun and open to experimentation. Sure, we lost some features like dual-wielding and the Battle Rifle, but the game just feels so much more fast-paced and you feel like a total badass ditching empty guns mid-fight to keep fighting the overwhelming forces.
I don't think it's my favourite Halo game - Halo 2 still holds that title - but this is definitely a close second. It's also mechanically the superior entry, which is why I'm giving it a perfect score.

Dehydrated Osman, I fear, I regret 2 say šŸ˜”. Could be that playing it on default diff didn't push me hard enough to want to learn the mechanics more intimately but I would rather save that energy for a game isn't so bizarrely lethargic despite suggesting bombast in its sets and encounter design. Lots of vertical variety going on here but it's all of little consequence when you can walk through it like a spider's web. The Harumaru illustrations adorning the story sequences are an abso joy though, it's insane how bleeding-edge her work on this game continues being after a whole 25 years. The inspiring stuff whole careers are nourished by.

A pretty fun retro throwback survival horror of blocky polygonal PSX models, a desolate tone, fun puzzles and atmosphere make up for an easy time for veterans of the genre like myself (maybe hard mode will fix that). Save room music was pretty perfect though, would like to see this studio develop this style further in future games.

the only tony hawk game i played for years. imagine how shocking it was when i listened to the full version of "ace of spades" for the first time last year and discovered that the song had sections other than its chorus and "DON'T FORGET THE JOKER". the soundtrack i've had stuck in my head since i was like 12 was all weird truncated edits made to fit on a cartridge. i didn't even know this was a ps2 game!

It's alright, but not that interesting overall. Some good performances, but the story isn't that compelling and the presentation style is just awkward.
Would have probably been better served as a movie. Angela Sarafyan is my one true love.

The bargain-bin version of Id Software's latest outing, Necromunda: Hired Gun has some fun moments, but does nothing to distinguish itself from its (reasonably priced) competition.
Necromunda is a fast-paced linear shooter. two biggest influences seem to be Nu-Doom and Rage 2. Like Nu-Doom, the game is a linear, fast-paced shooter that generally funnels from combat arena to combat arena, occasionally breaking up the monotony with a bit of platforming. Like Rage 2, you have a variety of superpowers that you can upgrade throughout the game, including slo-mo and wallrunning. There's a bit of Borderlands in here as well: in between missions, there's a hub world where you can buy upgrades and sell your gear.
Those two games are awesome, and it would seem that mixing both of them and throwing Warhammer 40K in the mix would result in something even more awesome. But instead, the result is less than the sum of its influences. In fact, I'd say that the game it most resembles is Cyberpunk 2077. Not only does the gunplay resemble playing Cyberpunk with a lot of augs[1] activated, but, just like Cyberpunk the entire thing has a half-baked feel. The game tries to be a quasi looter-shooter (like Cyberpunk 2077 does), but none of the loot is particularly interesting, and I gave up even worrying about upgrading weapons about halfway through and still steamrolled through the game. The shooting just feels off; I can't put my finger on what is wrong with it, but it gave me the same vibes as Cyberpunk 2077. I don't feel motivated to install the game and figure out why it didn't feel right. The shotgun is awful; grenades were awful, and I never understood the point of summoning the attack dog. There's a terrible mechanic inspired by Doom's Glory Kills whereby you get health whenever you use an (overpowered) finisher on an enemy. But this is also somehow tied to your taking damage, so how much you heal is dependent on how much damage you've just taken...I think. It was never clear to me in playing it. Finishing an enemy would sometimes give me a little health and sometimes give me a medium amount. Maybe on paper it sounded goo-

From the Wiki: [The default Auto-Sanguine ability a]llows recovery of health for a short period of time after getting hit
The more damage you inflict and the more enemies you kill in this short timespam, the more health you recover.


Yeah, that's stupid.
By the time you get to level 5 you've seen all the enemies other than bosses; even Far Cry 3/4 have better enemy variety than this game. The graphics look pretty decent and there are some cool environments, but these cause a major problem for the wallrunning. It's not totally clear what surfaces are wallrunnable and which ones are not. In a PS2 game, this would be obvious because the textures and objects would be very clean and simple. Anything that you could run on would most likely be flat and look flat. However, in this game there are a lot of surfaces that are bumpy and uneven and sometimes you can run on them and sometimes you can't. I don't know what makes you able to wallrun on some and not the others; I'm not sure that the game knows. Sometimes I would fail to wallrun on a completely flat surface and othertimes I would sprint happily along some ornate monstrosity and it was never clear to me why wallrunning worked in one case and not the other.
The slo-mo is lame too, and trying to use the slo-mo and the wallrunning in tandem was more frustrating than cool. The quality of the story sits somewhere between "80s anime OVA" and "drunkenly explaining Warhammer 40K lore in the bar at 3:00 am." Instead of just sticking to a simple, but reliable plot, the games writers instead crafted an utterly confusing and convoluted storyline that requires fairly extensive background knowledge of Warhammer 40K to even come close to understanding. As best I could grasp it, you play as a glorified errand boy doing the bidding of some guy from the Warhammer 40K comics so he can accomplish...something. There's a bunch of political maneuvering by bad guys who we don't really know about and don't care about. Characters drop a lot of names that we are expected to know. It's like The Phantom Menace, but a lot worse. A simple revenge tale, or a find-the-MacGuffins-before-the-bad-guys-do romp would have been a much better fit. I'm not going to be sad when a slam-bang action shooter has a weak story, but if the story is going to be shoved in my face on a regular basis, I expect it to be good, or at least comprehensible. And the game really does shove it in your face: in addition to cutscenes, you have to talk to two or three flavor characters in the hub world before you can play the next mission.
I definitely enjoyed parts of this game, but it has so many poorly-made elements that I can't really recommend it to anyone. It's not that the game is dreadful (it's hard to ruin fast-paced shooters), but there are so many better games in the genre that are worth playing.
Notes to the devs:
1) If you're going to include wallrunning, make sure it is clear to the player which walls are fair game for running. Please.
2) The limited inventory was a good design choice. After every mission, you can choose which loot to keep in your (very) limited inventory, and everything else is automatically sold. This keeps you from amassing piles of junk and wasting time selling it. Wish more games did this.
3) I do not wish to play any more games where I have to violently kill female NPCs. Call me old fashioned, but I can't enjoy brutally sticking a knife in some chick's face or gunning down a lady. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. Yes, I know that there's some arcane 40K lore about the all-women gangs of the Underhive or something. Fine--let me play as one of those characters, then. Or just tone down the violence.

Probably a decent game in its own right, but the saving system was rage-inducing for me. The game rarely autosaves (if at all), leading to multiple moments where I lost hours of progress. Since this is game is neither universally revered nor (to my mind) incredibly compelling, I abandoned it.

"Perhaps," I thought to myself, "I was too hard on the Diablo clone genre. Perhaps it was merely Diablo IV and Torchlight that I did not care for." And with these kind and generous thoughts in mind, I downloaded Warhammer: Chaosbane during Xbox's free Warhammer Weekend.
After a bit of a frame story, I was dropped into the repetitive world of Chaosbane. Once again, just like Diablo IV I was assailed by countless enemies who were to me as but fleas. I came. I saw. I held the A button. I conquered. At one point I decided to just sit and see how long it would take me to die on normal mode. My enemies assailed me on all sides and my health bar barely dropped.
"This game is so easy I could play it with one hand tied behind my back" I thought. And so I did.
This was actually an interesting experience. With my thumb on the control stick and my fingers pressing the button, I was able to get through an entire dungeon. The only true challenge was pressing one of the bumpers; this was only rarely needed, but I couldn't do it without relinquishing the control stick. In fact, the game was so easy that even while playing it this way I began to lose interest and my mind wandered. I started daydreaming of "ways to save the Diablo Clone genre."

Maybe you could have a game like this that's actually a Mass Effect style CRPG, where the real gameplay is conversations and making choices, and fighting hordes of braindead enemies is just there to add some friction

Maybe enemies in these games should have elemental affinities and you should have to switch between elemental attacks really fast in order to have a shot at damaging the enemies.

Maybe these kinds of games actually just really suck, and you want them to be good because of how cool the covers of the old Diablo games look

Eventually, I finished another dungeon and gave the game a third and final chance, this time playing it on super-ultra-mega-hard mode. In the game's defense, it was a good deal more challenging, but most of this challenge involved kiting enemies until I could regenerate health. I ended up in once scenario where I was simply running around a room for a solid five minutes being chased by a big chungus and his army of smaller chungii, all while my character's voice lines constantly kept playing.

"They'll never take me alive!"
"They'll never take me alive!"
"This is not my final hour!"
"This is not my final hour!


"Well, at least he's got a positive outlook on life," said my dad, who was in the room while I was playing the game. And that, Dear Reader, is one thing I share with the main character of this game, most likely because Xbox GamePass Ultimate was able to save me the frustration of spending any significant amount of time or money on Warhammer: Chaosbane. Add this to the long list of bullets dodged. To sum up, I can't put it better than Tomonubo Itagaki:
"As a real man, I find no feeling of achievement in beating up millions of defenseless enemies. As for my opinion as a gamer, my free time is too valuable to spend it hacking away at an endless stream of dumb-as-a-brick opponents."

This review will contain minor spoilers involving a gameplay mechanic

I think if I was to describe this game in one word it would be "Uncomfortable".

I saw the press the second game was getting and since its free on game pass I was gonna just jump straight into that but I realised the first game was free as well so I thought I might as well play through it first.

The story of this game is what everyone is going to be there for. You play as Senua who has travelled to Helheim to retrieve the soul of her partner Dillion. I had no idea this game was set within Norse mythology so that was a big win for me out the gate as I love that stuff. Senua is plagued by constant voices in her head second guessing absolutely everything she does, constantly beating her down with whatever she is trying to do, so much so it can be hard to listen to at times. The main point of the game is Senua trying to overcome her grief which is shown in a lot of ways. I wont get to much into spoilers but I think the story is fantastic and kept me interested throughout the lacklustre gameplay sections

I absolutely love the character designs in this game. The Northmen all look disgusting, like hybrids of humans and animals. There are 5 enemy variants being the one with a sword, one with a hammer, one with a hammer and a shield, one massive guy with an executioner axe and one fast jumping guy with two small axe's. For the limited combat sections this game has there is enough variety to keep it interesting. I love the designs for the bosses in this game, each one towers over Senua. Valravn, Surtr Garm and Hela all look terrifying and look nothing like any designs I have seen for them previously. The game really excels off of the performances from the actors. Melina Juergens gives a fantastic performance as Senua, which I was surprised to see is her only credited acting role.

Now unfortunately the gameplay is where I would imagine the game looses a lot of people. The gameplay is very repetitive mostly revolving around perspective puzzles and small combat sections. They are cool to start with but when each area contains the exact same puzzle format it gets old fast. The game is only around 6 hours in length but took me several days to get through just to avoid burnout. The combat system is fun and I enjoyed all the segments with it but I wasn't really a fan of the "Permadeath" feature the game has. Each time Senua dies a bit more of her is covered by this black rash looking thing called "Rot" the game tells you that if you fail too many time then your quest will be over, insinuating that you have to start again. This actually isnt true as it was just a fluke which I guess was put in to further hammer in that nothing the voices tell you can be trusted. I'm not a huge fan of permadeath stuff so I was a little turned away by this but the combat is easy enough to master that it proved not a problem.

Visually this game is stunning, for being 7 years old it holds up extremely well with beautiful landscapes and extremely well designed characters as previously mentioned. Soundtrack is a banger as well. I think the place that this game excels the most is its sound design, playing this game with good headphones is a must as you can hear the voices moving around your head, it really adds to the atmosphere.

I was taken by surprise that this game is kind of a horror game at times. The whole game has a creepy atmosphere with weird voices talking to you all the time but certain segments, particularly the Garm one were genuinely scary. Add the weird 4th wall breaks when Senua just straight up talks to the unseen voices while looking straight at you and you have yourself one genuinely creepy game.

Overall I think this is a great game but is unfortunately let down by its repetitive gameplay mechanics. I would however not recommend this if you suffer from any kind of mental disorder like schizophrenia as I feel like it could be quite triggering. Good to see the developers acknowledge that with plentiful trigger warnings each time the game is loaded up. Great creepy and stressful story with amazing visuals.

Not as good as Dark Souls, but still a fun experience overall. You can definitely see the building blocks for the rest of the franchise in this one, but there are a few quality-of-life improvements that the "future" entries introduced that were sorely missing from this, such as jumping, kicking shields, etc. Some great, memorable boss designs though. Umbasa.

I thought Metal Gear Solid was already so good and it couldnā€™t get any better then I played 2, and then I thought no way theyā€™re topping this?? Then I played Metal Gear Solid 3.

Metal Gear Solid 3 is simply put a masterpiece from the get go. From the setting to the gameplay mechanics to the soundtrack to the story. Everything is upped to 10 and literally everything is innovated upon from MGS2. This is a must play and stealth action at its peak.

MGS3 has made such a huge impact to gaming itā€™s crazy, so many modern mechanics that games implement can be found here such as healing your character in a realistic way, hunting for animals and eating so your character doesnā€™t get tired, and so much more.

The character of Naked Snake is so freaking good too going to explore the character of big boss was such a great idea and itā€™s so cool to see where it all started. Just like Solid Snake Big Boss is a great and layered character and seeing his journey from virtuous mission to snake eater was amazing. You develop such great relationships with characters like Eva and Ocelot throughout playing the game.

The story is so amazing, Kojima leaning in to the James Bond esque story and vibe was such a great choice and the story is filled with so many twists. The ending and final boss of MGS3 is one of the best in gaming. And man the soundtrackkkk Snake Eater is the best theme in gaming idc.

The Boss is also arguably the greatest female character in gaming history. A character with so much depth and hearing her story throughout the story was so insane. She been through itšŸ˜­

Boss fights were so good too the cobras really put you through the ringer and I love all the top action and crazy fight scenes. Adapting in this game is some of the best ever having to strategize for different areas and enemies.

I canā€™t wait for MGS Delta, hopefully Konami does a good job with it cus this game is so so good and deserves the best remake.

10/10

Iā€™ve been thinking a lot about storytelling in video games lately. Well, storytelling as a whole actually. What exactly makes a fictional world feel compelling to me? How should you best spin a yarn as to make the characters breathe, their struggles resonate, and their victories triumphant? Most importantly, if a writer did have the vision and the wherewithal to execute said vision, then how could they best convince their audience that their vision was worth their time?

This week, I might have come a step closer to realizing those answers by revisiting an old favorite of mine.

428: Shibuya Scramble is not just your ordinary traditional visual novel. Itā€™s a crime thriller, a romantic comedy, and an investigative journalism drama all rolled into one. That description alone could sell the game, but the crazy part is that the narrative is just the icing on top of this deceptively layered and charismatic tale. The game's greatest strength is not just what it has to say, but rather how it says it.

As I've discussed previously, many story-heavy games have difficulty marrying their storytelling and their gameplay, often choosing to stratify their game into separate sections of explicit narrative and explicit gameplay. 428 Shibuya Scramble does not struggle with this whatsoever, for the interaction with the narrative is the gameplay and it presents its story in such a way where every detail matters. You see, 428: Shibuya Scramble operates in hourly time slots with several protagonists at once. The goal is to guide each protagonist on their separate storyline and ensure that every protagonist makes it to the end of each hour by making the correct decisions and avoiding untimely demise through bad ends. However, thereā€™s a catch. Protagonists can reach bad ends on their own paths even if every decision they make within their contained storyline is ā€œcorrect.ā€ This is because these different storylines intersect one another in various ways, and decisions made with one character will ultimately echo throughout the hour, affecting the other protagonists in unforeseen ways.

As such, the player isnā€™t doing anything mechanically complex aside from reading text and picking the right options most of the time, which means that like the best detective games, 428 is really about the game outside of the game. The player has to figure out how the butterfly effect ripples across each hour, even as characters often impact one another without ever coming face to face. For example, one of the characters can become incapacitated by consuming a potent energy drink on the job; you can avoid this bad end by making sure an earlier character fails to provide his detective partner with the lethal sample. While the nature of these intersections is often unclear, 428 revels in this uncertainty. Itā€™s not content with simply using its bad ends as punishments; rather, it grasps these bad ends as opportunities to inject additional lore and guide the player towards the truth. These bad ends are often light-hearted and comedic just as they are valuable learning opportunities, and somehow the game walks the tightrope between solemnity and levity without ever losing sincerity. Simply put, most story-heavy games are constantly asking the five Ws, but 428 Shibuya Scramble is one of the rare whimsical games that dares ask ā€œWhat if?ā€

On a similar note, a lot of players tend to get frustrated by 428ā€™s habit of barricading individual protagonist paths with ā€œKEEP OUTā€ banners, but I find this mechanic to be a stroke of genius. In order to clear these barricades, players are forced to traverse other protagonistsā€™ stories in the meanwhile and search for a ā€œJUMPā€ point linking them back to the original blocked protagonist. By doing so, theyā€™re often hopping around the hour and viewing events from multiple parallel perspectives, gathering more information to better grasp how the timelines intertwine. Moreover, the game fully commits to this idea of rounding out its narrative by even hiding JUMP points behind certain decisions that would otherwise have no bearing upon story events (i.e. ā€œflavor text questions/decisionsā€) and certain TIPs (blue colored text that when selected, provides additional background). This keeps the player vigilant, as theyā€™re constantly on the prowl for connections while soaking in every detail and considering every possibility to push the plot forward.

Of course, this is not to take away from the gameā€™s multitude of other strengths. For instance, consider the gameā€™s sound design. From hurried footsteps and screeching cars in high-speed chases to distant explosions and sirens spelling imminent doom, Chunsoft knew just how to punctuate every moment with appropriate sound effects. Another obvious selling point is 428ā€™s reliance upon live action stills and full motion video, which aside from standing out from other sketched and animated visual novels, provides the game a sense of immersion and realism that interestingly often contrasts with the gameā€™s over-the-top sense of humor. Finally, the actors do a great job emoting and infusing their lines with personality despite the lack of voice acting. Alongside the phenomenal character design, written in such a way where every character has obvious flaws yet remain every bit relatable, thereā€™s a certain charm to 428 Shibuya Scramble that many of its peers fail to imitate. As a complete and tightly-knit package, its artistic decisions and gameplay mechanics do not simply capture Shibuya; they perpetuate the energy of the city, enthralling and surprising the player at every turn.

Iā€™m often reluctant to revisit beloved titles. More often than not, giving old favorites another spin with a more critical eye or even thinking about them for too long causes them to deteriorate somewhat in my mind, forcing me to confront my prior nostalgia. Itā€™s never a great feeling to question yourself if something you once loved was really all that great to begin with. 428 is the exact opposite of this. Donā€™t get me wrong; the game does have some rough points. The inability to adjust text speed and skip previously read text can be a huge ask for players with limited time (though if youā€™re playing on PC, the unofficial text speed patch alleviates this somewhat), and I find myself agreeing with others in that the true ending leaves something to be desired. I wonā€™t deny that I had some apprehensions upon replaying yet another memorable classic.

Yet somehow, this game has lived rent-free in my head for over half a decade. I had intended to replay it for just an hour or two to refresh my palette, as I had already 100%ed it and wanted to move onto newer and grander adventures. In spite of that, I found myself with the exact opposite problem. I simply could not put the game down. 428 Shibuya Scramble is the rare example of a game that to me, never stops getting better. Playing through it again immediately reminded me of why I fell in love with video games to begin with, and it didnā€™t matter that I had seen the destination already; the thrill of the journey was enough to make me return. Iā€™m sure that I could ponder more areas of improvement and potential fixes, though honestly, I canā€™t bring myself to care. There arenā€™t many games that I unabashedly adore and wish for more, but there are even fewer games that manage to spark my Imagination and leave me content with what I have. At the end of the day, 428: Shibuya Scramble is not just a triumph of the medium; it's a triumph of human inevitability, gathering momentum until coincidence and fate become reality. I may have become more cynical over time, but it's moments like these that prove that sometimes, it really does pay to believe.

one more minute of this and i'm pretty sure i'll get brain aneurysm and die

the type of game where i'm surprised you don't get actual reddit gold for clearing levels and when you die some neckbeard photoshops you in reddit heaven next to harambe or doge
bad visuals, bad combat, bad story, bad characters, bad dialogue, bad everything. i wonder who thought recreating retro anime aesthethic meant adding rgb lighting and memes in every corner possible