TheSlowKenyan
I'd say The Bookwalker: Thief of Tales isn't really worth your time, unfortunately, even if you're already paying for Game Pass. It has a cool world concept and its art is nice to look at, but it's basically a walking simulator with a story that'll only barely tease you with interest before falling flat.
It has an intriguing hook. Just starting in a cramped tenement in first person, you'll likely be a bit confused as most if not all screenshots you've seen show an isometric view. Here you'll get a feel for your character, Etienne: an author who's being punished by a “writer's police” for a heinous crime. His seemingly entire life has been confiscated and he's going to be miserable for the next 30 years, the length of his bar from writing. When a criminal organization offers to remove his literal shackles and give him his life back, of course he's going to pay whatever their price is.
The price, what you'll be doing in the game, is stealing literary objects from books so that they can be “plagiarized” into other, newer books for a fee. The old book loses its value now that what's usually a key plot element has vanished from it, and it has to be taken down from shelves. It's not piracy, you're literally stealing the original item (from inside the story) so some talentless schmuck can use it in his junky novel not worthy of your bathroom's library. How that new author doesn't get caught, I don't know, but I guess it's not important. It's all Etienne can do to get back on track, and you'll want to help him do it.
But, as another reviewer here (Raxun) says, this game is a playable story. However, I deviate from their thoughts as I don't think it's one worth checking out, because the story isn't very interesting after the intro segment. A playable story is only as good as the writing, but you won't learn much more about Etienne and his story until the fifth of six chapters, and by then it's too little too late. The plot rushes to a close after what felt like several hours of stalling. It tries to be sentimental but I don't feel like it's really earned.
The game has turn-based combat that is pretty competent, but also very easy and there'll be only two fights (or sometimes only one) per chapter. It may as well not be there.
The writing of dialogue between Etienne and his sidekick, a character in a chain he names Roderick, is solid. It's believable, but I don't think it's some amazing story in dire need of viewers.
Again, I think this really is unfortunate, because there's definitely potential here. A world where the TV was never finalized and books are more heavily relied upon for entertainment, so how they're created has seen major, basically-magical changes: I'm interested! The art looks nice and the conversations feel like genuine people. But what do you do? Very little. What do you experience? The story that got you hooked basically places you in a waiting room for hours before flashing a few pictures in front of you and then tossing you out the back door.
It's a very linear experience, the dialogue choices are basically optional until you click the “right” one, so (I think) there's only one way to play the story. You can choose between two different fighting upgrades betwixt (sorry) levels, but since the combat is so sparse, I don't think the couple minutes this may barely change across hours of dialogue is worth the replay.
I remember liking Do My Best's other game, The Final Station, though truth be told I don't remember much of it. I think The Bookwalker shows promise, it just fails to see it through. I wish these guys the best on their next project and I hope they learn from this one.
I do not recommend The Bookwalker: Thief of Tales. I do recommend you read more books, we all should.
It has an intriguing hook. Just starting in a cramped tenement in first person, you'll likely be a bit confused as most if not all screenshots you've seen show an isometric view. Here you'll get a feel for your character, Etienne: an author who's being punished by a “writer's police” for a heinous crime. His seemingly entire life has been confiscated and he's going to be miserable for the next 30 years, the length of his bar from writing. When a criminal organization offers to remove his literal shackles and give him his life back, of course he's going to pay whatever their price is.
The price, what you'll be doing in the game, is stealing literary objects from books so that they can be “plagiarized” into other, newer books for a fee. The old book loses its value now that what's usually a key plot element has vanished from it, and it has to be taken down from shelves. It's not piracy, you're literally stealing the original item (from inside the story) so some talentless schmuck can use it in his junky novel not worthy of your bathroom's library. How that new author doesn't get caught, I don't know, but I guess it's not important. It's all Etienne can do to get back on track, and you'll want to help him do it.
But, as another reviewer here (Raxun) says, this game is a playable story. However, I deviate from their thoughts as I don't think it's one worth checking out, because the story isn't very interesting after the intro segment. A playable story is only as good as the writing, but you won't learn much more about Etienne and his story until the fifth of six chapters, and by then it's too little too late. The plot rushes to a close after what felt like several hours of stalling. It tries to be sentimental but I don't feel like it's really earned.
The game has turn-based combat that is pretty competent, but also very easy and there'll be only two fights (or sometimes only one) per chapter. It may as well not be there.
The writing of dialogue between Etienne and his sidekick, a character in a chain he names Roderick, is solid. It's believable, but I don't think it's some amazing story in dire need of viewers.
Again, I think this really is unfortunate, because there's definitely potential here. A world where the TV was never finalized and books are more heavily relied upon for entertainment, so how they're created has seen major, basically-magical changes: I'm interested! The art looks nice and the conversations feel like genuine people. But what do you do? Very little. What do you experience? The story that got you hooked basically places you in a waiting room for hours before flashing a few pictures in front of you and then tossing you out the back door.
It's a very linear experience, the dialogue choices are basically optional until you click the “right” one, so (I think) there's only one way to play the story. You can choose between two different fighting upgrades betwixt (sorry) levels, but since the combat is so sparse, I don't think the couple minutes this may barely change across hours of dialogue is worth the replay.
I remember liking Do My Best's other game, The Final Station, though truth be told I don't remember much of it. I think The Bookwalker shows promise, it just fails to see it through. I wish these guys the best on their next project and I hope they learn from this one.
I do not recommend The Bookwalker: Thief of Tales. I do recommend you read more books, we all should.
2023
Pikmin 4: An enjoyable and charming game eventually diminished by its repetition. The game needs some cutting or big formula changes to justify its length yet you'll find more worlds and cave systems that'll feel just like the previous ones. However, if you absolutely love the Pikmin formula, prepare for a load of content just for you.
I found the writing to probably be Pikmin 4's strongest aspect. After every outing, you come back to your team and there's a nightly debriefing where they'll chat. You'll see different chats based on what you've done that day, or if you did nothing special, you'll still see a unique conversation that'll usually net a giggle. It's pretty good.
The gameplay is also pretty good until it isn't. You have several Pikmin types and ideally the gameplay will change based which Pikmin is most suitable for the situation. Unfortunately, the game rarely creates any situations where you have to think about anything. Most enemies are dealt with by charging with Oatchi, which will stun and damage the enemy and toss every Pikmin you have at them simultaneously. A single button (charged) will kill almost everything in under one second.
The exceptions to this, like flying enemies or bosses whose weak points aren't in reach, are pretty infrequent. Almost every single enemy, regardless of the charge, follows the same pattern of “throw a ton of Pikmin at them, wait until they shuck your Pikmin off, whistle your Pikmin back to avoid their retaliation, repeat”. It becomes very tedious very early and even most bosses are just bigger versions of the same thing.
Also, the sheer number of cutscenes you're going to skip, my god. There should be an option in settings to do away with the stupid things, there'll be hundreds of them just getting in your way. Stuff like the same cutscene every single time you enter a cave, then the cutscene for falling into the cave and another for every level you descend, it's simply unnecessary and you'll skip them every time.
It's cute and colorful and can be pretty funny at times, but I found Pikmin 4 to eventually be a bore. There's a fakeout ending which adds not one but two more worlds. I was pretty upset to see I had more to go (though in terms of the narrative, it had to happen, because the team was going to leave without saying a proper “Goodbye” to the Pikmin? What the fuck?). One more world, fine, I'll check it out. But to throw another world on top of that? No thanks, I'm done spamming charges.
I found the writing to probably be Pikmin 4's strongest aspect. After every outing, you come back to your team and there's a nightly debriefing where they'll chat. You'll see different chats based on what you've done that day, or if you did nothing special, you'll still see a unique conversation that'll usually net a giggle. It's pretty good.
The gameplay is also pretty good until it isn't. You have several Pikmin types and ideally the gameplay will change based which Pikmin is most suitable for the situation. Unfortunately, the game rarely creates any situations where you have to think about anything. Most enemies are dealt with by charging with Oatchi, which will stun and damage the enemy and toss every Pikmin you have at them simultaneously. A single button (charged) will kill almost everything in under one second.
The exceptions to this, like flying enemies or bosses whose weak points aren't in reach, are pretty infrequent. Almost every single enemy, regardless of the charge, follows the same pattern of “throw a ton of Pikmin at them, wait until they shuck your Pikmin off, whistle your Pikmin back to avoid their retaliation, repeat”. It becomes very tedious very early and even most bosses are just bigger versions of the same thing.
Also, the sheer number of cutscenes you're going to skip, my god. There should be an option in settings to do away with the stupid things, there'll be hundreds of them just getting in your way. Stuff like the same cutscene every single time you enter a cave, then the cutscene for falling into the cave and another for every level you descend, it's simply unnecessary and you'll skip them every time.
It's cute and colorful and can be pretty funny at times, but I found Pikmin 4 to eventually be a bore. There's a fakeout ending which adds not one but two more worlds. I was pretty upset to see I had more to go (though in terms of the narrative, it had to happen, because the team was going to leave without saying a proper “Goodbye” to the Pikmin? What the fuck?). One more world, fine, I'll check it out. But to throw another world on top of that? No thanks, I'm done spamming charges.
2021
Possibly the longest and dullest “adventure” I've seen to the end in many years. The map for this game is absurd: it's way too large and you're going to have to explore 98% of it if you hope to see the credits. First game I've ever seen where you NEED to have a podcast playing in the background so your brain is occupied with at least something while you mindlessly cut down streetlights, crops, cars, buildings, whatever. Get used to doing that.
Also, first game I've ever seen ask me if it's okay for it to use emojis. The answer is “Yes”, of course, as they're the most exciting part of the mostly unspoken text and world.
Want to know how exciting this game is? An in-game token you eventually find is just a speedhack: everything operates 30% faster. This item will feel like a small gift from God.
Probably the loneliest game I've played in some time, too, prepare for “Cast Away” vibes. You won't meet a single other person and you'll only hear a couple voices (one being text-to-speech) throughout the entire 50+ hours you're on the island. Your only company is the small variety of enemies you'll kill thousands of, and they're not particularly chatty. The combat is extremely shallow and boring, making cutting down enemies barely any different from cutting down trees.
The story gets interesting towards the end, I guess, but it'll require a lot of drive and self-hatred to get you there. There's no doubt in my mind it's not worth the wait.
It all works, at least. I experienced no big bugs. I was also able to catch up on a comedy podcast I've been putting off for a while, so that was nice.
The most tepid gaming experience you can ask for and way too much of it. I don't recommend Dysmantle.
Also, first game I've ever seen ask me if it's okay for it to use emojis. The answer is “Yes”, of course, as they're the most exciting part of the mostly unspoken text and world.
Want to know how exciting this game is? An in-game token you eventually find is just a speedhack: everything operates 30% faster. This item will feel like a small gift from God.
Probably the loneliest game I've played in some time, too, prepare for “Cast Away” vibes. You won't meet a single other person and you'll only hear a couple voices (one being text-to-speech) throughout the entire 50+ hours you're on the island. Your only company is the small variety of enemies you'll kill thousands of, and they're not particularly chatty. The combat is extremely shallow and boring, making cutting down enemies barely any different from cutting down trees.
The story gets interesting towards the end, I guess, but it'll require a lot of drive and self-hatred to get you there. There's no doubt in my mind it's not worth the wait.
It all works, at least. I experienced no big bugs. I was also able to catch up on a comedy podcast I've been putting off for a while, so that was nice.
The most tepid gaming experience you can ask for and way too much of it. I don't recommend Dysmantle.
2019
We, the people, have been clamoring for a dodo-based puzzle game. Is Dodo Peak the answer to our prayers?! No, it's not good. If while you're playing this you wonder, "Why does this feel like a mobile game?", that's because it is!
I actually like how this game is zero bullshit, you're just right into it. When you launch Dodo Peak, there's a brief loading screen, then immediately you're looking at all of the game's levels. No tutorial, no cutscenes, not even developer/publisher intro stuff. Welcome to the jungle.
The maps are sort of like Q*bert, you bounce around tiered tiles while objects and enemies get in your way. Every egg you collect creates a Snake-like length to your Dodo chain, making you more likely to be hit and lose. Every level will have three goals, one is always “Collect all Dodo eggs”, the other two are usually something like “Beat the level in under 20 seconds” and “Collect the Ruby” (gem hidden somewhere on the map).
“20 seconds”, obviously most levels are over with pretty fast, and usually they're piss easy. There are sixty levels and maybe nine of them will actually require you to think things through should you want to get all three stars in one shot. You don't have to do that, though: the goals are additive. So if you get the ruby on one playthrough, and on your next you speedrun the thing, you'll get all three stars combined. Those nine or so levels are pretty annoying, bizarre difficulty spikes, though there are definitely harder puzzles out there.
The game's biggest problem, aside from being either brain-rot easy or “Fuck this stupid dodo shit” hard, is enemies aren't in rigid patterns. You can play a level through twice and hopping enemies that were once in sync aren't anymore; yetis that charge in one direction may choose a totally different direction this time; boulders won't fall in the same places; some enemies are simply broken and do not move at all.
So you may devise a strategy that works perfectly well until an enemy halfway through it decides this time he's feeling spicy and wrecks your plan. Do you stick to the plan you had or do you think of something else? It doesn't really matter, it's ultimately up to the seemingly-randomized enemies. I do not believe this type of game needs an RNG element, it's pretty frustrating.
Also, I don't feel like the movement is super responsive. I never quite got used to what I'd describe as hardcoded lag.
They try and keep you hooked for longer than the brief campaign (you can beat this game in under two hours, easily... but do you want to?) with an Endless Mode and Weekly Challenges. I tried these and apparently I'm the 6th and 13th best, respectively, person in the WORLD at this game. No big deal, you're just reading a celebrity's review. They're alright, I guess it's cool they bothered, but you're not booting up Dodo Peak every week to see the new challenge.
There's also a store to buy to new dodos which offer different looks and speeds. You earn some by beating levels, others by doing challenges, or by buying them with the coins you collect in levels. There's a surprising amount of variety and I'm shocked they aren't selling these for real dollars (which would have been pretty sad, but unsurprising).
It was free on Epic and yet I still don't think this is worth anybody's time. Again, it's no surprise that it's a mobile game – I could easily see someone pulling out their phone, trying level 58 twice, sighing, closing the app, and only playing it again when they'd like to be distracted during a particularly brutal shit.
I do not recommend this game.
I actually like how this game is zero bullshit, you're just right into it. When you launch Dodo Peak, there's a brief loading screen, then immediately you're looking at all of the game's levels. No tutorial, no cutscenes, not even developer/publisher intro stuff. Welcome to the jungle.
The maps are sort of like Q*bert, you bounce around tiered tiles while objects and enemies get in your way. Every egg you collect creates a Snake-like length to your Dodo chain, making you more likely to be hit and lose. Every level will have three goals, one is always “Collect all Dodo eggs”, the other two are usually something like “Beat the level in under 20 seconds” and “Collect the Ruby” (gem hidden somewhere on the map).
“20 seconds”, obviously most levels are over with pretty fast, and usually they're piss easy. There are sixty levels and maybe nine of them will actually require you to think things through should you want to get all three stars in one shot. You don't have to do that, though: the goals are additive. So if you get the ruby on one playthrough, and on your next you speedrun the thing, you'll get all three stars combined. Those nine or so levels are pretty annoying, bizarre difficulty spikes, though there are definitely harder puzzles out there.
The game's biggest problem, aside from being either brain-rot easy or “Fuck this stupid dodo shit” hard, is enemies aren't in rigid patterns. You can play a level through twice and hopping enemies that were once in sync aren't anymore; yetis that charge in one direction may choose a totally different direction this time; boulders won't fall in the same places; some enemies are simply broken and do not move at all.
So you may devise a strategy that works perfectly well until an enemy halfway through it decides this time he's feeling spicy and wrecks your plan. Do you stick to the plan you had or do you think of something else? It doesn't really matter, it's ultimately up to the seemingly-randomized enemies. I do not believe this type of game needs an RNG element, it's pretty frustrating.
Also, I don't feel like the movement is super responsive. I never quite got used to what I'd describe as hardcoded lag.
They try and keep you hooked for longer than the brief campaign (you can beat this game in under two hours, easily... but do you want to?) with an Endless Mode and Weekly Challenges. I tried these and apparently I'm the 6th and 13th best, respectively, person in the WORLD at this game. No big deal, you're just reading a celebrity's review. They're alright, I guess it's cool they bothered, but you're not booting up Dodo Peak every week to see the new challenge.
There's also a store to buy to new dodos which offer different looks and speeds. You earn some by beating levels, others by doing challenges, or by buying them with the coins you collect in levels. There's a surprising amount of variety and I'm shocked they aren't selling these for real dollars (which would have been pretty sad, but unsurprising).
It was free on Epic and yet I still don't think this is worth anybody's time. Again, it's no surprise that it's a mobile game – I could easily see someone pulling out their phone, trying level 58 twice, sighing, closing the app, and only playing it again when they'd like to be distracted during a particularly brutal shit.
I do not recommend this game.
2012
Diablo III: In my opinion, this is a step up from Diablo II: Resurrected and actually has me sort of pumped to try out Diablo IV... in several years once it's a “complete” product and on sale. TL;DR at end.
(I haven't done everything there is to do in Diablo III and I plan to continue playing it, but I figured I've played enough to review it. No review is going to have information on every class, build, etc., unless they're a total psychopath.)
I got this as part of a bundle with D2:R for something like 7 bucks with the DLC included. I'll be waiting for something similar for Diablo IV.
As with D2:R, I played a Necromancer. Again, I like that it's even an option (though it is tied to DLC), and I think the class has more to “do” this time around.
In D2:R, I felt like I would walk into a room and while I could help my skeletons attack by firing off bone spears, the skellies did all the heavy lifting and my bone spears were just there to give me something to do.
In D3, my current Necro build has me using an ability that gives me “copies” of myself with very powerful bone spears. Now I'm the heavy hitter. Here, my skeletons are still present, but they have passive and active traits: passively, they aggro lesser enemies and dwindle the number attacking me; actively, they have abilities like the one I'm currently using, where with the press of a key they rush a target and freeze it in place, very nice for interrupting attacks. Play your cards right and you can completely stun-lock a boss for the entire fight, very nice against assholes who teleport to you and swing immediately.
Some things were streamlined and some things were expanded upon, and I think they balanced this well. For instance, you don't need to worry about how to choose your stats when you level up, they're just done for you, both stat points and what abilities are unlocked and when. I'm fine with this because in exchange, you'll get the option to use every ability whenever you want without resetting your points to try it, and every ability now has subcategories (like the previously mentioned “freeze” skeletons) that'll really widen your gameplay options.
Dying is no longer comically punishing, but the trade-off is you only get one potion with a 30 second cooldown. A better balance, I think.
It's still just dungeon after dungeon like Diablo fans apparently love, but now the hallways are opened up and you won't be getting stuck on your skeleton army anymore. What a concept!
Like D2:R, I don't care for the campaign at all. It's so wildly hollow, I will simply never understand how anyone could start to care about what that loon Deckard Cain is up to. The world is more like an empty dream than anything of substance. Diablo isn't scary or interesting and I know they'll be back to wreak havoc, or at least something close enough to Diablo will be. This world feels like it is stuck in a pointless, miserable loop and we should let it all burn. I just won't ever feel invested.
I never even finished the campaign because it's slow and dull. I played a bit of Act 1 before deciding to try out the Bounties mode, just to see what it was. Turns out, it's clearly the way the game is meant to be played. This game is a fast-paced, zero-brained, loot-farming simulator, and the Bounties mode finally admits that and is properly built around it. The entire game's map is opened up to you, all five Acts and every teleporter in them. You can teleport whenever you want to any other teleporter in the game. Each Act has five “bounties” for you to complete, these are usually like “kill the boss in the area” or “complete a cursed chest event in this room”. They're shallow, but so is Diablo, so.
Through this game mode, you'll see everything offered in the game quicker and you'll level up your character and fly through the difficulties faster (rather than having to play the entire game to get the next one, like in D2:R). Less slog, more action.
In addition to Bounties, there are Rifts (and Greater Rifts) for you to complete. These offer pretty great rewards and are a fun variant.
My first Diablo III season was Season 28, and Season 29 is right around the corner. These are free (I will never buy (another) season pass) and offer achievements that reward you with gear, in addition to a bit more content. It's nice to see a full game offering all the seasonal content for free, especially a game from Blizzard, who would have thought?
From what I remember (it's been awhile and I wasn't playing it, then), this game had a disappointing launch. I remember there being an Auction House where players were encouraged to spend in-game currency, in addition to real money, on gear. This has been gone for years, however, and so it didn't plague my game experience. It may have taken years, but I think Diablo III is a pretty good game to try out now. I played this one solo and enjoyed myself, something I don't think I can say for D2:R.
TL;DR I recommend Diablo III now, especially if you can get it on sale. The standard price for everything is $40 which is probably too expensive, but again, I got it for something like $7 when I was buying D2:R. I expected to like D2:R more, as that's the game all ARPG fans adore, but I think Diablo III is the far more sensible approach to the concept with its Bounties game mode and ability to play on harder difficulties right out of the gate.
(I haven't done everything there is to do in Diablo III and I plan to continue playing it, but I figured I've played enough to review it. No review is going to have information on every class, build, etc., unless they're a total psychopath.)
I got this as part of a bundle with D2:R for something like 7 bucks with the DLC included. I'll be waiting for something similar for Diablo IV.
As with D2:R, I played a Necromancer. Again, I like that it's even an option (though it is tied to DLC), and I think the class has more to “do” this time around.
In D2:R, I felt like I would walk into a room and while I could help my skeletons attack by firing off bone spears, the skellies did all the heavy lifting and my bone spears were just there to give me something to do.
In D3, my current Necro build has me using an ability that gives me “copies” of myself with very powerful bone spears. Now I'm the heavy hitter. Here, my skeletons are still present, but they have passive and active traits: passively, they aggro lesser enemies and dwindle the number attacking me; actively, they have abilities like the one I'm currently using, where with the press of a key they rush a target and freeze it in place, very nice for interrupting attacks. Play your cards right and you can completely stun-lock a boss for the entire fight, very nice against assholes who teleport to you and swing immediately.
Some things were streamlined and some things were expanded upon, and I think they balanced this well. For instance, you don't need to worry about how to choose your stats when you level up, they're just done for you, both stat points and what abilities are unlocked and when. I'm fine with this because in exchange, you'll get the option to use every ability whenever you want without resetting your points to try it, and every ability now has subcategories (like the previously mentioned “freeze” skeletons) that'll really widen your gameplay options.
Dying is no longer comically punishing, but the trade-off is you only get one potion with a 30 second cooldown. A better balance, I think.
It's still just dungeon after dungeon like Diablo fans apparently love, but now the hallways are opened up and you won't be getting stuck on your skeleton army anymore. What a concept!
Like D2:R, I don't care for the campaign at all. It's so wildly hollow, I will simply never understand how anyone could start to care about what that loon Deckard Cain is up to. The world is more like an empty dream than anything of substance. Diablo isn't scary or interesting and I know they'll be back to wreak havoc, or at least something close enough to Diablo will be. This world feels like it is stuck in a pointless, miserable loop and we should let it all burn. I just won't ever feel invested.
I never even finished the campaign because it's slow and dull. I played a bit of Act 1 before deciding to try out the Bounties mode, just to see what it was. Turns out, it's clearly the way the game is meant to be played. This game is a fast-paced, zero-brained, loot-farming simulator, and the Bounties mode finally admits that and is properly built around it. The entire game's map is opened up to you, all five Acts and every teleporter in them. You can teleport whenever you want to any other teleporter in the game. Each Act has five “bounties” for you to complete, these are usually like “kill the boss in the area” or “complete a cursed chest event in this room”. They're shallow, but so is Diablo, so.
Through this game mode, you'll see everything offered in the game quicker and you'll level up your character and fly through the difficulties faster (rather than having to play the entire game to get the next one, like in D2:R). Less slog, more action.
In addition to Bounties, there are Rifts (and Greater Rifts) for you to complete. These offer pretty great rewards and are a fun variant.
My first Diablo III season was Season 28, and Season 29 is right around the corner. These are free (I will never buy (another) season pass) and offer achievements that reward you with gear, in addition to a bit more content. It's nice to see a full game offering all the seasonal content for free, especially a game from Blizzard, who would have thought?
From what I remember (it's been awhile and I wasn't playing it, then), this game had a disappointing launch. I remember there being an Auction House where players were encouraged to spend in-game currency, in addition to real money, on gear. This has been gone for years, however, and so it didn't plague my game experience. It may have taken years, but I think Diablo III is a pretty good game to try out now. I played this one solo and enjoyed myself, something I don't think I can say for D2:R.
TL;DR I recommend Diablo III now, especially if you can get it on sale. The standard price for everything is $40 which is probably too expensive, but again, I got it for something like $7 when I was buying D2:R. I expected to like D2:R more, as that's the game all ARPG fans adore, but I think Diablo III is the far more sensible approach to the concept with its Bounties game mode and ability to play on harder difficulties right out of the gate.
Sadly, this game is better remembered than replayed. It Ain't Me intensifies
The Call of Duty with a lot of cool concepts, but is unfortunately still a Call of Duty. I'm glad Cold War brought this world and style back to the series and, I'd say, actually improved on what was established here in Black Ops.
There are few things more frustrating in life than when an idiotic enemy runs past your blind teammates and mag-dumps into you point blank. Even when they maintain a distance, the second they shoot you, Mason's aim goes from “special ops” to “special ed”. Your hip-fire is comically worthless for a guy sent to assassinate Castro.
There are levels tossed in here with no payoff other than explosions; Michael Bay should never be your inspiration.
Quite the Hollywood ensemble, here, Sam Worthington and Ed Harris do a great job. They hired Emmanuelle Chriqui and didn't even use her beautiful likeness? She got paid just to read numbers in a monotone voice, I'm very jealous of that paycheck.
Also, the character of Hudson (Ed Harris) is probably doing more beneficial work for the C.I.A.'s PR image than anything they've ever done before. He's a spook, but he seems like a good person?? Clearly a fictional tale.
Honestly, one of my favorite things about this game is the main menu: it's great for atmosphere to see you're strapped to a chair while a mysterious voice chastises you and demands answers. And should you struggle enough, you'll get up from that chair. Saunter around and play Zork, why don't you. I can't believe I enjoy this as much as I do, but there you have it.
For Call of Duty, this is interesting, but still pretty lousy. You play through an action movie, a somewhat enjoyable one, but not a very good one. And it is still, 13 years later, listed at $40 with $60 of DLC? Thanks for the laugh, Activision!
The Call of Duty with a lot of cool concepts, but is unfortunately still a Call of Duty. I'm glad Cold War brought this world and style back to the series and, I'd say, actually improved on what was established here in Black Ops.
There are few things more frustrating in life than when an idiotic enemy runs past your blind teammates and mag-dumps into you point blank. Even when they maintain a distance, the second they shoot you, Mason's aim goes from “special ops” to “special ed”. Your hip-fire is comically worthless for a guy sent to assassinate Castro.
There are levels tossed in here with no payoff other than explosions; Michael Bay should never be your inspiration.
Quite the Hollywood ensemble, here, Sam Worthington and Ed Harris do a great job. They hired Emmanuelle Chriqui and didn't even use her beautiful likeness? She got paid just to read numbers in a monotone voice, I'm very jealous of that paycheck.
Also, the character of Hudson (Ed Harris) is probably doing more beneficial work for the C.I.A.'s PR image than anything they've ever done before. He's a spook, but he seems like a good person?? Clearly a fictional tale.
Honestly, one of my favorite things about this game is the main menu: it's great for atmosphere to see you're strapped to a chair while a mysterious voice chastises you and demands answers. And should you struggle enough, you'll get up from that chair. Saunter around and play Zork, why don't you. I can't believe I enjoy this as much as I do, but there you have it.
For Call of Duty, this is interesting, but still pretty lousy. You play through an action movie, a somewhat enjoyable one, but not a very good one. And it is still, 13 years later, listed at $40 with $60 of DLC? Thanks for the laugh, Activision!
2020
Desperados III: A unique, difficult, and massive test of planning and patience with a pretty satisfying payoff when everything comes together. Should you like its esoteric concept, you'll find plenty of content here, as well.
In Desperados III, you are a crew of nefarious outlaws lead by Cooper, a man who is seeking out a powerhouse named Frank to duel and get revenge for his father. There'll be mistakes and misadventures, too. The “gang” is actually a duo to start, and along the way you'll find more tag-along rapscallions to aid in the revenge tale. While self-aware that it's cheesy, it's not very captivating; it's really only there as an excuse to get the characters to a new set piece with new challenges. It's fine.
Every character has varying abilities and they share similar traits, but even those shared traits are personalized. For instance, every character can drag bodies, but some drag them along the ground in a hunched position (slow, but sneaky) while others pick them up and walk (fast, but obvious). Hector can hold two bodies, even run with them, and better yet throw them up a floor or across a gap. They've all got a “distract” option, but while Cooper can toss a coin and get guards to look in a certain direction, Kate can throw a vial of perfume and temporarily blind anybody in the blast radius.
Everybody has a useful specialty, like McCoy with his sniping pistol, Hector with his elite-slaying axe, and Isabelle with her mind-control darts, etc. You've got a destination in mind with a lot of baddies in the way on the lookout for you, so there's plenty of scenarios where you're to utilize everybody's strengths to get through a sticky situation. You can pause the game with Showdown Mode, where time stops and you can commit everybody to a singular action when you press Enter.
I'd say this game is basically a very flashy puzzle that grows in difficulty as times goes on. Honestly, towards the end, it's wildly difficult. I played on Normal and still had levels that took over an hour, some even took two. Hard difficulty increases the number of guards and how fast they spot you once you enter their field of vision, I gave it a go but just found it frustrating. Normal was enough of a challenge for me.
The way the game gets difficult is by making increasingly tough guard patterns. You don't “have” to kill most of them to finish a level, but you'll want to, because fuck them. Towards the end, there are more “Long Coats” (guards only Hector can kill with a melee attack, otherwise they need to be shot, which is loud) and multiple guards are watching other guards. In the beginning, a few people may wander from the group, just begging to be slaughtered. In the end, you'll be throwing Kate's perfume and Cooper's coin in different distraction directions, then killing two other guards linked by Isabelle's dart ability and a third with Hector's axe, then try to move all three of those bodies into bushes before the coin/perfume guys figure out what happened right in front of them. It's a lot.
So I say “puzzle” because while there's definitely multiple ways to approach a situation, you can usually tell what the intended option(s) is/are. You can (and should) beat it all without alerting any reinforcements, this is definitely a stealth game.
Should you like the demo or sound of this, the good news is the game is packed with content. There are sixteen main levels (again, some took me multiple hours, so good luck on Hard) and they all have challenges built into them, like taking a different path or beating it without using someone's abilities, etc. Then there are fourteen challenge levels offered by a mysterious Baron (who is definitely voiced by Geralt, but for some reason I cannot confirm this anywhere). These levels play through the previous campaign levels, only now with minor level variations or character changes. They're considerably harder than normal levels.
There are three DLC missions that are $5 each, or $13 if you buy a season pass, and I think that's highway robbery. This game doesn't need a season pass, first off, and second the content doesn't really justify the price. There's far more value packed into the base game than in these missions, one of which is only a tweaked level from the original campaign.
Desperados III is a very solid game, provided you can handle a lot of trial and error. You will be quicksaving/loading like a madman, as you'll go to kill a guard you think is in the clear but sure enough some dude way too far away barely sees you slicing that throat, therefore changing your whole approach. If you don't have a lot of patience, I think this game isn't for you. If you're looking for something different, this definitely is, and I think beating a level here is an extremely rewarding experience.
In Desperados III, you are a crew of nefarious outlaws lead by Cooper, a man who is seeking out a powerhouse named Frank to duel and get revenge for his father. There'll be mistakes and misadventures, too. The “gang” is actually a duo to start, and along the way you'll find more tag-along rapscallions to aid in the revenge tale. While self-aware that it's cheesy, it's not very captivating; it's really only there as an excuse to get the characters to a new set piece with new challenges. It's fine.
Every character has varying abilities and they share similar traits, but even those shared traits are personalized. For instance, every character can drag bodies, but some drag them along the ground in a hunched position (slow, but sneaky) while others pick them up and walk (fast, but obvious). Hector can hold two bodies, even run with them, and better yet throw them up a floor or across a gap. They've all got a “distract” option, but while Cooper can toss a coin and get guards to look in a certain direction, Kate can throw a vial of perfume and temporarily blind anybody in the blast radius.
Everybody has a useful specialty, like McCoy with his sniping pistol, Hector with his elite-slaying axe, and Isabelle with her mind-control darts, etc. You've got a destination in mind with a lot of baddies in the way on the lookout for you, so there's plenty of scenarios where you're to utilize everybody's strengths to get through a sticky situation. You can pause the game with Showdown Mode, where time stops and you can commit everybody to a singular action when you press Enter.
I'd say this game is basically a very flashy puzzle that grows in difficulty as times goes on. Honestly, towards the end, it's wildly difficult. I played on Normal and still had levels that took over an hour, some even took two. Hard difficulty increases the number of guards and how fast they spot you once you enter their field of vision, I gave it a go but just found it frustrating. Normal was enough of a challenge for me.
The way the game gets difficult is by making increasingly tough guard patterns. You don't “have” to kill most of them to finish a level, but you'll want to, because fuck them. Towards the end, there are more “Long Coats” (guards only Hector can kill with a melee attack, otherwise they need to be shot, which is loud) and multiple guards are watching other guards. In the beginning, a few people may wander from the group, just begging to be slaughtered. In the end, you'll be throwing Kate's perfume and Cooper's coin in different distraction directions, then killing two other guards linked by Isabelle's dart ability and a third with Hector's axe, then try to move all three of those bodies into bushes before the coin/perfume guys figure out what happened right in front of them. It's a lot.
So I say “puzzle” because while there's definitely multiple ways to approach a situation, you can usually tell what the intended option(s) is/are. You can (and should) beat it all without alerting any reinforcements, this is definitely a stealth game.
Should you like the demo or sound of this, the good news is the game is packed with content. There are sixteen main levels (again, some took me multiple hours, so good luck on Hard) and they all have challenges built into them, like taking a different path or beating it without using someone's abilities, etc. Then there are fourteen challenge levels offered by a mysterious Baron (who is definitely voiced by Geralt, but for some reason I cannot confirm this anywhere). These levels play through the previous campaign levels, only now with minor level variations or character changes. They're considerably harder than normal levels.
There are three DLC missions that are $5 each, or $13 if you buy a season pass, and I think that's highway robbery. This game doesn't need a season pass, first off, and second the content doesn't really justify the price. There's far more value packed into the base game than in these missions, one of which is only a tweaked level from the original campaign.
Desperados III is a very solid game, provided you can handle a lot of trial and error. You will be quicksaving/loading like a madman, as you'll go to kill a guard you think is in the clear but sure enough some dude way too far away barely sees you slicing that throat, therefore changing your whole approach. If you don't have a lot of patience, I think this game isn't for you. If you're looking for something different, this definitely is, and I think beating a level here is an extremely rewarding experience.
To be honest, and I have the feeling I'll be crucified for this: I don't understand the love Diablo 2 has garnered over the years. The Diablo series managed to co-opt and narrow the term “ARPG” to mean an isometric, point-and-click game through its sheer popularity, and over twenty years later Diablo 2 is still considered the ARPG among many gamers. Blizzard gave Diablo 2 quite the tune up with Diablo II: Resurrected, but is the game still a “masterpiece” with a new paint job? TL;DR at end.
I got D2:R because I played Diablo IV's beta as a necromancer and enjoyed that a good bit. Necromancers are rarely offered as an option, so it felt fresh summoning an army out of recently-slain corpses. I figured D4's launch would suck (nailed it, though you don't have to be Nostradamus to know Blizzard has a failure streak to maintain) and I didn't want to pay $70 to wait for a game to be good. So I got D2:R (and 3, on sale as a combo) as I figured, “When people say “Diablo”, they mean Diablo 2. It's gotta be good.”
So, is it?
To sum up my thoughts: kind of, not really. Many games are important, defining moments of the medium and easily cement their place in history; the harder part is still remaining good – or even playable – years later. With the press of the 'G' key, the game immediately shifts over to the original audio/visuals and good lord, have things improved. More remasters need to offer this, if for nothing other than the five seconds you'll spend in the old graphics to know you were wise to buy the remaster.
I'd say Blizzard was able to breathe a lot of life into Diablo 2 thanks to hard work on the visuals, but it still plays like a very old game and I fail to see why this is considered one of the greats when most of it is a bland and repetitive snore. I'm pretty sure the only reason I had fun at all was because I played with a friend, but every game is improved with friends, so that's hardly a "pro" to me. Alone, D2:R is almost dreadful.
The story has excellently rendered cutscenes accompanying each of its five Acts, but you'll never care about what's going on. Diablo was an asshole but someone killed him, oh wait he's coming back to life, kill him again. That's the game. The world is a few varied landscapes depending on the Act but there's nothing to learn about it except through maybe “gossip” dialogue options of NPCs. That's fine for me: I don't need to know more, they already lost me and they're sure to lose you, too.
The visuals all look good with great textures and the animations clearly kept the “jerking” look of yore intentionally; all very solid. Again, you can go back and look at the old textures and sounds with one button press, then right back to the Resurrected look when you realize how awful that was.
The UI is pretty terrible and probably my least favorite part of the game's experience. Only two buttons are shown, your left and right mouse clicks, and you can look through a clunky menu or use the F-row of keys to swap between abilities. 'W' can be pressed to switch weapons instantly to a second set, which can have its own presets. I don't think there's any denying that this feels bizarrely limited and stiff to navigate. For some reason, the controller support is quite good, where they bump that number from two visible inputs to five, and you can hold a trigger down to see five more! This is huge!... but since I prefer playing on a mouse and keyboard, I'm stuck with the clunky shit, memorizing what each key from F1 through F8 does and whether its assigned to M1 or M2. Very disappointing. At least key remapping works well?
ARPGs, as now-defined by Diablo, never interested me much. I think they're pretty boring. Your abilities rarely change and while boss fights may be exciting changes of pace, the game is almost always going to be a grind. By design you're supposed to walk into a room and, through basically muscle memory, wipe the whole place out, probably without opening your eyes. You will then do this several hundred times with little to no variety. Because your inputs are so miserable, having to actually swap between abilities on the fly is a nuisance and the developers seem to know this, so it's walk in, slaughter, move on.
To overly simplify, as I see it, there's really only two styles of gameplay: direct and summoners. Barbarians, Amazons, etc. are direct: they'll attack each enemy directly with their melee or ranged weapon and aside from maybe your slave-- I mean “hired help”, you're doing all the damage on your own. Necromancers and druids are summoners: they spawn an army to do their bidding for them and are largely managerial, making sure their wolves or their skeletons are full in number. Occasionally, they chip in with melee or ranged attacks, too, but their power comes from their numbers.
Summoners are insanely strong. I played as a necromancer while my buddy played as a druid, and together we just ran through most of this game while our combined armies tore shit up. This made the game pretty boring, honestly. Only Diablo and his brother, Baal, forced us to actually try and play differently. Two boss fights across god knows how many hours, that's it. Most of this game played itself for us.
Direct fighters are laborious. I've played a few hours as an Amazon, and while it's nice to actually have a direct role in the death of my enemies, now it's all on me. Everything has slowed way down, and since I've beaten the game as a necromancer, I know exactly how much more I have to go and it seems like quite the painful endeavor without someone else there acting as a summoner. It's less “boring”, I suppose, but not in a very good way. I doubt I'll finish as my Amazon.
You ever have a friend recommend you a TV show with the addendum, “Oh, the first season sucks, you gotta get through it because the second is where it gets good!”? You're probably not watching that show, right? People do that with games, too, of course: “Final Fantasy XIII gets good twenty/thirty hours in.” Diablo 2 is the first time I've ever seen a game really start to get good only after you've beaten the entire thing and can go through again on Nightmare difficulty.
Once beaten, you can just start the whole thing over again immediately as your same character. You keep all your gear and whatever is in your storage box. In the starting zone for the second time, my buddy and I finally started getting good loot. Maybe it was because we didn't play as Ladder characters, but we rarely ever saw yellow gear on Normal, it was now on Nightmare that we finally got a bit more of a challenge (as summoners, mind you) and loot to accompany the added trouble.
I have the ball rolling on that slightly better Nightmare playthrough, but I'm not sure I'll finish. I feel comfortable reviewing the game here. Finishing that Amazon's playthrough is even less likely. How can I possibly recommend a game to someone when it takes an entire playthrough to start feeling something from it? Most of my first playthrough felt like I was atrophying and the game ran on autopilot.
Maybe the real Diablo was the sheer number of times we had to teleport back to base to sell all of our junk along the way.
TL;DR This game isn't very fun to me, regardless of your class's play style. I like the variety offered (necromancers, hell yeah), but really it boils down to just two styles and they both have issues. As far as “classics you need to try” go, this isn't one of them.
Also, it has been two years and yet if you don't cap your frame rate in the settings, D2:R will try to set your computer on fire. Why hasn't Blizzard patched this? Other than attempting to melt your hardware, this is a pretty good remaster of a boring game.
I got D2:R because I played Diablo IV's beta as a necromancer and enjoyed that a good bit. Necromancers are rarely offered as an option, so it felt fresh summoning an army out of recently-slain corpses. I figured D4's launch would suck (nailed it, though you don't have to be Nostradamus to know Blizzard has a failure streak to maintain) and I didn't want to pay $70 to wait for a game to be good. So I got D2:R (and 3, on sale as a combo) as I figured, “When people say “Diablo”, they mean Diablo 2. It's gotta be good.”
So, is it?
To sum up my thoughts: kind of, not really. Many games are important, defining moments of the medium and easily cement their place in history; the harder part is still remaining good – or even playable – years later. With the press of the 'G' key, the game immediately shifts over to the original audio/visuals and good lord, have things improved. More remasters need to offer this, if for nothing other than the five seconds you'll spend in the old graphics to know you were wise to buy the remaster.
I'd say Blizzard was able to breathe a lot of life into Diablo 2 thanks to hard work on the visuals, but it still plays like a very old game and I fail to see why this is considered one of the greats when most of it is a bland and repetitive snore. I'm pretty sure the only reason I had fun at all was because I played with a friend, but every game is improved with friends, so that's hardly a "pro" to me. Alone, D2:R is almost dreadful.
The story has excellently rendered cutscenes accompanying each of its five Acts, but you'll never care about what's going on. Diablo was an asshole but someone killed him, oh wait he's coming back to life, kill him again. That's the game. The world is a few varied landscapes depending on the Act but there's nothing to learn about it except through maybe “gossip” dialogue options of NPCs. That's fine for me: I don't need to know more, they already lost me and they're sure to lose you, too.
The visuals all look good with great textures and the animations clearly kept the “jerking” look of yore intentionally; all very solid. Again, you can go back and look at the old textures and sounds with one button press, then right back to the Resurrected look when you realize how awful that was.
The UI is pretty terrible and probably my least favorite part of the game's experience. Only two buttons are shown, your left and right mouse clicks, and you can look through a clunky menu or use the F-row of keys to swap between abilities. 'W' can be pressed to switch weapons instantly to a second set, which can have its own presets. I don't think there's any denying that this feels bizarrely limited and stiff to navigate. For some reason, the controller support is quite good, where they bump that number from two visible inputs to five, and you can hold a trigger down to see five more! This is huge!... but since I prefer playing on a mouse and keyboard, I'm stuck with the clunky shit, memorizing what each key from F1 through F8 does and whether its assigned to M1 or M2. Very disappointing. At least key remapping works well?
ARPGs, as now-defined by Diablo, never interested me much. I think they're pretty boring. Your abilities rarely change and while boss fights may be exciting changes of pace, the game is almost always going to be a grind. By design you're supposed to walk into a room and, through basically muscle memory, wipe the whole place out, probably without opening your eyes. You will then do this several hundred times with little to no variety. Because your inputs are so miserable, having to actually swap between abilities on the fly is a nuisance and the developers seem to know this, so it's walk in, slaughter, move on.
To overly simplify, as I see it, there's really only two styles of gameplay: direct and summoners. Barbarians, Amazons, etc. are direct: they'll attack each enemy directly with their melee or ranged weapon and aside from maybe your slave-- I mean “hired help”, you're doing all the damage on your own. Necromancers and druids are summoners: they spawn an army to do their bidding for them and are largely managerial, making sure their wolves or their skeletons are full in number. Occasionally, they chip in with melee or ranged attacks, too, but their power comes from their numbers.
Summoners are insanely strong. I played as a necromancer while my buddy played as a druid, and together we just ran through most of this game while our combined armies tore shit up. This made the game pretty boring, honestly. Only Diablo and his brother, Baal, forced us to actually try and play differently. Two boss fights across god knows how many hours, that's it. Most of this game played itself for us.
Direct fighters are laborious. I've played a few hours as an Amazon, and while it's nice to actually have a direct role in the death of my enemies, now it's all on me. Everything has slowed way down, and since I've beaten the game as a necromancer, I know exactly how much more I have to go and it seems like quite the painful endeavor without someone else there acting as a summoner. It's less “boring”, I suppose, but not in a very good way. I doubt I'll finish as my Amazon.
You ever have a friend recommend you a TV show with the addendum, “Oh, the first season sucks, you gotta get through it because the second is where it gets good!”? You're probably not watching that show, right? People do that with games, too, of course: “Final Fantasy XIII gets good twenty/thirty hours in.” Diablo 2 is the first time I've ever seen a game really start to get good only after you've beaten the entire thing and can go through again on Nightmare difficulty.
Once beaten, you can just start the whole thing over again immediately as your same character. You keep all your gear and whatever is in your storage box. In the starting zone for the second time, my buddy and I finally started getting good loot. Maybe it was because we didn't play as Ladder characters, but we rarely ever saw yellow gear on Normal, it was now on Nightmare that we finally got a bit more of a challenge (as summoners, mind you) and loot to accompany the added trouble.
I have the ball rolling on that slightly better Nightmare playthrough, but I'm not sure I'll finish. I feel comfortable reviewing the game here. Finishing that Amazon's playthrough is even less likely. How can I possibly recommend a game to someone when it takes an entire playthrough to start feeling something from it? Most of my first playthrough felt like I was atrophying and the game ran on autopilot.
Maybe the real Diablo was the sheer number of times we had to teleport back to base to sell all of our junk along the way.
TL;DR This game isn't very fun to me, regardless of your class's play style. I like the variety offered (necromancers, hell yeah), but really it boils down to just two styles and they both have issues. As far as “classics you need to try” go, this isn't one of them.
Also, it has been two years and yet if you don't cap your frame rate in the settings, D2:R will try to set your computer on fire. Why hasn't Blizzard patched this? Other than attempting to melt your hardware, this is a pretty good remaster of a boring game.
2023
For how long can you find enjoyment in mashing M1 aimed at zombie heads, their unflinching face rebounding to gladly take another swing until they die and you repeat the process? If your answer is, “Forever, I love it!” then Dead Island 2 is your game, but also consider seeking help.
How many more of these games does humanity need? Sprawling maps that are a chore to get through, littered with uninteresting enemies (is there anything more textbook “boring” than zombies?) and painfully annoying “friends” you hope die, on a quest nobody will ever come close to caring about? I told myself I was going to try and actually beat this one, but it's just not worth the time nor effort. Developers need to stop thinking “open-world with light RPG elements (and crafting!)” is a guaranteed masterpiece. I simply cannot imagine playing this, LOVING it, then getting excited to... what, play Forspoken next? Times are grim.
Dead Island 2's biggest strengths are the bits you interact with the world in a Breath of the Wild-esque fashion and its performance. Seeing a hanging live wire and water jugs nearby, knowing you could make a nice, spicy puddle for the idiotic zombies to die in. I liked tossing bait into a corrosive pool, the undead blindly following the scent to their green-coated death. See a crowd near barrels? Toss a pipebomb at them, etc. It works well, but let's face it: it's been done before and isn't very exciting.
I played on Ultra/High and the game ran smoothly, and with no Nvidia DLSS as an option, I found that pretty surprising. The game also looks quite good, details like zombie facial bones breaking and skin tearing where you hit are impressive.
I ran into a bug where I couldn't attack at all, though, and either quitting to the main menu or letting zombies kill me fixed it. This happened multiple times and, shockingly, sucked every time it did.
I don't think any of the player character options were very good, but I chose Amy and I'm glad I did. Her voice actress was good and her character motivation of “I have to get to the Paralympics” certainly isn't something you see every day. It's different and kinda nice, but it isn't selling this game. It didn't keep me around.
When I was younger, I would look at these games and just think they're boring and move on, but now I cannot help but feel like these are such a colossal waste; how many man-hours were spent on just suitcases here? Percentages of which loots, designing their various styles, hand-placing them around the huge map? All in the service of Dead Island 2, a game I don't think I could be paid to finish.
Save your time and money, these gluttonous projects just need to die.
How many more of these games does humanity need? Sprawling maps that are a chore to get through, littered with uninteresting enemies (is there anything more textbook “boring” than zombies?) and painfully annoying “friends” you hope die, on a quest nobody will ever come close to caring about? I told myself I was going to try and actually beat this one, but it's just not worth the time nor effort. Developers need to stop thinking “open-world with light RPG elements (and crafting!)” is a guaranteed masterpiece. I simply cannot imagine playing this, LOVING it, then getting excited to... what, play Forspoken next? Times are grim.
Dead Island 2's biggest strengths are the bits you interact with the world in a Breath of the Wild-esque fashion and its performance. Seeing a hanging live wire and water jugs nearby, knowing you could make a nice, spicy puddle for the idiotic zombies to die in. I liked tossing bait into a corrosive pool, the undead blindly following the scent to their green-coated death. See a crowd near barrels? Toss a pipebomb at them, etc. It works well, but let's face it: it's been done before and isn't very exciting.
I played on Ultra/High and the game ran smoothly, and with no Nvidia DLSS as an option, I found that pretty surprising. The game also looks quite good, details like zombie facial bones breaking and skin tearing where you hit are impressive.
I ran into a bug where I couldn't attack at all, though, and either quitting to the main menu or letting zombies kill me fixed it. This happened multiple times and, shockingly, sucked every time it did.
I don't think any of the player character options were very good, but I chose Amy and I'm glad I did. Her voice actress was good and her character motivation of “I have to get to the Paralympics” certainly isn't something you see every day. It's different and kinda nice, but it isn't selling this game. It didn't keep me around.
When I was younger, I would look at these games and just think they're boring and move on, but now I cannot help but feel like these are such a colossal waste; how many man-hours were spent on just suitcases here? Percentages of which loots, designing their various styles, hand-placing them around the huge map? All in the service of Dead Island 2, a game I don't think I could be paid to finish.
Save your time and money, these gluttonous projects just need to die.
2022
Offensively bad due to an AI that renders a pretty cool concept fever-dreamish and painful, Serial Cleaners sucks harder than your blood-coated vacuum.
The story and characters are half baked at absolute best. The plot is "Let's reminisce!"; that's boring, but fine. Nobody is remotely likable here. Half are caricatures that are designed to annoy you (mission accomplished: Vip3r is so leet! TEE-TEE-WHY-ELL!) or stolen from the movie "Fargo". The other half are forgettable voids with stiff voice acting.
Each character requiring a slightly varied play style is a good concept, but none of them are fun to actually play as except for Leti, as she's the only one who doesn't feel like an obese smoker being asked to jog. Leti can hop small obstacles or even tall fences, and considering everyone's job requirements, it's absurd she's the only one who can actually move like a human being.
You're in the world of Serial Cleaners, nothing close to reality: if a cop sees you dragging a corpse, all you need to do is run your sluggish ass over to a doorway and mash 'E' so the slowly opening door knocks the wind out of them. This'll give you some breathing room and hopefully get you away, and in 10 seconds, they'll completely forget that even happened. No where near a door? Then you're fucked. Your only alternative is throwing “large evidence” at them (if, by some miracle, you're near some) and the throwing system sucks. Enjoy getting smacked (or, more annoyingly, shot) and restarting to whenever you last saved at your car. It doesn't matter how long ago that was, you'll be frustrated, guaranteed.
I quit this shit on the mission where you need to drag bodies out of an arcade and yet they slapped a cop patrolling right outside the only doors you can drag bodies through. Awful design decision. I obviously used the “door slam” trick as much as possible, but that was served stale. When that stupid trick failed me enough times because the doors wouldn't respond to my input or the cops shot me from a safe distance, I gave up. Good riddance.
Why does turning off the lights have zero affect on enemy vision? Nobody knows. It's only a stealth game!
This sucks. Avoid at all cost.
The story and characters are half baked at absolute best. The plot is "Let's reminisce!"; that's boring, but fine. Nobody is remotely likable here. Half are caricatures that are designed to annoy you (mission accomplished: Vip3r is so leet! TEE-TEE-WHY-ELL!) or stolen from the movie "Fargo". The other half are forgettable voids with stiff voice acting.
Each character requiring a slightly varied play style is a good concept, but none of them are fun to actually play as except for Leti, as she's the only one who doesn't feel like an obese smoker being asked to jog. Leti can hop small obstacles or even tall fences, and considering everyone's job requirements, it's absurd she's the only one who can actually move like a human being.
You're in the world of Serial Cleaners, nothing close to reality: if a cop sees you dragging a corpse, all you need to do is run your sluggish ass over to a doorway and mash 'E' so the slowly opening door knocks the wind out of them. This'll give you some breathing room and hopefully get you away, and in 10 seconds, they'll completely forget that even happened. No where near a door? Then you're fucked. Your only alternative is throwing “large evidence” at them (if, by some miracle, you're near some) and the throwing system sucks. Enjoy getting smacked (or, more annoyingly, shot) and restarting to whenever you last saved at your car. It doesn't matter how long ago that was, you'll be frustrated, guaranteed.
I quit this shit on the mission where you need to drag bodies out of an arcade and yet they slapped a cop patrolling right outside the only doors you can drag bodies through. Awful design decision. I obviously used the “door slam” trick as much as possible, but that was served stale. When that stupid trick failed me enough times because the doors wouldn't respond to my input or the cops shot me from a safe distance, I gave up. Good riddance.
Why does turning off the lights have zero affect on enemy vision? Nobody knows. It's only a stealth game!
This sucks. Avoid at all cost.
2019
Onimusha: Warlords: A short, serviceable, and somewhat fun ride. An unabashed ninja knockoff of Resident Evil, but Onimusha has enough going for it that you may want to check it out. It's only like three or four hours long, though, and don't expect total gold.
You are Samanosuke, who is apparently just some guy who's here and not a samurai (despite dressing like one), and you'll be leading this theatrical affair. All the characters went for ham, but you're the hammiest of them all! You'll find a few melee weapons that can all be upgraded and a couple ranged weapons that cannot be. It doesn't matter, they're almost completely worthless. Every new melee weapon means a new magic ability and attack pattern. You're never really forced to use any particular blade, so whatever suits your style is fair game.
Samanosuke wants to save Princess Yuri and her adopted brother from demons who are running rampant thanks to Nobunaga, some asshole leading an army. Nobunaga died, actually, and made a deal with some demons so he could come back and finish what he started. They think he's very powerful and will be useful in obtaining them lots o' sacrifices. He must be quite the charmer!
There's also Kaede, the female equivalent of Samanosuke's “just some guy who's here”. You'll play as her a couple times, but her segments are pretty pointless dashes; she doesn't have the tool Samanosuke does to regain health on her own and she can't acquire demon souls for upgrades, rendering her combat pointless. She's fast, though, so she can easily zip by foes; just run from A to B, grab X, then sprint to C. This remaster does include comical breast physics. Sorry, Kaede, you deserved better.
Combat is pretty simple, there's only two attack buttons: normal and magic. Switch melee weapons with the right trigger, ranged weapons with the left. The left bumper blocks, the right bumper gets Samanosuke ready to strafe and dodge attacks (with ranged, this is 'lock on', too). On paper, it's all pretty good.
In practice, the combat is pretty stiff stuff. Samanosuke cannot break his attack animations to block and you just have to memorize (or guess) which attacks can be blocked at all. Then if you can block it, should they follow it up with a second attack, there's a chance you're locked into a “recoil” where you've got no choice but to get hit by the followup. It's hard to find a good flow.
Dodging, then? Well, only if there's room to do it, which can be infrequent. Again, you'll just have to memorize some of these attacks and hope there's room to dodge the overhead swing before blocking (or dodging again) the followup spin. Typing it out, I know I sound like a whiner, but trust me: it's a stiff system and you'll get extra pissed when you have to fight in a room where the camera leaps around on you, fucking with your movement inputs.
I'm pretty sure I was parrying or something, every so often -- but the game never tells you anything re: combat, so I don't know what that was.
You won't really give a shit about the story or characters because again, it's comically hammy, so you're really only here for the combat and puzzles.
I think the combat “works” but certainly isn't something I'd ever replay the game for, it's not Devil May Cry or anything (though, supposedly, a bug in this game inspired DMC and its aerial combat. Kinda neat).
The puzzles? They're fine, too. Only one is memorable to me, a sliding block puzzle where you've gotta beat the clock or Samanosuke drowns. It did its job and was pretty stressful.
It's fine. For its time, maybe pretty cool to see, but now? Well, it's got some charm. I kind of recommend it: it's probably worth seeing if you like Resident Evil's style, but it doesn't need to be on the top of anybody's list.
Despite never owning a PS2 growing up, I have a distinct memory of Nobunaga getting that arrow in his neck (in the opening cutscene) and it freaking me the fuck out. I'll never know how I saw this.
From what I've read, the sequels actually only get better and are pretty ambitious in how they don't stick to a set formula. I'm interested enough to try out 2 and 3 someday, I'll toss them on the backlog.
You are Samanosuke, who is apparently just some guy who's here and not a samurai (despite dressing like one), and you'll be leading this theatrical affair. All the characters went for ham, but you're the hammiest of them all! You'll find a few melee weapons that can all be upgraded and a couple ranged weapons that cannot be. It doesn't matter, they're almost completely worthless. Every new melee weapon means a new magic ability and attack pattern. You're never really forced to use any particular blade, so whatever suits your style is fair game.
Samanosuke wants to save Princess Yuri and her adopted brother from demons who are running rampant thanks to Nobunaga, some asshole leading an army. Nobunaga died, actually, and made a deal with some demons so he could come back and finish what he started. They think he's very powerful and will be useful in obtaining them lots o' sacrifices. He must be quite the charmer!
There's also Kaede, the female equivalent of Samanosuke's “just some guy who's here”. You'll play as her a couple times, but her segments are pretty pointless dashes; she doesn't have the tool Samanosuke does to regain health on her own and she can't acquire demon souls for upgrades, rendering her combat pointless. She's fast, though, so she can easily zip by foes; just run from A to B, grab X, then sprint to C. This remaster does include comical breast physics. Sorry, Kaede, you deserved better.
Combat is pretty simple, there's only two attack buttons: normal and magic. Switch melee weapons with the right trigger, ranged weapons with the left. The left bumper blocks, the right bumper gets Samanosuke ready to strafe and dodge attacks (with ranged, this is 'lock on', too). On paper, it's all pretty good.
In practice, the combat is pretty stiff stuff. Samanosuke cannot break his attack animations to block and you just have to memorize (or guess) which attacks can be blocked at all. Then if you can block it, should they follow it up with a second attack, there's a chance you're locked into a “recoil” where you've got no choice but to get hit by the followup. It's hard to find a good flow.
Dodging, then? Well, only if there's room to do it, which can be infrequent. Again, you'll just have to memorize some of these attacks and hope there's room to dodge the overhead swing before blocking (or dodging again) the followup spin. Typing it out, I know I sound like a whiner, but trust me: it's a stiff system and you'll get extra pissed when you have to fight in a room where the camera leaps around on you, fucking with your movement inputs.
I'm pretty sure I was parrying or something, every so often -- but the game never tells you anything re: combat, so I don't know what that was.
You won't really give a shit about the story or characters because again, it's comically hammy, so you're really only here for the combat and puzzles.
I think the combat “works” but certainly isn't something I'd ever replay the game for, it's not Devil May Cry or anything (though, supposedly, a bug in this game inspired DMC and its aerial combat. Kinda neat).
The puzzles? They're fine, too. Only one is memorable to me, a sliding block puzzle where you've gotta beat the clock or Samanosuke drowns. It did its job and was pretty stressful.
It's fine. For its time, maybe pretty cool to see, but now? Well, it's got some charm. I kind of recommend it: it's probably worth seeing if you like Resident Evil's style, but it doesn't need to be on the top of anybody's list.
Despite never owning a PS2 growing up, I have a distinct memory of Nobunaga getting that arrow in his neck (in the opening cutscene) and it freaking me the fuck out. I'll never know how I saw this.
From what I've read, the sequels actually only get better and are pretty ambitious in how they don't stick to a set formula. I'm interested enough to try out 2 and 3 someday, I'll toss them on the backlog.
2018
The Hex: A love letter to (and some critique of) video games, a story that simply cannot be told in any other medium. There are hits and misses here, but there's no denying Daniel Mullins is quite the creative... and he needs help ending his games.
The Hex is a lot of things in one, I guess I'd describe it as a meta-narrative puzzler at its core. The “meta” and “puzzle” parts are pretty solid (though “puzzle” gets too absurd), but the “narrative” could use some work.
For meta, expect references galore. There's direct references to older games like Mario, Sonic, and even Tapper, and then some to newer games like Hotline Miami and PUBG. A pompous developer makes light of crunch culture, you'll see a Twitch chat and Steam reviews while you play, and GameShark-like cheat codes will help you even the odds. You, the player, will be referenced and spoken to directly. This is clearly a favorite concept for Daniel, I think he's 3 for 3 with this.
For puzzles, there's a few layers here. There are plenty of puzzles in the game to solve, including ones that'll have you using your cursor on screen to block lights as though it was a physical hand. Plenty of this sorts of stuff. But linking back to “meta”, if you want to know how far the rabbit hole goes with The Hex, you need to download and play an entirely different game (on Steam) just to find codes that work here. It's ambitious, but I think it's also absurd. I downloaded that other game but then decided I'm not going through the rigamarole, thank god for YouTube. This should be reined in a bit.
I found the narrative to be the least interesting part. Since I don't want to spoil anything, I'll say obviously this game is far more than its Steam page says. Starting with the easy surface stuff, I wasn't super interested in any story to keep me going, more so just wondering what the next gameplay change or meta reference would be. You can go way, way down in the story behind the scenes, and after reading up on it a bit I still don't care very much. It barely gripped me while I played the game, so it's not likely to grip me afterwards.
The ending bit with the walking simulator was a total drag. The voiceover sucks and obviously that's the intent, but knowing I'm not supposed to like what I'm experiencing doesn't help me all too much in these moments. So for the game to just slow way down before an ending I don't care about? I don't know, just not a very strong exit, here. As previously mentioned, I felt this with other games by Daniel Mullins: I don't remember much of Pony Island's ending except for not liking it, and Inscryption goes into this fourth wall-break shit even deeper for a longer time. Really, this may be my favorite final act of any of his games, but I don't like it. So.
The Hex is very interesting in many ways. This kind of game is more of a mystery than most are willing to delve into; layers upon layers and even a companion-piece game is needed to get a semblance of a final picture. You can read on its Steam discussions how far down this whole thing really goes. For me, I simply wasn't hooked enough to get that absorbed.
Check out The Hex if you love games, especially light horror ones that play with your head a bit. I guarantee it's not like anything else you've played, but it's up to you to decide if that's good or bad. I'm still not totally sure, but Daniel? Keep making games, please.
The Hex is a lot of things in one, I guess I'd describe it as a meta-narrative puzzler at its core. The “meta” and “puzzle” parts are pretty solid (though “puzzle” gets too absurd), but the “narrative” could use some work.
For meta, expect references galore. There's direct references to older games like Mario, Sonic, and even Tapper, and then some to newer games like Hotline Miami and PUBG. A pompous developer makes light of crunch culture, you'll see a Twitch chat and Steam reviews while you play, and GameShark-like cheat codes will help you even the odds. You, the player, will be referenced and spoken to directly. This is clearly a favorite concept for Daniel, I think he's 3 for 3 with this.
For puzzles, there's a few layers here. There are plenty of puzzles in the game to solve, including ones that'll have you using your cursor on screen to block lights as though it was a physical hand. Plenty of this sorts of stuff. But linking back to “meta”, if you want to know how far the rabbit hole goes with The Hex, you need to download and play an entirely different game (on Steam) just to find codes that work here. It's ambitious, but I think it's also absurd. I downloaded that other game but then decided I'm not going through the rigamarole, thank god for YouTube. This should be reined in a bit.
I found the narrative to be the least interesting part. Since I don't want to spoil anything, I'll say obviously this game is far more than its Steam page says. Starting with the easy surface stuff, I wasn't super interested in any story to keep me going, more so just wondering what the next gameplay change or meta reference would be. You can go way, way down in the story behind the scenes, and after reading up on it a bit I still don't care very much. It barely gripped me while I played the game, so it's not likely to grip me afterwards.
The ending bit with the walking simulator was a total drag. The voiceover sucks and obviously that's the intent, but knowing I'm not supposed to like what I'm experiencing doesn't help me all too much in these moments. So for the game to just slow way down before an ending I don't care about? I don't know, just not a very strong exit, here. As previously mentioned, I felt this with other games by Daniel Mullins: I don't remember much of Pony Island's ending except for not liking it, and Inscryption goes into this fourth wall-break shit even deeper for a longer time. Really, this may be my favorite final act of any of his games, but I don't like it. So.
The Hex is very interesting in many ways. This kind of game is more of a mystery than most are willing to delve into; layers upon layers and even a companion-piece game is needed to get a semblance of a final picture. You can read on its Steam discussions how far down this whole thing really goes. For me, I simply wasn't hooked enough to get that absorbed.
Check out The Hex if you love games, especially light horror ones that play with your head a bit. I guarantee it's not like anything else you've played, but it's up to you to decide if that's good or bad. I'm still not totally sure, but Daniel? Keep making games, please.
It's an interesting interpretation, showing dementia's awful progression and finality. It really is a nightmare that's hard to conceive.
Kind of painful to play at times with the lights flickering so often. I get this isn't supposed to be "fun", per se, but that doesn't mean it has to be quite so violent on the eyes.
I really liked the ending, I learned a new, very interesting thing about dementia and this utilizes the medium very well to show it. Great stuff.
Less a "game" and more an interactive short film, I'd say. It's hard to rate it, but overall I think I somewhat enjoyed what was offered here.
If you've got GZDoom ready to go, try it out, but if not? Probably not worth the download (unlike My House, which definitely is).
Kind of painful to play at times with the lights flickering so often. I get this isn't supposed to be "fun", per se, but that doesn't mean it has to be quite so violent on the eyes.
I really liked the ending, I learned a new, very interesting thing about dementia and this utilizes the medium very well to show it. Great stuff.
Less a "game" and more an interactive short film, I'd say. It's hard to rate it, but overall I think I somewhat enjoyed what was offered here.
If you've got GZDoom ready to go, try it out, but if not? Probably not worth the download (unlike My House, which definitely is).
2022
There are five floating islands. They each have a core that needs to be activated. Unite them back together because harmony is swell. They are guarded by assholes. You have a sword. This is Islets.
I'm gonna keep this short and not-so-sweet because I really just want to move on and forget Islets. For a while it's perfectly serviceable, but it probably should have only been four islands because it just starts to drag. If you absolutely NEED to play every Metroidvania you come across, I'll say you'll find worse games than this (Ghost Song comes to mind), but otherwise this should not be played. It's very derivative; the best comparison I think I can make is that it's like Hollow Knight without the soul.
Just check the screenshots on Steam and you'll see you've probably already played this game in everything but name. It's a middling Metroidvania with some bullet hell segments. It'll take you about seven hours to 100% (on Normal), and for its final half-hour stretch, you'll pray you have a stroke. It won't be showing you anything you haven't seen before, and on Normal every boss will take you one or two tries. I really should have been reading “Dune” instead.
I think I could drop down to one and a half stars, easily, but I'm going with two only because I think this was made almost entirely by one guy (and the music by his brother). I thought it was competently made (never ran into bugs, game looked okay, etc.) and I think my man Kyle Thompson is pretty good at the behind the scenes work. He's working on another game that I've added to my Steam Wishlist because I'm curious, now; I feel like Islets showed he has potential but just wasn't there yet with this one. Maybe Crypt Custodian will be better? I genuinely hope so.
I really do applaud the effort, I'm sure getting this made was no easy task, but just by reducing the scope a bit I think this would have landed so much better for me. But, then again, I'm seemingly in a tiny minority: 96% of reviews are positive. Congrats, Kyle.
I don't recommend Islets.
I'm gonna keep this short and not-so-sweet because I really just want to move on and forget Islets. For a while it's perfectly serviceable, but it probably should have only been four islands because it just starts to drag. If you absolutely NEED to play every Metroidvania you come across, I'll say you'll find worse games than this (Ghost Song comes to mind), but otherwise this should not be played. It's very derivative; the best comparison I think I can make is that it's like Hollow Knight without the soul.
Just check the screenshots on Steam and you'll see you've probably already played this game in everything but name. It's a middling Metroidvania with some bullet hell segments. It'll take you about seven hours to 100% (on Normal), and for its final half-hour stretch, you'll pray you have a stroke. It won't be showing you anything you haven't seen before, and on Normal every boss will take you one or two tries. I really should have been reading “Dune” instead.
I think I could drop down to one and a half stars, easily, but I'm going with two only because I think this was made almost entirely by one guy (and the music by his brother). I thought it was competently made (never ran into bugs, game looked okay, etc.) and I think my man Kyle Thompson is pretty good at the behind the scenes work. He's working on another game that I've added to my Steam Wishlist because I'm curious, now; I feel like Islets showed he has potential but just wasn't there yet with this one. Maybe Crypt Custodian will be better? I genuinely hope so.
I really do applaud the effort, I'm sure getting this made was no easy task, but just by reducing the scope a bit I think this would have landed so much better for me. But, then again, I'm seemingly in a tiny minority: 96% of reviews are positive. Congrats, Kyle.
I don't recommend Islets.
2023
Dredge: A great sense of atmosphere and near-barren gameplay creates a world you're happy to be in, but wish there was more to do.
In Dredge, it'll live up to its name as you dredge up fish, wreckage, and hidden treasures out of the accursed sea. The world has been drowned in a nightly fog determined to drive you insane and feed you to the grotesque, abominable variations of oceanic creatures that're becoming more and more frequent. Something is very wrong with this area and you're waking up in it as a fresh amnesiac. Who are you? What caused your memory lapse? What's happening to this place?
You'll zip around a small world in a boat whose hardware and storage space you incrementally upgrade. Take in the wild sights, fish up new freaks of nature, and help a strange man collect mysterious artifacts. That's Dredge.
In terms of just gameplay, I'd say this is pretty lousy most of the time. The fishing mechanics are extremely shallow: press 'F' at the right time to catch the fish... or hell, don't press anything! You'll still get it, just not as fast. You do have to actually “try” when dredging for upgrade components or catching a prized fish.
Outside of then selling the fish and upgrading the boat, this is all you'll really be “doing”. Don't expect very much there.
What Dredge does best is create a world, no doubt about it. It's so painfully gloomy and hopeless everywhere you go, but you're The Little Engine That Could, and you better believe you plan on giving the people at least something to hold out hope for. Despite looking so simple and almost childlike, you'll still get a sinking feeling in your gut when you get to a new location, wondering just what this horrible place has in store for you. The art of the “normal” fishes looks good, but it really shines when you see the abnormal stuff: skeletal swimmers, xenomorph-mouthed anglers, and fish whose eyes are light-swallowing voids. It's quite neat.
Considering all you can “do” is fish, I think the devs kind of squeezed everything they possibly could out of it, which unfortunately wasn't very much (but hey: good effort). They'll have you hide from monsters while you fish sometimes, and each monster has a different look and gimmick, but I think the first one is a very low “best” and it's slightly downhill from there.
I do want to applaud the devs for their patches, they listened to feedback and added much-needed improvements, such as the ability to set map markers and giving you more research points so you can actually get all the equipment before the game ends, etc. In my opinion, it's mostly a list of no-brainers that should have been there from launch, but better late than never. In 2023, I think the response to fans from a bigger developer likely would have been “Get bent.”
The Blackstone Key DLC is horrid, though. It adds two items for five dollars: one is the worst engine in the game, the other is something to make abnormal fish more frequent so you can get rich quicker or see 100% of fish sooner. Money is easy to get in Dredge, I had 13k just sitting around by the end and it only existed as insurance should I crash my zippy boat (and it's $30 per crash). These should be free items you find on unmarked islands, not purchasable gear.
I see people in the Steam comments saying they basically only bought the DLC and “recommend it” as a tip to the developers. It's bad DLC. Do not be this person.
I liked Dredge's world but I'm not too sure I liked playing in it. The game is fine, but only because the setting is doing so much of the heavy lifting. It's a tough score and I'd have liked to have gone higher, but it just needs more. Get it on sale.
In Dredge, it'll live up to its name as you dredge up fish, wreckage, and hidden treasures out of the accursed sea. The world has been drowned in a nightly fog determined to drive you insane and feed you to the grotesque, abominable variations of oceanic creatures that're becoming more and more frequent. Something is very wrong with this area and you're waking up in it as a fresh amnesiac. Who are you? What caused your memory lapse? What's happening to this place?
You'll zip around a small world in a boat whose hardware and storage space you incrementally upgrade. Take in the wild sights, fish up new freaks of nature, and help a strange man collect mysterious artifacts. That's Dredge.
In terms of just gameplay, I'd say this is pretty lousy most of the time. The fishing mechanics are extremely shallow: press 'F' at the right time to catch the fish... or hell, don't press anything! You'll still get it, just not as fast. You do have to actually “try” when dredging for upgrade components or catching a prized fish.
Outside of then selling the fish and upgrading the boat, this is all you'll really be “doing”. Don't expect very much there.
What Dredge does best is create a world, no doubt about it. It's so painfully gloomy and hopeless everywhere you go, but you're The Little Engine That Could, and you better believe you plan on giving the people at least something to hold out hope for. Despite looking so simple and almost childlike, you'll still get a sinking feeling in your gut when you get to a new location, wondering just what this horrible place has in store for you. The art of the “normal” fishes looks good, but it really shines when you see the abnormal stuff: skeletal swimmers, xenomorph-mouthed anglers, and fish whose eyes are light-swallowing voids. It's quite neat.
Considering all you can “do” is fish, I think the devs kind of squeezed everything they possibly could out of it, which unfortunately wasn't very much (but hey: good effort). They'll have you hide from monsters while you fish sometimes, and each monster has a different look and gimmick, but I think the first one is a very low “best” and it's slightly downhill from there.
I do want to applaud the devs for their patches, they listened to feedback and added much-needed improvements, such as the ability to set map markers and giving you more research points so you can actually get all the equipment before the game ends, etc. In my opinion, it's mostly a list of no-brainers that should have been there from launch, but better late than never. In 2023, I think the response to fans from a bigger developer likely would have been “Get bent.”
The Blackstone Key DLC is horrid, though. It adds two items for five dollars: one is the worst engine in the game, the other is something to make abnormal fish more frequent so you can get rich quicker or see 100% of fish sooner. Money is easy to get in Dredge, I had 13k just sitting around by the end and it only existed as insurance should I crash my zippy boat (and it's $30 per crash). These should be free items you find on unmarked islands, not purchasable gear.
I see people in the Steam comments saying they basically only bought the DLC and “recommend it” as a tip to the developers. It's bad DLC. Do not be this person.
I liked Dredge's world but I'm not too sure I liked playing in it. The game is fine, but only because the setting is doing so much of the heavy lifting. It's a tough score and I'd have liked to have gone higher, but it just needs more. Get it on sale.