Cleared on May 21st, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 74/160)

Note: While I did play a little bit of the mage, I ran through the whole game using the fighter. Review is subjected to be updated when I clear a playthrough with the mage.

Cadash is an side-scroller action platformer brought to you by the once arcade titan, Taito. I have not played the Arcade version although from my understanding the differences involve a timer for each level as well as two additional characters with the Priest and Ninja. On the Sega Genesis, it's just the Fighter and Mage.

The Fighter is the melee class that lets you attack with a sword with its advantage that they can take a lot of hits, but lack the range and versatility which can make it monotonous as you only have one attack button. The Mage, meanwhile, is the spellcaster that's advantage is that it has versatility with spells along with the range, but they do not take damage all that well, their melee attacks are much weaker, and their spells have a mana limit to be wary of.

Despite being an arcade title, it feels more like an Action RPG that you have to beat in 1 sitting (which I don't have to, thankfully). The problem is when you account for the fact that you can actual backtrack like you could in a metroidvania in order to fully heal yourself and just have as much time as you want to. In fact, I've used up a good amount of playtime just killing mobs until I reached Level 20 which from my understanding is the soft cap because the exp required to get from 20 to 21 is so high that you'll never really get there unless you're insane.

With the arcade structure, in mind, don't expect any complex puzzles or even any inventory management as if there's something you need, the game will just handle it for you. There are maybe a few secrets, but for the most part, the game follows a linear path from one point to the next, and if there are multiple paths, there's a good chance that it doesn't stray you for long, or its inaccessible until you get a certain item within the area.

The game ends up being fairly easy, and sure the first boss can give you real trouble, but if you can get past that, it gets much easier with the new equipment and the ability to just go back to town and heal back to full health as well as have medicine herbs on hand, and of course, much more effective mob farm hotspots become open to boost up your levels. Unfortunately, the game ends up feeling kinda boring. I don't mean to say that game's being easy means being boring, but not having much going on mechanically does. I understand that it was meant to be simple due to the timer that was there in the arcade which would encourage time management among your skills, but if they were going to get rid of it, they could've done more with the overall game to make it more engaging.

There's not much else to say about it. It's pretty run of the mill as far as action RPGs go, and I wouldn't really care to recommend it to even a die-hard RPG fan. It's not a terrible game, but it's the type of game that other games of its genre build off of.

Cleared on May 19th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 73/160)

For some odd reason, there's no Valis II on the Sega Genesis unless you count Syd of Valis, but I ain't touching that. However, I liked Valis I enough that I was willing to play through the game, and it was... good. It does some things better than its predecessor, but there are others that it does... really bad.

First of all, the big thing it does better is that it has much better dialogue. Some things from the plot still had to be cut, but never did I suspect something was off at the least although there were some funny grammatical errors like "take this swords" or "survivers". There were also text boxes within levels that make it hard to tell who's talking although you may be able to get an idea as to who is talking. Lastly, it's no longer called Fantasy World, it's now Dreamland... as it should be... which would now confuse players that played the original, but hey, I'm sure they'll like the new name just fine. Other than that, it's fine. Since there isn't really a Valis II on the system, the game gives you a recap on the story that happens for both Valis and Valis II which I suppose is nice to answer a few questions that I would've had otherwise. I also give it points for having the anime cutscenes feel more animated and while it doesn't compare to other versions of the game, it is a step-up from Valis I on the Genesis.

As far as gameplay goes, I like the addition of Cham and Valna as playable characters although this does come at some caveats. For one thing, you don't have a selection of spells like in the first game, and the spell you use depends on the wand that you picked up. One with the red orb, blue orb, or cyan orb. The good news is that each character has a spell that they can use, giving them three to work with. Also, I don't remember if this also applies to Valis I, but the camera when you're going up or left is atrocious. When you move left, it becomes difficult to see your foes coming because the camera is treated as though you are about to move right or rather that the level design was exclusively for you to go right.

Other than that, the usual gameplay applies. It's a 2D action game where you swing your weapon at foes, jump, high jump, and powerslide. The powerslide appears more responsive and works more the way I thought it should've in the original, but... there's an odd catch. It appears to be tied to the attack meter which determines how far your projectile will fire. Now in the original, if you collect the proper power-up, you can just press the button and fire projectiles which made the game one of the easier games on the system, but here, you have to wait a moment before you fire out a projectile and if you don't let it charge enough, it'll become too short. Perhaps this change was necessary for balancing purposes, but it kinda made combat feel odd as it would lead to some range scuff because you thought you waited enough and then it turned out you were just a second short. This is why I gravitate towards Cham and Valna because they don't have this issue at the least as Cham has a whip akin to Castlevania while Valna has projectiles that fire forward and another upward. Now you can remedy this issue with buffs that increase the range of your attack and the charge up speed which can make Yuka ok enough.

Strangely, this is another game that, despite being no shorter than a typical Genesis game, made me wish there was more to it. I know the PC Engine/TurboGrafx CD version has more stages and whatnot, but another major factor in why I felt disappointed... the final boss was so bad.

Rogles was a hard boss fight when I faced him, but with a great song and some build-up, it was a serviceable enough and in hindsight is probably one of the better bosses that I've fought on a Sega Genesis game so far.

Glames... more like, Gay and lame! AAAAAAA!!!! Dumb name aside, it was so disappointing that you have a solid build-up with the classic "good weapon vs bad weapon" where Yuka fights with Valis while Glames fights with Leethus... only for Glames to barely use Leethus and in the second phase proceeds to spam these insanely difficult to avoid flaming knives. You can hit them, but you might not have enough attack frames to hit them without taking a hit yourself. If his body is too close to you and fires the flame knives... good luck. Also, in phase 2, he will float around and sometimes he won't be off the ground enough to be able to powerslide underneath him. Oh, and in the room where you actually have to fight him, there are no wand power-ups and only two attack range boosts and now attack speed boost which means that if you want to take him on with full health, first of all, you need to avoid the bats that try to wear you down. Lastly, you need to deal with the sluggish attack range build-up, and you have to play as Valis for this boss fight. And because your attack range build-up is connected to your powerslide, deciding which one to do in a heated moment can be difficult and because its so slow, assuming you lost a life due to being too low on health before getting here, you won't get to do it all that often. To top it all off, the boss fight doesn't even have its own theme, something that Rogles has... but Glames doesn't.

Anyway, so the game ends with Yuka sealing off Valis and Leethus to never be used again, putting an end to the series so it seems... see y'all in Valis IV.

Cleared on May 17th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 72/160)

With colorful graphics and a sexy looking magician with a monster accompanying her, the game makes a very good visual impression with some great music. That said, the game looks better than it plays. Not that the gameplay is terrible or anything, but there are some oddities in the gameplay.

One problem is that enemies will infinitely respawn at certain points and while you do have the tools to deal with multiple enemies at once, if you're hoping to clear them out and move along, more enemies will come in before you can even move, so you would need to brute force your way through.
Another problem is that dodging attacks is very difficult. It can be remedied through the fire spirit who is the only spirit that can actually absorb projectile damage without losing health as it has a built-in shield although at least the game has the courteousy to lay out health potions and give you a good amount of a health to withstand damage.
And there have been some clunk in the movement as there are sometimes where landing lag will happen and other times it won't which can make some sections that involve reactive jumping more difficult.
Lastly, bosses at the final 3 stages take a very long time to take down with the 6th stage boss being so bad. Oh my god. Diagonal terrain makes it hard enough to move around and avoid attacks as is, but when you combine that with a rapidly moving background, you can barely make out your surroundings or where the bullets are.

This game is flawed, but it's a weird case where I actually enjoyed it despite this. The game is a 2D action game where you traverse through lands to fight monsters and defeat some priest from awakening "his master". But you're not alone for you have a monster companion of your own.

Alisia on her own can unleash a lightning bolt that spreads onto multiple targets and deal decent damage, but her companions, DragonFyre can spew fireballs and at max level can fire three at a time. Good for open areas. Ball O'Fire which can damage foes on contact and shield you from projectiles. Very niche offensively to the point where I thought it was useless, but seeing it absorb projectiles in the 7th stage boss makes me think I may have underestimated it. Thunder Raven winds up an storm nuke that damages all foes on the screen. Easily my favorite and works in any scenario. Boomerang Lizard fires boomerangs at foes which makes it a decent alternative to the Dragon.

You get them all in the beginning of the game, but it is important to switch between them since they can take damage and even die. I haven't verified if they can be revived, but I imagine through finding meat with them active can maybe bring them to life.

I guess the coolness factor just elevates this game for me with being able to unleash lightning on your foes with pets to assist you. Sure the game does get tough, but with the potions and meat lying around, it can be bearable as long as you understand the game's workings, but at the same time, the difficulty and bad enemy placement does make it probably the weakest of all the 4 star games I have reviewed on the Sega Genesis thus far.

Cleared on May 17th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 71/160)

Insector X is another horizontal shoot em up on the Sega Genesis. I would say that this has gotten a bit out of hand, but it is my fault that I logged them in the first place. That aside, what does it bring to the table?

Well, there are bugs... and by "bugs", I mean insects and arachnids that you must fight, but you can also fire two different weapons and switch between two secondary weapons which instead of growing in power will drastically change how it functions based on level. You have the typical P and S icons for main weapon power and speed, but the secondary weapons will include a red gun which covers a horizontal area while the blue gun covers downward which may seem impractical until you realize that you kinda need them for a better shot at venturing through tight corridors since the enemy may be out of line of sight for your shots otherwise. Even though the functionalities are different, they still feel more powerful than the last and you can just spam both main and secondary weapons with two buttons at once.

For this reason, this is one of the easier shoot em ups as once you get maxed out, you can just breeze through the bosses, and even if you lose a life, big deal... just set the games stock count to 8 and you'll be alright. Well, until you get to the final levels where the game barrages you with these tiny bugs in tight corridors that can shoot at you. Then the game just goes wild with the enemies on-screen with projectiles. And if you think "Well, I've collected so many lives throughout the game, no big deal, I'll just waste away my lives just to brute force through the mob". Think again. This game has checkpoints where if you lose a life, you will be set back to a certain point and while it won't send you back to the beginning, good luck trying again with those sequences.

The boss battles aren't too difficult for this genres standards. I think the hardest one may have been either the 1st or 3rd boss, and the final boss is easy enough once you stay at a spot, occasionally move right or left to avoid the balls, and completely avoid the laser... close to its crotch. Am I crazy or is it a recurring theme to involve penis look-a-likes or "pissing" in shoot em ups? Also, the final boss does not have its own boss theme.

It's a good shooter all things considered. The slowdown that I've experienced is minor, and doesn't try to bullshit you up until the final level. And it's nice to stick it to all of those "pesky bees" after all this time annoying the hell out of me throughout my whole life.

Cleared on May 16th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 70/160)

Undead Line takes every possible way you can make a vertical shoot em up insanely difficult and just runs with it. Your character is on foot which makes it prone to hazards and collision, but its not like Twinkle Tale where you can move on your own accordance, but its an auto-scroller where you aim in one direction. Add that with a barrage of enemies and very tricky boss fights and that's Undead Line.

This is the kind of difficulty that could make me miserable, but I think what carries this game for me is the ghoulish atmosphere and the fun weaponry. You are playing as a warrior named Leon, who is on a quest to defeat Count Brahzen and his monster army. There you venture into the darkness where they await your demise. Fortunately for you, you have chests laying all around that can provide you with weaponry and buffs.

You have six possible weapons which consist of Throwing Knife. A standard rapid-fire projectile. I never bothered to upgrade it, so I don't know what it would accomplish. It's your standard weapon and presumably the worst. Energy Blast is a projectile that upon contact will create a blast that damages enemies nearby with the blast growing stronger as you upgrade. Fireball which creates fireball projectiles and upon upgrade will become a flamethrower, making it arguably the best for dealing with bosses. Axe returns like a boomerang with low range and pierces through enemies. I'm sure the damage is good, but it's probably one of the worst weapons in the game due to the nature of this game with enemies barraging you left and right and having a slow straight line projectile that you can only have 5 out at a time is kinda a liability. Boomerang is kinda the same idea, but it takes its own upgrade direction with going in different directions and at max level will turn into a homing shot that hits nearby enemies, making it probably the best for clearing enemies. Crossed Sword is another really good AoE weapon. Each of which (except for Throwing Knife) is tied to a stat which you can upgrade at the end of each level, provided that you collect fairies that spawn at each level with 3 per level which means you can gain a maximum of 18 throughout a run of the game. If I have to guess, not only does it give you a headstart in upgrade, but also boosts damage. So the most optimal strategy would be to max out the stat based on which weapon you want to use. You want to use Energy Blast? Pick MP which also comes with the added benefit of making your Spirit stronger which despite appearing in the weapon chest is more of a buff moreso than anything. You want to use Crossed Sword, stack up on Strength. You want to rotate between Flamethrower and Boomerang? Boost your Dexterity. There's also Agility which boosts your movement speed which can be nice to have.

In addition to your weapons, you have a shield which can block certain projectiles that shoot in front of you. You are going to need it because its the only way to deal with certain obstacles that seem otherwise improbable to avoid. You have three spike balls which will spin around you and protect you from projectiles and damage nearby foes, but you only get three per life, so use them wisely. You also have item chests that improve your survivability which include Blue Medicine which heals you by one point as well as Shield which protects you for 3 hits. You have dynamite for a screen nuke and an invincibility potion. Do be careful when shooting the chest since there are duds like the red potion which despite its red look will actually decrease your HP by 1, a black potion which will revert you to Level 1 Throwing Knife, and Lead Boots which will slow you.

As stated before, this game can get very punishing under bad circumstances. There is no damage buffer to give you time to re-adapt, if you get barraged three times in less than 2 seconds, you lost all of that health. Checkpoints only exist after you defeat the mini-boss which some levels aren't guaranteed to have. And the bosses are a real bitch to fight. The Forest boss fight is ironically the worst despite being the one you will most likely fight first since you can tackle them in any order. It's massive, it has spinning boulders, and you need to utilize a very specific movement pattern, so its fat hitbox doesn't collide with yours while making sure the boulder doesn't hit you from behind. Other boss fights include an undead sorcerer that radiates dark auras that can harm you on contact which can be beaten back by simply attacking, but you also have rapid fire projectiles. Ruins I don't think is hard as long as you keep blocking. The fire boss is actually really easy once you figure out you can shoot its hand to block one of its projectiles, allowing you room to avoid only one fire wave. I think I had a better time with this fight due to using Crossed Sword. The dragon is a tanky one, and can damage you with a gust of wind and a flame breath. If there's one point I can say the agility stat would be the most optimal, this would be the fight. Drain has you deal with the slime boss which isn't too hard. The final boss, meanwhile, seems like it's unwinnable at first, but once can figure out you can get up close, and get into a rhythm of blocking its 2nd attack and dodge right for its lasers when it comes up while blocking, it's not that hard to deal with.

Undead Line did have some neat ideas, and I'm a sucker for a more gothic atmosphere in games, but the over the top difficulty really bogged this game down for me even on Easy mode. It really would've been right at home in America given how often they like to bullshit their game difficulty for international releases. Rental stores would've loved to have copies of this game lying around.

Played on May 15th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 69/160)

Originally, this game was not on my Sega Genesis Challenge list, but after the terribly unfun time I had with Strider, I swapped out Strider's Return with this very interesting take on the typical sports game.

Now, I really don't care for the more "grounded in reality" sports games like Madden, FIFA, or NBA. They are insanely bloated in the mainstream marketing with their yearly releases, and I just think they are boring. It's when there's some kind of fantasy catch to it that makes it more exciting. Mutant League Hockey is one of those games where it takes the simple game of hockey and throws monsters into the ring with gore, hazards, and all kinds of dangerous plays.

So the game of hockey goes like this, you have a puck, you have to secure it and get it to the goal while maneuvering against your foe and bypassing the goalie. This is easier said than done when they can also punch you to the ground which you can to, but they can also intercept your shots.

What makes it stand out is more than just aesthetic, but also the arsenal you have on hand. You can call some nasty plays which include exploding pucks to blow up in the enemies face, you can waste the goalie to make it easier to make the shot, you can confuse the enemies, and much more depending on the team you have.

The team may seem cosmetic on the surface, but really, each of the players it houses have individual stats with some being better than others. Some of them are intentionally designed to be trash like the Mighty Weenies, but others are designed to be so good they can't even play in playoffs such as the All Stars. In a way, it's kinda like deciding what difficulty you want to play on.

The one thing that I'm unsure of about this game is playing with penalties on because while it does seem more balanced to prevent cheesy strategies, it's often difficult to determine what conditions cause penalties and in a game as rough as this, it kinda feels undermining of the whole point of the game. It does encourage you to utilize in special plays like bribing the referee or even outright killing him, but it actively discourages nasty plays because if you kill the goalie, the player that delivered the killing blow ends up penalized. You can also set how vulnerable to death each person is as Level 1 will ensure that almost everyone survives, but Level 5 will more likely cause a forfeit to decide a game.

Another thing I find odd is that the NPCs will never use any special plays themselves even with penalties off which seems to give you more of the upper hand against them. Not sure if I can say the same for the player enemies, and because it doesn't give any visual cues that the play was selected, it's hard to determine if they even picked something or if they're actually bluffing, and if they did pick something, which one?

So in case Hockey wasn't brutal enough as is, then throw in even more brutality, and now you're on thin ice. The one thing that is disappointing is that the game teased Mutant League Basketball in the intro credits, but it never happened.

Cleared on May 13th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 68/160)

Boy, I sure love it when programmers create movesets for characters only for their level design to actively work against it. This game will actively punish you for even the tiniest mistakes which requires ninja-like precision to avoid. In theory, this should be fitting since you are an acrobatic with the ability to leap around, powerslide, and repeatedly strike your foes by tapping the attack button. The problem is that these movements are so clunky that actually putting them to use is really difficult. I've had cases where I've grabbed onto ledges I didn't mean to grab or had no idea was even there, I've dealt with numerous uneven terrain, the enemy placement is bullshit and there are sometimes too many enemies on the screen. And in case you're wondering, the bosses are just as bad with the worst of them being the anti-gravity ball and the rematch with that mechanical dinosaur and yes, you have a boss rush in this game, and the final boss is actually lame as hell.

Top it all off with screen flickering at points in the game, camera too zoomed in, slow down at points, and a mediocre soundtrack, and you have something really unfun and just mentally trying. If you're looking for something acrobatic, you're better off playing Shinobi III (which I recently updated my review on after replaying the game). You might even have better luck with the 2014 Strider game.

I actually had Strider Returns among the games to go through for the Sega Genesis Challenge, but knowing how bad it supposedly is, and playing through Strider 1989, I think I'll save that game for a bonus Sega Genesis challenge I'm thinking about doing called the "Bottom of the Barrel".

Cleared on May 10th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 67/160)

The best way I can describe this game is an indie game before they were cool. Fitting as this game was developed by a famous indie studio you might know as Game Freak which as of 2024 has about 212 people involved.

In all seriousness, this game has a lot of positive attributes of a game made with passion such as combining retro ideas (Megaman X and Rocket Knight Adventures), colorful pixelated graphics that are really well detailed with a good variety of scenery, level-based mechanics that challenge your adaptability, and even voice acting? In a Sega Genesis game?! Well, kinda... these voices are all pixelated as hell which isn't too uncommon since Outrun, Space Harrier II, and Altered Beast have proven it do-able even during the Genesis' infancy days, but Pulseman takes it a step further by incorporating a surprising amount of voice lines.

The graphics and artstyle is remarkable. Pulseman himself is such a well designed superhero with the colors matching quite nicely with each other, and his sprite is well detailed with a determined run animation and flashy lightning attacks. And the scenery ranges from cities to snowy fields, and there's plenty of cyberspace locations with have a unique look across different levels complimented with a futuristic soundtrack that works with the Genesis soundfont. That said, these cyberspace areas may be too colorful and not friendly for anyone with epilepsy, but even if that isn't an issue, there is one problem... it may have played a part in this game's biggest flaw, the slowdown. It doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen quite often and does slow down the gameplay which otherwise feels quite energetic and fast paced.

Pulseman is a 2D action platformer similar to the Megaman X games except you only have a few abilities to work with and don't gain any new abilities. You have a jump, an attack, and a shock burst that gives a window of invincibility. However, if you move or dash, you charge up electricity which causes your next attack to fire a ranged projectile while your next shock burst becomes Voltteccer which propels you upward diagonally either left or right which can bounce up walls to extend the time which allows you to reach great heights in narrow corridors. You're also invincible during this time. There's also a flip kick which you can pull off by pressing the attack button and the up arrow which would come in handy in some cases, but it ends up being situational that I keep forgetting to use it when it would be optimal. You have a very good run speed, and it builds up instead of staying on one speed, so you can take it slow for more precise platforming.

One of the game's weaknesses are the boss battles as I thought they were kinda lame to the point where the best boss in the game is a ball... a ball. The rest of the bosses have only two or three attacks and while some of them can be hard at first, they are able to be figured out. You can also criticize the level design of Level 6 and 7 in particular as well as the water mechanic that straight up prevents you from using your electric skills, but I really don't mind. I think it makes for a good challenge although I can see why the Level 6 during the falling section of the water level would be scary. Even I was surprised I got that section through on my first try. The auto-scroller is also difficult, but given how you have a power-up that lets you use empowered electric skills until you get to the end of a section at one point, not to mention the lives that you can easily pick up in the following sections, you'll have plenty of chances to get it down.

I was warned how hard it was, but compared to other Sega Genesis games that I played, this game was far more manageable than I was expecting. I still had to use save states since I have other games to go through, but this is definitely a game that I'll be coming back to in the near future for a "no save state" run.

Cleared on May 10th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 66/160)

The Sega Genesis is a system that boldly claimed itself in 1991 to have "blast processing". Sadly, this game was made in 1989.

At a glance, you might think its just another horizontal shoot em up, and if this were your first, you might suspect anything out of the ordinary, but if you've played a good chunk of them on the system, something doesn't feel right. The frame rate feels off and this isn't something that I usually take offense to since after awhile, I can adapt to games with suboptimal frame rate, and I've definitively played worse in that regard.

That said, a more pressing matter is when you combine frame rate with the amount of shit that goes on on-screen. There are so many enemies, so many shots, and there's just an unusual amount going on at a time. That does not feel fun. The obstacles can also feel narrow with Stage 1 having trees that are unclear that you need to dodge because of how seamless it blends with scenery. It wasn't until I caught on to the shot collision when I realized you have to go above the tree. Stage 4 has these meteors that feel like a speed check as if you don't have enough speed icons, you will not be able to get by without foresight. Also, Stage 5 is indoors which is to say that tight corridors are plentiful.

Here's a list of even more inconveniences.
-The third boss having a very specific tiny spot that is blocked by its neck
-Losing all of your power-ups when you lose a life. Your missiles, your drones, and your weapons along with its upgrades.
-Stage 5 specifically forcing you to the very beginning of the level if you lose a life which really feels like padding to conceal just how short the game actually is.

Mechanically, it's about what you'd expect a shoot em up to play. There are weapons you can collect, power ups, speed boosts, and all that stuff. You do have a shield meter, so smaller attacks won't just OHKO you which I think is reasonable although some bigger attacks can chunk a good amount of health or even still take you down in one hit. There are also these E icons that do refill your shield meter as well.

Honestly, Curse is just really forgettable. It'll leave your mind faster than you cleared the game, and you'll wonder if you did anything interesting in the past hour after the fact.

Cleared on May 9th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 65/160)

Mechanically, this might be my favorite shoot em up out of what I've played so far, but holy shit is it hard. And not always in a good way even with the tools that this game gives me.

What Eliminate Down proposes for its gameplay style is that you already have all of your weapons by default that you can switch to at anytime instead of having to collect a power-up and then stick to it until you can find another. You have a forward shot, missiles that cover both up and down direction at the same time, and a backward shot. This is actually really cool, and I didn't need to stress over figuring out what this weapon does or picking the wrong weapon at the wrong time. The only minor problem is that they have two buttons for weapon swap and you mean to tell me I have to cycle through the missiles before I can cycle to the backshot? Well, at least you can tap the weapon swap button twice, and you can get it. Another cool thing they did is the same idea that Whip Rush brought with being able to control speed, but you do that via pause menu. This gives you more time to plan your next move. If there's a series of tight corridors coming up, just switch to slower speeds. When you got a bunch of enemies to barrage, just switch to faster speeds. The caveat is that there are no bombs or ultimate attacks, but you do acquire shields to withstand a few hits and power-ups that empower your weapons, and it doesn't take long to get to Level 3 and good news is that you only lose one level when you lose a life and it keeps all the power points you've collected, so if you collected 4 P at Level 3, then lose a life, then just collect one P and you're back at Level 3.

All that aside, this game can still seriously bullshit you in the worst ways and that gets especially apparent during the game's second half. There are points in the game where I got ambushed by traps or unexpected shots that gave me almost no time to react not to mention just straight up difficult shots to avoid in general as well as unfair enemy placement like at the start of Stage 7. The bosses are also difficult, but you can figure them out.

The presentation for the game is really good. I think the soundtrack is great, and the grotesque alien aesthetic is well done. The fourth mini-boss was fucking weird with its penis attack... so that's why it never got localized in the first place. Also, this game actually has a dedicated final boss theme, and that always excites me since there are usually no guarantees that a Sega Genesis game will even have one.

Eliminate Down in a way represents some of the best and worst of the schmup genre. It's weapon swapping and speed shifting helps to give this game some variety as well as overcome situations in front of you, but those situations in question have reached points of being really unfair. Thankfully, the fun factor kept me from being bored or driving me mad. Is it a game that I'll come back to for another round? Maybe. If nothing else, there's a fun little minigame in the options.

Cleared on May 7th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 64/160)

You know, having gone through a good chunk of the Sega Genesis library, I've reviewed shoot em ups that go horizontal, 3D, ones that have you go on foot, and even one that goes diagonal, but barring that one level in Twinkle Tale, this is the first vertical shoot em up that I've reviewed, despite the system having so many that I haven't even catalogued them all. Raiden Trad is... ok, I guess. It's nothing special and it gets really really hard.

The first two levels start out easy enough. You still die in one hit, but if you're familiar with the gameplay style, you should be able to manage and if you do well enough, you can get some really beefed up weaponry. You can equip both a missile and a gun at the same time for massive damage output, but the bad news is that there are only two of each type and one is more favorable than the other. For the missiles, you have one that fires a barrage of missiles in a straight line for massive damage which isn't too bad if you end up getting it for boss battles, but the homing missile will fire rapidly and shoot down nearby enemies and the more you collect, the more missiles you fire. As for the gun, you have either a spread shot or a laser. The laser can be good for damage, but when it comes to dealing with enemies, it requires you to move around which may put you in a bad position if you're not careful which is why spread shot is more preferably as at max rank, it can cover almost the entire area which gives you more leeway to focus more on positioning. Much like with the shoot em ups, if you lose a life, you lose all of your powers, but the game does have a bit of a mercy aspect with a fairy that will drop off a few items that you can pick up to barely get back in power. One time when I was down to one life, it just gave me a max power of both the missile and gun which I suppose is supposed to be a last ditch effort. That's a cool touch if that's the case.

Of course, the game demands great precision with your dodges which becomes especially apparent during the 2nd half of the game and even beforehand, Boss 3 and 4 are arguably harder than even the final boss (well, the one before the credits, anyway). Boss 3 in particular is batshit insane with how it just barrages you as soon as you down its weapons in addition to the enemies assisting it. At least to the game's credit, you can utilize bombs to nuke all foes on screen. Oh, and if you aren't using save states, you don't just lose a life and then pick up where you left off, you gotta start back at a checkpoint which I suspect will be a huge annoyance when you think you're so close.

But one thing that stood out to me is that this is probably the first case that I've ran into on the Sega Genesis where it has a post game level that you can go through once the credits finish rolling, and it's fucking brutal even on easy difficulty. Enemies come in fast, enemies shoot fast, high in numbers, harder to take down, and there are points where its down right impossible to get through without your bombs and if you lose a life, you're shit out of luck because weapon upgrades are more scarce then ever before. Not only did I have to save scum to stand a chance, I came up with a new strategy called pause scumming where as soon as the foe shoots, you pause, then you analyze where you can dodge and just go there. It is a useful tactic if you're playing on original hardware. In fact, you're going to need it especially even if you can get to the superboss by some miracle. It's projectiles are already one of the more difficult to avoid, but it takes so much damage and the more damage it takes, the more aggressive its attacks get shooting more space trash at you and just shooting from its mouth and whatever turrets it has left.

The game also gets negative points for having only two level tracks that rotate between 8 levels, the special level doesn't get its own track, and neither the final boss nor the superboss gets its own boss theme either. It's just the normal boss theme.

Overall, it's just a run of the mill vertical shooter. I imagine there are better ones out there in the Genesis line-up.

Cleared on May 5th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 63/160)

Streets of Rage is an arcade style beat em up that is not a port of an arcade game to the Genesis, but instead made with that system in mind. It takes liberties to capture the feeling of going to an arcade machine and just fighting bad guys except once you pay a hefty fee (apparently $49.99 + $179.99 was a lot of money back then), it is yours to try as many times as you want without paying a quarter to continue. It might have sounded dumb since nowadays you can get the game on Steam for a dollar (maybe even less on sale), but back then, the idea of having an arcade game all to yourself without paying to continue or taking up so much space in your house was awesome. That being said, you're going to need all the chances you can get because one of this game's liberties they took from arcade beat em ups is being really difficult... and not always in a good way.

The game has three buttons which are jump, attack, and special. Yeah, I hope you like pressing the same button to attack over and over, but actually, they made even that more fun as not only can you perform a good variety of moves like grapples, throws, back kicks, air kicks and suplexs, you can also pick up weapons to give you an advantage. Knives will increase the damage you deal although it will get thrown after a bit. Glass bottles also increase damage, but the range isn't as good nor is the damage, but it lasts as long as you don't get hit. The pipe and bat are really fun to use since they got not only damage, but range. The problem is that they don't have a dedicated combo as you can only swing once before given a window of vulnerability. There's also the smoke bomb which is uncommon, but when used can immobilize enemies for a brief moment.

There are few enemy variants. You have the basic enemies which might not seem special at a glance until you realize they are the only enemies in the game that hold weapons and besides the glass bottle which are found in crates, are the only way to actually get weapons. There are grapplers that will throw you if you get too close to them and sometimes will slide kick you. You have whip girls with long range, these martial art dudes with flips and kicks that can be difficult to avoid, and jugglers that throw projectiles at you. Due to this game's perception, avoiding these guys is actually a bitch. The good news is that if you can hold your ground long enough, you can acquire health pick ups to heal and if you get enough points, you can get additional lives which may actually be a boon if you can survive the bosses to use your special on and then again when you lose a life.

The bosses are... not very fun. Not only do they hit for a lot of damage, they feel very fast too. I've fiddled around the rewind feature on Sega Genesis Classics collection on Steam to verify that the simple act of making the wrong move can put you in a position where you literally cannot avoid an attack. Heck, there are times where no matter what move you make, you will get hit for a lot of damage. And god forbid if you choose Adam among the cast because his movement speed is so shit and avoiding attacks takes a fuckton of foresight. Axel and Blaze aren't actually much better, but you can at least position yourself faster with these two. Another weird quirk to these bosses is that they can easily be cheesed just by just barely surviving, then as soon as they come out, use your special attack to have the police back-up nuke them for massive damage, then once you lose a life, you can use your special attack again and really chunk their health. From there, brute force your way against the bosses and you win. Also, there are two levels in the game where you can actually have an additional special meter, so you can use it up to 3 times.

The bad news is that I think even the developers know about this, and have it so that the special is outright disabled in the final level and forces you through a boss rush where you have to fight all of them properly. The worst ones are the wolverine wanna be and those ninja twins. At least with the ninja twins, as long as you keep your back turned, you can trick them into thinking they can easily grab you and follow up with a back kick by pressing the Jump + Attack button at the same time. The final boss, though, is a testament to how this game does not want you to win. He's already fast as fuck for a fatass in a tuxedo, but he has two minions aiding him that will keep respawning throughout the fight and he has a gun which isn't as bad as it sounds. In fact, it will often hit his own men more than it will hit you, but then he dashes around and unless you can time your jump kick perfectly, you will take a massive hit from his melee attacks.

I don't know how this game compares to the later games in the series since at the time of reviewing, I don't know what they are like, but even I can tell that it has the issues that first games usually have with clunky control quirks such as how you can't jump around in any other direction besides left or right. I don't know if this is ever addressed in the sequels, maybe in Streets in Rage 4 with how modern it is, but it was something I found annoying. It's still worth a playthrough because the combat is satisfying enough and the music and atmosphere are really good. Just don't ever pick Adam like I did the first time since he has the worst movement speed in the game. Axel will give you the same power at the cost of having a weak jump which seems quite miniscule with how it works here while Blaze, despite having lower power, can still deal good damage with weapons and throws.

Cleared on May 5th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 62/160)

Vectorman is a game that I’ve always had access to through Sonic Genesis Collection, but I thought it was so hard that I could never get past the first level at the time, but now that I have had more experience with the run and gun genre, I can say that the game… is still really hard, but with enough patience, it is somewhat more manageable.

The plot is that robots are in charge of helping to clean up toxic waste that polluted earth in the year 2049 while the humans fled to space, but one of them known as Warhead went rogue and started a robot revolution. Vectorman, having come back from his routine of dumping the sludge in the sun, discovers the revolution and through his immunity to mind control, was able to challenge the revolution and set forth on a mission to take down Warhead.

The game is divided into multiple levels that you must clear within a time limit. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this style of gameplay as B.O.B. has that same structure, but Vectorman works so much better in practically every single way. The controls are fluent, there’s no fall damage or stuns from falling, you can double jump without it being tied to a gadget, you can aim diagonal upward and diagonal downward in the air, and you can aim straight down while in the air. On top of that, the ammo is unlimited, so you can freely shoot and not be as worried about enemies that you can’t see coming because the camera doesn’t cover a lot of area at a time.

The levels are appropriately designed with their length in mind and they carry a sort of labyrinth feel to it, but really, it’s not so much of an issue of getting lost. As long as you move right, you should be fine. At least until you get to Level 15, and that’s where you’re going to find yourself confused, and I think I was only able to beat it with less than 30 seconds left on the clock.

You have 3-5 health points depending on your difficulty of choice, but health point drops come fairly easily not just from the enemies in your way, but also from TVs which will net you other benefits such as score multiplier, a weapon upgrade, or some crazy power-up known as morphs. This allows you some leeway to rushdown the levels which may help you to save time, and the weapon upgrades you get are very powerful. You have spread shot, you have homing shot, you have shots that spin around you, and you have a shot that acts something like a flail. As for the morphs, they are odd power-ups that are activated as soon as you acquire them, which is admittedly one of its only real disadvantages over B.O.B. as you may not get to use it to its fullest and instead make you feel awkward for even acquiring it. You can acquire Bomb Morph when there’s no enemies nearby, Drill Morph or Buggy Morph when you are trying to go up, or Parachute Morph when you are trying to go down. The Missile Morph was practical for ascending in Absolute Zero given its level layout, and Jet Morph let you fly in Superstructure. Those two were the best power-ups, but they only appeared for those respective levels since morphs are tied to specific stages or we’d be acting like fish in the air.

The game is, as I’ve said, really hard. As I’ve said, enemies can come from you out of the screen to ambush you if you keep moving, but even from a positioning standpoint, there are enemies that can hit you from above diagonally, notably the turrets that show up in just about every level. Also, you cannot hit foes off-screen, so don’t think you can pull some sniper shenanigans which makes dealing with the enemies much harder. Oh and because your default shot is in a straight line, there may come points where hitting the enemy is actually difficult and this especially becomes apparent with the bosses, and they are the hardest parts of the game. The first boss has you avoid the boulders hanging on the wings and avoiding any bomb barrages while hitting the jet. The second boss is actually one of the worst bosses in the game because the perspective is trippy, you can only shoot in 3 directions, you have those flying robots shooting you from the side, and you gotta jump over them all while shooting the boss in front of you. The third boss is easily cheesed. The fourth boss is really frustrating with how difficult it is to avoid their shots just by trying to jump over them, but if you manage to keep shooting downward diagonally from above, you should get it down. The three phase penultimate boss does take up a bit of your time and the Piranha is the worst of the three since if you shoot it at the wrong time, it will move fast and trying to jump over it will be impossible without taking a hit. The final boss is a DPS race where you need to down it in 1 minute and 30 seconds as soon as you get up the tornado, but trying to aim for him is difficult due to its hitbox being conveniently below your highest jump point and above ground level. This makes it really frustrating to hit, and you need to worry about dodging him if he gets too close and if you damage him enough, he’ll just unleash shots that you also need to avoid. You can go under him through a moving platform, but only if you’re on the left as you will need to jump over him if you are right.

But if you can get past its difficulty, it’s a good game with some genuinely impressive 3D style visuals and a boppin soundtrack that fits the futuristic atmosphere the game has. It’s also quite flashy with so many enemies to shoot and in turn, so many explosions on screen.

Cleared on May 3rd, 2024

I’m not going to pretend to be a film critic with high standards and say that Barnyard is a terrible film because I really love the movie. It does heavily play off tropes seen in other animated films like Lion King and Toy Story, the tone shift can feel jarring at points such as the emotional apex of the film being followed up a few minutes later with a dance number and boy tipping, and don’t even get me started on the male cow udders. But I just love how chaotic and surreal it is just from cows doing stupid shit alone, but it also has some surprising emotional weight to it and there’s a sincere effort in its storytelling and characters. Plus, it’s one of the few movies to use its pop culture songs exceptionally well and even helps to capture the American culture with farmlands, the personalities, and wild parties.

I’ve been aware of the game based on the movie for a long time, but I didn’t think much of it besides the fact that you can squirt milk. I would’ve thought of it as just a run of the mill licensed game, but as I learned more about it through gameplay and archives of a streamer I watch regularly, I realized there might actually be more to it, and it was… high quality? And it’s not even me being nostalgically attached to the characters or the movie because it turns out I’m not alone on it. How is that even possible?

A key aspect of Barnyard and its TV series is goofing around and having wild parties, and since there’s so much going on in the movie, making it into a collection of minigames on top of the core gameplay would make the most sense. But I think what makes Barnyard more interesting is that they didn’t just make it where you go from one level to the next, but made the game an open world where you have to manually move your character from one point to the next in order to do the next mission. The world itself doesn’t feel too small that it's confined, but it’s not even that large where it feels more like a glorified loading screen than it does actually playing the game, and there’s a lot to do in the world. You can explore for recipe rocks across the world, and find notes on trees and fences for game tips with the earlier ones seeming blatantly obvious, but later ones may even prove useful and give you some lore tidbits that the movie or even the TV series never really touch on. You can go to the vegetable farm to collect crops which are all used for recipes except for cabbage because it’s nasty, you can collect an egg a day from the chickens, and you can go honey collecting in a stealth minigame to hide from the bees and steal honey from the bees which could then be used for recipes. And there are a few secrets across the world that even I haven’t found all of yet, so if exploration is your thing, it’s bound to keep you interested.

The game follows a mission based structure and all of them are mandatory, even ones that have you playing minigames. The game has a day and night cycle which lasts in real time around 15 minutes. You’re not actually playing as Otis or any of his friends this time around, but instead you’re playing as an OC (Original Cow) named, gendered, and customized to your choice. My character is a female angus named Milla because if I’m going to be staring at cow ass throughout the game and squirting milk, then it might as well be a girl. Also, I don’t even think the milk that comes out of the guys is actually… anyway, you do missions for the characters. Some can be as simple as fetch quests, others may have you putting your squirting skills to use, and others will have you play minigames. The core gameplay is, of course, the one where you control the cow on two legs. It does feel heavy at first to the point where I thought my emulator was running the game slowly, but you get used to it after a while. Once you get sunglasses, you can proceed to squirt milk which is only really applicable for a few minigames. You can also fuck with the characters and squirt on them. It should be noted that it has only five ammo until you are able to acquire a milk container on the ground which can be quite inconvenient if you find yourself far away from a container when you need it most. You can also lock on your enemies, so it ends up feeling like a third person shooter in a sense.

The minigames themselves are quite a lot, and if I go over all of them in detail, we’d be here all day. But to give you a brief rundown.
Mud Jumpers has you on a platform spinning pipes and timing your jumps and kicks to avoid getting knocked off. It’s a game about choosing your reaction and preparing for whatever move your foe makes. It’s an easy game to understand.
Sharp Squirters has you shoot at cans laid out across the area. The more cans you shoot within a short time frame, the better your score will be.
Barnyard Pool is a simple game of pool, but the catch is that you have two different color of balls assigned to both you and Duke (your opponent). If you shoot Duke’s color into the hole, it is considered a foul and he gets two free turns. However, it is possible for him to do the same by accident and you get two free turns. If either of you shoot the white ball into the hole, it’s also a foul, and if you directly touch the black ball before clearing all out all of your colors, it’s a foul. It’s not that hard, but you will need good accuracy for a high score.
Tease the Mailman and its variant Tease Ms. Beady has you performing poses through a series of button presses and then dropping down when the Mailman or Mr. Lump turns around. Doing 5 button prompts is ideal although if you think the mailman will turn around before you can complete the pose, you can opt to squeeze in a 3 or 4 button prompt pose.
Bike Racers has you race the Jersey Cows. You’ll be doing it quite a few times with different courses across the area, and you’ll luckily be accustomed to the controls since biking is how you’ll travel across the Barnyard, anyway.
Chasing Chicks has you picking up chicks and going to a designated target to throw them towards their coop. But it won’t be simple since you’ll be competing with Otis and later on the Jersey Cows for the most points. The latter won’t be as big of an issue as they may end up being busy squirting each other.
Vegetable Patch Defenders has you squirting at raccoons to stun them to allow you to throw them out and ensuring that at least 10 vegetables are not stolen. You also need to close the fences and prepare for raccoons that will attack you directly.
Honey Hunt has you going through a stealth mission to collect Honey. Unlike other minigames where you are competing for the high score, it will actually net you Honey which you can net up to 3 a day (in-game time, of course)
Chicken Coop Defenders has you protecting eggs against raccoons. You squirt them and throw them, but to get the high score, you need to let them steal eggs, intercept them, and go to a designated spot to throw the eggs. That is easier said than done, especially once the enemies start to outnumber you. Another variant involves the coyotes trying to steal the chicks, but you cannot throw the coyotes.
Chicken Launcher is where you launch Peck and have him fly through rings and at the end fly through windows. It’s one of the cooler minigames on paper, but in execution, it might just be one of the worst because of how sensitive Peck’s aerial controls are. It becomes difficult for precise movement and trying to get the best window for the high score takes a lot of trial and error.
Gopher Golf is a recurring one that they will have you play six times… yeah, the game sure loves its golf. It’s not your traditional golf or even mini-golf for that matter. What you have to do is tee-off and then let the gophers steer the ball to the goal. For the first four missions, it’s about how fast you can get the ball there although getting a hole-in-one by some chance will allow you to gain an extra life which will net you extra points. However, the last two golf missions are about making the shot in as few shots as possible. The final golf mission is such bullshit, and I didn’t even get a star because of how difficult the layouts are. Also, Hole 14 in general is ass. It has a guide hole that you need to aim at up on a slope, I got it into the guide hole and it can still bounce off of it.
Whack-A-Rac is one of the few actually optional mini-games that has you whack raccoons, but because Freddy is looking for Peck in the machine, he will pop up every now and then and should be avoided. Also eggs and chicken will also pop up and those need to be avoided too, but coyotes will pop up and those definitely need to be hit for the high score.
Joy Ride has you going on a ride in the farmer’s truck to race against the Jersey Cows on Ms. Beady’s car. It’s not that difficult, but it’s another one of those games that they have you do very often.
Milk Bar has you sliding milkshakes onto the customers to knock them back into the curtains. If they aren’t far away enough, they’ll throw a glass at you that you need to pick up or else you lose points. If you’ve ever played the retro game known as Tapper, that’s basically the same idea.
Barnyard Darts is another optional minigame where you can challenge Root to a game of darts. You have your own color to shoot and so does he. If you hit the enemy color, Root gets points. Now since his AI is so good, he will never hit your target and always hit his, but even if you hit one or two of his targets, you can actually gang up on him in points if you shoot early since it will give you an additional 10 points. Meanwhile, Root will only net around 2 points from the time bonus at most
Cow Tipping has you launch tomatoes at kids trying to tip over cows in order to scare them off, but another variant has you stopping raccoons and unlike the kids, they will actually try to put up a fight. There is one more variant of the minigame, but it is actually the game’s final boss against Dag, and it’s… well, not very good, but most of my problem stems from the annoying music although once you figure out you can lower the music volume by 1 star, crank up the speech volume by 5 stars, and turn on You Gotta Move by Aerosmith (the song that played during the final battle of the movie), it’s not so much of an issue. But the fact I had to rely on outside music to enhance the experience does not add any points.

There’s some good songs in the soundtrack although it seems like many of them are ripped from outside sources such as instrumentals from other songs, and I don't know how many of them are even original. There are some day time songs that show up, but the problem is that I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of them because the bike music during the daytime will override any song playing and either pause or reset the current song (I don’t remember which) and you’ll be spending a lot of your time in-game on the bike. For some reason, that rule does not apply when riding a bike at night and the overworld song plays as normal. Apparently there’s a good amount of unused songs in the game, and supposedly more songs exclusive to the Wii version of the game.

There is an incentive to try to explore the area and get the highest score in minigames. If you manage to get a star rank on at least 20 minigames, you can be crowned the Barnyard Champion surpassing even Otis. There are Gopher Coins you can acquire through missions and breaking crates which allow you to buy equipment to enhance the barnyard during the night. Other than two minigames, they are merely cosmetic, and you can’t even play pinball since the partygoers are always hogging the game. I don’t even think you can even ride the mechanical human for that same reason, but I never bothered to check if you can. You could bust a move on the dance floor, though. The purpose of it, though, is to get you additional awards including milkweeds which will take you to secret areas for more coins and other secrets and bonus content as well as Gold Rush tokens which you can head for a stump around the map to start a coin trail that you will need to follow under a time limit. Some stumps net more than others and the best one is near the junkyard which will net 200 gopher coins. When you get to 100% barn completion, you get to be the Number One Party Animal once again surpassing even Otis.

If that sounds like some mary sue plot where you just inserted yourself into the plot of Barnyard… well, at least it takes place in its own canon and being a video game, it does get away with it. It follows the plot of the movie, and I wouldn’t say it's “abridged”. It even adds in a few things not in the movie like the raccoon problem, but some of the cooler moments of the movie happened off-screen and seemingly in an instant. The characters are there and they are in character for the most part, but they don’t really feel at their best. Doesn’t exactly help that their character models are uhh… let’s just say reeks of PS2 that much I can say. Of course it is a 6th generation game, so it’s not to say it’s a bad thing, but at the same time, you do need to come to terms that this is a PS2 game from 2006. Also, there is limited voice acting in this one. I understand there’s a lot of dialogue, but it feels weird that they have audio at the beginning of each conversation and then again at the end. I feel like it would’ve been better if they had full audio for the actual important scenes. In case you’re wondering, all of the voice actors from the movie are all intact, even Kevin James as Otis when he would later be voiced by Chris Hardwick in the TV series, although I don’t think that was a tall order in this case since they didn’t have many lines they need to say.

What I love about this game is that it manages to capture what I love about the movie in the first place. At one point it’s a chaotic madhouse of partying and games, but another, it can feel calm and atmospheric like staring off into the moon on top of Ben’s Hill at night while listening to beautiful acoustic music. Fun fact, staring off into the moon was how I accidentally found two notes and a recipe rock that I likely would not have found on my own otherwise. I never found myself bored even when playing it for 8 hours straight at one point because there is just so much to do. Different ways to optimize your gold gain, the new areas to explore, and all of the minigames. There is unfortunately nothing left for the game once you become Barnyard Champion and Number One Party Animal. You could play minigames for the fun of it, try to scour for bonuses you haven't got yet, or maybe just replay the game 5 years from now and experience it all over again. But the journey was a lot of fun, and it’s already become one of my favorite licensed games of all time.

Cleared on May 2nd, 2024

First of all, this review or even my knowledge of the game would not have been possible without @duhnuhnuh. You’re really generous for gifting the steam key gift.

Strikey Sisters is a fantastical and energetic take on a genre of block breakers that is so simple that even a middle schooler with Scratch could develop. Instead of a paddle, you have magicians swinging magic balls, clearing blocks and taking on enemies and bosses on a quest to get their pet bat back.

Surprisingly, the game not only has a premise, but also cutscenes and even voice acting. The bad news is that my feelings are very mixed. It’s not that I have a problem with an Arkanoid/Breakout style game having a story or anything, it’s designed to be a comedy that doesn’t take itself too seriously which makes it good for chuckles in-between stages or more specifically before a boss fight begins, and I did get some amusement here and there. The problem is that the main leads can feel very predictable and repetitive after a while. Marie is a diet Lina Inverse where she’s brash and rude with a pursuit of luxury and a confident magician attitude. The problem is that some of her jokes feel kinda mean and she’s just picking fights for no reason other than just because. Though to be fair, Elene tries to be polite to the bosses, and still ends up rubbing some of them the wrong way. As for Elene, she whines a lot. I know she’s concerned about her pet, but they could have cut it down by half, and we’d have still got the point of how over-sensitive she is. The rest of the characters consist of the bosses which have one scene and a few lines of dialogue during boss fights. This makes them fairly one note although you may remember a few for very bizarre reasons such as that one monster that name dropped Monsters Inc. No, not some parody of the movie, but Monsters Inc. straight up. To further drive home that point, in the credits, we have Mike and Sully watching the movie with the monster in question. And moments later, on an unrelated note, we could see another boss with… Wile.E Coyote… huh? Monsters Inc I guess I get since they are monsters, but the hell does Wile.E have to do with Strikey Sisters? I hope the royalties they have to pay are worth the joke. The biggest problem I have with the story is that some of the cutscenes take a bit too long, and it wouldn’t be such a problem if some of the dialogue didn’t feel deliberately padding.

The voice acting is something else I should bring attention to, and depending on your standards for voice acting, you might either think it's fine or really grating. As someone who watches anime exclusively with English audio, I’m definitely on the side that thinks it's fine. It’s very amateur, but it does have charm to it. Even though I kinda ragged on Marie, her voice actress wasn’t too bad, and I even thought she was voiced by Sarah Wiedenheft at first because of how similar they sounded. Omri Rose voiced all of the male characters, and he did a good job making me convinced there was at least one or two other male actors involved.

As for the game itself, it takes the usual block breaker genre routine and puts a lot more action into it. Each level has enemies that will stand in your way of clearing all the blocks with means of trying to mess with you. You have enemies that will try to waste your time with defensive tactics while others will try to attack your character directly either through melee approach or through projectiles. They are well varied which means you’ll need to take note of what they do and strategize accordingly, and luckily you have your own arsenal of skills to help you. You can not only bump the ball with your body, but you can swing your sword at the ball to increase its speed and width in which you are able to hit the ball, and it's also useful for enemies that get too close or to just block projectiles. You can even charge the attack to launch the ball faster and give it enough force to take down a block in one hit when it would take two, and it does more damage to enemies and deflects projectiles. In addition, you have spells and buffs which drop off of enemies and you’ll need to pick up as it heads toward you. Here’s my ranking from least useful to most useful.

Slow Ball can be usable in more frantic scenarios where you need better reaction time, and allow you to better aim your swing at the ball. The thing is, it doesn’t always come at the best time which slows the pacing of the game, and even contributes to an issue that I have with all block breaker games. That one moment where the ball is just bouncing around the field making no progress while you slowly wait it out like the DvD logo bouncing around the screen. If you could actually control when you activate it, it would be so much better.
Fireball is one of those “better that you have than you don’t” power ups where it's nice to have, but it isn’t always practical. When it bounces around, it leaves trails of fire that when touched, will damage the enemies. The issue is that it only works on grounded enemies, and if you accidentally get it while Iron Ball is active, it overrides the buff.
Monster Trap is another “better than you have than you don’t” spells except it's more useful in that it lasts indefinitely which means that the chances of them landing on it are better than Fireball flames, but the positioning of the traps are randomized and monsters move so slow that you might end up taking them down already before they can get close to the traps.
Lightning is a nice spell to have for randomized damage across the board, but the downside besides its randomness is that it can make 100% runs more difficult if you aren’t careful. You don’t have to collect all of the coins that come out of the blocks, but you do need to collect at least 60% of the coins for the green gems, and sometimes 70% for hidden levels.
Speed is a good power up for covering more ground, especially in single player mode where the board distance feels much wider, but very few times has it ever come in clutch for me.
Spread Shot gives you more controlled damage compared to Lightning, but it only hits four targets and sometimes may not land where you intend to, at least concerning narrow spaces.
Double Ball is a great power up to have, and it's easier to maintain in this game compared to others in the genre. It still takes a bit of skill, but it does synergize really well with the other ball power ups. Even Slow Ball since it gives you more time to react.
Bombs are launched towards all enemies on the field, and after a few seconds detonates and blow them up. Generally, they can avoid it just by getting out of the way, but most of the time, they would be too slow and get hit.
Dark flame gives you more controlled damage in a straight line and pierces through all blocks and enemies. It is very useful for harder to reach blocks and if positioned well can take down up to two columns of blocks.
Both Shield and Chicken give you extra protection and healing which is insanely invaluable as you only have three lives before you have to start the level from the beginning. Not much to say there.
Iron Ball is the ultimate power up and should be acquired with every chance possible. It will go right through blocks, allowing you to speedrun levels. It doesn't always swing in your favor, but at least early on in each level, you are bound to gain some value out of it.

And you’re really going to need these powers because the game is hard. It does translate the level progression format better than pinball games when they try to adopt the idea, but this is a game where you bounce balls on bricks, so precision, foresight, and even luck play a hand in the game. Not only can certain layouts be a real pain, such as when blocks are behind multiple pillars, but some enemies can be difficult in their own right. The hardest ones are the set of enemies during the final area and the mechanical area. There are units that take a lot more damage than normal and explode if they get close enough, there are units that burrow underground and strike with little warning unless you keep moving to avoid the attack in advance, and there are units that will shoot faster than you can block with your swings. The worst part is that oftentimes these harder enemies will force you at a major positional disadvantage. If they attack while the ball is heading in your direction, you may not be able to deflect the ball at the risk of taking damage, and of course, let’s not forget the accuracy of your shots when dealing with enemies will not go in your favor, and they may be positioned to where it’s even harder to hit them and they will infinitely spawn until you clear the blocks or in the case of the boss, until you defeat them.

The bosses are really difficult. Well, a good majority of them, anyway. What many of them have in common is that you cannot hit them up front as they will deflect your shots and need to hit them from the side or back, or with a spell which is a tall order as is, but combine that with all the blocks and enemies in your way, not to mention a barrage of attacks you need to worry about. Get comfortable because it’s gonna take awhile. That said, most of the bosses have only two attacks and one enemy type to worry about, but those attacks may be enough to give you serious trouble such as the succubus that can teleport to you and strike which will force you in a very bad position. My favorite fight in the game is Erin, the policewoman as she is the only boss fight (maybe aside from both phases of the final boss combined) with four attacks and for some reason uses one of the final boss themes as if she was meant to be a superboss (when in reality she’s one of the easier fights from what I remember)

The soundtrack adds to the game’s enjoyment with each zone having its own theme, and the upbeat tune really blends well with the world and its cute artstyle and colorful pixelated graphics. Some highlights include Valdia’s Theme, Elysaid’s Theme, Odavius’ Theme, Lord Vanik’s Hideout, and all of the boss themes.

And when you’re done with the game, there are a bunch of extra levels that you can do, and while I’ve yet to do all of them, I think I’ve played enough of the game to give my assessment.

TL;DR: Strikey Sisters is a great way to experience block breaking to make it more dynamic while minimizing the inherent repetitiveness. Instead of keeping you engaged for maybe 3 rounds at most, it can keep you engaged for over 60 levels with its enemy variety, powerful spells in your arsenal, and the pursuit of mastery through collection of green gems and filling in the bestiary. It took me 7 hours to clear the main game, but I imagine that it’ll take me more time just to clear the extra levels with all 3 stars each. If you see this game on sale, it might be worth looking into, and there’s no harm in keeping it in your storage since it only has 60 megabytes.