The final mission is one of the most out of left field and satisfying veers into fantasy in any game I've played. ALL HAIL THE PANZERKNACKER!

The Sushi is Raw, erm, thanks itamae-san?

For (immense, intense) research purposes.

More immense, intense research.

Why did he force me to place second, again?

Like free pizza at an anime convention.

a Ridge Racer for the skies. The rapid distance drawing keeps you on your toes^, one of the only flying games I know of where sharp reflexes are of greater importance to planned precision. It's an arcade game through and through, with mastery being the only end goal. Fine by me! Just make sure to turn the guide off. And I have no idea what those balloons are there for, somebody aughta shoot 'em down!!

^really only affects the already modest visuals' integrity, I think it's more of a feature for the surprisingly twitchy gameplay. The bigger downside is how little controlling your elevation matters (even discouraged with the amount of times you'll "Course Out" when first playing). Despite being an immediately satisfying game to race through, it sure is restrictive in its play space.

Rez (2001), Dreamcast - the genesis
Rez (2002), PS2 - the vibration
Rez HD (2008), 360 - the widescreen
Rez Infinite (2016), PS4 - the virtual reality
Rez Infinite (2017), PC - the unlimited resolution
Rez Infinite (2020), OQ2 - the freedom from wires
Rez Infinite (2023), PS5 - the ability to shoot shit down with your fuckin' EYES, dude!^
Rez Infinite (202X), ??? - the lack of any sort of barrier between you and Rez.

^ehhh except you still have to move your head around to be able to have the enemies in the camera's centered view for the eye targeting to reach them. Not sure if that's a limitation of a 22 year old game or the drawback to a spiffy new $550 machine^^^ (heavens forbid!), but despite the allure, it's not exactly the end state for what Rez could potentially become given the true next generation of VR can bring, which includes not having a helmet on at all. Rez Infinite on PSVR2 is another qualitative "improvement" upon perhaps the most thrilling artistic vision that has ever come from video games. Certainly my most cerebral inducing experience, one that I continue to revisit and grow on. This is only the "definitive" edition for the time being, the possibilities for what Rez can metamorphize into, depending on technology, still feels more than finite.

^^Which is of course actually $600 with tax included, let's not kid ourselves of reality around here!

Got your Elden Ring demake right here.

A very faithful VR update/remake of the original Fantavision, which means it will never beat the mid allegations, but playing this with the fancy new toy that is the Playstation VR 2 makes the fireworks pop and sparkle more than they ever did in 480i. It's over in an hour, half of the stages are basically repeats, and nothing new is added gameplay wise outside of being able to move the cursor with PSVR2's sense controllers, which makes the whole ordeal breezy but only moderately more enjoyable. This may have been a hoot if it had been released on the original PSVR's launch just to demonstrate how old games translate well into 3D rendering, but it's 2023 and outdated tech demos (of an already outdated tech demo) are the last things VR needs right now.

The level design is top notch for what it is, classic Doom styled 2.5D FPS mazes. Very playable despite the obscene circumstances. Looks acceptable when using the Analogue Pocket, not emulation. Those last three levels are a total bitch though, and god damn if the end boss isn't a super sponge. Text only cutscenes are boring, even if it's still better told than the movie. I kinda wish the cancelled PS2 version saw the light of day, more people would probably give it a chance (and those last few levels would probably be less frustrating).

A shmup lullaby with the pacing of Goodnight, Moon. One step forward from Galaga's picture book. Nintendo's blackest sheep. I had been struggling with this one for a week, trying at least a dozen times each day but never getting past Level 5. Then I had sex and to cool off picked it up again only to beat it on my first attempt (with 5 lives left)! Having trouble with your widdle game, bros? Get laid. Seriously.

An ode to gimmicks, with the form of meager bite sized chunks of side content littered around five long, stretched out levels. Half of a game, quarter of a decent one. These two, who were only great on their original shared platform, were always doomed for a crossover. Has the gall to make you go back and collect every gem right before being able to tackle the final boss. No thanks.

There's no reason not to immediately play this follow-up after completing the first game; not only does it pick up where it left off story wise, but also it adds onto where the median difficulty ended up. The title screen even refers to the new levels as "Part 2". At the end of the day they offer practically identical experiences with different level designs, so it is clear that these two games are best played back to back. When doing so, you actually feel a lot more satisfied because the amount of content when combined is much more appreciable. On their own, they are paltry lengthed.

The cast of characters and enemies are the same, the controls and mechanics are shared wholesale, and the jagged 2D/3D mishmash aesthetic isn't "improved" upon whatsoever (not a bad thing). Even the bosses from the first game return, exactly how they were, in the context of a cool boss rush mode. Speaking of, the new big bads are surprisingly far more dynamic and actually rather stunning when compared to the first game's vanilla encounters. It's the only aspect that SEGA felt to pizzazz up rather than keep the same.

Clockwork Knight 1/2 are certainly still worth playing, mind you. Not in today's world of retro revivals will you get an experience quite like this. Its inherent nicheness and forever-exclusivity to one of the biggest flops in console history will mean that your own time playing it will feel a lot more special than the ubiquity of more well known releases.