mods used listed on my pastebin post, addendum regarding Steam release in comment

There’s a tendency in art, be it subconsciously or preemptively, to judge the first entry with the lofty expectations that have since permeated the public due to the success and improvements built/expanded/uplifted upon later entry - or entries - within that lineage. Not that this is a wrong way of approaching something, but it does mean that the first title’s idiosyncrasies and quirks are immediately scoffed at and treated as “obtrusive”, instead of something to work within the confines of and how those elements, specifically, play a part in the holistic quality of that outing to begin with. That said, things get critiqued for a reason; the camera, while not nearly as irksome as those would have you believe, has a tendency to work against the established structure of the dioramic, square(-adjacent) design of the screen in question. Take Monstro for example: normally within the Chambers, it follows within that design philosophy, many of the rooms being spacious in both horizontal and vertical space to allow for expansive range and control, as you worm your way through the digestive maze. Closing off, however, is the Stomach room, a large cylinder players would have to fight and platform in to reach the ‘throat’ of the whale, itself also being a tight circle of a room state. From this, the camera shifts and swerves wildly, resulting in lackadaisical direction and disorientation. It’s fine, but it’s a bit removed from the more tightly centered FOV and camera following from before. This isn’t an isolated incident, since similar room layouts cause these issues to begin with, such as in Deep Jungle’s rock climbing Waterfall room being tightly compacted in a large slate, or Neverland’s ship because Hook thought it would be funny to induce motion sickness by having everything so cramped and congested within the internals of the ship. Still, it’s not as if it’s a commonality within the game, and there’s ways to ameliorate it - between you and me, I wouldn’t exactly suggest using the Lock On at all times, helps cut down on the shifting nature.

The Lock On, as a use case, serves as a great transition to talk about a difference of approach in accordance to a lack of physical attributes starting off. See, utilizing the RPG half of the Action RPG moniker, I opted for a Proud Mode, Wand Boon/Sword Drop, with a starting Dusk journey… plainly speaking, Hard wherein XP procurements are pour in quicker on LV51 beyond, capped off by specializing in Magic over Strength. Due to the fact I was largely settling on more utility-driven abilities than pure offensive/defensive ones - my only defensive maneuver for a long while was Dodge Roll, and even Ripple Drive, an actual attacking move, is largely dictated and affected by how high my Magic stat currently is - this meant placing a lot more emphasis on passive->reactive stances within fights, a majority of which are rewarded and found from a mechanic called Tech Points. The matches against Tidus, Wakka, Selphie and Riku are great tutorials about the tools of the trade regarding spacing (executing the trigger range of Wakka’s short range attacks into either his back-dash attack launch or the spin reaction he does if too close), tells to activate an attack and trigger i-frame and/or any form of “break” within their assault (both Riku and Tidus have moves that activate an invuln period for Sora, as well as one move in particular activating a ‘stagger’ state to launch counterattacks on), and most importantly, actually allowing a stun period against these oppositions to begin with (Selphie has about two animation cycles regarding this, one attack reaction where she spins away after and recuperates, and another where she’s pushed back, already a slightly generous window made even better once the jump rope she’s holding bonks her on the head and lowers her guard more). With each newfound retort found, the game rewards you with TP, which in turn grants XP, which in turn bolsters your repertoire in the future. The Colosseum bouts against Yuffie, Leon, and Cloud are evolutions of these Destiny Island quartet, upon which you innately have a reaction form against them ahead of time - Yuffie’s spacial gap and priority on Shuriken tosses can be turned against her by locking onto Leon and swinging the Keyblade unto his direction, thereby attacking him and causing a stun, all the while you focus on minimizing her distance advantage as well as increase the pressure to prevent her from healing; Leon’s twirls, thrusts, and downward dive with his Gunblade are reminiscent of the jump rope attacks Selphie was doing prior, with similar timing and animation lengths to boot, and the added attack of his swift Fireball can quickly become a tool of your arsenal with a quick flick of the blade; Cloud is akin to the buckwild downpour states Riku and Tidus were dishing out, more precise and to the point comparatively yet nonetheless able to be blocked and counteracted, as well as indulging in suitable i-frame states from this. And, hey, if all else fails, taking lessons from Sora’s favorite Italian plumber and just jumping towards them willy nilly is as effective.

This isn’t just limited to those seven either, a majority of the bosses and enemies can be downsized on their threat level by making use of every component of this playstyle, and even they can use this against you. Jafar’s two phases both revolve around gap-closing and aerial meetup in either physical or elemental damaging, Hercules’ headcharge, the Soldiers’ spin cycle, and the Powerwilds’ leg sweeps can all be nulled by just counteracting it with an attack, Ursula Phase 2, Chernobog, Wizard (initially, more on this later) and some of Hades’s attacks put the pressure on staying back until a break in each allow for assault, and Cerberus, Kurt Zisa, Xemnas Unknown, and Sephiroth all incorporate all of this when going against them. Be they obvious ripostes or intuit response conclusions, you’d be surprised how many enemies - and, within the ruleset and engagement factor, the player in question - can be thrown for a swerve when approached by something that isn’t under the (unintuitive) mantra of “Mash Attack Button Repeatedly” akin to a low level understanding of Devil May Cry’s workings. In fact, I wanna go back to something I had brought up prior - it seems as if some people forget that the RPG portion of the formula isn’t just for influencing what abilities you get, or a soft reminder to check for resistances, or the fact that you actually go into the settings and change the behavioral state of Donald & Goofy for each given situation, lest you fall for bandwagon memes jabbered by poor, unfortunate souls. The MP bar, alongside being a modular mechanic that rewards action and engagement of an enemy (with passive reaction from damage coming later), is a sliding scale that influences the intensity of each spell’s might, which in turn means chillin in the back and just launching fireballs, not to mention how this further enhances a Summon’s power and time allocation. Each of said spells available on the kit also function differently, having a dedicated niche that doesn’t underplay their own strengths or overplay another’s. Fire’s single-shot covers up to a mid-range hori/verti distance while boasting a soft tracking hone, Blizzard’s shotgun blast is an all-rounding tool covering each of the difference between you and an enemy, Thunder’s box AoE and its capabilities to target any enemy, anywhere, makes it the absolute best case for any upcoming threats, Cure and Stop are self-explanatory and become even better when paired with Leaf Bracer (ability that grants invulns for that casting period) and Gravity’s percentage-based damage output optimized to its full power on even numerous bosses, and Aero’s fantastic defense both on the outset and with subsequent upgrades is a mainstay the moment you obtain it.

If there’s any advice for this game, and all KH games after, it’s this: never, ever, neglect the effectiveness and usage of your magic. Put all of these together, equip any necessary items to bolster whatever stat you desire, combine with Keyblade innately providing shorter or longer reaches on top of their benefits, and you have an ARPG that wonderfully incentivizes experimentation and its coexistence of interactivity statuses within not only the combat field, but outside of it. A Sliding Dash onto an unsuspecting foe leads to either a Thunder or a full combo for maximum Ripple Drive damage; launching Fire repeatedly onto Captain Hook to activate a trigger state of him running around with his ass on fire, while de-prioritizing him and re-oriented the target onto a Battleship that’s entered the field and pelt it with Gravity on its mast; get Cloud into a state of neutrality, then unleash the Stop Wombo Combo, in tandem with Ars Arcanum and its related Attack Techniques being nigh unblockable; have Goofy’s shield and/or your Fire/Ice magic on deck to counteract a Defender’s prep assault force, thereby exploiting their soft spots and dishing damage; Aerora/ga, the upgraded forms, allows for an ongoing tick damage rate when near an enemy('s weak point), which in turn finally allows whittling of the aforementioned Wizard during their Thunder casting; Blizzard upon the candles of Traverse Town, or the Blazers in Olympus, or the stove within Wonderland, or the bubbles in Hollow Bastion to allow for an (de-)activation state of whatever is being utilized for personal reward - and in the case of Wonderland, completely void Trickmaster’s baton ignition states; that’s just a few immediate examples I can think of, and I haven’t even mentioned some of my favorite enemy interactables regarding Invisible and Fat Bandit. While I surely made use of it, by the time I had unlocked Guard, I had to remind myself I even had it equipped, since everything I just listed had me prepped and aware of anything that I’ll face in the future.

Of course, all of this is under the assumption you will be on flat, solid ground level, which isn’t always the case. This is where the secret sauce of being a dope 3D platformer comes into play, since the verticality and various fractal design of both the floor and the height of obstacles to climb/avoid. Sora’s kit regarding these are all finely-tuned to not provide too much trouble, incorporating a hefty jump with decent momentum and inertia carry from however and wherever he was moving from. Traverse Town is a known example of each new Shared ability adding on to the movement arsenal, and Hollow Bastion is the full realization of it by delving into puzzle solving, leaping across various platforms and holdovers to traverse the facility’s grounds, the first three worlds I had mentioned back at the beginning can also be used as examples of what I mean when it comes to combat, but I’ll throw a curveball and instead praise Atlantica, a great world thrown under fire for being completely different from its brethren. Since it’s an underwater world and you got transformed into a mermaid, swings feel and hit in a lot more basic manner than before… which in turn, highly encourages magic usage in order to even the playing field. With each of the areas’ depth being intertwined by either a rising or sinking floatility, magic becomes the de-facto answering call when going against a group of enemies, and it becomes much more important to refactor Keyblade reaches or Strength boosts, as well as Donald’s AI properties for offensive spell casting, in order to call for the times you do need to get back to hitting things. As said earlier, Blizzard’s shotgunning and Thunder’s reign makes mincemeat of damn near anything that’ll stand in your way no matter where and how enemies are positioned, and even Ursula and her two hencheels aren’t so bad since they, too, are also affected by magic to a fair degree. The backtracking structure of this world - and really, most of the world in general - isn’t even a bother, since the conveyance and signposting are all in great shape and there’s barely anything that fluffs the actual exploration bits other than early Synthesis grinds. By the time I reached the end of this world, about 35 minutes had passed, and that’s even including the few deaths I procured in Ursula. As a whole, and even discounting my heavy experience with this title, I’d genuinely be shocked if people somehow managed to almost triple, let alone double, that length for every single world to begin with!

Truthfully, there’s a lot I can talk about regarding Kingdom Hearts, both its overarching reach and longevity, and the first game’s offset nature in combination of multiple different ideas blending together in ways not even its own series has 100% captured again. Tetsuya Nomura usually, and understandably, gets all the credit (and unrightful scorn of detached naysayers), but I think there’s a lot his team has done in order to help make the dream possible - in one case, Daisuke Watanabe, who not only helped write for most of the series, but was likely one of the key factors into giving this title’s mainly unique tone of melancholy and apocalyptic doom, having done Threads Of Fate and Final Fantasy 10 prior. The fractured mind and disparity of a trio torn asunder by forces beyond control or understanding, with many reveals and illumination of a covered past retroactively giving even greater weight to the narrative now than it ever was nearly 22 years prior. All this, and I’m still discovering unique attributes and ideas most ARPGs have yet to actually match. That’s the power of heart, baby.

What in the skibidi ad riddled fresh hell is this!! Short kings don't listen to this don't pay attention hnnng my short kings do not even conceive Tall Man Run do not give it the time of day. I'm of average height, and I played this, and I am elligible to review the product. Gentlemen, at what cost? It was free but I will never financially recover, if you know what I mean. Average day in Elon's neuralink shitass future if you will. Designing games like this shouldn't be allowed. My balls itch when I see my chonky guy go from hero to zero in the span of one (1) corridor. I can be your angle... or your worst nightmare... Fuck it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I need to believe it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

1 star review on the app store brigade... Assemble! Let's gooooo! Say no more. I already know what my opps are thinking "nooo this game is great you just didn't understand the themes graaah it's bigger than yourself" and I laugh as the trap I laid successfully ensnared my beloathed. Ahahah! How ironic. After the videogame crash of the 80s, the Nintendo Seal of Quality was one of the reasons gaming was brought back from the brink of death, to counter pure garbage products being passed around like a blunt. Now in the 2020s, expecting a crash any second now, and that seal would work wonders when evaluating those mobile games. Tall Man Run is not the worst offender, but it got me thinking about it, so good job Tall Man Run. Ten cryptocurrencies for Slytherins!

Hell naaah he shidded upgrades and currency adn fat how does he do this. Strictly speaking, he should not be doing that. How is the family gonna be fed if you're telling them to reject the food? This is what happens when you're the last person to go eepy at thz sleepover. And what the hell is that hub? A reject from Clash of Clans? Huh it is. Look up " Tall Man CoC" for more info. It be crazy the shit you do in that hub though. You stand in front of a building and the job gets done. You don't have a degree in any way form or shape. Very sus. It's not about a shitty pun like "stand tall" or something because the building sucks your height out of your soul. That's... 😳 okk u rizzed me up splendiferously. Now eat that guy. Yup that guy right there. Eat him up. Trust me it's for the good of Gotham City

New paragraph new bullshit. Believe my wholeheartedly I just do it cuz I'm forcing myself to have a format I don't have the strength to yap for a 5th paragraph I'm already struggling to milk the game's contents as is. But the Lord knows I won't finish the dam review without mentioning how it controls. There's no way bruh he dont go where I want. We takin Uber Eats I cant go eat this shit on my own 💯 that shit might have gone hard on Windows XP but comeon what am I doin in my life 😭 that post nut clarity ahh somethin else the tightest course on God's green earth is not what I was built for. It was to goon. My remains will be the final artistic touch in the pavement(tm) Made in Ohio

Hands down the sweatiest, most Mountain Dew and Doritos FPS I’ve ever played. Ubisoft is out here trying to revive the “MLG era” vibes in an attempt to break into the Esports scene by taking all the genre’s worst modern trends and mixing them together. Essentially creating a more obnoxious Call of Duty complete with half-hearted hero shooter elements and a free-to-play format to allow for the whole range of corporate greed monetization schemes, from Fortnite-style battle passes to your typical overpriced microtransactions.

A lot of this could have been forgiven, or at least ignored, were it not for how soulless the whole thing feels. Sure, I don’t exactly like how the higher than average default aiming sensitivity (and therefore the gunplay as a whole) is clearly geared towards the twitch reaction, trickshot crowd, but there’s no entry fee and it won’t absolutely devour your hard drive space in the same manner as its obvious Activision-published inspirations will. That’s really all this has going for it though. Not only is there a limited number of both maps and modes currently, but the whole thing is utterly devoid of personality.

Look, maybe I’m just not familiar enough with Ubisoft’s various properties. However, this pulling out and combining of several fractions from across a handful of their IPs fails to deliver the shared universe thrills you would hope to receive and that they were unquestionably going for. Outside of one set in a carnival which ends up seeming wildly out of place, the battlegrounds don’t distinguish themselves from what you would find in any other military-themed competitive offering. Meanwhile, the roster of playable characters carries no big or recognizable names. Instead it’s a cast of originals created exclusively for this who would be lucky to serve as background scenery NPCs in the title’s they’re supposedly representing. A rather self-defeating move I might add. I can’t imagine players would care enough to buy new skins for these losers…

The actual gameplay doesn’t fare much better. I appreciate the emphasis on more goal oriented match types that push teamwork and cooperation as a group. Yet, if you’re in the same boat I was and lack buddies who don’t also totally hate this then you’re in for a rough time. My word is XDefiant attracting the absolute lousiest audience. The majority of randos I got stuck with tended to pursue kills over playing the objective, and whenever I did land in lobbies with people using mics it was honest-to-goodness literally always Hispanic dudes casually dropping and/or calling others the n-word. And I must say that’s left me super confused. So is it still racist when they do it, or can any minority group use that slur with impunity now? Asking for a friend.

Not to mention, it’s not long until you realize how unbalanced some of these classes’ abilities are. For example, there’s almost no reason to ever select a member of the “Cleaners,” since they’re slow drone attacks put you at legitimate disadvantage when facing foes with the skills to turn borderline invisible, reveal enemy locations to their entire squad through walls, or pop a riot shield to mitigate incoming damage. Another factor that contributes to this being an overall dreadful mess to the degree that even upon getting “gud” enough to achieve that coveted MVP rank at the end of a victory, I wasn’t having much fun.

It’s rare for a game to leave me in a far poorer mood after playing it in the way this did, and you can check my review history to see I’ve suffered through my fair share of trash in the pretty recent past. Although I realize we haven’t exited the “pre-season” early days and that this could change significantly as it grows, I’ll be walking away regardless. The sad fact is there’s nothing provided to pull me away from Black Ops: Cold War anyways, an older entry in its own respective franchise. Ultimately causing XDefiant to easily fall among what I consider to be my least enjoyable online multiplayer experiences to date.

4/10

The review is below, but when you're done reading, feel free to get a free Steam game over in my giveaway
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Sights & Sounds
- With the indie minigolf game market already more than a little saturated, it really takes a lot for something to stand out. Wonderputt Forever, visually speaking, certainly manages to catch your eye
- Virtually every hole on each course is brimming with colorful detail. The game uses a rich and diverse palette to match the trippy and varied level designs
- I usually have a pretty good memory for music, but I had to go back and check out some YouTube playthroughs to recall this game's tunes. It's a bunch of meditative electronic music that evidently doesn't leave much of an impression
- The sound effects were pretty nice, especially the ambient ones providing a little auditory context for the scenery you putt your ball through. Not a huge thing, but it gives your ears a little more to latch onto in the void created by the uninspiring soundtrack

Story & Vibes
- Every now and then, you'll stumble across a little indie golf game that manages to layer a narrative (or at least a little lore) into the repetitive task of smacking a ball around. This isn't one of those games, though
- No, you just hit the ball into the hole, ideally in as few strokes as you can
- I do like how each course feels like a little stroll through a city, so that's nice, at least

Playability & Replayability
- Wonderputt doesn't really deviate much from your general minigolf formula. It just introduces some obstacles and mechanics (floating the ball through the air with a helicopter attachment, skipping it across water hazards, bouncing off platforms jump pads, firing out of cannons, etc.) across its 3 courses. In other words, it's a bunch of physics-based stuff that you've probably seen in a dozen other minigolf games
- It's not that there's anything wrong with the courses, mechanics, or level design in this game. It's just hard to really find anything unique or terribly exciting here. What the Golf? more or less plumbed the depths of what you can do mechanically in a game like this already, so it's a little hard to be impressed by anything contained here
- Beyond your traditional 3 courses, there's also a modifier-laden endurance mode that I didn't really delve much into. I was on a plane and landed before I could get too far
- These so-called "Geometry Trips" seem to represent a few meaty hours of post game content--if you want to think of it like that--but I wasn't really interested in continuing to play them. I probably wouldn't feel motivated to boot this one up until I fly again, and even then, there are more enticing options lurking on my Steam Deck

Overall Impressions & Performance
- The fact that I haven't touched this game since the plane ride I downloaded it for more or less encapsulates my impression. It's a fine enough way to pass a couple of hours in a cramped 737 economy seat, but it doesn't really have many tricks beyond its slick visuals
- Even so, it scratches that minigolf itch pretty well, runs well and looks good doing it on the Steam Deck, and has a fair asking price for the amount of content you get

Final Verdict
- 5/10. A pretty-looking minigolf game that offers a few physics based challenges, but there's not much in the package behind that

*Played via the Legendary Collection on PS4

Still the G.O.A.T in terms of the characters and interactions between your party members. I am knocking it down a point for the fact that despite the wonderfully told and written main story - including everything to do with your team and their loyalty missions, dialogue, etc. - the side content is actually really fucking boring. Scanning planets for resources sucks ass, the side missions themselves suck ass, and all of it feels very inconsequential and unnecessary.
I actually took a few months' break from the game during Act 2 of the story because I was just so bored with doing the side content. My gaming OCD would never allow me to shotgun main objectives without doing side missions first, however, so that soured my playthrough of the game for a little while until I had taken enough time to return to the game and complete it finally.

Am I playing a video game or visiting the fucking foreign exchange? Before the tutorial is even done, MultiVersus starts throwing its different currencies at you - the gems, the battle points, the diddly-doodlies, and then fucks right off, not even bothering to teach you the controls properly. Mobile gaming and its consequences have been a fucking disaster for the human race. MultiVersus is ostensibly a Smash clone making use of WB's many phagocytosed IPs, but in reality it's a front to sell you imaginary shit you don't need as hard as possible.

This game is so utterly banal, so sterile, so bereft of personality, so devoid of character, that it sparks no joy at all. The monkey's paw curled, and I realized a huge crossover between all these characters was better left as a pipe dream. Any smidgen of a stimulus has been carefully scrubbed out, with the art style sitting cozily between corporate training video and GrubHub ad, while the music never dares to edge near the foreground. It took me a while to realize that they actually were using musical motifs appropriate to the stages and characters, just that the soundtrack was arranged to be as same-y and unexciting as possible lest the customer switch out of 'buy' mode.

As for the gameplay... it's functional. There really isn't a lot to do, and the game feels very slow, and you spend more time looking at rewards screens screaming 'CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM' than you do actually playing. Almost none of the characters are unlocked by default, to force you to either grind for or buy them - it actually kind of shows how diluted Superman's brand has become that he's unlocked by default in a game this greedy. Guess we should accept Batman is the DC mascot now?

This is one of the most cynicism-inducing experiences I've ever had with a video game, and the second-fastest I've abandoned one. It's joever. The obvious attempts to fry your dopamine receptors don't even work anymore... Well, before I quit I did play against two people who had bought custom skins yet barely seemed to know which button did what (and I am by no means good at Smash), so maybe it does work on some folks.

Kinda crazy how, even tho it didn’t end up using any of Bloodborne’s characters and locations directly and spawning as a joke game of sorts with a really silly idea, it still is a far more interesting and cool use of the IP than whatever Sony has done with it for the past 9 years.

Nightmare Kart is one of those weird anomalies in which I’m completely baffled with how amazing it is even tho I really shouldn’t be; some months ago I watched my girlfriend play the entirety of Bloodborne PSX and I’m still super impressed at how much effort went to what’s essentially a re-imagination of the beginning hours of Bloodborne; all the enemies and NPCs look incredible in all of their polygon glory, the sound effects and compression is top notch, and the whole final section is completely original and has a focus on my man Gilbert! Basically, what I’m trying to say is that Lilith Walther is the GOAT, and that I’ve should have totally seen coming that what was originally meant to be Bloodborne Kart was going to be far more than a thing to point at and say ‘’HA! That werewolf is on a giant wheel-shaped kart!’’… I mean it’s also that but you get my point.

This game is so delightfully silly that I wish it had even more cutscenes to showcase it; there’s nothing better than to see Father Gascoine’s cutscenes being played completely straight only for a bike to appear out of thin air followed by Akira shot for shot references. It keeps the sensibilities and character mannerisms that made the original Yharnam so unique and adds on top of that a flare of stupidity that by doesn’t feel out of place ‘cause of how dumb yet self-serious the whole premise is. Seeing a Skeleton driving on Gherman’s wheelchair fucking sent me for some reason, and the Boar being one of the vehicles is such an obvious decision that I cannot believe I didn’t see it coming, yet is genius!

Till now I’ve been referring to all characters by their original Bloodborne monickers, and even tho all locations and faces are clearly meant to represent the original game and it’s still a shame that Lilith and her team had to rework all of the characters in some way or another, that’d be a huge disservice to the admittedly creative or fucking hilarious some of these characters have received. The main Good Hunter design goes HARD, I love how the Dream Watchers’ heads are replaced by big funny eyeballs, the Matilda Sisters are honestly WAYYYY cooler than their real game counterparts and, to be utterly honest, I’m so glad the rebranding happened if only because it gave us the absolute best change to Nicholas: he still keeps the similar dialogue and big head-cage… BUT HE ALSO GETS A BIRD. A COMICALLY SMALL CARTOONY BIRD THAT SITS ON TOP HIS HEAD WHILE HE DARTS AROUND THE CORRIDORS WHILE SHOOTING A GUN LIKE A FUCKING MANIAC. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THE CAGE IS ALSO A SELECTABLE KART THAT LETS YOU RUN ALONG THE TRACKS, BUT IT ALSO GIVES YOU THE BIRD. If getting to hear his scream when he dies in any part of the track didn’t already make way cooler and funnier than Micolash, then the bird for sure does.

It gains a ton thanks to its amazing presentation, and on that note, I really like how this one still keeps the whole PSX theme while not being completely binded by it: in Bloodborne PSX it made complete since the whole point of that game was to be a reimagination of how Bloodborne would work on the original console, while in Nightmare Kart is more of a visual throwback than anything else. There still is some sound compression on dialogue and the UI elements are clearly still referencing those of the PS1, but the controls are clearly influenced by more modern Kart racers and the music sounds SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD, the OST is hella strong, not really sound like anything in the original game at all, but a perfect fit, nonetheless.

But it wouldn’t be enough to make a hilarious kart parody game, ‘cause why not make the gameplay rock? I think I usually like the idea of combat-racing games more than playing them, so keep that in mind when I say that it’s been a while since I’ve had this much fun driving in a game. It all feels so hectic and buttery smooth, the track design is surprisingly great —both as references to the source material and tracks on their own to race on—, the act of shooting enemies both behind and in front on you or using the main selectable weapon is incredibly satisfying and responsive (most of the time), and the sheer variety in battle modes and creativity in the bosses during the campaign had me drooling, the only thing that that I can think of that comes close in what is trying to pull off is that mission mode in Mario Kart DS, and even that would be a bit of a far-fetched comparison considering the amazing hob his game does in adapting Bloodborne’s bosses into this whole new environment.

I even went for the secret ending which grants the final boss, and even if 9I wished at least one of the other two endings also gave some sort of final fight, the lack of any previous final boss made it even more special and cool, phase 2 particularly was simply unbelievable, and honestly, probably better than Bloodborne’s secret final boss. There’s nothing like seeing an eldritch abomination ride a go kart and running for dear life!

Tho if anything, the controls being so good and the battles being so creative makes the game’s biggest downfalls stick out even more, since it makes it the more noticeable when somethings feel more finnicky or unresponsive, like the weapon lock on or how basically all races become incredibly easy once you gain a bit of an advantage and where only one item can hit you. Plus, the enemy AI are clearly not the best, tho that seems to be something that’s being fixed with each update, and with the last one, 1.08, I’d say bosses like Nicholas that were damn easy or dumb have been given a very welcomed upgrade in that regard, and I can see things getting even better as more patches roll.

And that’s the thing, even more work is being continuously put on this game, more hours on top on an already amazing project and brimming with detail, effort, and even content and secrets. What could have been a one-not fan game resulted in an incredible homage, a game that stands on its two legs and offers a racing experience that it’s everything but monotonous. I really need to try free play with friends one day, ‘cause this is honestly an experience I wouldn’t mind going back to in the slightest, running along the nightmare or dashing through libraries in a wheelchair…

… and now that this isn’t tied to the Bloodborne IP at all, you know what that means? We can have merch of Nicholas and the Bird! Forget Bloodborne for PC, this is the real good ending, it was to happen!

This was a really ambitious game to make, one filled with love, passion, creativity and a distinct vision and I liked it a lot for that! I might not have played Bloodborne so I couldn't tell you how similar/different everything is, but I love how it was an April Fools joke turned into a full fledged and enjoyable game, and its such a visually distinct game from anything from the kart racer genre (even if the music is still cartoonish, but its still amazing regardless) and unapologetically retro, with some really useful options for customising your experience.
All items are pretty derivative of Mario Kart's items (blood droplets = coins, guns = green shells, etc) but they have a grittier spin on them, like blood increasing max speed, insentivising hunting other players and enemies on the course, as well as being able to collect aether vials while drifting for a little speed boost to your kart.
The diversity of missions in the campaign also made it fresh and like I wasn't just playing Grand Prix again, having some cool boss fights and making battle more than just a side mode, which is great because the weapons are really fun to use. Multiplayer is also really fun, having everything in the campaign (except for bosses) with a lot of customisation options for battle and races. Its a shame that after every round you get kicked out, so you can't select how many you want to do before getting booted to the menu, but its not a major annoyance.

I do have to admit that this game isn't perfect however, and my time on it was filled with a little more frustration than enjoyment since the controls didn't feel as responsive or nice to use as most kart racers; the lack of a more in-depth tutorial meant I was running off previous knowledge and muscle memory, which didn't help the feeling of the controls. The UI isn't the most intuitive it could be, there aren't any way markers for dark/foggy maps, sounds, especially voices, were so extremely quiet when compared to the rest of the SFX (I turned it up to max and I still could barely hear it over the music) and I hated the Nicholas boss for being unintuitive to fight and for being able to double tap with his body and his weapon.

Overall its a fun and promicing game but I probably overhyped myself before launch and subsequently got a little disappointed by it, but its getting updated pretty frequently so I can't complain, especially if my gripes get fixed. Trans rights!!

This is one of those games I hate dearly.

There was a time that I was obsessed with collecting as much as ps3 exclusive games as possible, because other than japan studio's games, almost every other ps3 exclusive is dirt cheap and also I thought exclusive = quality. But you see this game proved me wrong even tho actually this game is not that different compared to that era's fps games.

You know actually at surface level, it uses samey rules where gears of war, killzone etc. uses. Hella spongy enemies, million amount of waves of enemies, vehicle sections, turret sections, a campaign that balanced for coop not for singleplayer and saying war is bad hrrr drrrrr angry constantly.

But what makes resistance a failure is, it just doesn't have any character. Bland zombie like Aliens? Check. Gruff angry bald main soldier character that I can't even remember his name of? Check. Friendly? characters that you will literally forget the moment you close the game? Check. Samey looking environment like town houses and churches? Check.

You will probably want to counter this with saying "look at the interesting weapons!" To me. But I will also counter this with how bad and samey every one of them feels "to you". Think about a game where using a shotgun or machine gun have the same kill time. This sentence alone gives my feeling about them. I mean maybe later levels give good weapons but for me? They are damn boring because for me none of them have any big advantages maybe other than the one weapon that can shoot from the walls that just enables you to cheese the game as long as you have the bullets for it. Yay. That's what fun right? Cheesing the game?

Then the question is, is there nothing else that this games does new? I think there is one... And that is dynasty warriors levels of enemy numbers. Think about any shooter game, it's probably have 5-10 enemies per combat zone right? But this game have 50 per combat level! And all of them have lots of health!... Is this sounds fun to you? No. No it's not. It's just fu##s the pace even further beyond the realm of this universe of this already bland game.

But still... This doesn't make this game bad right? I mean it's still a working fps game after all. But you see, I review games with looking at my enjoyment, not how good they function or perform good with stable fps. So what I mean is this games bores me to tears to the point stopping me from playing the rest of the game.

Normally I don't like saying this but I just can't see the love of this game. You either love this game for it's multiplayer that I can't experience anymore or you played it as a child. Or your standards are low as the any forgotten underground cave maybe.