kingdom hearts is the most enigmatic game to me for the incredibly alluring intro scene where sora monologues about fucking nothing then stumbles towards riku like a fucking dumbass then like drowns while simple and clean plays, which while dumb, had me hooked when i first opened this game a few years ago, wanting to learn more about this game and the world it had. then, all of the allure was just gone when it drops you in the first world and you have to do a bunch of annoying fucking fetch quests. however, i played through it (and lost to riku in the race fuck that guy) and then got to wonderland and dropped it because i thought it was incredibly fucking boring, not worth my time, and because i hated the cheshire cat.

however, i decided i would give this game a fair shake, so i played through it for real this time, making sure to explore every nook and cranny of every world to experience this game to the fullest and obtain everything it offers. i beat riku in the race this time, and after playing through a bunch of worlds, realized that the disney-ness AND final fantasy-ness of this game just does not do it any favors. you could remove both the disney and final fantasy parts and replace them with a bunch of generic random characters and stories and i sincerely do not think this game would be any different; in fact, i mightve enjoyed it more. it was just the most annoying, grating shit ever sometimes, and spending hours of my life busting my ass beating the shit out of monkeys or going through the most bullshit coliseum level of all time while i got rewarded with absolutely zero genuine story progression was safe to say, not worth it.

instead, what was worth it was the kingdom hearts parts. all the original parts in this game had me genuinely engaged, constantly wanting to know more about sora, riku, kairi, and the lore of this universe. the theming was like fine i guess; it was super generic about light and dark and like keeping a pure heart by maintaining your astonishment for the world around you and for other people, but by the time it hit its stride i was so fucking numb from the disney parts that i was just about ready for anything. unfortunately, this game did not focus that much on it until around hollow bastion, which is when it got actually good and i started enjoying it. but, it taking 25 hours for me to give a fuck about this game does not bode well. there were a few, and i mean a few, highs in this game that werent at the very end, like halloween town or agrabah. but even then, the levels themselves were either boring, annoying, or just complete nothing.

regarding the levels, the gameplay was really really really annoying. level design was just insanely stupid sometimes like with the deep jungle making you backtrack, super boring like with wonderland, just absolutely nothing like monstro or neverland, or absolutely fucking abyss scum bullshit like atlantica and the horribly controlling swimming. i think the reason that the good worlds were good is because of the vibes that they had, which i cant really put a finger on but thats just how it is i guess. there were a few highs, but much more lows that left me questioning not only my existence and my place in this world, but also why i was still playing this shit. thankfully, 100 acre wood and winnie the pooh saved my life in this game because that world was deadass like the best one in this entire game because its sweet, short, wholesome, and had you form genuinely fruitful friendships with pooh and all of his friends. thus, my friend winnie the pooh gave me what i needed – motivation. i trudged on and on and what do you know! the non-disney worlds were better, had more interesting stories, and kept me engaged in the game, constantly wanting to know more. hollow bastion was an actually well-designed world, with good puzzles that made me think and also strategize. BUT, the combat made me want to snap my disc in two.

this game’s combat wasn’t particularly bad, but it was just so annoying. its fun when its good, and super frustrating when its not good. its very existence is just kind of dumb – its like if final fantasy tried to be an action game, but its like a weird middle ground between an action game and a turn-based rpg. it has you fighting ridiculously large enemy groups at some points with your sword, spells, donald, and goofy, which while it may seem like a lot, is absolutely nothing because of how much this game wants to be like final fantasy. sora moves like a snail, with the only viable way to move around quickly to hit enemies being rolling. even then, his sword is a lot shorter than you would think, making melee combat really annoying sometimes. i dont know if its just the depth perception on my crt, or if its just a skill issue, but i was actually just not able to see how far i was from an enemy at some parts, which made it really tiring. this also might just be a skill issue but the animation for healing, like cure or a potion, is ridiculously long AND you cant move while casting it AND it doesnt have any invincibility frames which means you can get randomly hit by a projectile that interrupts your healing and cannot do anything about it because nomura said so. generally, the gameplay kind of necessitates that you keep moving around due to how fast paced it can be, and coming to a full stop when casting magic kind of sucks because it makes you an open target, which proves especially annoying as the game progresses and you face progressively more difficult enemies, especially those that spam projectiles. i did like the ability customization a lot though, and wailing on bosses with arcanum was pretty fun. also, the abilities that restored hp and mp and stuff by getting hit or attacking were nice. FUCK THE GUMMI SHIP SECTIONS.

lastly, i do have a lot of problems with the characters in this game. independent of the shitty dialogue and character assassinations of disney characters, the way it handles some of the supporting cast just kinda sucks. sora barely has any development with donald and goofy throughout the game, despite them being there literally the entire time. when i first saw donald being a piece of shit i was sure he would go through a character arc but literally nothing dawg. nothing even happens for them to be considered best friends because this game is just sorely lacking in actual character moments. riku is probably my favorite character because he actually had character moments, especially with sora. without getting into spoilers i also really really disliked a story decision they did with kairi that just kinda ruined her entire character.

while i did just shit on this game for 1200 words, i didnt think it was that bad. it was novel for its time – a mix of two beloved franchises, action combat mixed with final fantasy, a cast of characters that were around the age of the people playing the game that at least were meant to have genuine relationships with each other, and most importantly, winnie the pooh. despite all of its faults, i cant really find myself to despise this game, so i settled at it just being mid, because i genuinely did like parts like hollow bastion, the final boss, and riku.

yakuza 4 was kind of like yakuza 3 part 2 to me. the theming from that game was followed up largely here, and i think i appreciate this game a lot for that, though the message was muddled super super super hard by the end of the game as a result of a failure to commit to the themes set out by the characters. regardless, its about trust, loyalty, and faith, and how they more often than not intersect each other. loyalty pervades this game's narrative, with the implication that its present in all walks of life, whether youre part of the yakuza, the police, or are just a regular civilian. each character's past is what defines the actions that they take, and ultimately, everyone's fates intertwine at the very end to create a conclusion that left me pretty satisfied. i also kinda liked the hinting at ambition and the race to the top of life, with characters like akiyama and arai exemplifying them really well. although it's only offhandedly mentioned a few times throughout the game, i think that its an interesting concept that probably shouldve been explored more.

regarding story decisions that a lot of people complain about, i didnt think they were bad by themselves. i agree with the pacing issues that this game has, as it kinda beelines straight to the end after saejima's part, which inevitably resulted in a drop in narrative quality for the back half of the game. furthermore, overusing a certain plot device instead of coming up with more innovative plot or story decisions kinda just ran this game into the ground for me. i really enjoyed the cast, which translated into me liking the story too, but if the main antagonist was at least somewhat better i think this game as a whole would be much better as well.

the gameplay is like yakuza 3 but easier. i didnt die a single time and its not cuz im good at these games (because im not) but its because they just made you do a lot more damage. playing around with each character's fighting style was super fun (especially tanimura), and skill progression was also very good, though i think i still prefer the simpler progression system in 1-3. also, kamurocho was the best its been, and probably my favorite in the series. though i love the fixed camera angles and ambiance in y1 and 2, i think the addition of rooftops and underground areas with a ton of stuff in them and places to walk around made me really enjoy exploring the city, although i do wish there were more minigames dispersed throughout.

yakuza 4 is often dogged on for cheeky story concepts and poor pacing, and while i do agree with a lot of complaints people have with this game, i really appreciate the new characters and story concepts, and most importantly, the ambition that rgg had when making it.

final fantasy ix is unrelenting in its storytelling and unapologetic in its earnestness. playing it on my ps2, sitting roughly three feet away from my 36 inch crt while the oversaturated and glare-ridden visuals embedded themselves in my retinas is something ill never forget, as the memories i have of playing one of the most cozy yet melancholic games ive ever experienced will last for a lifetime. while the themes of living life to its fullest are cliche and often overdone, final fantasy ix’s way of tackling these themes is what makes it undeniably unique. rather than one character learning that life is worth it by meeting new people and going on an adventure, this game has a set of characters that form a quasi-symbiotic relationship between each other, and all learn to appreciate an independent facet of their life from the main character, with the main message revolving around the power of living your life to the fullest so you build a legacy for yourself that far outlasts you. along with the main character’s hypocrisy in the ideals he preaches making him an all-time favorite of mine, the supporting cast, especially dagger and vivi, was one of the strongest ive seen and exemplify the importance of leaving a legacy to a tremendous degree.

other than that, the game has stunning visuals for the time it was made and the fmvs were beautiful, along with the character models being razor-sharp and super good looking. everything being a perfect fantasy world in this game fits thematically as well, and while i may not play this game ever again, the legacy it left in my memories will continue even after my life is over. a staple of gaming and must play for anyone thats looking for a shot of optimism; i love final fantasy ix and i always will.