I know how it is. I've been in those awkward silences. Nobody wanting to say what's burning away at them. It's time to speak up - Um Jammer Lammy's FMV compression is fucking brutal. Really brings you back to the RealPlayer days. I get it, though. Nobody wants this to become the talking point. For Sony to get excited to fart out a new remaster with AI upscaled cutscenes and interpolated animation. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.

It's understandable, though. The PlayStation had changed a lot over the course of a few years. The team who once put out Destruction Derby were now the guys behind Driver 2. NanaOn-Sha have insisted that they were pushing the upper limits of the CD-ROM's capacity with SIX whole levels in PaRappa 1, and somehow they managed to squeeze out one more, multiple 2-player modes and a whole second campaign for UJL. None of those weird borders around the FMV sequences, either. It's 1999. We're ready to throw away those Mega CD-era crutches and embrace full-screen video. Those cowards at Squaresoft might have just thrown an extra disc or two in the box, but this is how the real game developers do it.

Um Jammer Lammy is an odd game. The original told a fairly typical coming of age story, whereas this seems more trivial. Lammy has slept in and only has fifteen minutes to get to her concert. PaRappa was faced with challenges that he'd need to overcome to grow up and win over the flower of his dreams, but each stage in UJL represents Lammy being interrupted from her journey to the concert hall. Irritations that she doesn't learn anything relevant from. It's a sillier, less heartfelt story, and the game feels less significant as a result.

The core gameplay hasn't changed, but there's been some neat refinements to the UI. It's much easier to tell when a teacher's phrase ends and your one begins, with consistent on-screen bar length, colour-coding and a neat use of the Dualshock's rumble when it's your shot. Timing seems much easier overall, too, with the button prompts pulsing when you're supposed to hit them. It's subtle, but it feels far more playable as a result. It's not uncommon that I'll get several levels into PaRappa without feeling I have any kind of handle on the timing, but all those little tweaks make UJL feel far more responsive and reliable.

That said, the game's cluttered, messy and a little incoherent. There are moments of characterisation that feel really underbaked, and like they were significantly established in the production material, but those cutscenes just couldn't make it into the 700MBs of space that the game was allotted. There's a running joke aimed at Joe Chin, PaRappa 1's pompous braggart, who has seemingly transformed into a tacky Donald Trump-style casino owner, stamping his name on cheaply-made products (likely the result of Rodney Greenblat's personal irritations, as a resident of New York), even though he has no place in the story and doesn't interact with any of the characters. They likely spent a lot of time coming up with ideas on what to put in a PaRappa sequel, and they just couldn't squeeze it all in. It doesn't feel like we spend enough time anywhere to get a sense of the world that they're attempting to establish. Those cutscenes don't grow on trees, ya know?

Then there's the music. If you hear Matsuura's work as a recording artist, you can tell that PaRappa was far closer to his comfort zone. He's done a lot of great work with funk, soul and disco, and when he focused on that, PaRappa 2 undoubtedly had his best compositions in a game. Lammy comes off like it's going to focus on rock, but it's all over the place. There's a kind of rockabilly thing for one level and a heavy metal pastiche, but there's a bunch of weird detours, plumbing the depths of the confused misfire that is Taste of Teriyaki. I was digging deep to try and link it here, but I once saw a mainstream music review site covering MilkCan's "Make It Sweet" (a sort of reimagined soundtrack where Katy sings all the songs) and it was deeply embarrassing thinking of someone judging these songs without the context of the game. Of course, they hated it. It's frequently quite intolerable. That said, Fire Fire and Casino In My Hair totally rule, and of course, the last level makes for one of the all-time feel-good finales to a game.

Rhythm action hadn't really made much progress as a genre until immediately after Um Jammer Lammy, when DDR, Pop'n Music and Beatmania really started to take hold. PaRappa gameplay's fairly tame in relation to the high-level challenge of the emerging rhythm arcade scene, and UJL hasn't really moved on. There's a little more ambition in some of the phrases, but tethering everything to that old COOL/GOOD/BAD/AWFUL ranking system prevents them from doing anything too interesting with song structure. Levels typically feature tricky phrases a third of the way through, and then hand you a couple of really easy ones right at the end to save you at the last minute. It doesn't really incentivise you to play the whole song well. You just have to get those last couple of phrases right.

It may sound like I've given Um Jammer Lammy a real hammering here, but none of these things are important. These games hinge on their charm, and Um Jammer Lammy is really endearing. The looser tone really lets Rodney go wild with his designs, and I really enjoy the background characters, from the guy with an accordion for a head, to the guy with a tree stump for a head, to the guy with a human ear for a head. Please keep an eye out for them. It doesn't really get a lot of credit for it, but it's a wide-appeal nineties videogame with non-sexualised female leads (even if SCEA opted to promote the game with tattooed midriffs), and as low a bar as that is, it's depressing how brave a direction that seemed at the time. Lammy, Katy and Ma-san are all fun and likeable, and for as little as we get to see of their dynamic, they each really seem to care for their friends. It's very sweet, and I think the message of finding conviction in your own unique style is really positive. Giving PaRappa his own post-game campaign was such a treat, though it does highlight that the gameplay works better when button inputs correspond to words as opposed to relatively abstract guitar phrases. Fans love him, and it's nice to see him hanging out with his friends in more relaxed situations. For all the niggles you can point out with the design or soundtracks, these games are really successful in creating a fun, optimistic atmosphere that's comforting to spend time in, and that's what keeps me coming back. The nice time.

It goes without saying that they don't make games like this any more. They never made games like this. Um Jammer Lammy was a fairly audacious thing to print on a PS1 CD-ROM. It retains its unique appeal. The progression of the PlayStation as a platform lent itself to creating more confident, thrilling blockbuster titles, but it also created little niches for the weird stuff to find a home in. UJL sits in a unique position between the platform mascot juggernauts, Crash Bandicoot and Spyro, and the odd, artsy, experimental releases like Pet In TV and Fluid. It's on the border, noooooowwwwww. We're never getting anything quite like this again, but wasn't that a groove?

i have my nitpicks and prefer the original due to its faster game speed and the text being too slow (seriously guys its 2024), p much everything else is nitpicky like sound design and occasional dialogue changes

but i had the biggest grin on my face throughout the entire 32 hours i played, its beautiful, the battle mechanics are still as fun as ever, the remade soundtrack is (for the most part) a banger, its so faithful and felt like I was playing the original for the first time again as a kid, felt like a new yet extremely familiar take on ttyd, fitting for a remake

genuienly cant believe this exists, I dont think paper mario will ever be the same again but I am so happy i got to relive one of my all timers like this

(please nintendo make more of these im fucking begging you just make the game faster)

i heard this game was really bad so I was mentally preparing for another final fantasy 13, a game held back hard by its limitations and obvious overambition, and what I got was EXACTLY that, but something throughout the entirety of the experience felt different. Don't get me wrong, this game is an ABSOLUTE mess, its janky, the story requires you to watch/read a lot of shit to get the most out of it, some of its most prominent plot points and characters feel underdeveloped, and the open world is mostly empty outside of hunts and sidequests. And even then, this game left me sobbing by the end of it

and its really just because this game truly resonates with me, moreso than any other final fantasy. i love its party sm, noctis is a phenomenal protagonist, the world is beautiful, the vibes are higher than any other ff game, the music is enchanting (yoko literally never misses it actually baffles the mind), the game is gorgeous, and despite the story being clearly unfinished, it has some beats that worked SO well for me. Throughout the entire game I was just thinking of that one "this fucking sucks" guy pointing at literally the coolest shit ever meme, almost everything ff15 does worked so well for me and I genuinely like it more than most of the ff games I have played

ff15 is an absolute mess but it stuck with me hard and could have been my EASY favorite if it just had more time to develop itself

tldr, one of the worst games that I have ever loved and one of my favorites of the franchise so far

basically only played this out of sheer curiosity because everyone was throwing a fit about how "woke" and trash it is (plus found it for a discount) andddd

its alright, but imo tries WAAAAAY too hard to be like nier automata (a way better game) when its clear that storytelling and writing was not the strong suit of this team (especially with THIS voice acting, good god). It's strange because I feel like this game actually has better combat than nier but worse everything else (the music is equal tho holy shit its fire).

But judging it on its own, the story just was not very interesting, and the environmental design also leaves a lot to be desired, you will either be exploring one of two places in this game after the first area: a desert or a sewer/lab until the end of the game, the lab areas in particular feel so alike i was stunned there was two of them (both with the same boss at the end as well). Combat is a lot of fun tho, felt like a great mix between bayonetta and sekiro and I never got particularly tired of it minus how precise the dodges need to be to actually give iframes. Bosses were definitely the highlight, but a little bit too easy, until the endgame where the last 4 bosses are genuinely excellent and pretty challenging tho, loved those but it also sort of disapointed me that the entire game was not like that. Sidequest design is also just kinda there, very typical and I never really felt motivated to do them aside from the true ending (which I did not get because the "lily" bar not being visible is the stupidest fuckin decision in this game, think it glitched out or smth cuz it would NEVER appear)

Overall, a decent enough game, not worth the 70 dollars at all but yeah at a sizeable discount for sure, all I hope is that it wins best soundtrack at the game awards and makes EVERYONE mad, cuz it deserves it lmao