519 Reviews liked by ludzu


Osman

1996

shit goes crazy why nobody said nothin? important reclamation fiction of what shoulda happened after the #8 seed franks upset the #1 seed umayyads at the battle of tours: the legacy of the caliphates, mythologized into a assassin quasi-prophet who kicks really hard and fast, spinnin back to hit a vicious stain on the now globalized "West" and "Neoliberalism" across 5 side-scroller stages. look i know "the west & neoliberalism" mean absolutely nothing beyond "uh america & profits" in the current critical landscape but the opps here are the Federal Government (proper noun) and an Attorney General who double crosses you after using you to put down a religious cult in the Persian Gulf. shits like a silver bullet made for the Bush family's headtop and a very personal short call of the Dollar System as far as political specificity in video games go. contra strider, osman asks you to put the weapon down and beat ass with two hands and feet--you'll be sliding n gliding n crouching through the mud like any side scroller but the greatest mechanic here is the afterimage system. each powerup you get gives you an brief stationary clone that'll stay in your last attack spot and synchronize with your attack inputs for the next few seconds. seems strong enough right, but the real trick is to plant like 8 of these clones right in somebody's hurtbox, run away, then start whiffing like a ken player to trigger all 8 of those attack clones at once and deal unconscious amounts of damage in quick succession. nomiss runs of this are like 15 minutes because of how much burst damage you can put out in addition to the bombs--bosses here can go out sad in like 20 seconds if you've been on it in keeping your powerups & bombs available. was this intended? maybe, but it made avoiding any death to keep my resources really critical, and some sense of tension along with unhinged ingenuity is all i ask from the MAME experience these days n i got it in spades. there's also some metatext here but honestly just taking this shit at face value was a joy. prescient in recognizing the global south is where the revolution at and we're just kinda pussy.

okay, this is one of those weird games that i obsessed over when i was younger. not in the way people normally do when they really like a game. the gameplay was just fine, but i was completely fixated on the destructable terrain system, combined with the map design. some of the maps would have hidden corridors and pockets that you could only access by destroying something, and i used to jetpack around the map looking for them for HOURS. no idea why it just tickled something in my brain

slaughter's I don't like shit I don't go outside, completely bleak and begging for (divine?) retribution to some unknowable crime. idk, probably the crime of being born. an apple from ribbik's tree of mixing slaughter with other gameplay elements, namely platforming, but this isn't the "oops!!!🤭 looks like you missed your jump! here's a teleport to restart ;)" nintenyearold platforming of other wads this is the "nigga fuck you" platforming of olde. maps 01 and 02 are aerial exercises of performing skates & figure eights around eroded neogothic pillars; i thought alot of NES sidescrollers and their derivatives in how benjogami will ask you to route yourself around projectiles, enemy bodies, and vertical gaps in quick succession. except, of course, the trick here being that all enemies are always moving towards you in a doom map, so the option to grind out muscle memory and timing is taken away, and now the requirement is left and right brain knowledge of which direction you need to be going at what speed and pastoral intuition on how you standing behind a wall for two seconds will herd the cyberdemon you can't see and the 12 cacodemons you can't see together to infight with each other. a notebook of Newtonian laws and velocity formulas in one hand and Joseph's shepherd crook in the other, real corpus callosum gaming.

it's claustrophobic and light on breathing room, felt like i needed a damn O2 mask by the time I hit map 03, which of course feeds into the visual work--this is by far benjogami's most striking WAD (not light praise, of the slaughter all-stars he's in the upper tier of aesthetics), undarkening Romero's brown into a low pH value bile of oranges & purples & neons. i love the Babylonian towers of toxins that serve as background to the action here too--depending on whether your philosophy says stalactite or stalagmite it's either god pissing on us or us sending our piss back to god. map 04 is otherworldly, vaguely resembling something akin to ribbik's frog & toad series but drenched in venom and supercharged with electricity. i had many (i.e. 1) drafts of words of map 04 prior to this and i could just not capture it's appeal or how it makes me feel, one of the rare things i feel that just goes beyond my aesthetic appreciation and into the sublime. realllly good shit man

played as eric for the first time and Oh My God, It Feels Great Spearing Demons With A Blonde Twink. also this game rules, it feels like a castlevania made by treasure.

burial rites for the exiled and forgotten. what else can i do to save these people?

painterly in a way that eludes a lot of similarly inclined first-person shooters, genuinely really striking images presented here and accompanied with an eerie soundscape. it’s shackled to linearity both in rhythm and in how it opts to supply the player with resources, which admittedly may not have earned it the warmth it deserved back in 2009, but there’s an appreciated pointedness to its pace which perfectly accompanies its relatively short runtime. frankness is ultimately its greatest asset; most of the nonlinearity here is deployed through the vignettes comprising its narrative, portraying the north wind’s genuine tragedy with a leanness & brevity that underlines the humanity of its limited cast. as your journey shifts from something seemingly corporeal to metaphysical and impressionistic, it is this comfort with being construed as folkloric which allows its final moments to not only register as meaningful, but to provide this unexpected & poignant catharsis. really loved it.

psychotic bishounen, HIGH&LOW in a world of horror

-The most natural evolution of action-horror ever developed. Its spaces respond to that attempt at polygonal evolution of flat and reflective corridors to give a cleaner and more sterile sensation, not as charismatic or dirty as in the first Galerians, more aware of its diegetic and Futurist possibilities and limitations, Y2k after all, empty space, reflections and liquids become something mystical again. FULL 3D, a sense of grandeur with cameras and cutscenes - limited, but visually seductive - replace controlled motion planning in the psOne's pre-rendered backgrounds, and its kinesthetic orthotics also move toward agile gameplay.
Nothing very naturalistic, however: the corridors and rooms do respond to a certain habitability logic, but the menus get in the way of the action, the protagonist's portraits appear as reflections on the screen when we pick up an object (looking at us) and the characters act differently. robotics. I think of these things when someone says "ps2 desing" I think of the start of the BIOS immersing myself in a virtual world. I think of a universe built without pretensions to hide in what medium it is based, embracing the digital in its presentation, out of necessity or conviction.
-The game is full of brutally interesting images, (this is only from its first hours https://twitter.com/Ardwyw/status/1575538820933906432) something in the middle between Event Horizon, BLAME!, Matrix, Cronenberg (that body horror ), something from the old Squaresoft and a J-Pop concert... Although this is seen more from the cinematographic (Cutscenes) than from the cinematic (in-game camera and scenery) and it's a shame because if sections like the final boss were more abundant the canned structure in labyrinths whose transit is not so interesting from a spatial point of view, it's not that I don't appreciate slow gaming but those corridors... I don't know.
- The action is only interesting with the bosses or sub-bosses, the rest were exercises to control resources and my nervousness, something that I already have very internalized. I also don't ask for the incredible exploration of objects and their effects on my avatar and enemies that BAROQUE had but, meh

I really appreciate this Galerians: Ash, but through sight, not so much when I play it
Although I will definitely return.

Arduween 1x03

this game requires no introduction anymore so i'm not beating around the bush. drakengard has been on my mind a fair bit recently - on the off chance you'll forgive a second log i think it's worth examining some of what the title accomplishes uniquely well, or what it's able to achieve with respect to the various titles that it's in conversation with. first of all: there's nothing quite as flatline-inducing or revealing of the author's own tendencies as reading that drakengard was intentionally poorly designed, a commonly held idea in various hobbyist communities frustratingly stemming just as often from its supporters as from its detractors. not only is this a frightfully pedantic and dull reduction of the text - it's also just an elaborately constructed fiction masking deeper truths. for instance, i think it's plain as day our burgeoning critical language still struggles with titles seemingly antithetical to traditional enjoyment, and are only able to escape from suffocating evaluative lexicon through irony or genre labels. survival horror isn't normally 'fun' & people appear willing to understand this so the genre gets a normative pass en masse, although it seems worth mentioning that the longer they exist in the public eye the more their mechanical frameworks get totally demystified by the public, arguably reducing them to vehicles for pleasure and gratification anyways, resident evil being the prime example.

drakengard, of course, isn't survival horror. it's largely a musou with some horror trappings, but it's rather plain about its affectation. however, because the traditional 'game' part of it is in such conflict with its aesthetic, we end up with the idea that this dissonance is a result of intentionally languid, engineered dissatisfaction. oh wow that wacky yoko taro wanted you to feel bad so he made his debut game bad. bzzzzt. wrong. square enix wanted a commercial success with drakengard. if they didn't, they wouldn't have requested that a project starting out as a simple remix of ace combat (owing massive inspiration to electrosphere in particular, another game that combines peerless arcade bluster with bleak narrative proceedings) would incorporate elements of its contemporary blockbuster peer, dynasty warriors. none of this is to say that drakengard can't be an awkward game, but it's in large part due to a friction with cavia's inexperience/lack of technical expertise, their attempts at holding true to their initial vision for the project, and square enix being desperate for a worthy competitor to koei tecmo's success.

here's where i'll stake a claim on something potentially contentious and risible. on the basis of the title's struggles in production & development, it is somewhat shocking that drakengard is not just 'not bad', but is a totally competent musou game. given the milieu in which it released, you might even dare to call it 'good', or 'well-made'. i'll double down with something absolutely no one wants to hear: most people have no point of reference because musou is rarely put in its historic context, appreciated for its strengths, or even, broadly speaking, played. disregarding popular experimental offshoot licensed games which carry their own unique magnetism, dynasty warriors has an especially prevalent stigma in contemporary action game circles, and few seem willing to return to reevaluate the franchise. if we accept this as the case, we can begin to understand why nostalgia is the primary driver of fondness for early musou, and why you always hear dynasty warriors 3 is the best one. 'load of bull', you say, 'drakengard is not good', you say, 'dynasty warriors sold millions and is beloved for inventing the drama; surely it's better', you say, but take a look at these admittedly small sample sizes (evidence A and evidence B) and you tell me which is actually the niche ip at present. one of these broader game worlds got a FFXIV collaboration. it was not dynasty warriors.

anyways the idea that drakengard could be a respected peer to dynasty warriors - or even, perhaps, better - is not ahistorical. drakengard came out in 2003, only a few months after the release of dynasty warriors 4. by this point in the dynasty warriors timeline, your only sources of inspiration for the musou canon are dynasty warrior 2 and dynasty warriors 3. they're fine games for what they are - content-rich, pop recontextualizations of romance of the three kingdoms that fold the intense political drama, grandiose character dynamics, and poeticizing of feudal history intrinsic to the novel and morphs them into larger-than-life battles of one against one hundred. it works for that series, but having played dynasty warriors 3, it's also very simply orchestrated. DW3 is kinetic and energetic, sure, but form is not function. as a still nascent series, DW3 has yet to experiment with elements that would come to define later entries, such as a strong emphasis on field management - its presence in 3 is largely muted and, dependent upon your stats, can often be negated. it is mostly a game of fulfilling your objectives, grinding up your stats, and engaging in undemanding combat pulling the same strong combo strings against some unique generals and a multitude of carbon copy generic ones. and i happen to appreciate it for what it is, but there is no question in my mind if you slotted that exact same mechanical framework into drakengard's tone and setting, it would be similarly deemed bad on purpose.

other than its tone what does drakengard do differently from this purely mechanical perspective? honestly, not too much from DW3! archers are still often priority targets, because if you don't prioritize them you will get knocked off your horse dragon. mission structure is usually quite similar, arguably with a bit less back and forth. combos require virtually the exact same input. the camera in both games is kind of fucked up. aside from abstruse unlock requirements and a...unique, system of progression, the biggest differences are mostly relegated to additions rather than subtractions. there are more enemy designs than just grunt soldiers. you can dodge now. the game is weapon-driven rather than character-driven ala DW3, which allows for its own form of unique experimentation. the soundtrack is excellent, i'm not accepting complaints. to aid in breaking up the pace, there are aerial missions that play somewhat comparably to panzer dragoon on-rail segments which are actually quite fun; likewise, the hybrid missions allow for angelus to be used as a means of offence in ground warfare and rain hellfire from above. it keeps things relatively varied. there's no troops to manage because caim is fighting a losing war and willingly formed a pact with the only being capable of potentially turning the tides, and the game is content to use the musou form to communicate ideas about caim and angelus to great effect.

of course, it's the narrative which gives drakengard a lot of its greatest texture (and is also demonstrative of its greatest strengths and appeals as a DW clone), but we can save discussion of that for some other time; for now it's more important for me to say that it's not quite the outright condemnation of violence through ludology that so many claim it is (it's far more interested in more subtle forms of violence than the explicit and ceaseless murder it depicts anyways). really, this was just a self-indulgent exercise in placing drakengard in its historic context once and for all, away from all the retrospectives it's been getting as a result of nier's runaway success. drakengard is a game that won't be for most, but it's a game that's lingered in my memory long since i first played it. it takes an, at the time, relatively new genre, and through sheer passion and dedication spins it into a uniquely transgressive idea while still remaining an enjoyable title to let unfold. if it feels numbing or meditative, that's more or less the exact emotional resonance that something like DW3 is targeting - drakengard just uses it to achieve more things than a sense of gratifying white noise. it remains peerless because of all of its contradictions, because of how messy and thorny it is as a game, and because we'll never see anything approaching this utterly unique interplay of emotional rhythms and macabre, uncanny storytelling wearing the skin of its crowdpleasing predecessors ever again.

they made me work my ass off for a few nip slips. chica featured on the cover is not in the game. im pretty sure girl 2 called me a super pig pilot. reward for completion is a lady gyrating her hips on loop to the credits theme. surprised this made it onto this site given IGDBs policy but the panties stay on at all times in sexy invaders so maybe that's part of the reason why. deeply amusing seeing the nintendo logo before slotting this bad boy in. the intersection of established arcade design & early 90s digital eroticism is as always conceptually interesting but totally insubstantial & boring, at least in practice. they hadnt yet realized that the strongest & most powerful gamers are volcels. lady killer (1993) better

in the words of pantera ... fucking hostile!!!! an antifun tour de force, disrespects every second of the player's time, mocks u, kills u out of nowhere repeatedly and without mercy... AND teaches you that Love is all that can lighten the misery of Work :-)

One of those games that are somewhat familiar to the hands but refresh the eyes and mind

-One of the last games on a dead Nintendo platform is a collection of unfinished levels, featuring a gameworld that seems to somehow fit a dead Metroid. Well, not dead, an unborn Metroid Prime more like. A copy with no original. An untimely and unborn digital world, a simulation of the worst for those who want to create video games in an industry that demands results and for those who are looking for content and hours of play. throws some sensations that I had with those that already existed in the 80s (Zelda, Xanadu Revival) until the end of the last decade with Connor Sherlock, Kojima and Taro: a ghost zone where the content -if there is any- can kill your interpretive creativity from within, reach an icon, a collectible, a new area and that the reward is emptiness.
Where is the Lore?
Any. There is not.
Constant movement and no linear thinking. I think that is what we need, that they give us less and put more on our part. And now, I know that we give a good part of our energy to overcome challenges and, why not say so? A good deal of our money goes into this, but our meaning comes in many forms.

-I honestly don't know what the title refers to, but playing it in the month in which Splatoon 3 is launched, which finally seems to find something in its own saga -3 deliveries have taken a long time- beyond a more or less original concept and in the that the latest ranges of Graphic Cards are announced at exorbitant prices and... It's just a micro event, yes, let's go with Automated Lungs

-In something if it looks like the first metroid: The world is only transited, you do not get to dominate. The discomfort of moving through this unborn world of unfinished spaces has the consequence that picking up a simple collectible on a narrow catwalk can become a challenge that is highly dependent on our ability to maintain somewhat rigid inertia through the joystick. The character of this reminds me of Nagoshi's Super Monkey Ball (yes)

-I've never laughed so hard at those sections where they put a collectible in a place you can almost touch but it's hidden behind a transparent wall or whatever, in an area only accessible after a hell of a takeshis challenge. Not even VVVVV's. And at the same time a strange terror. And relief. If the void is like that, if the richness and texture of these dead zones is only a catalyst for sensations and the most literal content is scarce, I am relieved.
On the other hand, this void is not as resounding as the literalness that floods the interpretation and design of contemporary video games. I wouldn't blame anyone who saw the game as a product of "a little polished indie series dealing with self-contained challenges" to be honest.

-Negative areas. Dark green void. Towers that lead to cities driven more by a dreamlike sense than by a gamy logic. I go where I want as I can and that scares me, again it's very strange. I am invaded by the thought of how much contemporary pop culture and the era of immediacy have clearly guided us and have marked a path of more evident and linear readings.
I will definitely come back to this game when its PC version comes out

Excruciatingly rough-hewn, unrelentingly insistent that the player abide by its demands, frictive enough to give new meaning to "NOW IS TIME TO THE 68000 HEART ON FIRE." Geograph Seal refuses to be anything except what it is, a labourious exercise in survival and traversal in the face of overwhelming odds. From the second gameplay begins the player is surrounded and confused, contending with a (then) novel means of moving in three-dimensional space, those oft-dreaded tank controls and an inability to aim independent of movement. No tutorial, no on-screen controls, just a crowded HUD labelling everything in view yet telling you nothing. A trial by fire. If Jumping Flash! is a playground littered with toys and freedom to do whatever the player wants, Geograph Seal is rush-hour traffic. The selfsame engine which shocked and awed investors, journalists, and gamers when demonstrating the capabilities of the Sony PlayStation absolutely chugs on the X68000. Geograph Seal rarely breaks double-digit framerates whereas Jumping Flash! frequently ascends to 60. Despite its belaboured rendering, Geograph Seal punishes the slightest hesitation with a cascade of enemy gunfire and lasers which can hardly be reacted to if they're even seen by the player. Geograph Seal crumbles under the weight of its own ambition and it is incredible. Every victory is hard-won. Each continue used is soul-crushing. Any shield recovery drop is manna from heaven, providing sustenance enough for the oppression to continue unabated. Doomed to start over from the beginning over and over, the player carves out a modicum of understanding how to progress. Boss fights are a blistering battle against time as your shield dwindles. The rail shooter segments are a maddeningly brutal cacophony of polygons and missiles. The maze stage is a claustrophobic lesson on Geograph Seal's combat essentials as you lose the one true advantage you had over your enemies, that taken for granted triple jump. Geograph Seal is a 3D game with no concessions made for the sake of access, it provides a Z-axis and shows what a proverbial game of the future might be like, no stepping stones to cross the torrential waters of 3D gaming. Exact Co. shrieks that there is no time to dawdle, we have the technology and holy shit let's just use it and let people figure out how to play it on their own.

Geograph Seal is a monolith -- imposing and unwavering. A precursor of exceptional things to come. A testament to phenomenology in gaming, one must be subsumed by it to understand that it is a delight. The bĂŠton brut of 3D polygonal gaming.

unbreakably hard and made of cold steel is chibi-robo, the phallus idol worshipped by a gluttonous (american) media-obesessed patriarch heading a rapidly failing family. no doubt the father's willingness to sacrifice the last of his family's resources indicates that he will go to any length in order to re-establish a masculine presence that the family can center themselves around (an obviously archaic view of the family unit as a tribe to be led). in the reality that this attempt fails, the bond between parents is shattered, and the wellbeing of their daughter is compromised.

chibi-robo, of course, succeeds. there's probably nothing in the world that this guy can't do. at one point one of the characters says outright that "thanks to you chibi-robo, I feel great all the time now". this guy pisses himself in front of you later too(?) all of the other characters basically take turns saying this to you after you solve all of their life-ruining issues too. honestly it's probably true that these guys are going to spend the rest of their lives thinking about chibi-robo every single day. and who can blame them? chibi is goated. his every action is infused with an enthusiasm for getting it done. his run is pure passion and he hustles like he can't stop. and the sound design... probably some of our (humankind's) best sound effects. you've got the raising-the-ladder sound effect (nyehwhehehehehe), the bouncy xylophone note accenting every non-carpeted footstep, the a capella "boh" when you back out of the item select menu. I love chibi-robo's way of doing things. like telly says, just chibi's very presence makes everyone happy, happy, happy.

chibi-robo has dominated a small portion of my massive psyche ever since I first saw him in nintendo power. he owned the front cover of the march 2006 issue (though there was a banner advertising a special report on metroid prime hunters as well... now that was a game. I alt-abused as sylux while my brother mained trace and was cracked at hitting rails.) happy to have finally played this. really really sweet game.

"On ne naĂŽt pas femme, on le devient."

Towelket 2 is a profoundly haunting experience with so much emotional gravitas packed into such a short playtime that you would've forgotten Kanao's previous game was Towelket 3. While that game was silly, irreverent, yet sporadically morbid, 2 is more stripped back and deliberate. Magic is gone. Weapons and armor are ordinary objects and clothing. And anything that happens to a character is permanent. One of the things I loved about 3 regardless, though, was its perspective switching: how it forced you into the shoes of characters besides your own. 2's utilization of this is remarkably effective combined with the more focused cast. It's downright cinematic at several points. Paripariume leaves for the city, an unfamiliar place where she is just a small fish. The game then cuts to Mocchi, in an alien spaceship (which even looks vaguely like a train), drawing an effective thematic parallel. All the characters represent different ways society oppresses, yet their pain is shared. Mitsue is a temporary recipient of, and eventual victim to, society's beauty standards. Ketsuago, ‘clever girl,’ has created a society herself, yet is still unable to change the wider attitudes. Paripariume, a deeply tragic victim of patriarchy, clings to memories she felt were free from the world’s twisted, contradictory expectations in order to keep pushing forward even as she, once an exemplary human being, is broken down, Mocchi serving as her mirror both physically and spiritually. It felt like there was so much thought put into the construction of this story, and if anything, the writing was so strong I just wish it were longer, because media that handles shocking graphic/sexual content without feeling forced or tactless is surprisingly rare. But please be warned: although I think the writing is nuanced enough it’s possible to draw some positive conclusions, it is hellishly dark in its portrayal of these issues. I had some difficulty sleeping afterwards.

Gameplay-wise, it's a massive step up from 3, but I would struggle to call the combat itself interesting. Autoing every battle is genuinely the best option most of the time, though I guess I do prefer simple turn-based RPGs to be easy, so this is not a huge downside to me personally. However, I think this was the game where Towelket came into its own with regards to gameplay mechanics. The flower garden ensures smooth progression so you don't necessarily need to be constantly updating your equipment, Elizabeth is a genuinely good character hidden within a hint menu, and the Mind system is one of my favorite ideas in any RPG ever. Not necessarily for gameplay repercussions, but more in terms of thematics. It lets players reminisce on the story so far, providing a breather, and granting abilities and powers for interacting with all the game has to offer. Memories imbue you with the strength to move forward, but at the same time cannot let you escape reality. The story not only acknowledges a frightening dichotomy within its own philosophy, but masterfully ties together this concept with ideas that seem to mirror what an indie developer might say about their own work. -These games, our personal works of art, are the culmination of everything that brought us to this point. We have things we want players to see, and not see, and it is within this intimate space we are allowed a connection between creators’ and players’ brains. Eventually it ends, the connection terminated, but if our souls conjoined just once, it will have all been worth it. -

In a sense, Kanao found a way to justify their predilection to absurdity and morbidity by applying it to characters with experiences all too familiar with reality. As if they’re saying: "This world is really what's morbid here!" Yet there’s only so much we can do in the face of the seemingly unbreakable systems of oppression. And that is true horror.

The Motion Gravure releases are bad. They are a failed experiment utilizing new technology with very little to offer as either an interactive experience or a work of eroticism. BUT, they are also so incredibly bizarre to see; virtual nausea delivered straight to your eyeballs.

In this one, Harumi morphs and twists, body mutating, disfiguring. She points a gun at her head. Unlocked secret scenes appear over a pentagram, and when all are discovered, she bathes in milk.

Playing Motion Gravure is to experience something beyond us, something no person was ever meant to see. The camera cuts to the ocean waves, again and again, to which we will all return.

Read more here

This review contains spoilers

author’s note: this analysis will only be covering the four chapters of the initial higurashi when they cry series - onikakushi, watanagashi, tatarigoroshi, and himatsubushi. the remaining four chapters, the “answer arcs”, will receive their own right up under the page for higurashi when they cry kai. please be advised that as of the time of writing, i have only played these first four chapters, and as a result, conclusions drawn or predictions made may not reflect my final views of higurashi when they cry in its entirety.

an additional note - this piece comes with a content warning for topics including abuse, trauma, death, and sexual misconduct, both in context of the fictional work and within the context of the author’s real life experiences. please be advised, should those topics be uncomfortable for you to read or partake in discussion about.

“o! the dead! 27 people / even more, they were boys
with their cars, summer jobs / oh, my god... are you one of them?”
- sufjan stevens, "john wayne gacy, jr."

heat rises from the ground in waves, thickening the air and blurring the horizon. the afternoon’s dry scent of grass and foliage. the wanton laughter and excitement of children living out dog days, wrestling, screaming, giggling, sharing secrets, telling stories - a tiny, forgotten slice of their world seemingly cut out of the cloth of modernization remains their kingdom. 1983; a revolutionary shift in culture, a new change of scene. let the children lose it, said bowie a decade prior. these are their days and this is their sprawling, rural dominion. i remember my summers. i remember the feeling of those middle school years, going to beaches and boardwalks and campfires with my friends. i remember the feeling of my first attractions, of kicking myself about things i said to those people with faces and names i can no longer recall, tossing my nokia flip phone - my first - around and waiting for a text back on that terrible signal and hoping my data would last the weekend.

any way you slice it, those days seem natural, comfortable and desirable from any outsider’s perspective. indeed, i find myself looking back at those aspects of that time with a smile while writing this. but context, as always, defines everything. while all of these things are true and i am capable of siphoning fondness and nostalgia from the memory, when the camera zooms back - i was in a living hell. by that age range - say, 13 - i’d experienced a great deal of death and loss, some firsthand. dcfs had made regular appearances in my homes, there had been explosive arguments in both of my parents’ houses, some turning physical. hands and words and neglect had been used against me as a child enough to call a regular occurrence. addiction and its results were every bit of a piece of my developmental years as learning my times tables. by the last visit i can recall taking with friends to those places, where i must’ve been around 14 - about the age of higurashi’s main cast, i’d been sexually abused at least twice by people i trusted. i felt betrayed by institutions that the government had told me would fight to protect me and my brothers. friends couldn’t do much but offer safe havens for temporary stay and hope for the best.

in my 20s, i consider these summers a double-sided coin. i don’t reject one half of that reality in acceptance of the other. often, i feel as if these different compartmentalized sections of my past - to borrow from the grateful dead, these attics of my life, exist in different planes of existence from one another. but part of recovery from trauma, part of equanimity with oneself, is the acceptance, love, and patience with the person you’ve been and the places you’ve been - and to find unison by tying all of those strings together. upon learning that the sole writer and creator of this series, ryukishi07, was a social worker prior to leaving in order to tell this story, the pieces all began to click, and i shared a much needed, heaving, cathartic sob of release alongside higurashi’s third chapter. for the first time in this medium, i feel directly spoken for, understood, loved, apologized to, heard, and fought for by a work of art on this intimate a level. i’ve experienced many titles i hold dear that i appreciated and knew the subject matter to be well-researched, sensibly handled, and passionately discussed. this may be the first i’ve seen where i truly believe this to be a story the author needed to tell, enough to lay down his career and push to make that happen. i’ve described higurashi as “a collection of cries for help”, and that extends beyond fiction. these cries are likely those of children, of families, ryukishi knew, worked with, and felt for. this is living testimony of people like us.

here is our cry for help.

i didn’t have a hinamizawa growing up. my childhood was spent away from the rural sprawl and the vast expanse; just the opposite really, most was spent in and around the bustle of the city or in low-income neighborhoods. but there remains solidarity in the background. we felt firsthand growing up the effect of the affluent and capable vying for leisure over equity. when the game would make the off-hand remark about hand-me-down p.e. uniforms or thrift school clothes shopping, i had to smile because that’s the world i knew well, too. it’s a weird time to reflect on. middle school is a strange period; kids are learning things about themselves, about others, about ‘adult things’ in the world, and conversation about it tends to lean into the comical to avoid discomfort. the higurashi cast reflects this from some of the first conversations in the game. i definitely grimaced at some of the more crass bits of dialogue but in the grand scheme it’s more relatable than i feel it is expository. i wasn’t even popular in school at that age but i found solidarity with kids goofing off and just not really knowing what was going on. going with the flow and learning as we figured out how. higurashi reflects that inquisitive age, with all of its embarrassments, in an earnest way.

the aesthetic direction of the game hammers home that era and those sentiments. i’m of the firm belief that the original art and music is the way that higurashi should be seen and heard, because every bit of its personal charm, handmade expression and amateur auteur bursts to life in a way so much more endearing and captivating than the re-releases’ “cleaned up”, standardized presentation. the voice acting work included in the sound novel release completes the picture, with the most passionate and powerful performances i’ve ever heard in a video game, across the cast. it’s the buzz in the microphones, it’s the jpeg artifacting around the complicated hair sprite work, it’s the hand-airbrushed photo backgrounds, the mp3 quality soundtrack that truly piecemeals together the authentic 2002 experience that higurashi embraces and dilapidated equally. higurashi outright requires and demands its context - lodged in the midst of key’s iconic run of air, kanon and clannad, alongside the blossoming mind bending shift towards meta and surrealist writing coming from works like tsukihime and ever17. in order for higurashi to become truly timeless, you must accept it and consider it as being exactly from its era, with all of the patchwork handcrafted humanity that took it there. there is perhaps no atmosphere in gaming as heady, surreal, and uneasy as hinamizawa’s. the shrill singing of the cicadas, the warm afternoon glow, and the lynchian pacing of keenly awkward line after line. the feeling never quite lets up.

and it’s through these imperfections and because of the odd sprite clipping and engine pauses and clipping audio peaking that an effect that could not be replicated intentionally by a modern counterpart occurs. somewhere in onikakushi, the group i’m playing with expressed this uneasy feeling that something lurks within the game itself. in ways, higurashi truly begins to feel like a living being, or at least, the vessel for something much angrier, saddier, and grief-wracked - a host for a bellowing beast scratching at the walls of the game window and begging to be heard and understood. the feeling never quite goes away, even with the shift away from psychological horror in later chapters to lean into societal/political power-vaulting and intense melodrama. higurashi oftentimes leans into sensationalist, breakneck moments and twists, but everything remains grounded, logical, and heartfelt at the core, so what could in a lesser story become jarring feels like a natural symbiosis within its context. on a similar note, where many works influenced by higurashi would prefer the route of “x character initially appears to fill x anime character stereotype but this is actually lampshaded and not true at all because of x circumstances, and when said circumstances are revealed, x character drops these traits and reveals a ‘true’ personality”. this isn’t subversive writing - at least, it’s not smart subversive writing. ryukishi doesn’t abandon the idea of who his characters are at face value, rena remains rena, mion remains mion, satoko and rika are very much themselves - but it’s the complexity with which they’re built upon that makes those foundations so strong. their seemingly archetypical first impressions become cornerstones of their personality and their dependencies as people. when rena lashes out in protection of rika at keiichi, of course it seems natural. of course mion has complicated feelings about her responsibility to her family and her never-ending comparisons to shion - of course it drives her mad that the results of her ‘go-getter leader’ backbone keeps the boy she loves from noticing her. and of course… of course there’s a reason why satoko vies so hard for the attention she does. no wonder she finds joy in being noticed. of course she flourishes in the environments where she gets to be the one provoking a little bit of light-hearted fear. juxtapose those children against the adults that permeate these first few chapters - the adults are every bit as interesting, fulfill the same “stereotype of the genre that’s actually the cornerstone and foundation for something much grander”, but when it’s just these characters in the spotlight, or better on their own, it’s like a completely different world is playing out with different morals and perspectives. hell, there’s an argument to be made that ōishi is higurashi’s most complex, enticing, and interesting character. every bit the shit-eating pig he comes off as at first - and every bit more come the events of say, chapter 3, but it’s still unclear what his agency in everything is, what his beliefs are, and why he’s so intently involved. irie, takano and tomitake remain key figures and if himatsubushi is anything to go off of, i get the feeling there’s an entire story of their own on the horizon. there isn’t anyone here to just fill up time or support a gag. one of the strongest casts in fiction that i’ve come across.

it’s in chapter 3: tatarigoroshi where my opening statement really comes into play, though. it’s here where satoko’s home life becomes the focal point of the story, and where everything about curses and rituals and yakuza and multigenerational sociopolitical powers is all stripepd away and the focus is given to higurashi’s most tragic character. it was around wrapping up chapter 2 where i learned of ryukishi’s history in social work. as satoko’s story unfolded and her life under abuse and neglect became clearer, this is when higurashi’s pinnacle emotional resonance began to take hold. for once, the feeling i got wasn’t just that the creator of a game like this knew about the subject, but that he really knew it on a serious, intimate level and needed to express that somehow. i shed tears for satoko. i shed tears for myself.

keiichi’s development and prophetic transformation come chapter 3 was a hellish spiral to observe. i’ve heard ryukishi compared to dostoevsky before, and this is the first time i truly see it. the comparisons to crime & punishment here are evident; the spiraling mind of a man turned to murder. chapter 2 may’ve been a look into a villainous mind (from our perspective), but this is something new entirely. keiichi is morally justified by his (and my) perspective in his actions, but the slippery slope out of sanity and into post-humanism is a mortifying one to endure. when all is said and done, the inevitable end of chapter 3 may be anticipated, but the depths to which it goes and the manner in which it plays out - in no small part thanks to the largely unsettling final sequence of “keiichi’s” final interview with text overlaying text and utter silence only bled out by radio static - could only be described as truly uncanny and haunting.

i tend to disagree with complaints about higurashi’s pacing - especially considering some of its contemporaries. i found most of the slice of life sequences pretty enjoyable, and some to be among my favorite moments of the early game. i look to watanagashi’s game tournament as an example of one of the highlights. tatarigoroshi’s baseball game led to some pretty amazing character moments from keiichi and satoko. hell, the only episode i didn’t love was the second of watanagashi, just because the perverted humor was a little too much for even my 70s-90s comedy manga raised ass to not get a little annoyed with. i think tatarigoroshi’s pacing remains the best of the four, and from what i understand the slice of life is reduced heavily moving forwards - and i think that’s a good thing. the sol content really benefited the pieces of the story it was there for, and i wouldn’t take it away. these characters wouldn’t have nearly the attachment and foundation they do if those sequences were gone. they feel like friends known intimately and passionately. that makes the chapters’ back halves as effective as they are.

i’ll save my analysis of higurashi’s use of the visual novel medium to tell its story until my group’s completion of chapters 5-8, but i have a working theory about what’s actually going on here, and i haven’t really found anything within the question arcs to disprove it. if i’m right about where this is going, i’ll be happy to talk at length about why i feel higurashi may’ve superseded the need for adaptation, and why i feel it is so integral that this story must be told in exactly the way this visual novel does it. for the meantime, before my theories are set in stone, here’s what i can say. background in the history of the medium here is crucial to siphoning every bit of higurashi’s post-genre approach that one can. it helps to know the formula of the multi-route visual novel, the structure of branching paths and that ultimate reward of a ‘true end’. although my thoughts and predictions generally leaned closer to true than not throughout the questions arc, i never felt above or on top of higurashi’s mystery - i never felt i understood more than i should from the author’s perspective. conferring with my playthrough’s small audience has led to some wild, intensely passionate discussion and we’re all chomping at the bit to see the payoff of the answers arcs. was it worth sitting through onikakushi three times before getting to move forward across various playthroughs? i only loved it and appreciated it more each way through. i can’t wait to be able to view, discuss and analyze the full picture. see you when i wrap up higurashi when they cry kai. as it stands, one of my favorite video games of all time, and hell, one of my favorite and one of the most personally effective pieces of fiction i’ve ever engaged with.