The most realistic "Dad Simulator" since Octodad and God of War.

The dinner scene is the tightest shit since that "business card comparison" moment in American Psycho.

This games sound effects (primarily from the announcer) live in my head rent free.

2022

"Even with my thinning hair, failing eye sight, cerebral palsy, and on-set dementia, I'll still kick your fuckin' ass."

The emperor will stand up from the Golden Throne by the time this game loads me in but when it does, oh boy is it a god damned joy to play. Microtransactions are gay though (and not in the cool way).

Legends say he's still "fixing" the game to this very dayyyyy.....OOOOOOoooOOOOoooO.

You know, I'd beat my wife too if this was what was running through my head on the daily.

This review contains spoilers

T E T R I S

Did you know that the word "Gacha" is pronounced "Gotcha" because they gotcha fuckin wallet heyo.

The gameplay's good if not repetitive without much of a hook beyond the first couple of levels; The music is great and fits very well with the game's themes; The story sucks because it's just there to give you a reason to shoot shit to a beat, and lastly the game isn't very visually appealing in a lot of areas though it does have its moments in later levels. That's Hellsinger in a nutshell, it's probably a 6/10 (3 stars) for me mainly because I set my expectations too high due to the Steam Next Fest demo being so memorable, it just didn't provide anything new beyond its base premise.

At least for this game when people say it takes 60 hours for the story to get good they aren't lying...

Another Xenoblade game with boring combat and a story that takes 60 hours to get good. Oh wait, this is Xenoblade 3, not Xenoblade 2. Yeah nah, stories boring af in this one.

I like pain, but fuckin christ did this game hurt to play. Kinda had the same take with Wrath of the Righteous, but these types of games expect you to min-max the shit out of your character or suffer on even the standard difficulty modes. Ain't nothing wrong with that if you know what you're getting into but I feel really sorry for the people who weren't expecting to have to research or pre-plan their builds ahead of time. If you like DND 3.5, you'll like this game.

Do you believe in love? I do now.

I finally understand why my friends have 100s of hours in this game now..... fuckin pocket-kart racing....