814 reviews liked by tarnkappe


Visceral releases "worst conclusion ever", asked to create Battlefield spinoff

Bioware's, or more specifically Drew Karpyshyn's, keen understanding and love of Star Wars shines right through in the quintessential Jedi Knight "KOTOR 3" storyline in this, as does of the majority who proclaim it captures what Star Wars is ultimately about and supposed to be like. That is to say "a hero's journey" where the self-insert Gary Stu/Mary Sue mindlessly follows orders and mows down hundreds of imperial mooks along their path towards defeating the irredeemably evil bigbad with their blue glowstick, as we all know. If there were a dialogue option for the player to retort to the emperor's villainous monologue of vagaries at the end with "AND I AM ALL TEH JEDAI!" or some such it would've been truly perfect, I think Us Star Wars iconography enjoyers can all agree. At least unlike the previous attempt at a superficial facsimile of the movies by Bioware, the token R2-D2 homage party member in this is something akin to a "character" rather than a literal plot device with zero relevance or even personality beyond being needed to open a door on the tutorial planet. KOTOR 2 was quite a subversive deconstruction of the source material in regards to how its narrative handled T3M4 instead, amirite or amirite, my fellow fans of mediocre VNs and WorloWarcrap: Catalyst...? End of line.

PS: im so so sorry for not updating my blog in a more timely manner and aptly posting this on teh fourth of may for the annual CelebratioN of a multibillion£€$ zombie franchise

Video game equivalent to a Domino's pizza on friday night with da homies.

I don't like sequels in general, yes, but at least some sequels solve the issues of their first game, which is good obviously

in this case, literally NONE of the issues were adressed(EDIT:enemy projectiles can no longer be destroyed by your attacks, at least with the staff, that's one thing they actually addressed). None. Enemies are still stunlockable, armored enemies are present, dash is... ok, literally everything is almost the same, alright. There are more attacks, yes... This game is a mindless clicker on stunlocked enemies 30% of the time and 70% of the time it's a run & gun from armored enemies (Hades 1 was kinda the same, but at least there were less armored enemies and default attack wasn't AOE on any weapon (that's why "stunlock simulator" happened only on 1-3 enemies at a time in the first game)), it's funny. Builds are also the same, except for now you have like 4 more attack than before and a new mana system. Like that matters, because the dominant strategy is still pretty much "just invest in one attack and spam it for the rest of the run". And yes, it's gonna get goty and indie game of the year and game of the game of something
My only hope is that they will make NG+ system actually good, but we will see
No, it's not bad of me to review a game that has JUST released in early access, because all of the issues stated above will stay the same. Minus points for being a sequel to roguelike only after 4 years, minus points for being a sequel that doesn't make anything better, only add on to. I have my insane reasons to lower the score of games, sorry

CowabungA...HAHAHA, dats Literally Me! a genuine guru of the ancient martial art of fragging, and naturally in turn an affectionate aficionado of gUrls😻, who sometimes says mean naughty stuff liable to get one banD in every modern online game or even this here fine establishment where We Esteemed Gentlemen hand out a due rating of at least five pentacles to GoddoHando and other games by Hideo Kojima (sir, I donot regret my words&deeds, and you shouldNot either...). Thanks to my teacher, Cumfuccius, I now straferun like water, the harmonious balance of the 'Based&Cringe' is the key to cultivating Chi powerlevels beyond imagining, believ it or not fellow "humorists".. my crystal is becoming so pure&p0werful Iwill be able to build a lightsaber with it one of these days...