I have a newfound respect for mountain climbers after playing this game. Fucked up what they go through

I called this game comfy and one of my friends called me a freak. I don't care, it's comfy

thanks to this game when i was like 10 i looked super smart in front of my teacher because we had an assignment to try and name stuff from the 60s and i said the cuban missile crisis and just rode that high

yeah people remember the most random shit huh

the egg carrier theme alone means anyone who gave this game a 3.0 or under is out of their mind, sorry. im sorry u werent entertained by sonic going "ready?? 🤓🤓🤓" every time he has to charge a light speed attack or big the cat SOLOING chaos 6 in what has to be the shortest boss battle of all time (tvtropes powerscalers say hes capable of class z-2 omniversal annihilation in this one), or gamma just somehow managing to tell an oddly emotional existential story completely lacking in the bombast that strings the rest of the game along. thank you random npc

people dont even hate on this game for the right reasons. having to play sky chase 4 times and fight chaos 4 3 times is way more annoying than any of big's levels lol. you literally play sky chase the same amount of times as big has levels and each one is longer!! and its just kinda braindead!! fuck sky chase it sucked in sonic 2 and it sucks in this!! and i also read someone calling the final boss bad. did you even watch dbz?

its very funny to imagine the universe where sonic adventure came out as an rpg as originally intended. people would be comparing its multicharacter storytelling with live a live and all u fishing in rpgs ppl would have SOYED at being forced to fish for an entire campaign. but alas

look at amy's face. thats all i have to say there, its an aesthetically distraught face. thats like half a star on its own. thats the face of a girl who breaks a tony hawk record tenfold every time she swings her hammer while running

the virgin "koji kondo loads a cart with rompler sounds" mario 64 vs the chad "we got 5 people on guitar and 6 people on bass" sonic adventure. u get this free y2k-ass 3d platformer with talking animals alongside that album you bought, how cool is that. no wonder they stopped making consoles 3 years later with a business model like that. they mustve run out of the sound budget when it came to recording eggman's lines bc they reuse them so hard that its incredibly funny hearing him say "he's not going to get away with this!" like 5 times in the egg viper fight and then the exact same line w/ same cadence in a super sonic story cutscene shortly after

huge fan of giving sonic a very broken spindash and tails the ability to fly and making the levels large and branching (like the classic games) with this in mind. the proto-parkour of the future. shame it never returns for any other sonic game ever!

After all these years, Cave Story has cemented itself as a legend and titan of the indie game scene. This must've set a hell of an example back in '04 as a type of game that AAA was moving away from (that we appreciated was still being made), and as something truly accessible to anyone with a computer, while being consistently quality throughout. A one-man passion project that somehow manages to hold its own in a fair few ways - the music slaps, the gameplay is solid and has cool ideas, the theming of the game is cute with a lovable cast... who knows how many creators this inspired. It being free ensured that so many people were able t- wait shit this isnt that one. yeah fuck there's a + on the end of the title lmao i goofed hard. uhhh lemme fix that rating real qui

not going to give a proper review for this. i typed up my delirious shopping list and am not going to edit it. sorry. the ultrahand glue fumes got me.

as someone who dropped botw after a few hours, this still does a lot of the same stuff i dont like but i kinda kept playing it anyway. no real reason. im just a fan of retreading stuff out of peer pressure

leaving this as “complete” even though i still have to do some endgame stuff please dont tell the backloggd police. itll be accurate by tomorrow i swear. (its all good now)

things i liked:
Sound Design - he goes pitter patter!!
Graphed icks - i think this “cel shading” thing shows promise !
Polish - theyre juggling all of the variables. x, y, z, omega, backwards w, all those letters. other games fall apart when you click to fire the gun. which is more relatable to me but we cant have that now
Music in the Towns - cool stuff, heard an erhu in there a bunch. good instrument, checks my box
Main Abilities - the phys gun thingy is a good gimmick to centre a game around. the other 3 are also good like the rewind time one. now i finally understand king crimson kinda. the botw ones are lame and i cant pretend im jojo in that one
Moon Logic needed to get to the Dungeons - this is good it feels like im really in a legend of

things i kinda liked but kinda didnt like:
Combat - yeah i could do something GOOFY with the phys gun or i can just mash Y a bunch with the weapon im already holding. “weapon durability” is not real anyway you get 1000 knives (rip goat) you can all fuse together with the 5349022 different body parts looted in your backpack. the mokoboboblins all act the same, the like likes spit a few balls at you with the energy of a pensioner. but hitting things with a stick is visceral and timeless so its all good (i do not beat pensioners with sticks)
Sky Islands - theyre samey but a good change of pace. i would see them and have to open the map to be like “have i actually been to this one” because theyre just not visually distinct.
Devices and Gadgets - this is like fine but my approach to anything is never going to be to open a huge ass menu and sift through it, if you already give me the planks and wheels i need to do [TASK] at [LOCATION]
Story - the “memories” part of this game actually gets cool once it gets going. but until then its all just kinda monotonous and i dont care about any of these people. sorry for your kingdom or happy that happened
Dungeons - some of this is fun but if i wanted to visit 5 rooms and call it a day id go to a museum
The World - its too big but theres some cool stuff. this doubles for real life

things i didnt like:
Shrines - you didnt need to make them all look and sound the same. only 10% of these are actually really any fun, im not a preschooler anymore. come on guys i thought people were telling you this 6 years ago
Music Elsewhere - not against a minimalist impressionist thing but both this and the botw ones still just go in one ear out the other
Depths - not fun to navigate, the rewards arent cool, it all looks the same. i see why it wasnt advertised much lol
Cutscenes - hmm this is a non linear game so to ensure people get the memo we will give the same speech at 4 different mandatory locations - “game design” and “narrative effect”. im good
Voice Acting - you can switch to japanese though
Quests - kinda boring
Materials Menu - this is soooooo big lmao. the up button menu is unusable if you dont sort it by “most used”. there was something better that couldve been done here. sorry ill end the review now that its getting to nitpicks


it may have strayed from the series roots, but theres still a bunch of different collectibles and you can make wheely cars that go FAST so whos to say if banjo kazooie: nuts and bolts is really bad. also im pretty sure they play the among us theme in the shrines so i see why the kingdom is malding

trans fishers made this game so rating it anything lower than a 10/10 is literally transphobic

This is the greatest word in the english language I cant stop saying it. Poinpy. Poinpy. This shit poinps. Hardest word of all time. Poinpy

Struggling to think of another game on this site where every review seems to acknowledge it sucks and then gives it a 3+ anyway

this is the game for people who enjoy pressing the A button and sometimes the B button as well

This review contains spoilers

Celeste is a game about climbing a mountain. From what I observe generally, people see that, play it, get to the Summit chapter, conclude with "yeah that was pretty good, a bit heavy-handed with the main metaphor, but it was pleasant enough" and move on. Maybe they'll try some B-side bonus content, maybe they'll play a bit of the PICO-8 original, but most people I've seen are happy enough leaving that as the experience. The story is over, right? Why keep playing? She had to overcome the mountain, and she did just that. That's the end of it.

But what if you kept going?

What if you came back with the 4 Crystal Hearts for Chapter 8, with Madeline revisiting the mountain an in-game year later? She had no real reason for being there in the first place, and now she's there again. Why are you still there and not playing something else? Was it the gameplay that was so intricately crafted, Maddy's still updating it years later to improve the feel on a microscopic level? Lena Raine's shimmering arpeggios? The friendly cast of faces Madeline met with, brought to life with voices that were actually ridiculously elaborate in implementation? A perhaps too simple and saccharine approach to mental health draped in pastel colours, that made for a warm and relatable enough environment you could maybe appreciate nonetheless? Even from this game's biggest detractors, I still usually hear "it's so polished tho". The amount of care that went into Celeste fires through on all cylinders.

Okay, but what if you just kept going.

What if you did all the B-sides. And now the C-sides. Every strawberry. The golden strawberries too maybe? That one achievement where you get 6 strawberries back to back? Speedruns? Custom levels?

Completionism is pretty normal territory for people that really like a game, and Farewell muscles its way in as one more thing to check off the list. Some time long ago, Celeste stopped being a game primarily about climbing a mountain for these people, as they had found themselves consumed in every bit of the experience. Trying to fill that cake Madeline bakes at the end with as many strawberries as they could. Really milking that climbing action.

Not moving on.

So isn't it funny that Farewell's a story about grief, pelting Madeline every few minutes with "hey, you should move on now"? Part of Her gives up with reasoning as to why she shouldn't be using her psychic mountain climbing powers to spend the entire chapter chasing after a bird. She met Granny, she climbed that mountain, these were events in the past. She should just move on now. You're still playing Celeste, named after the mountain you're meant to be climbing, even though you painstakingly covered every inch of it already. "The mountain looks like a molehill from here," she remarks, even though you're still playing Celeste.

Madeline contorts herself in dashes and obscure movement techs, in order to scrape through the most pulverising screens the game now has to offer, because you just can't get enough of the climb. Even when there's no mountain left, when she's lost in dreams of exploding puffer fish, flying jellyfish (...green moose, guava juice), as the game is throwing literally every gimmick you've seen up to this point while introducing new shit at the 11th hour, glitching out, putting up barriers, demanding wavedash finesse, it's hard to stop playing. I quite like it giving you a Crystal Heart that doesn't count at one point, to tie together the completionism with grief further. "Empty Space". Maybe depicting grief with even more shmovement than dysphoria depression and anxiety in the main game might be just as whitewashy, or worse. It still feels well-intentioned enough, ending on a really sweet note, and there's no "omg selfies #buzzed YOLOOO!!" talk going on this time. Sorry Theo.

Farewell is a message to those fans ultimately. Not the ones that just dipped after beating it, but the ones that really exhausted that damn mountain. It was originally intended to be played after beating every C-side, though it pops up innocuously for anyone newly done with Chapter 8, only unceremoniously gating them halfway through (and requiring 15 Crystal Hearts, as opposed to 23). This is maybe my biggest complaint, as the only warning sign here saying "hey, maybe don't play this until you've worked through all the content?" prior to that is the fact that Madeline is just chilling in the 7C scenery upon starting it — something only people that already played 7C would catch onto.

Despite the stellar rating curve on the left there (which I suspect has some survivor bias), I'd say Farewell is a bit more polarising in how it's been received, judging from people's reactions online. It's obscenely difficult and seriously expects you to master some fairly obscure movement, introduced with as much grace as exploding fish to the face, as per how I expect the average experience went for a lot of people:

"Oh cool, I unlocked Ch 9 after beating Ch 8."
"Why is this so fucking hard? What is all this shit?"
"I need FIFTEEN HEARTS to get past that gate? After all that?"
(if they actually went and did that) "This game has WAVEDASHING??"

Such a clumsy way of going "oh anyone can play this but uh, actually no, sorry. It's for the hardcore fans lol". Farewell just ends up recontextualising all that "optional" stuff as a much more integral part of the game. It's titled and presented in such a way that anyone can clearly see that this is now that resolving piano chord at the end of it all, giving Celeste an air of finality, but its deceptive title of "Chapter 9" just works against it when there's a sea of content directly preceding it.

Despite all of that though, I'm confident in saying that this is my favourite part of Celeste. The twinkly luminous environs, the music ebbing back and forth from foreign to familiar as new motifs are weaved in with old... Madeline's just zooming, wavedashing, wallbouncing off of the most disjunct objects in this spaced out dreamy... aquarium... techno-observatory? I love how that visual style comes together when there are like 4 different themes being patchworked together. Every 5 seconds you're demanded to do some nebulous, evil oneiro-parkour, but you can't stop. You made it this far and you're not missing that last screen, damn it. Dash, dash, scrape against spikes, die. Just in this zen stupor, set to these spaced out surroundings, retooling yourself again and again. This was my 3rd playthrough of this game over the last 5 years, and my 2nd time ending on Farewell. It really truly feels wrong to me to actually stop playing at any point before Farewell. It's one of the most beautiful endings to any game I've played, and one I keep feeling eager to come back to in spite of thousands of deaths.

Happy 5th anniversary Celeste. Farewell for now.

--------------------------
A couple notes:

- I don't actually know why this is listed separately on IGDB. It's literally a free update and part of every Celeste copy, and you can't play it separately lol. I appreciate it because it feels disconnected and separate enough to the main narrative, but it'd be like if the third semester in Persona 5 Royal got its own page. That shit would have like a 4.9 average. Scary.

- They're very different ultimately, but the whole experience of physics-platforming as a girl in a surreal dream world and constantly being met with the most devious screens makes me think of Umihara Kawase. That game/series is awesome and I'd recommend checking it out if you haven't. More games like this please.

ive been constantly thinking about this eva manga edit where kaworu has a gamer headset on and he says to shinji "the ops are black, apparently" and ive been unable to find this image for years

damn they got sin AND punishment? talk about stacked

set aside takes on whether the game is good or whatever. the rating is tied to how much i loved it as a kid, i havent finished replaying and there are more important things to discuss anyway:

mario goes to fucking JAIL. you ever think about that? i mean sit down, and really think about it. i think our society has normalised the fact that mario goes to jail in super mario sunshine. dude literally gets taken to court and handed a sentence. this would NEVER happen in a mario game today. and here it is, in the first 10 minutes. then he has to do community service??? THEY EVEN MADE WANTED POSTERS. i think if you suggested this as a plot for any big nintendo IP you'd get laughed at. can you imagine the next pokemon game starting like this? this game came out in 2002, and truthfully, i am nowhere near old enough to remember people's immediate reactions to it. but i think more games should send their protagonists to jail. ignoring that the plot here is a retread of one of the greatest written games of all time, sonic adventure 2, which came out a year before sunshine, this was a very bold move for the series.

i had to look up the name of the wonderful writer who decided to send mario to jail - makoto wada. interestingly, this is his only writing credit for a mario game (besides 2000's mario artist for the 64DD). can you imagine the state of the mario canon if it was left in his hands? you know those joke games with fake box art with like, "Yoshi Commits Tax Fraud". you ever think about how mario sunshine was officially that, way back?

the rest of the game no doubt delivers on its bizarre premise, as mario is made to clean up psychedelic goop for a good 20 hours, ride a soluble yoshi, become an eel dentist among many other things, before finally topping it off with flipping bowser out of his bathtub. but really, mario sunshine deserves to go down in history as the game that dared send gaming's biggest icon to the slammer.

this is Grove Street Games you guys... CJ and his brother made this all by themselves... be nice :(