Imagining this being played by its target audience, but, more specifically, a version of myself who is young enough to be the target audience. I download it at the age of 8 and barely survive the first 19 minutes because of the terrifying Viva Pinata bird. Minute 20 hits and I come face-to-face with Jumbo Josh; his goofy fucking face comes out of the darkness and I start absolutely screaming. I am not okay. My mom bursts into the room and asks what's wrong and then gets really annoyed when I tell her it's because Garten of Banban scared me and we get in an argument over how she knew she couldn't trust me not to play something inappropriate and I get sent to my room. Later on that night I hear my mom say "this is why the computer isn't good for him!" and my dad starts arguing back about how I'm a growing boy. They're screaming now at each other and usually that would already be upsetting but it's even worse because all the while I'm fucking terrified that Jumbo Josh is going to burst into the living room and kill them both. I go to school the next day and all the kids have just watched the Markiplier playthrough of Garten of Banban 2 and they ask me what I thought of it and I sheepishly say I'm not allowed to play Garten of Banban and one of them calls me a pussy and gets sent to the principle's office for it and the whole class hates me. I didn't even rat him out someone was just around to hear him say it but they all still blame me. On the way out to the busses at the end of the day I walk by a kid wearing the $59.99 "Banban's Party" backpack you can buy from a link on the game's main menu and I see Jumbo Josh and start freaking out again. Was going to rate this one star but I'm mad now because this could have happened to me so now it's getting half a star.

The absolute bottom of the barrel of mascot horror and horror in general. And this goes for all of the sequels, since they were too pretentious to release them as chapters and instead called them fleshed out games, which I won't be paying for.
Other than the first game, which is a boring nothing-burger, the other games are repetitive walking simulators with god awful voice acting and a story that so far could be written by a middle schooler. The character designs are idiotic and in no way scary, and hardly even resembles what most people would consider a "mascot".
The game is basically everything people complain about in mascot horror accumulated into a game. It's the most uninspired and soulless series of horror games to date with nothing except a meme following and I would be suprised if any game in the future can top it. I consider Garten of Banban to be a cautious tale of just how bad things can get when people allow themselves to consume any cash grab that gets churned out by the machine.

im not even gonna bother giving this a fake 5 star review for the joke because this genuinely should never have became a popular series even if it was for ironic reasons

every entry is devoid of any effort or creativity to the point where it's infuriating. it only exists to take advantage of the younger horror audience obsessed with shit like bendy or poppy's playtime to make money.

the modeling work is abysmal and any and all actually decent looking models in the games are all from either the unreal asset store OR are from other people. animations look like they were made in mere minutes. the story of the main protagonist looking for their child, even though it is a bland concept to begin with, it all gets thrown out the window for dogshit filler that just feels like empty nothingness with dialogue that all sounds like chatgpt generations

nothing can convince me that ANY thought was put into ANY of these games. they are worthless and i long for the inevitable future where it is all forgotten and nobody will feed into no effort garbage like this anymore. not even for the joke

This game is not good. Like what most people are saying, it's not a great game. If the Average Rating of the game being 1.4 wasn't a clear indicator of that, then I don't know. But, I'm here to be different. Very different. What I am about to say, doesn't mean that I like the game, or that I think it's well made, it's just my thoughts on it as a whole, and comparing it to other Mascot Horrors, and Indie Horrors at the time right now.

First off, this game is made by 2 people, 2 brothers, who are in College, supposedly, and are making these in their free time, as a passion project of theirs. Whether you like the games or not, whether you think they are shit or not, these developers, these brothers, love this product that they have made.

I personally don't think it is a well made game, if you want me to be blunt. It's poorly made, the graphics are bad, the modelling is bad, though that semi improves as the series goes on. The story is nonsensical, and makes no sense whatsoever. It's 20 minutes long. It's generic. It's bad. It's capitalizing on this very popular genre.

Though, despite all of that, it doesn't personally offend me with how bad of a game it is. If I were to rate it, it is very generic, it has the generic Mascot Horror plot beats. It has the average type of gameplay as every Indie Horror nowadays. It just falls into the same category as what Bendy is, or what Five Nights at Freddy's is nowadays. It's the same, almost. Yet people love those other games to death.

This game is also free, while the others are not, the first game is, so I think partially, it justifies some of the issues, that you don't have to pay for it.

You can kind of feel the labor of love that this game is, even if you find it bad, there is that charm in it. That love that the developers have for game-making, and hopefully, and maybe, when they finish Garten of BanBan, and they finish the story, and milk it to the max of what they can. Maybe just maybe, they move onto a new project, a new IP, and they learn from their mistakes, and give it their all, and make something truly good. And that's what I hope.

Overall: 4/10

nigga tht shit was scary as fuck oh my god who's adam though??? and why was his plane ticket in that shit.. and was jumbo josh tryin to help? I wonder if the playable guy in GoB2 is the same guy or if its a different guy... that bird was makin me shit myself bitch ughghghjbhkgnrkbjn im so glad there was only one monster walkin around :(

mr. shitty drone, youre the realest ik
uhh i liked the game,,,.., though..,,,,,
so,,, yeah. ill be playing the second one....