DeemonAndGames
2022
C'mon boys, won't you shake a poor sinner’s hand?
Me and my girlfriend played this together and we felt like the smartest persons ever alive every time we solved one of the levels, yes, is THAT kind of game.
Handshakes was an extremely pleasant surprise, what seemed like a charming albeit simple free experience ended up being an incredible puzzle game, with thoughtful and fun level design and concept, and was a blast to go through.
Sure, a really plain visual style, just having one song and its briefness are things that do hold it back, but don't drag the experience in the slightest. Some levels here are amazing, and what seems like such limiting concept ends up giving some amazing puzzles; it's a very smart game, not only because it makes you FEEL smart, but it also knows how to use its elements and mechanics to their fullest potential, they may be simple additions, but they feel game-changing, and in a way they are. The level ‘’Not what it seems’’ ended up being one of my favorites despite being one of the simplest, it’s just… chef’s kiss.
Also, after playing a puzzle game without a rewind feature, this one having felt like the fucking ascension.
I don't know, it just was an extremely cool and pleasant puzzle game, just a couple of guys being dudes, shaking hands and having really fun puzzle design. I cannot wait for the sequel, it has the potential to be something incredible, and I'm all here for it.
Are you ready?!
Me and my girlfriend played this together and we felt like the smartest persons ever alive every time we solved one of the levels, yes, is THAT kind of game.
Handshakes was an extremely pleasant surprise, what seemed like a charming albeit simple free experience ended up being an incredible puzzle game, with thoughtful and fun level design and concept, and was a blast to go through.
Sure, a really plain visual style, just having one song and its briefness are things that do hold it back, but don't drag the experience in the slightest. Some levels here are amazing, and what seems like such limiting concept ends up giving some amazing puzzles; it's a very smart game, not only because it makes you FEEL smart, but it also knows how to use its elements and mechanics to their fullest potential, they may be simple additions, but they feel game-changing, and in a way they are. The level ‘’Not what it seems’’ ended up being one of my favorites despite being one of the simplest, it’s just… chef’s kiss.
Also, after playing a puzzle game without a rewind feature, this one having felt like the fucking ascension.
I don't know, it just was an extremely cool and pleasant puzzle game, just a couple of guys being dudes, shaking hands and having really fun puzzle design. I cannot wait for the sequel, it has the potential to be something incredible, and I'm all here for it.
Are you ready?!
2011
I can't even bring myself to make a joke calling this game bad because there's no ape cube, because we've gotten something better instead... ROBO APE.
Good luck!
It’s complicated to talk about 64 3D for many different reasons; for one, it’s the remake of a beloved classic that, even if still faithful, adds and changes enough stuff to make it far more than a simple port or graphical update, and as such I have to see it both as the original on rail shooter that released for the Nintendo 64 and as a product that aspires to improve it, and doing both things is a doozy, specially for a fella such as myself. But that’s not all, ‘cause I also run the risk of repeating myself, Star Fox 64 is the culmination of a game that released 4 years prior to it and of the sequel that never released until very recently, it follows most of the game design philosophies as its original predecessor did, and that something that’s even reflected on the story, being a re-telling of that said first adventure. It didn’t revolutionize the formula, it didn’t reinvent the wheel, it just did more of the same but with more polygons and a better framerate. So, how do I talk about a game that just does more of the same without reiterating what me and so many others have said about the original game, and more importantly, does 64 really have value on its own?..
Of fucking course it does, did yo- did you really doubt it? Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!
Star Fox 64 feels like the exact game the team wanted to make from the very beginning, and it takes every idea that was pre-established in the past games, both un-released and released, and kicks them up a notch to the point every positive thing I once said about the past games is doubled in quality. Sure, there are still some things that don’t have the polish that they could have gotten: free flying is still a bit unreliable and it makes the battles against Star Wolf pretty darn frustrating, plus some power ups can feel a bit inconsequential and some attacks from certain bosses don’t feel telegraphed enough and can be pretty confusing to dodge, but the negatives I may have pale in comparison to the positives. The once otherworldly war that the first game put us on now turns in a galaxy wide conflict against the mechanical and rusty nightmares of Andross, and the sheer scale of the levels and enemies, plus some additions of this 3D version in regards to the presentation, make the feeling of racing against the clock grander than ever before; this a conflict that is corrupting and desolating very corner of the galaxy, and be it an attack on the capital, an enemy train sending bombs to the enemy line for them to use, or a star that has been corrupted by the evil scientist, is as terrifyingly destructive as it is fun, and it all bends together in making these phases the best of the series by far, as well as the most environmentally and narratively rich game in the franchise. Replayability is also the best it’s ever been, we still have s ton of possible routes to take, each different on their own way; each planet or asteroid field is its own world in every possible way, and I’ve never had the urge to explore and re-play a game so badly in a long time, I was happy even when I lost my first run, ‘cause that meant I’d see another planets and interactions, and that made losing more than worth it. Your team has also seen a huge upgrade, not so much because they are more competent, they are still their usual useless selves and having to save their asses constantly can be a bit tiring, but it’s all worth it when they all are so damn charming and have actual use beyond normal combat; Falcon’s witty and critical attitude can lead to amazing interactions with enemies and bosses, and having Slippy or not in the team will mark the difference between being able to see the boss’ health bar or not. The dialogue, the visual spectacle, the bosses, the music… This is Star Fox in a whole another level, and the 3D remaking makes it nothing but even more incredible.
If the original 64 was already praised for looking pretty good, 64 3D takes it to a whole other galaxy. It's not so much that the visual aspect is astonishing, tho it's an upgrade for sure, but that just the style and even the scale are so much grander, and it nails that Star Wars feeling in the best of ways, it’s like playing a movie or chapters of a TV space show. To my understanding, a lot of people didn’t really like the new voices and dialogue changes, but I can’t really speak for that since I played it with the brand new Spanish voices, which to my liking are fantastic, so hey, a soul for a soul I guess, specially considering is in even more languages.
Star Fox 64 3D and, for that matter, Star Fox 64 are, while still not perfect, the peak of the series, reaching bounds higher than I could have imagined and it was a ton of fun. It’s prove that you don’t always need breaking new ideas to make a fantastic sequel, you just need passion, good ideas and know where to expand and perfectionate on what was what established, a lesson that, funnily enough, this same series would end up forgetting not that long after…
Also, fun fact that nobody but me cares about, but turns out that the Spanish voice actor for Fox is the same actor that gives voice to… sigh… Sonic… It’s official, I cannot escape the blue rat. I’m too slow.
Good luck!
It’s complicated to talk about 64 3D for many different reasons; for one, it’s the remake of a beloved classic that, even if still faithful, adds and changes enough stuff to make it far more than a simple port or graphical update, and as such I have to see it both as the original on rail shooter that released for the Nintendo 64 and as a product that aspires to improve it, and doing both things is a doozy, specially for a fella such as myself. But that’s not all, ‘cause I also run the risk of repeating myself, Star Fox 64 is the culmination of a game that released 4 years prior to it and of the sequel that never released until very recently, it follows most of the game design philosophies as its original predecessor did, and that something that’s even reflected on the story, being a re-telling of that said first adventure. It didn’t revolutionize the formula, it didn’t reinvent the wheel, it just did more of the same but with more polygons and a better framerate. So, how do I talk about a game that just does more of the same without reiterating what me and so many others have said about the original game, and more importantly, does 64 really have value on its own?..
Of fucking course it does, did yo- did you really doubt it? Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!
Star Fox 64 feels like the exact game the team wanted to make from the very beginning, and it takes every idea that was pre-established in the past games, both un-released and released, and kicks them up a notch to the point every positive thing I once said about the past games is doubled in quality. Sure, there are still some things that don’t have the polish that they could have gotten: free flying is still a bit unreliable and it makes the battles against Star Wolf pretty darn frustrating, plus some power ups can feel a bit inconsequential and some attacks from certain bosses don’t feel telegraphed enough and can be pretty confusing to dodge, but the negatives I may have pale in comparison to the positives. The once otherworldly war that the first game put us on now turns in a galaxy wide conflict against the mechanical and rusty nightmares of Andross, and the sheer scale of the levels and enemies, plus some additions of this 3D version in regards to the presentation, make the feeling of racing against the clock grander than ever before; this a conflict that is corrupting and desolating very corner of the galaxy, and be it an attack on the capital, an enemy train sending bombs to the enemy line for them to use, or a star that has been corrupted by the evil scientist, is as terrifyingly destructive as it is fun, and it all bends together in making these phases the best of the series by far, as well as the most environmentally and narratively rich game in the franchise. Replayability is also the best it’s ever been, we still have s ton of possible routes to take, each different on their own way; each planet or asteroid field is its own world in every possible way, and I’ve never had the urge to explore and re-play a game so badly in a long time, I was happy even when I lost my first run, ‘cause that meant I’d see another planets and interactions, and that made losing more than worth it. Your team has also seen a huge upgrade, not so much because they are more competent, they are still their usual useless selves and having to save their asses constantly can be a bit tiring, but it’s all worth it when they all are so damn charming and have actual use beyond normal combat; Falcon’s witty and critical attitude can lead to amazing interactions with enemies and bosses, and having Slippy or not in the team will mark the difference between being able to see the boss’ health bar or not. The dialogue, the visual spectacle, the bosses, the music… This is Star Fox in a whole another level, and the 3D remaking makes it nothing but even more incredible.
If the original 64 was already praised for looking pretty good, 64 3D takes it to a whole other galaxy. It's not so much that the visual aspect is astonishing, tho it's an upgrade for sure, but that just the style and even the scale are so much grander, and it nails that Star Wars feeling in the best of ways, it’s like playing a movie or chapters of a TV space show. To my understanding, a lot of people didn’t really like the new voices and dialogue changes, but I can’t really speak for that since I played it with the brand new Spanish voices, which to my liking are fantastic, so hey, a soul for a soul I guess, specially considering is in even more languages.
Star Fox 64 3D and, for that matter, Star Fox 64 are, while still not perfect, the peak of the series, reaching bounds higher than I could have imagined and it was a ton of fun. It’s prove that you don’t always need breaking new ideas to make a fantastic sequel, you just need passion, good ideas and know where to expand and perfectionate on what was what established, a lesson that, funnily enough, this same series would end up forgetting not that long after…
Also, fun fact that nobody but me cares about, but turns out that the Spanish voice actor for Fox is the same actor that gives voice to… sigh… Sonic… It’s official, I cannot escape the blue rat. I’m too slow.
THE TRIAL OF DEEMON
The accused is charged with multiple crimes, such as leaving and detonating random weapon-shaped explosives in the middle of public spaces, defamation of Mr. Jimmy ‘’Jimmy T’’ Thang in a court of law, and latest of all, being the main suspect behind the Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog™. How does the defendant plead?
-… I believe that it’s in my best interest to speak with my lawyers first…
=================================================
So… if you’ve read any of my Sonic related reviews, you may have noticed that I share a strange relation with the blue mammal, and by strange I mean that despite claiming I’m familiar with the character and the series, before this year I had beaten like… 2 of his games. And hey, it’s not my fault that I happen to suck balls at the speedy simulators… well maybe it is but I digress; my point is that yeah, only now I am finally really getting into the Sonic franchise as a whole an learning more of its philosophy and design decisions, but much, MUCH before that, I became a fan more-so because of its world and characters… I’m gonna point to Sonic X as the main culprit for that because I have no fucking clue how I learnt of these guys personalities otherwise.
Still, it’s not like I was ever a big fan, even in my youngest years I probably would have said I was more of a Mario guy just after finishing eating crayons, but that didn’t change the fact that I actually quite enjoyed the personalities of Sonic’s cast; I really loved the main trio of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles, Robotnik is to this day one of my favorite videogame villains thanks to its personality and the fact its still a sort of meme among me and my friends, and Vector was always the coolest fucking guy to ever walk a 2D or 3D space so of course he would become my favorite character in the franchise. These and all of the Mobius inhabitants have an unequivocal charm that’s easy to like, even when the games and stories they tackle pull off some weird ass shit, you are bound to find at least one of the characters pretty charismatic. I myself tend to prefer when Sonic its at its more cartoony, its more goofy and laid-back, cause even then it manages to make some interesting narratives and seeing these Looney Toon motherfuckers interact and evolve even with its incredibly define quirks and traits it’s a joy (and you thought I was pedantic already, watch me when I pull my full blown analysis on Sonic’s narrative and characterization…)
The series knew how to be charming with its protagonist and it captivated me through that, but it wasn’t enough to grab me completely and convince me to sit through the games till their ending, and a big reason that I didn’t fall off completely from the franchise is in big part thanks to my girlfriend, who is much bigger fan of Sonic than I, despite having a kind of love-hate relationship with the series. But aside from the likes of Mania and Generations, I still reluctant to getting more into the games, of finally seeing more of Sonic and their buddies aside from random cinematics on youtube and clips from SatAM, but in the back of my mind, I was always secretly waiting for a perhaps more narrative focused Sonic game, one that kept the simplicity and goofiness that I love, but was more about the characters and interactions, something that finally gave the chance for this fellas to shine once again, to captivate me once again…
It's honestly fucking hilarious that the way they did it was by killing the son of a bitch.
=================================================
Mr.Deemon, you seem to be doing a mockery out of this court room, I’m gonna ask you once again to speak the truth and nothing by the truth, stop avoiding the question and telling us, did you Murder Sonic the Hedgehog™?
-Well first of all that feels like too direct and personal of a question, but I’ll say that that this all very funny to put the blame on me considering that porcupine’s obsession with dying; like, have you see him falling to his death time and time again? Have you seen his obsession with drowning clearly visible in its first game? Have you seen his reluctance to make a normal-ass jump like a basic platformer mascot? Have you tried controlling him through a fucking touch screen? Have you tried getting the fucKING CHAOS EMERALDS WITHOUT LOSING YOUR SANIITY?! I DID, AND YEAH, I ADMIDT IT, I KILLED THE BLUE BASTARD, THE POINTY MOTHERFUCKER WAS PRACTICALLY ASKING FOR IT, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I’D DO IT AGAIN, ‘CAUSE I LIKE IT, I-
=================================================
Funny thing is, I already saw everything this game and to offer back when I watched my girlfriend play it, but decided to hold on writing a review for it until I tried it for myself… let’s just say it took a while for that to happen.
Still, even after my replay and trying for myself the little active gameplay it has to offer, that first experience of seeing it it’s what I think of first when ponding about it, and I mean, obviously it was a ton of more fun, but even beyond that, I think that playing it that way, with someone else by your side, was by far the best way anyone could experience The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog .
To be surprised just as it released on Steam to the surprise of all and the excitement of many (my girlfriend one of them), to jump together into whatever this was about to be, to be enamored by the amazing drawn art-style, to laugh and enjoy at the actually pretty funny jokes, to give voices to each of the characters and trying that they somewhat fit but then failing miserably (something I seem to be an expert of when it comes to voice-acting) and just… enjoying this wonderful, out of nowhere surprise.
Looking at the dates, it’s clear that they wanted this to be some kind of free April fools spoof, but it’s so much, much more than that. The passion and effort put into is clear as day, it’s nothing crazy of course, but it didn’t have to be that, hell, it didn’t even have to exist in the first place, but it does! And I’m so glad it’s thing if only for that wonderful random heist scene, for the snarky-ass dialogue that got a chuckle out of me several times, for sharing that fun moment with someone else that enjoys these characters as much as I and even more, to feel that warmth of a cozy, cartoony adventure… and most of all to see Vector once againLET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO VECTOR THE GOAT BABY BUY TEAM CHAOTIX LET’S GOOOOOOOOO-
Sure, some jokes do not land, the overall murder mystery ends in a super strange and kind of confusing way, it really seemed like they were preparing for the goofiest ending imaginable, which in a way they did, but still, I feel like the way they handled the ending of the investigation felt a bit weird and kind of anticlimactic… and that’s about everything strictly negative I can say, really, it’s just super hard to be grumpy about this.
A small, clearly full of passion project that clearly knows what it wants to aspire to be; a gift to the fans, of people that enjoy this cast of cahracters, and beyond that, just a really fun time. It’s not amazing, it’s not exceptional, it’s far from perfect (I remember back when it released my girlfriend encountered some bugs which… I don’t know how you manage to create bugs in a VN but hey, its certainly on the spirit of the franchise), but it sure is… nice, it’s extremely nice.
Maybe it’s because I revisited it after finishing Sigil II, but it’s hard to not look at this as another gift to its respective community, one that tries to have small surprises, but at its core being a piece of what many wanted, something to enjoy as a whole, and seeing so many people and groups of friends coming together to play this alongside each other and make voice-overs and the such is a wonderful proof of that.
And it’s hard to, being here, finally reviewing this, not to look back on this year, to the memories mad, the wonderful experienced had, and how in a way, this game was one of the things that made me jump into the Sonic series as much as I did this year, and even with its lows and highs, I’m beyond welcomed for it, I’m so happened to have experienced all of this, and I’m not only referring to the Sonic games. Times passes and with it, the year ends, but I know that many more wonderful memories will be made next year, and I cannot wait to make more that surround Sonic and its games, ‘cause even when I seem to be getting mad or disliking it… I can never erase the smile from my face.
… and hey, maybe this change of heart and end of year realization will spare me from court… right?
=================================================
With what I can only refer to as resounding evidence, I close the trial of Deemon v Literally Everyone Else In The Planet by declaring the accused guilty of all charges, his sentence is to be punished by not having roasted chicken in New Year’s Eve
-… FUCK.
=================================================
Happy New Year, everyone!
The accused is charged with multiple crimes, such as leaving and detonating random weapon-shaped explosives in the middle of public spaces, defamation of Mr. Jimmy ‘’Jimmy T’’ Thang in a court of law, and latest of all, being the main suspect behind the Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog™. How does the defendant plead?
-… I believe that it’s in my best interest to speak with my lawyers first…
=================================================
So… if you’ve read any of my Sonic related reviews, you may have noticed that I share a strange relation with the blue mammal, and by strange I mean that despite claiming I’m familiar with the character and the series, before this year I had beaten like… 2 of his games. And hey, it’s not my fault that I happen to suck balls at the speedy simulators… well maybe it is but I digress; my point is that yeah, only now I am finally really getting into the Sonic franchise as a whole an learning more of its philosophy and design decisions, but much, MUCH before that, I became a fan more-so because of its world and characters… I’m gonna point to Sonic X as the main culprit for that because I have no fucking clue how I learnt of these guys personalities otherwise.
Still, it’s not like I was ever a big fan, even in my youngest years I probably would have said I was more of a Mario guy just after finishing eating crayons, but that didn’t change the fact that I actually quite enjoyed the personalities of Sonic’s cast; I really loved the main trio of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles, Robotnik is to this day one of my favorite videogame villains thanks to its personality and the fact its still a sort of meme among me and my friends, and Vector was always the coolest fucking guy to ever walk a 2D or 3D space so of course he would become my favorite character in the franchise. These and all of the Mobius inhabitants have an unequivocal charm that’s easy to like, even when the games and stories they tackle pull off some weird ass shit, you are bound to find at least one of the characters pretty charismatic. I myself tend to prefer when Sonic its at its more cartoony, its more goofy and laid-back, cause even then it manages to make some interesting narratives and seeing these Looney Toon motherfuckers interact and evolve even with its incredibly define quirks and traits it’s a joy (and you thought I was pedantic already, watch me when I pull my full blown analysis on Sonic’s narrative and characterization…)
The series knew how to be charming with its protagonist and it captivated me through that, but it wasn’t enough to grab me completely and convince me to sit through the games till their ending, and a big reason that I didn’t fall off completely from the franchise is in big part thanks to my girlfriend, who is much bigger fan of Sonic than I, despite having a kind of love-hate relationship with the series. But aside from the likes of Mania and Generations, I still reluctant to getting more into the games, of finally seeing more of Sonic and their buddies aside from random cinematics on youtube and clips from SatAM, but in the back of my mind, I was always secretly waiting for a perhaps more narrative focused Sonic game, one that kept the simplicity and goofiness that I love, but was more about the characters and interactions, something that finally gave the chance for this fellas to shine once again, to captivate me once again…
It's honestly fucking hilarious that the way they did it was by killing the son of a bitch.
=================================================
Mr.Deemon, you seem to be doing a mockery out of this court room, I’m gonna ask you once again to speak the truth and nothing by the truth, stop avoiding the question and telling us, did you Murder Sonic the Hedgehog™?
-Well first of all that feels like too direct and personal of a question, but I’ll say that that this all very funny to put the blame on me considering that porcupine’s obsession with dying; like, have you see him falling to his death time and time again? Have you seen his obsession with drowning clearly visible in its first game? Have you seen his reluctance to make a normal-ass jump like a basic platformer mascot? Have you tried controlling him through a fucking touch screen? Have you tried getting the fucKING CHAOS EMERALDS WITHOUT LOSING YOUR SANIITY?! I DID, AND YEAH, I ADMIDT IT, I KILLED THE BLUE BASTARD, THE POINTY MOTHERFUCKER WAS PRACTICALLY ASKING FOR IT, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I’D DO IT AGAIN, ‘CAUSE I LIKE IT, I-
=================================================
Funny thing is, I already saw everything this game and to offer back when I watched my girlfriend play it, but decided to hold on writing a review for it until I tried it for myself… let’s just say it took a while for that to happen.
Still, even after my replay and trying for myself the little active gameplay it has to offer, that first experience of seeing it it’s what I think of first when ponding about it, and I mean, obviously it was a ton of more fun, but even beyond that, I think that playing it that way, with someone else by your side, was by far the best way anyone could experience The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog .
To be surprised just as it released on Steam to the surprise of all and the excitement of many (my girlfriend one of them), to jump together into whatever this was about to be, to be enamored by the amazing drawn art-style, to laugh and enjoy at the actually pretty funny jokes, to give voices to each of the characters and trying that they somewhat fit but then failing miserably (something I seem to be an expert of when it comes to voice-acting) and just… enjoying this wonderful, out of nowhere surprise.
Looking at the dates, it’s clear that they wanted this to be some kind of free April fools spoof, but it’s so much, much more than that. The passion and effort put into is clear as day, it’s nothing crazy of course, but it didn’t have to be that, hell, it didn’t even have to exist in the first place, but it does! And I’m so glad it’s thing if only for that wonderful random heist scene, for the snarky-ass dialogue that got a chuckle out of me several times, for sharing that fun moment with someone else that enjoys these characters as much as I and even more, to feel that warmth of a cozy, cartoony adventure… and most of all to see Vector once againLET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO VECTOR THE GOAT BABY BUY TEAM CHAOTIX LET’S GOOOOOOOOO-
Sure, some jokes do not land, the overall murder mystery ends in a super strange and kind of confusing way, it really seemed like they were preparing for the goofiest ending imaginable, which in a way they did, but still, I feel like the way they handled the ending of the investigation felt a bit weird and kind of anticlimactic… and that’s about everything strictly negative I can say, really, it’s just super hard to be grumpy about this.
A small, clearly full of passion project that clearly knows what it wants to aspire to be; a gift to the fans, of people that enjoy this cast of cahracters, and beyond that, just a really fun time. It’s not amazing, it’s not exceptional, it’s far from perfect (I remember back when it released my girlfriend encountered some bugs which… I don’t know how you manage to create bugs in a VN but hey, its certainly on the spirit of the franchise), but it sure is… nice, it’s extremely nice.
Maybe it’s because I revisited it after finishing Sigil II, but it’s hard to not look at this as another gift to its respective community, one that tries to have small surprises, but at its core being a piece of what many wanted, something to enjoy as a whole, and seeing so many people and groups of friends coming together to play this alongside each other and make voice-overs and the such is a wonderful proof of that.
And it’s hard to, being here, finally reviewing this, not to look back on this year, to the memories mad, the wonderful experienced had, and how in a way, this game was one of the things that made me jump into the Sonic series as much as I did this year, and even with its lows and highs, I’m beyond welcomed for it, I’m so happened to have experienced all of this, and I’m not only referring to the Sonic games. Times passes and with it, the year ends, but I know that many more wonderful memories will be made next year, and I cannot wait to make more that surround Sonic and its games, ‘cause even when I seem to be getting mad or disliking it… I can never erase the smile from my face.
… and hey, maybe this change of heart and end of year realization will spare me from court… right?
=================================================
With what I can only refer to as resounding evidence, I close the trial of Deemon v Literally Everyone Else In The Planet by declaring the accused guilty of all charges, his sentence is to be punished by not having roasted chicken in New Year’s Eve
-… FUCK.
=================================================
Happy New Year, everyone!
Brace yourselves everybody, we are not gaming anymore... We are Donkey Kong gaming
While generally I don't have specific videogame genres to which I gravitate towards, as I prefer to keep things interesting and spice things up with different types of games, if you put a gun to my head and asked which of them I've played the most, I would most likely say Platformers, 2D to be precise. I've played A TON of them, and even tho I wouldn't say that most of what I played was that memorable, some of the most incredible games I've played are 2D-Platformers: Rayman Legends, Celeste, Super Meat Boy, Kirby: Planet Robobot, Sonic Mania... the list goes on and on. But you may have noticed the omission of a certain character and series, the lack of a certain... monkey.
Tropical Freeze had something that caught my curiosity the first time I saw it. I really couldn't tell you what it was, at a base level it looks pretty similar to Returns, which I didn’t really love or found particularly interesting, but I don't know, there was something about this one that really made me want to at least try it.
And so here I am, ten hours later.
Yeah... let's just say, there's a little bit of gorilla in my favorite 2D-Platformers list now.
To say that Tropical Freeze is masterfully designed, has amazing music, feels vibrant and full of life and that it controls incredibly well would be the understatement of the fucking decade. This game goes above and beyond everything I thought was possible in a side-scroller, how the hell can something be so consistently fun, amazing and creative non-stop?
DK’s controls just right, it isn’t particularly fast or mobile, at least not on its own, but its weight adds a layer of complexity that makes these challenged incredibly rewarding. The heaviness of its movement feels just right when jumping from one platform to another, swimming or going from barrel cannon to barrel cannon, paired with the sound design (which is amazing across the entire experience) and we have a character that feels just right control, add Diddy, Dixie and Cranky to the mix and the opportunities for thinking outside of the box and experimenting augmented tenfold. I’ll say that Diddy feels kind of underwhelming here; in Returns was perfect, it was an upgrade to DK’s air and ground movement and it gave two more hearts, but with Dixie and Cranky doing the same things except feeling WAY better, giving DK either more height or a way to evade damage and being far more useful, Diddy just feel like a poor option, and when given the opportunity as either of the three, I almost never use him. But ok, the Kong feels pretty ‘’cool’’ (horrible pun VERY intended) to control, but I wouldn’t be praising I this much if it weren’t because the levels not only are a great vehicle to experience the movement, but they stand tall as a masterclass in level design, it sometimes feels like they are just showing off at some points
From the very first level, it’s made clear that they have pulled all the stops: each and every one of the levels feels completely different yet connected. The worlds share a global idea, from exploring an island inhabited by the enemies and going through its towns and windmills, exploring a submerge city with technology beyond our imagination, traversing a country-sized ice cream making complex, and all culminating in exploring a frozen-up version of the original DK island. There’s so much detail, even in the world-maps or the optional levels: the backgrounds are packed with little secrets, everything in the levels themselves makes total thematic sense and as a result they all feel so natural, the enemies are really distinct and animations for even when you make contact with them it looks like they are hitting you instead of just touching them and losing a heart as a result. Everything just clicks, all the pieces fall in place to form some of the most creative and fun platforming I have had the pleasure to play. Also, there are penguins. Penguins that shoot fish-arrows. IN FLAMES. AND THERE ARE PENGUINS WITH VIKING HELMETS. I don’t really know what else could even want, we've reached perfection and humanity probably will reach this high point ever again.
Oh and yeah the OST is probably one of the best I’ve ever heard in my life… ya know normal stuff. All the tracks are masterpieces of their own, not only do they fit the levels in which they are and they keep building on top of themselves as it progress, but whether is a brand new song or an arrangement, it’s simply beautiful, a delight to the ears, and even if you are not that keen or convinced in playing the game, give an opportunity to the soundtrack, please, it ranges from calming to incredibly exciting, specially the boss fight ones. Never I expected battling a circus Viking seal to metal in the background, but here we are.
Tropical Freeze feel like a culmination of what all platformers aspire to be: it’s beyond creative and its constantly jumping from one idea to the next, the control is tight as it can possibly be, it invites you to experiment and try to get every possible collectable, it’s challenging, but at the same time it gives you a ton of options to make things a bit or a lot easier, like the Funky mode or the items you can buy from the store; I didn’t use any of these and I still managed to finish the game with 58 lives to spare without buying any from the store, and I’m not what you could call a ‘’good player’’, so it’s not the most impossible thing in the world, but it really gets hard at times and the feeling of accomplishment after beating certain levels or bosses is pure dopamine.
I know his review has consisted of me just gushing about the game, but I couldn’t contain myself, it truly activated the part of my brain that likes to go ‘’hehe I love jumping and penguins’’. Despite its only one noticeable flaw, a minor one all things considered, it’s truly some of the best level design and thematic I ever played, and it doesn’t have a single one that I could call ‘’weak’’ or ‘’not that good’’. It’s a blast, from start to its end, and I almost feel sad that I didn’t play this sooner. Better late than never I guess, but I’m so happy I didn’t wait any longer.
Long live the Donkey Kong, that magnificent bastard
While generally I don't have specific videogame genres to which I gravitate towards, as I prefer to keep things interesting and spice things up with different types of games, if you put a gun to my head and asked which of them I've played the most, I would most likely say Platformers, 2D to be precise. I've played A TON of them, and even tho I wouldn't say that most of what I played was that memorable, some of the most incredible games I've played are 2D-Platformers: Rayman Legends, Celeste, Super Meat Boy, Kirby: Planet Robobot, Sonic Mania... the list goes on and on. But you may have noticed the omission of a certain character and series, the lack of a certain... monkey.
Tropical Freeze had something that caught my curiosity the first time I saw it. I really couldn't tell you what it was, at a base level it looks pretty similar to Returns, which I didn’t really love or found particularly interesting, but I don't know, there was something about this one that really made me want to at least try it.
And so here I am, ten hours later.
Yeah... let's just say, there's a little bit of gorilla in my favorite 2D-Platformers list now.
To say that Tropical Freeze is masterfully designed, has amazing music, feels vibrant and full of life and that it controls incredibly well would be the understatement of the fucking decade. This game goes above and beyond everything I thought was possible in a side-scroller, how the hell can something be so consistently fun, amazing and creative non-stop?
DK’s controls just right, it isn’t particularly fast or mobile, at least not on its own, but its weight adds a layer of complexity that makes these challenged incredibly rewarding. The heaviness of its movement feels just right when jumping from one platform to another, swimming or going from barrel cannon to barrel cannon, paired with the sound design (which is amazing across the entire experience) and we have a character that feels just right control, add Diddy, Dixie and Cranky to the mix and the opportunities for thinking outside of the box and experimenting augmented tenfold. I’ll say that Diddy feels kind of underwhelming here; in Returns was perfect, it was an upgrade to DK’s air and ground movement and it gave two more hearts, but with Dixie and Cranky doing the same things except feeling WAY better, giving DK either more height or a way to evade damage and being far more useful, Diddy just feel like a poor option, and when given the opportunity as either of the three, I almost never use him. But ok, the Kong feels pretty ‘’cool’’ (horrible pun VERY intended) to control, but I wouldn’t be praising I this much if it weren’t because the levels not only are a great vehicle to experience the movement, but they stand tall as a masterclass in level design, it sometimes feels like they are just showing off at some points
From the very first level, it’s made clear that they have pulled all the stops: each and every one of the levels feels completely different yet connected. The worlds share a global idea, from exploring an island inhabited by the enemies and going through its towns and windmills, exploring a submerge city with technology beyond our imagination, traversing a country-sized ice cream making complex, and all culminating in exploring a frozen-up version of the original DK island. There’s so much detail, even in the world-maps or the optional levels: the backgrounds are packed with little secrets, everything in the levels themselves makes total thematic sense and as a result they all feel so natural, the enemies are really distinct and animations for even when you make contact with them it looks like they are hitting you instead of just touching them and losing a heart as a result. Everything just clicks, all the pieces fall in place to form some of the most creative and fun platforming I have had the pleasure to play. Also, there are penguins. Penguins that shoot fish-arrows. IN FLAMES. AND THERE ARE PENGUINS WITH VIKING HELMETS. I don’t really know what else could even want, we've reached perfection and humanity probably will reach this high point ever again.
Oh and yeah the OST is probably one of the best I’ve ever heard in my life… ya know normal stuff. All the tracks are masterpieces of their own, not only do they fit the levels in which they are and they keep building on top of themselves as it progress, but whether is a brand new song or an arrangement, it’s simply beautiful, a delight to the ears, and even if you are not that keen or convinced in playing the game, give an opportunity to the soundtrack, please, it ranges from calming to incredibly exciting, specially the boss fight ones. Never I expected battling a circus Viking seal to metal in the background, but here we are.
Tropical Freeze feel like a culmination of what all platformers aspire to be: it’s beyond creative and its constantly jumping from one idea to the next, the control is tight as it can possibly be, it invites you to experiment and try to get every possible collectable, it’s challenging, but at the same time it gives you a ton of options to make things a bit or a lot easier, like the Funky mode or the items you can buy from the store; I didn’t use any of these and I still managed to finish the game with 58 lives to spare without buying any from the store, and I’m not what you could call a ‘’good player’’, so it’s not the most impossible thing in the world, but it really gets hard at times and the feeling of accomplishment after beating certain levels or bosses is pure dopamine.
I know his review has consisted of me just gushing about the game, but I couldn’t contain myself, it truly activated the part of my brain that likes to go ‘’hehe I love jumping and penguins’’. Despite its only one noticeable flaw, a minor one all things considered, it’s truly some of the best level design and thematic I ever played, and it doesn’t have a single one that I could call ‘’weak’’ or ‘’not that good’’. It’s a blast, from start to its end, and I almost feel sad that I didn’t play this sooner. Better late than never I guess, but I’m so happy I didn’t wait any longer.
Long live the Donkey Kong, that magnificent bastard
2010
The Greek tragedy of this game is that, even in the European version with its coveted extra letter, at least one of the Wisps' colors isn't represented in the title, as a the only member of the Wisps Protection and Petting Group, this is unacceptable and the game immediately gets a 0/10 on that alone... but oh well, might as well talk about the game itself.
You might be wondering why I would play Colors as my next Sonic game after Adventure, why instead of jumping into Adventure 2 or at the very least Unleashed, the game that started the so-called the ‘’Boost’’ formula, I skipped over all of them and went directly into the funny alien game, and the reason is quite simple really; I’ve talked about my hedgehog related experiences every time I’ve reviewed one of the game in the series, but one fact I negated to mention is that Colors was the first game I ever touched that had the cocky bastard in it (aside of Smash Bros Brawl, that is).
This blue motherfucker really has some special charm, because it captivated my small dumb kid brain when I saw it for the first time in a Sonic X episode (the best first impression I could have gotten to be honest ), and after that, I knew that I NEEDED to play one of his games, and lo and behold, turs out there’s a brand-new shiny game coming out a month before Christmas! The time was right, the stars had aligned and I just had to reach for them; I asked for the game as a present for the holiday and on 25th morning it was there, I opened the box, put the disc in my Wii, watched that beautiful cinematic that sparked my imagination and to this day I feel nostalgic about, at last I started playing and…AND… I sucked ass.
So, yeah, remember back in my Sonic 2 review when I said that I sucked at Sonic games? Well, that fact became pretty much apparent to me the very first time I even touched Colors, and alas, I never got past Sweet Mountain. And so, finally returning after so many years to it and finishing feels… weird, not because I’ve gotten better or anything like that, I’m still terrible and got many Game Overs because of my own stupidity, but because coming back, even if it brought back the memories of pure excitement from all those years ago and I actually got to fully appreciate aspects of the game I couldn’t consider until now, made me realize how deeply flawed Colors is from the very get goes, and how it’s a work with both incredible ideas as well as misguided ones.
But I do want to start things positively because the high points of Colors are indeed VERY high. The title doesn’t lie, it really does have some pretty colors, and even if I admit that while I playing I had the small thought of wishing there was some kind of HD version to play, the game moves around the Wii’s limitations incredibly well while not sacrificing any aspect of the visual spectacle. Eggman’s interplanetary theme park is probably the most creative and out-there idea that the series had until that point and it goes nuts with it, it feels like these worlds were either handcrafted by the mad doctor himself or deeply twisted by him, and the result is some incredibly varied worlds that manage to convey that idea of artificiality while still looking really good. Plantet Wisp and Asteroid Coaster are two fantastic examples for different reasons, and even if I wish the artificiality aspect backed off a little in the level design itself (we’ll get to that) I can’t deny in any way that Colors has an amazing setting that it uses to its fulles potential. And also… look, I think the only universally agreed thing about the series is that the music is consistently amazing, and that’s for a reason, but the music in Colors is just on another freacking level. No matter the act, no matter the world, each and every single song in the OST is an absolute banger, be it the fantastic main theme that is Reach for the Stars, the pure magic of Planet Wisp: Act 1, or every single of the boss fight themes specially both of the final boss themes. It also worth mentioning that the sound mixing and design is spectacular, it gives to every action a ton of feedback and when the music changes because of the boost or the Wisps not only it doesn’t feel jarring at all, but it adds a whole other layer to the experience, and speaking of which…
To my knowledge, the Wisps are a point of contention while talking about this game, and a lot of people actually really dislike them, citing that not only they gatekeep abilities that Sonic once had without needing then, but they also break the pace of the levels making you constantly stop just to use them, and here’s the thing, I do agree with both of those notions to a certain extent… but I still actually really like them! Even ignoring their fantastic and lovable designs, I really like what they add from a power-up perspective, each Wisp has its own way to interact with the level, and having one or not and using it correctly may be difference that decides if you get to see certain secrets or even beat bosses faster. I love that the White Wisp serves as an in-game universe explanation of the Boost mechanic, I love how the Cian Wisp can be used as an interesting fast travel tool, I love the sheer power and speed that both Nega Wisp and Yellow Wisp give and that grant the ability to reach places otherwise inaccessible… Even the Pink and Green Wisp, both who had abilities once normal to Sonic’s move-set, like the spin dash or the light dash, are still really fun to use because they open paths that use the abilities to their fullest potential and they have unique abilities of their own, like the spikes and the hovering. To be completely honest, the other one I didn’t like was… and it pains me to say this… the c u b e. I mean, LOOK AT THEM, I LOVE THEM, WHY DOES THEIR POWER HAVE TO SUCK SO BAD. However, even if I really like the Wisp and I am willing to sacrifice momentum in the levels for the sake of them giving more variety, I’ll be the fist to admit that I do not fully understand why they had to be unlockable and making red rings (the collectables in this game) unobtainable until you get them. It’s really odd to block the possibility of 100% completion until the final levels of the game, and makes it so a lot of the Acts have to played at least twice to get everything (not that they are very long either way, but still). I honestly don’t know what would have been better, if levels should have been designed with a normal progression like any other normal platformer, or if Wisps should have been permanent upgrades that you can use and change rather than be stationary power ups, tho I guess that last one would have broken a ton of levels and would have proven to be very difficult to implement considering the Wii Mote’s restrictions. But to be completely sincere, I wish that was the only problem that Colors had related to its levels and structure, because then this song and dance wouldn’t need to be as negative as is about to get.
They really tried to reach for the stars, only to get lost floating in space; six full-blown words with 6 unique acts and a boss each (plus the final zone and boss and some extra modes and goodies) becomes a much less impressive prospect when not only so much level design is almost completely recycled from past acts and when the quality of the levels themselves is so over the place. I have to ask if the team maybe wanted to implement some kind of remix levels, backed off, and ended up using what they had as normal levels to give the base game more content, because as it stands I couldn’t scratch off the feeling of Déjà Vu when playing a lot of these levels, like I’m merely repeating actions I just did on a past Act beat by beat, and honestly I don’t know why I’m complaining because that it’s at least better than the FUCKING SPRING LEVELS GAAAAAAAAAAH- sorry, I just had a bit of PTSD there. Look, there are a ton of fantastic Acts here, the first one in every world tends to be fantastic and then there are always some others that rival it in quality on the same world, and the 3D sections are consistently tolerable, but… will you cut it out with the 2D sections man?! It’s become a meme at this point that Colors is a 2D game as much as it is a 3D one, and honestly, I personally wouldn’t have had any problem with it, but it is in those sections where the pacing truly halts to a crawl, where the game wants to turn into a slower more precise platformer when this Sonic isn’t just designed for that; jumps feels floaty and trying to control this fucking mammal while he is on the air has brought a lot of pain to my poor feeble mind, in fact is these sections that make the Blue Wisp my least favorite, the idea of the power-up is fine, it’s just that every time I use it I have to put up with controls that make me want to break my own spine. The key word, I think, is ‘’limitation’’, there are a ton of limits of what you can and can’t do, levels ask you to beat them in a particular way, and that’s a problem when that particular way is so slow, unfun and infuriating. Even when I take into account all of the deaths that happened because I suck so bad, I just can’t think of a ton of levels that feel particularly amazingly designed or are that fun, and most of them (once again, specially on the 2D sections) sharing what I can only describe like a ‘’level-editor feeling’’ doesn’t help matters either. Some sections feel solely as obstacle courses, and when those obstacle courses don’t have many different paths and clash so hard with the 3D more natural parts, it becomes so jarring and made already unfun parts even more repetitive and dreadful to go through.
It's like that, despite having really good ideas in both concept and execution, the team really didn’t care for certain sections of aspects, like they tried stuff out because they wanted to without really considering if it would be fun overall, like if some of the stuff was a joke… like the stORY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Listen, listen, I adore of a more simplistic Sonic story with Saturday morning cartoon comedy and feeling, I really do, I think it can be a fantastic idea and can be a ton of fun… to bad here is goddam atrocious. I wanted to enjoy this story so hard, but when the cinematics are so weirdly paced and animated, when the dialogue makes me want to tape the characters mouths, when some of the jokes are so close at being funny but the timing just screws up everything, when others are just so painfully unfunny, and when everything is just filled with goofy a$$ sounds that undermined key story moments, I just have to ask… did they wanted me to care? Again, if they didn’t then fine, but there are actual stakes here, and the final boss and end are too grand for a story that just doesn’t deserve it, and unlike Toodee and Topdee where something similar happened, I can’t say that the poor story is a great parallel of the poor gameplay, because I really meant, Sonic Colors as flawed as it is, it’s far from terrible, hell it isn’t even bad, but it left me really, REALLY confused.
Here we have a game that tried to pull out all of the stops while seemingly being to coward to fully embrace itself, a game that feels grand but it has a ton of re-used material, a game that stives to experiment while leaving so much of its ideas not half baked, but just broken or without consideration if they would fit with the other pieces. Colors has fantastic moments and I had my fun with it, it stressed me to hell and back and I think the word part about it is that I simply can’t left it with a nice conclusion that ties it all up. Is not as much of a mess as other games, but it is a mess in its own special way, and while I perhaps dislike it more than others would and do, the positives do look so bright and feel so right…
Also, I’m accepting signs and newcomers for the Wisps Protection and Petting Group, you can send you applications to [REDACTED] and you’ll be in petting Wisp duty in no time!... except petting the blue one. I’m only allowed to pet those. No, I will not be accepting protests.
You might be wondering why I would play Colors as my next Sonic game after Adventure, why instead of jumping into Adventure 2 or at the very least Unleashed, the game that started the so-called the ‘’Boost’’ formula, I skipped over all of them and went directly into the funny alien game, and the reason is quite simple really; I’ve talked about my hedgehog related experiences every time I’ve reviewed one of the game in the series, but one fact I negated to mention is that Colors was the first game I ever touched that had the cocky bastard in it (aside of Smash Bros Brawl, that is).
This blue motherfucker really has some special charm, because it captivated my small dumb kid brain when I saw it for the first time in a Sonic X episode (the best first impression I could have gotten to be honest ), and after that, I knew that I NEEDED to play one of his games, and lo and behold, turs out there’s a brand-new shiny game coming out a month before Christmas! The time was right, the stars had aligned and I just had to reach for them; I asked for the game as a present for the holiday and on 25th morning it was there, I opened the box, put the disc in my Wii, watched that beautiful cinematic that sparked my imagination and to this day I feel nostalgic about, at last I started playing and…AND… I sucked ass.
So, yeah, remember back in my Sonic 2 review when I said that I sucked at Sonic games? Well, that fact became pretty much apparent to me the very first time I even touched Colors, and alas, I never got past Sweet Mountain. And so, finally returning after so many years to it and finishing feels… weird, not because I’ve gotten better or anything like that, I’m still terrible and got many Game Overs because of my own stupidity, but because coming back, even if it brought back the memories of pure excitement from all those years ago and I actually got to fully appreciate aspects of the game I couldn’t consider until now, made me realize how deeply flawed Colors is from the very get goes, and how it’s a work with both incredible ideas as well as misguided ones.
But I do want to start things positively because the high points of Colors are indeed VERY high. The title doesn’t lie, it really does have some pretty colors, and even if I admit that while I playing I had the small thought of wishing there was some kind of HD version to play, the game moves around the Wii’s limitations incredibly well while not sacrificing any aspect of the visual spectacle. Eggman’s interplanetary theme park is probably the most creative and out-there idea that the series had until that point and it goes nuts with it, it feels like these worlds were either handcrafted by the mad doctor himself or deeply twisted by him, and the result is some incredibly varied worlds that manage to convey that idea of artificiality while still looking really good. Plantet Wisp and Asteroid Coaster are two fantastic examples for different reasons, and even if I wish the artificiality aspect backed off a little in the level design itself (we’ll get to that) I can’t deny in any way that Colors has an amazing setting that it uses to its fulles potential. And also… look, I think the only universally agreed thing about the series is that the music is consistently amazing, and that’s for a reason, but the music in Colors is just on another freacking level. No matter the act, no matter the world, each and every single song in the OST is an absolute banger, be it the fantastic main theme that is Reach for the Stars, the pure magic of Planet Wisp: Act 1, or every single of the boss fight themes specially both of the final boss themes. It also worth mentioning that the sound mixing and design is spectacular, it gives to every action a ton of feedback and when the music changes because of the boost or the Wisps not only it doesn’t feel jarring at all, but it adds a whole other layer to the experience, and speaking of which…
To my knowledge, the Wisps are a point of contention while talking about this game, and a lot of people actually really dislike them, citing that not only they gatekeep abilities that Sonic once had without needing then, but they also break the pace of the levels making you constantly stop just to use them, and here’s the thing, I do agree with both of those notions to a certain extent… but I still actually really like them! Even ignoring their fantastic and lovable designs, I really like what they add from a power-up perspective, each Wisp has its own way to interact with the level, and having one or not and using it correctly may be difference that decides if you get to see certain secrets or even beat bosses faster. I love that the White Wisp serves as an in-game universe explanation of the Boost mechanic, I love how the Cian Wisp can be used as an interesting fast travel tool, I love the sheer power and speed that both Nega Wisp and Yellow Wisp give and that grant the ability to reach places otherwise inaccessible… Even the Pink and Green Wisp, both who had abilities once normal to Sonic’s move-set, like the spin dash or the light dash, are still really fun to use because they open paths that use the abilities to their fullest potential and they have unique abilities of their own, like the spikes and the hovering. To be completely honest, the other one I didn’t like was… and it pains me to say this… the c u b e. I mean, LOOK AT THEM, I LOVE THEM, WHY DOES THEIR POWER HAVE TO SUCK SO BAD. However, even if I really like the Wisp and I am willing to sacrifice momentum in the levels for the sake of them giving more variety, I’ll be the fist to admit that I do not fully understand why they had to be unlockable and making red rings (the collectables in this game) unobtainable until you get them. It’s really odd to block the possibility of 100% completion until the final levels of the game, and makes it so a lot of the Acts have to played at least twice to get everything (not that they are very long either way, but still). I honestly don’t know what would have been better, if levels should have been designed with a normal progression like any other normal platformer, or if Wisps should have been permanent upgrades that you can use and change rather than be stationary power ups, tho I guess that last one would have broken a ton of levels and would have proven to be very difficult to implement considering the Wii Mote’s restrictions. But to be completely sincere, I wish that was the only problem that Colors had related to its levels and structure, because then this song and dance wouldn’t need to be as negative as is about to get.
They really tried to reach for the stars, only to get lost floating in space; six full-blown words with 6 unique acts and a boss each (plus the final zone and boss and some extra modes and goodies) becomes a much less impressive prospect when not only so much level design is almost completely recycled from past acts and when the quality of the levels themselves is so over the place. I have to ask if the team maybe wanted to implement some kind of remix levels, backed off, and ended up using what they had as normal levels to give the base game more content, because as it stands I couldn’t scratch off the feeling of Déjà Vu when playing a lot of these levels, like I’m merely repeating actions I just did on a past Act beat by beat, and honestly I don’t know why I’m complaining because that it’s at least better than the FUCKING SPRING LEVELS GAAAAAAAAAAH- sorry, I just had a bit of PTSD there. Look, there are a ton of fantastic Acts here, the first one in every world tends to be fantastic and then there are always some others that rival it in quality on the same world, and the 3D sections are consistently tolerable, but… will you cut it out with the 2D sections man?! It’s become a meme at this point that Colors is a 2D game as much as it is a 3D one, and honestly, I personally wouldn’t have had any problem with it, but it is in those sections where the pacing truly halts to a crawl, where the game wants to turn into a slower more precise platformer when this Sonic isn’t just designed for that; jumps feels floaty and trying to control this fucking mammal while he is on the air has brought a lot of pain to my poor feeble mind, in fact is these sections that make the Blue Wisp my least favorite, the idea of the power-up is fine, it’s just that every time I use it I have to put up with controls that make me want to break my own spine. The key word, I think, is ‘’limitation’’, there are a ton of limits of what you can and can’t do, levels ask you to beat them in a particular way, and that’s a problem when that particular way is so slow, unfun and infuriating. Even when I take into account all of the deaths that happened because I suck so bad, I just can’t think of a ton of levels that feel particularly amazingly designed or are that fun, and most of them (once again, specially on the 2D sections) sharing what I can only describe like a ‘’level-editor feeling’’ doesn’t help matters either. Some sections feel solely as obstacle courses, and when those obstacle courses don’t have many different paths and clash so hard with the 3D more natural parts, it becomes so jarring and made already unfun parts even more repetitive and dreadful to go through.
It's like that, despite having really good ideas in both concept and execution, the team really didn’t care for certain sections of aspects, like they tried stuff out because they wanted to without really considering if it would be fun overall, like if some of the stuff was a joke… like the stORY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Listen, listen, I adore of a more simplistic Sonic story with Saturday morning cartoon comedy and feeling, I really do, I think it can be a fantastic idea and can be a ton of fun… to bad here is goddam atrocious. I wanted to enjoy this story so hard, but when the cinematics are so weirdly paced and animated, when the dialogue makes me want to tape the characters mouths, when some of the jokes are so close at being funny but the timing just screws up everything, when others are just so painfully unfunny, and when everything is just filled with goofy a$$ sounds that undermined key story moments, I just have to ask… did they wanted me to care? Again, if they didn’t then fine, but there are actual stakes here, and the final boss and end are too grand for a story that just doesn’t deserve it, and unlike Toodee and Topdee where something similar happened, I can’t say that the poor story is a great parallel of the poor gameplay, because I really meant, Sonic Colors as flawed as it is, it’s far from terrible, hell it isn’t even bad, but it left me really, REALLY confused.
Here we have a game that tried to pull out all of the stops while seemingly being to coward to fully embrace itself, a game that feels grand but it has a ton of re-used material, a game that stives to experiment while leaving so much of its ideas not half baked, but just broken or without consideration if they would fit with the other pieces. Colors has fantastic moments and I had my fun with it, it stressed me to hell and back and I think the word part about it is that I simply can’t left it with a nice conclusion that ties it all up. Is not as much of a mess as other games, but it is a mess in its own special way, and while I perhaps dislike it more than others would and do, the positives do look so bright and feel so right…
Also, I’m accepting signs and newcomers for the Wisps Protection and Petting Group, you can send you applications to [REDACTED] and you’ll be in petting Wisp duty in no time!... except petting the blue one. I’m only allowed to pet those. No, I will not be accepting protests.
2014
So... cool funny fact! Including the ones from the extra levels, there are 100 different sun-stone collectables across all the stages, and you can in fact get all of them on your first go through each stage and before reaching the final fight, which it's exactly what I did. And after collecting the last one, it turns out the reward a keychain… of the final boss. I did know who the final enemy was before playing the game, but like… it never makes an appearance before the very last level, so those who decided to get everything before finishing the game, their reward was a spoiler, which I don’t know if I find it awful or fucking hilarious.
Taking into account hoy much I adore this pink ball of destruction and entropy, it’s surprising how I haven’t actually beaten a large number of his catalogue, and it’s doubly surprising how, despite loving Plantet Robobot and Return to Dreamland as much as I do, I didn’t even try any of the other two modern Kirby 2D platformers. Looking back, it was clearly a mistake, since many of the things that Triple Deluxe does would have impacted me way more if I played it before the absolute juggernaut that is Robobot and maybe I would be less severe with it in certain aspects, but at the same time, as good as this game can sometimes be, Triple Deluxe doesn’t nail things in the same way its predecessor did, so its problems can’t be summarized by simply saying ‘’is just a worse Planet Robobot’’, ‘cause just that eclipsis both its negative and positive aspects as well.
Triple Deluxe was very much designed for the system is on, and I don’t say that just because of its admittedly cheeky name; while the gyroscope controlled sections and the change and interactions between the background and foreground could be pulled off in any other console, it’s clear that this implementations where made with ‘’let’s showcase what this bad boy of a handheld can do’’ mindset, and yet, for things that could have ended up as mere distracting gimmicks, I don’t know man, I actually really enjoyed how these expand upon the original gameplay. The game does extremely neat things with this basis; all of the mirror sections are honestly fantastically designed and by far the best parts of the game (tho I wished there were more), the gyroscope on old stage hazards like the cannons put a really interesting spin on things and open up a ton of possibilities for puzzles and secrets, and the mere act of jumping between perspectives is always satisfying and never confusing. Plus, this might be the first game in the entirety od 3DS catalogue where I actually needed to put the 3D on, which depending on who you are may be a positive or a negative, and I’m someone that thinks the former; it’s implemented in an awesome way in boss fights and truly shows how 3D can enhance the moment to moment action, even if is just really solving a problem that itself created, it’s super satisfying to feel like there’s actual depth and dodging attacks that actually feel like they come out of the screen. Kinda funny it’s Kirby of all series that pulls this off the best, but oh well. It also holds up pretty well visually; I still defend that its successor it’s one of the best looking games in the entirety of the console’s library, but Triple Deluxe, even almost 10 years later (Jesus fucking H. Christ I’m withering alive…) has managed to stand tall as a visual spectacle; the colors, intertwined with the nature aesthetic that keeps changing across the entire game and the fantastic animations in the mini and normal bosses, make a 240p game look outright gorgeous. Oh, and before I forget, people always tend to praise Kirby’s OST, however, I’ve never seen many kind words towards TD’s soundtrack, which after playing the game kinda surprises me considering IT FUCKING SLAPS, sadly it does re-use a ton of Return to Dreamland’s songs, and I say sadly because every single level and boss theme is like silk. You’ve heard Masked Dedede theme. I don’t have to tell you how hard it goes, everyone knows it, and for good reason.
The game feels like it’s PROUD to be a part of the system its on, trying to be a kind of technical demo on steroids, and truly uses everything new it can to it fulles potential, and yeah, if Triple Deluxe is something, is sure is a fantastic showing of what the 3DS can do for 2D platformers. But that’s the thing, sometimes it feels like that’s everything it is: a game to go ‘’Wow, cool!’’ from time to time, and it seemingly forgot to try to craft the same sound and fun core that made up the games that came before and after it. Don’t get me wrong, as I said, Triple Deluxe it’s good, it’s fun, and it’s very much competent, it has a ton of interesting puzzles, the boss fights are varied and fun even if they are on the slower side this time around, and most of the new power-ups are great additions to the roster, specially Beetle and Circus (or as I call it and always will be in my heart, CLOWN), and all of that is nice yeah but… it’s what I expected from a Kirby sequel. Nothing really blew me away, it was consistently fun yeah, but not as fun, not as impressive. There’s a ton more stuff going on in the levels than ever before, but it doesn’t feel like it, even if it’s adorable to see Waddle Dee’s chopping trees in the background, the levels themselves are very ‘’by the numbers’’, and I don’t mean that it’s too simple, that’s how Kirby games are and I love them for it, but this is not that, it's not that it’s simple in its design, it’s that it’s simplistic on its layout; they follow the same beats and the same conventions that Return did while not being as fun or thrilling as that game was, and that makes Triple Deluxe feel like an overall lesser game. Hell, you could say it’s simplistic even on its story, Kirby was never strong on the moment to moment narrative, yeah, but here is basically nonexistent until the very end! And the Hypernova… oh how good could it have been… look, I’m not gonna act like the Super Abilities from Return were the best thing ever, ‘cause they weren’t, they were a small power fantasy that made one thing and one thing only, but at least: 1. They ended with unlocking a secret more challenging part of the level, 2. Their sections where still pretty interestingly designed and felt fun and organic, and 3. They were indeed optional. Hypernova throws ALL this out the window, sure, the sections when you have to use it can be fun and have great animations, specially the mini-bosses, but what ruins the re-playability it’s how you ALWAYS have to be Hypernova when you reach a certain moment of the game, the levels from that point onward are designed around the Hypernova, and they just result in the end of the level itself. As such, Hypernova doesn’t feel as much of a power-up as it is just a game saying ‘’NO! We gotta do the cool thing I want to do NOW!’’ and maybe that’s what they wanted to do, making cool sections to add variety in, but it just doesn’t translate into the levels that well, and I’m ever so glad that for the nex game, they designed the Robobot around what this type of mechanics should be, an expansion of you arsenal and a great utility instead of some glorified cutscenes and simplistic levels.
Maybe is wrong of me to be this harsh at Triple Deluxe, on their first go on this new system they laid down a ton of the basis that made what would end up coming after so incredible, and the game does manage to accomplish what it initially wanted to do, but that just doesn’t justify its shortcomings. I’ve seen this series do better, and this series would go on to even better, and so Triple Deluxe exists in this weird limbo, sandwiched between two games better than it, while still managing to be a pretty damn good snack on its own. It is fun, it is inventive, but it’s not exceptional…
… but that doesn’t matter ‘cuase the main objective of rescuing this game is rescuing DEDEDE, AND YOU CAN PLAY AS HIM IN A SIDE MODE, AND THERE’S AN ENTIRE MINIGAME DEDICATED TO HIM, WE ARE SO BACK, THIS GAME KNOWS THAT DEDEDE IS THE BEST AND I LOVE IT, I KNEEL, MY TRUE HERO OF DREAMLAND, 10 OUT OF 10, MASTERPIECE!
Taking into account hoy much I adore this pink ball of destruction and entropy, it’s surprising how I haven’t actually beaten a large number of his catalogue, and it’s doubly surprising how, despite loving Plantet Robobot and Return to Dreamland as much as I do, I didn’t even try any of the other two modern Kirby 2D platformers. Looking back, it was clearly a mistake, since many of the things that Triple Deluxe does would have impacted me way more if I played it before the absolute juggernaut that is Robobot and maybe I would be less severe with it in certain aspects, but at the same time, as good as this game can sometimes be, Triple Deluxe doesn’t nail things in the same way its predecessor did, so its problems can’t be summarized by simply saying ‘’is just a worse Planet Robobot’’, ‘cause just that eclipsis both its negative and positive aspects as well.
Triple Deluxe was very much designed for the system is on, and I don’t say that just because of its admittedly cheeky name; while the gyroscope controlled sections and the change and interactions between the background and foreground could be pulled off in any other console, it’s clear that this implementations where made with ‘’let’s showcase what this bad boy of a handheld can do’’ mindset, and yet, for things that could have ended up as mere distracting gimmicks, I don’t know man, I actually really enjoyed how these expand upon the original gameplay. The game does extremely neat things with this basis; all of the mirror sections are honestly fantastically designed and by far the best parts of the game (tho I wished there were more), the gyroscope on old stage hazards like the cannons put a really interesting spin on things and open up a ton of possibilities for puzzles and secrets, and the mere act of jumping between perspectives is always satisfying and never confusing. Plus, this might be the first game in the entirety od 3DS catalogue where I actually needed to put the 3D on, which depending on who you are may be a positive or a negative, and I’m someone that thinks the former; it’s implemented in an awesome way in boss fights and truly shows how 3D can enhance the moment to moment action, even if is just really solving a problem that itself created, it’s super satisfying to feel like there’s actual depth and dodging attacks that actually feel like they come out of the screen. Kinda funny it’s Kirby of all series that pulls this off the best, but oh well. It also holds up pretty well visually; I still defend that its successor it’s one of the best looking games in the entirety of the console’s library, but Triple Deluxe, even almost 10 years later (Jesus fucking H. Christ I’m withering alive…) has managed to stand tall as a visual spectacle; the colors, intertwined with the nature aesthetic that keeps changing across the entire game and the fantastic animations in the mini and normal bosses, make a 240p game look outright gorgeous. Oh, and before I forget, people always tend to praise Kirby’s OST, however, I’ve never seen many kind words towards TD’s soundtrack, which after playing the game kinda surprises me considering IT FUCKING SLAPS, sadly it does re-use a ton of Return to Dreamland’s songs, and I say sadly because every single level and boss theme is like silk. You’ve heard Masked Dedede theme. I don’t have to tell you how hard it goes, everyone knows it, and for good reason.
The game feels like it’s PROUD to be a part of the system its on, trying to be a kind of technical demo on steroids, and truly uses everything new it can to it fulles potential, and yeah, if Triple Deluxe is something, is sure is a fantastic showing of what the 3DS can do for 2D platformers. But that’s the thing, sometimes it feels like that’s everything it is: a game to go ‘’Wow, cool!’’ from time to time, and it seemingly forgot to try to craft the same sound and fun core that made up the games that came before and after it. Don’t get me wrong, as I said, Triple Deluxe it’s good, it’s fun, and it’s very much competent, it has a ton of interesting puzzles, the boss fights are varied and fun even if they are on the slower side this time around, and most of the new power-ups are great additions to the roster, specially Beetle and Circus (or as I call it and always will be in my heart, CLOWN), and all of that is nice yeah but… it’s what I expected from a Kirby sequel. Nothing really blew me away, it was consistently fun yeah, but not as fun, not as impressive. There’s a ton more stuff going on in the levels than ever before, but it doesn’t feel like it, even if it’s adorable to see Waddle Dee’s chopping trees in the background, the levels themselves are very ‘’by the numbers’’, and I don’t mean that it’s too simple, that’s how Kirby games are and I love them for it, but this is not that, it's not that it’s simple in its design, it’s that it’s simplistic on its layout; they follow the same beats and the same conventions that Return did while not being as fun or thrilling as that game was, and that makes Triple Deluxe feel like an overall lesser game. Hell, you could say it’s simplistic even on its story, Kirby was never strong on the moment to moment narrative, yeah, but here is basically nonexistent until the very end! And the Hypernova… oh how good could it have been… look, I’m not gonna act like the Super Abilities from Return were the best thing ever, ‘cause they weren’t, they were a small power fantasy that made one thing and one thing only, but at least: 1. They ended with unlocking a secret more challenging part of the level, 2. Their sections where still pretty interestingly designed and felt fun and organic, and 3. They were indeed optional. Hypernova throws ALL this out the window, sure, the sections when you have to use it can be fun and have great animations, specially the mini-bosses, but what ruins the re-playability it’s how you ALWAYS have to be Hypernova when you reach a certain moment of the game, the levels from that point onward are designed around the Hypernova, and they just result in the end of the level itself. As such, Hypernova doesn’t feel as much of a power-up as it is just a game saying ‘’NO! We gotta do the cool thing I want to do NOW!’’ and maybe that’s what they wanted to do, making cool sections to add variety in, but it just doesn’t translate into the levels that well, and I’m ever so glad that for the nex game, they designed the Robobot around what this type of mechanics should be, an expansion of you arsenal and a great utility instead of some glorified cutscenes and simplistic levels.
Maybe is wrong of me to be this harsh at Triple Deluxe, on their first go on this new system they laid down a ton of the basis that made what would end up coming after so incredible, and the game does manage to accomplish what it initially wanted to do, but that just doesn’t justify its shortcomings. I’ve seen this series do better, and this series would go on to even better, and so Triple Deluxe exists in this weird limbo, sandwiched between two games better than it, while still managing to be a pretty damn good snack on its own. It is fun, it is inventive, but it’s not exceptional…
… but that doesn’t matter ‘cuase the main objective of rescuing this game is rescuing DEDEDE, AND YOU CAN PLAY AS HIM IN A SIDE MODE, AND THERE’S AN ENTIRE MINIGAME DEDICATED TO HIM, WE ARE SO BACK, THIS GAME KNOWS THAT DEDEDE IS THE BEST AND I LOVE IT, I KNEEL, MY TRUE HERO OF DREAMLAND, 10 OUT OF 10, MASTERPIECE!
2016
Imagine just playing the game and then out of nowhere in one of the last areas thE ANOMALOCARIS SHOWS UP WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THAT'S WHAT'S ALL ABOUT BABY FUCKING ANOMALOCARIS WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
.......cough.... sorry about that....
Even tho I have yet to play it, it isn't lost on me that after Journey's release, a lot of games followed its steps and tried to be a similar, contemplative experience, with mixed results in some cases, to say the least. Abzu is clearly no exception, this time putting is focus on a underwater setting, and if it one of the objectives was showing off its prettiness, by golly does it deliver it in spades.
Abzu's oceanic landscapes are nothing short of beautiful, magical, even. Swimming across these color filled areas, surrounded by a seemingly never-ending fauna, discovering the small secret zones and letting yourself be guided by these creatures that sometimes it's hard to believe they are real it's by far the best part of the experience, to just immerse (I swear I'm not doing this on purpose) in this little watery world, chill and relax as it sinks in, in that regard, in showing you pretty stuff and amazing set pieces, that is when Abzu shines.
But that's all it is, ''pretty'', and I can't shake off the feeling that its own contemplative nature gets in its own way. This a world overflowing with life, and yet, your interactions with it are the so few its comical. I have made it clear plenty of times that I don't have any problems when a game has only a handful of mechanics, hell, one of my favorite games is a ''walking simulator'', but in Abzu's case, being only able to swim , press a button on certain spots and meditate on some statues it’s just not enough, not considering what the game is showing me. I'm supposed to be saving this sea, and yet I just feel like I'm following a line, repeating the same actions in the same order until a secluded area becomes pretty to look at again, and it isn't until the final zones where I start to notice that the sea is in any real danger. Up until that point I was... doing what the game wanted me to do, the areas were still pretty, yes, but it just feels like I’m watching an aquarium, not really being in the same space as everything else. I was still being amazed by some things, like swimming alongside gigantic whales or rediscovering prehistoric life, but I just felt like a spectator, and that shouldn't be a bad thing, but the story seems to imply otherwise.
The game introduces a ton of elements, like ancient temples and a futuristic civilization that is destroying this world, and these are cool ideas in paper, but not they only really achieve their full potential or even appear just before the game ends. I get and really respect what they were going for, but it's poorly communicated, it clashes extremely hard with what it's shown to us and as such, it fails to give any sense of urgency, and makes its environmental message hit much less that it otherwise could have.
The ending is a cool final set piece, yes, and the music is fantastic, that too, but it just seems like the game tied its own hands in a lot of regards. It's still beautiful only because the sea itself is beautiful , and we should care for that beauty, one that slowly disappearing because of human action, and the game wants to join that conversation, but it doesn't seem to have the courage to really do it and be its own thing, and that's perhaps the worst about, that it seems content to be pretty and have cool set pieces, it doesn't aspire to be something greater.
Then again.... there are Anomalocaris, so it has its ups too.
.......cough.... sorry about that....
Even tho I have yet to play it, it isn't lost on me that after Journey's release, a lot of games followed its steps and tried to be a similar, contemplative experience, with mixed results in some cases, to say the least. Abzu is clearly no exception, this time putting is focus on a underwater setting, and if it one of the objectives was showing off its prettiness, by golly does it deliver it in spades.
Abzu's oceanic landscapes are nothing short of beautiful, magical, even. Swimming across these color filled areas, surrounded by a seemingly never-ending fauna, discovering the small secret zones and letting yourself be guided by these creatures that sometimes it's hard to believe they are real it's by far the best part of the experience, to just immerse (I swear I'm not doing this on purpose) in this little watery world, chill and relax as it sinks in, in that regard, in showing you pretty stuff and amazing set pieces, that is when Abzu shines.
But that's all it is, ''pretty'', and I can't shake off the feeling that its own contemplative nature gets in its own way. This a world overflowing with life, and yet, your interactions with it are the so few its comical. I have made it clear plenty of times that I don't have any problems when a game has only a handful of mechanics, hell, one of my favorite games is a ''walking simulator'', but in Abzu's case, being only able to swim , press a button on certain spots and meditate on some statues it’s just not enough, not considering what the game is showing me. I'm supposed to be saving this sea, and yet I just feel like I'm following a line, repeating the same actions in the same order until a secluded area becomes pretty to look at again, and it isn't until the final zones where I start to notice that the sea is in any real danger. Up until that point I was... doing what the game wanted me to do, the areas were still pretty, yes, but it just feels like I’m watching an aquarium, not really being in the same space as everything else. I was still being amazed by some things, like swimming alongside gigantic whales or rediscovering prehistoric life, but I just felt like a spectator, and that shouldn't be a bad thing, but the story seems to imply otherwise.
The game introduces a ton of elements, like ancient temples and a futuristic civilization that is destroying this world, and these are cool ideas in paper, but not they only really achieve their full potential or even appear just before the game ends. I get and really respect what they were going for, but it's poorly communicated, it clashes extremely hard with what it's shown to us and as such, it fails to give any sense of urgency, and makes its environmental message hit much less that it otherwise could have.
The ending is a cool final set piece, yes, and the music is fantastic, that too, but it just seems like the game tied its own hands in a lot of regards. It's still beautiful only because the sea itself is beautiful , and we should care for that beauty, one that slowly disappearing because of human action, and the game wants to join that conversation, but it doesn't seem to have the courage to really do it and be its own thing, and that's perhaps the worst about, that it seems content to be pretty and have cool set pieces, it doesn't aspire to be something greater.
Then again.... there are Anomalocaris, so it has its ups too.
2023
I played this with a friend watching me and the moment the chairs started fliying and spinning across the room we lost our fucking minds; that, plus the vine booms and Jumbo Josh, fucking sent us.
I’m not gonna dedicate more time to this review than the developers took on making the game: Garten of Banban only holds value in the fever dream-like experience it produces while playing, and it's absolutely shocking how this game fails in almost every department, be it visually, level design-wise or the general concept.
At first, back when I heard of it, I just thought it was a normal bad game that had the misfortune of turning into the poster child of everything that's wrong with modern broader horror, but after seeing more of it and know playing it, I now know better, oh do I understand now.
This is like if someone with zero artistic qualities tried to do a macaroni art version of the Mona Lisa, except that in this case the Mona Lisa isn't even that good. Uninspired, visually overly simplistic and ugly, puzzle logic that seems to be designed by some kind of rat man that has lived in the sewers for 20 years that purely consists on going around on cycles finding stuff and telling a drone to bump into buttons and finding electric pads under FUCKING DESKS, non-existent horror elements, aspirations of being a cash-grab by following a episodic format and having a god-forsaken merch-store, horrible setting that doesn't make any kind of sense at a logical level (the games it follows beat by beat even manage to make their settings at least believable), putrid art-style, poorly designed, vile, unappetizing, disgusting excuse for a videogame it has ever been my displeasure to have entered within the range of my visual field!... and yet, I... I fucking adore it.
This game activates all of the dumbest neurons in my brain, reaching high levels of awfulness while not being absolutely infuriating or boring. It’s a like seeing a clown car crash, it’s horrible and you can’t stop looking at it, but it’s funny in a very twisted way. It all is just bonkers enough to be endearing, with character designs that are stupid as they are the best things in the universe; Jumbo Josh is an absolute unit and a king and I shall not take any negatives for an answer. And the best part of all of this is that I’m not alone, my friend was also losing his shit at this game, as so did what it seemed like the entire internet, and is a fascinating case almost deserving of study how this preposterous product such at thus could have this effect, but it’s precisely that twisted fun what gives it’s only thing of value.
It’s Garten of Banban the worst thing ever? No, as much as I have trashed on it, it’s at least functional, it at least has a semblance of design, it at least it has kinda neat ideas in theory, at least it’s funny… which may be the bare minimum to ask but hey, at least it does something. I know that it’s its short duration what prevents it from being and absolute shitshow, and I don’t have any kind of doubts that the other chapters wouldn’t be deserving of an extra half-star, but hey, at least I can say of this one that there was an attempt kinda not really.
It's bad, it’s borderline atrocious, but it’s kinda amazing how a game can give me so much joy in a way it didn’t intend at all. This is the definition of a guilty pleasure, except it’s not really a pleasure… ‘’guilty novelty’’, yeah, I think that’s the better way to put it.
This is, indeed, the BOTY.
I’m not gonna dedicate more time to this review than the developers took on making the game: Garten of Banban only holds value in the fever dream-like experience it produces while playing, and it's absolutely shocking how this game fails in almost every department, be it visually, level design-wise or the general concept.
At first, back when I heard of it, I just thought it was a normal bad game that had the misfortune of turning into the poster child of everything that's wrong with modern broader horror, but after seeing more of it and know playing it, I now know better, oh do I understand now.
This is like if someone with zero artistic qualities tried to do a macaroni art version of the Mona Lisa, except that in this case the Mona Lisa isn't even that good. Uninspired, visually overly simplistic and ugly, puzzle logic that seems to be designed by some kind of rat man that has lived in the sewers for 20 years that purely consists on going around on cycles finding stuff and telling a drone to bump into buttons and finding electric pads under FUCKING DESKS, non-existent horror elements, aspirations of being a cash-grab by following a episodic format and having a god-forsaken merch-store, horrible setting that doesn't make any kind of sense at a logical level (the games it follows beat by beat even manage to make their settings at least believable), putrid art-style, poorly designed, vile, unappetizing, disgusting excuse for a videogame it has ever been my displeasure to have entered within the range of my visual field!... and yet, I... I fucking adore it.
This game activates all of the dumbest neurons in my brain, reaching high levels of awfulness while not being absolutely infuriating or boring. It’s a like seeing a clown car crash, it’s horrible and you can’t stop looking at it, but it’s funny in a very twisted way. It all is just bonkers enough to be endearing, with character designs that are stupid as they are the best things in the universe; Jumbo Josh is an absolute unit and a king and I shall not take any negatives for an answer. And the best part of all of this is that I’m not alone, my friend was also losing his shit at this game, as so did what it seemed like the entire internet, and is a fascinating case almost deserving of study how this preposterous product such at thus could have this effect, but it’s precisely that twisted fun what gives it’s only thing of value.
It’s Garten of Banban the worst thing ever? No, as much as I have trashed on it, it’s at least functional, it at least has a semblance of design, it at least it has kinda neat ideas in theory, at least it’s funny… which may be the bare minimum to ask but hey, at least it does something. I know that it’s its short duration what prevents it from being and absolute shitshow, and I don’t have any kind of doubts that the other chapters wouldn’t be deserving of an extra half-star, but hey, at least I can say of this one that there was an attempt kinda not really.
It's bad, it’s borderline atrocious, but it’s kinda amazing how a game can give me so much joy in a way it didn’t intend at all. This is the definition of a guilty pleasure, except it’s not really a pleasure… ‘’guilty novelty’’, yeah, I think that’s the better way to put it.
This is, indeed, the BOTY.
2017
Here we go indeed!
I had things planned differently, as I intended for this game to be my 100th review on here, but why wait to celebrate so long? Today I got 100 followers, and this requires some partying! I know it may be silly, but I really want to show my appreciation for all of you, and what better way than to talk about this adventure of a game? You could say my hat is off to y'all, but cut the sentimentalisms for now...
... we have an odyssey to live.
I tend to talk about my relationship with a game, being prior or after playing it, when it’s a work to which I'm especially fond off; well, believe me when I tell you that with this one is no different. As much of a fan as I am of the red plumber, I actually arrived pretty late to the 3D party, or rather, I never stayed for the full duration. I never had the opportunity to even touch 64 or Sunshine for the longest time, and for those that I did play, like both Galaxy games and 64 DS. Yep, that's right, I didn't beat Galaxy until 2020 Jesus Christ I'm a disgrace. I always liked what I played, but for one reason or another (mainly me just not having time or simply being bad) I never finish them, and so, for the longest time, the only 3D Mario game I completed was 3D Land...
BUT THEN 2017 HAPPENNED! It's common knowledge at this point that 2017 had some BANGERS of releases, but for me personally, it was perhaps the most important year as someone that loves this medium. I got the chance to play so many incredible games, some that would even stay as favorites of mine, and Odyssey's release had me excited in a way that its unique to it. However, this was a time when I only had the chance to get new games when it was as presents either in my birthday or during Christmas, as I was still in high school back then and barely even knew what ''taxes'' were... truly happy times. Anyway, I already accepted the fact that I would need to wait a bit before I managed to get the game... and then E3's Nintendo Direct happened and it turned out the game was going to release a day before my birthday.
When I came back from high school that sweet autumn Friday, my father had already bought the game, as a day before present, and well... let's just say I spent a liiiiiiiiiiiittle too much time inside my room playing the game that weekend. Those three days I spent adventuring and jumping kinda made something click in my brain, for the first time I was analyzing every nook and cranny that the game had to offer as much as I was experiencing it, and it amazes me that every time I came back to it, everything held up just as I remembered it, from the very beginning.
Mario games have always been dictated by one single principle: movement, and to be even more precise, what challenges do they create around that movement. It's a game in itself, of creating a ''problem'' and then finding a ''solution'' to it through the level design. You could argue, and you would be right, that all games do follow this process in some way or another, but with Mario, it has always been even more apparent. They all share this ''toy-box'' like feel, and I say this in the best way possible; whether it's a big open map or a little linear Galaxy, all of Mario's adventures have this sense of being purely designed with one singles objective in mind, being fun. Odyssey not only once again tackles this way of design, but it goes even further beyond than any game in the series has ever gone before it.
Mario’s movement has be the best it has ever felt in a 3D space, and in a way it’s the absolute culmination of all of his prior abilities. The dive, long-jump and the new introduced Cappy amount to a movability that should be illegal, you can perform almost everything your mind can muster and do some incredible tricks, all while traversing the kingdoms and constantly experimenting with whatever you come across, and that’s precisely where the ‘’captures’’ enter. Apar from being an incredible cool system that lets you become most of the enemies you come across, the puzzles than involve it are some of the creative ever put into a 3D space. Making chain reactions with the Chain Chomps (hey there’s the pun!), gliding as an old dino, making towers of goombas or just being a goddamn cactus, the surprises just keep coming over and over, and that is what sparks your imagination. You begin to ask: ‘’can I do this?’’, ‘’can I make this jump if I get enough rocket flowers?’’, ‘’can this capture go over water?’’, ‘’is there actually something at the bottom of this ‘’endless’’ pit?’’ and much, much more. On the surface, and sometimes even in practice, it’s extremely simple, but it goes a long way in activating the funny part on the brain that likes videogames, and fills you with child-like wonder at the mere thought of trying something new, and it’s not only the movement and level design that achieves this, but also everything that surrounds it.
The kingdoms are, alongside Isle Delfino and some of Galaxy’s galaxies, the most alive that a place in a Mario platformer have ever felt; the music and visuals are so distinct between each other, yet they still manage to fit in the context of this absolute bonkers world. They all follow a more ‘’open-world’’ route, but at the same time, retain the more linear style of is more direct predecessors; while you are free to go around and explore to find secret, hidden moons, you also are compelled to follow the more direct path, one that follows the story, and every time you get a ‘’main moon’’ the kingdom changes, which lets you advance even further. But the game doesn’t make this path mandatory, in fact, in a lot of kingdoms you can get the necessary number of moons to advance without even getting a single important moon, but you’ll likely still take this more linear route at first. Not only is a perfect way to familiarize yourself with the kingdom, the surprises that wait you if you decide to go through range from fighting a giant octopus across an entire sea kingdom, participating in a race of bouncing seals, or a amazing festival that could have perfectly been the secret ending to the game for how outstanding it is visually wise and the feeling of celebration and victory it gives: a festival not done to and for Mario, but more more-so to us, to everyone that plays the game.
Many have pointed out the inconsistency of the moons, and while I’m not gonna defend it all, and I’m fact I’m going to admit that my biggest problem with the game is the amount of moons there’s in here, it reaches the absurd and some of them aren’t worth it at all, and going 100% in this is an absolute nightmare… yet I still know why they did it this way. So many moons, some harder to get, some easier, makes it so that depending on which type of player you are, your experience is going to change; this freedom has a purpose, both for inviting you to discover anything you can, and to take things at your own pace, it’s an adventure that’s all about letting you decide which step you are going to take, what are you going to do in each kingdom, how’s going to be YOUR odyssey?
Regardless, the end is the same, the incredible final battle against Bowser that culminates in a escaping sequence that to this day feels so, so special. Each little moment, even if it advances the adventure or not, moments that can go from defeating a giant mecha-bunny in the moon to just sitting down and having a conversation with someone on a bench; aside from the bench I wouldn’t call this moments touching, emotional or much less profound, but it’s… nice, it’s… joyful. I know that I sound biased, and maybe I am, I’m not denying that, but I truly believe this game is very special, is a voyage that I only like and enjoy more as time passes, as things change, as hearts break, there’s a comfort in the little and big moments, and this dumb game about an Italian plumber is full of them. A lot of people don’t see them, and honestly, I absolutely get it, maybe I just like jumping too much or my life experiences have made me too soft with this one, but I truly see a work of art that seeks to be pure joy, I can’t call it lacking, I can’t criticize it for something it isn’t, and maybe I should, but I’m just too bewildered to even consider doing it, and once I do it… what is left for me to say?
It's an experience that doesn’t seek to make us cry, but god fucking damn does it make me smile, a love letter to the players, and in an industry full of tragedy, heck, in a WORLD full of horrendous things, it’s good to laugh before facing hardship, to take a stroll, as long as it needs to be, so before we once again continue, let’s grab the flag together…
… the fireworks are gonna start.
I had things planned differently, as I intended for this game to be my 100th review on here, but why wait to celebrate so long? Today I got 100 followers, and this requires some partying! I know it may be silly, but I really want to show my appreciation for all of you, and what better way than to talk about this adventure of a game? You could say my hat is off to y'all, but cut the sentimentalisms for now...
... we have an odyssey to live.
I tend to talk about my relationship with a game, being prior or after playing it, when it’s a work to which I'm especially fond off; well, believe me when I tell you that with this one is no different. As much of a fan as I am of the red plumber, I actually arrived pretty late to the 3D party, or rather, I never stayed for the full duration. I never had the opportunity to even touch 64 or Sunshine for the longest time, and for those that I did play, like both Galaxy games and 64 DS. Yep, that's right, I didn't beat Galaxy until 2020 Jesus Christ I'm a disgrace. I always liked what I played, but for one reason or another (mainly me just not having time or simply being bad) I never finish them, and so, for the longest time, the only 3D Mario game I completed was 3D Land...
BUT THEN 2017 HAPPENNED! It's common knowledge at this point that 2017 had some BANGERS of releases, but for me personally, it was perhaps the most important year as someone that loves this medium. I got the chance to play so many incredible games, some that would even stay as favorites of mine, and Odyssey's release had me excited in a way that its unique to it. However, this was a time when I only had the chance to get new games when it was as presents either in my birthday or during Christmas, as I was still in high school back then and barely even knew what ''taxes'' were... truly happy times. Anyway, I already accepted the fact that I would need to wait a bit before I managed to get the game... and then E3's Nintendo Direct happened and it turned out the game was going to release a day before my birthday.
When I came back from high school that sweet autumn Friday, my father had already bought the game, as a day before present, and well... let's just say I spent a liiiiiiiiiiiittle too much time inside my room playing the game that weekend. Those three days I spent adventuring and jumping kinda made something click in my brain, for the first time I was analyzing every nook and cranny that the game had to offer as much as I was experiencing it, and it amazes me that every time I came back to it, everything held up just as I remembered it, from the very beginning.
Mario games have always been dictated by one single principle: movement, and to be even more precise, what challenges do they create around that movement. It's a game in itself, of creating a ''problem'' and then finding a ''solution'' to it through the level design. You could argue, and you would be right, that all games do follow this process in some way or another, but with Mario, it has always been even more apparent. They all share this ''toy-box'' like feel, and I say this in the best way possible; whether it's a big open map or a little linear Galaxy, all of Mario's adventures have this sense of being purely designed with one singles objective in mind, being fun. Odyssey not only once again tackles this way of design, but it goes even further beyond than any game in the series has ever gone before it.
Mario’s movement has be the best it has ever felt in a 3D space, and in a way it’s the absolute culmination of all of his prior abilities. The dive, long-jump and the new introduced Cappy amount to a movability that should be illegal, you can perform almost everything your mind can muster and do some incredible tricks, all while traversing the kingdoms and constantly experimenting with whatever you come across, and that’s precisely where the ‘’captures’’ enter. Apar from being an incredible cool system that lets you become most of the enemies you come across, the puzzles than involve it are some of the creative ever put into a 3D space. Making chain reactions with the Chain Chomps (hey there’s the pun!), gliding as an old dino, making towers of goombas or just being a goddamn cactus, the surprises just keep coming over and over, and that is what sparks your imagination. You begin to ask: ‘’can I do this?’’, ‘’can I make this jump if I get enough rocket flowers?’’, ‘’can this capture go over water?’’, ‘’is there actually something at the bottom of this ‘’endless’’ pit?’’ and much, much more. On the surface, and sometimes even in practice, it’s extremely simple, but it goes a long way in activating the funny part on the brain that likes videogames, and fills you with child-like wonder at the mere thought of trying something new, and it’s not only the movement and level design that achieves this, but also everything that surrounds it.
The kingdoms are, alongside Isle Delfino and some of Galaxy’s galaxies, the most alive that a place in a Mario platformer have ever felt; the music and visuals are so distinct between each other, yet they still manage to fit in the context of this absolute bonkers world. They all follow a more ‘’open-world’’ route, but at the same time, retain the more linear style of is more direct predecessors; while you are free to go around and explore to find secret, hidden moons, you also are compelled to follow the more direct path, one that follows the story, and every time you get a ‘’main moon’’ the kingdom changes, which lets you advance even further. But the game doesn’t make this path mandatory, in fact, in a lot of kingdoms you can get the necessary number of moons to advance without even getting a single important moon, but you’ll likely still take this more linear route at first. Not only is a perfect way to familiarize yourself with the kingdom, the surprises that wait you if you decide to go through range from fighting a giant octopus across an entire sea kingdom, participating in a race of bouncing seals, or a amazing festival that could have perfectly been the secret ending to the game for how outstanding it is visually wise and the feeling of celebration and victory it gives: a festival not done to and for Mario, but more more-so to us, to everyone that plays the game.
Many have pointed out the inconsistency of the moons, and while I’m not gonna defend it all, and I’m fact I’m going to admit that my biggest problem with the game is the amount of moons there’s in here, it reaches the absurd and some of them aren’t worth it at all, and going 100% in this is an absolute nightmare… yet I still know why they did it this way. So many moons, some harder to get, some easier, makes it so that depending on which type of player you are, your experience is going to change; this freedom has a purpose, both for inviting you to discover anything you can, and to take things at your own pace, it’s an adventure that’s all about letting you decide which step you are going to take, what are you going to do in each kingdom, how’s going to be YOUR odyssey?
Regardless, the end is the same, the incredible final battle against Bowser that culminates in a escaping sequence that to this day feels so, so special. Each little moment, even if it advances the adventure or not, moments that can go from defeating a giant mecha-bunny in the moon to just sitting down and having a conversation with someone on a bench; aside from the bench I wouldn’t call this moments touching, emotional or much less profound, but it’s… nice, it’s… joyful. I know that I sound biased, and maybe I am, I’m not denying that, but I truly believe this game is very special, is a voyage that I only like and enjoy more as time passes, as things change, as hearts break, there’s a comfort in the little and big moments, and this dumb game about an Italian plumber is full of them. A lot of people don’t see them, and honestly, I absolutely get it, maybe I just like jumping too much or my life experiences have made me too soft with this one, but I truly see a work of art that seeks to be pure joy, I can’t call it lacking, I can’t criticize it for something it isn’t, and maybe I should, but I’m just too bewildered to even consider doing it, and once I do it… what is left for me to say?
It's an experience that doesn’t seek to make us cry, but god fucking damn does it make me smile, a love letter to the players, and in an industry full of tragedy, heck, in a WORLD full of horrendous things, it’s good to laugh before facing hardship, to take a stroll, as long as it needs to be, so before we once again continue, let’s grab the flag together…
… the fireworks are gonna start.
2023
Watch me lose the little credibility I had by saying that a fucking Grimace game that runs on a Game Boy Color is better than Crash Bandicoot.
I should preface by being completely honest and say that my connection with McDonald's mascots has been absolutely minimal over the years, the only one I've ever seen on TV being this absolute monstrosity. I've barely had any contact with the Hamburglar, the Touhou funny clown, the one that shall not be named and, of course, the good ol' purple nub is no exception, and the biggest achievement this game accomplished was making me feel nostalgic for characters I was exposed to only because of the internet. I say this but I also must be one of the four motherfuckers that knows that Grimace has canonically mentioned his grandma; I really don't know why I know this information when I didn't even know who Birdie was until now.
The fact this can be played in a GBC is already really cool, but playing it in web browser was also extremely charming. It SCREAMS of 90’s product in the best way possible, and yes, I mean product; it goes for the most ad-game vibe possible and it rocks at it: the product placement, the way everything looks (including the web-site), the characters talking in internet slang, to even Grimace fucking skating; it’s an amalgamation of the 90’s and internet era advertising and it’s so apologetic and obvious it oozes charm. They embraced the absurdity, while it still serves as a kind of advertising, and it’s the first time in my life a game of this sort doesn’t even annoy me once.
The gameplay also screams od 90’s tie-in game!... And by that I mean it’s bad!
Well that’s a bit of a exaggeration, it’s just that the skating controls are sometimes infuriatingly loose and imprecise, especially in hard (WARNING: DO NOT PLAY GRIMACE’S BIRTHDAY ON THE HARD CONTROLS SETTING, WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE), and the rest of the platforming stages are nothing especial at all… which kinda adds to the vibe of it all.
The game is what it is: a really short game that doesn’t shine in anything, just as most games of its genre, and the fact that this time is by all means intentional adds a lot of value in a weird, twisted way. It really perplexed me that something like this was requested by the company itself and not done by fans out of parody and love, ‘cause that what it feels like; it isn’t anything too bombastic or great, it’s just lovely.
Take it away, Lee Greenwood
I should preface by being completely honest and say that my connection with McDonald's mascots has been absolutely minimal over the years, the only one I've ever seen on TV being this absolute monstrosity. I've barely had any contact with the Hamburglar, the Touhou funny clown, the one that shall not be named and, of course, the good ol' purple nub is no exception, and the biggest achievement this game accomplished was making me feel nostalgic for characters I was exposed to only because of the internet. I say this but I also must be one of the four motherfuckers that knows that Grimace has canonically mentioned his grandma; I really don't know why I know this information when I didn't even know who Birdie was until now.
The fact this can be played in a GBC is already really cool, but playing it in web browser was also extremely charming. It SCREAMS of 90’s product in the best way possible, and yes, I mean product; it goes for the most ad-game vibe possible and it rocks at it: the product placement, the way everything looks (including the web-site), the characters talking in internet slang, to even Grimace fucking skating; it’s an amalgamation of the 90’s and internet era advertising and it’s so apologetic and obvious it oozes charm. They embraced the absurdity, while it still serves as a kind of advertising, and it’s the first time in my life a game of this sort doesn’t even annoy me once.
The gameplay also screams od 90’s tie-in game!... And by that I mean it’s bad!
Well that’s a bit of a exaggeration, it’s just that the skating controls are sometimes infuriatingly loose and imprecise, especially in hard (WARNING: DO NOT PLAY GRIMACE’S BIRTHDAY ON THE HARD CONTROLS SETTING, WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE), and the rest of the platforming stages are nothing especial at all… which kinda adds to the vibe of it all.
The game is what it is: a really short game that doesn’t shine in anything, just as most games of its genre, and the fact that this time is by all means intentional adds a lot of value in a weird, twisted way. It really perplexed me that something like this was requested by the company itself and not done by fans out of parody and love, ‘cause that what it feels like; it isn’t anything too bombastic or great, it’s just lovely.
Take it away, Lee Greenwood
1989
Some would say that all this ''vanishing you'' thing is getting tiring, Dracula, but I must say... I like to think I’m just getting the hang of it.
I didn't know what the hell to expect from Castlevania III. As a stranger to the monster-whipping saga till now, it's by far the game I've heard the least about regarding the original Famicon/NES trilogy, tho that may have been a given since the debate around Simon's Quest and praise for the original Castlevania have been pretty loud on online discourse, especially some years back.
But when I saw that III was going to completely backpaddle on everything II did, I would lie if I said I didn’t feel disappointed; I may not think highly of Simon’s Quest’s as a complete package, but that game did some incredibly genius stuff with its tone and design, and even if I don’t have anything against continuist entries in a franchise, returning to the closed walls of Dracula’s castle once again and play the same dance around from the first time felt like throwing out an insurmountable potential, to throw out the window a more aggressive a wild look into Transylvania for the sake of the jumping and falling that worked on the first go.
So yeah, you could say I was pretty cautious going in, I never expected to hate it or even dislike it, in fact the little I heard was pretty positive, but I was still scared that I’d end up not getti- Oh who am I kidding, you know where I’m going with this and it’s exact same rant I said for Hi Fi Rush, let’s cut the shit, time to gush!
Also, as you may have noticed but I failed to acknowledge till now, I ended up playing the original Japanese version of the game, since I was told that the NES version went absolutely batshit insane with its difficulty, even more than the usual I mean, so this is not Castlevania gaming, this is Akumajou Densetsu gaming and, I’m sorry, but that name actually goes pretty hard and is what I’m gonna call it from now till the end of times.
Now, where was I?... Oh yeah, I was about to START JAMMING!
I… is it too exaggerated to say that Akumajou Densetsu is one of my favorite, if not my absolute preferred, Famicon game? I cannot thing of other 8 Bit adventures with a similar structure that compare, it is so impressive both a sequel and even a stand-alone game that I’m still SHOCKED at the technical and design prowess it shows, and not because I didn’t think the team behind these games wasn’t capable of something like this, but because it goes further beyond what the series stablished, a series already accustomed with perfectioning and exploring new visual and gameplay ideas.
We may have returned to the 2D linear platforming roots, but that just means we have another way to explore Transylvania; Simon’s Quest managed to create a fairly grounded, sad world, full of villages and cycles, secrets and dungeons, that Transylvania had seen and suffered the effects of the first game and it showed and perfectly worked for what it was. But now we go back 100 years to the past, to the rise of the Belmont name and the adventure of Trevor, and this Transylvania is very different from last time, but so hauntingly familiar at the same time. We return to the vibrant, outstandingly looking visuals from the first adventure, scenarios beautiful as a painting and designed to each fit a different part that conforms this damned land, from overtaken resting grounds to ever rising mechanical towers. Long are the days of being confined to a singular building, or rather, it’ll be long before that fate catches up to Simon, and right now openness is the name of the game. Paths that branch with each level beaten feel exciting, like a constant plunge into the unknown that rewards you with new faces or progress; this goes beyond just being replayability candy, this is an honest to god odyssey that gives you the lead, and can go one way or another depending which way you decide to go.
It wouldn’t be a Castlevania game without some bullshit which, charming as it may be, it’s still bullshit, and Akumajou Densetsu, even in its not as completely deranged original version, it still provides some challenge that walks dangerously close into the ‘’unfair barrage of crap’’ zone, but for every moment like that that it has, it doesn’t take too long for me to be swept away by the artful platforming. This may just be my favorite collection of hazards and challenges I’ve seen a platforming sequel in my entire life, things like the giant spinning gears, the acid tears that melt blocks or the no-jump platforms are, too put it lightly, unbelievable amazing. More than ever before, every platform, every enemy, every giant swinging pendulum, it has a tangible real place in this world, it fits, and it’s so much fun to jump across and whip through. I still cannot believe the scrolling sections, which tend to be parts I do not enjoy in any game, were something I loved to see and beat each and every time, and the rewarding feeling I got from beating them was the same as beating Dracula in the first game, which is getting me in a boss fighting mood…
I never really cared for most of the bosses of the series so far, the original Castlevania had a pretty great roster with some foes that made the overall quality sour, and you could argue Simon’s Quest doesn’t even have bosses, just really big, really slow big targets that damaged you more by contact than through their actual attacks… And now I’m struggling to think about one boss I disliked even a bit! All new big bads are aggressive as hell, and that makes the challenge come to one thing; either be patient a find a spot that helps you to take your chances, or never. Stop. MOVING. They are all some memorable I could praise them all in different ways, like how much I love Frankenstein and its slow movement but hardhitting throwing blocks, the gauntlet of already seen faces and an amazing callback to the final boss of the original game that the Fire Spirit poses, the sheer terror Death produces with a rerise of its original fight a brand new phase, Fake Dracula being a super cool callback and a fun fight of its own that’s amplified by the platforms… I could go on and on, hell, even fights like the albeit simple Monster Grant stuck out in my mind as really exciting encounters! …oh wait, that reminds me… hi Grant!
Trevor is not alone is its voyage, even if I wouldn’t have bat an eye if he was; he controls exactly the same as Simon (or at least so similarly I didn’t noticed any differences) which might as well mean that he controls smooth as butter, he walks with the same calculated heaviness and jumps with requiting the same commitment as ever, he even still has the same tools as seen in the first game, which I kind of like, I’m probably thinking about it too much but I like how these items go so back in the timeline and how they still fit so well to the design. And still… there’s space for surprises. New faces show up as playable companions, always available to change into once you meat them, even if you can only have one at a time: they fit perfectly into the world, saving each in a different way and meeting them in completely different places, which is yet another way the game shows just how much freedom it lends you and the routes you can take, and no matter if you only come across to one in your entire playthrough, it always feels like you gain something. Grant is a fun slippery bastard, being able to cling into walls and roofs, he can go through places boring Trevor never could and go past enemies with so much ease it sometimes feels like another puzzle in itself; Sypha has a lot of potions available to obtain, and there’s a reason many players beat the game when being accompanied by her, the potions and special abilities make her eat through entire hordes of enemies and even bosses with the right the chance… but I’m sorry, my favorite has to be Alucard. As I said, all helpers are useful on their own ways and all are super fun, but there’s something so satisfying about going ‘’you know what, fuck this room in particular!’’, turning into a bat and skipping the entire challenge, and also his fully upgraded attack is like, the absolute best, my favorite just behind Trevor’s own whip.
Akumajou Densetsu is so far above being just a sequel that even when I was nearing the ending I was expecting it to surprise me yet again. The continuous levels and special challenges that go far above the usual 3 sections of the past, having to go back in a few stages which SHOULD feel tiring and boring, but instead is just another way the way poses a challenge in a different way, with even some surprises along the way. New enemies, new phases that make the original Dracula fight look archaic, with is easily the best evolution regarding boss fights the game could have ever hoped for, the path system, the different characters and item holding…
If Castlevania made me feel determination and Simon’s Quest a profound feeling of curiosity and sadness, Akumajou Densetsu combines all those emotions and adds pure excitement into the mix, excitement for the unknown, yes, but also to see this adventure of the past come true, to see things that shouldn’t surprise me completely awe me, the opening cinematic, as if a movie was beginning and the beautiful music enveloped my ears, perfectly encapsulates everything this series strived for and then some, being an epic as much as a sad tale, but once I reached Dracula’s castle, the emotions I should have felt like terror and caution weren’t there, instead, only a thought crossed my mind as I smiled…: ‘’I’m home’’
I didn't know what the hell to expect from Castlevania III. As a stranger to the monster-whipping saga till now, it's by far the game I've heard the least about regarding the original Famicon/NES trilogy, tho that may have been a given since the debate around Simon's Quest and praise for the original Castlevania have been pretty loud on online discourse, especially some years back.
But when I saw that III was going to completely backpaddle on everything II did, I would lie if I said I didn’t feel disappointed; I may not think highly of Simon’s Quest’s as a complete package, but that game did some incredibly genius stuff with its tone and design, and even if I don’t have anything against continuist entries in a franchise, returning to the closed walls of Dracula’s castle once again and play the same dance around from the first time felt like throwing out an insurmountable potential, to throw out the window a more aggressive a wild look into Transylvania for the sake of the jumping and falling that worked on the first go.
So yeah, you could say I was pretty cautious going in, I never expected to hate it or even dislike it, in fact the little I heard was pretty positive, but I was still scared that I’d end up not getti- Oh who am I kidding, you know where I’m going with this and it’s exact same rant I said for Hi Fi Rush, let’s cut the shit, time to gush!
Also, as you may have noticed but I failed to acknowledge till now, I ended up playing the original Japanese version of the game, since I was told that the NES version went absolutely batshit insane with its difficulty, even more than the usual I mean, so this is not Castlevania gaming, this is Akumajou Densetsu gaming and, I’m sorry, but that name actually goes pretty hard and is what I’m gonna call it from now till the end of times.
Now, where was I?... Oh yeah, I was about to START JAMMING!
I… is it too exaggerated to say that Akumajou Densetsu is one of my favorite, if not my absolute preferred, Famicon game? I cannot thing of other 8 Bit adventures with a similar structure that compare, it is so impressive both a sequel and even a stand-alone game that I’m still SHOCKED at the technical and design prowess it shows, and not because I didn’t think the team behind these games wasn’t capable of something like this, but because it goes further beyond what the series stablished, a series already accustomed with perfectioning and exploring new visual and gameplay ideas.
We may have returned to the 2D linear platforming roots, but that just means we have another way to explore Transylvania; Simon’s Quest managed to create a fairly grounded, sad world, full of villages and cycles, secrets and dungeons, that Transylvania had seen and suffered the effects of the first game and it showed and perfectly worked for what it was. But now we go back 100 years to the past, to the rise of the Belmont name and the adventure of Trevor, and this Transylvania is very different from last time, but so hauntingly familiar at the same time. We return to the vibrant, outstandingly looking visuals from the first adventure, scenarios beautiful as a painting and designed to each fit a different part that conforms this damned land, from overtaken resting grounds to ever rising mechanical towers. Long are the days of being confined to a singular building, or rather, it’ll be long before that fate catches up to Simon, and right now openness is the name of the game. Paths that branch with each level beaten feel exciting, like a constant plunge into the unknown that rewards you with new faces or progress; this goes beyond just being replayability candy, this is an honest to god odyssey that gives you the lead, and can go one way or another depending which way you decide to go.
It wouldn’t be a Castlevania game without some bullshit which, charming as it may be, it’s still bullshit, and Akumajou Densetsu, even in its not as completely deranged original version, it still provides some challenge that walks dangerously close into the ‘’unfair barrage of crap’’ zone, but for every moment like that that it has, it doesn’t take too long for me to be swept away by the artful platforming. This may just be my favorite collection of hazards and challenges I’ve seen a platforming sequel in my entire life, things like the giant spinning gears, the acid tears that melt blocks or the no-jump platforms are, too put it lightly, unbelievable amazing. More than ever before, every platform, every enemy, every giant swinging pendulum, it has a tangible real place in this world, it fits, and it’s so much fun to jump across and whip through. I still cannot believe the scrolling sections, which tend to be parts I do not enjoy in any game, were something I loved to see and beat each and every time, and the rewarding feeling I got from beating them was the same as beating Dracula in the first game, which is getting me in a boss fighting mood…
I never really cared for most of the bosses of the series so far, the original Castlevania had a pretty great roster with some foes that made the overall quality sour, and you could argue Simon’s Quest doesn’t even have bosses, just really big, really slow big targets that damaged you more by contact than through their actual attacks… And now I’m struggling to think about one boss I disliked even a bit! All new big bads are aggressive as hell, and that makes the challenge come to one thing; either be patient a find a spot that helps you to take your chances, or never. Stop. MOVING. They are all some memorable I could praise them all in different ways, like how much I love Frankenstein and its slow movement but hardhitting throwing blocks, the gauntlet of already seen faces and an amazing callback to the final boss of the original game that the Fire Spirit poses, the sheer terror Death produces with a rerise of its original fight a brand new phase, Fake Dracula being a super cool callback and a fun fight of its own that’s amplified by the platforms… I could go on and on, hell, even fights like the albeit simple Monster Grant stuck out in my mind as really exciting encounters! …oh wait, that reminds me… hi Grant!
Trevor is not alone is its voyage, even if I wouldn’t have bat an eye if he was; he controls exactly the same as Simon (or at least so similarly I didn’t noticed any differences) which might as well mean that he controls smooth as butter, he walks with the same calculated heaviness and jumps with requiting the same commitment as ever, he even still has the same tools as seen in the first game, which I kind of like, I’m probably thinking about it too much but I like how these items go so back in the timeline and how they still fit so well to the design. And still… there’s space for surprises. New faces show up as playable companions, always available to change into once you meat them, even if you can only have one at a time: they fit perfectly into the world, saving each in a different way and meeting them in completely different places, which is yet another way the game shows just how much freedom it lends you and the routes you can take, and no matter if you only come across to one in your entire playthrough, it always feels like you gain something. Grant is a fun slippery bastard, being able to cling into walls and roofs, he can go through places boring Trevor never could and go past enemies with so much ease it sometimes feels like another puzzle in itself; Sypha has a lot of potions available to obtain, and there’s a reason many players beat the game when being accompanied by her, the potions and special abilities make her eat through entire hordes of enemies and even bosses with the right the chance… but I’m sorry, my favorite has to be Alucard. As I said, all helpers are useful on their own ways and all are super fun, but there’s something so satisfying about going ‘’you know what, fuck this room in particular!’’, turning into a bat and skipping the entire challenge, and also his fully upgraded attack is like, the absolute best, my favorite just behind Trevor’s own whip.
Akumajou Densetsu is so far above being just a sequel that even when I was nearing the ending I was expecting it to surprise me yet again. The continuous levels and special challenges that go far above the usual 3 sections of the past, having to go back in a few stages which SHOULD feel tiring and boring, but instead is just another way the way poses a challenge in a different way, with even some surprises along the way. New enemies, new phases that make the original Dracula fight look archaic, with is easily the best evolution regarding boss fights the game could have ever hoped for, the path system, the different characters and item holding…
If Castlevania made me feel determination and Simon’s Quest a profound feeling of curiosity and sadness, Akumajou Densetsu combines all those emotions and adds pure excitement into the mix, excitement for the unknown, yes, but also to see this adventure of the past come true, to see things that shouldn’t surprise me completely awe me, the opening cinematic, as if a movie was beginning and the beautiful music enveloped my ears, perfectly encapsulates everything this series strived for and then some, being an epic as much as a sad tale, but once I reached Dracula’s castle, the emotions I should have felt like terror and caution weren’t there, instead, only a thought crossed my mind as I smiled…: ‘’I’m home’’
2023
The moment you press Start Journey on the title screen, you are thrown into a decrepit town of orange buildings in the middle of an endless desert. A few of the inhabitants speak of a tongue you cannot understand, others seem to express a kind of pity for you and tell you it’s best to ‘’move on’’, most of them simply dismiss you or express a deep hatred towards you; you clearly have committed a heinous deed, but nobody is interested in revealing what. There’s nothing to buy, no one to talk to, no mission to receive, there’s nothing in this place for you, and once you get on your speeder and embark to the middle of nowhere, you can never return. There’s nothing to go back to.
It all starts when you leave…
I discovered It Comes in Waves thanks to @LordDarias fantastic review of it, and since then I just knew I had to try it. If anything, it seemed quite interesting, I do like me some introspective Sci-Fi, and I think it says a lot about the game that despite knowing the themes and general ideas it was going to tackle (it’s not like it tries to hide itself anyway, in the steam page already describes itself as a ‘’experimental open-world adventure about guilt and grief’’) it still surprised me and captivated me in ways that I didn’t expect it would do.
There has always been this kind of repetitive and at this point dumb discussion around if videogames need to be fun to be worth or engaging, if enjoying the gameplay is synonym of enjoying the experience as a whole; I call it ‘’dumb’’ because I truly believe that we’ve gone WAY past the point where it has proven that no, a videogame doesn’t have to fun to be worth it, and in fact it can have value in precisely being the total opposite. Now, I’m not saying that everyone can and should enjoy games that center their mechanics around frustration and repetition, but I’m saying that there’s an undeniable value in that, and It Comes in Waves it’s the perfect showing of how despite not being quote on quote ‘’fun’’, it’s engaging as few other works manage to be.
It all started when you left…
Despite never being properly named in-game, a look to the steam page reveals that you’ve just arrives to ‘’Eremar Prime’’, which, aside of sounding oddly like a Zone out of a Sonic game, makes it immediately apparent that mercy is not going to be a granted thing around these parts, even if the welcome is surprising warming; a couple of sings shed a bit of light on how the game controls and finally give a bit of context: you carry a ‘’specimen’’, but it’s not fully grown yet, and entrance to the sanctuary remains closed until you change that. Your quest is clear, make the specimen grow, arrive at sanctuary, and not die of thirst and the dangers and scarcity that ‘’Eremar Prime’’ holds in store. Good luck.
People have said that the gameplay loop of the game it’s only secondary to what it aspires to say and show, that this is a more contemplative game than anything else, and I only half agree with that notion. ‘’Emerar Prime’’ is nothing short of striking despite its empty nature; an empty sadness of what this land once was plagues its every corner; a dead forest that ends on a titanic tree that seemingly reached for the stars and was punished by the sun to eternally burn, giant remaining and skulls of deceased titans of old fill the landscape, their blood pouring from a few and infecting the rivers they touch; the only alive beings that walk this land are the scavengers , the robots, and whatever are the things the grunts that plague the fields come from. It’s not a particularly big setting, but it feels as such, each that you walk without being close to death is a victory in its own right, and locating and orienting yourself on the map makes the lands feel a bit less daunting… a bit. The excellent music and sounds helps ‘’Emerar Prime’’ feel more alien than it already is; each piece evokes a deep sense of dread and fear to an unknown that isn’t really there, but fear is. Fear is communicated as well by the ambience as it is by the gameplay, and that’s when what I said earlier with only ‘’half agreeing’’ comes in.
It Comes in Waves’s gameplay might not be the most profound or entertaining thing in the world, but it is central to making you feel the horrors of the desert, and I’m not talking about the threat of Permadeath. As you scavenge the lands for guns and upgrades to your equipment, not so different from the enemy scavengers you mercilessly kill as you encounter them and their scattered bases, you also seek to make the specimen grow faster and, most of all, find water for yourself. Water and the lack of it is exactly what poses the difference between life and death; it’s a constant fight for survival that it’s never truly won. There might be some moments of peace after finding a tank of water in the middle of nowhere, but just as the desperation is gone, it comes back fast: water is always depleting, and it does it fast. You may encounter upgrades that slow the depleting process, but it’s never too much help to make you ever feel comfortable, and the only moment it does slow down considerably is when the night falls, moment when the sight, one of the two things you have to aid in your survival alongside your weapons, is almost gone. The only calm is fleeting, and the stress has moments where it goes quiet. It comes in waves.
While I think that the randomness of where certain scavengers may spawn (or rather not to) and the water tanks just being in random places are things that go a bit against what It Comes in Waves goes for and make it feel more ‘’videogamie’’, they are still far from huge detractors (and there is a deeper meaning to search in the fact it makes you feel sad at the prospect of not being able to find people to kill and steal their resources) and what is done right delivers in spades. It’s an experimental work, and the experiment was a success, at first I believed that its themes may have been a little tacked on, but once the personal quest starts is more than apparent that’s far from the case. Everything comes back to guilt, everything returns to that overarching feeling of desperation and loss, of a past impossible to go back to and a present seemingly impossible to fix… but there’s a reason to go on to. A result that might not result on eternal peace or forgiveness, but it might calm the grief if just for but a fleeting moment. And that alone might be worth deifying the hollowness and thirst.
My first death was drowning in the river of blood; driven fearful by the night and thirst I fell down to a demise that was in front of me.
My second one was to thirst; I was defeated by the wasteland.
In my last attempt, scared of not finding more water and with the specimen 90% grown, I decided to try to finish my pilgrimage. I arrived to the doors of sanctuary without water, and then and there I stopped, and it was a matter of what would happen first, I would be given death, or the specimen would fully grow, and for a moment, despite the circumstances that should be anything by calm, I felt at peace. I had arrives and came this far, it was a victory on its own right, but I also felt hopeful. This was gonna be it.
The specimen reached 100% growth. The gates opened. I entered, only with 13% of my health remaining. I had done it and the fear was over, and I watched the finale, for I moment I questioned if the character would even make it out of there or after screen went black it would be its finale nonetheless.
A pessimistic thought to be sure… and one that didn’t take too long to go away. This was not moment for theories or negative thoughts. It was a moment of peace.
It all ends when you arrive…
It all starts when you leave…
I discovered It Comes in Waves thanks to @LordDarias fantastic review of it, and since then I just knew I had to try it. If anything, it seemed quite interesting, I do like me some introspective Sci-Fi, and I think it says a lot about the game that despite knowing the themes and general ideas it was going to tackle (it’s not like it tries to hide itself anyway, in the steam page already describes itself as a ‘’experimental open-world adventure about guilt and grief’’) it still surprised me and captivated me in ways that I didn’t expect it would do.
There has always been this kind of repetitive and at this point dumb discussion around if videogames need to be fun to be worth or engaging, if enjoying the gameplay is synonym of enjoying the experience as a whole; I call it ‘’dumb’’ because I truly believe that we’ve gone WAY past the point where it has proven that no, a videogame doesn’t have to fun to be worth it, and in fact it can have value in precisely being the total opposite. Now, I’m not saying that everyone can and should enjoy games that center their mechanics around frustration and repetition, but I’m saying that there’s an undeniable value in that, and It Comes in Waves it’s the perfect showing of how despite not being quote on quote ‘’fun’’, it’s engaging as few other works manage to be.
It all started when you left…
Despite never being properly named in-game, a look to the steam page reveals that you’ve just arrives to ‘’Eremar Prime’’, which, aside of sounding oddly like a Zone out of a Sonic game, makes it immediately apparent that mercy is not going to be a granted thing around these parts, even if the welcome is surprising warming; a couple of sings shed a bit of light on how the game controls and finally give a bit of context: you carry a ‘’specimen’’, but it’s not fully grown yet, and entrance to the sanctuary remains closed until you change that. Your quest is clear, make the specimen grow, arrive at sanctuary, and not die of thirst and the dangers and scarcity that ‘’Eremar Prime’’ holds in store. Good luck.
People have said that the gameplay loop of the game it’s only secondary to what it aspires to say and show, that this is a more contemplative game than anything else, and I only half agree with that notion. ‘’Emerar Prime’’ is nothing short of striking despite its empty nature; an empty sadness of what this land once was plagues its every corner; a dead forest that ends on a titanic tree that seemingly reached for the stars and was punished by the sun to eternally burn, giant remaining and skulls of deceased titans of old fill the landscape, their blood pouring from a few and infecting the rivers they touch; the only alive beings that walk this land are the scavengers , the robots, and whatever are the things the grunts that plague the fields come from. It’s not a particularly big setting, but it feels as such, each that you walk without being close to death is a victory in its own right, and locating and orienting yourself on the map makes the lands feel a bit less daunting… a bit. The excellent music and sounds helps ‘’Emerar Prime’’ feel more alien than it already is; each piece evokes a deep sense of dread and fear to an unknown that isn’t really there, but fear is. Fear is communicated as well by the ambience as it is by the gameplay, and that’s when what I said earlier with only ‘’half agreeing’’ comes in.
It Comes in Waves’s gameplay might not be the most profound or entertaining thing in the world, but it is central to making you feel the horrors of the desert, and I’m not talking about the threat of Permadeath. As you scavenge the lands for guns and upgrades to your equipment, not so different from the enemy scavengers you mercilessly kill as you encounter them and their scattered bases, you also seek to make the specimen grow faster and, most of all, find water for yourself. Water and the lack of it is exactly what poses the difference between life and death; it’s a constant fight for survival that it’s never truly won. There might be some moments of peace after finding a tank of water in the middle of nowhere, but just as the desperation is gone, it comes back fast: water is always depleting, and it does it fast. You may encounter upgrades that slow the depleting process, but it’s never too much help to make you ever feel comfortable, and the only moment it does slow down considerably is when the night falls, moment when the sight, one of the two things you have to aid in your survival alongside your weapons, is almost gone. The only calm is fleeting, and the stress has moments where it goes quiet. It comes in waves.
While I think that the randomness of where certain scavengers may spawn (or rather not to) and the water tanks just being in random places are things that go a bit against what It Comes in Waves goes for and make it feel more ‘’videogamie’’, they are still far from huge detractors (and there is a deeper meaning to search in the fact it makes you feel sad at the prospect of not being able to find people to kill and steal their resources) and what is done right delivers in spades. It’s an experimental work, and the experiment was a success, at first I believed that its themes may have been a little tacked on, but once the personal quest starts is more than apparent that’s far from the case. Everything comes back to guilt, everything returns to that overarching feeling of desperation and loss, of a past impossible to go back to and a present seemingly impossible to fix… but there’s a reason to go on to. A result that might not result on eternal peace or forgiveness, but it might calm the grief if just for but a fleeting moment. And that alone might be worth deifying the hollowness and thirst.
My first death was drowning in the river of blood; driven fearful by the night and thirst I fell down to a demise that was in front of me.
My second one was to thirst; I was defeated by the wasteland.
In my last attempt, scared of not finding more water and with the specimen 90% grown, I decided to try to finish my pilgrimage. I arrived to the doors of sanctuary without water, and then and there I stopped, and it was a matter of what would happen first, I would be given death, or the specimen would fully grow, and for a moment, despite the circumstances that should be anything by calm, I felt at peace. I had arrives and came this far, it was a victory on its own right, but I also felt hopeful. This was gonna be it.
The specimen reached 100% growth. The gates opened. I entered, only with 13% of my health remaining. I had done it and the fear was over, and I watched the finale, for I moment I questioned if the character would even make it out of there or after screen went black it would be its finale nonetheless.
A pessimistic thought to be sure… and one that didn’t take too long to go away. This was not moment for theories or negative thoughts. It was a moment of peace.
It all ends when you arrive…
Halfway through this I realized how much Mr. Coo reminded me of the Little Ceasars guy and now I can't unsee it; I've been cursed with this realization, and now everyone else shall be too.
In the multiple reviews I’ve written, in only a few of them I’ve tackled how the conditions or outside factors affected directly to the development of the game in question; I’ve always loved talking about the design processes and ideas that take place within the minds of developers during the making of a work and how this impacted the game or in some cases the whole industry as a whole, but when it comes to talking about what actually happened behind the curtain, the only times I’ve really done that were in my Journey, Sticker Star and Sonic Adventure reviews. And it's not that these kinds of tales are uncommon, I don’t think I have to tell you how sadly this pattern of difficult conditions is something that is as common as the sunset, time and time again it happens and time and time again it fucking sucks, and the only reason I haven’t talked about it as much it’s either because it luckily didn’t happen in many of the games I’ve written about or I didn’t see fit to mention it (or in some other it may be the case that developers haven’t even spoken about it). Games are still a form of art and they will always be that, and it just happens that in the way I review art I try to focus on the final product and the impact it has or may have had, and the reason I’m saying all of this it’s because for me to talk about The Many Pieces of Mr.Coo in any meaningful way, it’s imperative that I mention everything that happened before and after its release, ‘cause it’s one of those cases were both the game itself.
When looking at Mr. Coo’s little adventure purely on its own, without knowing anything else, talking about is pretty straightforward: It’s a visual delight in every single way possible; the work put to create the animations that give life to the characters and backgrounds that make up the scenery of this funny and dark surrealist world is beyond commendable. I’m kinda liking this accidental tradition of playing one surrealist adventure game per year, because the result is always so special; The Many Pieces of Mr.Coo has charm and creativity oozing from every possible angle, it’s a nonstop barrage of absurdism that works incredibly well, and not only it does serve to produce jaw-dropping visuals and a blend of styles that doesn’t feel jarring in the slightest, it also creates an amazing collection of puzzles that are as crazy as the game itself. Some of this are perhaps a little too weird and fall in that same Same & Max paradox in which it becomes sometimes impossible to really figure out what you need to do next, tho in this case the hint system helps a ton, and it incentivizes trying to think of the solution before using it, and sometimes some hints still require some stuff to figure out that are much more manageable. During two thirds of the total chapters, it’s a joy to play, a little fun adventure that’s displays some insanely good visuals and fun challenges…. But then the last batch of sections happens. It’s not that it gets worse, as in these final moments we still see some really cool ideas in both visuals and puzzling, rather, it’s like witnessing a plane crashing down as it tries to land in the airport because suddenly every machine possible decided to break down.
Even almost three months after its initial release, these final sections are plagued with bugs and glitches that completely break the game. This is no simple minor issue which I’d usually ignore, this are glaring problems that either break your immersion (like Coo’s legs just casually walking below the background or the click register sometimes being completely broken) or straight-up break the entire game, forcing you to quit and restart from the beginning of the section, and keep in mind that we have that luxury only now, when it first released there was no saving system, so if it the game made it impossible to progress because it decided to.. have fun starting from the very beginning! These problems come together in the final challenge, one that on paper was very interesting and fun, but in practice feels sloppy, unfairly hard and has the risk or completely breaking in a certain point, all culminating in that ending… oh god the ending… One thing is to have such an cliffhanger after a finale that was seemingly crumbling down, and another thing is to tell you to replay the game to get 100 sloppily put and hard to get collectables to get a secret ending that amounts to nothing, it really takes some cojones to make people feel like they completely lost their time. And the worst part about all of this, the single part about the whole game and the whole third act, it’s that it wasn’t gonna be this way, but it was forced to be released broken beyond repair.
Creative director Nacho Rodríguez hasn’t been shy about the sheer incompetence and unprofessionalism of Gammera Nest, studio that was helping both developing ang publishing the game. They were pretty much rushing the game out the door, fully knowing just how unfinished it was, and Nacho as well as well as the rest of team of animators tried by all means to communicate with Gammera Nest to try to give the game more time to polish, but it’s not that the company shut down those request, they didn’t even bother to acknowledge them. The game was basically kidnapped into stores, forced to released even tho it need more time, more work, more polish, and Gammera knew this, Nacho knew this and tried everything to make it right, but in the end it happened, and now we have a game that could have been so much more from the get go and a legal battle that it’s creator never wanted. And the saddest part about this is that it shouldn’t surprise us: Gammera Nest has a long history of poor communication, complete and insulting unprofessionalism and even intimidation; they are the team behing Spain’s PlayStation Talents, a complete joke and embarrassment of an initiative that treated indie developers like an used tissue and that made many scared to speak up about what was happening in there, and many others to outright leave the industry as a whole. It’s CEO, Daniel Sánchez, has made clear multiple times that he doesn’t see art in this industry, he sees an opportunity to make some bucks at the cost of others, and he has made sure to build the company based around the idea and as well as to spit out some completely meaningless and dumb things over the years. They had struck gold like so many times before, but refused to see anything beyond the many they could make out of this ‘’product’’, and that’s what makes me sad, what makes me mad, what makes me lament Mr. Coo’s fate…
And yet, despite this, despite the finale to this story, despite releasing broken, what Nacho and the rest of the team pulled off despite it all is worth standing up and clapping. They built the most visually crazy and interesting game I’ve seen the entire year with some really cool puzzles and made this shine despite the conditions and despite its unfair fate. They deserve all the possible respect and appreciation for their work they can receive, there really is something special under the bugs and glitches, something that shines at full force and made me both smile and laugh. The Many Pices of Mr. Coo didn’t deserve to go through all this, none in the team did, but even in the worst circumstances, is worth appreciating the good, and in this surrealist, colorful little world, there’s a ton to love.
In the multiple reviews I’ve written, in only a few of them I’ve tackled how the conditions or outside factors affected directly to the development of the game in question; I’ve always loved talking about the design processes and ideas that take place within the minds of developers during the making of a work and how this impacted the game or in some cases the whole industry as a whole, but when it comes to talking about what actually happened behind the curtain, the only times I’ve really done that were in my Journey, Sticker Star and Sonic Adventure reviews. And it's not that these kinds of tales are uncommon, I don’t think I have to tell you how sadly this pattern of difficult conditions is something that is as common as the sunset, time and time again it happens and time and time again it fucking sucks, and the only reason I haven’t talked about it as much it’s either because it luckily didn’t happen in many of the games I’ve written about or I didn’t see fit to mention it (or in some other it may be the case that developers haven’t even spoken about it). Games are still a form of art and they will always be that, and it just happens that in the way I review art I try to focus on the final product and the impact it has or may have had, and the reason I’m saying all of this it’s because for me to talk about The Many Pieces of Mr.Coo in any meaningful way, it’s imperative that I mention everything that happened before and after its release, ‘cause it’s one of those cases were both the game itself.
When looking at Mr. Coo’s little adventure purely on its own, without knowing anything else, talking about is pretty straightforward: It’s a visual delight in every single way possible; the work put to create the animations that give life to the characters and backgrounds that make up the scenery of this funny and dark surrealist world is beyond commendable. I’m kinda liking this accidental tradition of playing one surrealist adventure game per year, because the result is always so special; The Many Pieces of Mr.Coo has charm and creativity oozing from every possible angle, it’s a nonstop barrage of absurdism that works incredibly well, and not only it does serve to produce jaw-dropping visuals and a blend of styles that doesn’t feel jarring in the slightest, it also creates an amazing collection of puzzles that are as crazy as the game itself. Some of this are perhaps a little too weird and fall in that same Same & Max paradox in which it becomes sometimes impossible to really figure out what you need to do next, tho in this case the hint system helps a ton, and it incentivizes trying to think of the solution before using it, and sometimes some hints still require some stuff to figure out that are much more manageable. During two thirds of the total chapters, it’s a joy to play, a little fun adventure that’s displays some insanely good visuals and fun challenges…. But then the last batch of sections happens. It’s not that it gets worse, as in these final moments we still see some really cool ideas in both visuals and puzzling, rather, it’s like witnessing a plane crashing down as it tries to land in the airport because suddenly every machine possible decided to break down.
Even almost three months after its initial release, these final sections are plagued with bugs and glitches that completely break the game. This is no simple minor issue which I’d usually ignore, this are glaring problems that either break your immersion (like Coo’s legs just casually walking below the background or the click register sometimes being completely broken) or straight-up break the entire game, forcing you to quit and restart from the beginning of the section, and keep in mind that we have that luxury only now, when it first released there was no saving system, so if it the game made it impossible to progress because it decided to.. have fun starting from the very beginning! These problems come together in the final challenge, one that on paper was very interesting and fun, but in practice feels sloppy, unfairly hard and has the risk or completely breaking in a certain point, all culminating in that ending… oh god the ending… One thing is to have such an cliffhanger after a finale that was seemingly crumbling down, and another thing is to tell you to replay the game to get 100 sloppily put and hard to get collectables to get a secret ending that amounts to nothing, it really takes some cojones to make people feel like they completely lost their time. And the worst part about all of this, the single part about the whole game and the whole third act, it’s that it wasn’t gonna be this way, but it was forced to be released broken beyond repair.
Creative director Nacho Rodríguez hasn’t been shy about the sheer incompetence and unprofessionalism of Gammera Nest, studio that was helping both developing ang publishing the game. They were pretty much rushing the game out the door, fully knowing just how unfinished it was, and Nacho as well as well as the rest of team of animators tried by all means to communicate with Gammera Nest to try to give the game more time to polish, but it’s not that the company shut down those request, they didn’t even bother to acknowledge them. The game was basically kidnapped into stores, forced to released even tho it need more time, more work, more polish, and Gammera knew this, Nacho knew this and tried everything to make it right, but in the end it happened, and now we have a game that could have been so much more from the get go and a legal battle that it’s creator never wanted. And the saddest part about this is that it shouldn’t surprise us: Gammera Nest has a long history of poor communication, complete and insulting unprofessionalism and even intimidation; they are the team behing Spain’s PlayStation Talents, a complete joke and embarrassment of an initiative that treated indie developers like an used tissue and that made many scared to speak up about what was happening in there, and many others to outright leave the industry as a whole. It’s CEO, Daniel Sánchez, has made clear multiple times that he doesn’t see art in this industry, he sees an opportunity to make some bucks at the cost of others, and he has made sure to build the company based around the idea and as well as to spit out some completely meaningless and dumb things over the years. They had struck gold like so many times before, but refused to see anything beyond the many they could make out of this ‘’product’’, and that’s what makes me sad, what makes me mad, what makes me lament Mr. Coo’s fate…
And yet, despite this, despite the finale to this story, despite releasing broken, what Nacho and the rest of the team pulled off despite it all is worth standing up and clapping. They built the most visually crazy and interesting game I’ve seen the entire year with some really cool puzzles and made this shine despite the conditions and despite its unfair fate. They deserve all the possible respect and appreciation for their work they can receive, there really is something special under the bugs and glitches, something that shines at full force and made me both smile and laugh. The Many Pices of Mr. Coo didn’t deserve to go through all this, none in the team did, but even in the worst circumstances, is worth appreciating the good, and in this surrealist, colorful little world, there’s a ton to love.
1992
Yeah, that's right, I played this on the Sega Genesis Classics emulator on steam, I nabbed it when they gave it away for free some years ago. Sega thought it was being clever when it removed the Sonic games so we would buy Origins, well, who is laughing now, SEGA?!... Now please let me buy Rocket Knight Adventure pleasepleasepleaseplease pretty please.
Ah, Sonic, the one and only! I really liked him when I was younger, and I mean, look at the guy: it's blue, has legs, what's there not to love? I remember being really fixated over this guy for a while, even more than Mario... and then I played the games. I honestly couldn't even tell you if they were even bad, mainly 'cause I never got far 'cause man do I SUCK at those games. No matter if it's 3D or 2D, then or now, I'm extremely bad at them and I really couldn't tell you why, guess it's one of my two curses, the other one being bad grammar. To this day the only Sonic games I've played till the end are Generations and Mania, but even tho I really liked the latter it didn't really made me better at them at all; after beating it I tried time and time again getting into the classic ones, but I just kept dropping them 'cause, again, I just felt I wasn't good enough, that something wasn't clicking. Finally beating Sonic 2 so long after my first attempt was an eye-opener, 'cause while I still consider myself really bad at this games, I also noticed the core design issues that make this experience sometimes a chore to go through.
And it's a shame, because Sonic the Hedgehog 2 has so many good elements that the first impression it leaves is always good! The game is beautiful from start to finish, everything looks incredibly well and far more interesting and stylized than many other 16-bit games. The colors pop out, the enemy and zone design are extremely creative and iconic, and the music... is a bit mixed actually, there are some themes here and there that are noticeable worse than others and don't sound that good, but believe me, when Sonic 2's music is good, IT'S FUCKING FANTASTIC. When it comes to presentation, the game doesn't shy away from going all out, even if that does mean that sometimes there can be a bit of slow-down when you have a lot of rings a get hit, but aside from that, and some graphical glitches that I don't know if they are a problem with the emulator or the game itself, in what respects looks, Sonic 2 absolutely shines.
And at a first contact, it looks like it shines in the gameplay department too! The first zone, Emerald Hill is amazing, it teaches you everything you need to know about the game's dependance on momentum and going as fast as possible, the multiple secrets and ways you can traverse the level, introducing some basic enemies from which future ones will expand upon and be more aggressive, etc. And all of this is... fun! It's really fun! I found myself really enjoying both of the acts of the first zone, and when arriving at Chemical Plant Zone, the first act was even more fun, introducing brand new elements that made the level far more interesting and most importantly: helped you go fast and overcome challenges in a far more agile and interesting way... and then Act 2 happened.
I... what the hell happened here? Don't get me wrong, it's far from being horrible, but many of the design decisions I simply don't understand that the game will carry onwards are present here: It simply won't let you go fast ... WHICH IS THE MECHANICN THE ENTIRE GAME IS SUPOSSED TO BE BASED AROUND. From here onwards, there are a ton of sections where the games into a precision-oriented platformer and... it just doesn't work. Sonic feels slippery, as it should! The idea is that he is supposed to go fast, and what slipperiness and imprecision when it goes slow, becomes a crucial key when it achieves incredible speed. So, when the game start to ask to take things more calmly and jump in a more precise way I say: ''OK! No problem, I get it, you got to break up the fast-paced levels with some down time. At least you will compensate the fact that Sonic wasn't designed for this kind of platforming with not so punishing level design, right?... right...?''
The game not only loves to keep slowing you down, but it also FUCKING ADORES to throw random shit at your direction that you just cannot react or recover from. Endless pits, random enemies or spikes, water from which you have no idea where to get out of, you name it! And this makes me specially mad because the game does have some extremely cool ideas and mechanics, and it’s not like it becomes unbearable from this point onwards, zones like the casino , Hill Top or Mystic Cave do have some fun moments and ideas throwed into them, but it just keeps tripping time and time again, not letting you do what's actually fun and unique about thus game and it seems hellbent on it. I don't want to see the final three zones of this game in my life, Metropolis Zone was boring and repetitive and drown out, Wing Fortress Zone was atrocious, and Death Egg Zone are just two bosses that aren’t that fun, and they don't give you any rings...You have to beat both battles without getting hit... YOU CAN'T EVEN USE SUPER SONIC IF YOU GET ALL THE EMERALDS IN THE FUCKING FINAL BOSS UNLESS YOU USE THE DEBUG MODE!
...ok... things got a bit heated there...
Listen, this game, as a sequel, is incredible: it's a huge upgrade in most regards, it introduces Tails and multiplayer, it introduced an incredible reward for getting the emeralds (tho getting them is absolute hell), it had actual little cinematics and it was all and all far more original and creative. And again, I did have fun, even if doesn't seem like it, but really, this game has some really good meat over its bones... but it's also full of rot. I cannot bring myself to really dislike it 'cause it isn't ''bad'' by any means, but I also didn't find myself actively enjoying it.
If you love or like this one, I'm so, so fucking happy for you and I'm so sorry I couldn't see what makes this game so special. I might be bad at Sonic, but sometimes Sonic is bad at design, and I can't look past that...
Tho I'll say I still really want to play Sonic 3, I might take a little break from Sonic before trying it, but I'll get there...
I'll get that hedgehog!
Ah, Sonic, the one and only! I really liked him when I was younger, and I mean, look at the guy: it's blue, has legs, what's there not to love? I remember being really fixated over this guy for a while, even more than Mario... and then I played the games. I honestly couldn't even tell you if they were even bad, mainly 'cause I never got far 'cause man do I SUCK at those games. No matter if it's 3D or 2D, then or now, I'm extremely bad at them and I really couldn't tell you why, guess it's one of my two curses, the other one being bad grammar. To this day the only Sonic games I've played till the end are Generations and Mania, but even tho I really liked the latter it didn't really made me better at them at all; after beating it I tried time and time again getting into the classic ones, but I just kept dropping them 'cause, again, I just felt I wasn't good enough, that something wasn't clicking. Finally beating Sonic 2 so long after my first attempt was an eye-opener, 'cause while I still consider myself really bad at this games, I also noticed the core design issues that make this experience sometimes a chore to go through.
And it's a shame, because Sonic the Hedgehog 2 has so many good elements that the first impression it leaves is always good! The game is beautiful from start to finish, everything looks incredibly well and far more interesting and stylized than many other 16-bit games. The colors pop out, the enemy and zone design are extremely creative and iconic, and the music... is a bit mixed actually, there are some themes here and there that are noticeable worse than others and don't sound that good, but believe me, when Sonic 2's music is good, IT'S FUCKING FANTASTIC. When it comes to presentation, the game doesn't shy away from going all out, even if that does mean that sometimes there can be a bit of slow-down when you have a lot of rings a get hit, but aside from that, and some graphical glitches that I don't know if they are a problem with the emulator or the game itself, in what respects looks, Sonic 2 absolutely shines.
And at a first contact, it looks like it shines in the gameplay department too! The first zone, Emerald Hill is amazing, it teaches you everything you need to know about the game's dependance on momentum and going as fast as possible, the multiple secrets and ways you can traverse the level, introducing some basic enemies from which future ones will expand upon and be more aggressive, etc. And all of this is... fun! It's really fun! I found myself really enjoying both of the acts of the first zone, and when arriving at Chemical Plant Zone, the first act was even more fun, introducing brand new elements that made the level far more interesting and most importantly: helped you go fast and overcome challenges in a far more agile and interesting way... and then Act 2 happened.
I... what the hell happened here? Don't get me wrong, it's far from being horrible, but many of the design decisions I simply don't understand that the game will carry onwards are present here: It simply won't let you go fast ... WHICH IS THE MECHANICN THE ENTIRE GAME IS SUPOSSED TO BE BASED AROUND. From here onwards, there are a ton of sections where the games into a precision-oriented platformer and... it just doesn't work. Sonic feels slippery, as it should! The idea is that he is supposed to go fast, and what slipperiness and imprecision when it goes slow, becomes a crucial key when it achieves incredible speed. So, when the game start to ask to take things more calmly and jump in a more precise way I say: ''OK! No problem, I get it, you got to break up the fast-paced levels with some down time. At least you will compensate the fact that Sonic wasn't designed for this kind of platforming with not so punishing level design, right?... right...?''
The game not only loves to keep slowing you down, but it also FUCKING ADORES to throw random shit at your direction that you just cannot react or recover from. Endless pits, random enemies or spikes, water from which you have no idea where to get out of, you name it! And this makes me specially mad because the game does have some extremely cool ideas and mechanics, and it’s not like it becomes unbearable from this point onwards, zones like the casino , Hill Top or Mystic Cave do have some fun moments and ideas throwed into them, but it just keeps tripping time and time again, not letting you do what's actually fun and unique about thus game and it seems hellbent on it. I don't want to see the final three zones of this game in my life, Metropolis Zone was boring and repetitive and drown out, Wing Fortress Zone was atrocious, and Death Egg Zone are just two bosses that aren’t that fun, and they don't give you any rings...You have to beat both battles without getting hit... YOU CAN'T EVEN USE SUPER SONIC IF YOU GET ALL THE EMERALDS IN THE FUCKING FINAL BOSS UNLESS YOU USE THE DEBUG MODE!
...ok... things got a bit heated there...
Listen, this game, as a sequel, is incredible: it's a huge upgrade in most regards, it introduces Tails and multiplayer, it introduced an incredible reward for getting the emeralds (tho getting them is absolute hell), it had actual little cinematics and it was all and all far more original and creative. And again, I did have fun, even if doesn't seem like it, but really, this game has some really good meat over its bones... but it's also full of rot. I cannot bring myself to really dislike it 'cause it isn't ''bad'' by any means, but I also didn't find myself actively enjoying it.
If you love or like this one, I'm so, so fucking happy for you and I'm so sorry I couldn't see what makes this game so special. I might be bad at Sonic, but sometimes Sonic is bad at design, and I can't look past that...
Tho I'll say I still really want to play Sonic 3, I might take a little break from Sonic before trying it, but I'll get there...
I'll get that hedgehog!
You know… I’ve passed on the opportunity to play the Game of the Week basically every time for no apparent reason, despite the ones selected usually being exceptional games and sometimes very easily obtainable freeware, and instead of any of those, I play Lizard Lady vs the Cats… and this is one of the reasons I sometimes look at the mirror wondering why I make the decisions I decide to do.
An overall score of 1.1 over here is one hell of a prospect, one which I don’t usually tend to gravity towards; I like to think I value my time, and I’m not that keen on spending it on absolutely despair inducing games, and so, I wasn’t planning on even nearing the general location of this game. But then something happened, a couple of people left actual positive scores and reviews talking about this one, and I couldn’t believe it, mainly because… I mean… look at it-BUT STILL, that did spark my attention. Maybe once again I judged a book by its cover too early, maybe there’s actually something to enjoy here, perhaps it’s a hidden gem! And so, yeah, who am I to say no to a work? After all, they always have something to say, and this looking like it could actually hold more value than I thought of at first, why not at least give it a try? Worst case scenario, it sucks but at least get an interesting experience out of it, so yeah! Let’s go! I did it! I played it! I beat it! I beat *Lizard Lady vs the Cats! And What did I get out of it?!
…nothing. Absolutely nothing. The silence of the void deafens my ears. The abyss beckons and looks back upon me its laughs echoing through nothingness. I keep staring at it in search of an answer. I get nothing in return.
It’s not that terrible of a game, nor is it a particularly competent one. It works and functions well enough, and there aren’t any specially jarring design decisions that make this an absolute horrendous experience, but that’s not because it does something good in return, it because it doesn’t do… nothing in general. That isn’t to say that it doesn’t screw up badly: it doesn’t really have an art-style as much as filter applied over all the models and scenarios, one that doesn’t take into account shadows and doesn’t seem that interested in being visible, which isn’t even that excessive or heinous to even be funny. The shooting and combat feel like if someone that never even touched and FPS in their lives tried to make one in all the worst ways; the camera is ASS and the enemies hitboxes are small as a toothpick, you do get seemingly infinite range in return, but it doesn’t do much when aiming is so incredibly painful and the level design is a bunch of corridors and mazes with zero thought that I’ve already forgot about as I wrote this. Honestly, I would complain about this more, but it’s not like the game is difficult or frustrating enough for me to even care, it’s just…nothing. It doesn’t even work as a joke game, ‘cause it isn’t neither funny nor does it commit in being utterly awful, but it also doesn’t work as a more serious one since the most ‘’interesting’’ (and I’m using that word very loosely) part of its story is represented through a infinite-score mode of a game which’s gameplay puts me to sleep. I genuinely don’t know which of the two this game was trying to be, because it fails at being either of the two, and it also doesn’t feel like it does enough to do a commentary on the little it has or is.
Do I sound mad or angry? Because I’m really not, but maybe I’m sounding too… condescending may be the right word, and I apologize if that’s the case, it’s just… what more can I say? I can’t even make a joke like ‘’this looks like it was made in Dreams’’ because that would be a huge disrespect to the amazing games made in there, and again, not because this is horrible, it’s because is… NOTHING!
The last game I talked about made some things choppy or clunky for the sake of its vision and I really appreciated, and maybe I would appreciate this game in a similar way if I managed to see what the hell was its vision in the first place. This is dumb, but not the type of dumb that knows it and makes some kind of statement or commentary about it, it just… exist, floating forever in the void, and I could have used the 25 minutes I spent on beating it on watching paint dry and nothing of value would have been lost, aside of the opportunity of writing a review which is always fun. So yeah, congratulations, Lady Lizard vs the Cats, playing you gave me the opportunity to write about how empty of an experience you were.
Maybe there’s something I’m losing here, maybe I’, just thinking too much about it and I shouldn’t be talking about it this much; maybe I was filtered, maybe I do not get something, maybe this is truly awful and I’m being soft, I don’t know about all that, ‘cause I didn’t get enough out of this to even come close to getting any of those conclusion.
Anyway 10/10 only because of the way the melee enemies were animated, that was the only part of the game that actually made me smirk in some capacity.
An overall score of 1.1 over here is one hell of a prospect, one which I don’t usually tend to gravity towards; I like to think I value my time, and I’m not that keen on spending it on absolutely despair inducing games, and so, I wasn’t planning on even nearing the general location of this game. But then something happened, a couple of people left actual positive scores and reviews talking about this one, and I couldn’t believe it, mainly because… I mean… look at it-BUT STILL, that did spark my attention. Maybe once again I judged a book by its cover too early, maybe there’s actually something to enjoy here, perhaps it’s a hidden gem! And so, yeah, who am I to say no to a work? After all, they always have something to say, and this looking like it could actually hold more value than I thought of at first, why not at least give it a try? Worst case scenario, it sucks but at least get an interesting experience out of it, so yeah! Let’s go! I did it! I played it! I beat it! I beat *Lizard Lady vs the Cats! And What did I get out of it?!
…nothing. Absolutely nothing. The silence of the void deafens my ears. The abyss beckons and looks back upon me its laughs echoing through nothingness. I keep staring at it in search of an answer. I get nothing in return.
It’s not that terrible of a game, nor is it a particularly competent one. It works and functions well enough, and there aren’t any specially jarring design decisions that make this an absolute horrendous experience, but that’s not because it does something good in return, it because it doesn’t do… nothing in general. That isn’t to say that it doesn’t screw up badly: it doesn’t really have an art-style as much as filter applied over all the models and scenarios, one that doesn’t take into account shadows and doesn’t seem that interested in being visible, which isn’t even that excessive or heinous to even be funny. The shooting and combat feel like if someone that never even touched and FPS in their lives tried to make one in all the worst ways; the camera is ASS and the enemies hitboxes are small as a toothpick, you do get seemingly infinite range in return, but it doesn’t do much when aiming is so incredibly painful and the level design is a bunch of corridors and mazes with zero thought that I’ve already forgot about as I wrote this. Honestly, I would complain about this more, but it’s not like the game is difficult or frustrating enough for me to even care, it’s just…nothing. It doesn’t even work as a joke game, ‘cause it isn’t neither funny nor does it commit in being utterly awful, but it also doesn’t work as a more serious one since the most ‘’interesting’’ (and I’m using that word very loosely) part of its story is represented through a infinite-score mode of a game which’s gameplay puts me to sleep. I genuinely don’t know which of the two this game was trying to be, because it fails at being either of the two, and it also doesn’t feel like it does enough to do a commentary on the little it has or is.
Do I sound mad or angry? Because I’m really not, but maybe I’m sounding too… condescending may be the right word, and I apologize if that’s the case, it’s just… what more can I say? I can’t even make a joke like ‘’this looks like it was made in Dreams’’ because that would be a huge disrespect to the amazing games made in there, and again, not because this is horrible, it’s because is… NOTHING!
The last game I talked about made some things choppy or clunky for the sake of its vision and I really appreciated, and maybe I would appreciate this game in a similar way if I managed to see what the hell was its vision in the first place. This is dumb, but not the type of dumb that knows it and makes some kind of statement or commentary about it, it just… exist, floating forever in the void, and I could have used the 25 minutes I spent on beating it on watching paint dry and nothing of value would have been lost, aside of the opportunity of writing a review which is always fun. So yeah, congratulations, Lady Lizard vs the Cats, playing you gave me the opportunity to write about how empty of an experience you were.
Maybe there’s something I’m losing here, maybe I’, just thinking too much about it and I shouldn’t be talking about it this much; maybe I was filtered, maybe I do not get something, maybe this is truly awful and I’m being soft, I don’t know about all that, ‘cause I didn’t get enough out of this to even come close to getting any of those conclusion.
Anyway 10/10 only because of the way the melee enemies were animated, that was the only part of the game that actually made me smirk in some capacity.