The game being as flabbergasted at the fact 18-Volt is a nine year old as much as I was probably one of the most hilarious part of a game that quite literally made me smile and laugh every single moment I was playing it.

When making a game which its main premise is that it re-uses content from past entries, developers are faced when simple yet ever-present question: ''How in the all living hell do we make this worth it?''. Nostalgia and getting to re-experience past games or parts of them in brand new systems can be cool incentives, but I'd be hard-pressed to say they are strong ones; the content by itself it's nothing new, so why would we, as players, be interested on not only re-experiencing content that we have already played, but also pay for it?... Well, turns out WarioWare Gold found an answer, a trick...


The trick of haVING JIMMY T. ON THE GAME WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LET'S-A FUCKING GOO, GETTIN' FIT AND FUNKY BABY!

The decision of playing the rest of the series beforehand was one of the best I could have ever made, because what would still be a fantastic game into an even more impressive one; even if a majority of WarioWare Gold is stuff we have already seen, it manages to make it feel new thanks to a collection of elements that span the entirety of the series plus a new barrage of brand-new content. Gold is the best celebration the series could have ever hoped for: 316 micro-games are nothing scoff at, overpassing even Twisted and its almost 230 fast paced minigames, but as I said before, most of these are micro-games already seen in previous entries, including twisted, so what makes this number shouldn't be so special... but then you see the selection, and then realize this is pure FIRE. Because there was so much to choose from, they picked the best and ONLY the best minigames on the entire series; in the past, with maybe the exception of Twisted there were a few amount of stinkers that were clearly lacking in quality compared to others, and even tho they only lasted a few seconds, in a game so fast paced as WarioWare that still leaves a huge impression. Not anymore: every single one if the crème de la crème, even the new ones, and so everyone may not be here, but that doesn't matter 'cause the best sure are. It even has a Rhythm Heaven minigame thrown in there, you can't make this up! That isn't even going into the Challenges, where we find the expected but always welcomed micro-game towers, plus some new stuff like the fantastic Wario Interrupts, but most of all, the return of Wario Watch and Sneaky Gamer, the former my favorite mode in ANY of the previous games and the latter being the best part of Game & Wario, and after playing, I completely understand why. Now that I think about it, the only games that might not get any kind of representation are Snapped and D.I.Y, which makes sense, one is a departure from the series focused on creating the games, and the other one is... well, is WarioWare Snapped. The rest tho? All gameplay styles come back, even the microphone, and the one game you expect to not see, Smooth Moves actually has a ton of representation, with a couple of minigames being adapted to be controlled in the twisted section; if you think about a thing of the series which there is a way it could be implemented here, then it is implemented here, and that effort for consistency is commendable.

Now, I know I said at the beginning that Gold was more than a simple collection… to then proceed to list things that are returning, but as I also said, is how it manages that returning stuff plus the never seen content what makes it so special, and regarding that new content… Am I the only one that loves how this game handles humor? Like, I adored how past games handled story and humor: as the gameplay itself, it’s pure chaos, incredibly light of dialogue and centered around the bat-shit insanity that plagues everyone. Gold takes a different approach, not only having a pretty more involved story, but actual dialogue, like, REALLY good dialogue; the jokes and on point, and even when some cut-scenes are longer than in previous games, it truly doesn’t feel like it like it did in Touched; it’s still fast-paced and entertaining, only now with sublime voiceovers (in fact the Spanish translation and dubbing is also pretty phenomenal) and mini-stories that are as crazy as ever, only now they connect to the Wario and Lulu cinematics, which, I know that Wario is loved by everyone, including me, but here, his mannerism, his voice-over, his interactions with Lulu and the cast, the way he simply IS, this is by far the best iteration of the character in not only the WarioWare series, but in the entirety of the Mario series as a whole, I love this greedy bastard to death and love him to see him be as dastardly as much to see him fail, they just nailed him here. And that sentiment goes for everyone else, character shine like never before and whereas in the past I only really care about Jimmy T. and maybe Orbulon, I now adore this group of weirdos in a way I didn’t really see coming, like, this game made me like Fronk and fucking Joe, how do you even accomplish that?! This, with the more non linear game you can tackle the different leagues and how Diamond City is shown, makes it one of the most different WarioWare games by far, but every change introduced makes sense and it’s welcomed, and other new additions, like the missions and the store, on top of ALL the other stuff, like small side content like the extra minigames (which includes a Pyoro one and I for one I’m the happiest person on earth right now) and the ability to dub the cutscenes… yeah, this might just be the biggest package in the entirety of the series while also being the most fun by a landslide.

I knew I was gonna have fun, but MAN did this game make me happy; it made me feel rewarded for investing my time into this already amazing series, a love letter that even if released 1 year after the switch launched and doesn’t have a 3D option, I kind of really like that it’s on the 3DS? It still feels right a home, and hey, having two screens makes it possible to play Sneaky Gamer, so on that alone makes it worth it.

To me, Gold is the single best experience in the franchise, Twisted is to this day the best out the full-blown original games, but Gold fills me with such joy, is so fun, so consistently fucking amazing in almost every way, that I cannot for the life of me say it’s not my preferred game. I’m so glad I got to play this series in its entirety, and I’m so happy this is the send-off, or at least until Move It! releases, but until then, we found Wario peak…


…and you know, I could finish this review off with yet another Wario-related joke, but you know what? Nah, I’m good. For once, let the final note be how unironically great Wario is, and how this silly greedy garlic enjoyer, his crew and his dumb ass minigames can be so fantastic… holy hell, what a great franchise…

There’s a boldness in trying to stand toe to toe alongside the giants; Portal Revolution caught my attention the very moment I saw its trailer last year, and since then I’ve had my eye on it till the day on its release, and I got it easy, think about the people that were there from the beginning! Revolution has been in development for 8 years, a crazy amount of time for any game, let alone one made by fans a s a way to celebrate the series, tho in this case it makes sense when you really think about its intentions.

The most known and popular Portal and Portal 2 mods are all test chamber centered, by that I mean they don’t really venture in the aspects of the series aside of expanding on the puzzles; this is nor a jab nor a complaint in the slightest, in fact some innovate with the original concept in genius ways, and plus, it’s completely expected for them to shy away from the narrative department except for maybe a nod or two, because creating a new story in your fun little mod would be inserting yourself within Portal’s narrative, something not many would even consider as a possibility to do, because, how could they even attempt it?

The thing about Portal Revolution is that it does, it does not want to limit itself to just be a succession of puzzles one after the other, it wants to go further beyond that, it was to surprise you with its presentation and sequences beyond normal gameplay, it wants to have its own voice, one that can fit right with other two. And, listen, I’m not trying to imply or make a statement about how both of the Portal games’ narratives are unparalleled or a master class is videogame narrative —even if few games can say they have the ‘’part where he kills you’’—, they really aren’t the most impactful narratives in all of gaming, but what they are is both well executed and managing to feel important, especially in the first one, where the story melds perfectly with the gameplay, rather than being at the service of it and just an excuse for why are you shooting portals and going though puzzles. Portal is not simply a great series, it’s an excellent duology whose story is pretty much told and its gameplay basically perfected, and trying to add onto that is a herculean task that I don’t blame Valve for not wanting to take.

But Revolution doesn’t even come from Valve, it’s from a group of fans that really love the series and wanted to face all of this dilemmas, which is an even more scary prospect at that, because ironically enough, those that unabashedly love a certain work are the most prompt to make mistakes that those that recognize its successes as well as the flaws, and it’s through that mixture of both undying love for the originals and fear at failing to be lesser than them… that you get Revolution’s story line.

Stop me if you heard this before: a story about a woman is woken up by an orb-shaped hysteric robot in a room part of a giant infrastructure that is decaying and falling down with the promise of getting out if you help him, only for halfway through the adventure getting thrown into depths of the oldest parts of the facility traversing through its older and abandoned test chambers seeking to reach the top and becoming allies with another robot whose conscience was once part of a human, and reaching the original facility that’s now at the risk of collapsing because of the true intentions of the first robot you met and you and your new companion have to stop him to save the entire building and yourselves… also one of them may or may not have a British accent. First of all, wow, I’m surprised you didn’t stopped me, you sure you have played the original series before? And secondly… yeah, the game practically follows beat by beat Portal 2’s narrative, specially half-way through. It’s a real shame that hits doubly hard because even when these similarities where present from the very start, at first they felt more like interesting and even warranted parallelisms than anything else; there were a set of key differences that kept thing pretty exciting and that made this felt like a worthwhile pre-quel, one that isn’t necessary to get the story at full, but one that makes sense withing this world and this narrative, but then you encounter your first ‘’broken bridge’’, and you realize that this games that follows its inspiration even more than it seemed. Listen, I really like Portal 2… but not as much as the original Portal, not by a long shot; and it isn’t because it has a more expansive narrative, but because, unlike I said about its predecessor, it doesn’t feel like the story and gameplay work together, but instead that the story is constantly trying to find weird ways to throw you into puzzles; either by GlaDOS putting you through them because reasons I guess, Wheatley doing the same because… reasons, I guess, and then there’s Old Aperture, or as I like to call it, ‘’J.K. Simmons’ nonsensical puzzle hell’’. These moments aren’t enough to poison me in the slightest, but they represent a intrinsically problem with Portal 2’s design and how it messes with its own pace… and then Portal Revolution looks at it and says ‘’Wouldn’t be cool if I also did it? Yeah, it’d be pretty cool…’’

Roadblocks that just sorta… happen, diversions that don’t make any sense (fun fact, a chapter is fact named around said diversion!), and we even get to return to old Aperture for a much more random and nonsensical reason than ever before! It’s a moment that just happens because I guess it was cool in Portal 2 and hey, we gotta make you meet this important character and have two extra chapters before the finale somehow! At some point it just starts going through the motions and never stops from there, and I have to say, it certainly managed to remind me of Portal 2, but I’m not sure if it was for the reasons the team wanted. No joke, at some point a character just throws you into a chamber and says ‘’Well, you have to do this puzzle, why you ask?... Idk LMAO’’ and at first was pretty cute, but that moment definitively soured when the game said the same thing like another 5 times.

The roots of this insecurity also reach the dialogue a bit; I want go on a tangent for a second and praise the amazing work both VA’s put into their role and the effort behind the screenplay, everyone on board clearly wanted to make this as close to a official Portal experience it could get, and the professionality of both voice actors on their roles fits what you would say in an official game to a tea, and dialogue for the most part feels genuine and got a few smiles out of me!... However, there are still some weird oddities here and there; things like names like Black Mesa or Borealis thrown around just for fans to catch the reference instead to doing a meaningful connection or joke like in the originals, but worst of all is what they did to poor Stirling. I really liked the guy at first! Loved his introduction as a kind of more upbeat amicable GLaDOS that serves the same purpose as Wheatley, and I really enjoyed his attempts at comedy and impressions, but after a while, all of his character is… gone, and by the end of the game we are left with what I could only described as a ‘’Poor-man’s Wheatley’’. Also it has certain lines like ‘’It’s time we bring her back, isn’t it?’’ that made me roll my eyes so hard they went numb, I don’t know how else to describe it except by saying that. The second character is actually super cool tho! Don’t want to get much into spoiler territory concerning them since it’s introduced late into the adventure, but it’s super unique personality wise with what we’ve come to expect in this series but it fits naturally into the series mythos like a glove, I don’t mean it as a joke when I say I wished they were official and got even more screen time.

There seems to be this idea of ‘’If you want to make it again, you have to make it grander’’ that Portal 2 subconsciously introduced and that Revolution just decides to go on with for despite its own detriment: it never reaches the genius simplicity of the original, but also never manages the same level of wonder and surprise of Portal 2 setting wise, it’s stuck in this middle-valley, sandwiched between a monument of a game and another monument of a game, seemingly having nothing to compete with neither or lacking anything new to offer…seemingly.

Stefan Heinz, main developer behind Portal: Revolution, has stated that Portal: Revolution’s puzzle difficulty starts where Portal 2 stops, something that can be read on the game’s own Steam page, and while there’s truth in those words, when reading it you may arrive to the conclusion that it picks up from where it let off and completely expects you to have played the previous games, and even tho of course the fact that you’d play the original duology is the more sensical thing, Revolution acts as if it were a completely independent entry, and it does it with a mastery that simply awed me, and it never stopped from there. It slowly teaches you the basics little by little, and from there its uses them to unimaginable potentials; I never thought so much could be done being able to only shoot one portal, but Revolution shatters that conception and goes completely wild with it. I had so much fun in this chambers, so much joy experimenting until finally finding the insane solution, thinking outside the box in ways I could only expect from the original series and going even beyond that, using the ‘’going out of bounds’’ idea and never looking back, taking everything that was established and reaching new heights, presenting old concepts in a new life, and even introducing its own ideas like with the laser cubes, but it never gets stale, every idea and set of puzzles is used until it can’t give anything more, at which point it jumps onto next. I find the words to describe how amazingly these are designed complicated, not all are bangers, but most are, and it’s not just because they tried to make harder puzzles, it’s because they made puzzle that feel novel and creative. Also resolving them while the original compositions sound in the background is incredible, I linked one before and I really mean it, the new songs are all amazing.

But Portal Revolution is not just a collection of test chambers, it tries to be more than that, capping things off with a final boss fight, once that forces to repeat segments, that doesn’t pose much of a spectacle, and that feels derivative story-wise… honestly it’s sad to see how it perfectly fits the rest of the game’s story…Revolution wanted to be a lot, and calling it a failure is both a lie and a disservice, the fact this is even real is worth of praise, and the moments where it shines and where it’s puzzles really hit, it achieves peaks that face the originals, and I’d say in some cases even surpasses them, and that alone makes it worth a recommendation! If only it was more consistent in that regard, instead, I leave wishing it wasn’t so scared, that it didn’t love Portal 2 so much, that it kept innovating, that it yearned to be even more unique, because at the end, that’s the true spirit of Portal.

Also, the finale is really weird, aside of the kind of jarring final boss, it doesn’t feel like there’s a proper ending it just sorta—

If I were to take FEZ at face value, then my thoughts would be pretty brief: it’s a damn good puzzle-platformer game with a hella strong core, taking a 2D interconnected world and twisting it and turning it to achieve greater heights. It’s never particularly difficult or challenging, but it’s fun; reaching new areas is intriguing, and getting the cubes is ultra satisfying, and in a way, I’m kinda glad it never tries to have really hard sections or some sort of final challenge, because even tho I’m sure that’d be cool, and I would really love to see this dimension-shifting mechanic taken up a notch, I also think the way that it is makes the world feel much more organic than it otherwise would, and sells the idea that this is an experience more about the act of exploring than traversing perilous sections.

However, taking FEZ at face value is impossible, or at least it is for me. FEZ is the jumps and beautiful sounds and sights of its adorable ruined worlds as much as it is the secrets that lie within.

I have talked about my fascination with the ancient world and the mysticism and desire to learn that comes with simply witnessing it, whether it is the remnants of a bygone civilization or the remains of an animal that walked the earth hundreds of millions of nights ago. FEZ has a ton of the former and not much of the latter, but what it shares with both of those is that feeling.

The feeling of stumbling upon something you shouldn’t even be able to understand, of seeing the carvings in the wall and the very code that holds reality together and finding answers behind it—it’s satisfying to beat a platforming challenge and get to a chest with a key in it, but it’s equally, if not even more fulfilling, to fit pieces of the puzzle hidden yet in plain sight.

Spirals of purple marble endlessly repeating, secrets to be revealed by feathered friends or written outside of the game itself, tongues that can be completely translated, and moments like what happened to me where I solved a puzzle by complete chance by just fucking around moving some blocks; connecting the deepest secrets of the world through the addition of the Anti-Cubes alone was an amazing decision. Even after pulling apart layers on top of layers to get some of them, I still feel I’ve barely scratched the surface of what’s in here, what can be found, like an excavation that just has begun.

Every step is a new discovery, and making it to each of the main hub worlds opens a new horizon, from the oldest depths to the stormiest peaks, and it’s all so… tranquil. The wonderful, beautiful pixel art mixed with the outstanding OST, it compels you to keep going, to see juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust a lil’ more, to keep going a bit further, only to be met with a teleporter, going back to the hub, and repeating that process over and over again. It says a lot when, in the year 2024, a game that uses QR codes or 4th wall breaks to solve puzzles doesn’t make me groan; on the contrary, in fact, it manages to fit into that secret uncovering process tremendously well.

There are pieces that don’t quite fit: the fact that quite a few of those more hidden puzzles end up being a combination of LT and LR inputs is a bit disappointing and misses the mark on what other Anit-Cube quests accomplish so well, and there’s some even weirder stuff like annoying void squares that appear randomly and aren’t anything more than a dumb annoyance or how entering doors may just crash to desktop randomly, which isn’t part of the experience, mind you, and it takes you completely out of it sometimes. It only happened once to me, but this being a problem present years later is a bit disappointing, to be honest.

It's a cube quest that a few times can be a little disappointing or frustrating, but that’s something I can easily look past when the rest of it is so stellar that the act of opening doors is the most exciting fucking thing ever. It invites to wonder and imagine, and there’s so much to be solved and found that, after hitting credits, I feel like the exploration can go even further…  Oh, and also, Gomez’s design and name is the best fucking thing ever and there’s no contest, the most basic-ass lil white dude and I love it, look at his smile!

Adventure is out there, and it carries mysteries with it, it’s about time someone solves them.

It's finally time for Mario to face his biggest enemy yet; not Bowser, not Bowser Jr., not the camera, not even the slopes... but the legal system.

Super Mario Sunshine is weird, yeah I know, what a daring statement, but I’m not referring about its presentation and ambience, I’m talking about how it manages to be an amazing and incredibly fun platformer that I would even go as far to say that holds in store some of the best parts in any 3D Mario period… and an absolute mess of a game with glaring flaws in both pacing and design that make it at various points flat out infuriating, frustrating and tedious. I’m baffled at how they screw up in some areas, ‘cause I really cannot stress enough how much of a home run is the good stuff in here.

Delfino Island and its locales amount to what it’s perhaps the best assortment of levels out of any Mario game, at least thematically that is. Peach’s Castle in 64 was a pretty good main hub, and the rest of the series followed suite and they all have fantastic central areas that hold up very well in their own regards (except Odyssey I guess, mainly ‘cause it really doesn’t have one), but none of them hold the candle to Delfino Plaza; not only it’s a fantastic starting point full of secrets and side-quests and a playground to experiment with the mechanics and F.L.U.D.D. as well as very neat introduction to the whole concept of shines and how the isle operates, but it also feels like central area, one where, even if you still have to use paintings and pipes to get to the levels, everything feels interconnected naturally. Being able to see other places from certain levels or the Delfino Plaza itself helps a lot on this regard, but what sells it all it’s how every place works together to form a strong thematic feeling; Mario games aren’t really that into having a particular theme, the only other exception maybe being Galaxy with its space setting, but Sunshine is just on a whole another world: the playful and whimsical nature of Pinna Park, the striking sunset and seemingly endless hotel rooms of Sirena Beach, the ancient and massive looks of Noki Bay… The concept of platforming across the different places in a tropical island was already good, but Sunshine uses this idea and takes it to its fullest potential. With the exception of maybe Pianta Village which fills a tad artificial and purely focused on the platforming challenges, every single one of the main areas are real places in which the inhabitants live or the tourists go visit or have fun, and it just so happens that they are fantastic places do some platforming; of course I’m not saying that there aren’t parts that don’t feel gamified, in fact there are a lot of subareas that are completely obstacle-course focused (we will get to those later), but in the moment to moment gameplay this immersion is only matched by a few other platformers, it’s creativeness it’s only paralleled by the joy-filled sounds and soundtrack, how well these places are designed and how fun it is to traverse them… ‘cause yeah I actually adore the movement and platforming in this game AND I SHALL DIE ON THIS HILL.

It's honestly shocking how despite limiting Mario’s base movement compared to the last entry and putting a focus on vertical movement, Super Mario Sunshine lends itself to be a joy to control using all the capabilities at your disposal to the maximum and being a ton of fun… or at least 50% of the game does… again, we will get to that later. F.L.U.D.D is obviously the star of the show; it’s completely unexpected and bonkers to focus the sequel to motherfucking Super Mario 64 on water and how to use it as a movement tool, but despite only being able to do a handful of things, this water tank trumpet looking-ass is a game changer. The squirt nozzle is a great way to expand of combat and making boss fights WAYYYYYYYYYY more interesting than they ever were, but it’s with the hover nozzle that the game goes insane; hovering in itself is a super cool ability, but in this game not only is mandatory to use it for certain sections, not only it is highly convenient and a life saver in multiple instances, it is what gives you the chance to break entire missions in half, having this tool makes you think outside the box and a ton of the fun of the game comes exactly from that. The missions themselves are also mostly fun (emphasis on mostly), some offer really cool platforming challenges as I said, but a ton of the levels do actual story progression within each of them, having small narratives that advance as you complete chapters and gain shines; it’s a really compelling way both gameplay and story wise to make me just keep playing chapters aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Shadow Mario stole F.L.U.D.D. … Uh-oh.

Yeah… the fludless levels are by far the most disliked part of the game by many, and while I do think there are some fun levels of this kind here and there… yeah no more often than not they are highly frustrating. It’s really strange to me that the developers decided for this to be such an important and mandatory part of the game considering how every single part of the experience is designed around having F.L.U.D.D., which includes the moments you don’t have the goddam thing. A lot of people say that it feels like Mario’s shoes are slippery or on soap, but I think that’s not exactly the problem: again, I think Mario itself controls pretty well, it’s move set is focused on verticality yeah, but by itself there’s not much problem with it… until you can’t hover, and that’s when you realize the physics on this game are atrocious. I swear whoever designed these sub-areas must have had a terrible day, not only there are some almost mean design aspects that make them overly difficult, but if Mario as much as touches a slope, that plumber is already dead. And ignoring the almost comical aspect of Mario letting himself be stolen by Bowser Jr. MULTIPLE times, it’s terrible how some of these sub-areas connect to the main mission; some do it fine enough, but in other’s you’ll be doing a totally normal and actually fun mission to then be immediately teleported to one of these with no reason at all and suffer! Isn’t that fun?!. All of them having the exact same song and visually similar doesn’t help in the slightest, and it juts results and a bunch of stuff that you really don’t want to do… and that’s something that not only affects these obstacle-courses.

Look, Sunshine isn’t the hardest game out there, and despite me not being the most skilled player out there, I actually didn’t find parts of it as other people said they would, hell, some stuff like the sand bird or the watermelon mission I managed to do them just fine! The problem with this game isn’t that its consistently hard, more.so that is consistently annoying. Even some of the missions that I’ve been praising can be a slog, they are just not fun and repetitive, and death meaning being booted back out and having to start from the very beginning is actually evil and an huge waste of time, considering how entering a levels takes a lot more than it did in 64. It’s made even more frustrating ‘cause you’ll be presented with a very cool and original level where you have to clean a huge eel’s teeth and is super fun and challenging, only to have to do one where you have to be thrown by Piantas with 0 aiming skills or having to traverse and overly long, boring and confusing maze; there’s no middle ground, the missions are either 10 out of 10 or a torture beyond human comprehension, and a lot would be remedied if the game just was more friendly in communicating what the hell you need to do; sometimes is clear as water, others, the way to progress is at the exact opposite plaxe from where the start of the level is (fuck you too Pianta Village!).

Progression is also kinda weird; the story is weirdly fast pace, with basically no spoken dialogue or cinematics after a certain boss fight and they disappear until the ending, and the way you obtain the nozzles and Yoshi is also really weird, the nozzles are fine I guess, but it’s weird that you only really unlock them for the main hub (and I believe they would work far better as permanent upgrades) , and that they are also pretty imbalanced, the rocket is WAYYYYY more useful than the other one that I only used like two times and don’t even remember the name. Yoshi is also kinda bizarre since you need to beat a specific mission for it you unlocked, but hey, it doesn’t really matter, after all, all 7 first chapters of every single level and mandatory, so it really that big of a deal!... Wait a second WHAT.

Look, I’m fine with tying the progression with the defeats of Shadow Mario instead with the Shines themselves, that idea at a base level isn’t bad, what IS bad is that because how it is made, shines serve absolutely no purpose unless you want to get 100% completion, which actively makes the already kinda frustrating coin and blue coin MULTIPLE shines even more pointless AND this teensy-little fact is NEVER told by the game EVER. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS SUNSHINE, I WANT TO LOVE YOU SO BADLY.

Super Mario Sunshine it’s beyond flawed, and its missteps only become more and more apparent as the game goes on… but still, I have gained a huge fondness for it; at times it’s a fantastic experience, and I value it both for what it s and what it is not: it is a fantastic game with some of the best platforming in the series and incredible sense of style, and it is not just a sequel to Super Mario 64, it’s its own thing that would go on to define modern Mario and a lot of the design choices, like the pan out of the level and showing the objective and the more developed boss fights that , would go on to inspire future 3D Marios, and in that alone it has value, and plus, it’s still a damn good game. I think I’ll ponder over this one for a bit, but as of now I now clearly but even with flaws, it’s worth playing it and discover the surprises it has in store.

And now, officially, summer begins…

''Pokémon is a franchise that plays it safe'' is a statement that only gets more and more true as time goes on and the whole brand gets bigger. The card game, the mobile free-to-play ventures, an animated series and every conceivable form of merchandising under the sun; the games aren't the only major product anymore, and it could even be considered that they aren't the main ones anymore. There’re deadlines to be met and other products to coincide with, and opportunities to expand or experiment upon the stablished formula, let alone deliver a polished product, are something that now can only be considered a luxury instead of a standard.

But you most likely already knew all of this, even if you are not a fan of the series; this rather pedantic introduction is not to say something about this Pokémon age in which we are in that everyone knows, but rather how it is made all the more bizarre considering that, not so long ago, the series went through what is perhaps its most experimental and weird (in a good way) period, the ‘’DS Era’’. The mainline games, while maintaining the same core gameplay, sought revolutions in other ways beyond visual changes, most interestingly in the narrative department: the fourth generation bringing a more ‘’spiritual’’ perspective to the world of Pokémon with the exploration of myths and legends; and the fifth generation proposing an entire deconstruction of what the series stood for. Beyond personal gripes or serious problems that the games may have had (I’m looking at your direction, Diamond and Pearl!), it’s obvious that during this time there were attempts at exploring what new things Pokémon could bring to the table, and even tho Pokémon Dash or even Link! came before, and in reality this one is a GBA game as much as it is a DS one, there’s no doubt in my mind that Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team is the game that marked the first step into this Trainerschool of thought… That was my worst pun to date I’m so sorry…

There had already been a lot of spin-offs for the series like Colosseum and Snap, but Mystery Dungeon stands out for different reasons: not only does it try out a new form of gameplay, or at least new for this series, but it also puts a ton of focus on the narrative, something that the games outside of the main generational line usually stray out of, specially the handheld ones, the which at this point mainly consisted of the trading card games and… pinball. So while Blue Rescue Team is not the first Pokémon game to try out new gameplay styles or have a more involved narrative, it’s certainly the first of its kind on trying to mix and match this myriad of elements in a way none of the other spin-offs had ever even attempted, a big full-blown adventure outside of the usual catching and battling routine, and all of this is extremely important to consider, or at least it is to me, because it gives me the lenses in which to review this game; I already knew that I didn’t want to compare it to what would come after simply because it isn’t fair, and a lot of factors that would come in consideration for latter entries don’t really apply here, and I also know that I don’t want to analyze it like any other game in the series ‘cause that’s just not what it is. Blue Rescue Team, even by today and its own series standards it’s its own thing that asks for your investment and considering what it’s trying to do… and it’s all this build-up and considerations with it what makes it even more painful to say that, despite some bright spots, I can’t bring myself to ignore its faults and feel the shame of how it close comes to greatness, only to throw out most of its inspired ideas for seemingly no reason.

The Very Good Stuff

But that’s a story for the half-way mark, ‘cause when the adventure starts there are little to none complains. If this game is something, it’s charming: from the cheesy dumb quiz that will decide what Pokémon you will be to the almost manic attitude of your companion and how you both become best buddies almost immediately, it gives for a fantastic first impression of what will be a seemingly more carefree adventure, but it also has a great hook: I really wanted to know what happened that resulted in the transformation into a Pokémon and the meaning of the dreams that the main character had from time to time, and even if it takes a while, these are questions that the game will pick up in extremely interesting and compelling ways. Yes my friends, this is an isekai and I’m IN. I also couldn’t stop myself from falling in love of how this game looks and sounds; like I said, this is effectively a GBA game, and the differences with Red Rescue Team are minimal. The game doesn’t hide that it was made for a completely different system, and it has barely adapted to the newer hardware, both in the lack of updates to the non-existent use of the DS particularities like the touch screen (and the use of the upper screen is a minor convenience at best and inconsequential at worst), and even tho this should by all accounts translate into me calling it a ‘’lazy port’’… I just couldn’t care enough when everything was so good-looking and sounding as it was.

The different musical pieces are stellar, simple but catchy and wonderfully brought to the newer sound-font, it just took the title screen to win me over, like… Listen to it, listen to it and REJOICE IN THE DUMB FUN! The pixel art work is also immaculate, a ton of attention and care was put into every single tile: the Pokémon themselves and the amazing portraits representing their emotions unique to each one, the buildings with more personality than entire games, the fantastic environments, even if most are static, feel alive and pop out thanks to the amazing detail and colors. It’s joy to listen and watch this game… which it kinda need to be since most of the time is spent in otherwise very similar narrow corridors… Speaking of which…

Dungeons, More Dungeons and… You Are Never Gonna Guess It...

Dungeons!

Soooooooooooooooooooo remember when I said that the gameplay of this game was new to the Pokémon series but not exactly a brand new concept? Well, what is also not brand new is the name ‘’Mystery Dungeon’’! Even tho now it’s a name that’s almost completely associated with Pokémon, in reality it could be considered a subseries of sorts, in which they stand along several games based on Dragon Quest and even a remake of the second entry of theShiren The Wanderer series. So yeah, in reality this spin-off was born of taking a concept that originated from another spin-off from another series and putting Pokémon in it, and the result is a Pokémon Rogue-Like game!... Those bastards… Jokes and simplifications aside, the ‘’Mystery Dungeon’’ formula fits this new context EXTREMELY well; it retains a ton of the elements from the main series while still feeling organic; the type chart, the four selectable moves and the possible items all are ones that those familiarized with the series will immediately recognize, a the transition from main-line game to MD is made a lot easier by the fact, tho it’s not like it really matters. All of the systems are extremely simple and can even be simplified, like binding actions to certain commands, and while as I said the type chart is still present, it has been MASSIVELY simplified, eliminating immunities and a ton of resistances, and while knowing what type of move to use it’s still very useful in most situations, this is that type of game where you can brute force your way out of pretty much every situation with the right items and right positioning… except when you steal something Kecleon. DO NOT STEAL ANYTHING FROM KECLEON

So, on paper, everything sounds fine and dandy: we have a gameplay system that fits quite well on the context of controlling one of these capsule monsters and recruiting others and has a ton of elements from the original series plus putting a flare with its own ideas, plus the motivation for saving and helping other Pokémon makes it so the possibilities for missions are almost endless… Even if I wish they weren’t.

That simplicity that originally wasn’t that bad and even welcomed starts becoming a problem when you notice things like that the AI partners are incredibly slow and won’t ever take any kind of initiative, the death of any of the partners will prompt the immediate failure of the mission, the rewards feel lackluster at best and the game ends up almost encouraging you only accepting the missions with the best rewards DESPITE the story saying the opposite message… The systems are stretched so thin that it’s impossible to notice the broken stitches; repetition is the name of the game here, and boredom is guaranteed when you have to do the exact the exact same tasks over and over again purely for the sake of padding, and I mean it literally since many of the story sections are stitched through these pointless deviations, SPEAKING OF WHICH.

The Not So Good Stuff

What at first seems like a game that seems to mix the fun on going on to missions with a more episodic but still cohesive narrative doesn’t take too long to turn into a snail-paced adventure with more care for the spectacle than for the substance.

It drops its most interesting arc, one where you and your partner are forced to run from every single other rescue team and abandon the town and your friends, just before it can have a proper conclusion, depriving us from a proper final confrontation from what it seems like a logical final battle, but hey, you battled some really cool legendary birds along the way! That makes up for it right?... Right?

What at first is charm dumb fun ends up turning into a desperation for the story to take a logical turn, to have proper stakes instead fumbling around to battles that happen out of nowhere and the only stakes that they have is that they are against big birds and dragons. It’s clear it wanted to tell a story, a story about characters, a story about the people on this small world and their slow desperation against the superstitions and the impossible, but instead it just didn’t. Instead, we have a ‘’villain’’ that I really like the concept and his personality, but ultimately feels wasted because he has so little importance in the main story, and he only gets more focus after the credits roll. Instead, we have a final battle that its barely built upon and the final menace comes up of nowhere. Instead, we got wasted opportunity for expanding upon the world after wasting opportunity. Instead of an absolute success, we got a faulty attempt… an attempt with a ton of heart.

Where I found a repetitive gameplay loop and a wasted storyline, many others found n amazing game worth loving, one that sparked in many the love for the franchise, all because a small experiment that turned out to be so unique in so many way.

Blue Rescue Team would go on to create a pretty big series, and its sequel would result in a monument of a game, and that’s a story for another time, but even ignoring that, even with its many errors and faults, I’m glad Pokémon Mystery Dungeon is real, I’m glad it came out at the time it did and even if I wished I could be more positive about it, it sure did make me smile and have fun.

I just wished it went harder at places, that it had the courage to go all in. But that’s more of a dream than anything else…

“All dreams are but another reality’’.

‘’Never forget…”

In the span of 20 days, I’ve killed Dracula like 3 times now, I don’t know why so many games have an obsession with him but I’m starting to pity the poor bastard, like, he only shows up in one puzzle and his purpose is to perish, now that’s a true tragedy…

During its initial release, a portion of the discussion around Storyteller revolved around how it really wasn’t what it seemed at first; from promotional material and even its descriptions, you’d be led to believe this is a game about creating stories, using the characters and options available to form your own visual narrative, an idea that even the game’s own opening text seems to be pointing towards, when in reality this is pretty much a puzzle game. In each of the levels you get a set of characters and scenarios and from there you need to reach a specific result, and for many this prospect was less enticing than that supposed original ‘’go wild and crazy with your imagination’’ idea, but I believe that throwing Storyteller to the side simply because it isn’t something that ‘’sounds cool’’ is silly at best, especially when what it really is still sounds incredibly promising.

Building up a narrative and creating a story to reach a specific ending is a fantastic concept, an idea so fascinating that can lead to so many cool experiments, and gamifying the act of forming a world, giving life to a set of characters with a finale in mind is far from being an idea always bound to backfire, it’s a genius one with a super strong premise… one that Storyteller fails to realize.

Being simple is a good thing, and then there’s being simplistic; each of the puzzles feel… barebones is the word I want to say, but I’m not entirely sure it’s the right one; no challenge is designed badly or unclear, but they also aren’t great. I’ll admit I definitively wasn’t a having a bad with the experience, but I also wasn’t feeling particularly excited or even just really that entertained, it’s a very ‘’going through the motions’’ kind of game, where none of the puzzles are particularly challenging and few have those moments where the pieces fall into place and you feel like a genius. As such it could be seeing as a cozy or pick-up-and-play style of game, but considering just how short it is and how little it attempts in that time to actually make it a super relaxing or enjoyable experience, I find it hard to call it one. You just do puzzles until its over… and without ever fully tapping into true ‘’imagination’’ territory.

It's hard to feel as a storyteller when there’s so little space of possibilities; as I said the fact there’s always one ending for each of the puzzles doesn’t bother me, but that the characters have a set of behaviors that you cannot change and that there’s basically only a single way to achieve said ending does. At first it’s fun to learn how each of the characters behave, but after a while it quickly turns into an automatized experience, where you see your objective and think ‘’oh yeah, I know which character has to do each thing’’ which might sound good, but in practice feels like placing pieces of the same puzzle over and over, sometimes rearranged, sometimes with a different set of pieces. The secondary objectives that some of the levels have as well as the stamps and the Devil re-tales are an interesting spin for sure, and especially towards the end this concept shows its highest potential, but it just not involving nor realized enough to be memorable or that fun.
The game doesn’t tell stories, just broken scenarios, and you aren’t tasked with forging them, just to fix the… I don’t know if that even makes sense, but what I’m getting at is that Storyteller, even at its best, doesn’t seem to strive for much despite shooting pretty damn high, and I’m left with the sensation that many other puzzle game accomplish the idea of creating your own path or solution much more consistently than the game about creating tales.

The game isn’t a incredibly ended open experience with player experience at its focus, nor does it want to be and nor it should be judged as such, but what it is is a overly simple, limited and average puzzle game that’s only somewhat enjoyable. It may not be something that it isn’t, but it also is not even close at being a true accomplishment of what it aspires to be, and that’s much, much more tragic than the former option…

Mf thinks life is all sunshine and rainbows

Despite my fondness for the Kirby series and the pink ball’s equally adorable friends, it’s kind of surprising how I haven’t played many of this cute eldritch horror’s older adventures. Case and point, it was only relatively recently that I finally played Kirby’s Dream Land,  and while it was certainly a simple and fun enough adventure —and a necessary stepping stone all things considered—, it didn’t quite click with me the same it does for others. It has its moments and highlights, like the shoot ‘em up boss fight, and as a short, easy-to-access platformer, it does a good job, but I find it reaaaaally hard to get invested in its not-so great levels, and Adventure’s existence and how fun and complete that game feels while also accomplishing everything Dream Land does doesn’t exactly help things.

All this to say I had no  clue what to expect from the sequel; I knew I had to play this, this is the first outing in Shinichi Shimomura’s less action oriented take on Kirby compared with what Sakurai would end up pursuing in Super Star and that fact alone made it far more interesting, and I also knew some other things here and there, like the fact it features copy abilities and what-not, but overall… Yeah, I didn’t know much about aside from ‘’this is the direct continuation to Dream Land’’. I wasn’t expecting anything bad, hell, I don’t even consider the original game a bad work at all, but I would lie if I said I had high expectations going in…

… so what if I told you I kinda really jammed with this game?

I… Wow, if we see this and the two previous games and some sort of original trilogy, then the evolution is clear as day; as I said, I knew this game lifted some elements from Adventure like the copy abilities, but I never expected to see so many translated so well to the charming brick that is the Game Boy. Levels once again have the adorable introductory cutscenes, but instead of being limited to one-stage run-throughs, there are actual defined hub-worlds, and while there’s less optional stuff than in Adventure (by less, I mean none), the hub areas themselves feel much more compacted and representative of the world they are set in, and it’s hard to describe how, but these areas and the game as a whole manage to feel very lively despite normally featuring no color at all.

And on the levels themselves… You can play as a hamster, so I think that says more than enough. The original Dream Land attempted things such as vertical challenges and annoying mazes, and while those are very much present here, they are accompanied by far more interesting overall lay-outs; the game is still easy, but beating the stages feel like an accomplishment either way thanks to the more varied and fitting challenges, mini-bosses that are actually super fun,  and a but more of a puzzle-like feeling thanks to the collectables and the varying paths.

There are still 1ups here and there, but the existence of star bits and being rewarded with a life after collecting enough is a incredibly simple change that goes a long way in encouraging you to approach the stages in a slower-paced, different way, and that’s not even getting into the main collectables that give you the real ending.

Most of the stuff in or added to Dream Land 2 seems like the most basic shit imaginable, and maybe it is, but it’s all done with such care and intent that it’s hard to not be profoundly enthralled by simply getting a new power-up or uncovering a secret. The design, the animations, so reminiscent of both games that came before yet even more adorable, and charming, even the music for crying out loud! Most are rather short loops, sure, but what they lack in length, they deliver in quality, have you even heard Coo’s theme? You know this bird is the real deal when this starts playing.

Oh, that reminds me of the friend animals, actually… Nah, just kidding, I could never forget Rick and his incredibly silly dance, I smiled so much when I saw the lil’ guy go… Rick, Coo, and Kine are so much more than what they seem at first; they aren’t only  funny fellas that give new ways to move around, they are also broken as hell in every sense of the word! Each power-up acts different depending if you are accompanied by them or not, and they are pretty much the key to finding the game’s more hidden secrets, and… I don’t know man, they are just so much fun to play as and make you view levels in a completely different way.

Out of the bunch, Kine is probably the least useful: his land movement is ass and pretty frustrating, and it’s not like it makes swimming easier than it already is, and getting him without the possibility of getting rid of it can make certain sections into a nightmare. Other than that, they are genius additions that not only seem like an inspiration for the sections in Kirby 64 alongside other friends of Kirby and even the ability combination mechanic, but also feel like a sort of preview for the far more complex move-sets Super Star would give us.

It's a super charming and fun experience that only has two big problems, those being The Iceberg and the Dark Castle; the former is an ice world, and even tho that alone doesn’t have to mean anything negative, it sadly has some of the most annoying, stressful, and frustrating levels in the entire game, with a vertical sections that is either the easiest thing ever or the most bullshit platformer challenge I’ve ever tried depending on if you have an animal pal or not. And the latter is relying solely in drawn out sections that aren’t that fun to begin with and content to see in other worlds, which is a huge shame considering how cool the whole setting is. Two whole worlds that drag down what’s otherwise a fun and wonderfully simple platformer, it's still Kirby after all, but what intrigues me is how it manages to be Kirby, if that makes sense.

It's clear to me now how much this game not only would highly influence both Dream Land 3 and 64, but after also the Kirby series in general: other playable characters aside of the main puffball, puzzle-like elements  and collectables that would return at full force in the modern 2D games, the long running tradition of Dedede getting possessed, and the beginning of the whole Kirby background story as we know it. What surprises me is not so much that it introduces these elements, but just how well they work right here, right now.

It's true that it has two worlds that feel like a bit of a chore, it’s true that most of the puzzle can be summarized as ‘’you need x ability to break x block’’, it’s true that it borrows a ton from Adventure, and all of that matters, but it also matters just how much of a fun and well-thought out adventure this is. I’ve used the word ‘’charm’’ a couple of times, but it’s the word that defines it best….

Also, if the three animal fellas don’t appear in the next 3D Kirby game (If there is one) I will RIOT, I NEED MORE OF THESE ADORABLE MACHINES OF DESTRUCTION AND THEIR SILLY DANCES, DAMMIT!

Pokémon Chess is an unbalanced mess... it really feels like a true official competitive experience, only instead of Landorus Therian and Urshifus, you get ice Queens!

I really do enjoy some of its ideas: I'm always up to a more chaotic reinterpretation of a game like chess, and changes like the type effectiveness and the complete erasure of the concept of check do transform it into a far more aggressive game in a good way. In here is doing or you don't, except that even if you do it, the game may say ''y'know? fuck you in particular!''.

If you ask, I'm not really saying it from experience, 'cause for some reason this game adores me. It has helped me to every single opportunity and saved me from every single fuck up, and you know, I appreciate the help, but you gotta let go, Pokémon Chess, it's not you, it's... no wait it really is you.

I know that Pokémon and RNG are intrinsically related, but the way the newly introduced luck messes with the base balance of chess completely ruins it. Sure, it's fun to get a critical hit and blast through your opponent the first time, but after a while it really sets in how fishing for those moments ruins the strategizing potential of the game and how the possibility of missing seems specifically added to either create an incredibly annoying mechanic or make le funny internet moments. Pokémon is, even at its most questionable, entirely designed around RNG, chess isn’t. And not enough changes have been made to accommodate such an inclusion.

It’s a gimmick that gets old fast but can be fun with friends, which is about what I expected it to be, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is a little novelty and very little else, it really is what says on the packaging.

Having said that tho, the fact the low HP music from B&W plays when you are in ‘’check’’ is a damn good detail, that caught me off guard and was pretty cool, +5 points for that alone!

Maybe one day, you’ll remember this place…

A Link to the Past starts on a stormy night...

I actually never have beaten any 2D Zelda games until now, for reasons that are a story for another time, but I have played an tried quiet a ton of them, some until the half-way point or even a bit after that, and the one thing they all share in common is how well they sell this larger than life epic, an adventure with its silly moments, but that it still feels consistently ‘’grand’’, and the menace of evil looming over the heads of everyone in Hyrule. This isn’t a complain, not in the slightest, and that isn’t the reasons I didn’t see any of those games to the finale, is just a part of their identity, like the dungeons, vast worlds opened by upgrades, and Octorocks…

Link’s Awakening begins on the quiet coast…

…But Koholint Island felt different. It still has the many dungeons with their bosses —some being not that great to be honest, at best they end too soon and at worst they are slow or overly simple—, it still has the usual items and upgrades, it has a TON of Octorocks ; in many ways, it still has the mark of 2D Zelda…only instead of feeling like an epic , at times it feels closer to a fairy tale.

Mist forest filled with secret passages and tricker raccoons, songs of fishes and frogs that give new life to what has been gone for a really long time, and what’s perhaps one of the funniest side quests in any game that’s essentially just an item-trade hunt, but it goes on and on across the entire island and your final reward is basically getting two items and scammed, it’s amazing!

There’s a joy to be found in the island, be it the in the little chats with the weird folk or the great search for the color dungeon; even when you aren’t at one of the incredible dungeons, which from a design perspective are the most fun I’ve had with 2D Zelda ever, I never felt like I was losing time or getting side-tracked. The little things like walking a Chomp-Chomp around and playing a crane machine feel just as important as getting the fabled legendary instruments, so mundane but at the same time so mysterious, so fun, so dream-like.

The diorama comparison was also completely on purpose, the toy-like feeling the remake offers is nothing short of amazing, everything feels made out of plastic and clay in such a purposeful way I got nothing but praise for it, and playing through this world reminded me of the tales I made while playing with my tales, distant memories flourishing amidst a world full of wonder and shells.

It sucks that it comes to a price; the game’s frames tank… a LOT, sometimes in the dungeons, but mostly out in the open, and it’s pretty noticeable. I understand that running a completely ‘’open’’ island with such wonderful visuals would have its consequences on performance but I would lie if I said it sometimes felt a lit too much, and I’m left wondering if maybe a bit more time in the oven or a patch or two would have helped things, ‘cause as it is it can feel jarring and take you out of the dream.

It's honestly a bit of a weird remake at times; the fact the jump item isn’t immediately binded to a button permanently boggles my mind considering just how essential jumping is for the whole adventure, especially the scroll sections; that plus how cryptic some enemies’ weaknesses can be compared to others which are pretty much clear as day and not being able to use the D-Pad in any way despite Link snapping into the eight set directions , I’m left wondering, more-so than after playing any other remake, how the original holds-up and if maybe it can feel more consistent. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still in love with the visuals, and things like the Telephone Hint Huts and are a godsend for people like me, but I feel like I’ve missed something by not playing the original… or maybe I’m just searching excuses to return to the island.

You have no idea the mental strength I’m putting in to not talk about every single interaction and moment, ‘cause Link’s Awakening feels special, like a dream, yes, but also like a pas memory, memories of spending summers at the beach and waling along hills, memories of thinking of adventure and meeting strange yet lovable folks, scattered memories from a distant past or even a completely different Goomba-infested reality, memories of songs so far away they are beginning to echo…

I feel like I’ve been missing something incredible by not playing this sooner, yet I’m happy to have finally clicked with one of Link’s adventures, and especially this one. It’s fun, it’s carefree, it’s exciting… and beautiful in its own particular, amazing way, to be honest…

…and then, it’ll become real.

Years of playing Simon in Smash Ultimate and defeating that game’s Dracula have led to this… to my ass-beating being even more shameful.

Castlevania is the type of work I both dread and utterly love to talk about: it’s a game that has been around even before I was even a thought, the type of game that has been spoken and discussed about to no end and one that I myself I’m at risk of misunderstanding or simply not being able to add more from what many others have said, but it’s because of those same reasons that I yearned to finally embark on it. It has built up such a legacy that I’m kinda surprised I didn’t make the slightest effort to at least try, like I did for other series like good ol’ Mario or Doom, it’s the 8-bit monster killing adventure, but defining it like that, while accurate at the most literal sense, would make me fall into that lack of understanding that I wanted to avoid so badly.

There’s this change of outlook that I always inadvertently take when analyzing older media, which it isn’t a bad thing, I always attempt to view things considering the broader scene at the time, and many go even beyond trying to view the historical context behind certain videogames, something that is simply amazing and leads to some fantastic reads on works that at face value don’t seem to have much depth, but this change of mind also comes with a more uglier side, the act of trying to reduce an aspect of a game to ‘’oh yeah, that was the jank of the time’’. Things like ‘’This game has this terrible stage, but it’s from the NES, so obviously it has aged poorly!’’ or ‘’Of course there’s a shit ton of enemies in this area, it’s an arcade game, they had to find a way to suck the quarters out of you!’’ are trails of thought that while are not misguided and they have chunks of truth (I’m not trying to imply that some Arcade games’ sections are NOT designed to be coin-eaters, some certainly are), some people see them as unequivocal facts that apply to ALL games equally or as completely valid indicators when thinking about a game… by some people I mean me. I like to think I push aside those generalisms when talking more in depth about games, but I’d lie if I said that they didn’t cross my mind as an immediate justification to myself for why I was getting frustrated or I couldn’t get past a certain level, and it’s when those thoughts cross my mind the I stop seeing the game as a work of art to be understood and analyzed, and more as a inconvenience to put up with and get over with, basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m a bit of a goofus, shocker I know.

Castlevania should be yet another victim to this, I should see its forever spawning enemies, their extremely cruel placements, its tough as nails platforming and its both battles as nothing more as things that just aged badly, as a consequence of it being a NES game from the 80’s… and yet, I can’t see everything about it, including its quirks, as anything except as clear marks of identity that separate it beyond other members of its ilk, especially as I’m writing this.

The castle of Dracula that gives name to game is one of the most identifiable and incredible sets I had the chance to traverse through in the entirety of the 8-Bit console catalogue; you are not simply thrown into levels with a strong thematic, even if that alone would be pretty cool considering gothic motifs, but you are actually going through the Castlevania, going past the entrance into the maws of the castle, exploring the catacombs and dashing through the roof-tops, even getting to traverse the gears and machinery that give power to the clock tower. Each set of three stages has a strong sense of purpose, playing a clear part in this impossible building that cannot be, certain enemies guarding certain areas, and with always a unique boss capping off each of the sections, something that only gets re-affirmed with every set of stages beaten and a chance to look at the map once again, to see your progress reflected and your new objective mark. You are in constant movement, constantly going forward, and constantly being mesmerized by the new sights.

For a game that tries so hard to be creepy and drab looking, it’s utterly beautiful, the sprite-work is captivating like few I’ve seeing, nothing lacks that grimmey details, but at the same time everything is instantly recognizable, both enemies and backdrops; the colors paint a beautiful picture of a dreadful world lighted by the pale moonlight, darkness still takes a hold of every corner, but Simon always oozes light, and the reds and blues of the enemies turn this into even more of a colorful festival while still being quiet like the night… quick reminder that this is all happening on a NES. It’s a striking world to whip through, and doing that while monsters surround you, bosses overwhelm you, and death is around every corner and specifically in one room, the music accompanies you with every step taken, with ladder climbed, with each obstacle overcome and god. DAMN. Castlevania’s OST could have been normal spooky-ass music and I doubt many would have complaint, but instead it has to open with ‘’Vampire Killer’’ and it just keeps getting grander and grander, reflecting your never ending progress to Dracula while being absolute BANGERS, this castle may be going down, but it’s doing it with style.

Even tho the enemy variety is not that big, it certainly feels like it: enemies and divided into clear and specific areas, with the Fishmen being more common in the basement of the castle and the armored Knights guarding the areas closest to their lord, and even with the enemies that are common across the board, like the skeletons or the Medusa heads, they never become visually tiring or get too old, they are used the right amount of times... and almost always in cruel ways. Dracula is a bit of sick bastard with its minion placement, and hey I get it, if I revived after 100 years and saw the descendant of the guy that killed me came to invade my home I’d be pretty pissed too, can’t blame the guy that much honestly. But even still… endless armies Medusa heads constantly going to attack you, flea-men attacking you in impossible patterns and being dropped onto you and giant bats appearing just when you are jumping before you are even able to see them and throwing you down to your death it’s uh… a bit of a dick move honestly.

Castlevania doesn’t seem to show compassion at any points, some stages and levels may be easier than others, but it’s never simple, and when it gets cruel as all hell, it gets fucking cruel as hell. There are moments that drove to the verge of madness, parts that made me wish that I didn’t bother to pick up the controller, and my mind wanted to whisper that same thoughts whose arrival seemed inevitable… and yet, even at the darkest of times, I kept being… enthralled by it. The moments that I once saw as unfair, like the barrage of fleas being dropped on you, took a whole new perspective once I realize they fell jut far away enough so I could hit them with my whip; the horrible patterns of the medusa heads that seemed endless and unpredictable and made me fall a thousand times became more readable, more fun to avoid than to kill, turning into a monster dance of sorts (HAH! GET IT? DO YOU GE-) ; bosses that I simply didn’t know how to fight against became clear as water when I used the right extra weapons and tools. It never became easier, in fact it only got more maddening difficult as it went along, but it all had a point, a rhyme and reason to be the way it was, there was a purpose and a clear intention even in the most of frustrating moments, and in a way that captivated me, compelled me to move forward and get the vampire killing done, to see Simon keep. Moving. Forward.

And talking about the man itself, he couldn’t be more prepared for the task and less capable of it at the same time if he wanted. Simon is extremely prone to falls and takes its sweet time to throw that whip forward, he really can’t be trusted to immediately react to a threat, but he certainly can be when it comes to analyze and anticipate one; he’s surprisingly momentum based, and while jumping you either move or you don’t, you have to commit to one of the two, and it’s that necessity to commitment, that heaviness and that feeling of strength that sells you fully the idea what kind of game this is: one where you do. Or you don’t. Simon can either be the most thrown around guy in all of the castle or an absolute unstoppable machine, but it always feels amazing to control and feels fair to play with, ‘cause the way he moves and plays, in a way, is Castlevania.

Still, even when realizing this, there are some sections that feel a but too cruel, mostly caused by the cramped spaces or tight platforming, especially near the final stretch, and I’m also not that convinced by the bosses; they are memorable encounters for sure, but mainly ‘cause they are the most different thing compared to the rest of the game, they don’t feel particularly interesting, some are easily cheesed if you have a certain weapon or find a specific spot, and then there’s some like Dracula himself who just feels fucking terrible to fight against and he and even Death are the only things about the game I could say feel ‘’janky’’. Having said all this, I’ll say that I love Igor and Frankenstein (I don’t know if they are really called that but oh well), once I realized how they worked, it was easily the most fun boss to take down and the one that felt the most satisfying, loved those two so much.

Castlevania is flawed, but by its own merits, and not by a general statement that could be applied to many games. From beginning to end, even at the most infuriating of moments, I never stop seeing for what it was: an incredible game, fascinating in a ton of ways and interesting in so many others, it has reaffirmed things I already knew and even made me learn more, and I’ll be sure to take those same lessons when I play future experiences.

A simple quest that would lead to so, so many more, a short adventure that it goes beyond its simplicity, a true legend.

Go forth and onward, Simon Belmont

Now, let me tell you a story that ALSO begins with stardust...

If I had a nickel for every time a Nintendo developed game that originally was planned as a mere expansion or remix of a past game but ended up becoming a complete sequel, I'd had two nickels... which it isn't a lot, but this joke is tired and I lack originality and humor.

The discussion around Super Mario Galaxy 2 has always centered around one simple and obvious question: How does it compare to its predecessor? And I mean, it’s pretty clear why that is; never mind the fact that it’s a constant in any given series, including 3D Mario as a whole, but this is the only game to be a direct follow-up to a past game and setting, one of Super Mario Galaxy at that! Tho it’s worth saying that, even back then, a lot of people saw the more simplistic level design of Galaxy as a huge drawback for it, and the more in depth level-design of Galaxy 2 is seen as a blessing, and is the favorite of many out of the two on that reason alone. Still, there’s a great amount of people that keep seeing the first one as the superior game, and the main reason most we will give when explaining why tends to be the same, that being that Galaxy 2 lacks… THE SOUL.

The important thing I wanted to get out of this clusterfuck of ideas is that, personally, rather than asking the aforementioned question regarding Galaxy 2, I have my own question: … what even is this game? That is the query I had stuck in the back on my mind while playing, and to be honest, I don’t think I have a very fulfilling answer. You probably are thinking ‘’Deemon, you absolute mindless ameba, what are you even on about this time, this is a sequel to Galaxy, it has a two on the fucking box and it shares the same gameplay basis, you brain-dead donkey’’ and you’d be technically correct (tho it would be a really mean way to say it :( ), but… is it tho? Galaxy 2 was conceived more as an expansion than anything more, just a bunch of new levels using the pre-existing foundation established by Mario’s first space adventure, and it just so happened that it ended up getting so big that it justified turning into a full-blown game. And yes, Galaxy 2 does very much expect you to have played the previous game, a clear example is how the first boss of the game is both a call back to the first boss in Galaxy 1 and has a ton of parallel to the Bowser fights in those games, and the challenge is considerably higher in certain levels and bosses (even if the overall game is still pretty easy), but at the same time, this game very much seems like a different take on this same idea rather than a continuation. I think the story is a perfect reflection of what I mean by this: it acts as if the first voyage never really happened, the opening is leagues more light-hearted and even a little goofy, and until the very ending, the whole adventure lacks a sense of continuity, and in fact I’m pretty confident saying that this game references directly Super Mario 64 almost as much as it does for the previous game. This might seem unimportant or even petty to complain about, but I really think that is this contradiction what makes this game fail where Galaxy 1 went above and beyond; by wanting to craft an experience that any new player can pick up and enjoy without having even touched the previous adventure, but also wanting to make an experience that expands upon what said game proposed mechanically and making it more focused on gameplay for the older players, you get a pretty confused game that never seems to ever reach the same levels of wonder that it once did.

I mentioned before that some players argue that it lacks THE SOUL, but I don’t really agree with that notion. This game still has a ton of THE SOUL, it has an almost palpable personality, and each of the environments still feels distinct and full of life; the same passion on crafting a beautifully grandiose and silent and fun experience was put into this game, but it seems muffled: the soundtrack, while still fantastic, is a bit weaker and, dare I say it, more repetitive than the original, and I would have preferred it if it had more calm and quiet pieces; the main hub just doesn’t work for me, it’s interesting and pretty goofy, but you don’t get the same feeling of progression you got with the Comet Observatory, things and characters pop up without affecting the ship itself that much, and makes it so that I feel less invested on a space-ship that has the face of the main character plastered onto it; I also found hard to get really invested in some levels, especially when beginning the game, I just felt as if I was going by the motions, and the galaxies just felt like obstacle courses with random sky backgrounds rather than real places, like galaxies like Honeyhive Galaxy felt…

This things that made the original so special just aren’t like they once were anymore, there are attempts to re-capture that same magic, but most fall pretty flat; it’s clear that the game had its priorities and that plus the predicament it put itself in stopped it from re-capturing that magic this world once evoked. So… I’ve been actually surprisingly negative so far, so much in fact I have yet to say one single fully positive thing about Galaxy 2. Nothing of this of course destroys the game or anything like that, but it does move it into the realm of the more average platformer, kinda like the New series or 3D Land do… So like, what thing I have to say about this game that’s completely and utterly positive, if there even is?...







ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING FUCKING ELSE!

When I said that Galaxy 2 tumbled on what Galaxy did the best, I kinda forgot to say that sequel just kinda puts to shame its past iteration where this one kind of didn’t hit the mark; as I said, Galaxy 2 does not hit the same levels of wonder, but it does surpass every sense of fun and excitement in the moment to moment gameplay in a way Galaxy just couldn’t consistently do. Every galaxy, every star, every side challenge it’s just so well designed, so fun to play and go through, the more limited move-set of Mario (at least compared to previous 3D games) thrives in these levels and it’s just so fun to beat them both by normal methods or discovering its secrets and thing outside the box. The power-ups, OH DON’T GET ME STARTED IN THE POWER-UPS. Some, like the Fire Flower and the Bee Mushroom, return from the first game, but the new ones like the Drill, the Rock Mushroom and specially the Cloud Flower are probably the best additions Mario has ever seen to its arsenal; they all used to their fullest potential and every chance you get at using them is a treat; the drill complements the sphere shape of the planets like butter, the rock power-up adds a ton of fun destructive chaos that is highly appreciated, and cloud flower opens up the space of possibilities like never before; even if this may be the most linear out of the full-blown 3D Marios, it sure doesn’t feel like it while you play it. There’s also the side secret moons and the speedy comets, and while they are nothing that will blow your mind, the former are always a fun little distraction to discover while you discover the seemingly never ending waves of creative level-design, and the latter have seen a huge upgrade compared to their last appearance; they are now much more stream-lined and faster to complete, and I actually really wanted to beat as many of them as I could, and plus, the Comet Medals, while mostly easy to get, are a nice thing to grab and a fantastic way to incentivize 100% competition. The bosses are all just bangers; they defy the simplistic nature of the bosses from Galaxy, where they never really strayed off the simple routine of shaking the wii-mote at the right time or pointing at the right stuff, and here begin to introduce power-ups, more complex patterns and really aggressive movement; all of the Bowser Jr. fights are pure gold and a ton of fun, every time the little guy was involved in something, you can be certain a fantastic fight is coming up. Oh, I forgot, we also see Yoshi coming back to 3D and OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM. The funny dino is super fun to play around with, mastering its movement and the brand-new power-ups he can use it’s the most fun I’ve ever had controlling him, and it kinda makes me wish for a fully focused Yoshi 3D platformer, because if it were to be good as this, HOLLY FUCKING HELL.

Every single addition to the gameplay, every single new mechanic, every new idea, it all feels like it could be divided in at least another 2 sequels, but no, it’s all here, and it’s so, so fun. This is still Galaxy, and while I don’t still necessarily consider Galaxy 2 better than its pre-quel, it is a fantastic game on its own merits, ‘cause yes, this game it’s its own thing as much as it is a sequel. It’s impossible to only look it through only one of those lenses, and even tho it’s important to now where thos one faults where Galaxy shined so brightly, is equally as essential to know and remember that what this game has an objective: to be a joy to play, to be surprising, to be constantly a treat.

This is the first 3D platformer I ever played, even before the first game of the series, and even if I never finished, I had an indescribable amount of fun with it, and now, coming back to it so many years later and having experienced almost all of Mario’s 3D catalogue, the fact I felt the same fun and enthusiasm speaks volumes. It’s a tale that also begins with stardust, but the journey it’s so wonderfully different…

Pokémon White Version 2 ? More like, PEAKmon White Version 2!... Ok that one wasn't even funny I'm sorry...

White Version 2 is such an anomaly that I'm even surprised it even exists as it is; now-a-days, the concept of the ''Third Version'' of Pokémon games has completely disappeared, with the jump to 3D a ton of stuff began to change, so much so that for the sixth generation there wasn't any kind of third version, for the seventh we got the ''Ultra'' games, and now in the eighth and ninth generations, DLC has been the main focus for a way to add more content to the original games. There's a ton to be discussed about this topic, if the DLC's are worth it; if the extra editions, despite consistently being the definitive version of any given generation, were just another way to scoop more money out of mechanics and enhancements that should have already been on the base games, which were dual releases in the first place… whichever the case, one thing’s for sure: for the longest time, they have been constantly expected, and the expectations for the fifth generation were no different. I mean, c’mon, games called Black & White that also have a third dragon legendary that gas grey as the main color? It was clearer than water that sooner or later Pokémon Grey Edition was gonna appear on the shelves… except no…

…no it did not…

Well-over a year into the 3DS life-span and in an extremely surprising and different move (tho that’s kinda in brand for B&W as a whole), B2&W2 were released for the DS, and not only this was the first instance of a generation not having a having an upgraded version as we know it, but also it was the first and, so far, only instance of this franchise having a direct sequel that takes place in the same region. It’s clear that despite the initial controversies among some fans with the original games, the team at Game Freak loved the original Black and White games as much as people (such as myself) do to this day; in several interviews and even in a ‘’Iwata Asks’’, game’s director Takao Unno mentioned the desire within the team to expand further in certain characters and the regions, keep pushing forward the themes of battle of ideals the the original entry stablished, as well as to explore new mechanics within the same world and Unova’s lay-out. Even form its very conception, B2&W2 was conceptualized as anything but a simple repeat of the original, but I also think that calling a more complex remix would also be a disservice, and it’s far more than just a simple follow-up.

Two years have passed in-game and between releases, and it very much shows; while yes, the region of Unova hasn’t seen much big changes, every city is still were it once was and pretty much unchanged from two years ago, we traverse a lot of locations never before seen: from bran new places like Virbank City and its complex, the not so far-off Pokéwood, or even routes that has seen complete revamps, like route 4 turning into a small apartment complex in Black 2 or the results of an archeological excavation in White 2, which not only are some rad differences to have between versions than just some changes of gym leader, but also reflects perfectly on the ideas of duality that these games strive to make the center off. Both past and new locations feel alive and vibrant, and there’s arguably much more variety in the design of the cites and sub-areas here than there it ever was in the original game. The way you traverse the games is also much more refreshing compared to the original game: not only there are a ton more of de-tours in before known places, like seeking Team Plasma in Castelia City’s sewers, which were inaccessible before, but also, while the game is fairly linear, you jump constantly from area to area, and half way through the game you take a plane that takes you to the routes that were once just post-game content, and they are much more expanded and lead to never seen before places, both before and after the league. Some characters also sport brand new looks and teams; both Cheren and Bianca feel a ton more mature and experienced than their younger, more insecure and reckless selves from B&W, and they are a perfect showcase of how much the events of the original game and the 2 years that have gone by have affected them and the entire region; even the gym leaders, while they do leave much less of an impact and don’t have as much of a presence as they did in the original, are still by far the best in the series, sporting new teams, their proudness in showcasing the progress of the region (Like Clay and his beloved Pokémon World Tournament), some even having new looks and gyms, and some of them just retiring, leaving the mantel of gym leader to new aspiring trainers in different places. It’ all just so… natural, the passage of time is communicated incredibly well and makes traversing this brand new Unova so compelling and exciting to discover, and be soaked on its mystique.

Visually and sound-wise is still the same ten out of ten as it was once; the new music is great as ever, but much of the graphics and songs are lifted from its predecessor, and while yes, they are still fantastic, I think that’s more of a victory of the original Black & White than of these games (and believe me, I’ll also talk about those in the future). What was also a victory of the past games was the simply impeccable narrative. B&W explored what it meant to a Pokémon trainer, questioned the grounds for what the series stands for, and crafted a evil team that, while ultimately was head-speared by a disgusting megalomaniac that sought control of the region under the façade of a good ‘cause and manipulated the entire region creating basically a cult for the leader (I really need to get into Ghetsis in the future), the cause of N was and still is well-spirited, a movement that seeks to help the Pokémon and that, to this day, is brought back time and time again in the series as a talking point. B&W questioned itself, and it didn’t take the cowards way out by simply saying that all of Team Plasma was wrong; N truly had a point, and B2&W2 biggest narrative strength is the exploration of one simple question: What happens next? While it was easy to englobe all of B&W’s themes under the fight between different beliefs (or truth and ideals, as the games puts it) and how there are certain things that shouldn’t be looked at through a black or white lenses, B2&W2 are not as easy. Ironically, despite being still being called Black & White, the game does for sure lean into that grey territory; aside of the Plasma and the Rival’s storyline, many of the characters don’t have much conflict, not even the returning N; some characters like Colress bring the interesting perspective of extreme pragmatism and how that inevitably leads people to be closed off from possible positive ideals and ultimately fall into the exact violence and coldness they seem to be against (Funnily enough, is in Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon where Acromo gets a really cool ending to his character arch, so I really recommend checking it out if you like his character) and the rival does have a cool arch of leaving behind wrathful vengeance in exchange for compassion and it’s probably one of the most underrated rivals in the series; but the game as a whole doesn’t really center on those topics. Instead here’s this feeling of… resolve, of hope, and despite the past coming back more violent than ever, the people and Pokémon of Unova are more united than ever, and this inner peace and ravenous excitement for the tomorrow can be seen in the champions of the region, both old and new.

It is an interesting perfective to take in the sequels, even if ultimately it isn’t as compelling or gripping as the previous game was; it’s for sure a more celebratory and optimistic take, and it’s warranted considering the ending of the past adventure, but it doesn’t stop it from feeling less grounded, and more akin to what you would encounter in a ‘’normal’’ Pokémon game. The Team Plasma stuff is clearly the winner of the whole narrative department tho; even if at a glance it looks like they ‘’rocketized’’ the Plasma fellows, I actually adore this direction for them; the division of those who follow N and those who follow Ghetsis, with two of the old sages at the front of each, Roof and Zinzolin, it’s the true reason this game is still called Black &White. A division of those who seek atonement for their past mistakes and truly want to help Pokémon, and those who still follow their deplorable excuse for a leader, who now only want to use strength and fear to reach their end, who embrace foolishness and ignorance. It’s so, so fucking compelling, not only it’s the expected outcome since it’s clear some of the past Plasma members would realize their errors and Ghetsis is a petty piece of shit that would inevitably come back, but it’s also just so satisfying to see a brighter future for truly altruistic people, as well as to kick the asses of the Neo Team Plasma and destroy the madman’s aspirations once again. It’s a return to the more classic formula of the Evil Team, but one that works wonderfully, and makes me wish that the game had explored it even more and put the main focus into this division once again, but do not mistake my disappointment in certain regards by disgust; B2&W2 are still fantastic games, probably the ones with the most interesting content, the most interesting Pokémon variety and balancing, and even if I ultimately prefer the originals, they are still a monumental achievement for the series, and even if they back-pedal in certain aspects and I’m not really fond of certain major and minor battles compared to the originals, I don’t think there will be any other game in the main series that reaches this level of pure personality and fulfillment….


The memories I have with this game are as strong as with the originals, and I revisit this game, way, way more simply because of the fun of team building, doing stuff in it and just… taking it in, taking it slow, enjoying the music, the views and the pixelated beauty of it all. Each new change, be it aesthetic, narrative or even in the gameplay department (the Hidden Grottos and the new revamped learn-sets are two fantastic additions that come to mind) showcase just how hellbent the team was on crafting the best fifth gen experience possible, and even if I still believe that it doesn’t quite reach the same highs as its pre-quels, B2W2 is a swansong, and even if it’s up to each if the series never reached the same highs as it did here, it’s for sure that the team left the DS with on a spectacular note.


Man, fuck a possible remake of the original, give us B3&W3 or a Legends: Kyurem/Victini! Give us kino, Game Freak!

Death of a Shadow

There are two fights in this game, both against the same enemy, that I believe perfectly encapsulate the things I find myself loving with a burning passion and the worst parts of the entire experience respectively; one is a frenetic ‘’you die if you stay still’’ challenge that acts as the perfect exam for jumping and dodging, a movement test if you will, and it does that while creating an incredibly fun encounter that makes your heart race in a pretty simple but appropriate arena, and just when you think it’s over, it surprises you with a brand new set of moves that dive you the perfect chance to make your parry and guard skills shine as well as use what you may have learned about spacing in the last phase. It’s an unexpected yet perfect fight which the game had been quietly building up through its mechanics and the area that you traversed to get to it… And then the second time around you randomly encounter in a much more cramped, less interesting arena where the camera really likes to go to the great beyond —more than usual I mean — and I has NO new moves and it doesn’t get interesting in any way, in fact it’s second phase is fighting another enemy with the moves that it had at first at the same time.
It may sound like it has the potential to be a cool fight, and maybe it does.
In practice it just isn’t.


Some of the faults of Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice come from the fact, despite playing and functioning in entirely different ways, it never breaks is ties with the Souls series. The enemy AI behavior and camera are essentially the same, and if the latter was already a point of contention in the best of cases and the reason many stopped playing in previous games, in here shit is fucked up. This is not a camera that was designed for encounters this hectic nor for a combat so fast paced, and even if most of time works, when it doesn’t it feels like an entire enemy of its own; it’s not weird to get backed into a corner when fighting some bosses or losing sight of a really big one in the open field, and if that happens then prepare to pray to every singular member of the FromSoft team, ‘cause the chance of you getting out of that situation without a giant slash across your entire body is pretty damn low. It is not a constant, but it happens way to many times for it to not be a pretty big issue, and the amount of times I’ve NEARLY lost entire fights because of it is a horror story in itself. Basically what I’m trying to say is, if you see a mini-boss in a rectangular arena,RUN.

Regarding the AI tho… maybe I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, but I want to make clear that when it comes to one-to-one combat, this game excels in so many ways that if I tried to explain it this review would be way longer than it probably is going to be already. It’s an exciting and terrifying dance where the enemy may decide the beat, but you are the one taking steps, and fights flow like water down the stream… but Sekiro isn’t entirely a combat focused game. Stealth makes up a huge portion of the game and there is no limit to the amount of options, paths and strategies you can take, and it’s pretty fun!.. except that it really doesn’t feel like it flows as well. The AI is extremely rudimentary, and enemies can be in three different states: clueless, on alert and on battle; they are predictable as they are completely impossible to understand, they always act and reset to their original position even if you killed half of the camp you are in, which kills a bit of the tension when you are always more mobile than any of them, so going away and returning is a constant safe option that never really punishes you aside of enemies getting their health back (which doesn’t really matter for non-bosses since enemies die in one hit if you mortal-strike them) and it sometimes feels like getting spotted is a total gamble that depends on some weird-ass enemy placement or just plain inconsistency. It feels oddly clunky, and granted, it only feels like that when you do something wrong, but I also really think that a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle more complex AI and things like more traps and more persistent enemies would have made it far more punishing but satisfying. One thing it does help is that because enemies act INCREDIBLY aggressive, fighting more than one rando at a time feels like actual hell, so going in sword blazing is never a feasible option, and that is a smart way to encourage getting rid of enemies individually… except that sometimes the game does force you to fight groups of enemies directly and it’s the sloppiest most unfun thing ever but you know what I think I’m gonna shut up now…

The artificiality is only reinforced by how the actual characters themselves act in big moments, you may be in the middle of a fight or an entire castle is being conquered right as you speak, doesn’t matter, even characters withing the building won’ say a word about… odd is the word I can really think of for it, it’s just too odd…

It really doesn’t help that quite a few of the optional content feels more like a chore. Getting exp and money for the items can be a really big time consuming process near the end, but I guess that comes in the package with it having RPG elements, and said elements are indeed pretty good so I can look past that. But fighting the Headless, doing some of the more impossibly obtuse quests and getting all of the prosthetics upgrades however, that’s a bit harder to ignore… they are amazing parts of the game contextually, but actually getting them is a huge investment that can be the most mind-numbing thing ever, even if the reward itself is more often than not worth it.
And funny that I mention the obtusity of the quests, ‘cause that reminds me of the narrative… oh, the narrative…

Seems you’ve grown… if just a little

I can’t recall being so torn about a story as I am on Sekiro’s, in big part because I actually fucking love it so much. The land of Ashina, its darkest of catacombs and its highest of peaks, is is a world that made me wish to be able to learn more about it even after spending nearly 30 hours on it. Is a deeply rich, highly folklore inspired tale of mysteries and tragedies, of smallest victories and massive losses, and its cast makes a huge part of that. Meeting the Sculptor and seeing the clear but deeply hidden sadness it hides made me immediately invested, and from them it never stopped the pace. The weird-ass merchants you meet along the way, the impossible to not love allies—like Emma, Kotaro or the Divine Child — and every single one of the major foes you fight. Some don’t even need to say a word, their design and animations already tell a story on its own, confirmed by some of the items you can fins, but generally, it speaks and if you can drink sake with them, it’s a character worth meeting… but at the center of it all, there’s a Shinobi.

The protagonist isn’t a mere unnamed assassin, nor is it a representation of us as players. The main character of this story is Wolf. It is Sekiro… one problem tho: most of the time he isn’t really a character.

By that I don’t mean that ‘’Oh he doesn’t speak much so he’s barebones xdddddd’’ no, that’s actually an endearing trait of his that I loved each time a character pointed out, it humanizes him and levels him down from what otherwise would be an unstoppable killing machine, but aside from that, the only thing I can say for sure about Wolf is that… he’s…. loyal to Kuro, I guess?... oh wait no, nevermind, there’s an ending where you can betray everyone including him HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?????!

Wolf gets completely screwed over by the fact he’s the main character of game with a couple different options and that lets you kills some NPCs, so we get this conflict where we get a clear version of the character in a scattered cinematics and the intro, but it never gets explored meaningfully and it can all feel screwed if you just acted a bit whacky and decided to sometimes be the purest angel imaginable or a complete psychopath at the flip of a switch. Which it may not be as big of a deal as making it out to be, Sekiro isn’t an expansive, dialogue reach RPG in the first place, but there are times where the game does really try do some cool-ass stuff. I made fun of it before for the sake of a joke, but the decision you can make of either defining your father, the Owl, or joining him is incredibly compelling both ways, one that makes perfect sense depending on how you view Sekiro and a surpringly super meaningful choice, but in contrast to that we get thing like fighting the Owl two times, both fights amazing and some of my favorites in the entire game mind you, but never achieve an ounce of the impact they could have simply because Wolf is one stoic bastard and we had only really seen the Owl like… one time before the fight.

Characters like Isshin, Emma and the Sculptor seem to bounce well of Wolf, but a ton of the more interesting moments are ones you have to go out of your way to reach, and they don’t feel really that personal; it’s just feels like the gang telling you stuff that it’s REALLY interesting, but it gets speed up or brushed aside, and sometimes just an excuse for a fight that you don’t even begin to comprehend it until it’s over (they really did my guy the Sculptor dirty, man…) so the only really meaningful collection between characters we have is the duo of Wolf and Master Kuro… which to be fair is my favorite of the game.

Kuro is a super curious spin on a immortal character, especially coming from FromSoftware’s previous work, and his showings of Kindness for Wolf like cooking rice balls and Wolf’s diligence to protect him felt like a curious Father-Son bonding moments I wasn’t expecting to see, and felt worth hunting for and seeing. I’m glad that bond that gets stronger as the game goes is the one that moves the game, because I feel it’s a genuine moment of true direct narrative being perfectly showcased and not just another wall of text you read after killing a boss. I just wish that for once we got the full narrative and more character driven-moments, but at least what is there, what it’s for us to see and play, it’s excellent…


…huh…


... it’s funny… that’s a statement that goes for the rest of the game too…


Hesitation is Defeat

Three words from the mouth of an old legend.

I didn’t know it when I first heard them, but those three words were going to echo in my mind from then and onwards, and even before… I just didn’t understand them yet.
The highs of Sekiro are so high I could swear they broke my goddamn roof. This is not a game about ‘’getting it’’, it’s about understanding it. It takes a while for sure, there’s a reason the game makes a fight for you to lose and one of the major mechanics is having more than one life. Experimentation and learning is the backbone of the game, both in the long term and in the moment while a fight to the death, but it’s not only through battling that you’ll gain experience.

You are made for this world, even if it’s hellbent to screw you; Wolf’s mobility and arsenal is simple, but the amount of possibilities opened up by the zones and how the enemies act doesn’t make it binary, in fact quite the opposite; your mind and reflexes are constantly tested, you need to think on your toes while you approach it slowly, and then you’ll maybe be able to gain an advantage and a better view of the area or a perspective on a fight. Whichever the case, it feels like silk, Wolf has always a bit of delay when starting its actions (except for blocking, that’s instant no matter what) but it’s constantly delayed, and when you start blasting or jumping or grappling-hooking, the only think that’ll be able to stop you will be a sneaky enemy or a mistake of your on. Few things feel as satisfactory as breaking an enemy’s posture or getting the drop on a mini-boss, fin fact, no… none really compares, nor that I can think of at least.

When everything is going right, the combat of Sekiro is king of the accursed universe. I described it before as a dance, but that does for every little action, every decision like taking an item or using a prothesis in the right time is just another brand-new way to go around this deadly waltz, avoiding fear and poison, sometimes going even underwater, it doesn’t matter, it always feels satisfying, you are always in control, you just have to not let them take it away from you.

I complimented Ashina before, but aside from looking astonishing, the lay out of every single zone that encompasses the kingdom is jaw dropping. Not that it’s just ‘’well designed’’, it’s that I cannot think of a single room that feels out of place or badly put together, let alone an area. It never feels unnatural, and in the best of cases I wished I could be transported right into them, the build up in each of them and the surprises they hold a treat to be experience. The Divine Kingdom, Ashina Castle and Senpo Temple are not just my favorite areas in the game, they are some of my favorite areas in ANY game, FromSoft even managed to pull off a Fores Fog and Poison Swamp and make them amazing! The bastards actually did it!

They are only enriched by the small or most impressive moments: a knight from a far away land walking out of a corner, a soothing melody hiding the dark truth of an old village, a small hill full of pinwheels that act as a reminder of a dark truth yet to be known… or just a dude falling at full speed onto you while screaming his lungs out.

I wanted to make special mention to the Great Shinobi Owl fight, I mentioned before it was great, but the reason why I think that is that it grounds this world even more; a boss that uses cheap unexpected tricks unpredictable in every way and that even uses your tactics against you… it’s like fighting a mirror, which not only tells a bit of the relationship both characters have more than any dialogue, it feels so satisfying to, after facing warriors of thunder and mist, after looking into the eyes of beast and hiding from giant gods, have a fight where everything you know about yourself and the enemies you have battled till now is tested… a fight where you cannot hesitate.

This review could have been all about talking about the boss encounters, and you know, maybe that’s a write-up for another time, but for now I can only state the obvious. Sekiro’s combat is joy, it’s stress, it’s a learning process, from beginning to the very last sword slash, even at it’s worst, 90% of my deaths were because I doubted, because I didn’t do a Mikiri counter or broke my guard, those were deaths that I felt responsible for… but with abilities to use and tricks to employ, you’ll always have at least another chance…

Also, the other 10% was at Demon of Hatred seriously FUCK that boss, it isn’t even the one I died the most to (I think) and I still despise it, get back your annoying ass to Devil May Cry 2!


Return

I tried Sekiro for the first time back in 2020. You can imagine it didn’t go so well.
4 years later I still see the problems that I could feel back then, and the fact most of that not-so-good content is optional doesn’t really make it more justified, and things like the camera are just undefendable… but, and this may seem rich coming from the guy spent the entire first 1000 words talking about everything wrong with the game… I still adore Sekiro. It’s flaws do get in the way of me loving it like so many others di, but after 4 years, being rapped by its world and visuals, fascinated by it’s combat and celebrating each victory like no other, excited to discover and learn even more… and to end up victorious in the end, that’s a feeling I don’t think a game will make me feel again, at least not for a long time.

The last of Ashina are unique, special, and so are the challenges it holds… challenges I surpassed, even when I really didn’t think I do, ‘cause for every 20 deaths at some random Mini Boss in the early game, there’s a Genichiro defeat at the fourth try. Falling again and again, and the in the end to not hesitate… that’s what Sekiro is about.

And when it teaches it well, it’s wonderful.

I have a confession to make... despite the fact I hold this game in a extremely high regard and I even already praised it when I reviewed Fever, I actually never reached its end, and you know, after finally beating it after so long... I understand why.

Rhythm Heaven/Paradise doesn't pull any punches, I don't know if I would call it the hardest game in the series, but it's for sure the most consistently challenging out of all of them, especially when going for the Superbs. In occasions it feels like the game it's saying to your face ''Oh, do you want a reward? Maybe a pat on the back? Then you gotta earn it, bucko'' and proceeds to tell that you did ''Just OK'' despite only making ONE (1) mistake in the whole rhythm minigame, and that's not something that happens one or two times, it's an extremely common occurrence... and I love it for it!

I love that it's so demanding that in some cases it asks for perfection, I love that it requires to put the DS in such a seemingly weird position and can only be controlled with the touch screen, I love that it was marketed as a game that everyone can enjoy and learn from despite its absurdity and difficulty, I just love that it doesn't feel ashamed to be what it is, and on the contrary, it constantly enjoys simply existing. And you may be thinking: ''...well, that's nice I guess, but you've said really similar things about both Tengoku and Fever, so what makes Heaven/Paradise so special?’’ and the answer to that is quite simple… FROGS SINGING IN SPANISH.

Take everything I said about Fever making you feel incredibly happy while you are playing it, multiply it by at least a hundred, and you get the exact way I feel when I’m experiencing Blue Birds; while I’d say that both games are on par quality wise, all of the rhythm minigames in both experiences being incredibly creative and fun, Heaven/Paradise has a certain charm that I find extremely difficult to describe despite how easy is to pint out; every game has its unique visual flare, the music has that unique feeling that only the DS sound font can give off while also being unlike anything else on the system and producing some absolute BANGERS, and in spite of Megamix proving that a lot of this minigames can be controlled with a button control system just fine and even improving upon them, I’d still say that is this ‘’Touch book’’ system of controlling the game and holding the handheld what makes it that much more unique and injects so much fun into it. There is not other game like Rhythm Heaven/Paradise for the DS, even if I think Megamix is the superior experience in the series, is this one that it’s the most… well, itself; the one that pulls all the stops, the one the weirder stuff (as hard as that is to believe), the one that went as far as to even have full-blown vocal translations of songs to other languages, and as such the one that feels more personal, the one that feels just like paraíso.

Even if there are a lot of re-used minigames which don’t feel expanded upon enough, even if the flicking and touching control scheme can get a bit to get used to (even tho it ends up being a fantastic way to play the game and I absolutely loved it), even when the difficulty to get 100% completion can begin feeling a bit like bullshit (Remix 6 is absolute evil), I still love it. I still love it with minor flaws and gripes, I enjoyed every single moment I spent with it, and I will never forget the satisfaction that gave me not only beating Remix 8, the minigame in which I gave up in my first time back when I played it so long ago, in my second try, but also getting a superb. I’m so glad I finally beaten it, and I’m so happy to say I’ve loved it so, so much more than those years ago, and I found value in things I wouldn’t have even considered back then.
Time sure flies, it seems so long ago, I finally got some rhythm, and we’re on our own path now…

So let’s go!


Oh and also, this game’s Remix 10 is better than Fever’s in both the music and fun department and yes, I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL AND NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE, TAKE IT AWAY, CONDUCTOR!

My past self: ''Y'know, I think it's time I give Breakout a shot! It'll take me what, 10, 20 minutes to get something out of it? I'm sure I'll be done in a while...

My present self (2 hours later): ''Y'know, I used to be fucking stupid when I was younger!''

And you mean to tell me that founding Apple is Steve Wozniak's highest achievement? But... this shit is better than the MacBook!

Despite so many years of playing Breakout in different versions and in scattered moments, it never truly hit me till now how much fun of a game it actually is. You could have fun by yourself in Pong, it’s just like bashing your head against a wall: even if you end up enjoying, it’s not gonna last very long before something caves in.

Breakout answers to that idea by making that wall fun to bash against! It’s a back and forth against yourself that feels rewarding beyond the mere act of seeing the number score getting higher; dismantling that multicolored wall piece by piece is as simple as it is addicting, which it’s a lot.

Even tho Breakout’s pitch is pretty much ‘’Pong but singleplayer focused’’, I also like to think of it a sort of reinterpretation of pinball machines into videogame territory. A really simplistic one to be sure, but that lifts of elements from it that fit —like the strike system, with a certain number of balls given to you per coin to get a high score—, but also shifts away from the ‘’choose your own path/route’’ that the best machines make you feel and instead puts your objective in front of you. Am I overthinking things? Most likely! But it’s hard to not let your mind ponder over the little things as you break away and have a fun little time.

It’s one of those games that just works… except when it doesn’t. The rather clunky hit detection that was already present in Pong hasn’t gonna go anywhere, I would like to say that it’s just a matter that the paddle’s hitbox as the paddle itself, but it seems to depend more from where the ball is coming, sometimes making contact is enough, others you need to line up perfectly, and it can feel a little discouraging when it messes you up when you are having a good run. It does fix the speed of the ball on spawn tho, it makes it pretty much impossible to miss in your first throw and eases thing into getting as fast as hell, so ya win some ya keep some, I guess…

Breakout is still very much a win, and it doesn’t need dragons on the cover art to show that, it’s another piece of the massive domino that was the arcade industry of the 70’s, piece that would lead to amazing games like Space Invaders, but also a great piece on its own.