i used to be so down bad
i had this jill valentine poster from re3 in my room when i was younger that every time i got some victory in a game i would point at it and go “yeah baby” (i was like 12 leave me alone). my cousin was over for christmas one time. we were playing halo 3 and i kept beating him in 1v1s and kept doing my little victory routine after each win and that got him so mad that he yelled and started punching holes in the poster causing me to tackle him and start pummeling him with smacks across his face while tears rolled down my eyes. that day i felt a loss of innocence. good game.

this isn't really a review so much as it is an emotional plea as to the value and worth of NieR Gestalt. i feel compelled to talk about what made this game so special to me when I played this over 10 years ago now, before NieR becomes completely subsumed underneath the shadow of its vastly more financially successful follow-up. the original nier is an important game to me, and I refuse to let it be forgotten or replaced.

------[a] requiem for smokin' sick style------

the combat is good, actually. and i'm tired of pretending it's not.

maybe it's just because I've spend a disproportionate percentage of my time online hanging with people who think KH2FM and DMC4 are the peak of video games and anything that isn't trying to emulate them is a fundamental failure, but it feels like this is the one stick absolutely everyone beats this game with and it's disappointing.

when Nier hits someone with his sword in this game, there's almost a full second of frame pause as the weapon cleaves into a shade and lets loose abject fountains of blood that paints the environment around the now dismembered spectral body. when he uses magic, he summons a horde of blood spears that obliterate anything they hit. it is one of the most casually violent feeling things in the entire world and it absolutely owns. when this game recontextualises it's violence (refreshingly without falling into "you enjoy the killing" played-out shite), it lands harder than so many other games because of how genuinely violent all this feels, and manages to accomplish it without the cartoonish viscera of something like The Last of Us Part 2.

yes it is stiff and clunky. no, you will not make skillvids of this online. i beg of you, expand your definitions of what makes combat in a game good beyond that narrow field. no other game can be Devil May Cry 4, not even Devil May Cry 4.

------1,312 years [b]efore its time------

representing the satisfying midpoint between the interminable bansky-esqe "makes u think..." philosophy 101 drivel of Automata's lowest points and the insufferable edgelord tendencies of Drakengard 1 & 3 that tended to bury the things about those games that were genuinely interesting, Nier is everything I find enthralling about the DrakenNier games without the things that have ultimately led to me walking away from every other Taro joint feeling disappointed and unfulfilled.

2010 was a really long time ago. NieR came out before The Last of Us, before Bioshock Infinite, before Spec Ops: The Line, before the explosion in indie scene that led to more diverse voices getting a platform on itch.io and steam. maybe taking that into account can help explain why NieR completely changed the way I thought about games. it challenged what i thought video games could be. the way it flirted with different genres and forms was utterly captivating. nier felt like a game from the future or a different dimension. and now it isn't nearly as impressive, sure. it's been mapped out and explained and recapped by people trying to hurry you onto the next, less interesting game. everyone knows about ending D, everyone knows about the drakengard connection, everyone knows about the other routes. but I didn't. when I first played this game, and finishing it unlocked a new game+ that let me hear what the enemies had to say? my tiny 14-year old brain just about exploded, and opened a third eye to just what video games could do. maybe for you the game that did this was killer7, or deus ex, or undertale, or breath of the wild. for me it was NieR.

in a way, this is the real shame about automata, and the way square enix responded to its success. the game itself is fine, good even. but the way in which people have used it to turn this game into a footnote that should be skipped, skimmed, or otherwise treated as a mere prelude to the game about the robots in fetish outfits saying "wot if ur mum ran on batteries and went on about the ship of theseus" is profoundly neglectful.

yes i am being reductive and mean about NieR: Automata. if squeenix wanted me to not do that, they should have been less reductive about this game.

------the [c]ase for papa nier------

when people talk about the story of NieR, it's often the subversive or Lore aspects that are talked about the most, about the details of Project Gestalt and it's implications for the themes and what the ending means and things like that. which is all fine and good. but i think it's worth noting that NieR also just has one of the best parties I've ever seen in a JRPG. weiss. emil. kaine. kaine, most of all. they're all wonderfully well-drawn, complex, and deeply human characters, complete misfits that find a place to fit in each other. it's one of the core appeals of the entire genre and NieR just knocks it out of the park, and (setting aside the fact that I think the game has much more engaging things to say on the subject of parental love and it's toxicity than sibling love) that's why Father Nier matters so much.

because brother nier? he fits. he's a young jrpg hero on his way to save his sister with his party in tow. this is a darkness to him, but he is, overwhelmingly, the normalcy at the heart of the cast. he fits in as a JRPG hero. father nier, though? father nier doesn't fit. nothing about him fits. he's a hideous trollman who makes incredibly earnest speeches about friendship. he is a world-weary and cynical man who takes time to garden and help everyone in his home village. he is just as much of a misfit as the rest of this party, and thus, fits in with them perfectly. he makes this collection of off-the-wall characters, these people that fit absolutely nowhere else in this world, into a family that finds themselves, a place to belong, and people they love, in each other. he is what drives this party dynamic to heights that spoke to me in ways that i didn't really understand at the time, and that is why he will always matter to me.

brother nier is fine. he's cool. he's got some of his own stuff that's interesting.

but he's not my papa nier.

Note - as I did not beat the game, this write-up should be seen as a set of observations over a genuine review.


Dark Souls is one of those titles that does so much right: visually it's fantastic, the boss fights are great, the music phenomenal, and it boasts some of the best-realized combat I’ve ever seen in a game. It cemented FromSoft as the premiere developer for difficult RPGs, a label they’ve since used to generate critical acclaim and lucrative bank.

It’s unfortunate, then, how Dark Souls chooses to wrap-up these traits under some genuinely frustrating design schemes, and yes, I use the word frustrating because my problems with Dark Souls have less to do with objective difficulty and more to do with artificial flavors tossed in for no other reason than virtual sadism.

Of course, one can’t criticize Dark Souls without incurring the wrath of apologia its fan base has accumulated over the years, and while I’ll abstain from stereotyping thousands of gamers, you don’t have to look far to see the worst of their rhetoric. From their perspective, it’s easy to shut down any criticism under the banner of “git gud,” and I’ll acknowledge upfront that I’m not the best at video games: I sucked at Horizon Zero Dawn’s combat and my favorite titles are ones that are relatively-easy to master(+). But there’s a difference between a challenge and an irritation, and Dark Souls inclusion of both has unfortunately led to fans and critics alike intermixing them, when the truth is they should be viewed as separate elements.

Let’s start with the bad: the backtracking. Dark Souls is an action RPG best described as an 80s platformer in light of its atrocious checkpoint system. Every area contains two, let me repeat, two save points in their entire vicinity, and, as a result, you’re going to be wasting cumulative hours(!) re-running through the same paths again-and-again-and-again. The issue isn’t the lack of an autosave but the employment of an outdated save apparatus we all agree was only done to deceptively-elongate past releases, so why anyone thought to bring it back into the 21st century I have no idea. Plenty of modern video games have limited waypoints, but the difference is they’re smart enough to place them in areas advantageous to the player’s progress, such as, you know, after a major endeavor or right before a boss gate. Forcing gamers to spend minutes, I kid you not, minutes on end returning to a boss’s entrance or past a set of dangerous traps is beyond idiotic and commits the cardinal sin of wasting player time.

Of course, the arguments in favor of Dark Souls’s checkpoints are how it encourages obstacle circumvention by either “teaching” players to methodically-approach situations or learn the terrain for quick bypassing, and the fact that both these notions contradict each other should indicate the level of intelligence apologists have put behind them - if you’re meant to run past every critter, what was the bloody point in even having them revive? And if they were intended to be engaged with, why stack them with cheap shots, RNG, and extraneous numbers the player would fundamentally be unable to master (more on these later)? Dark Souls isn’t the kind of game about farming enemies for drops or experience, nor is it about clearing areas for long-term safety, making the two prospects very confusing.

To reiterate, I don’t have a problem completing a difficult section or two to “earn” a respite, but Dark Souls is rarely interested in providing that equity and outright boneheaded when it comes to logical placement. No seriously, there are so many areas where an additional save space or two (bonfires) wouldn’t have conflicted with enemy placement, yet the devs didn’t bother adding them for no other reason than maintaining director Miyazaki’s nonsensical 2-Bonfire rule. The trail from the sewery Depths to the Lovecraftian Blighttown, for example, forces you to run through a door, down some stairs, across a tunnel, and then down a long ladder….why not just put a bonfire at the end of that ladder? Why make players redo the same course when they’ll (inevitably) die to Blighttown’s new slate of enemies prior to reaching the first official Bonfire there anyway?

Another notable instance of this occurs in the grand city of Anor Londo, wherein your spawn point is separated from the next objective via a long dash to an automated elevator and spiral staircase followed by ANOTHER long dash down a platform….why not just place a bonfire at the halfway point of said platform? The idea that simple additions like these weren’t considered says a lot about the kind of griefing FromSoft gleefully indulged in during development.

I’m not done ranting about the bonfires as there are two extra qualms associated with them that make an already-faulty system laughably frustrating. For starters, FromSoft went out of their way to hide some of them! No, I’m not joking: if I wasn’t semi-playing with a guide, I wouldn’t have discovered half the pyres out there, and that alone speaks to the callousness guiding FromSoft’s approach to game design: the idea of deliberately ensconcing an already scarce resource for no other discernible reason than sh!ts and giggles.

The second quandary is less-egregious, though still objectively annoying, and that’s the lack of fast travel between bonfires. Now, to be fair, Dark Souls is very good at connecting sites through story progression; however, there’ll be situations in which you may have to return to a previous area for some reason or other(++) and will consequently have no choice but to backtrack like a caffeinated hare.

And this whole schematic is the main reason why I abandoned Dark Souls. I’ll get into the other problems for sure, but understand that, unless you’re willing to put-up with the limited save points, you won’t have fun with this game. True, you only lose souls upon death, but that can be really vexing in the early stages of the journey when you’re trying to increase stats or upgrade weapons (+++).

In addition, an unintentional casualty of the whole shebang is how it diminishes any motivation to explore - there were tons of places off the beaten path I genuinely wanted to check out, but ultimately absconded from in light of fears of either losing all my souls on hand, or drifting too far away from the nearest beacon and subsequently getting sucker-stomped by some new behemoth that would force more, you guessed it, backtracking to where I died. To anyone curious, yes, there are quicksave mods out there for PC players; however, I personally don’t recommend downloading them as they’re a pain in the @ss to install/use courtesy of Dark Soul’s online component (more on that later).

The second biggest setback you’ll run into is the skill system as it is very atypical by RPG standards. Those familiar with the genre know that, in most titles, everytime you level-up, you earn points that can be funneled into a variety of stats for the overall purposes of getting stronger.

Dark Souls retains that basic premise, albeit with some changes for better and for worse: on the plus side, you’re not earning experience towards an arbitrary bar, but souls to then shovel into 8 different categories, with each upgrade concurrently raising your hero’s base level. On the negative side, though, the devs made the bizarre decision to scale soul requirements to the highest one you have, and I genuinely don’t understand what the thought process behind this was - if you’re at 20 Strength and 12 Attunement, for example, you’ll have to spend the same amount of souls upgrading Attunement as Strength, with every other requirement also inflating in the process. I’ve heard fans claim this was done to encourage builds; however, that argument falls flat when you realize universal attributes like endurance and health are afflicted by this system as well - if FromSoft was really intent on distinguishing Dark Souls from other role-playing titles, why not meet in the middle via categorizing skills for the cap (i.e., have the scaling for strength apply only to dexterity, or Faith to Intelligence)? As it stands, this all-or-nothing approach will definitely nag at you during the beginning stages.

The third quandary is how Dark Souls doesn’t bother explaining a number of its more intricate components. On my end, for instance, I never figured out how the magic system worked, and frequently had to look-up things like factions, the purpose of different items, how to do summons, and so forth. I fully concede these may have been located within the title, but by no means were they ergonomically sited.

In terms of the game’s general difficulty, I agree with fans that patience is a virtue. Dark Souls combat is based around the idea of attack-and-response: every enemy has memorizable patterns you can either block or strafe around in the hopes of exploiting openings for your own hits. The key to everything is managing your stamina, this bar dictating your capacity to strike, dodge, or defend, and only replenishing when doing nothing. There are growing pains with each new foe encountered, but that’s also a part of the fun, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the skirmishing system FromSoft created.

Unfortunately, as much as I liked the combat, it’s also where you’ll find the last rung of unfairness due to it involving several enemy advantages I alluded to above: first, even when blocking, monsters will occasionally get a hard hit on you that saps you of your endurance (or health if unable to shield), and it didn’t appear to be related to any specific move but good old-fashioned RNG. Secondly, weapon-based creatures occasionally get stuck in this everlasting strafe wherein they’ll continue to circle about you without breaking their guard or lunging, making for some really annoying encounters since they turn too quickly to be flanked nor attack themselves. Thirdly, you sword strikes can ricochet off walls-and-barriers, yet this same limitation is conveniently absent for foes, who instantly recover; and finally, just like with Gothic, Dark Souls’ fighting is inherently built around 1v1 bouts, and just like with Gothic again, it still tosses multiple thugs at you. I will never comprehend the logic backing these decisions as it results in players (like myself) engaging in cheap tricks to cheese the game ala inching closer to trigger individual enemy aggros(++++).

To clarify, nothing about these four combat hitches is game-breaking by any means, but when taken in conjunction with those prior two macro flaws, you’ll find them getting under your skin more than they would’ve in any other product. And that sums up Dark Souls issues in a nutshell: individually, they could have been tolerable, but when cruxed together, they add up to a thoroughly-unenjoyable experience.

It’s a shame because, again, the game does so much right - graphically, it stands as prime proof of how a solid art style will always age well, the gothic romanticism here blending well with some of the best texture meshing I’ve ever seen in a video game: seeing cracks on different pieces of armor or the visceral rotting of wood or the slimy residue on subterranean slabs goes a long way towards showcasing the kind of love that was poured into this game. Much like the second God of War, Dark Souls warps familiar locations like sewers and wooden villages under a unique skin, and it consistently blew my mind whenever I’d enter a new locale purged by these aesthetics.

I’m not going to delve into excessive detail about said aesthetics as I didn’t enjoy or play the game enough to do so (plenty of walkthroughs and screen caps exist online that I encourage you to look-up), but what I will highlight are three major achievements, beginning with the varied elevators you’ll utilize. See, FromSoft was so dedicated to their in-game cultures, that they literally crafted multiple unique assets for something as simple as an ascension apparatus: in the medieval-inspired Undead Burg, you have a creaky chained shaftbox; in the wealthy Anor Lando, a beautiful-floating tile; and within Blighttown’s plague-scoffed planking runs a rickety waterwheel amidst the muck. I’ve always had a deep love for architecture, and the fact that FromSoft thought to build engineering feats specific to their various cultures was beyond mesmerizing.

Second is the gorgeous dynamic lighting that not only bounces well off plate armor and metal grooves, but offsets the need for a torch via your avatar generating a bioluminescence.

Finally, you’ve got the Monster designs, their composition ranging from standard enemy tropes to absolute nightmare fuel, and as a result of that berth there’s admittedly a bit of a hit-or-miss effect in terms of memorability - catching wind of skeleton warriors or giant rats, for example, doesn’t quite evoke the same sense of dread as bug-eyed frogs or Deep One-esque critters. Don’t get me wrong, everyone’s movements, skin textures, and groans are exquisite - I just wish the game had been less generic-fantasy at times.

These same criticisms extend to the few bosses I fought, which, to repeat, are fun, but which sometimes leave more to be desired as far as visualization: on the one hand, you could get a disturbingly-alluring specimen in the spider queen Quelaag, only to have her followed-up by a regular iron golem literally called the Iron Golem.

Thankfully, what consistently elevated even the more-drab titans was the score by Motoi Sakuraba, and I can’t believe this man hasn’t achieved greater notoriety as his tracks here were consistently amazing. Dark Souls may stand as the only game I’ve played where you could strum a boss’s theme and I would be able to tell you exactly who they were by virtue of the music alone: that’s how perfectly-done the OST is -- by-and-large, my biggest regret from dropping the game is knowing I’ll never hear Sakuraba’s other compositions juxtaposed against their synced monstrosity.

SFX, I won’t go too in-depth in either other than to say that this is unfortunately a headphones-favored title: you’ll miss out on a lot of intricate aural details like the breathing of fake chests or stomping of underground monsters without a pair of buds. That said, the primary beats surrounding weapon usage, walking, and armor chinking are top-notch, with FromSoft even programming in individual footstep dins for each leg (an aspect you’re liable to noticing in light of the variegated surfaces you’ll literally run across).

With regards to technical issues, the only quibs I ever saw were some weapon clipping, a lack of cloth physics for certain suits (e.g. Silver Knight capes), and sudden color palette swaps when shifting between interiors, all of which were ultimately minor stuff.

I’ll touch on the story briefly because it’s another case of a genuinely bad aspect being praised to unworthy heights. See, Dark Souls shoves the bulk of its narrative into flavor text: while there are narrated bits and some NPCs you can chat with, you won’t understand a single thing about the world you’re in unless you take the time out of your day to read-up on the item descriptions laden in tools, weapons, boss drops, or merchant wares, and I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t play video games to read books. Optional lore is one thing; supplementary material a second thing, but this tactic FromSoft utilized right here is outright lazy. It literally comes across like the video game equivalent of the Marvel Method wherein artists for the eponymous company would do all the work crafting the story, only for writers to come in and add their own selfish scribbles atop the panels. To be fair, Dark Souls’ tale isn’t anywhere near a focus of the game; however, that doesn’t diminish the fact that it was a wasted opportunity to really make something immersive.

Some people may be curious about the multiplayer component, a facet that’s infamously led to FromSoft foregoing pause screens due to the insistent need to stay online. The truth is I didn’t engage with it a lot, so I can’t say whether or not it’s worth fielding -- it is kind of cool seeing dead phantoms and left-behind messages by players, but the culture shock wears-off the second you realize how idiotic 90% of these messages are. Worse yet, if you ever undergo Internet issues (like I did), you’ll find yourself getting booted out of the game at a moment’s notice (luckily, you are loaded back into your immediate position, but it’s annoying nonetheless). As such, unless you have a solid bandwidth, I’d recommend playing the game offline to avoid potential tech surprises.

I say that last sentence with a clump of salt as, while I obviously didn’t like Dark souls, everyone should form an opinion for themselves at the end of the day. Dark Souls continued the revolution wrought by Demon’s Souls by creating a new genre, and I’m happy many have found joy….or so I hope….

See, I want to end this review by asking Soulsborne enthusiasts a genuine question, which is, are you sure you’re having fun? One of the biggest criticisms towards Ubisoft titles, for example, is the concept of dopamine exploitation: how players aren’t actually enjoying what they’re doing, but being deluded into believing they are courtesy of small achievements (like finding collectibles) auto-triggering the release of the infamous neurotransmitter.

I wish to apply a similar concept here, albeit under the guise of cost-sunk: playing Dark Souls, backtracking repeatedly, and dying constantly, I’m curious if you actually enjoy what you’re doing, or if it’s a case where, having invested so much time & energy into an endeavor and finally overcoming it for the dopamine, that you’re simply overvaluing the factual task at hand?

Just food for thought.


NOTES
+An exception being the Donkey Kong Country games.

++The two times it happened to me (both of which occurred in Blighttown ironically enough) involved having to repair my weapon with a Smith; and having to gather a ring that would allow easier traversal of the swamps.

+++Please prioritize upgrading weapons over leveling-up. The game doesn’t tell you this, but weapon stats are more important for damage output than personal dexterity.

++++Enemy aggros can be SO bipolar - there are some where standing five feet in front of them won’t do anything, while others are prone to charging at you from a long ways away.

-As the Remaster was my first incursion into this series, I can’t comment on any specific differences from the vanilla release. From what I understand via a quick Google search, though, they stayed very faithful to the OG (compared to DS2’s equivalent Scholar of the First Sin) and incorporated some natural resolution and framerate bumps.

-Puddles have reflective surfaces!

-Dark Souls is officially the only game I’ve played where you can control an undead specimen wearing a thong.

I've mentioned this in videos before but to me, there's this special aura to pre-David Production JoJo content, be it official or fan made, either because it represents a time before the cultural zeitgeist that the series would later become or because you wouldn't see some of the more experimental adaptations nowadays when everything has to be homogenized to fit in with the main adaptation. The 1998 Capcom fighter Heritage for the Future stands as a shining example of this mystic aura, through both the game itself and through fan content related to it and in particular, the legendary Road Roller Combo video and the memes surrounding it, which was many people's first exposure to the series, including myself. I'm not an expert on fighting games and the horror stories I've heard surrounding the game's community deter me from learning it on a deeper level so I'm not going to say anything about the standard fighting game gameplay beyond attacks feeling good and Pet Shop being funny. But between stuff like the overall aesthetic as exemplified by the loading screens' cool high quality manga panels, the roster's various deep cuts for characters, and the single player story mode's creative ways of representing arcs that wouldn't necessarily translate to traditional fighting game gameplay, Heritage for the Future has an undeniable charm.

Fantastic game. It's a hallmark of video game design, incredibly satisfying to explore and uncover all of its labyrinthian secrets. Even though it's not really scary anymore, the game still delivers a tense experience through its mechanics of scarce ammo and health items. Death is always just around the corner.

I especially like the setting, first traversing through a destroyed city infested with zombies, walking past debris and raging fires before finally arriving at the infamous police station. You'll travel through more varied environments before reaching the game's satisfying conclusion.
It feels more grounded than the first Resident Evil with it's Rube Goldberg-machine like mansion and it's quirky death puzzles.

It's a short game that warrants multiple playthroughs to get the most out of it. Well worth the time and effort.

Nostalgia for an age that never existed

FSR answers a deep and philosophical question: How do walkcels manage to reach places us carchads can access with ease?
The answer is a keymash full of personality and charisma.

This game has a deep sense of style and in my opinion nails everything that it sets to be: a tedious laissez faire affair in an island where nobody really gives a shit about living in a schizophrenic, Groundhog Day 9/11 happenings. Not even the game itself really cares about what's going on in it's own surface, more preocupied with making you vibe with it's fairly boring mechanics and funky "summery" arranges of classical pieces of music. Why yes, I do have a soft spot for Ravel's Bolero

Every single thing in this game strives to sedate you just enough for you to fall out of your chair with a smack on the face with some stupidly twisted revelation, making me wish that the Nintendo DS had a sedative tool implemented on it, kinda like the [gameboy](https://assets.newatlas.com/dims4/default/dbc81e2/2147483647/strip/true/crop/500x333+0+18/resize/1200x800!/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnewatlas-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Farchive%2F11669_12050945919_3.jpg). Long story short, I wanna be sedated with the DS.

I'm so sorry everyone, but sudafans were right once again, this rocks. May god help us all...

There comes a point with almost every modern open world game I've played where, after dozens of hours scouring the world for whatever crafting trinkets or rare resources or gear or whatever, I realize I don't actually want to keep doing any of that and have only been doing any of that because I'm generally inclined to delay progressing the main story in favor of vapid side objectives so that I don't 'miss anything'. It's a viewpoint that treats all content in a game as equal and worth doing, even in a game like Red Dead Redemption 2 where that side content consists of some of the most tedious and dreadful hunting and exploring I've seen in a video game that is only occasionally interrupted by a handful of interesting side quests.

It's a shame, really. Rockstar has managed to craft an admittedly awesome narrative that takes place in a vast world teeming with things to do, sights to see and people to rob. I find that the 'vastness' of most open worlds these days relies on a lot of incredibly unsubtle and uninspired shortcuts present throughout the industry that Rockstar is unfortunately no stranger to.

It's understandable to a degree that shortcuts and development shorthand are necessary when producing a game of this scale, but that still doesn't mean that the modern approach to designing an open world of 'scatter x different sets of y collectibles all over the map alongside largely formulaic side quest content' isn't any less tired than I already find it.

I recognize that this isn't a problem in design unique to RDR2, as other games have done it much worse (skyrim lol) which is why I'm not rating this game any lower for how enjoyable I found some of its other aspects. I wish I could care about this game a little more considering how important it is to so many, but when the only major aspect of this game that I care about is its story and generally think very little of anything else it offers when it is marketed as an immersive open world that ultimately fails to impress me outside of the visual department, it's hard to not look at it as another drop in the open-world bucket.

If it weren’t for the dreadful performance issues and the prior knowledge of who was at the helm of this project, I would have had a hard time differentiating Drakengard 3 from the countless mid budget Japanese games that populated the 7th gen. It is kinda fitting, and in some ways admirable, that a game coming at the very tail end of the ps3 lifespan, a console notorious for lowering the bar for acceptable framerate and optimization, would achieve the worst performance that ever graced the cell processor. But take away the obvious elephant in the room, and Drakengard 3 is actually a pretty serviceable and enjoyable hack n’ slash that hardly inherits the DNA from its predecessors.

Drakengard 3 carries itself with a whiff of resignation from the outset, an apathetic conformity to the whims of an industry that was slogging on forward to its demise, long after Nier’s final gasp for air. The world didn’t really care for what Drakengard 1 had to say, and while I don’t think Yoko Taro ever expected it to listen, Drakengard 3 is his most indifferent and defeatist work, with a constant self awareness that points out the absurdism of videogames, without ever trying to engage with it for most of the runtime, and while I am certain that the terrible performance issues are just a symptom of rushed development and a nonexistent budget, the 10 FPS drops do lend a certain intentional hilarity to the game at the player’s expense.

Despite not reveling in the misery porn of Drakengard 1, it somehow manages to be an even uglier game, in all senses of the word. The cast gleefully express from the get-go their propensity for violence and murder for comedic effect, the character designs are bloated with generic anime-isms and garish colors that clash with the medieval tone of the environments, the combat is now sufferable and standard musou fare that no longer provides the unique boredom present in Drakengard 1, filling the screen with shallow stylized blood splatter and DMC combos, and the game manages to be unpleasant in wholly new ways thanks to a plethora of explicit and depraved sexual innuendos that decorate most of the script. And yet Yoko Taro manages to find some life in this corpse of a videogame.

In contrast to Drakengard 1, the more you play, the more the game is willing to open a breach and extend its hand to you, regardless of how restrictive its polygon walls can be, and the jaded psychotic nature of its characters manage to somehow open up to reveal a sad, broken world pleading for death and change, of any kind. Even if the only language these characters can speak through are murder and sexual desire, they have the power to change the status quo, no matter how childish and naive that sentiment might be or how badly the cards they have been dealt are. And once again, Drakengard asks that you drop your weapons and everything you learned thus far, devote yourself and your time to its insanity, and struggle through one of the most infuriating and mesmerizing final bosses ever conceived. Bashing your head into a wall to the point of despair and defeat might not seem like the optimal way to communicate such messages, but like one character says after sacrificing itself in a bout of inspiration: “This was more human, wasn’t it?”

Drakengard 3 to me is Yoko Taro’s most impenetrable work, and a big part of it is due to the baffling decision to spread a lot of backstory and lore that drastically changes interpretation of the source material through a bunch of paid DLC, novellas and mangas, context that should have definitely been present in the game itself and would have made this a much more accessible and comprehensible entry in his Drakengard oeuvre. A lot of the ideas from Automata seem to have been conceptualized here first, such as being trapped in an endless death and rebirth cycle of bloodshed, a near impossible final boss that has you fighting against the game itself, or a meta-textual force interfering with the outcome of the story, and it functions like an inevitable bridge between Nier’s sorrowful epipath and Nier Automata’s existential rebellion. Drakengard 3 is the perfect 7th gen game, both a symptom of and a response to the dark age of japanese videogames. It just embodies that ethos a bit too much for its own good sometimes.

And yeah, this review was just an excuse to say I beat the Final Song. I did it. It took me 5+ hours to do it, but I fucking did it, and I did it without syncing the game to no video guide either. Hitting that final invisible note by pure intuition after going through hell is the most beautiful thing ever in videogames, and I’m so glad I never have to go through it again.

ODIO, ODIO, OOOOODIIOOOOOOOO.

CUANDO ESTABA TERMINANDO Y ESTABA EN PLAN "Buah, al menos es súper bonito el final, al menos después de tanto sufrimiento, framerate infumable y chistes asquerosos por fin tengo mi momento precioso que me va a hacer amar este juego" Y EL PUTO MINIJUEGO FINAL TIENE UN BUG QUE HACE QUE VAYA A DESTIEMPO Y SEA IMPOSIBLE DE TERMINAR EL 50% DE LAS VECES.

YOKO TARO, ESTA NUNCA, NUNCA TE LA PERDONARÉ, DEVUÉLVEME MIS LÁGRIMAS.

Apocalypse is one of my favorite Megami Tensei games - to me, this game offers some of the best combat and boss fights in the franchise, with a wide variety of quick, addicting side quests to keep you constantly engaged and seeing new opponents. The writing, while largely pretty corny, wraps around into being cool as shit near the end with one of the most outrageous power trip endings of all time. I refuse to believe the Anarchy ending wasn't intentionally written as the ultimate payoff for people who did not like this game's cast.