This review contains spoilers

The concept of a “tearjerker” is usually not associated with the medium of video games. In the realm of films, literature, and music, the tag is assigned to works that fit the bill either as a point of interest for those who want to expunge their emotions or a disclaimer if someone wants to keep their cheeks dry and cheery. Music is in a class of its own as the sonic art form tends to delve into one’s emotions more intimately no matter what the artist’s intentions were, or at least to a broader extent of the medium’s potential. For the narrative-focused mediums of film and literature, the writers must make a meticulous effort to direct their audience into flooding their living spaces with salty saline through the events of the story and the context of the character’s interactions. Since a large number of video games include traditional narratives with personable, dynamic characters, why isn’t anyone excited and or worried that one will cause them to be impacted by vulnerable feelings of overwhelming sadness? Well, video games had to evolve to achieve this sensation, as the earliest few eras of gaming were far too primitive to intermingle the narrative weight that would induce crying with the gameplay. That, and the inherent feeling that comes with playing games should be of elatement. After all, that is the primary objective of playing a game of any sort whether they be digital or not. However, video games possess a deeper layer of interactive complexities that games like hopscotch, gin and rummy, and all sports do not. Video games are art, goddammit, and one effective trait of fine art is the ability to make its audience cry. Emotional instances are known to pop up across a select few video games, but one game, in particular, was foretold to destroy the spirits of everyone who played it: indie developer Freebird Studio’s 2011 title To the Moon.

Already, the plot premise of To the Moon should slightly moisten the player’s eyes. An old man named John Wyles is lying on his deathbed, and his last wish before he passes into the eternal ether mirrors the fantasies expressed in early 20th-century cinema: a trip to the moon. Even in the fictitious realm of video games, there is no Make-A-Wish foundation for privileged senior citizens to fulfill such fanciful dying desires that only a handful of people on Earth have ever experienced. However, an organization called Sigmund Corp. can work around the expenses and general feasibility of this grand request by planting artificial experiences into the patient’s brain as they lie there comatose. Two doctors appointed by Sigmund Corp named Neil Watts and Eva Rosaline are on call to execute the mission by visiting John’s mansion and applying an apparatus to him while he lies in bed. Integrating these fake memories into John’s fading consciousness is quite the ordeal, so Neil and Eva must brew some coffee for the all-nighter they are about to undergo. As we speak, there should be at least a few choked-up throats upon reading what To the Moon’s narrative has to offer. The concept of death is an uncomfortable, bittersweet topic that will constantly nag us with feelings of dread throughout our time on Earth. The concept of death and dying is arguably the most universal human fear that crosses all cultural boundaries, even if the scattered earth civilizations have their interpretations of the inevitable. Because death and its implications are such a prevalent force while we are living, we do not need any context as to who John was as a human being to empathize with his critical condition.

To the Moon’s premise hardly sounds like something a triple-A studio would produce, so expect the game’s presentation to display the minimalistic trappings of an indie studio. Specifically, To the Moon was developed with RPG Maker, a computer program downloadable by the general public to craft their own RPG games. To the Moon isn’t working with a modest sum of resources: it’s something any schmuck with Windows 7 could’ve conjured up in one afternoon. In all fairness, despite how cheap and unprofessional the base software of To the Moon’s development sounds, the final product could still ultimately prove substantial if the developers know how to work around the constraints of a pail bucket budget. Besides, I’ve always stated that any modern game rendered in the pixelated past of the medium always possesses an endearing quality, and To the Moon is no exception. With the pixelated format the game works with, To the Moon’s graphics strike a balance between cherubic and sublime. The chibi characters in the foreground contrast with the often picturesque displays of the backgrounds. Look at the sight of the nearby lighthouse peaking over the cliffside where John’s mansion is located and you’ll understand the visual dichotomy I’m attempting to illustrate. It’s beautiful but carries a sense of melancholy. Like most indie titles from the 21st century that use pixels as a driving force of their artistic direction, To the Moon still looks crisper and cleaner than what the big boys of the industry were working on in the later years of the previous century. It’s telling how far the medium has progressed when a program as accessible as this one outperforms anything made with an enormous budget only two decades prior.

Despite the name of the software that To the Moon was created in, the game is not an RPG of any sort. Our two protagonists fight a squirrel on the rocky road up to John’s house in a turn-based format, but this is a one-time snarky, ironic joke to throw off the expected precedent. No, the developers figured the tasteful way to gamify a story where an old man meets his timely demise is to render it into a point-and-click adventure title. With the conjoined Inception-esque apparatus, Neil and Eva can fully access every memory and experience from John’s storied life, or at least how John recalls them. Their objective is to redirect the course of John’s life through their minor alterations, simply by subtly or unsubtly passing the idea to visit the moon while he still had time. Neil and Eva know that timeliness is essential considering the host of the simulation could perish at any moment, so their first attempt is to grab him a few months before he’s bedridden to relay the idea. Unfortunately for them, John’s twilight years were rather occupied with other worries, such as aiding his dearly departed wife River when she was in hospice and how to feasibly move a grand piano up and down a flight of stairs. John is too long in the tooth to be considering the improbable goal of space travel, so Neil and Eva are forced to delve further into John’s past to find him at a more impressionable age. The rewinding process through John’s life is how the game implements the interactive point-and-click elements. To dig deeper into the strata of John’s life, Neil and Eva must find a memento whose resonance will serve as a portal to an earlier memory. Commonly used mementos include a bag that John carried around and a stuffed platypus plush owned by River. To activate the memento, Neil and Eva must find five pieces of contextual evidence behind the memento found in the same scene, usually after the conversational section between John and another person is finished. Oftentimes, the substance behind the gameplay in a point-and-click adventure is solving puzzles to progress, giving the player a hint of interactivity that will keep them engaged. To the Moon offers something in the same vein, but it's far too elementary. The five pieces of context needed for the memento are hidden in plain sight, and the area where they are all located is confined enough that finding all of them will most likely take a few minutes at most. When the five pieces are all assembled at the chosen memento, the player is transported to a puzzle section where they must align a picture by a 5X5 grid. This simple task will also prove to be quick and easy, as there is no time limit and no penalties for accidentally making the image less coherent. I always worry when narrative-focused video games sacrifice gameplay to fortify the story, and To the Moon is another example that will continue this concern.

Alright, so if To the Moon’s gameplay is effortless so as to not distract from the foreground of the narrative, certainly the game compensates with solid characters that drive the story’s intrigue. John, for example, has circled around the sun enough times to have experienced plenty of amazement and hardships, so traveling down the rabbit hole that is his entire life should ideally be interesting, right? Actually, John’s life is realistically mundane. In fact, the man led a pretty insular life with the same people. He married his high school girlfriend, proceeded to stay acquainted with his best friend Nick into adulthood, and has been kept company by his caretaker Lily, and her two children after his wife passed into old age. Upon exploring John’s past, it seems as if his wife, River, is the fascinating one by comparison as we learn about her diagnosis of Asperger's and how it correlates to why she obsessively makes origami bunnies that are strewn all over John’s basement. We never know what John’s former occupation was and how he could afford a countryside estate that overlooks a lighthouse. Whatever it was, I’m sure it was incredibly boring. It isn’t until Neil and Eva have to connect the bridge of John’s past to his early childhood that we discover that John’s existence hasn’t always been so spotless. For some reason, the time before John’s teenage years is obscured in a hazy shield of blankness, for his time-consuming beta blockers in the military (which is only explained through exposition and not experienced firsthand) have blocked it from view. After forcibly pushing past the impediment, we learn that John is suffering the trauma of losing his twin brother Joey in a pedestrian car accident when they were still in grade school. To retain some semblance of Joey’s presence on this earth, John subconsciously adopted all of his quirks such as his adoration for pickled olives. He also gained Joey’s fondness for the Animorphs books series, which means that this old geezer is a decrepit millennial, and the modern-day in this game is in the later decades of the 21st century. Thanks for making your target demographic (me) fret over their mortality, guys. Uncovering the pinnacle turning point in John’s life that shaped his present-day demeanor suddenly makes us invested in him and adds some spice to the humdrum future events we’ve already witnessed.

Where To the Moon has characters who have the personalities of a wet sock, the game also features those on the other end of the spectrum who are a bit much. Neil Watts, the male half of the Sigmund Corp duo, is…how do I put this nicely? He’s a real prick. He’s impatient, obnoxious, rude, and treats the job he’s doing with such callousness that it is practically offensive. In sensitive fields such as the one he specializes in, it’s understood that one has to harden their heart to deal with the heaviness of death. Still, Neil presents himself with such aloofness that he comes off as a clod. The game is somewhat aware of Neil’s flawed personality through his dynamic with Eva, the straight (wo)man on the job. She constantly reprimands Neil for his buffoonery not playfully as a couple with brewing sexual tension or as a younger brother, but as a colleague who is wearing her patience thin. She has no hang-ups about announcing that Neil cheated to gain the position he’s in or insulting him right to his face. Mulder and Scully, these two aint, only because the Mulder here is an absolute cretin. Is Neil intended to be the comic relief? He certainly isn’t the rock of the protagonist duo keeping things together, so I suppose the developers intended to be the sportive source in a game revolving around heavy subject matter. Still, there isn’t anything funny about constant pop culture references or acting like an immature child when prompted to perform the most menial of tasks. Neil strays too far with his clown persona that it creates tone issues for To the Moon.

I was fully ready to rant about how To the Moon did not deliver on its promise of an emotionally impactful experience all because of Neil’s shenanigans until the end when the game managed to save itself. Reaching back into John’s earliest memories at a carnival where he meets River for the first time as a little child. When River expresses curiosity about the stars and the moon when she’s gazing up at the night sky with John, an alarming realization hits our protagonists like a ton of bricks. The reason why they’ve been having difficulties directing John towards his dying wish is that it was never his wish to begin with: it was River’s final wish that he was fulfilling for her. When our protagonists finally understand John’s motive, a conflict in ethics arises in the decision to erase River from John’s memory. By some miracle, I found myself agreeing with Neil’s stance to let things be and leave the misguided man’s memories alone, while Eva continues to press that it should be done for the sake of the mission like a cold-hearted bureaucrat. I couldn’t believe I was siding with the fuckhead that had been pissing me off to no end for the past few hours, as I shared his devastation when River had vanished from John’s high school days in the blink of an eye. Because John never went on that first date with River, this leads him through a “George Constanza abstinence directive” where he focuses on his studies to become an astronaut now that the possibility of having sex is gone. Once he succeeds and NASA gives him a grand tour of their facility, another recruit named River is there to join him on their mission to tour the moon. Also, this time alteration saves his brother, Joey, somehow. In the ideal timeline that Eva created, he marries his true love after their time spent living their wildest dreams. However, the player does not witness their moon expedition firsthand, for John in the real world flat lines and fades to black. John is buried alongside River next to the lighthouse, and Neil and Eva are given another call for a new patient. By the skin of its teeth, To the Moon yanks out an ending that sincerely tugged at my heartstrings.

I’m not going to be okay for a while now, and To the Moon is to blame. For the longest time while playing To the Moon, I was skeptical of its potency to turn on the waterworks as I had anticipated. Sure, the inherent plot of the game was sad enough to support it initially, but the impact became muddled in too much quippy dialogue from a certain character who almost ruined it entirely. With great patience, I pulled through and experienced the game pulling a buzzer-beater of an ending that made me forget about all that annoyed me beforehand, climaxing the intricate story superbly in something effectively heartwarming. Are the game’s characters a lot to be desired? Without a doubt. Is the gameplay so simple that a chimpanzee could do it? Absolutely. Is everything wrapped up in a package that is perhaps a little too contrived and convenient? You betcha. Still, the gaming medium needs games like To the Moon to prove its narrative potential.
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While I'm at it, the story here is better than Inception. There's your hot take for the day.

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Attribution:// https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

This review contains spoilers

Ever since the release of Super Mario Galaxy, I had always wondered how all of the successive 3D Mario titles would meet it at eye level. After all, what could possibly match the grandiose scope of freely flying throughout the infinite reaches of the universe? Logically speaking, absolutely nothing expands beyond it. While I tout Super Mario Galaxy as Mario’s finest outing across all of his mainline games, putting the plumber in a setting with an indescribably vast breadth where no one can possibly fathom its parameters peaks the franchise conceptually. My worry was that Nintendo had inadvertently squeezed the potential out of their most valuable asset, splurging all the remaining possibilities of a 3D Mario adventure into one intergalactic romp. I’m not considering the sequel to Super Mario Galaxy as proof that Mario hadn’t stagnated because Yoshi is not substantial enough of an addition. Actually, the fact that the green dinosaur was the only crumb of innovation they could implement to Galaxy’s formula is empirical evidence to my claim that it couldn’t be surpassed. The array of Mario games that followed Galaxy decided not to succeed it, but instead to ape the pre-3D classics with a polygonal coat of paint almost as a creatively bankrupt safety net. Super Mario 3D World for the Wii U, on the other hand, is technically not another 2D Mario game rendered with polygons instead of pixels. Still, considering the game features a grid-based world map and narrowly linear levels that all end by climbing a fucking flagpole, it’s a wonder how they could convince anyone that it wasn’t of the same ilk. When Super Mario Odyssey was released as the Mario representative to showcase the new Nintendo Switch console in 2017, I still remained skeptical despite hearing that it reverted back to the collectathon format and that it was receiving the same widespread acclaim not seen since Galaxy 2. It turns out that Super Mario Odyssey still doesn’t attempt to triumph over Galaxy’s magnificence, but that is actually what makes it all the more substantial.

Of course, Odyssey begins with the same general conflict premise as Galaxy. Then again, it just wouldn’t be Mario anymore if Bowser wasn’t swiping up the princess like clockwork, which means my Stockholm syndrome for Mario’s severely overused plot device is finally settling in. The unique context behind Odyssey’s princess-napping is that Bowser realizes like Beyonce that if he likes Peach, he should put a ring on her as a binding, inescapable bond of holy matrimony seen as a steadfast contractual obligation by the law. When Mario confronts Bowser on his decorated ship flying over Peach’s castle in what is the most abrupt introduction to any Mario game thus far, the boomerang swing of Bowser’s white, snappy wedding hat knocks the wind out of Mario and sends him zooming across the skies. He leaves his trusty red cap in the wake of his humbling defeat, which Bowser crushes with the force of his hefty reptilian foot as a finishing blow to Mario’s ego. However, losing one of Mario’s most personal items is more fortuitous than one would think. Mario manages to crashland on “Bonnetown” in the Cap Kingdom, a peculiar place so expressionistic with a whimsically eerie atmosphere that it’s a wonder that Tim Burton’s name didn’t appear in the opening credits. Cap Kingdom is also populated by a society of wispy, ghoulish caps that possibly could serve as substitutes for Mario’s misplaced clothing item. Cappy, the floating pale creature who has somehow retrieved the torn remnants of Mario’s old hat from Bowser’s ship, volunteers to be the new blocker of the sun’s rays to Mario’s dome because his younger sister, Tiara, has also been forcibly taken by Bowser to serve as Peach’s crown during their eventual wedding ceremony. By fusing his ethereal body with Mario’s old cap, Cappy and Mario are now a dynamic duo on a mission to save Peach and his sister from glorified legal enslavement. I suppose the call to adventure is glorious for Cappy but for Mario, it’s just another Tuesday.

While Mario isn’t roaming the cosmos once again, the “odyssey” portion of the title still alludes to a glorious journey nonetheless. Mario is limited to the land this time around and all of its oxygenated, gravitational barriers, but this does not mean that Super Mario Odyssey is a conceptual compromise. The key element from Galaxy retained here is that heightened sense of romanticism that comes with Mario setting off on an adventure. Somehow, for a franchise whose protagonist has soared through the infinite reaches of space twice over, Odyssey’s scale still seems wondrous while sticking to an earthly environment. There is something bourgeois about sailing the skies in a steam-powered vessel in the shape of a red top hat that is granted to you on a convenient whim, a fanciful privilege only rewarded to the king of video games. Mario is a modern-day Philleas Fogg, and the premise of flying around the circumference of the entire world that was once far-fetched when Around the World in Eighty Days was written still retains that sense of spectacle and majesty despite the technological advancements we’ve contributed to air travel. The same could be said for Mario’s personal experiences, finding exhilaration in this venture even after exploring the final frontier. Somehow, for a franchise where one title was vacation-themed, Odyssey exudes a greater atmosphere of laidback breeziness than when he set foot on Isle Delfino. 3D Mario still sustains the elation of traveling abroad, which means Mario is still shirking whatever responsibility he left in the Mushroom Kingdom two decades prior. Is Peach his mistress, or did living with Luigi become intolerable?

The world that Mario is circling via a mechanical, quasi-steampunk piece of formal wear on his quest to rescue Peach is actually the one where the Mushroom Kingdom resides. Unless someone has mapped out the location of Sarasaland or Isle Delfino and determined their geographical placements in relation to the Mushroom Kingdom, Odyssey marks the first time where the player can discern the distance between Peach’s fungal domain and the areas outside of its jurisdiction. Instead of shelling out gobs of money for their wedding like your average poor sap, Bowser uses his kingly persuasion and or strongarm tactics to steal the precious artifacts from the various kingdoms to use as trinkets during the ceremony (wedding cake, soiree bouquet, etc). In the interest of sticking it to Bowser and restoring balance to the upset kingdoms he’s impolitely pillaging, Mario acts as the NATO-esque ambassador from the Mushroom Kingdom and retrieves all of the stolen items rightfully belonging to their defenseless neighbors.

Since Odyssey’s progression involves skimming across the longitudinal plane of an entire planet, one can assume that the seventeen different areas of the game showcase an eclectic range of level themes and topographies. Before you also assume that this premise allows the developers to delve back into the typical fire, ice, desert, etc. world roulette that the Super Mario series created and every conceivable platformer followed, Odyssey seems slightly more clever than to pass by with the bare minimum. Sure, the kingdoms arguably resemble the base elemental motifs that ran the genre into the ground with exhausting overuse. However, a pinch of personality will perk up any and all overused tropes. For instance, the explorable district of the Sand Kingdom, “Tostarena,” borrows inspiration from Latin American culture instead of the ancient Egyptian standstill. A plaza of vibrant, colorful buildings resembling modern Mexican architecture is contrasted with an array of mythically ancient Aztec pyramids and pillars in a dry wasteland of baked red sand. “Shiveria” in the Snow Kingdom looks like a hostile bank of frigid tundra on the surface, but underneath the raging frost is a civilization of rotund, white furballs whose habitable society exudes warmth and comfort. I suppose the closest Odyssey comes to rendering a fire-themed level is the Luncheon Kingdom, with its boiling lake of Pepto Bismol serving as the scorching hazard that surrounds the area. Anyone who would find this gaudy, splotchy kingdom appetizing is either a cartoon alien or they're on some seriously potent dope. I don’t trust that this kingdom has a pleasant aroma of food from Cappy because he doesn’t even have a fucking nose! The highlight kingdom in my personal opinion is the swinging urban “New Donk City,” meant to resemble America’s city that never sleeps. Among the goofy and brainless Sims refugees that populate this city, its less disturbingly realistic mayor should tickle anyone who is knowledgeable about Mario’s history. Mario’s old squeeze Pauline all the way back from when he was coined as Jumpman has moved on from being snatched up by Donkey Kong to a position of prestigious political power. Seeing her after a quarter of a century is like bumping into an old girlfriend from high school, and whether or not her success is life-affirming or a source of envy is a matter of individual perspective, I guess. Overall, Odyssey’s crop of kingdoms is beaming with life and energy, but there are a few duds in the mix. Some are relegated to bounded boss arenas, and the aquatic theming of both the Lake Kingdom and the Seaside Kingdom is redundant. They could’ve been integrated with the elegant mermaid society of Lake Lamode hidden underneath the surface of the carbonated beachfront of Bubblaine like how the “Steam Gardens” of the forested Wooden Kingdom juxtaposed the shadowed core below the mechanized hiking trails above.

Mario’s recurring objective, whenever he docks his aircraft on the ground of any of these levels, is to gather an increasing abundance of fuel to further power his ship. Fuel for the aircraft is harnessed via obtaining power moons that are in the shape of multicolored crescents, a Mario celestial collectible that has also been split in half. A certain milestone of power moons collected also forms another fold of the sail that hoists the ton of top hat machinery up in the sky, suggesting that it can travel to greater lengths with every new addition. That quantity of power moons needed to expand Mario’s trajectory is the primary goal of each level, as the player will be locked onto the current level until the quotient is met. Another collectible also found scattered around the field beside the standard coins is a subsidiary purple currency that tends to be aligned in packs of three and is specifically shaped for each kingdom. Mario cannot convert the darkened currency into gasoline to feed his ship’s engine; rather, they are exchanged to purchase items at a gift shop featured in every kingdom. Mario can change his attire with a hat and torso clothing combo, plant a sticker with an artistic postcard design to decorate the exterior of his aircraft like the back of a laptop screen and spruce up the interior of it with assorted knickknacks. Filling the space of the inner chamber with each level’s memorabilia is a neat way of signaling progress in the game, and mixing and matching Mario’s outfits is just darling. For those few who campaigned against Mario’s sombrero and poncho combo calling it “cultural appropriation,” get a life.

Super Mario Odyssey cuts the approximate number of total levels featured in either of the two Super Mario Galaxy games in half. Despite how this seems on the surface, Odyssey is not a skeletal 3D Mario game compared to its predecessors because of its direction. The growing linearity that both Galaxy titles sought to pursue for 3D Mario’s evolution has been scrapped entirely for Odyssey. Instead, Odyssey adopts a free-flowing open design across all seventeen levels. It’s a fortunate circumstance for Mario that his eccentric vehicle’s fuel source is plentiful and commonplace across all of the kingdoms, so the lengths he must undergo to sustain geographical movability are not arduous in the slightest. In fact, Mario can simply walk a few meters from where he parks his aircraft and find at least a couple of power moons. Odyssey provides a myriad of assorted ways to obtain its main collectible, so many that I have to limit the examples for the sake of brevity. Red doors marked with a dapper, golden top hat symbol are entrances to enclosed, traditional platforming sections where a power moon will be rewarded to Mario at the end, with another often obscured to the side rewarded for diligent searching. Some of these doors are locked behind bouncers who won’t let Mario in until he’s wearing the appropriate outfit, so the clothes are also functional as well as fashionable. Sending Mario down the iconic green pipes will transport him to a section that restricts him to the 2D axis, resembling his spritely self during his early pixelated days. I particularly enjoy these brief swathes of 2D platforming as the pixel art rendered here is so crisp and clean. Mario ascends up the New Donk City equivalent to the Empire State Building entirely in his 8-bit form in a sparkling, 25-year tribute to the classic Donkey Kong game, and the game arguably peaks in quality with this section alone. Minigames, or at least sections that I would consider to be minigames, involve matching the paces of a circle and placing the correct pieces of anatomy on a drawing of an enemy or ally. While these feel like glorified sobriety tests, the fact that they are featured shows the extent of how the game diversifies the objective of finding the power moons, ensuring that it never risks getting stale. Do you want to know what the best part of the collection process is? The pesky boot-out system that plagued the non-linear playgrounds of Super Mario 64 has been omitted entirely, so Mario can collect past the required amount of power moons to his heart’s content. The main quest that each level presents involving the retrieval of stolen goods is merely a suggestion that can be glossed over in favor of other objectives. Finally, Odyssey realizes the potential of 64’s level design after all of its immediate successors practically abandoned it.

Odyssey’s main gimmick is also greatly utilized while Mario explores each level for power moons. Cappy isn’t merely a talking hat to help Mario navigate through uncharted territory with the occasional factoid and quip: he’s as integral to Odyssey’s gameplay as F.L.U.D.D. was in Sunshine. If there is one extraordinary aspect that the already splendorous Galaxy was lacking, it’s giving Mario the ability to possess all sentient beings that surround him. Odyssey gives credence to all the conspiratorial whack jobs wearing tinfoil hats because, without their odd, makeshift headwear, their autonomy is fully squelched by Mario after he flings his hat off of his head onto theirs, with an additional mustache to signify Mario’s presence in their minds. This marvelous addition to Mario’s gameplay isn’t only used a handful of times for a small selection of NPCs: it's necessary to gather the majority of power moons per level. Ever wondered what it would be like to control a number of Bowser’s henchmen? Well, Odyssey unveils that hypothetical possibility, by letting Mario fling frying pans furiously as a hammer bro, break open cages with the charged force of a Bullet Bill, and stack Goombas to attract a female one situated on a perch. Friendlier NPCs can also be controlled, such as a clueless dad in New Donk City who can’t drive an RC car to save his life and a winged lizard who can glide to the ledges of pillars in Tostarena and the isolated islands of the remote Lost Kingdom. Mario can man mobile weaponry such as tanks and slingshots, and force inanimate objects that are obscuring power moons out of his way. For a brief period, Mario can even take control of the enormous T. Rex sleeping in Cascade Kingdom and rampage through its prehistoric waterfalls destroying all of the rock formations that surround it. Must I list more examples after this one? The ability to do so was practically a selling point for the entire game, and I was completely sold on this unique piece of gameplay innovation.

While the massive range of individual objectives per level preserves the player’s intrigue in Odyssey’s gameplay, it ultimately trivializes the game’s difficulty. Thinking of ways to scatter the power moons and implement quirky methods of earning them was probably too ambitious for the developers, so their creative juices evidently ran dry as they started to half-ass the process. Mario can earn a power moon by sitting on a bench with some lonely SOB in New Donk City, twirling his hat on several glowing spikes, and one power moon is purchasable in the section of each kingdom’s gift shop that accepts regular coins. When earning the main collectible boils down to simply purchasing it for a paltry 100 coins, does it really feel like an achievement? Is this the best the developers could come up with to meet some kind of power moon quota? Only a handful of power moons are legitimate challenges that require a reasonable level of platforming skill to obtain. To compound on Odyssey’s ease, all Mario loses when he dies is a measly ten coins. I understand that perhaps a numbered life system wouldn’t work in this open environment, for there isn’t even a hub to eject Mario to upon exhausting all of them. Still, maybe I’d be more incentivized to act cautiously if the penalty of death was a bit steeper. The areas of each kingdom tend to be fairly spacious, so perhaps Mario should be teleported back to the ship as a reasonable punishment and wipe away the whole checkpoint system. I understand that Odyssey places a heavy emphasis on liberal exploration rather than narrow platforming tasks, but lifting the weight of challenges across the board to foster this direction made me disillusioned with the gameplay at times.

I can’t say the game’s various bosses provide too much of a challenge either, but at least they share the admirable levels of diversity and creativity that the high points of Odyssey bestow. Initiating a boss encounter is usually not done by stumbling upon them like a regular power moon. They tend to be integrated with the primary objective looming overhead, and the incentive for defeating is earning a three-piece power moon pack instead of a single one. A recurring encounter found floating menacingly over many kingdoms with their miniature, flying boat are the Broodals: a quartet of anthropomorphic rabbits hired by Bowser to coordinate a slew of things for his wedding. While all the thuggish bunnies exude a rough and tough, low-brow urbanity like they’re an unused gang from The Warriors, each individual Broodal fight couldn’t be any more different from the next. Mario even fights their equally trashy mother a couple of times, who walks around carrying a chain chomp on a leash as the Mario universe equivalent of a middle-aged housewife pampering a pit bull terrier. Other bosses are endemic to the particular world they reside in, such as the stone face of Knucklotec in the catacombs of Tostarena, Mechawiggler scaling the sides of the tall buildings of New Donk City, and Cookatiel flapping its wings over the Luncheon Kingdom’s Mount Volbono volcano. The Ruined Dragon of the forsaken Ruined Kingdom is so photorealistic and darkly intimidating that it’s as if Mario crossed the metaphysical video game boundaries into Dark Souls. While none of the bosses were perilous duels that tested Mario’s might, integrating the possession mechanic into most of these boss battles is an appreciated factor of their high engagement. I especially enjoy using Knucklotec’s own fists to sucker punch him, and shooting the balls off of Mechawiggler’s body with tank shells.

Lest we forget Bowser’s role as the primary Mario antagonist among the crowd of secondary bosses in Odyssey. Similarly to the Galaxy games, Bowser is fought a handful of times before the climactic moment that results in returning Peach to safety. Also like Galaxy, Bowser’s fights are basically the same as the first with additional variations to his attacks to throw Mario off the sense of familiarity. The first fight that Bowser engages with Mario is a detour into the small, secluded Cloud Kingdom, and we’re meant to believe that his final fight will take place at his feudal Japan-themed castle, which is the most inspired depiction of Bowser’s fiery fortress we’ve seen in ages. The true climax where Mario finally conquers Bowser is set in a cathedral erected on the edge of the moon. Talk about a destination wedding! After barging through the towering ivory doors to yell “I object!” like any maverick wedding crasher would, Mario kicks Bowser’s white tuxedo-wearing, neatly combed hair ass so hard for his latest attempt to secure Peach as his property that the cathedral starts to crumble around them. In order to survive the wreckage, Mario does the unthinkable and passes his cap onto Bowser. Yes, for the last segment of Odyssey’s story, the player controls King Koopa himself as the only reliable physical force available to break through the falling debris, and he’s as fun to play as one would expect. Odyssey’s ending may not form an emotional lump in my throat as Galaxy’s did, but the epic closure of racing to the other side as Bowser is satisfyingly epic. Plus, the “bro moment” between Mario and Bowser when Peach rejects both of them as potential lovers at the end is hilariously tender and unexpected.

Flying to the moon to halt Peach’s horrible fate as Bowser’s lawfully wedded wife wrapped up the story of Odyssey nicely, but the game itself is far from over. The first step of Mario’s epilogue is finally returning home to the Mushroom Kingdom after an extensive period away. However, Mario will be working overtime here as the modern rendering of Peach’s castle and the yard surrounding it serve as an entirely new area with power moons aplenty. In addition to the power moons earned through exploration, portals strewn throughout the castle grounds transport Mario to fight the game’s bosses again with a dash of extra challenge seasoned in. Green series staples such as Yoshi and Luigi can also be found roaming the area, and their brief inclusions are enough of a presence so Nintendo doesn’t think to legitimize Odyssey with a whole new sequel where they hog more of the spotlight. What really extends the length of Odyssey to overflowing proportions are the space cubes littered across every single kingdom in the game. Now, when Mario bats these mysterious multidimensional shapes with Cappy, they ignite into the sky and create new power moons that are integrated with those left over from the base game. Engaging with the cubes doubles the amount of power moons per level, meaning that Odyssey’s epilogue is extended to the length of the entire game that the player just finished. One may dismiss Odyssey’s post-game as a case of ludicrous padding. Yet, I genuinely still yearned to collect more power moons after I defeated Bowser, and the flood of supplementary power moons quenched my thirst for more content. Besides, I can choose to collect as many additional power moons as I please at my own pace, and I’m not a strict completionist. For those who are, Odyssey certainly has their work cut out for them.

After a lengthy period of lackluster releases unfitting for Mario’s golden reputation, the Italian pride of Nintendo finally fired on all cylinders with Super Mario Odyssey. By returning to form via the 3D platformer format that used to mark a gigantic release for the plumber, Mario reworks what was perceived as insurmountable by Galaxy’s high standard by tweaking the knobs of collectathon gameplay to something completely untested in the franchise. I’m almost ashamed to admit my short-sightedness in assessing how doomed the attempt of any subsequent 3D Mario game matching Galaxy would be, for basing the core design in a strictly non-linear playground where the player has the freedom to explore without any constraints seems like such an obvious solution. “The possession mechanic” that drives Odyssey’s appeal is so unconventional that no one could’ve anticipated its incorporation into the gameplay, but we’re all delighted by its inclusion. Odyssey is a tad too facile for my liking, even for a series as accessible as Mario. Because of this, I can clearly state that I prefer the format of the previous 3D Mario platformers where earning a main collectible felt more gratifying. Still, Odyssey is more than worthy enough of being uttered in the same respects as its predecessors, something that couldn’t be said about the immediate Mario titles before it.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

If the long-running tenure of James Rolfe’s AVGN internet series is any indication, the NES era was rank with movie tie-in pollution. For some odd reason, video game tie-ins coinciding with the release of a blockbuster Hollywood movie were always utter disasters. Actually, the reason is fairly clear-cut: the developers knew that their games would still sell regardless of their quality, so they barely attempted to grasp the source material or render interesting or engaging gameplay elements to justify the movie’s transition to the medium of video games. The primary culprit to the scourge of cheap cash grabs is LJN, a company that spat out shoddy film adaptations onto the NES console as frequently as a female rabbit gives birth to a litter. The nerd character vindictively referred to the developer’s full name as “laughin’ jokin’ numbnuts,” but the representative L in the acronym should stand for lazy. But as I’ve stated before countless times, licensed video games do not inherently have a crippling handicap that dooms them to disgracing the video game medium or their source material. Perhaps the industry could produce a licensed tie-in game of higher quality under a competent developer, say, Sunsoft? The creators of the acclaimed 2D tank shooter Blaster Master were tasked with adapting Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman smash hit film. Because the gothic and moody Jack Nicholson Joker vehicle was the starting point of taking the caped crusader seriously once again, we couldn't let LJN fuck this up. The reputable Sunsoft was more likely to guarantee that the video game tie-in for Batman’s cinematic comeback wouldn’t impress poorly on it by association, and their choice of developer resulted in something relatively more substantial.

Primitive pixelation prevents the Batman video game from capturing the full cinematic splendor of the movie, so I’d hesitate to call it a loyal adaptation by the fault of the NES’s inhibitions. Still, the game does its damnedest to render the properties of the film with 8-bit graphics, and the still cutscenes of Jack in Joker makeup and the revving Batmobile are actually quite impressive all things considered. When the player is launched into the action of controlling Batman, the graphics are far less refined than that of the rolling clips. Still, Sunsoft understood the crippling limitations that came with 8-bit hardware and wisely chose a direction of effective artistic minimalism. The darkened hues present throughout the levels dim the pixels enough to convey the intended atmosphere without obscuring all of the necessary foreground visuals. Gotham City is still ominous, and the city's various machinations such as the Axis Chemical Factory and Underground Conduit exude enough dangerous industrial sterility. Some may wonder why Batman’s body is entirely blue, considering that brooding Batman is shrouded in black and this is the lighter shade that signifies the campy TV Adam West Batman from the 1960s. If I had to guess, blue Batman better complemented the color scheme of the background as Belmont's tangerine glow did for Castlevania. The NES obviously couldn’t have recreated the film it's adapting, but the few feasible technical elements like lighting and color come pretty damn close to matching its aura.

But we all know the grand appeal of a licensed Batman game is controlling the bat via the potential of the gaming medium, one vicarious leap of immersion beyond putting on his Batsuit and playing pretend out in the yard like the poor saps from generations prior. As it is, Batman already lends himself as an exemplary superhero to be rendered into a 2D platformer game. His spry acrobatics essentially define his superhero aptness in lieu of not possessing any supernatural powers like the rest of his Justice League comrades. They translate fairly well here, especially regarding the wall jump maneuver where Batman’s adhesiveness to parallel surfaces feels less gluey than that of Ryu from Ninja Gaiden. What particularly injects me into the caped crusader’s shoes even more than his innate physical dexterity is the ability to use his array of bat gadgets. The game provides three of Batman’s trusty tools activated by pressing the pause button: the iconic Batarang, the triple-disked dirk, and his spear gun modeled as a blunt rocket launcher instead of an apparatus to aid in scaling tall buildings. Using any of these gadgets will cost the player an arbitrary amount of weapon points, so it’s still wise to keep conservation in mind even though they can be easily replenished on the field. I recommended the Batarang because it allows doubling the damage on reentry for a measly single-number cost. Still, having four different attack options on hand at all times allows the player to diversify Batman’s combative efforts to a great extent.

The player must become well acquainted with Batman’s stacked arsenal to survive the onslaught of Gotham City crooks and diabolical criminals. As par for the course, Batman manages to uphold that blistering NES difficulty we tend to associate with this gaming era. The game is composed of only five levels, so being forced to approach each moment with caution and plan accordingly is the developer’s tactic to ensure that the player gets their money’s worth. Gotham’s collective underbelly has evidently been eating their Wheaties, as Batman struggles to apprehend these seedy bastards more than ever before. Mutant thugs the size of gorillas roaming the watery sewage system pounce on the Bat with animalistic aggression, and the higher ground achieved by the Joker’s soldiers with jetpacks naturally gives them an irritating advantage. Machines are especially ferocious here, with sensory landmines crawling up towards Batman sometimes unknowingly and bulky tanks that I swear have dead-on accurate aiming. Ammunition for the gadgets is precious, so there will be tight moments of melee combat that will more often than not damage the Bat unless the player is as swift as a ninja. Instances of painstaking precision also seep into the platforming, with perilous pits directly below the trajectory and wall jumping sections with hazards on the sides that punish the player severely for simply grazing them with the pointy ears of the Batsuit. I’m thoroughly convinced that the player cannot avoid taking damage while trying to ascend up the cathedral, with its rotating gears crunching Batman’s life bar away at the slightest impact.

Trial and error is the ethos behind Batman’s design philosophy as it is for several other NES games. Fortunately, the game grants the player plenty of opportunity to learn the layout of each level. Batman is given three lives per continue but once he exhausts all of them, which is very likely, the game does not hastily rewind the player all the way back to the beginning. Batman’s levels are spliced into chapters like fellow tough-as-nails 2D platformer Ninja Gaiden. On top of treating these small milestones of progression as checkpoints, Batman adds another layer of accessibility by sending the player back to one of these mile markers upon continuing. I truly haven’t seen an NES game act so accommodating towards the player. It’s practically uncharacteristic of the era. Then again, we’re reminded why the developers were so charitable whenever we play any of the levels and suddenly, Batman doesn’t seem so breezy.

However, upon depleting all of Batman’s lives after facing a boss, the game decides to warp the player back to the level that precedes it. Batman’s bosses are the apex challenge that caps off a level, so the developers figured that their merciful methods would compromise the impact of their encounters. I’d argue what lessens the scope of fighting these bosses is how unremarkable a good number of them are. Batman has been around since the tail end of the Great Depression, so the DC IP has accumulated a smattering of Batman baddies in the half of a century before this game was released. We’re guaranteed that his iconic arch-nemesis The Joker will be featured because he’s the primary antagonist of the 1989 Batman film, but his appearance is obviously going to be reserved as the final boss. What about the supplementary foes on the climb up to The Joker? Naturally, no one will top the mad clown, but the other bosses in Batman hardly even make the C-list of Batman villains. Out of the legitimate villains exhibited here, Killer Moth is the only one of note, and he’s not exactly a VIP contender in the Batman universe. I’m sure some uber-nerd is going to chastise me for not recognizing The Electrocutioner or Firebug, but it’s not as if they’ve ever headlined any Batman media I’ve seen beforehand. Two other bosses involve the dismantling of the Joker’s armed security systems, a robotic series of machines with no personality whatsoever. How exciting for every Batman fan, indeed. I’m not even sure if including The Joker at the end is really a reward because quite a few players won’t reach the game’s climactic peak due to its difficulty. Considering the movie source material is as loose as pocket change, the developers definitely could’ve thrown every Batman fan a bone and included The Penguin, Poison Ivy, Two-Face, etc. just to satisfy the wish of seeing the notable Batman villains rendered in a video game.

Batman on the NES is further proof that LJN simply never bothered to care. With Sunsoft’s superior developing efforts, they crafted a licensed game that came as close to the quality of the film it was using as inspiration. The fidelity to the source material could’ve only stacked up so far considering the primitive gaming hardware they were working with, but captured both the moody atmosphere and basic story premise using the pixels nonetheless. The game is certainly a challenge, but the game is aware of its steep learning curve and shows more mercy than any other NES game would allow. The objective of the film was to make Batman cool again, and the game accomplishes the same mission. It supports more reasons to hang up a Batman poster in your college dorm room rather than one of those neon beer signs or that photo of John Belushi from Animal House.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

The Guardian Legend is allegedly an underrated entry in the vast NES library. I sure as hell had never heard of it before scrounging around the internet and uncovering it among the scrolls of games on Nintendo’s first home console. It’s also apparently the fourth and last entry in a series called Budruga released on the MSX, but this information is Greek to me. Still, its esotericism is what beckons me to play it. The internet promised me that if I burrowed under the surface and brushed past Mario, Mega Man, Castlevania, and all of the other medium molders on the NES everyone is familiar with, I’d be rewarded with an 8-bit title that only so few have had the pleasure of experiencing - a Hellraiser cubic puzzle box of sorts. The curious glow of The Guardian Legend’s reputation as a hidden gem is what allured me towards it, and caving into curiosity resulted in playing one hell of an NES title…for the most part.

The Guardian Legend’s plot is a tad more involved than the average princess-saving narrative fare seen from the utmost high-ranking titles on the NES. In fact, The Guardian Legend has ostensibly taken a progressive, feminist note from Metroid and placed a woman named Miria in the starring role of this galactic adventure. The damsel(s) in distress here is the collective populous of Earth, as they are unknowingly about to be invaded by a whole habitat of hostile aliens whose mothership is their entire planet of Naju. To prevent condemning all life on earth to a terrible fate of either enslavement or total obliteration, Miria must unlock Naju’s self-destruct sequence by rooting around the planet’s ten different corridors.

The game’s direction doesn’t treat this potentially harrowing prospect with gripping urgency, but it’s fitting for a game with constant adrenalized action such as The Last Guardian. Immediately, the player is rocketed (literally) into the first half of The Guardian Legend’s gameplay: a scrolling multidirectional space shooter a la Gradius. Whenever she stumbles into one of these sections, Miria will launch herself into the dim, anti-gravitational pull of space and gracefully fold into a spaceship like a piece of paper into an origami swan. For approximately two to five minutes, she’ll blast through a smattering of Naju’s eclectic ecosystem surviving the onslaught of enemy fire until reaching the level’s boss. If you’ve played any games of this ilk before, The Last Guardian doesn’t offer much that you wouldn’t already anticipate. Still, the effectiveness of this game’s particular usage of this commonly-used mechanic is in its pacing. I generally enjoy the zooming action found in games from this genre, but the repetitiveness that comes with the constant coaction of aiming and dodging tends to overstay its welcome. The short bursts of multidirectional shooting interspersed with other pronounced gameplay elements better ensure my attention is preserved. Plus, after the introduction, the space shooter sections are all allotted to vital points of progression, giving weight to what is usually too superficial with overuse across the genre.

The other half of the gameplay hybrid in The Last Guardian sees Miria traversing through Naju’s grounds. Here, the multidirectional shooting shifts to a top-down perspective where Miria is on foot. Considering the contrast between the two directions, I initially thought that The Last Guardian’s primary influence was Sunsoft’s NES magnum opus Blaster Master. However, The Last Guardian is instead reminiscent of The Legend of Zelda, and not only due to the top-down view we see our protagonist from. Naju’s interior is designed as a labyrinth just as Hyrule was in the first entry of Nintendo’s high fantasy franchise, where its entirety can be mapped out on an X-Y grid (that the developers have fortunately plotted in the menu after Nintendo made the unperceptive choice to omit one). Every new screen that shifts broadly introduces a wave of enemies that are optional to engage with, which leaves goodies for the player if they oblige. The objective hidden across the intricately zigzagging pathways is finding the corridors, which is where Miria launches herself back as a space vessel to shut down its power. Some of these corridors are locked with typical cryptic rubbish common in this primitive era of gaming, so Miria will need some guidance in order to meet her goals. An omniscient guide will constantly be in Miria’s ear to aid her, and he looks like a blue jawbreaker with googly eyes glued onto it as opposed to the archetypal wizened sage that told Link it was too dangerous to prowl Hyrule without a sword in hand. The not inanimate inanimate object also provides wares to Miria in deep corners of the map like a certain old man. Call it derivative, but I fully declare that The Last Guardian uses the hindsight of the first Zelda’s mistakes and improves upon it. Miria’s gun doesn’t jam after losing a smidge of health, and the improved visuals make the map easier to traverse. Still, finding one’s way back to the area with the green astroturf at the center can still be irritating after the blips of interest dissipate when Miria completes her objective. Above all else, setting the space shooter portions as this game's “dungeons” with the Zelda direction provides such a magnificent dynamic between both gameplay types.

Besides her standard blaster, Miria’s inventory of additional firepower is also as stacked as Nintendo’s boy in the green tunic. In the same menu as the map is an array of supplementary weapons that she scrounges up as the game progresses. When one of these weapons is selected in the menu, the player can activate their deadly potency with the opposite button on the controller. It’s recommended to mix the rapid fire of the standard blaster with these auxiliary tools for full effect, as it's liable to blow the enemies to bits much quicker. My weapon of choice was the double-sided lightsaber that stems from both of Miria’s hips as swinging it around in circles made numerous groups of enemies drop like flies. Other alternate weapons include a spinning circle of red death, a fiery laser beam the size of the one that blew up Alderaan, and a juggernaut one that just blows everything on screen to kingdom come. I presume that “EE” stands for “extreme explosion?” All of the alternate weapons translate perfectly to the space shooter sections, which is where the player will likely find them most effective. Offering a myriad of additions to Miria’s arsenal ups the ante of the gameplay variety wonderfully, especially at a time when games had so few actions altogether.

Alas, the glowing praise I’ve been slathering The Guardian Legend with stops here when I discuss the game’s approach to difficulty. Given that it’s an NES game, I never expected the game to give me the grapes of luxury. Still, it should shock and appall everyone when I inform you that if you die once in The Guardian Legend, it’s quite literally game over. No, not offering one continue. One. Fucking. Life. The penalty for dying once erases all progress, forcing the player to start from the very beginning. The Guardian Legend doesn’t borrow the limited continues from the arcades like all of its NES contemporaries that is already harsh as is: it spits the quarters back at the player with the force of a whizzing paintball and tells them to fuck right off. The game does provide the player with constant health items from enemy drops and stat boosts to stave off this untimely demise, but it only does so much to match the brute force of the Naju opposition. The later space shooter levels have a nauseating amount of things on screen that actually slows the frame rate considerably, and some of the bosses are no laughing matter. That red version of the big-mouthed boss with the multiple eyes is actually one of the hardest goddamn fights I’ve ever faced in my years as a gamer. However, not all hope is lost as this game features a password system to save an approximate amount of progress. Still, not only are the passwords overblown, but it seems the developers have attempted to integrate umlauts into the non-existent gibberish lexicon. It’s as frustrating as it sounds, and having to type in this rubbish over and over again diminished the game to practically performing paperwork.

I’d almost like to forget that The Guardian Legend exists. I feel as if I’ve unearthed the video game equivalent of the Arc of the Covenant: an indescribably beautiful presence that melted my face off as a consequence of engaging with it. It’s The Legend of Zelda in a science-fiction setting that manages to triumph over its fantasyland inspiration with some quality-of-life enhancements. The hybrid of multidirectional shooting and the way they are mixed across the game is as delectable a blend as chocolate and peanut butter. However, the bread melding this concoction together in a sandwich is made of glass, bloodying up my gums and causing me excruciating pain. The brazenly cruel difficulty stipulation in The Guardian Legend is a freshly laid turd in my finely shaken cocktail. Try not too hard to visualize that. Still, I have to remind myself that without the turd, The Guardian Legend would be one of the greatest games on the NES, and probably would’ve gone down as such in the history books. Who would do such a thing to ruin something so extraordinary? Why did the turd need to soil it so? Why indeed.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

This review contains spoilers

Don’t you hate those people who ask your opinion on a certain topic just to respond by telling you that you’re wrong? Take these awkward snobs with a grain of salt, for their patronizing way of conducting what is intended to be subjective discourse is ultimately another shot to their feet in their potential social circles. Still, where do they get the nerve? If one of these people asks me what the greatest JRPG of all time is (a rousing inquiry for sophisticated young adults, to be sure) and I answer with Paper Mario, Persona 5, or any of my other favorites that fit the genre description, I’d be sure to receive a look of smug derision and would be duly informed that the correct answer was Chrono Trigger. While I do not entertain endorsing the notion of an objective best across any form of media, the fact that tons of people have credited Chrono Trigger with this title-holder designation is certainly riveting. What is especially astounding is that even people who were born after Chrono Trigger was released are among the ones championing it as the pinnacle of the JRPG genre, and this is the same demographic of gamers that whinge incessantly when Zelda games don’t feature voice acting and when checkpoints aren’t as charitable as a soup kitchen. I don’t mean to generalize (especially upon realizing that I fit the demographic that I’m admonishing), but I never expected those who grew up with 3D graphics to laud a pixelated game on the SNES with such glowing praise in a million years. After finally playing Chrono Trigger when all of the veneration became too widespread to ignore, I think I’m now one of the annoying people who would bolster Chrono Trigger as the king of the JRPG genre to all of those even remotely interested in the gaming medium. Well, okay, I’m not entirely certain that Chrono Trigger has smitten me to that extent. Still, Chrono Trigger is an all-around impressive feat for the JRPG genre.

To think that what is the supposed magnum opus of the JRPG genre was initially going to be another brick in the sky-scraping wall of Final Fantasy titles. Whether or not one actively plays JRPGs, any and all gamers are aware of Square’s series for its synonymity with the genre. Because Final Fantasy is one of the founding fathers of the JRPG genre, its idiosyncrasies molded the facets that everyone associates the genre with, and some gamers like myself tend to find Final Fantasy somewhat disagreeable. The acquired taste of the turn-based combat mechanic is not my core discrepancy: it’s the presentational aspects of Final Fantasy that resonate an uncomforting sickened feeling inside me. Final Fantasy tends to be overwrought with gooey proverbial cheese dripping all over the dialogue and narrative arcs, confounding saccharine melancholy with profundity. To throw off my appetite even further, all of the cornball narrative elements are supported by a presentational flair so bombastic that it’s libel to make me laugh instead of weep as intended. Final Fantasy is the equivalent of a video game soap opera and the fact that the series has run as long as the airtime tenure of any standard daytime television serial hilariously strengthens this comparison. For all following JRPGs rooted entirely in fantasy, the highfalutin balderdash of Final Fantasy has unfortunately seeped into their foundation. This is why I prefer “domestic JRPGs,” my own patented term to describe games in the genre that intermingle fantasy elements in a domestic setting to keep the tone level-headed. Because Chrono Trigger was developed by the same studio as Final Fantasy and bears all of the fantastical hallmarks of that series from a first impression, I readily assumed that I wouldn’t be singing the same high praises for Chrono Trigger upon playing it. Instead, I’d be rolling my eyes constantly as I would with any of the titles in Square’s trademark IP. However, while Chrono Trigger is thematically ensconced in the realm of pure fantasy, the game has a narrative ace up its sleeve that piques my interest: time travel. This tried and true science fiction trope always serves as an intriguing plot device, even though the logic behind it is completely fallacious. Still, centering the plot of Chrono Trigger around the concept of time travel is not what inherently makes the game so exceptional. Hell, Final Fantasy often uses time travel to invigorate its plots or premises. However, Final Fantasy tends to romanticize the idea of time travel and its otherworldly implications as a video game defined by extravagance naturally would. Chrono Trigger differs from its bigger brother at Square by tapping into the existential implications of time travel as its thematic ethos, which makes the premise all the more substantial.

Time is of the essence in Chrono Trigger, which is precisely why the game wastes very little of it in the expository introduction. Like all great adventures, they all begin with our hero waking up to a brand new day in the comfort of their own bed before venturing off to the uncharted beyond. Crono, the spiky-haired teenage hero in question, is suggested to spend his day at The Millennial Fair by his mom for a joyous time playing carnival games and engaging with the other lighthearted attractions on display. This event is held every millennium in the land of Guardia to both celebrate the kingdom’s inception and commemorate the victory of a war held here that took place four centuries ago against the monstrous mystics. Immediately as Crono enters the fair, his skull smacks right into that of a blonde girl named Marle, who insists on following Crono around the fair like a desperate date once he returns her pendant she spilled in the head-on collision. Once Crono and Marle humor the teleportation device built by Crono’s precocious tech-wiz friend Lucca, the process goes awry and sends Marle through a portal that materializes due to the converging power of her pendant and the energy of Lucca’s machine. Once Crono dives into the portal to follow Marle, he finds himself in a comparatively underdeveloped Guardia: 400 years in the past during the peak of the Mystic War that the humans in Crono’s time were speaking of in retrospect as a historical milestone. As an act of oppositional aggression, the mystics have abducted Guardia’s human queen Leene, and her regal cabinet has mistaken her for Marle because she’s a dead ringer descendent. To ensure the human’s triumph over the mystics hasn’t been warped by his sudden disturbance, Crono and Lucca must stay here in the past to proactively rescue the queen and preserve the state of the future. Despite how tempting the strongman game and soda chugging contest are, ignoring the distractions the fair provides and staying on the linear progression path will see Crono fighting imps in Truce Canyon in about five minutes tops. It’s refreshing to see a JRPG prioritize catapulting the player into the action as opposed to a hefty majority of them that take a millennium to get going.

Chrono Trigger is also breathtakingly gorgeous. I realize it’s a surface-level commendation for a game that I’m touting as the cerebral savior of the traditional JRPG game, but I’d be absolutely remiss if I omitted this aspect from my review. I’m a staunch defender of pixelated graphics and their aesthetic legitimacy, but even I had no idea how heavenly they could look until I played Chrono Trigger. Pixel art’s strength is in its endearing quality, but that sense of endearment does admittedly stem from a rough-hewn jaggedness that still persisted with 16-bit graphics. Somehow for a game on a pixel-based console, Chrono Trigger’s visuals are practically free of blemishes. It’s a lucky teenager with silky, clear skin surrounded by a school of peers whose faces are still riddled with acne. The expressive humanity that is often diminished with such a rudimentary rendering of gaming visuals is not compromised, showcased as early as the fun house attraction in a Millennial Fair tent when Crono plays Simon Says with a clone of himself. Lucca’s Gato robot with his own attraction at the fair isn’t displayed here to showcase the combat before Crono is forced to fend for himself as intended: his early encounter is really to show off the gleaming sheen of his red armor that is so crystal clear that Chrono can practically see his reflection as he’s fighting it. The Guardia Forest situated between the royal estate and the mainland guarding the castle like a grassy moat is serenity incarnate, and I’d meditate in its natural glory for the whole game if I reasonably could. A scene as insignificant as the construction site of the Zenan Bridge in the Middle Ages still presents a marvelous backdrop of a shining horizon contrasting with the dark clouds engulfing it, beaming over the still river water. The sublime scenery presented here is a single tear-inducing sight. I’d send it as a postcard to all of my close friends and relatives, rejecting further engagements with them if they couldn’t appreciate the beauty that I’ve generously shared. The overworld map is rendered more one-dimensionally because it serves as a spatial middle ground that connects all of the intricately detailed places of interest. Still, even with the chibi-sized characters moving around the map with the same directional rigidness of a checkerboard piece, the backdrop of the map is still a divine depiction of the enchanted land of Guardia that sends the same awe-stricken tingles throughout my entire body. I always stated that it was a dumb decision to abandon sprite animation almost entirely in favor of stampeding toward the arguably more obtuse-looking early 3D graphics in the next generation. However, I now consider that the industry might have collectively peeked at Chrono Trigger and unanimously decided that no other game could best its pixelated beauty.

Regarding Chrono Trigger’s key gameplay attributes that the astounding presentation supports, the game is a tad less orthodox than the average JRPG churned out from Square. If you’re one of the fussy few who is turned off by the inorganic flow of turn-based combat found across most if not all JRPGs, Chrono Trigger’s approach to the genre’s distinguishing mechanic should quell the complaints from the dissenters. To accent Chrono Trigger’s combat system, I have to bury my sense of shame and inform you all that I was forced to redo the entire introduction at the fair. An imp at Truce Canyon kicked me in the back of the head unexpectedly as I was scrolling through the battle menu and the blunt impact killed Crono on sight (my health was already low because I fought Lucca’s robot for some silver points). I accidentally gave the green, chrome-domed twerp his golden opportunity to smite me because it hadn’t occurred to me that Chrono Trigger’s combat was running in real-time for all combatants. Chrono Trigger’s unique approach to turn-based combat involves slackening the polite parameters that all parties must abide by amid battle, instead opting to have a free-form fling with limited barriers. The player’s handicap that complies with the game’s lenient rules is a white bar that fully depletes after choosing an option from the menu. Once the action has been executed, the selected character will be completely inactive until it regenerates, which can either be an instant charge or a lethargic build-up depending on the character. This cool-down period, of course, leaves them vulnerable to enemy fire, commencing the opposition’s “turn” during battle. I’d debate the issue of whether or not Chrono Trigger’s combat is entirely fair, considering the enemies tend to assault Crono and friends with a barrage of pain and status afflictions seemingly without being tethered by the same regulations. Spamming disastrous spells every two seconds will become a harrowing reality to endure with the bosses in the later period of the game. Still, every enemy’s superior stamina is just another engaging facet of Chrono Trigger’s combat to put into consideration when facing them. Chrono Trigger adds an appreciated frenetic spark to the dry and tired turn-based system with minute adjustments, and the higher energy emulates something more akin to realistic combat without fracturing the JRPG base.

The way in which Chrono Trigger conducts the leveling-up mechanic also splices up the JRPG tradition. While the character’s physical attributes grow stronger in small increments with every level as usual, the game also tracks the accumulation of “tech points,” a separate system that increases in tandem with the standard leveling. After battles are won, the tech points will go towards learning special abilities for Crono and his presently chosen array of pals. For instance, the first ability that Crono can unlock with tech points involves a “cyclone” move that involves using his sword as a makeshift helicopter propeller, and the “slash” move swipes Crono’s sword on the ground as he flings the friction it creates towards enemies as a projectile. These special moves are an asset to targeting multiple enemies, preventing swathes of vulnerability with more enemies on the field. Crono can really expand the blast radius of his offense with his magic maneuvers that also coincide with tech points. Once Chrono and the majority of his partners are trained in the art of witchcraft by the furry mage Spekkio at the edge of time, the player will practically never revert back to regular attacks with these characters. The magic powers between Crono, Marle, Lucca, and Frog run the gamut of electricity, ice, fire, and water respectively, so it's an eclectic range of elemental forces. Chrono Trigger’s true innovation involving the tech points is unlocking “dual techs' which allows Crono to combine his special maneuvers with that of one of his partners, provided both of their bars are simultaneously full. To no one’s surprise, the elemental flair added to Crono’s cyclone and deadly single spincut move proves far deadlier than when executed plainly. But the dual techs don’t only serve to enhance Crono: any two of Crono’s partners can also converge their special abilities to great effect, even Robo and Ayla who are respectively both too primitive and too technological to execute any feats of magic. Any magic user can still slather them in elemental energy for a lethal combination of power. Depending on the roulette of characters in battle and, of course, if their bars are fully prepared, executing a “tri-attack” combines the special offensive properties of three characters to create total devastation. The partner characters can only earn tech points if they are often following alongside Crono for an extended period on the field, so the player is encouraged to change up their party roster frequently. The synergy between Crono and his friends is mechanically deeper than the cast of playable characters in any JRPG beforehand, and mixing up the roster to see the varied extent of the dual techs never ceases to be interesting.

But how can one possibly juggle the collective experience of six different characters at once to maximize all of their individual proficiencies? Well, I did say that a specific character had to be present in the roster to earn tech points, but I didn’t state this was also necessary for overall experience points. Only three characters can teleport through the time rifts at once, an instance of time continuum bylaws fabricated by the developers as a convenient loophole to limit the party. When Crono collects a number of adventurers that exceed this limit, the extras are stored as benchwarmers in a mystical mezzanine ostensibly suspended above the infinite ether of time itself. While the holdovers are here suspended in tranquil nothingness playing cards, Pictionary, or whatever to alleviate their boredom, somehow their idleness will still translate to gaining experience. Sure, any partners fighting alongside Crono will gain as much experience as our protagonist, but all of the other partners sitting around twiddling their thumbs will amazingly be trailing behind in levels ever so slightly. When I realized that my absent party members were not deprived of experience points upon returning to them at the end of time, I was relieved beyond belief. A prevalent insecurity common among JRPGs is their pension for having the player undergo painstaking grinding sessions to artificially pad out the length of the game. For once, Chrono Trigger is a JRPG that is confident in its estimated runtime and does away with what I consider to be the most unappealing aspect of playing a JRPG. If only Chrono Trigger set an example for future JRPGs in this regard. On the whole, it’s yet another merit of Chrono Trigger’s general accessibility. Healing items for both health and magic are always in abundance whether or not the player is proactively opening every chest on the field or buying them in bulk at the shops across any period. The gold currency needed to purchase these helpful wares is rewarded in surprisingly hefty quantities after every battle, and the player can possibly heal themselves and their entire party at once with a “shelter” item whenever they spot themselves on one of the various save states that are generously placed around every enclosed area. The player will never become attached to one basic weapon or armor accessory because the game will consistently provide new and improved models and fashion for all characters. One might gather all of this information and make a deduction that Chrono Trigger is as revered as it is because it’s so accessible to the point of being effortless. However, Chrono Trigger staves off being baby’s first JRPG by inflicting dire punishment for mistakes during battle, with enemy damage totaling up to numbers in the hundreds if the player isn’t honing their battle strategy. The diverse defensive properties across all of the enemies also require risk-taking and observation to always keep the player on their toes.

With a game so manageable, why would Crono need a ragtag team of time travelers to provide an extra elemental kick to his sword swings? One of Chrono Trigger’s greatest strengths is the rich level of depth and personability found among all its characters, especially those with elongated exposure in Crono’s RPG party. If an RPG party is intended to be an eclectic Breakfast Club band, Chrono Trigger’s primary cast is as diversely colorful as a rainbow. Firstly, Marle is not the typical damsel in distress like the game establishes her in the beginning. Sure, her hyper-feminine demeanor fits the bubbly blonde female trope like an elegant opera glove on a starlet’s arm, and discovering she’s Guardia royalty doesn’t aid my point. However, Marle’s dissatisfaction with high society and reject her regal birthname of Nadia as she tells her kingly father to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine shows more autonomous spunk than her dainty upbringing would normally warrant. For context, Marle isn’t rebelling against her family because of teenage angst, for that wouldn’t be atypical for her gender or age. She’s infuriated that her family's cabinet sentenced Crono to be executed by the state for simply bringing her home from captivity and the trial beforehand where this sentence was decreed cherry-picked from the trivial actions Crono committed in his brief stint at the Millenial Fair in the introduction. Being judged for the most minor of misconduct during this sequence was genuinely appalling and hair-raising, and I’m glad Marle sided with justice rather than the comfort of her privileged status.

Existing in the same “modern” period of Guardia as Crono and Marle is Lucca, the only partner character that already has an established relationship with the protagonist prior to the events of the game. If you ask me, the brainy, asexual girl trope is as overused as that of the girly-girl, and placing Lucca alongside Marle practically exudes a stark Velma and Daphne dynamic far too commonly seen among groups of characters (that involve women in the first place). While Lucca’s backstory isn’t as involved as Marle’s, frequent visitations to her house and interactions with her dad for Lucca’s armor upgrades give Lucca a human warmness that the aloof, calculating character trope she falls under usually rejects. Witnessing how her mother lost her legs in an industrial accident and the palpable trauma from Lucca’s reaction is genuinely heartbreaking.

Reaching beyond the confines of modern times allows Crono to expand his party past two neighbor girls to seriously wild possibilities. The most paradoxical pairing in Crono’s party is Ayla and Robo, two characters whose interactions are so absurd that their close proximity that Crono has caused with his time philandering should fracture the space-time continuum into itty bitty pieces. Ayla is a cavewoman from the ripe dawn of human civilization, while Robo is a clanking bucket of bolts from humanity’s bitter epilogue. Ayla is aggressive and blunt, solving her problems by hitting them like an ankylosaurus while Robo is neutral and impersonal as one would expect from someone programmed with artificial intelligence. The commonality these characters share is they are both fishes out of the water from the absolute parallel of ponds, and their exposure to modernity fosters domestic growth for both of them. Lucca’s character arc intertwines with that of Robo in that their mutual mechanical aptitude evolves into pure, platonic affection, a result unexpected with these two particular characters.

By far, the most complex and tragic of Crono’s posse is Frog, an anthropomorphic amphibian who daylights as a knight in the queen’s service during the Middle Ages. Like someone who carries the honor of this noble duty, Frog is loyal to a T and will happily die to protect the monarchy that governs his land with unbridled enthusiasm while speaking the king’s English with full affectation. If he does, it wouldn’t be as tragic as what actually happened to him. Until the game’s halfway point, the player will probably wonder if seeing a talking frog means that hopping from period to period has had a dizzying mental effect on Crono and his friends. We discover that Frog was once a human named Glenn who initially joined the queen’s service in the fight against the mystics to toughen up his overly sensitive interior alongside his best friend Cyrus. Once Cyrus is fatally stricken by the Mystic leader Magus, the dark fiend transforms Glenn into a frog as an adjunct act of cruelty. Once we’re privy to Frog’s backstory, we come to understand his tentative quirks and empathize with his willingness to destroy Magus.

From a certain perspective, one could argue that the setting of Guardia is the unspoken champion of complexity across all of Chrono Trigger’s characters. As the game progresses, every bandage that obscures the fascinating history of the fantasy land is unraveled, peeling back the mystique by visiting the six notable periods. How Chrono Trigger’s story progresses is the accumulative gathering of more context on Guardia’s past, present, and future, and is brilliantly constructed in a non-linear fashion where each period has a primary arc that is completed incrementally in conjunction with all of the others. Because Chrono Trigger’s plot hops around like a cocaine-addled rabbit, it’s imperative to discuss each period individually from the least amount of insight to the most.

1000 AD is the year of Guardia’s present day, and all seems a little too well. For those pedantic types, yes, 1000 AD in reality’s timeline is still smack dab in the Middle Ages. In Chrono Trigger’s timeline, their victory over the mystics in 600 AD allowed their Renaissance period to ignite much sooner. Because Guardia got a head start, their period of humanistic prosperity is far more advanced if Lucca’s robot and the steamboats floating in their harbor are any indication. Some might point out anachronistic errors, but Guardia is ultimately still a fantasy world not confined by historical accuracy. Besides, the wooden, old-world aesthetic of 1000 AD with the prevalent technological advancements here strikes a wondrous, timeless ambiguity that somehow fits, emulating that brand of Hayao Miyazaki magic found in the worlds he creates for his films. The aura here is elated like a Miyazaki world because everyone has let their guard down for 400 years. Celebrating the milestone of winning the war seems redundant because every day here seems like a celebration of the peace and prosperity they’ve earned. That is, the cheerful and nonchalant attitude is only felt in Leene Square where Crono, Lucca, and Marle reside along with their fellow humankind. One boat ride from Leene away on the island of Medina is the district of the mystics, who are still simmering over their defeat four centuries ago and are waiting for their day of retribution. The atmosphere here is one of disquieting tension, establishing that the conflict between the humans and the mystics is far from over and will be a recurring conflict throughout the game.

Reverting back to the climactic peak of the Mystics War back in 600 AD gives Crono and pals more insight into what actually occurred that allowed them to live in peace, especially since the onus to facilitate that outcome is now on them because of time adulteration. The one distinctive signifier that separates Guardia in the Middle Ages from the present is a hazy mist engulfing the land, and the wooden architecture across all civilizations is also less refined. The prevalent fogginess probably represents that unrest is ubiquitous during war times, which is then expounded on with every scene in this time period aiding the war effort with intense bouts of combat. Here, we meet the Mystic generals that the modern-day mystics practically lionize: Ozzie the portly, green tactician, the purple, sword-wielding Slash, and the non-binary Flea. With the ominous Magus as their commander, taking down these four major figures of the Mystic War is paramount to bringing about a better tomorrow for mankind. Upon restoring the mythical Masamune sword that Cyrus once owned, the climatic segment of the war where Crono and pals infiltrate Magus’s intimidatingly spooky castle to defeat him and his cronies is a harrowing highlight.

Restoring balance to the timeline in the Middle Ages is not where Chrono Trigger ends as some probably expected from the beginning. The valuable information we learn from visiting prehistoric Guardia before it was named as such is that primordial versions of both the humans and mystics have been waging war with one another since unicellular organisms emerged. Between the untamed Pangea jungles and sites of active volcanoes lies the conflict between Ayla’s tribe of unadorned Neanderthals and mystics with dinosaur phenotypes called the Reptites. The Reptites antagonize the primitive humans to secure their place at the top of the proverbial food chain, for their leader Azala is aware that the cataclysmic comet that wiped out the dinosaurs is approaching and wishes that her non-human ilk reign supreme in the future centuries. Of course, Crono assures the opposite when his party defeats Azala, setting the human-dominating precedent that will persist for millions of years into the future.

For those whose history knowledge needs to be dusted off from their high school years, the colossal impact of the meteor slowly but surely led to the blisteringly brutal and fallow ice age that rendered the earth in a seemingly perennial blizzard. From each time period so far, we’ve only seen a skewed perspective that the humans are the moral heroes and the mystics are just incorrigible scoundrels. During the coldest era of the earth’s history when the mystics evidently scurried elsewhere, we get a taste of the humans acting maliciously towards each other. When Guardia is frozen over, human society is split in two. The impoverished half of the human race are referred to as “earthbound ones,” staving off the harsh effects of their permanent winter underground wearing nothing but rags caked with dirt as a defense. Meanwhile, on the total opposite spectrum, the Kingdom of Zeal shadows the frostbitten earth in a chain of islands suspended in the sky. Not only is the weather outside not a concern here, but the scientific and or technological accomplishments of this erudite society dwarf anything found in present-day Guardia. Besides the obvious class imbalance, an unattractive, elitist attitude against the downtrodden earthbounders persists among the Zealites. Despite their illustrious image and scholarly repute, the people of Zeal are downright rotten. The Queen of Zeal’s power trip is so potent it verges on psychosis, and her assistant Dalton is a strong contender for the most unlikable douchebag in gaming. Revealing a malevolence among the people of Zeal provides a nuanced perspective that aids how the player perceives the age-old conflict between humans and mystics.

Alas, all of the fighting amounts to nothing as eventual ruin takes over in the only future period of Guardia the player can explore in the far-off time of 2300 AD. To escape the corrupt law of the present day after Crono’s trial, Crono and pals jump into a time warp portal to a strange land that barely resembles the once glorious kingdom of Guardia. Somehow, even with the frigid dark ages as an available window of time to peer through, Guardia in the 24th century surpasses it in squalid depression. Guardia is depicted in a state of total apocalyptic stillness, with a current of dust eroding away from what was once the prosperous foundation of futuristic Guardia blustering all over the land as violently as the gusts of dark age snow. All of the color is muted in a muddy brown, and all erected modern structures have completely collapsed into the streets below. The civilization remaining in this vacant hellscape resides in a series of domes, a marvel of architectural innovation before the apocalyptic event occurred. All they do to pass the time is lie around in the musty smog of each dome’s interior waiting for a fatal hunger pang brought upon by the everlasting famine to put them out of their misery. In addition, the robots they’ve built, Robo’s models, are planning a robot uprising against the poor humans in the assorted factories located in between the domes. Stating that Guardia’s future is bleak is the understatement of the century. However, I suppose it’s not all bad considering this is where Crono and the gang uncover the Epoch, a flying time-traveling aircraft built by the time guru Belthasar that renders the drag of warping through each time portal obsolete. The Epoch is so cool and convenient that it should be uttered in the same respected breath as the Starship Enterprise and Millenium Falcon for iconic science-fiction vessels. Then again, that street race mini-game against the rogue robot Johnny here is the most objectively flawed aspect of the entire game, so the future all around still sucks out loud.

However, the various feuds between the varying two factions across Guardia’s history are not what eventually doomed it. All of the conflict was merely a distraction masking the true culprit of Guardia’s demise: an eldritch monster named Lavos who exists to parasitically absorb its chosen planet’s life force and render it desolate and barren. Apparently, Lavos’ plans to suck the earth dry is a longcon scheme, for its arrival is actually the asteroid whose impact ushered in the dark ages. In what is the earliest instance of Y2K hysteria across all media, Lavos awakens from its slumber beneath the planet’s crust in 1999 AD, flooding the world in inescapable destruction and leaving it forevermore in the state we see in 2300 AD. Knowing its devastating potential, the governing officials of Zeal attempt to abruptly summon Lavos to harness its power. Naturally, this attempt to flirt with incomprehensible energy goes horribly awry and blows the Kingdom of Zeal to smithereens. Crono ends up saving his friends from the almighty force of Lavos by sacrificing himself, causing the origin point of the time portals from the immensity. Lavos is a truly, terrifyingly intimidating cosmic force in the size and in the scope that the narrative establishes for him, making the player wonder if stopping him to save the future is a futile task.

“Did the developers just pull an Alfred Hitchcock and kill off the main character far before the falling action of the story?” I asked myself in complete shock after what had just occurred. Once the player picks themselves off their feet and control Marle as the primary party member, the dire implications of this change start to sink in. The final portion of Chrono Trigger is what I like to refer to as the “sidequest extravaganza” because the game can either end with finally tackling Lavos for real by either traveling to 1999 AD directly or finishing off the remnants of Zeal by dredging through the Black Omen dungeon which eventually leads to a more manageable Lavos encounter. Or, the player can engage with seven separate sidequests to prolong the game to a fifth of its initial length. I highly suggest humoring these sidequests not only because they reward the player handsomely with the best weapons and gear, but also because they provide essential closure to the arcs of each partner character. Glenn lays his buddy Cyrus to rest, Robo halts the computer menace, and the chancellor that sentenced Crono to the guillotine is revealed to be the direct descendant of the game’s first boss on a secret revenge mission during Marle’s sidequest. After all, the player should ideally be incentivized to prepare thoroughly to fight Lavos, and his four-stage fight will wear on the player even with the most efficient gear. How much the player is willing to do during the final stretch will also coincide with the ending they receive, and there are an impressive number of outcomes. It’s outstanding how much the player’s decisions here will affect the game’s resolution.

What resonates with me upon finishing the final section of Chrono Trigger is that our protagonist, Crono, doesn’t matter. Crono is intended to be the heroic avatar that is destined for glory, giving the player that sense of gratification. However, he disintegrated before our very eyes and the game still continues without him as par for the course. Hell, Magus, who turns out to have always been campaigning against Lavos and not for supporting his return because of what happened in Zeal on that fateful day, makes for a fine Crono surrogate if the player doesn’t allow Glenn to decapitate him to avenge Cyrus. Simply incorporating Magus as an ally is an insult to Crono’s memory, but only if you stubbornly persist with the idea that Crono is the focal point of the story. One of the endgame sidequests is a roundabout excursion to resurrect Crono, putting the clone from the fair in place at the pinpoint moment of Lavos’ attack on Zeal. Even though he returns, he no longer has a solid spot as the unchangeable leader and can be swapped out for anyone. We start to wonder what the ancillary mute is doing here among a group of characters who are vastly more interesting than he is. The inconsequential impact of Crono’s death on the plot conjures up the idea that perhaps nothing matters. The endless power struggle between those who reside on this planet will ultimately prove a stalemate because time is a cruel mistress that will end everything eventually. Time is a relative constant that waits for no one, not even those who are deemed important. It is the grand extinguisher across the cosmos. Chrono Trigger doesn’t romanticize the premise of time travel like other JRPGs: it treats the concept with honesty, causing uncomforting thoughts and feelings of one’s own mortality to creep in. It’s a scary byproduct of really effective art.

Chrono Trigger was a labor of love between three Japanese industry giants, and the goal of their painstaking efforts was to create something extraordinary that would blow the balls off of every gamer who purchased it or they would get a money-back guarantee. Well, call me a eunuch because this customer, along with several hundreds of thousands of people, is satisfied completely. By all means, Chrono Trigger should’ve alienated myself and other JRPG sticklers because of its inherent Square makeup and the fantasy premise and setting still scream that it's a Square game. However, beneath the surface, Square takes all that I find fault with Final Fantasy and commits an act of defenestration with it, starting anew from the ground up. Chrono Trigger takes turn-based combat to an unparalleled heights of involvement that is as smooth as a Guinness stout, all while trimming the fat of grinding found in most JRPGs to a sleek and slender accessibility that will still not deter the genre’s biggest enthusiasts. In an era where gaming narrative was still elementary at best, Chrono Trigger provides a story with charismatic characters handling an intelligent story involving the convoluted premise of time travel with no plot holes to be found. Goddammit, no wonder why Chrono Trigger is lauded so innumerably: the game is void of any flaws. Given that it’s a product of an era where we were still tolerating the primitiveness of a relatively new medium, the fact that Chrono Trigger supersedes all of its contemporaries to this degree is astonishing beyond words. In the almost three decades it's been since Chrono Trigger was released, the cruel mistress of time still hasn't depreciated its masterpiece status.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

My mission regarding my playthrough of Castlevania: Circle of the Moon was to ascertain why this game garners a considerable amount of ire from fans of the franchise. The initial impression I had was that classic Castlevania fans were dogpiling on the game because it solidified the Metroidvania direction that Symphony of the Night established to colossal critical acclaim, leaving the foundation of the traditional 2D platformer that made the series a contender for pixelated greatness condemned indefinitely. Then I had to remind myself that this dissension between the two Castlevania eras is a feud I fabricated in my head, as all fans of the series love Symphony of the Night. My next consideration was that while Circle of the Moon is a successor to Symphony of the Night, it disappointingly did not surpass its Metroidvania mold. However, this was not due to everyone’s high expectations. Circle of the Moon was developed for the Game Boy Advance as a launch title for the last handheld system that branded the Game Boy name. If the Castlevania games on the original Game Boy are any indication, the gothic games sacrificed a heaping load of quality for the sake of mobility, seemingly more so than any NES series that offered a few games on the go. I wondered if a mobile version of Metroidvania Castlevania would suffer due to the downgraded system capabilities and upon playing it, I hit a bullseye as to where the scorn for this game stems from. However, because of my discovery, I do not support the contempt for this game wholeheartedly.

Castlevania’s timeline is as scatterbrained as some of the series over at Nintendo, but I’m at least granting it a smidge of credibility due to Castlevania planting new characters across the century-spanning lore as opposed to the same character in Metroid and a reincarnated form in Zelda. As far as Castlevania is concerned, Circle of the Moon takes place in modern times during the industrial era, almost as close as when Bloodlines set itself in the same century as when it was released (misleading, but technically true). Circle of the Moon’s dashing Van Helsing protagonist is neither a Belmont nor Alucard waking up from yet another one-hundred-year dirt slumber to take down his dear old dad once again. The silver-haired Nathan Graves and his chum Hugh Baldwin are trekking through the cobweb-covered corridors of Dracula’s estate, for Nathan’s guru in the profession of vampire slaying, and Hugh’s father, Morris Baldwin, is about to be sacrificed to the vampiric lord to reinvigorate his foreboding power to its full extent. The duo also have to contend with Dracula zealot Camilla who resurrected the count and is working the operations of his grand return. Unfortunately, after falling for what feels like fathoms below the estate’s entrance, Hugh diverges from Nathan and leaves Mr. Graves on his lonesome to search for their seasoned sensei. Did the previous Castlevania titles introduce the premise with this much character exposition, or is this a new development to signify how the series has progressed? The player gets a better understanding of what is occurring better than scrolling text, that’s for sure. I’d also like to add that there is no cheesy voice acting thanks to the GBA’s relatively primitive nature as a handheld, so everyone can at least approach the text dialogue with a hint of sincerity.

Once Nathan finds himself under the floorboards of Dracula’s foyer, he never really hoists himself back up to the surface to correct his error. Naturally, Circle of the Moon is still a Metroidvania that administers the procedural design philosophy we expect of it. However, the grand breadth of Dracula’s castle that the genre fostered in Symphony of the Night isn’t exuded here. Sure, pressing the designated map button to look at Circle of the Moon’s layout will conjure up comparisons to Symphony, but actually excavating through the interior will convey that our prince of darkness is in another castle. Circle of the Moon’s castle is a dingy depiction of Dracula’s manor, and this isn’t only due to the fact that the GBA couldn’t compete with the pixelated graphical fidelity of the original PlayStation. Every corner of Circle of the Moon’s estate is comparatively minimal to what Symphony offered in terms of its visuals. Backgrounds are no longer detailed with lavish, ornate decorations that exude an aura of opulence. The color gradience of the foregrounds also tends to blend in with that of its immediate surroundings, an aesthetic choice that deviates from what made even the earliest Castlevania games on the NES striking. Circle of the Moon’s presentation is very matter-of-fact, which shrinks the scope of the overall objective. Take a drink every time you come across a new section of the castle that begins with an “underground” descriptor, which should imply that the areas are relatively restrained by their geographical submersion. Even the outdoor sections on the other vertical end of the spectrum are compact as courtyards instead of rooftop attics that span the perimeter of the castle. All in all, the Metroidvania map and the askew linearity that comes with it are not tainted by Circle of the Moon’s direction. Still, it obviously lacks the panache that gave Symphony its allure.

One could argue that a claustrophobic Castlevania map is an attempt to complement the Metroid half of the genre’s portmanteau, emulating the choking tension exuding from Nintendo’s sci-fi series. While this theory is entirely up to speculation, an overt attempt Circle of the Moon takes to recall another game is reverting to its own roots. While Nathan Graves shares no lineage to the iconic Belmont clan, you’d sure as hell be fooled by his moveset. Circle of the Moon reverts to the vampire-slaying weapons found in the classic, traditional 2D platformer Castlevania titles. Nathan cracks his whip with the same pent-up hesitation as Simon and Richter once did, and all of the subweapons such as the holy water, daggers, and axes are accounted for as well. Perhaps Nathan read up on the historical achievements of the Belmont clan and deduced that their arsenal was the most effective roulette of tools to use against the throngs of the uncleansed. His assumptions proved correct, as the sub-weapons tend to dish out a heaping load of damage to the enemies, especially the boomerang crosses. Good thing the hearts have also been reverted to ammunition because the subweapons are lifesavers. Still, I wish Circle of the Moon hadn’t digressed to the stiff controls of the classic Castlevania titles. This isn’t an issue on a fundamental level, but complications arise when Nathan executes any of the special moves that unlock obscured areas of the castle. Trying to run by pressing either directional button twice was especially finicky. Hopping from a wall to a platform above or to the other adjacent surface was always a rigid stunt, and catapulting Nathan about a hectometer straight in the air always had the potential for disaster. When the Metroidvania features complicate the 2D platformer base, the Castlevania stiffness is less forgivable on any console that succeeds the NES.

Of course, the items of old are organized like Symphony’s RPG menu, complimenting the methodical gameplay of the Metroidvania game. Hearts of varying amounts can be replenished from the pickups, and the roasts that heal Nathan have to be selected from this menu whenever Nathan is in a pinch. One new feature that is arguably Circle of the Moon’s main point of innovation that is also organized in this menu is the card system. On rare occurrences when defeating an enemy, they will leave behind a card whose description will be detailed in a subsection of the menu. One row of these cards features Roman Gods/planets of the solar system while the bottom row all have serpents and chimera creatures from ancient mythology. Selecting a combination of one card from both rows will ignite a fusion of special properties that are triggered by the left bumper on the GBA. The combination can either accentuate the whip’s offense or boost Nathan’s defense, which can be applied for seemingly an inexhaustible period. However, the real coup de grace involving the cards is the spells they can create. Similarly to Rondo of Blood, executing the spells with a button combination will unleash a fury of vengeance that eclipses the entire screen and decimates in the vicinity, provided the player has enough magic to execute the maneuver. While the prospect of such devastation is enchanting, only a few of the card combinations will allow the ability to cast a spell, and the button combinations needed to pull them off are just as finicky as the basic controls. Still, it’s a pleasant sight seeing a feature return that has surprisingly only been implemented once across the series thus far, and having it coincide with a whole new system gives the player more incentive to seek out more than the game offers outside of standard progression.

I recommended abusing the power of the cards because if there is one thing that Circle of the Moon borrows from the classic Castlevania games, it's the difficulty. Holy jumping Jesus, is Circle of the Moon a bitch on the ol’ patience threshold. Nathan isn’t epically restrained by his mortal status as a human being instead of an androgynous, quasi-immortal creature from gothic folklore. All the same, I wish that Alucard could intervene and maybe transfer his undead abilities to Nathan via a toothy neck peck so he could evade all of the obstacles surrounding him. It’s not as if the enemies in Circle of the Moon are any less deadly than those in Symphony. The problem stems from the spacious placings of the save rooms, which are few and far between in this castle. Uncovering an uncharted area does not mean that the player will soon mark their discovery with the save function like it did with the abundance of these rooms found in Symphony. The save rooms also tend not to be in a close shot of any of the boss arenas, which are the crux of crushing the player. Cerberus, the very first boss, is erratic and unpredictable, and any contact with the three-headed wolf is imminent considering his gigantic size and ferociousness. Biblical goat demon Adramelech overwhelms the player with poison bubbles that litter the field, and the GBA screen can barely fit both the heads of the colossal Twin Dragons. Both Death and the encounter with narrative-centered Camilla tease the player’s supposed victory with a second phase. It’s so disheartening defeating these monsters with a microscopic sliver of health left only to perish by the slight rubbing of a projectile skeleton bone and reverting back to before the bosses were conquered, something that happened one too many times for comfort. Nathan also isn’t inherently impeded by the whip, but another reason why Symphony was a comparative walk in the park is that Alucard could always swap his blade for a stronger one if the player kept up with finding loot. Because Nathan is restricted to one weapon, his ease with these bosses is contingent on his level, which, of course, unfortunately, involves a grinding session or two to survive.

Because all of the bosses before him made me pant and wheeze like an elderly dog, I was absolutely dreading Dracula’s encounter that I knew would wrap up Circle of the Moon. After literally knocking some sense into Hugh, the key behind him unlocks the sealed door where Nathan falls, in the beginning, to finally face Dracula. What I didn’t expect was that his first phase would be a breeze, almost a complete joke. However, considering this is the first Castlevania game that allows the player to prepare even further, I knew the others would wipe the smug grin off of my face immediately, In a haze of dark surrealism, Dracula sheds his cape and reveals his final form: a bulky purple beast with what resembles the Xenomorphs from Alien as his intimidating flair. His first phase here features flame spread that can be dodged easily, but I’m pretty certain the meteors that rain down from the heavens are totally unavoidable. His second phase pushed my patience to its absolute limit because I could only hit the traveling eyeball core at scant opportunities because of his fucking bat entourage that is always guarding him. Drain that magic meter with spells like with the urgency of someone having a gun pointed at your head. After this grueling fight that took me over ten minutes on my one successful attempt, I’ll be seeing bats attacking me like an alcoholic experiencing symptoms of withdrawal.

I think Circle of the Moon was designed for the classic Castlevania fan who felt forsaken by Symphony of the Night and its radical deviation from the early format in favor of a Metroidvania experience. Konami wasn’t apologizing for launching the series in a new direction, and Circle of the Moon is their attempt to compromise. In execution, however, the reason why Circle of the Moon isn’t a lauded title in the series is that it isn’t all that exceptional on either front. It’s too difficult and less RPG-based for fans of Symphony, and the GBA hardware dilutes the Metroidvania elements that classic Castlevania fans already didn’t care for. However, despite times when I wanted to thrust a cross through my console out of pure frustration, I thoroughly enjoyed my Circle of the Moon experience. My one gripe with Symphony despite it being my favorite game in the franchise is that it was missing some of the attributes that I liked from the typical 2D platformers, and this game translated the weapons from those games fluidly. Hell, maybe I experienced a nostalgic sensation from being constricted to the crooked controls and bludgeoned by the bosses as the classic series once did to me. Mark Circle of the Moon down as an example of an acquired taste in the Castlevania series.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.”

Although Capcom probably didn’t present this infamous quote from The Six-Million Dollar Man during their pitch to make Mega Man X, a parallel can still be connected to recrafting Steve Austin with information age advancements and the blue bomber’s shift to the SNES console. For too long, Mega Man was held back on the elementary hardware of the NES console with a whopping six titles that prolonged the lifespan of Nintendo’s first console far past its twilight years. The franchise managed not to disgrace itself with six subsequent outings, but the last two titles admittedly teetered with everyone’s engagements after the series peaked mechanically with Mega Man 4. The solution to the growing disinterest in the franchise that truly made Capcom a contender for video game developer royalty was so obvious that all of the gaming consumers probably thought of it far before the company held their first meeting discussing it, wondering if they were mute judging by how long it took for their echoes to reverberate to their offices. It was finally time for the blue bomber to evolve and join its 2D platformer contemporaries on the new and improved Nintendo console of the day. If the SNES could facilitate the blossoming of fellow debut NES franchises such as Mario, Castlevania, and The Legend of Zelda from stumpy and rugged, albeit charming and determined caterpillars, into beautiful, graceful butterflies, then certainly Mega Man’s metamorphosis should ideally prove successful as well. Fortunately, I’m happy to report that Mega Man X isn’t merely a fresh coat of 16-bit paint splattered onto Mega Man’s gleaming, azure 8-bit armor that has been weathered across six adventures: it’s another hard reboot that reworks Mega Man’s mechanics with 16-bit splendor, resulting in something spectacular.

We’re all used to the linear climaxes in Dr. Wily’s castle acting as the swirling giraffe neck of every Mega Man adventure, but what about a prologue level on the opposite side of the narrative spectrum? With no context, Mega Man X catapults our plucky hero into the action of some frantic scene on the streets of a nameless futuristic city. Mega Man blasts through tank units, robots with long, ropey legs, and wasp bots hovering overhead as the urban foundation of the setting crumbles beneath his feet. Plumper wasp units ambush Mega Man as more durable minibosses, offering specks of formidability at such short notice. While making quick work of the enemies on the steel, city architecture may make the player feel like a badass, Mega Man is humbled at the prologue’s culmination point when he is beaten senseless by the purple mech of Vile, an apt nickname for a villain character if there ever was one. As he’s about to have his life function strangled out of him by Vile as he’s writhing in staticky agony, a red ally robot named Zero pops out and saves Mega Man before he’s about to take his last breath. Zero then proceeds to lecture Mega Man that he’s got a lot to learn before he becomes a valiant hero, judging from the tragic scene that almost occurred. Letting Mega Man potentially fail in his heroic duties at the hands of the enemy implies that the stakes far outweigh that of the classic Mega Man fare and that the SNES advancements have granted the series a deeper layer of narrative complexities.

How bruised Mega Man’s ego must be after needing Zero to come to his rescue, for his redesign looks as serious and sternly determined as if he’s aiming to be a Medal of Honor recipient. Actually, before I become too accustomed to a bad habit, the reason why the Mega Man in Mega Man X vastly deviates from the charming, boyish expressions of the classic iteration is because this one is an entirely different character altogether. Mega Man X is set in the 22nd century, approximately one hundred years after the general period during all six Mega Man games on the NES. Every single facet of the Mega Man world we’ve come to know, both the good and evil of it, is now a buried relic of the early years of the futuristic digital age. The metaphor of how distant the days of the NES Mega Man are becomes literal when scientist Dr. Cain unearths this upgraded model of Mega Man, simply referred to as “X” from the ruins of Dr. Light’s laboratory. After living through the era where robots were modeled as vacant puppets designed to perform manual labor, Dr. Light’s progressive consciousness inspired him to conjure up a Mega Man model, “X”, that matched the cognitive and emotional capabilities of human beings. I’m willing to give X the benefit of the doubt that he’s sharp as a tack and sensitive as a poet, but I’d argue that Mega Man has always looked relatively humanoid. What the 16-bit graphics grant to the blue bomber’s heightened humanistic features is sanding off the vagueness of the already rendered facial and body proportions. We can acutely discern pupils on the whites of his eyes instead of cartoony black craters, and there are teeth in his shapely, proportional mouth that no longer resembles an obstruent censor bar. Add an athletic frame on a taller body and X is the adolescent next phase of Mega Man in more ways than one.

Even though we’ve already witnessed him struggle to apprehend his enemies, the post-pubescent X is exceptionally stronger than the 8-bit prototype we’re all familiar with. In saying that, the events of the prologue and Zero’s flinty words that end it illustrate that X’s extraordinary power has yet to reach its full potential. Mega Man X’s arc is one of growth, gaining the physical and mental fortitude to conquer the elevated odds. The physical aspect of X’s journey of personal betterment is rendered as the various upgrades, but they aren’t granted to X as rewards for completing the levels as they were on the NES. An acuter Mega Man must practice finer diligence in his efforts to maximize his proficiency, which involves the player seeking out the upgrades found in the inconspicuous corners of each level. Dr. Light may be dead and buried to everyone’s dismay, but he knew his fancy, vigorous X model needed his assistance in the years beyond what his mortal limit would allow. Unlike when Mega Man donned his dog as a suit of armor and refashioned his functionalities in Mega Man 6, the upgrades in Mega Man X are completely unique supplementary ways to spruce up Mega Man’s strength. The nifty dash move that gave the original Mega Man more flexible maneuverability has unfortunately been omitted, but I’d lament the loss of the blue bomber’s first ingenious addition more emphatically if the spiritual successor dash move didn’t allow X to leap great distances like a robotic frog. The dash also compliments X’s innate ability to stick to and jump between walls wonderfully to further strengthen the amphibious comparisons. Mega Man 6 did its best to nerf the charge shot after its inclusion began to overshadow the robot master weapons, but Mega Man X ditches that initiative in favor of a blast chain of crimson beams that decimate all in its gaping radius when the player charges it to its full capacity. One upgrade allows Mega Man to erode the softer surfaces of both natural and manmade materials with his helmet, whose use only seems warranted to break the barriers between other upgrades. Heart and energy units are scattered about to increase X’s maximum health and special weapon meters respectively, and the four obtainable energy tanks are now a reusable resource powered by the collective surplus of health pickups when X’s meter is full. On one hand, I appreciate the eco-friendly renewability of these ergonomic energy tanks, but filling them completely, especially upon depleting them entirely after a difficult section, verges into tedious grinding territory that I could’ve done without. When every single one of these upgrades is accounted for, the final reward for the player’s meticulous efforts is an additional super move that will shock and awe: a fucking Hadouken from Street Fighter. The stipulation in executing this iconic blast of pure palm energy is that the player must press a finicky combination of buttons with X at full health. Still, anything that comes across its impact will combust entirely. Perhaps the developers were having TOO good a time touching up their blue pride and joy, but enhancing Mega Man with the aid of new gaming technology should be an exciting prospect for everyone involved.

The new challenges X faces in the next century are the mavericks, a league of insubordinate robots whose goal is to eradicate the human race and usher in the age of robotic domination. Evidently, Dr. Cain was touched by Dr. Light’s empathetic approach to robotic intelligent design and copied X’s sophisticated genome to an array of freshly built machines, the mavericks in question, with the same hyper-human cognition. Any science fiction story with a similar premise always details that once these machines are given these advancements and start dreaming of electric sheep, their intellect will generate radical ideas and become a nuisance for their organic creators. Eight of the mavericks are the repaved robot masters at the end of their respective levels and thankfully, the “man” descriptor that conceptually connected each robot master from the six NES games has been retired. The thematic glue that holds the mavericks together is eight different animals with an elemental type attached, i.e. Chill Penguin, Spark Mandrill, Storm Eagle, etc. Not only do the mavericks encompass designs that the NES robot masters could never feasibly achieve, but how they conduct themselves during battle is highly individualistic. The body slams of the bulky Flame Mammoth are as earth-shattering as one would expect from an animal weighing a couple of tons, Sting Chameleon moves swiftly around his arena, and Storm Eagle soars through the air as if he commands the way the wind blows. Their mannerisms in battle exude far more personality than what could be boiled down to the same robot model in different robes and powers from the robot masters that were manufactured by Dr. Wily.

As for the elemental weapons that X absorbs from the mavericks, I can’t say any of them supersede those of Dr. Wily’s robot masters from the standpoint of power or accessibility. Nothing surpasses the unmitigated, divine power of the metal blade even on advanced hardware. That is until the player realizes they can charge the special weapons to deadly results like the standard blaster. Launch Octopuses homing missiles can be charged to launch five torpedoes shaped like piranhas to shred through anything in sight, Flame Mammoth's charged fire wave will erupt a chain of flame pillars, and Spark Mandrill’s 100% power potential will unleash a storm of energy that will obliterate everything on screen. At least the scant opportunity to charge the weapon requires skill to execute, unlike the one-touch Gravity Hold from Mega Man 5. Other special weapons at their maximum force trigger results that will not result in devastation, but aid X with alternate methods such as the Chameleon Sting granting him brief invulnerability, and Armored Armadillo’s weapon shrouding him in a durable shield that proves to be far more effective than any similar apparatus meant to shelter him from the barrage of stray bullets. With Chill Penguin’s ice powers, X can sculpt a sled in the shape of the power’s original owner and ride giddily on it until it is sanded down by the friction and bursts into icy shards. Incorporating stronger versions of the special weapons with the charge mechanic was a no-brainer that I can’t believe didn’t occur to the developers to implement this feature in either Mega Man 5 or 6. On top of increasing the might of each special weapon, offering other uses for these weapons besides pure destructive potential makes Mega Man’s original gimmick interesting again. The charge shot needn’t be watered down after all: the special weapons just needed to match its firepower.

Honestly, I happily endured the slightly irritating grind sessions I had to undergo to refill the reusable energy tanks, for replaying Mega Man X’s levels to do so never wore on my patience. Mega Man’s stages on the SNES aren’t constructed at all differently from those on the previous Nintendo console. X will still move right through a narrow trajectory on the X-axis with the occasional vertical deviations while blowing the enemies to pieces with his arm cannon. I can’t pinpoint exactly what makes the levels of Mega Man X more electrifying than those on the 8-bit console, but there is a constant thrill at every screen that composes them. It could be due to the heightened graphical fidelity making the explosions look more voluminous or X’s stark physicality, or because the SNES grants these areas that aura of exhilaration with its performance prowess. The answer can be concluded by considering a bit of all of the possibilities. Watching every enemy burst into a mushroom cloud is a more satisfying indication that it's been defeated rather than simply disappearing, and X’s impressive abilities are obviously a delight to execute. Still, what impressed me the most was the developers using the SNES hardware to accomplish feats unfeasible on the previous system. Armored Armadillo’s level prominently features a minecart that careens calamitously through the mineshaft, flattening all that it comes across at a blistering speed. Imagine how awkward the loading screen transitions on the NES would’ve made this section, like stomping on the brakes going one hundred miles an hour? Spark Mandrill’s faulty electrical wiring makes for a natural depiction of turning the lights off on Mega Man as an obstacle rather than completely darkening the screen, and any instance where Mega Man can climb into a mech feels as free as his own fixtures and bolts (the robotic equivalent to flesh and blood) instead of being tethered to the pull of a scrolling screen like the jet ski from Mega Man 5. The intermediate mini-bosses are arguably even as engaging as the mavericks, and I’m almost embarrassed at the number of times I died to sticky Thunder Slimer or whenever the Anglerge submarine sucked me into the spikes below. The gimmicks of these Mega Man levels are unabashedly bombastic, but that’s why they’re so fun.

One would think all the ample accompaniments to Mega Man’s arsenal would make Mega Man X considerably easier than the comparatively minimalist NES games. Somehow, the developers have managed to balance Mega Man’s tough but fair approach to difficulty in the new era. Well, until X finishes off all eight mavericks and unlocks the final level to face the game’s final challenge. The ascent up Wily’s castle that always served as the penultimate goal of every Mega Man game needed to be remodeled for Mega Man X, for setting a Mega Man game over a century into the future forces the developers to comply with Dr. Wily’s logical, organic expiration date as a human being. The design of the trek up to the final boss doesn’t diverge all too far from any of the mad doctor’s castles, but the newfound frustration stems from how the full expedition is divided. When X defeats Vile after accumulating enough experience, it’s only the halfway point of finishing the first section. One would think the narrative context of vanquishing Vile to allow the player to print a checkpoint, but the level actually ends when X squashes a giant, robotic spider whose vulnerable eye is exposed as ephemerally as the blink of the heinous, PTSD-inducing Yellow Devil. An unimpervious Vile is still no slouch, and the tapering climb between him and the spider boss is excruciating. Practice sticking to the walls until X can match the skill of Spiderman. The remaining sections are shorter, but the first one has the player proverbially gasping for air with desperation, unlike any other Mega Man game before it.

So if Vile is but a trivial henchman and Dr. Wily is guaranteed not to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes once again with his presence, who is the villainous figure leading the fight against all organic life? At the top of the series of climaxes above a narrow tube that X must, of course, bounce between is Sigma, the commander of the mavericks spurring this violent revolution. At first, Sigma sics his robotic bloodhound on X as a sampler stage before brandishing his energy sword and then piloting a screen-obscuring mech as the ultimate test of the player’s aptitude as Wily would have done. I managed to find an exploit in both the dog and Sigma’s first form in that climbing the walls around the arena would always oblige them to bounce around as well and lock them into predictability, so Sigma proved to be more manageable than a number of Dr. Wily duels. Still, Sigma dwarfs Dr. Wily as an overall antagonist, and I’m not saying this because I’ve become sick to death of the mad doctor. Look at Sigma’s menacing grin and imposing demeanor as he shadows X before his fight and tell me with a straight face that he doesn’t make you the least bit nervous. On top of his sinister design, we know from the narrative that Sigma’s motivations are fueled by hatred, vengeance, and smug superiority: a collective fusion of negativity that is known to inspire the campaigns of the most ruthless of historical dictators. Sigma is bad to the circuit breaker bone: a political force libel to crush any of his opponents into pixie dust at the first sign of transgressions toward him, a dominating presence that the goofy, one-dimensional Dr. Wily could never exude.

The future is here and the future is now, or at least the future came to fruition in late 1993/early 1994 when Mega Man X succeeded the iconic 2D platformer series of games that made Capcom a household name in the industry. After six games bled the series dry with repeated facets of its formula, Mega Man X is the upgraded model that renders the old one obsolete. It was the game that the series needed to save itself from digging the dearth of a hole it was in on the NES that used to be filled to the brim with refreshing water. Now, with the mechanical advancements of the SNES system, the Mega Man tap could begin anew and strike precious oil. With the riches given to Capcom with this golden opportunity, Mega Man’s facelift has made the series as exciting as it once was, an explosive romp that still bears all the hallmarks of what makes Mega Man exceptional. A gold star for robot boy!

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

Pokemon Yellow debuted the concept of re-releasing the latest addition of a Pokemon game with a slew of extra content to justify its existence. However, I wouldn’t consider it to be the definitive version of the original Kanto journey. The bells and whistles attached to Pokemon Yellow deviated far too much from the core narrative and progression of pokemon catching than what was displayed in the Red/Blue entries. For the fans of the Pokemon anime that Yellow was catered towards, it set an inaccurate precedent for every Pokemon generation that followed where they’d have to manually type in Ash’s name for their character and Pikachu would not act as their little staticky shadow step by step. Pokemon Crystal, the subsequent release acting as a sister version of Gold/Silver, is the first instance of what I’d consider a definitive edition for a Pokemon generation.

I can’t believe no one at Game Freak thought to include the option to play as a female protagonist before Crystal. I understand that Pokemon’s target demographic (and video games as a whole) is young boys, but is it outside the realm of possibilities that girls would be interested in a game revolving around collecting cute, fictional animals and bonding with them like pets? Is it the battle system and conquest arc that inherently cements Pokemon as a male-centric series? Hardly. The ability to swap the protagonist’s gender is a brilliant tactic from a marketing standpoint, garnering a crucial audience whose newfound interest in the franchise is because of this new feature giving them a chance to be a contender as a Pokemon master. For the boys who already experienced Johto in either Gold or Silver and are confident in their masculinity, the female protagonist should also mix up the familiar backdrop adequately.

Really, a definitive version of any game should remedy the mistakes made by the rougher iteration it’s sprucing up. One new feature introduced in Gold/Silver is the ability to save the phone numbers of a select few trainers after defeating them in battle, and I didn’t care to humor this feature. Every time one of these people called me to give me an unsolicited rundown of their day, I immediately deleted their contact information. In Crystal, these trainers will notify you of when swarms of rare pokemon are occurring, plus give you various gifts they scrounge up. Socializing finally pays off. The select pokemon found in seasonal packs are also much easier to obtain than the less than 1% chance given in Gold/Silver, which should honestly only be entertained for Remoraid and Snubbull anyway. Gold version exclusive Growlithe is catchable around Violet City to use against Bugsy if your character didn’t choose Cyndaquil as a starter, and dark-ice type Sneasel can be found in the Ice Cave. It’s a far more sensible spot to put a new pokemon with a beneficial typing for both the dragon and psychic challenges the player will face before shipping off to Kanto. Also, if Gold/Silver’s onus was to give the ugly Red/Blue a makeover, surely the moving pokemon sprites that introduce a battle are a pleasant little touch that gives these creatures a boosted speck of personality.

Crystal’s slight narrative deviation seems to revolve around the Suicune, one of three legendary dogs that succeed the legendary bird trio from Kanto. Like in the base game, the elemental dogs will scurry from their resting place in the basement of Ecruteak’s Burned Tower and run frantically around Johto. I did not mention the side quest involving capturing them because stumbling upon them is a rarer occurrence than catching a pokemon only found during swarms, and the exciting moment of finally finding them just to have them roar your pokemon away from battle adds too much insult to injury. At least encountering Suicune periodically finally culminates to potentially catching it in Kanto, unlike the tortuous hunt for Entei and Raikou.

Pokemon Crystal isn’t merely Gold/Silver for girls, even though the addition of playing as one would naturally entice the other half of the gender demographic. Like Pokemon Yellow, its quality-of-life enhancements from the base game are relatively minor, but it doesn’t inject any outside influences from other Pokemon media to discern it for a different player base. Crystal is Gold/Silver plus one, which inherently makes it the definitive version by clear definition.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

The whole “gen-wuner” sentiment across the cultural zeitgeist of Pokemon has never ceased to spark some personal contention within me. I completely understand that a large margin of people were children during the height of “Pokemania'' and aged out of the franchise's young demographic as it still managed to march on with subsequent releases past its commercial peak in its first generation. For many, Pokemon is strictly a substantial centerpiece of popular media at the turn of the millennium in their respective nostalgia capsules, and that is perfectly acceptable. I was one of these people throughout my adolescence until a social shift occurred in my college years, reeling me back into Pokemon out of curiosity about what I missed during the time when I was “too cool” for Pikachu. Still, my enclosed area of sentimentality beforehand was not restricted to Pokemon’s first generation. I suppose I could call myself a “gen-twoer,” as the era of Pokemon Gold and Silver is where I set my arbitrary boundaries. Pokemon’s second generation was also my introduction point to Pokemon as my older cousin gave me his Gameboy Color with a copy of Pokemon Silver when I was seven and unknowingly created a crippling addiction for me that was difficult to mandate. Given this information, it's no surprise that I’ve encompassed both the first and second generations in my personal sphere of wonderment for Pokemon’s past. Still, I question why my situation isn’t as common with those who grew up with the franchise and how the Gold/Silver generation eludes them. Pokemon’s sophomore outing was released two years after Red/Blue when the franchise's fire was still roaring hot, so its sales still benefited from the ongoing Pokemania craze. It’s not as if Gold/Silver wasn’t a heavily anticipated entry because the Pokemon fad was waning. Are the Kanto enthusiasts that dense to think that the franchise peaked with the first entry, even with the coarse, black-and-white Gameboy pixels and unsightly depictions of the Pokemon to contend with? If this is the case, they must stop smoking the nostalgia crack pipe and come to their senses. Pokemon Gold/Silver should ideally be the primary source of warm recollections of when Nintendo’s franchise was a cultural phenomenon, for it’s essentially an extension of the first generation with so many clear improvements that it’s hard to deny its objective superiority.

Pokemon Gold/Silver begins with the same sense of excitement as Red/Blue did. The player is taking control of another bright-eyed rookie trainer with ambitious dreams of besting everyone in the profession of Pokemon training. This time, the trainer wakes up in his hometown of New Bark Town in the land of Johto neighboring Kanto directly to the west. The deviation in setting here establishes that every Pokemon adventure is going to be across the entire jurisdiction of an uncharted land from here on out. The player’s mom will wish him good luck, and he’ll walk next door to the Pokemon laboratory where Professor Elm will gift him a starter Pokemon that the player will cherish and grow with throughout the game. So far, the starting process to this Pokemon adventure should ring familiar, except for the starter Pokemon displayed for the player to select. Every new entry to the Pokemon franchise adds at least one hundred new additions to the accumulative roster, with the region-specific Pokedex altering itself to give the fresh faces higher precedence. Listed at the top of Johto’s national Pokedex are the three starter Pokemon replacing those from Red/Blue: the leafy little Chikorita who highlights the herbivore diet of the long-necked dinosaurs it's modeled after, the anteater Cyndaquil that spurts flames from its backside, and the blue, fun-sized crocodile Totodile. As one could probably guess from their designs, the starters cement that the contrasting grass, fire, and water types will be the selection at the start from here on out. While copying the elemental types of the beginning batch of starters seems like the transition was slick and smooth, Johto’s first Pokemon friends are admittedly underwhelming. Their initial forms are cute, but Chikorita forgets to shed that baby face when it fully evolves into Meganium. Despite its bulky body, no one is going to be intimidated by anything that looks this goofy. Typhlosion’s deficient array of fire moves it learns hardly makes it a barn burner pick, as much as it pains me to admit it because of my sentimental attachment to Cyndaquil as my very first Pokemon. Totodile’s final form Feraligatr is probably the most formidable choice but is ultimately bogged down by a single typing like the rest of its starter mates. None of the fully evolved starters even represent their respective games on the box art, opting for the legendary pair of Lugia and Ho-oh instead. The threesome here lacks the charisma and capabilities that made the previous starters Pokemon icons.

Fortunately, Pokemon’s initiative is to build that eclectic sextet, covering most if not all of the bases to compensate for your starter Pokemon’s elemental blind spots. In my overall summation of the second generation’s Pokemon contributions, we have a divisive mix of fantastic additions alongside some laughably pitiful duds. On the respectable side of the coin, every player should consider putting Hoothoot and Mareep in their Pokemon arsenal, for they evolve into majestic beasts (Noctowl and Ampharos) and can be encountered early on to assuage the growing pains of a paltry pokemon team. The player is guaranteed more confidence during their amateur era as opposed to when Red/Blue expected them to blaze through the first few gym leaders with a bushel of frail bug pokemon. For those who still give the weakest pokemon type in the series a fighting chance, Gold/Silver introduces Heracross and Forretress to firmly instill that sense of entomophobia in other trainers. Gold/Silver also starts the trend of pokemon with contradictory elemental typings, a hybrid the developers probably took into stressful consideration and decided that it wasn’t oxymoronic or made these pokemon impervious. Lanturn’s anglerfish design (a non-hideous one) is a biologically sound influence to craft a water and electric pokemon, as the detached dandelion cotton spore Jumpluff is for a grass and flying pokemon. Wooper and Quagsire are the first evolutionary line to have both water and ground types properties, an elite fusion as long as the trainer keeps them off the grass as stern as a neighborhood sign. The rugged rock tree Sudowoodo is Johto’s Snorlax, a waypoint impediment that requires an item to reanimate and fight for the taking. Ursaring, Donphan, Xatu, Skarmory, Sneasel, and Houndoom are all alluring in their designs alone. Unfortunately, all of Gold/Silver’s striking and sturdy new pokemon are counteracted on the whole by just as many unexceptional ones. For some reason, Johto unloads an abundance of single-evolution pokemon that feel included just to round out the Pokedex. Who seriously shares any attachment towards Aipom, Qwilfish, Yanma, or Stantler? Dunsparce, the oversized sweat bee that resides in a remote, dark cave, is so pitiful that I find it endearing. Delibird, Smeargle, and the alphabetized Unown are practically novelty pokemon. Girafarig is the only substantial one of the unevolved bunch because its normal and psychic typing gives it immunity to ghost, and battling Shuckle is akin to attempting to break open a diamond. Still, I glance at the entire roster and am disappointed that Farfetch’d was multiplied in triplets.

Fortunately, if one is unsatisfied or is feeling obdurately reverent, Kanto’s pokemon are scattered about Johto as extensively as its native species. However, a sizable portion of Gold/Silver’s roster is dedicated to adding variations on the original lineup. Evidently, there is something in Johto’s water supply that allows previously established pokemon to extend their evolutionary capacities. Before we discuss the old pokemon’s addendums, we should probably make note of their more infantile forms that have just been discovered. The Johto daycare’s services not only increase the level of a pokemon without needing to battle: if the player leaves two pokemon of the opposite gender alone in the yard, there is a strong possibility that there will be three pokemon in the pen by the time the player returns to retrieve them if you catch my drift. If the concept of evolution was enough for the conservative, Christian parents of America to put Pokemon on their shit list, imagine their reactions when the sequel introduces a mechanic revolving around sexual reproduction. Little Timmy will have so many questions left unanswered! Anyways, for a small percentage of pokemon, passing down their genetic material by making whoopee with another of a similar typing and relative size (or the amorphous pile of sex putty that is Ditto), an egg will naturally slide out of the female, and will hatch into a “baby pokemon” after walking about with it for a brief period. Pichu is the infant version of Pikachu, Magby is for Magmar, Elekid is for Electabuzz, etc. The only baby pokemon totally removed from Kanto lineage is Togepi, a freebie given to the player by Professor Elm to test the new mechanic. These adorable little tykes are so underdeveloped that using them in battle would be unspeakably cruel, but at least they can learn new moves once they evolve that their non-bred equivalents in the wild cannot. Regarding the evolution end of the spectrum, the swift Crobat is evolved from the gaping-mouthed Golbat via “friendship” where increasing the bond between a man and his pokemon actually provides some tangible benefits. The same process evolves the additional “Eeveelutions” Espeon and Umbreon, two pokemon that intentionally display a contrast between night and day. Some old pokemon simply needed a material incentive to evolve, such as Slowpoke transforming into the hyper-intelligent Slowking upon acquiring a king’s rock, or Scyther and Onix into Scizor and Steelix when traded with a Metal Coat attached. I don’t know how someone could stick their noses up at how Gold/Silver augments the classics from Kanto, for the examples I’ve given are among the coolest and most competent pokemon that the second generation has to offer.

The last two pokemon I mentioned, along with the coal-black Eevee evolved form Umbreon, are also examples of two typings unheard of in Red/Blue: Steel and Dark. The series didn’t introduce any elemental types until several generations down the line, so two whole new categorizations after the first entry is an exciting prospect. Shuffling steel and dark into the deck of pokemon battle attributes is sure to confuse those who had memorized each strength and weakness. Actually, what their inclusion really does is give the once god-like psychic types something to be afraid of, as dark’s super effectiveness against them sensibly stems from the common fear of a lack of luminescence. Now, psychics tremble to what they cannot see, and we all take delight in their quaking vulnerability. With a slight in logic, dark’s primary weakness is fighting, somehow suggesting that martial arts are more potent and accurate when one is blind like a mystical samurai. Steel, on the other hand, is a solid defensive type strong against ice and rock while crumbling to fighting, ground, and fire. They are also totally immune to poison, so no antidotes are necessary. Unfortunately, pokemon of either type are a scarce breed. Scyther and Onix only evolve through the trading process, so that is a no-go for most players unless they have a link cable and a fellow man-child friend ready to initiate the process. Forretress and the retroactively changed Magneton will have to suffice. In an unfortunate twist of fate, Umbreon is THE only dark type pokemon available before the post-game epilogue, so the player will have to rely on dark-type moves like “Bite” and “Faint Attack” to defend themselves against mind-bending maneuvers. Game Freak is a group of sadists.

Adding an elemental type that triumphs over the cocky psychics is what I’d consider a quality-of-life improvement. For more traditional instances of the term, Gold/Silver is filled to the brim with stark enhancements. It goes without saying that the added color flair of the Gameboy Color obviously makes Gold/Silver more visually appealing than the murky gray that presented Red/Blue. Seeing the Pokemon world’s bright sunlight, brick buildings, grassy fields, and sparkling waters after Red/Blue muted all of them is what I imagine taking the bandages off after Lasik's surgery is like. Suddenly, everything is wonderfully vibrant and that feeling of excitement for a grand, country-spanning adventure is reinvigorated. That added color extends to the pokemon’s health bars during battle as well, using stoplight shades to signify their level of health. A blue color bar is introduced to give the player an indication of how close their pokemon are to the next level, so the eventual grind will be more manageable with a visual reference. Inventory items are organized by general categorizations. It’s far more manageable than the one page in Red/Blue but plenty of miscellaneous items that aren’t pokeballs or TMs/HMs are still jumbled up in a single menu and they still overflow as a result. Berry trees are scattered all over Johto, and their juicy fruit can heal a small percentage of health or cure an ailment. Some trees are conversely draped in apricorns, which can be molded into pokeballs with specific properties when brought to a man in Azalea Town named Kurt. Pokemon encounters now depend on three general times of the day, which coincides with a clock that the player sets before they wake up to start their adventure. I’d still argue the colorization is the most significant improvement because of how the black and white of Red/Blue inadvertently made the game a vexing challenge at times. However, every last addition to Gold/Silver ultimately does its part to make the game a smoother and more engaging experience than Red/Blue.

For as involved Johto is in improving the mold of Pokemon, the entire country is surprisingly much more subdued than its neighbor to the east. The region of Johto is directly inspired by the real-life Kansai region of Japan, which is situated on the same island as its capital Tokyo where Kanto took inspiration from. Unlike the bustling industrialized marvel of the modern age that Kanto strived to emulate, Johto’s landscape has a comparatively placid atmosphere. Johto achieves this laidback sensation through its rural iconography. The towering buildings that shadow the notable districts are ancient architectures crafted from wood and bronze, with the triangular roof as the cherry on top to signify its worn and torn history. Unlike places of Buddhist worship in Japan, Johto’s spiritual houses were erected to practice pokemon devotion. This strange phenomenon can be witnessed as early as Violet City where bald monks kneel at the visage of golden Bellsprouts in the Sprout Tower. The Ruins of Alph feature an exhibit dedicated to uncovering the primeval mystery behind the Unown and translating the supposed language behind their cuneiform bodies. South of the ruins, the people of Azalea Town rely on their rampant Slowpoke population to predict the weather (boy, are they betting on the wrong horse). Mahogany Town is a perfectly quaint place to stay by the picturesque Lake of Rage, and the island of Cianwood City is so off the grid that it's a wonder how they communicate with the rest of Johto. All of the region’s urbanity is congested to Goldenrod City, whose glimmering roads and buildings arguably dwarf any of the metropolises of Kanto. After exploring Johto again, I now realize why fans of Kanto look down on them: they are a bunch of backward rubes stuck in the wrong century. Ironically enough, for how advanced Kanto claims to be, navigating through Johto’s unaffected landscape is a far breezier excursion. Misremembering the Union Cave made me anticipate another grueling Mt. Moon escapade, but the exit is merely down the path from the entrance. The Ilex Forest is intentionally designed like a maze, and I had an easier time walking through it than any of Kanto’s commercial sites that were made to be accessible to its citizens. However, one aspect of traversing through Johto that turns me off is the inclusion of two new water-type HMs on top of "Surf" needed to power past whirlpools and trek upwards on waterfalls. I don’t like the idea of my chosen water-type pokemon having three redundant water moves in its selective range of skills, especially since it was Quagsire whose ground nature was heavily undermined by this requisite.

Because Johto is relatively nonchalant, the overall pokemon adventure here is overall fairly languid. Sure, becoming a Pokemon master by collecting all eight gym badges and defeating the Elite Four is still an admirable goal to strive for, but there is not as much content in between completing the primary quest. Team Rocket is still retaining their presence as a nefarious organization but without Giovanni as their menacing leader, the group is rudderless. The player will stop their black market Slowpoke tail scheme along with halting their radio wave mind control operation, with Elite Four member Lance disappointingly volunteering to do most of the leg work. A mission to procure medicine for a sick Ampharos being hospitalized by gym leader Jasmine in the Olivine Lighthouse facilitates a non-linear sequence of collecting three nearby gym badges similar to the middle of Red/Blue. Still, Cianwood’s distant location away from the Johto inland will probably result in the player completing these gyms in the intended order anyway. Also, the player’s rival this time around will never be up to snuff with their pokemon training prowess. Yes, the red-haired thief is just as much of an asshole as Oak’s grandson from Red/Blue, but he falls under the spectrum of a hostile, emotionally distraught asshole who desperately needs therapy. The brutal treatment of his pokemon never leads him to victory, something that infuriates him to no end due to his pure strength prerogative. Eventually, we learn he’s Giovanni’s son, which explains his fiery disposition and why he’s so hellbent on winning. Learning this makes his motives interesting, but we know he’ll never skid past the Elite Four before you in a million years. Having a competent rival greatly raised the stakes for that climb to victory.

Gold/Silver will keep the player busy anyway because the player will be busy grinding to adequately match the gym leaders. Matching the correct weaknesses of the opposing pokemon is no longer a surefire guarantee for smooth success as it was in Red/Blue. The combat greatly considers other aspects like level and base stats, which unfortunately fosters the need to train one’s pokemon outside the series of consistent trainer battles. Also, the assemblage of pokemon gym leaders in Johto specialize in the other half of typings that weren’t featured in Kanto, and these types are the more unorthodox ones. The one available Machop to trade in Goldenrod is the ace up everyone’s sleeves for the deceivingly strong Whitney unless they want to be pulverized again by her Miltank, and catching Swinub in the Ice Cave is the only pokemon that will even dent Clair’s dragon pokemon in Blackthorn. Speaking of dragon pokemon, establishing a grinding regimen is essential this time around not only because the Elite Four members have high-leveled pokemon in their arsenal, but because newly appointed champion Lance has THREE fucking Dragonites this time around. Tell us you have a tiny penis without explicitly telling us you have a tiny penis, Lance. Because Lance’s six beasts are massive and vicious unlike his shriveled manhood, it’s recommended to leave a trail of dead Golbat, Onix, Rhyhorn, and Graveler in their wake from the Victory Road exit, even though the process will truly grate on every player’s patience.

As climactic as it feels, mastering Johto’s Pokemon League is not the finishing moment that rounds out the Gold/Silver journey. After returning home to New Bark Town to rest momentarily, Professor Elm gives the player a ticket to the familiar SS Anne cruise ship docked in Olivine. As expected, the fanciful ship arrives at its home in the southern port city of Vermillion, and Lt. Surge is now the first of eight gym leaders to conquer in another tour around Kanto. If featuring almost all of Kanto’s pokemon in Johto didn’t tie a connective rope between Red/Blue and Gold/Silver, then the trek around the franchise’s first nation once again is practically what makes Gold/Silver a direct sequel. However, it’s a truncated tour that will only take the player a few hours to accomplish. While on this short lark, the player can marvel at the little things that have changed in the three years since Red put himself on the pedestal of the pokemon Hall of Fame. Regarding the gym leaders the player will face, Koga’s daughter Janine is running the poison-type gym leader in Fuchsia and ex-champion Blue has got himself a full-time gig as Giovanni’s replacement in Viridian. Blaine’s island of Cinnabar has washed away to the point where he is its only resident, and the Safari Zone is closed indefinitely. Instances like these snap the revisiting Red/Blue players back to the reality of time upon expecting a Gold/Silver Kanto to pave a road of untainted nostalgic bliss. Then again, why would anyone want to see Kanto again the way it was when the colorful graphics that are now rendering it are so pleasant? Arriving at the old hub of Pallet Town before the final Kanto gym badge sees a distraught Red’s mom wondering where her son is, as he’s become an instance of someone who evidently couldn’t handle the pressure of fame and literally hid from the overwhelming limelight. Finding Kanto’s finest at the peak of the perilous Mt. Silver across the Johto border to battle him is the true final challenge that Gold/Silver provides. Because Red’s reputation as a champion is surely documented, his pokemon are leveled far higher than any other team of pokemon in the game, so be prepared for a ruthless duel that will have you sweating bullets. Another tedious grinding session aside, having the final opponent of Gold/Silver as what is essentially the player from a past life as the ultimate test of trainer aptitude blows the Elite Four out of the water. Red’s stoic silence isn’t awkward at all, for the scope of this fight leaves me speechless as well.

Gold/Silver’s final fight is also a genius way to illustrate how the new guard of Pokemon has vanquished the old, which is exactly its modus operandi that it never shies away from flaunting. Gold/Silver is unmistakenly familiar to its predecessor because it attempts to succeed the Pokemon formula with pinpoint specificity to improve Red/Blue. It shares the same pokemon, the same pace of progression, and the same troublesome terrorist organization of Team Rocket and streamlines all of these, erasing the jaggedness that came with Red/Blue’s presence on the original Gameboy. Red/Blue’s pokemon championship narrative was admittedly already rounded to perfection, which is why the same arc executed in Gold/Silver is a tad less gratifying. Then, returning to Kanto to face the true champion of the series offered an unprecedented final battle that could make the player faint with its tension. Gold/Silver’s superiority to Red/Blue isn’t simply due to the shift into color on the advanced Gameboy Color model, even if it does improve the graphics significantly. With its positive streamlining, additional content, comparatively deeper battle mechanics, and glowing visual flair, Pokemon Gold/Silver eats Red/Blue for breakfast. I can’t believe there is still a large portion of Pokemon fans who refuse to admit it with all the evidence at hand.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

Now this is just getting ridiculous. Doubling the the number of Mega Man games on the NES after overstepping the amount fitting for a nicely succinct trilogy almost makes Mega Mans 4-6 its own trilogy separate from the first three games. What defining name shall we refer to Mega Man 4-6 to codify this selection of the series' latter half on its debut system? “The charge shot trilogy?” “The Dr. Wily bait-and-switch trilogy?” “The semi-useless Eddie trilogy?” There are so many different possibilities. All jokes aside, I’m actually glad that Capcom rounded out their flagship franchise with their blue robot boy with six games. Mega Man 5 would've been a rather tepid note to end Mega Man’s tenure on the NES, for its contributions to the long-running series amounted to nothing of substantial growth to the Mega Man formula. I never expected Mega Man 6 to reinvent the wheel, especially after Mega Man 5 inadvertently proved that Mega Man’s full potential peaked with the fourth entry. My optimism regarding Mega Man 6 stemmed from the fact that Capom now had the opportunity to rectify the mistakes they made in Mega Man 5 in their attempts to give it some fresh discernibility. Mega Man 6 could now cement Mega Man’s legacy on the console that started it with something comparable to the apex point that was Mega Man 4. Alas, Mega Man 6 is yet another entry marked by unnecessary changes, but at least the changes it makes are far more interesting and involved than those from the previous games.

The entourage of robot masters this time around is an especially inspired bunch. Instead of leaving the creative process to a few lucky Japanese kids via a contest, the cohesive theme for these eight robot masters is that they all vaguely represent a different nation in the real world based on both their physical designs and levels. One might hear this idea and facepalm considering that the developers callously drew parallels between a sensitive world event where several innocent people died with Napalm Man’s Vietnam War-theme level in the previous game. However, the pack of international mechanical marvels is constructed with far more tact and respect. Tomahawk Man represents the deep cultural heritage of the native people in America, Blizzard Man is a comment on how absurdly frigid the northern land of Canada can be, and Yamato Man is the robotic samurai that Capcom felt would be emblematic of their own culture. The others are up to speculation because their origins are not detailed in the game’s manual for some reason. If I had to guess, Plant Man is Latin American because of his tropical level and the rose’s affiliation with their dances, Knight Man is a chivalrous artifact of Middle Ages England, Centaur Man is a Greek mythology reference, Wind Man correlates with China’s reputation for wind energy, and Flame Man’s Indian identity can be assumed from his turban and by the fact that food from that country is scorchingly spicy. The nationalities of this array of robots is also relevant because they are the worldly representatives in the newly founded “Global Robot Alliance,” a UN of sorts established after Dr. Wily has attempted to upset the balance between the machines and their human creators numerous times. Speaking of Mega Man’s perennial antagonist, his new ploy to disrupt the order of this organization is to construct a tournament of champions between the eight robot masters for the prize of sole representation as the world’s robotic protector. Yes, the game introduces a villain named “Mr. X” as its diabolical schemer, but I absolutely refuse to humor the notion of another Mega Man antagonist for a THIRD fucking time. Besides, Mr. X’s resemblance to Dr. Wily is uncanny, so even the developers knew that they couldn’t maintain their own charade. While I’ve given up on taking the Mega Man conflict scenarios seriously, at least the themes of the robot masters behind the plot are intriguing. Capcom crafted a slew of cool robot masters with a cultural theme one tasteful degree above Nintendo’s Punch-Out!

Squeezing six games onto one console has an implication that a lot of time has passed since Mega Man’s birth in 1987. By late 1993 when Mega Man 6 was released, the SNES successor to the NES was well into its course as Nintendo’s primary soldier in the console wars. In fact, the SNES had been available on store shelves for so long at this point that those interested in playing Mega Man 6 most likely had to dig through their closets and blow off the dust that their old NES system had freshly collected. Some may ponder why anyone would be interested in regressing to the outdated guard briefly when the future was in full swing and why Capcom didn’t bother to simply develop Mega Man 6 for the current console. From another perspective, Mega Man 6 had the advantageous position of being a practically posthumous period release on the NES because it could comfortably relax in the house that all of the preceding NES titles (including previous Mega Man games) had painstakingly crafted with their blood, sweat, and tears. It’s a smaller house than the SNES that was under construction at the time, but a fully erected living space is far cozier. Due to the lack of mechanical strain, Mega Man 6 looks fantastic from a graphical standpoint. Every 8-bit texture that renders the eight robot master stages and the interior of Dr. Wily’s castle is refined to near-perfect, pixelated perfection. The foliage of the hanging rainforest trees is remarkably green and textured to the point of seeing every individual leaf. The pistons holding together the man-made foundation of Tomahawk Man’s stage are as finely detailed as the natural crags of the rock formations outside. Every star over the background city seen from the entrance point of Wily’s castle shines brighter from that view than the scene of space in Star Man’s stage from the last game. Mega Man 6 proves that 8-bit graphics are a legitimate aesthetic.

What interests me more pertaining to the levels in Mega Man 6 has less to do with how they are graphically rendered and more with their design. Mega Man 6 unfortunately may only offer a couple of alternate routes to change the trajectory of the destination to a robot master as it is this game’s means of unlocking Beat. Still, at least the game puts a calculated effort into diversifying the straightaway trek for every other level. If one can recall back to the first Mega Man game, they’ll remember that the weapons did more than act as alternatives to the blaster and counter the element for the contrasting robot master. Mega Man 6 continues what was abandoned in Mega Man’s debut by blocking extra lives and energy/weapon tanks behind large, compact cubes of junk. To unearth these impediments to obtain these items, Mega Man needs a gadget that is not granted to him until he defeats a certain number of robot masters. The catch is that there are instances where vital pickups are obscured behind these crude formations across every level, so the player is persuaded to replay the levels to gather all of the goodies. Also, confining a hefty quantity of these types of items to these out-of-reach nooks and crannies means they are in less abundance, so the player cannot suck down a twelve-pack of energy tanks when they are slightly wounded anymore.

Which item allows Mega Man to manipulate the mounds of mechanical dirt? I guess how Mega Man 6 defines its strides of innovation is with the alternate suits that replace Rush. When selecting either the Jet Suit or Power Suit in the menu upon unlocking them, Rush appears as he converges with Mega Man, turning Mega Man’s armor to the crimson sheen of his canine companion. The Power Suit is bulky and is the method of disposing of what stands between Mega Man and his rightful energy tanks. Holding the attack button will launch a deadly blast of energy, but it is constricted to a short range. The Jet Suit, on the other hand, allows Mega Man to soar gracefully like a rocket blasting off into space, but more akin to one of the hobby models that craps out after a few seconds. The only caveat is that the charge shot will be unavailable, but we’ve already ventured through three Mega Man games before the charge shot was even conceived and managed to survive. The primary perk of the suits is that they refill their fuel automatically upon depletion instead of needing to walk over an energy replenisher and invite all players to keep this apparatus on at all times as I did. The alternate suits are the new implementation of the Mega Man formula that sticks out in my mind for their usefulness, but it still raises a few questions. Does Rush meld into Mega Man with the mechanical malleability of a Transformer, or does he shed his modular armor for Mega Man to use as a token of assistance? Is he just a simple dog underneath the suit, running off to Dr. Light’s house to chase squirrels and drag his ass across the carpet whenever Mega Man is borrowing the outer layer of his body?

The alternate suits are also a welcome addition to Mega Man 6 because they compensate for the charge shot’s comparatively limp power capacity. Upon charging the standard blaster, searing energy still flows throughout Mega Man’s being, but the range and impact of the fully charged release feel far less impactful when dealing with enemies. The convenient crutch that I’ve been using for the past two games has been nerfed, probably an intentional effort from the developers to coax me into shuffling through the robot master’s weapons outside of their battles. Overall, the robot master weapons in Mega Man 6 do nothing to impress because a lot of them are recycled from previous games. Plant Man has a shield that performs exactly what one would expect, Flame Man has another fire weapon, Knight Man’s projectile morning star top and the Yamato Spear both have a straightforward trajectory, and Centaur Man’s flash weapon should inspire strong memories of a certain robot master from Mega Man 2. The “blizzard” attack barely amounts to a fucking flurry. While I’m completely underwhelmed by what’s in Mega Man’s arsenal, at least there are no impractical weapons such as Stone Man’s or any effortless screen obliterators like Gravity Man’s, both from Mega Man 5. Because the developers knew that the player would be exhausting more of the ancillary fuel from the weapons, Mega Man 6 introduces an energy balancer that supplies the most depleted weapon with energy from another to fully refill it. Thanks, Capcom. I wish they thought of this when the Metal Blade was still in Mega Man’s grasp.

I’m also underwhelmed by Dr. Wily in Mega Man 6, and it isn’t because Mr. X reveals himself to be Wily with more facial hair because I’m not a brain-dead simpleton. The two castles that lead up to Dr. Wily are perfectly challenging, with some spiky blindspots during some drops that vanquished me more than I’m willing to admit that reminded me fondly of Quick Man. I’m referring to the final duel between Mega Man and the mad doctor that takes place in three stages, as par for the course. Again, the first two stages see Dr. Wily attempt to crush Mega Man under the weight and force of stomping him, and then the third stage involves Dr. Wily disappearing periodically to give Mega Man a fleeting chance to aim a shot while dodging a series of cyclones. Fortunately, the upward angle of the Silver Tomahawk allows Mega Man to end the all-too-familiar fight in seconds. After experiencing deja vu from Wily’s final fight from the previous game, Mega Man mixes up the result considerably and finally puts the scourge of the robotic world under arrest, tying him up with rope as if he’s planning on placing him on the train tracks. I’m almost proud of Mega Man for placing Dr. Wily in custody, but it's taken him too goddamn long to do what is necessary for me to seriously commend him.

I guess Mega Man 6 triumphs over the previous Mega Man game in its commitment to reverse some aspects back to the earlier entries. Mega Man 5 was a facile experience with too heavy of a reliance on the booming charge shot and an inexhaustible amount of energy tanks at the player’s disposal. Hiding the items behind walls and channeling less firepower into the charge shot so as not to eclipse the series staple of robot master weapons started to remind me of the challenge I had come to associate with Mega Man. Still, the lack of inspiration with the weapons despite the solid theming of their users along with Dr. Wily phoning in his final challenge against Mega Man is further indication that Mega Man had run its course on the console it was born onto. While Mega Man 6 is still a more respectable experience than the last entry, the series is still long overdue to wrap things up like the series hero eventually did with his mortal nemesis.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

Look how they massacred my boy…

At first glance, Paper Mario: Sticker Star seemed like an exciting return to form for the skinny, subversive offshoot Mario RPG series. Super Paper Mario’s only significant crime in the eyes of the fervent Paper Mario fan was that the standard 2D platformer direction compromised on the substance that the accessible, yet buoyant RPG brought to invigorate the tired Mario brand. While the more meat and potatoes platformer gameplay in Super Paper Mario was relatively lacking in certain aspects, the straightforward meal being served was surely decorated with some snazzy garnishes and exotic spices to amplify the flavor and presentation to a wild degree. Super Paper Mario was akin to drinking light beer out of a clear, glass top hat that glows in the dark; approaching a beverage that comes by the barrel full in the most unorthodox and quirky manner possible, so it still fits the oddball Paper Mario identity like an oven mitt. With the announcement that Sticker Star was reverting to Paper Mario’s turn-based roots, the devil’s advocacy for Super Paper Mario is almost completely blown back to utter excitement. With the return to RPG gameplay, we can experience another abstract Mario adventure with a concise world map, badges, and proper partner characters with robust personalities and combat abilities. Our son is returning from college, and it's a delight to see him in person after settling for digital communications for a solid three months. However, even with the promise of RPG-facilitated splendor, Paper Mario: Sticker Star is a downright tragedy. Sticker Star is the equivalent of the son from the college analogy dying in a car accident on his way home, and playing it is like watching the medics and coroner peel his bloody body out of the tarnished vehicle. It’s so unpleasant that it's revolting.

For some reason, modern Mario games like to present themselves with a festival of some sort coordinated by Princess Peach. Sticker Star’s event of inane frivolity is gathering around for the annual occurrence of the almighty Sticker Comet that has the power to grant everyone’s wishes. Naturally, Bowser jumps at the opportunity after hearing about this cosmic Macguffin, so he crashes the party with all of his minions and absorbs the divine energy after obtaining the comet for himself. While the festival grounds are in ruin from Bowser’s upset, all hope is not lost. Kersti, a floating silver crown that is the embodiment of the Sticker Comet’s essence, promises to assist Mario in reclaiming the falling star’s power from Bowser before he uses it to dominate the Mushroom Kingdom.

Besides rehashing an overdone plot catalyst from the mainline Mario series, several other concerns arise just from the opening cutscene. For one, has the cat got Bowser’s tongue? Why didn’t he monologue on how awesomely righteous he would be after taking their precious comet, laughing devilishly at everyone is doomed as a result like he normally does? Where is his assistant Kammy Koopa, hovering right behind the Koopa King to humble him with her advisory input? In Sticker Star, the snarling, practically mute Bowser from the mainline series and the immature, comically inclined one we’ve come to adore throughout all of Mario’s RPG spin-offs are now unfortunately interchangeable. Also, every single Goomba and Koopa seen in the introduction is acting as enemies causing a commotion in the quad, which means that these two species of Mario foot fodder are now simply relegated to positions as grunts in Bowser’s army. So much for erasing the stigma with non-partisan Goomba and Koopa citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom. Having other species that roam the Mushroom Kingdom sure would’ve spruced up the heavily homogenized Toad Town hub of “Decalburg” considerably. Not only are Peach’s shroomy denizens the only ones that reside here, but their designs are the commonplace Toad model with little color variation. There are no toads with glasses and mustaches, no elderly toads, no preppy celebrity toads, no toad martial arts masters in uniforms: only the most basic of toad designs scanned thousands of times on a paper copier. Paper Mario’s characters and their dynamics are now indiscernible from the ones found in the mainline Mario series, and this is really Sticker Star’s most fundamental flaw. Mainline Mario can skate by with one-dimensional characters because the player will constantly be focused on the fast-paced platformer action, requiring tighter concentration on every momentary leap. In a slower-paced, character and dialogue-driven genre like a JRPG, the dynamic nature of the eclectic cast and the NPCs, regarding their appearances and personalities, can either make or break the experience. They really couldn’t have formulated a more literal translation of the typical Mario experience in the RPG realm, making what was deemed as more traditional narrative fare in the first Paper Mario seem like an avant-garde depiction of a Mario story by comparison. Because mainline Mario is arguably the least narratively rich franchise in gaming, Sticker Star’s story (or lack thereof) suffers completely.

If the blank characters are any indication, Sticker Star also extends its skin-wearing symmetry with the mainline Mario series with its levels. Mario’s range of level themes is the archetype for all platformer motifs, using base elements to diversify the handful of areas on display. Because Mario established the blueprint of elemental themes that all subsequent Mario games and derivative platformers followed, their prevalence became exhausting. This is why chapters in Paper Mario set in raucous wrestling arenas, poshly-decorated commercial trains, and the fortresses of sweaty, stuttering uber-nerds are highly refreshing deviations from the simple layouts found in the mainline series. Even the first Paper Mario that stayed loyal to the Mushroom Kingdom setting at least used the RPG format to let the tired topography breathe to the extent of livability. Sticker Star and I’m not shitting you, not only features the bare bone essentials of the standard elemental themes with its six worlds but the progression is also conducted via a grid-based map like the one in Super Mario Bros. 3. Progression is but a means of trekking to the end of a level as one would in a standard platformer-centric Mario game, only halted by the turn-based combat at several occurrences along the way. Overall, most of the worlds found in Sticker Star act as less lively versions of the environments from the first game. The desert area does not have an Arabic toad plaza, the Boo mansion isn’t creepy in the slightest, and the tropical jungle does not have a single Yoshi in its wild grasses. The developers couldn’t have approached this facet of the game with a more by-the-books method if they tried.

Mario’s leisurely trajectory through the Mushroom Kingdom will also be detoured often by the game’s main collectible and namesake: the stickers. From the hub of Decalburg to Bowser’s fiery domain in World 6, stickers will be plastered all over the land like a daycare center. Fortunately, Mario does not need a razor blade to procure these collectibles, for they simply tear right off with a moderately forceful pluck. Firstly, I must delve into a tangent with the absurd emphasis Sticker Star puts on paper and paper-related products like stickers. Modeling Mario’s world out of paper was strictly a pleasing and quirky visual aesthetic that compliments the storybook aura of the whimsical Mario RPG. The few special paper “curses'' inflicted onto Mario in The Thousand-Year Door were presented with a tongue-in-cheek sense of irony, a novel idea of actually warping Mario’s thin anatomy into paper objects as a jokey afterthought when the first game forgot to utilize it. The developers here seem to be convinced that paper itself is the selling point of Paper Mario, with the constant crumpling of characters like refuse and weightless floating moments. They think Paper Mario will inspire players to pursue a career at Staples. Eye-rolling paper gags aside, I start to audibly groan when the paper initiative is instilled on the field as a mechanic. Sticker Star heightens the tearing of the small stickers to ripping the foundation of the foreground, leaving behind the molecular substrate of the architectural bearing. It's an interesting mechanic in theory, but leave it to the developers to botch its execution. Filling in the required patch to hurdle over an obstacle is merely a matter of finding a suitably sized construct and placing it over the impediment. This mechanic could have warranted some intriguing puzzles, but even Sticker Star’s new properties are painfully streamlined.

The sticker mechanic is boring and condescendingly easy on the field, but how they are used in combat is bafflingly flawed. There is a reason why most of the stickers are shaped like boots and hammers, Mario’s primary attack options one will recognize from the first two Paper Mario titles. Each sticker equals an allowance to attack, one per sticker collected that is displayed in a sticker album along with the healing items that Mario must peel off the walls. If Mario does not possess any attack stickers in his inventory, the only option he has at his disposal is to scurry away like a yellow-bellied coward. I could understand that the developers implemented this bizarre system to supplement the already bland digression of Paper Mario’s turn-based combat, but this is a horrendously miscalculated decision. The basics of combat should NEVER be relegated to a disposable item, regardless of whether or not it has been watered down to the point of melting. Coaxing the player into meticulously searching for stickers to stand a chance even against the wimpiest of Goombas just enforces long bouts of tedious grinding to pad the game. Or, at least it would if the player doesn’t realize that there is no incentive to fight enemies because Mario cannot gain experience points from battle. All Mario receives is a sum of coins, used to buy more stickers I might add. No, I am not kidding. The sticker system that the developers coordinated as this entry's specific gimmick can be eluded almost entirely.

Upon hearing this revelation, one might ask themselves that if combat can be avoided entirely in Sticker Star, how will Mario fare against the game’s bosses? Well have no fear, fellow gamers, for the developers have thought ahead for this predicament, and what they’ve devised is of course, really fucking stupid. In each world, Mario will stumble upon a “thing,” a notable domestic object of interest whose conspicuous nature is highlighted by its size and sharper, rounder graphical rendering. These series of sore thumbs can be used by Mario once he converts their state of solid matter into stickers and uses them on the field to bypass obstacles (ie. the vacuum in the desert world). Where they come into play with the bosses is that these household apparatuses are exclusively the keys to conquering each boss, their Achilles heel that will bring them to their knees. Naturally, this connotes that all Mario has to do is use the “thing” item during a boss battle without any supplementary damage to it from regular attacks, but it's also the only way to subdue the boss at all. Imagine the cricket sound badge from The Thousand-Year Door as not only Hooktail’s weakness to give the player an advantage but if it was just a pass to automatically win the fight. “Winning” the fight is simply a reward for collecting the badge at the end of the day. Did they overlook this, or were the bosses intentionally this cheap and effortless?

Super Paper Mario is looking pretty good right now, isn’t it? Paper Mario’s former less-than-favorable effort on the Wii was an odd duck that took some wild liberties with the gameplay and pissed off some series veterans like myself at the time, but it is a goddamn masterpiece compared to Intelligent Systems follow-up to Super Paper Mario when they decided to appease fans with another game revolving around turn-based combat. Sure, it technically returned, but at what cost? At least Super Paper Mario was funny, creative, irreverent, and offered something outside the capabilities of typical Mario procedures. Paper Mario: Sticker Star is not a return to form: it’s an aggressive deviation in every shape and form. It’s generic, bland, pointless, broken, tedious, and mind-numbingly boring, all negative characteristics that do not match its Paper Mario brethren. It offends me in every way imaginable. Perhaps the biggest offense is that the process of sizzling all of the taste out of Paper Mario was a calculated effort on the part of the developers thanks to Shigeru Miyamoto’s “guidance.” If this isn’t just a grapevine rumor, it's time to put Nintendo’s patriarch in a rest home.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

“Um, excuse me sir, the thing is, there’s not really anything wrong with The Itchy & Scratchy show, it’s as good as ever. But after so many years, the characters can’t have the same impact they once had.”

Thank you, Lisa Simpson. While this quote is obviously about the decline in viewer interest in the fictional cartoon series in the universe of The Simpsons (also a meta parallel on the state of the actual Simpsons show by its eighth season), I could strikethrough Itchy & Scratchy with Mega Man and the quote would still apply to the state of the franchise by its fifth entry. Mega Man 5 is when the gaming public started to turn on the blue bomber, for the long-running series on the NES wasn’t just overstaying its welcome: it was still drinking and hooting in the morning long after the party was over and everyone had gone home. After several entries in a franchise on the same system, whose potential is fairly limited by the primitive NES hardware despite the clear evolution across every subsequent title, Mega Man started failing to captivate gamers because the formula had been exhausted by this point. In Mega Man 5, he still fights eight robot masters with individual levels and climbs through the intimidating fortress of Dr. Wily afterward, all while pew-pewing with his blaster along the way. Mega Man 5 is exactly what one would expect from Capcom’s seminal series, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Mega Man 5 still possesses plenty of upstanding qualities that make the game worth playing even if none of them are revolutionary.

However, Mega Man 5’s plot is not one of them. Protoman is the primary villain in Mega Man 5, you say? Yeah right, Capcom; and I’m Roger Ebert. If Protoman isn’t a red herring for Dr. Wily, I’ll eat my own shoe. Nevertheless, we are intended to humor the premise that the rogue, shielded older brother of Mega Man is unmistakenly evil now, kidnapping Dr. Light and mustering up a new slew of robot masters as a defensive blockade for Mega Man to hurdle over. Just unveil Dr. Wily as the culprit for all of this madness. There is no need to insult everyone’s intelligence for the sake of artificial freshness.

How is this new crop of robot masters that Dr. Wily Protoman has whipped up? Well, there are eight of them as usual, and they are all distinctive from one another to balance their weaknesses so Mega Man can exploit them when he absorbs their power upon defeating them. Overall, the level of creativity with this flock of robot masters is up to par with that of the previous game, with only a few of them such as Wave Man and Crystal Man being instances of breaking out the trusty thesaurus to repaint over previous robot masters with similar thematic identities. Gyro Man’s main characteristic is a green propeller normally attached to an aircraft, Stone Man is a rocky golem, and Star Man features the gleaming astronomical object on the front of his body like an uncomfortably large insignia. Charge Man is the most unique robot master that Mega Man 5 offers from a design standpoint, for he aesthetically resembles a steam train and kind of maneuvers around with the straightaway driving force of one as well. Because of this, he’s also the most irritating robot master to fight because he’ll stick to Mega Man on the ground like stink on shit.

But thinking of descriptors to design new robot masters around is a relatively simple task compared to rendering their defining properties as weapons that Mega Man can utilize as alternatives to the blaster. The weapons obtained from these bosses are interesting, to say the least. Star Man marks the first instance where defeating him grants Mega Man TWO weapons: a star shield and an arrow. I can’t complain that the shield is yet another attempt at copying Wood Man because at least this sort of device always comes in handy. However, the “super arrow” acts as a less beefy version of the Hard Knuckle, with a much sluggish acceleration if you can believe it. Gyro Man’s projectile propeller could also fit in the long line of unsatisfactory Metal Blade substitutes, restricted to the stringent Y and X-axis directions with the speed of a softball toss. The bulbous Crystal Eye scatters into three ricocheting balls once it hits a surface, but what are the chances that Mega Man will find a wall to bounce this cluster of crystals off of along the straightaway path? Gravity Man’s weapon is the cheap screen clearer weapon that most players will end up abusing, as it quite literally blows enemies off the screen. At least the Metal Blade requires at least a modicum of skill to use. Weaponizing the dash maneuver with the Charge Kick seems novel enough in theory, but a tool that forces direct contact with enemies in a game that emphasizes ranged combat is as impractical as one would assume. The spiraling power stone is so wild and imprecise that I opted to use Mega Man’s charge shot on Charge Man instead of his assigned weakness. In fact, in most instances, I barely ever shuffled through these weapons and instead favored Mega Man’s upgraded standard blaster as I did in the previous game.

By this point, the Mega Man series had reached the apex of graphical potential it was ever going to reach on the 8-bit NES system. However, this relative restriction didn’t limit Capcom’s creativity with level themes. Manipulating Mega Man’s buoyancy, a platforming gimmick usually reserved for underwater sections, has seemed to have transitioned to the opposite spectrum of the outer reaches of space. Gravity Man features Mega Man walking on the ceilings, while Star Man’s stage is an unbounded area of the cosmos where Mega Man can soar almost limitlessly with one leap. Mega Man 5 still innovates with water, however, as Wave Man’s stage suddenly transforms into an auto-scrolling vehicle section with Mega Man riding a jet ski. The crystals that gleam off of Crystal Man’s stage are so decadently textured that they seem impenetrable like Superman’s fortress of solitude. One can argue that Stone Man’s stage is a refurbished version of Gutsman’s stage as Gyro Man’s is for Air Man’s, using similar motifs while refining the jagged aspects of both respective areas for a smoother experience. The robot master stages in Mega Man 5 are as consistently outstanding as those from Mega Man 4. However, I have to make mention of one stage in the game that stands out above the rest for all the wrong reasons, and that’s the domain of Napalm Man. No, I’m not singling out this one stage because it’s the most difficult one (even though it damn well is), but because of its insensitive parallels with a tragic war in another Asian country. I’d shrug off the contextual evidence of a jungle setting for a robot master called Napalm Man as a coincidence, except that Capcom actually confirmed that creating a Vietnam War-themed stage here was intentional. What made them think this was a tasteful idea? Why not have a robot master named Gas Man whose stage is set in 1940s Poland while they’re at it (sorry, I might have crossed some lines here)?

The points of progress with the Mega Man series can only be minuscule little additions at this point, and the evidence to this claim can be affirmed by the few that Mega Man 5 implements. Complimenting the nifty and convenient energy tank that restores Mega Man’s health to its full capacity are the new weapon tanks that refill every single one of his exhaustible beams at once. I remember wishing for an item with this exact function back in Mega Man 2 and now that it’s real, I’m at least somewhat pleased. I’m less ecstatic because the weapon tanks are as rare as finding a four-leaf clover, while Mega Man will stumble upon so many energy tanks that he’ll be practically tripping over them. The more conspicuous addition that the player will readily notice is a large grid of letters that spell out “MEGAMANV” with the fifth Roman numeral attached, and each letter of this grid is found across every level. Why should the player bother with the painstaking effort to gather these collectible letters? Well, the reward for the player’s troubles is another trusty animal companion, overshadowing Rush due to the red, robotic dog having one less function (and a wonky reworking of the rush coil) than usual. Beat is one vicious bluebird bot, eviscerating both enemies and bosses alike by violently pecking at them and depleting their health bars. To prevent Mega Man’s gameplay from becoming like 8-bit falconry, he also comes with a finite energy meter like any of the secondary weapons. Still, with the ease and personality attached to this unlockable ally, the player will abuse Beat’s abilities without shame. Surprisingly, I fully endorse using Beat with impunity because he’s an interesting reward that motivates me to engage with Mega Man 5’s main gimmick.

Even without Beat and a surplus of energy tanks, Mega Man 5 is much easier than every title in the series before it. One could argue this observation during the robot master stages, but this becomes transparently evident during the climactic sections in Wily’s castle and the illusionary one made for Protoman. A select few platforming sections involving some conveyor belts might stir up some spicy anger with some players, but streamlining the NES Mega Man experience is more noticeable with the bosses. Surprise, surprise, the Protoman that has allegedly betrayed the trust of Dr. Light is a shapeshifting alt-series robot called Darkman and the real Protoman is innocent of his charges. Color me shocked. Darkman and his quartet of multicolored, jaundiced bots are the bosses of the section that leads up to Dr. Wily, and every last one of them is predictable and embarrassingly vulnerable. The two roadblock bosses in Dr. Wily’s real castle are satisfyingly challenging and fit the imposing sizes we’ve seen across all of the mad doctor’s tower defenses. Unfortunately, it all culminates in the most pathetic Dr. Wily dual since that time he transformed into an alien. The first section is waiting for Dr. Wily to descend downward with enough space to avoid being crushed by his spacecraft, the second involves shooting a shot or arrow into the gullet of his skull tank and lastly, Dr. Wily zooms about in his saucer, disappearing in a circle of pink energy balls to illuminate himself again at a height that leaves himself exposed. Integrate Beat to simply contact Wily in the air and Mega Man is free to get a lawn chair, lift his feet up and relax. No, I’m not realizing that I’ve taken the Yellow Devil for granted as a worthy opponent. In fact, I’d be praising the fairness of the final fight against Wily here if all three of his forms weren’t limp and lazy versions of phases we’ve already seen in the series.

Mega Man 5 didn’t need to exist. I apologized up and down to Mega Man 4 for exceeding the harmonious arc of a trilogy, for it more than proved that there was still plenty of unpaved ground that when smoothed over with innovation could make for a tighter experience in a series that was still coarse by its third entry. Sure, Mega Man 5 is smooth as silk, but we’ve already knit the swankiest suit from the fine fabric the previous game was composed of and these are just the raw materials left over. Nothing Mega Man 5 adds is all too necessary or poignant in what the previous games were lacking, except for perhaps the weapon tank that would’ve been a lifesaver in earlier entries. Still, Mega Man 5 is fortunate to be one of the most agreeable experiences in the at-times excruciating NES library by default of being a Mega Man game. It’s ultimately an exceptional game, but it does nothing to impress the already initiated.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

Here’s a little trivia question for all you frothing nerds with too much useless information in your memory banks: what is the first PlayStation game that forbade the use of the classic PlayStation controller model, igniting a downward spiral that soon rendered it obsolete and ushered in the age of the Dualshock that still persists today with Sony’s game consoles? Was it yet another innovation that the first Metal Gear Solid contributed to the medium? Is it perhaps the reason why Final Fantasy VII is still held in such high regard? Perhaps Crash Bandicoot needed the double analog control scheme to perform rude gestures with, obnoxiously sticking double barrels in the air at Neo Cortex upon dismantling his laboratory? If you guessed any of these classic titles on the original Playstation, you’d be dead wrong. However, if your guess was Crash Bandicoot, you’d at least be on the right track. The Playstation title that dared to reject tradition and embrace experimentation is the 3D platformer Ape Escape. While some well-versed video game historians might sometimes credit Ape Escape with its place as a dividing line between the beta model of the first 3D console controller and its more practical superior, the general public of gaming seems to have forgotten it. In fact, Ape Escape is seldom mentioned alongside its 3D platformer contemporaries such as Crash or Spyro, much less in the grand scheme of the entire era of the 3D platformer across all consoles that Ape Escape was staunchly a part of. Tis’ a shame, for Ape Escape’s reputation, is worthy of more than simply a footnote in the early history of Sony’s tenure as a video game console heavyweight.

Ape Escape’s premise is fairly self-explanatory. The monkeys have escaped from the zoo, and pandemonium ensues. Specter, their savior, is an albino monkey (even though he barely resembles the same simian phenotype of his peers) that has been granted the gift of superintelligence by an experimental helmet. His superior capacity for insight makes him realize that he and his fellow chimp compatriots are under an oppressive human shadow while living at the zoo. But simply liberating himself and the other monkeys from captivity is merely step one of Specter’s master plan. The bigger picture here is that while Specter and the rest of the apes are free from human confines, humans are still the dominant species on the planet. To usurp the biological throne from human hands, Specter uses the time machine built by the professor who also made his helmet, and sends fleets of apes across a myriad of past periods throughout time, rewriting the course of history and ensuring that the apes come out on top in the present. Fortunately, the human race isn’t doomed to be subservient to their pre-evolved species, for their fates lie in the hands of an adolescent boy named Spike who will chase the apes across time to put them in the rightful, diminutive places. The developers ostensibly skimmed over the plot premise of 12 Monkeys and didn’t bother to actually see the film in full while multiplying the amount of time-traveling monkeys by a factor in the triple digits.

Recapturing the apes involves using a net apparatus so comically sized that it’s fit for Dick Dastardly but hey, we’re catching monkeys here, not butterflies. Using the net on the field is (technically) not assigned to a simple button, for it and the other gadgets Spike needs to restore balance to the world coincide with Ape Escape’s innovative, dual-analog control scheme. The direction of the net’s downward swing depends on whichever 360-degree swing the player executes on the right analog stick. The same function also applies to the lightsaber modded as a stun stick to briefly subdue the apes whenever they run from Spike or when encountering other enemies scattered across each level. Spike’s gadget inventory is found in the pause menu, but he can assign a total of four of them to use in a roulette by each button on the controller. The saber and the net are already assigned to the triangle and X buttons, and the player should ideally keep the two on those buttons because of their constant usage. The other gadgets juggled around both the square and circle buttons include a monkey radar that tracks the general direction of nearby apes, a slingshot for projectile damage, a hula-hoop that gives Spike a temporary speed boost when swung around, and an RC car. I don’t know exactly how to compare the neon-glowing gadget that allows Spike to glide, but I always feature this gadget in an inventory slot because how it allows Spike to mitigate gaps between platforms. Obviously, placing the utility of each gadget on the right analog stick is unorthodox, especially since this is the first game that featured the use of the extra protuberance. In execution, using every gadget is surprisingly smooth, with the circular span of the beam weapon and the net as a testament to that. Rigidity is never an issue while using the gadgets. Relegating the jump mechanic requisite for all 3D platformers to the R1 button is arguably an even stranger facet of Ape Escape’s control scheme.

As innovative as Ape Escape’s control scheme is, it is ultimately the next page in the 3D platformer playbook written by Super Mario 64. I suppose Ape Escape verges more towards the collectathon angle of the genre, only if screeching apes that scurry away from Spike when they spot him count as collectibles. The objective in each level of Ape Escape is to catch an arbitrary number of pesky primates located all around the map doing various mischievous things. Ape Escape is cut from the cloth of the exploration-intensive 3D platformer, as Spike is dropped onto the landscape and is free to roam around it in whichever direction he chooses to seek out the rogue chimps. Despite its relatively free-flowing design, Ape Escape unfortunately borrows the boot-out system from Super Mario 64. Once Spike apprehends the number of monkeys that the game assigns in the objective, Spike returns to the hub located in the present day. The amount given in the objective will never be the total number of monkeys swinging around, so he will always leave the level incomplete. While I enjoy the fact that the game doesn’t force measures of completion upon the player, I wish the game gave the player the option of staying in the level if they so choose to wrap things up nicely and put a tight Christmas bow on their package of recaptured monkeys. Banjo-Kazooie existed a year before Ape Escape was released, so perhaps borrowing the totally free-flowing, sandbox design philosophy of that game would’ve fit Ape Escape more suitably as opposed to the initial 3D platformer influence.

Capturing monkeys encompasses the entirety of Ape Escape, save for the two racing missions placed in between two worlds. The gameplay variety isn’t exactly nuanced, but the game does its best to divvy up the constrained parameters of its main objectives. I claimed that the monkeys would bounce around evading capture, but the dynamic isn’t simply predator versus prey for each one. As the game progresses, the monkeys will resort to desperate tactics to maintain their freedom. The grunts of Specter’s operation will throw banana peels in Spike’s way so the boy will slip and fall, a wise use of classic money resources if ever. The higher-ups are stacked with some serious firepower that they must’ve somehow stolen from the modern military. Some have machine guns and energy blasters, and others will spurt a barrage of missiles at Spike from a backpack. The irritating bounciness of their jumping around and their no-nonsense weaponry is why I suggest using the element of stealth when approaching them if possible. Still, the variety of the monkeys, as ruthless as they can be at times, offer a fair and engaging difficulty curve in what becomes the standard grind of the game. Also, the enemy variety from the digging sprouts that shoot pellets to the winged creatures expands on that variety splendidly. The only other collectible is the golden Spencer tokens used to unlock minigames in the hub. Seek these out only for the steeper platforming challenges they offer, because the minigames do nothing but reference the potential of the dual analog sticks, which is something that we are more than familiar with in retrospect.

While the events of the past are firmly etched in the history books that ground them in some kernel of reality, at least a game developed at the turn of the millennium has a plethora of time periods to reference. Specter evidently went to the deepest measures of time to secure the ape’s place as top dog, for Spike reverts the time machine back millions of years in the past to the prehistoric ages. Because these levels occur long before the dawn of civilization, foregrounds are heavily naturalistic jungles that feature unkempt grass, water rapids, and sizzling volcanos. One level takes place mostly in the tender, spacious insides of a carnivorous dinosaur named Dexter, a personal highlight that certainly deviates from the rank humidity of the outside (what is with this era of gaming and its fascination with exploring the insides of giant creatures?) The ice age shifted the climate balance of the previous prehistoric levels on its head with roaring blizzards covering the land in a quilt of thick snow, but the overall topography still retains a dearth of man-made structures and a lack of a busy, congested atmosphere. Eventually, the levels that take place in the era of humanity involve Spike traveling to feudal Japan and the Xin Dynasty era of China, and then to a castle in the Middle Ages of England. After that, Spike returns to the present to find that Specter’s manipulation of the space-time continuum worked well in his favor, and Spike has to eradicate all of his adulteration in the bustling city streets of the modern day. While I appreciate that Ape Escape doesn’t permanently stick Spike in environments where he must wade through untouched wilderness, the developers failed to reach the full potential of Ape Escape’s time travel theme. I don’t think I have to tell anyone that there were several time periods between the Middle Ages and the turn of the 20th century. It would be marvelous to see monkeys riding in horse-drawn caravans on The Oregon Trail, see them perched on the Empire State Building in the 1920s, or storm Normandy during WWII. Alas, the restrained level themes along with the paltry amount of them make Ape Escape a brief experience.

Ape Escape is also probably too silly for its own good. It’s a game with a kooky concept of hunting time-traveling monkeys but even then, Ape Escape goes overboard with this premise in its presentation. Ape Escape has bar none the worst collective voice acting I’ve ever heard in a competently crafted triple-AAA video game. It makes the performances of the first Resident Evil game look like a production of Hamlet performed by the gilded Shakespeare Company, and that game is one of the most notable instances of wretch-worthy voice acting of all time. All dialogue from every character is choppy and sounds almost like the voice actors are treating every line facetiously. When a man is being pursued by a monkey on the city streets, his frantic line of “help me, help me!” is delivered as if it was uttered by someone making fun of him while people watching. Even if there was no one in the recording booth to offer guidance, absolutely no one should seriously think speaking any line with this total lack of delivery should be acceptable. Specter’s voice does not match his menacing, Clockwork Orange stare at all, making every interaction with the game’s primary antagonist laughable. By the time Spike reaches the final level of Specter’s carnival, the game attempts to funnel in a lesson of growth with Spike’s character and his soaring capabilities as a hero, but I’m not slurping this down as a point of narrative substance. Ape Escape didn’t need to be campy or profound: the base wackiness should already strike a tasteful balance. While we’re at it, I can’t think of a more useless secondary antagonist across gaming (or all media) than Jake, Spike’s blue-haired friend who is under Specter’s spell and starts to work for him. I don’t care how intelligent Specter has become, no amount of high cognition will ever give someone the ability to possess people. Perhaps Jake contracted brain worms from inhaling the fumes of monkey feces for too long? Whichever it is, the developers didn’t need to shoehorn him into the game as a villain to motivate Spike to save the world. I would think that preventing an alternate timeline of being a monkey’s neutered pet bitch would be a substantial enough incentive already.

Ape Escape’s colossal strengths as a 3D platformer lie entirely in its gameplay. What could’ve been just a glorified tech demo for Sony’s new controller model and its capabilities resulted in something that surpassed all expectations. The fluidity of the analog controls is impeccable, and the unique objective involving swiping up monkeys in a net never grows tiring. While I remain yearning for a wider range of level concepts with the time travel theme, at least the modest amount of levels on display are designed to foster an inviting sense of exploration. Ultimately, Ape Escape might have crumbled in the eyes of gamers because it’s kind of dumb. Yes, dumber than an orange marsupial conquering a mad scientist with nothing but a pair of jeans. Still, it’s dumb fun all the way through. If Ape Escape was the beta test to see if the Dualshock would be functional, then no wonder the controller still reigns supreme.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

This review contains spoilers

In all honesty, I don’t feel all that confident or comfortable assessing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Why am I plagued with a looming sense of apprehension? Well, to be frank, it’s because I’m white. I’m not only referring to the fact that my skin pigment lacks so much melanin that I cannot physically tan, as the sun’s rays have always transferred searing burns to my skin instead of a radiant, golden sheen. I’m alluding to all of the cultural factors of my ethnic background that have molded my general upbringing whether or not I actively engaged with them or was aware of their status quo alignment in American society at the time. I grew up middle class on a street with three churches of differing Christian denominations, my music of choice was a variation of rock/metal music, and my dad votes Republican. And yes, I was an avid watcher of The Simpsons (a strong white signifier according to Aqua Teen Hunger Force). My background and the one that comprises the cultural iconography of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas are as contrasting as fire and ice, which is why attempting to delve into the substance of the game’s narrative, characters, and real-world parallels may result in a vortex of ignorant poppycock. The cold comments on modern urbanity in Grand Theft Auto III affect all city dwellers, and the neon-lit Vice City is arguably more akin to the nostalgic recollections of 1980s pop culture from an Anglo-centric descendant demographic, albeit of a certain age. San Andreas, on the other hand, draws its influences from a specific facet of American culture that is almost alien to myself and several other gamers, and should probably be approached with a modicum of sensitivity. Still, I have to discuss San Andreas, for it would be detrimental to my reputation as a comprehensive video game critic if I never even uttered a single word on this monumental achievement for the interactive medium. San Andreas is the most significant entry in the infamous Grand Theft Auto franchise, arguably the most exceptional title on the basis of quality, and a titanic benchmark for the burgeoning open-world genre.

A gangster’s livelihood is neither fun nor glamorous, or at least that’s what I’ve come to understand. The gangster genre of fiction in film and literature gave us a glimpse of the seedy underbelly of society to elicit a great vicarious thrill for all of the good-natured, god-fearing common folk. The highs of gangster life verge on euphoria, but every piece of mob media assures their audience that the repercussions of this lifestyle can be cataclysmic in more ways than one. While the allure of the criminal life is strong, one can still ignore the enticing criminal riches and intimidating swagger that come with it, unless you’re The Sopranos who argues that a mafioso lifestyle is a damning, dominant genetic trait for certain ethnicities. Also, all of this pertains to organized crime. A facet of the gangster world that is just as ever-present as Italian guys in their pinstripe suits and loafers carrying Tommy guns around are the street gangs predominantly run by African-Americans in impoverished urban areas, a harrowing result of the American government’s war on drugs and racial systemic oppression. Unlike the mafia, the excess and glamor of street gang life are far less extravagant, but the ramifications are no less disastrous. Still, the conditions of the streets where gang violence occurs are so bereft of any legitimate economic prosperity that it seems like flirting with danger is the only way to make a living. The vicious cycle of drug-inflicted murder in America’s ghettos among young black men was the subject of John Singleton’s 1991 film, “Boyz n the Hood,” and its breakout success gave the rest of the world insight into the Afro-centric state of depression. Despite how sincere Singleton was with his film, several insubstantial imitators came out of the woodwork like Menace II Society and Juice, along with an influx of “gangsta rap” music emerging from Los Angeles which expanded to other parts of the country as the decade progressed. Like its GTA predecessor Vice City, San Andreas is a time capsule that intentionally oozes the motifs and atmosphere of the raw and grimy scene of urban decay when it was ubiquitous in mainstream culture. I’m actually surprised that it took until the franchise's fifth entry for Rockstar to revel in its thematic potential. While San Andreas is intended to be manic fun like any GTA game before it, the game offers enough tact and subtle substance in its narrative to prevent the act of making mayhem in its culturally sensitive setting seem tasteless.

Enter Carl Johnson (aka CJ), a young, twenty-something black man who is seen returning to his hometown of Los Santos after a five-year stint in Liberty City. He absconded from his birthplace because his younger brother Brian became another statistic of gang violence, and he returned to Los Santos under the unfortunate circumstance that his own mother had also fallen as a result of their environment. Before he arrives at his old stomping grounds, he is intercepted by two C.R.A.S.H officers named Tenpenny and Pulaski. They blackmail CJ by threatening to pin the murder of fellow officer Pendelbury, who was actually killed by the two when he attempted to call public attention to their prevalent corruption within the force, on him unless he becomes their indentured servant. Carl reconnects with his brother “Sweet,” his sister Kendl, and a plethora of other familiar faces upon his arrival. He’s been away for so long that his old homie “Big Smoke” rashly tries to bash his face in with a baseball bat, confusing him for a common thief upon not being able to recognize him. Now that the gang's back together, Sweet orchestrates a revenge mission against the rival “Ballas” gang in purple on the speculation that they’re responsible for his mother’s murder, and CJ is the muscle of the operation. Rockstar has decided to continue their streak of setting the scene with the protagonist returning to the streets after a long hiatus to draw parallels between the player’s unfamiliarity and the protagonist’s refamiliarization. The only difference now is that CJ isn’t returning after any time behind bars, mussing up the traditional introduction a bit. Still, the opening sequence of San Andreas splendidly establishes the tone of the setting along with the characters that reside in it, mostly through natural character interactions as opposed to overt exposition.

Judging from how his return is received, CJ gets even less respect than Rodney Dangerfield. His long absence from the dilapidated cradle of civilization he was born into has made him detached from the rough and rowdy gung-ho attitude that all ghetto denizens live by to survive. Or, at least that’s a concern that his brother Sweet and other various acquaintances vocally express regularly. His neighbor and fellow gangbanger Ryder, especially, keeps calling CJ a “straight busta,” which I can infer from context clues means that he’s calling CJ a “lameoid” or a “poser.” All of his family members consistently give CJ a hard time, but Ryder has the gall to disrespect CJ right to his face. I am appalled at the audacity of CJ’s friends and relatives for treating this man with such blatant contempt because he’s a glowing instance of the continual evolution of Grand Theft Auto protagonists. San Andreas is far more character-driven than any of the previous 3D GTA games. CJ, our newest mischief maker in the realm of chaos that is the GTA world, supersedes the stigma of a simplistic avatar character that Claude had unfortunately established for any future GTA successors. Tommy was a stark improvement on Claude with a voice and a clearer background but let’s be frank, his brightly colored Hawaiian shirt carried his character’s charisma. CJ is as animated as a Tex Avery cartoon. He’s confident to the point of being arrogant, he isn’t afraid to shout at those who provoke his ill temper, and he’s quite diligent when it comes to enacting all of his destructive, illegal deeds. Still, he shows compassion and respect to those that he is loyal to, namely his older brother Sweet who gets himself trapped in many perilous pinches as an executive gangbanger, and CJ must provide his aid to protect him. GTA’s protagonists have been upgraded from emotionless psychopaths to a wavering, complex sociopath. Hey, it’s still Grand Theft Auto at the end of the day. Don’t expect CJ to be Levar Burton from Reading Rainbow. Most of all, CJ is uproariously funny. Because he’s brash as can be, he combats all social interactions with hilariously candid and loud retorts. The characters that I enjoyed from the previous two GTA games were the secondary characters seen through sparse interactions via cutscenes, but San Andreas marks the first instance where the protagonist is a strong contender for my favorite character in the game.

But the ostentatious CJ isn’t simply caterwauling at blank NPCs just because he enjoys the booming sound of his own voice. San Andreas’ greater emphasis on character relationships and interactions is a two-way street between CJ and those that he is close to. I’ve briefly stated that CJ’s loved ones and acquaintances give him heaps of grief, but the amounts of spurning vary in loads and stem from different perspectives. Sweet, CJ’s older brother, is fiercely dedicated to the feuding struggle between his hood and the rival Ballas gang around the perimeter. If the conflict between the Families and the Ballas were comparable to war, Sweet would be General MacArthur, patrolling the streets with a towering sense of pride as a de facto five-star ranked warrior. You can imagine why he’d be disappointed in his brother for abandoning the cause for half a decade. Meanwhile, CJ’s sister Kendl, expresses a disgusted resentment for all the senseless violence that her brothers are aggrandizing. She’s so deliberately detached from the Grove Street insularity imposed upon her that she’s dating Cesar, the leader of the Los Aztecas Hispanic gang, much to Sweet’s chagrin. The close allies around the block that support Sweet’s cause are OG homies Ryder and Big Smoke, the lieutenants that directly assist Sweet with missions of defending the reputation of the Families. Ryder is an amoral degenerate who brandishes his angel dust cigarettes as casually as if he were smoking tobacco. Gang activity seems to be a perfect outlet for this unfeeling soldier of death and destruction. Big Smoke, on the other hand, is more akin to a comic relief character. Whether it be his artery-clogging order at the Cluckin’ Bell drive-thru or his incoherent musings on life, Big Smoke is quite lighthearted for a man who regularly murders people. It must be a law for all rotund supporting characters across all fiction to be somewhat jovial. Non-affiliated characters from around the block include aspiring rapper Jeffrey “OG Loc'' Cross, the celebrated MC whose fame OG Loc covets named Madd Dogg, drug dealer B Dup, and his drug monkey Big Bear. While these supporting characters exist on the outskirts of Grove Street affairs, their existences are still influenced by the same destitute state of urban life. Up until now, GTA’s approach to character interactions was becoming acquainted with strangers, and the overarching goal of the protagonist’s relationship was still constricted by business. When every supporting character already has a history with CJ and some are composed of his family and friends, their personal chemistry heightens the dramatism of both conflict and moments of mirthfulness.

San Andreas extends the enhanced dynamic between the protagonist and the other characters with the game’s main antagonist(s). The opposing force that is making CJ’s life more of a living hell is LSPD officer Tenpenny and his crony Pulaski. One strong facet of hood-related media is the presence of a corrupt police force that puts the already underprivileged members of society under further subjugation. The constant slaps in the face the boys in blue inflict on individuals of the impoverished African-American community especially sting when they are from people of the same skin color who are perceived as traitors to their own kind, as portrayed with Officer Coffey in Boyz n’ the Hood. Not only does Tenpenny not share any kinship with those he undermines, but he treats them as pawns in a game he manufactured by abusing his power as an officer. He’s sitting pretty as the king of the streets, and he’d go to horribly despicable lengths to maintain his tyrannical reign. Pulaski is like Tenpenny’s attack dog lackey, enforcing Tenpenny’s demands with bellicose strong-arming. I’d say he represents the bad cop delivery to Tenpenny’s good, but they’re both rotten to the core. A major strength of Tenpenny as a villain is his confident control over CJ. One might question how Tenpenny could simply snatch CJ off the streets and make him indebted to serving them when their blackmail against him is baseless, but it’s terrifying to realize that this is the extent of influence he has over everyone that falls under his jurisdiction. Unlike the distant main antagonists of the previous GTA games, Tenpenny is an omniscient force of evil who appears periodically to rub CJ’s face in shit and remind him that he’s his bitch.

If CJ isn’t going to receive the respect that he so duly deserves, the player can assure that he eventually will, gosh darn it. How can the player prevent future acts of harsh criticism, insults, and other forms of impoliteness from being dogpiled onto CJ from all angles? The amount of respect stemming from the general perception of others is actually something that can be improved on, the top of the increasable statistics in the quasi-RPG mechanic that San Andreas introduces to the series. Given that San Andreas is relatively grounded in reality, albeit a warped one, and is set in 1992 and not 1092 (AD), the RPG attributes displayed here are all domestic. By pulling up a side menu, the player will see five gray bars that coincide with either a physical or personable attribute. These attributes range from subjective, intangible concepts like respect and sex appeal to the measurable fat, physical stamina, and muscle content of CJ’s body. Throughout the game, the player will be either actively or inadvertently increasing these stats, with a variation of pacing and methods to maximize them. CJ can visit the nearby gym to lift weights and become shredded immediately, provided he’s harboring enough fat to burn so his hard work doesn’t atrophy away (always remember to visit your local Cluckin’ Bell to refuel!). Other attributes such as respect are boosted in microscopic increments by completing missions or gaining gang territory. Don’t be discouraged by how disastrously low CJ’s sex appeal is and the immovability of its pitiful status for the vast duration of the game. Eventually, expensive clothes and driving around in a bodacious automobile will shift CJ into an irresistible, suave casanova this side of Shaft. Additional to the five featured in the menu are also a plethora of alternate stats. Excess shooting with any type of firearm will increase their caliber and spread, and driving around the map in between missions will ensure that CJ will gain a tighter grip on swerving around, thus preventing unfortunate accidents. The RPG elements are an oddly genius way to enhance the player’s engagement with the protagonist. A recurring theme in the GTA series is climbing up the social and economic ladder to glorious prosperity, and incorporating RPG character attributes alongside the protagonist’s narrative growth is a finely complimentary gameplay mechanic. The player will notice the shift in how CJ is perceived by the NPCs based on the stats at hand, even in a negative light if CJ eats too much and plumps up like a Christmas ham. Truthfully, I wish Rockstar had introduced something of this nature in GTA III. Claude was a vacant blueprint similar to a base character from an RPG, making him an ideal contender for role-playing customizability. Still, this staircase thought evidently works just as effectively for a personable character like CJ.

The RPG mechanics are just one of many ways to immerse the player in the world of San Andreas. An argument could be made that a game in which the player is free to cause cathartic amounts of chaos to their heart's content doesn’t need additional perks to enhance the experience. Nevertheless, San Andreas incorporates a plethora of new activities to spruce up the sandbox. Firstly, why is sex appeal a relevant factor in a game revolving around gang violence? Certainly, CJ isn’t trying to bed any of the homies. CJ needs to exude the manner of a debonair gentleman to impress the ladies he can take on dates. After saving a fellow Ganton girl Denise from a burning building during a mission tasked by Tenpenny (that CJ burned down in the first palace, mind you), the expression of her gratitude towards CJ is to become his girlfriend. But Denise isn’t merely a status symbol so CJ can brag about getting a little action on the side to Big Smoke. CJ has the option to occasionally court her whenever she can fit into his demanding schedule. CJ can show Denise a good time by entertaining plenty of the fun new features the game offers, including a rhythm-oriented minigame on the dance floor where CJ can flaunt his sweet dance moves. If Denise is satisfied with CJ’s efforts to woo her, she’ll return the favor by offering him “coffee,” leading to a cutscene depicting an outside view of her house with screams of pleasure echoing overhead. If you’re of the appropriate age demographic to play a Grand Theft Auto game, I shouldn’t have to spell out what is happening behind these closed doors. If CJ goes on enough dates to the point where their relationship is super serious, maximizing their relationship status will earn CJ the reward of a pimp suit. While CJ should be grateful, other girlfriends can give him the privilege of retaining all of his weapons and body armor after being wasted or busted by the cops, a GTA player’s dream finally come true. Normally, I wouldn’t condone adultery but here, I recommend discretion to reap all of the benefits. Another extracurricular activity that coincides with another of CJ’s stats is conquering the rival gangs that pollute the streets of Los Santos with drugs and whizzing bullets that are as precipitous as rain. Outside of the missions, CJ has to approach and kill three Ballas or Vagos members standing in districts with their respective gang colors on the map. This act of aggression will trigger a gang war where hordes of them will ambush CJ in three waves. Once they surrender, the territory will be CJ’s for the taking, painting Los Santos green like a St. Patrick’s Day parade. If acting as a one-man army in the line of fire sounds scary, CJ can recruit a posse of generic Family members to help wipe the Ballas off the map. Other activities verge more on leisure such as billiards, basketball, casino games, arcade games, etc. I’d even count the new ability to ride a bicycle as a merry little lark. Admittedly, none of these activities are as thrilling as blowing off the heads of pedestrians, but the fact that CJ can still engage in these mundane minigames helps the world of San Andreas mirror reality a tad clearer.

For more serious engagements with San Andreas, the game offers as many quality-of-life enhancements as it does frivolous distractions. I’ve bleated on and on about how shooting combat in the past GTA games is an awkward, imprecise process that involves more tension than necessary. To expand upon the life-saving targeting system, the player now has a reference to the amount of health an enemy has with a declining color-coded indication. CJ can also shuffle between arrays of enemies with the back trigger buttons to mow down multiple enemies with quicker efficiency. CJ can also execute a dodge roll and aim at the gas tank of a car to immediately blow it to smithereens in a fiery inferno. However, the location of this spot on any car is as elusively nanoscopic as the clitoris, so any occurrence in setting off this makeshift bomb was a stroke of dumb luck. I would execute a total face turn on GTA’s combat system if CJ could duck and cover behind walls and scaffoldings instead of merely crouching, but at least San Andreas marks the first GTA game in which encountering a gang of enemies firing at me from all angles didn’t make me feel like a sitting duck, causing me to take passive precautions to survive. CJ is also thankfully the first GTA protagonist who can swim and no, I’m not pointing out the irony of this milestone. How the developers didn't consider that the first GTA character who should've been granted this useful ability was Tommy, who resides in a city surfaced below sea level, is befuddling, but this other staircase thought comes much appreciated nevertheless because CJ is still in close proximity to the Pacific coast. One slight regression to the GTA gameplay is that CJ’s health and body armor are displayed with bars instead of percentages. I prefer having a pinpoint accurate reference to the state of my character’s being so I have a better understanding of how to approach dangerous situations. Still, complaining about this slight change is but a nitpick. Overall, the greater accessibility with performing the combat and CJ’s apt mobility make for the most capable I’ve felt in a GTA game so far.

Because CJ seems to have a higher battle acuity, progressing through San Andreas’ story through the missions is a smoother excursion. I’d need an extra pair of hands to count how many times I failed most of the individual missions in both GTA III and Vice City, but I copped a clear victory on my first try for every other mission in San Andreas. Tis’ a blessing that CJ is such a talented killing machine, for the total number of story missions in San Andreas exceeds double digits. Objectives in San Andreas tend to revolve around the GTA standard of mass murder and driving with frequent deviations to keep things interesting. One frequent element that pops up from time to time is the necessity for stealth. Missions where CJ channels his inner Solid Snake that come to mind are stealing a war veteran’s weapon crates as he sleeps in “Home Invasion” and “Madd Dogg’s Rhymes” where CJ must ransack Madd Dogg’s mansion using only a knife to dispatch his roaming guards, boosting the potential rap career of his corny and untalented hood acquaintance OG Loc. Still, San Andreas’s difficulty curve compensates for its lack of rigidity by stacking individual missions with multiple objectives or expanding the scope of one objective to epic proportions. “Reuniting the Families” sees CJ rolling through the halls of a hotel defending his homies from a SWAT team ambush that intercepted their plans. Then after wall-to-wall SWAT officers fire at CJ in enclosed spaces, CJ has to shoot down a police chopper on the roof and then blaze through dozens of police cars pursuing him while he makes a getaway with Sweet, Big Smoke, and Ryder. “Wrong Side of the Tracks” involves CJ and Big Smoke biking all the way past the Hollywood Hills following a train with four Vagos members trying to escape. This mission is infamous for not only its length but Big Smoke’s wonky upward shooting that the player has to rely on the unstable accuracy of to succeed. On a positive note, Big Smoke’s AI is far tighter here than in any instance of cooperative missions with an NPC in the previous games. If it were, say, Lance Vance on the back of that motorbike, the mission would turn from disagreeable to impossible. While scraping through some objectives by the skin of my teeth just to have another to contend with before completing a mission made my brow sweat like I was under interrogation, I appreciate the constant stream of climactic missions that San Andreas offers. Every mission in the game is all killer with maybe the occasional filler. There definitely aren’t any missions where CJ has to race to four phone booths or sit and wait to spend over $300 at a strip club, that’s for sure.

For as grandiose as the missions in Los Santos are, the surprising thing is that they aren’t even situated at the halfway point of the game. If the player opens the map in the pause menu, they might question why 75% of the map is obscured in an unopened blue and perhaps realize that the unexplored areas are not situated in the Los Santos zip code. The state of San Andreas encompasses lands that greatly extend past the parameters of CJ’s home city, which should be an exciting prospect for those who salivate at the soaring breadth of a game’s map facilitated by the open-world genre. As wondrous as exploring beyond the reaches of CJ’s hood of Los Santos is, the starting point of CJ’s San Andreas odyssey couldn’t have been started under less felicitous circumstances. Before CJ meets up with Sweet to dispatch a high-ranking unit of Ballas, Cesar calls him to show him something urgent. CJ is shocked beyond belief to find out that both Ryder and Big Smoke are working for Tenpenny in his syndicate to sell out the Families alongside the Ballas, the same syndicate that coordinated the drive-by that killed CJ’s mom. In his attempt to reach Sweet and save him from the trap Tenpenny has set up, everyone is taken into custody by a fleet of police helicopters. Instead of sharing a cell in prison with Sweet, CJ is bagged and driven to the southwest wilderness of Whetstone by Tenpenny, who threatens to harm Sweet if CJ returns to Los Santos. The “Green Sabre” mission that unfolds the game’s most crucial turning point in the plot has a devastating outcome. CJ’s world is completely shaken and disturbed in a state of irrevocable disrepair. All CJ can do now is reshape his life in his new environment and even though things seem awfully grim, CJ’s relocation has given him a golden opportunity. CJ’s story as a Grand Theft Auto protagonist isn’t only defined by financial growth, but a personal one through broadening his horizons past the deficient confines of his unfortunate birthplace.

Alas, CJ’s journey of self-discovery must begin below his former status as a Grove Street gangbanger. In order to hoist himself up by his bootstraps, CJ has to contend with surroundings outside of his comfort zone. I can’t think of a starker fish-out-of-water scenario for this black city slicker than residing in the podunk wooded area up north, where his racial background makes him stick out like a sore thumb among the unsophisticated white farmer folk, who drive tractors and only use their guns to shoot wild animals. CJ is proverbially naked and afraid in what is the antithesis of his normal setting, so he feels inclined to find anyone out here who is affiliated with his riotous way of life for comforting familiarity. Unfortunately, Cesar recommends somebody whose criminal tempo runs faster than even CJ’s. Cesar’s cousin who he hooks CJ up with is none other than Catalina from GTA II, yet another instance of Rockstar revitalizing a character from a previous game and seeing them at a different point in the series canon timeline. CJ and Catalina form a Bonnie and Clyde bond with one another where the two rob every bank and place of business in the rural vicinity, with the striking difference of the Bonnie character in this dynamic calling all the shots with Clyde scared shitless of her. We can infer from her role as GTA III’s main antagonist that Catalina is a deplorable person, but the amplified narrative and character interactions seen in San Andreas allow us to see the full extent of her loathsome personality. Catalina isn’t a firecracker: she’s an entire fireworks show firing off all at once and crippling all those in the blast radius. She’s an inexhaustible beacon of rage and rancor whose source of scorn is self-generated. She makes bunny boiler Alex Forrest look like Mother Teresa. She’s also the reason why the mute button was invented, for she nags and disparages CJ every five seconds they are together. This section is perceived as the weakest in the game, but I appreciate how it depicts how dire CJ’s life is here with Time Magazine’s contender for craziest bitch of the century, giving greater impact to his downfall in Los Santos.

Once Catalina leaves CJ for Clyde, who still doesn’t utter a single word, it’s time to head on up north in the 1967 Volkswagen Camper van belonging to aging hippie “The Truth” to the American free love mecca of San Fierro. This fictional depiction of San Francisco, while sharing the urban architecture of Los Santos as opposed to the wild woods of Angel Pine and the surrounding areas, is essentially just as alien to CJ. The steep, slanted streets of this fellow San Andreas metro are not covered from head to toe with loitering gangbangers ready to aim their AKs at CJ once he crosses their peripheral lines of sight. The friendlier atmosphere of the baked bay area sounds lovely, but CJ is still flying solo. Because the exposure that comes with lacking support is discomforting, the facet of CJ’s journey of personal growth explored in San Fierro is fraternizing with people who aren’t of the same skin color and don’t share the same upbringing. Specifically, gathering a whole new gang of people to take down the Loco Syndicate, the drug distributors who supply Big Smoke with his biweekly load of crack cocaine, his incentive for selling out CJ and Sweet out to Tenpenny. To put a hurtin’ on CJ’s former friends, CJ establishes connections with all walks of life in San Fierro. Wu Zi Mu, aka Woozie, is the blind leader of a faction of San Fierro triads who employs Carl in the interest of using him to combat the rival Vietnamese Da Nang gang. For having a leadership position in a crime organization, Woozie is calm, level-headed, and extremely polite. However, the mere mention of the Da Nang does tend to rile him up a bit. Zero is the owner of an RC shop in San Fierro, and seeing him and CJ interacting with each other during the cutscenes is as unnatural as the sun and moon sharing the same sky simultaneously. CJ has found his polar opposite in every way imaginable. To gain Zero’s valuable electronics expertise, CJ must vanquish his intellectual rival Berkley, who is constantly giving Zero grief with his weaponized RC equipment. Next to Catalina, this pasty, timid dork tends to draw the most ire out of gamers. Gaining his shop as an asset only requires the completion of three missions, but they are definitely the most bizarre and demanding missions that San Andreas has to offer. “Supply Lines…” is even a prominent contender for the hardest mission in the entire franchise. If I were CJ, I’d just hire somebody working at Radio Shack and leave this pathetic nerd hanging by his underwear where he belongs. CJ also finds himself in close quarters with his Loco Syndicate enemies as a tactical maneuver, which includes the brazen, purple Jizzy the Pimp and the prickly T-Bone Mendez. At first glance, circling the map to the various mission markers to conduct business with these strangers mirrors the impersonal interactions found in GTA III. On the contrary, CJ forms a genuine camaraderie with the people he meets in San Fierro, playing video games with Woozie in between hunting down the Da Nang and cracking jokes about the absurdity of Zero’s predicament with Berkeley. Cesar, the man whom CJ previously judged because of his ethnic background, starts to form a deeply compassionate bond with him as they work on building their San Fierro garage. In an ironic twist of fate, Cesar, a man from across the tracks in the no-man's land of Los Santos, shows CJ more loyalty and respect than anyone who runs with the same colors.

After dismantling the syndicate’s drug operation and getting revenge on that mark-ass trick Ryder, CJ ventures across the Golden Gate bridge beyond the coastline to the scorched wasteland of the desert, along with the sin city parallel of Los Venturas to traverse. In the gambling capital of the USA, the overarching conflict is Woozie’s casino business venture being eroded away by the competing one controlled by the Italian mafia. To halt the suckling straw of greed and ensure the success of Woozie’s new livelihood, CJ and his pals from San Fierro methodically conjure up the scheme for an elaborate heist mission in the rival Caligula’s Casino. A balder, yet no less stressed out Ken Rosenberg and a neutered Kent Paul also return six years after the events of Vice City to join the ranks of CJ’s new friends. The heist mission “Breaking the Bank at Caligula’s” is the climactic finale that closes this chapter of San Andreas but up until then, CJ isn’t twiddling his thumbs in the planning room waiting for further instructions. What this section of San Andreas showcases for CJ’s journey is the grander scope of what he is capable of. Acting as the tail gunner in a police car chase as wild and adrenaline-pumping as that of To Live and Die in LA with the Grove Street gang is thrilling as is, but CJ’s new compatriots squash the missions of Los Santos into small potatoes with their extravagant assets. Mike Torino, a seedy, borderline insane government agent, grants CJ full access to his hangar of fighter jets and compromised commercial airline planes to zoom around the skies of San Andreas, enacting feats of espionage that even Solid Snake would shy away from. Any mission involving flight is a hair-raising affair, with the fear of crashing and burning always a distressing possibility because the plane controls require substantial proficiency to prevent CJ’s fiery demise. Flight school sucks, but the courses are warranted. “Black Project” sees CJ humoring The Truth’s scattered-brained conspiracies, believing that there is a government project housed in the deep catacombs of the highly secured Area 69 facility located in the desert. Only a damn fool would even spit near this alert quarantined zone where guards would call an airstrike on a fly that buzzed over it, but CJ does the impossible and yoinks a jetpack financed by more American tax dollars than anyone could fathom. The “Saint Mark’s Bistro” mission entails CJ flying all the way to Liberty City on a hit job assigned by Salvatore (yes, the same Salvatore from GTA III) and flying back in one piece, and I’m still in disbelief of the country-wide scale this mission covers. CJ starts San Andreas with acts that would make him an un unnamed statistic but outside the realm of his hood, he performs stunts that would define him as public enemy #1 on all of the San Andreas headlines.

Even though CJ is out of town cultivating growth and wealth, it becomes time to end his adventure by clicking his heels and repeating “There’s no place like home.” When CJ finally returns to Los Santos, however, he repossesses Madd Dog’s mansion that was foreclosed on him and houses himself and his new allies there to aid Mad Dogg with the production of his big musical comeback. Sweet is even released from prison, so the story of San Andreas seems as if it's neatly wrapped up nicely in a pleasant bow. However, Sweet’s transgressions upon hearing that CJ has forsaken his hood yet again to gallivant off with non-affiliates touring the state of San Andreas means that closure is still out of reach. That, and the non-guilty verdict given to Tenpenny after good-natured Officer Hernandez blew the whistle on his vile ass erupts into a city-wide state of utter chaos that mirrors the historic events of the 1992 LA riots. To restore (relative) balance to the hood, CJ must bring Tenpenny to justice by exterminating him, along with Big Smoke as an auxiliary act of personal retribution. The “End of the Line” mission in which all of this transpires is a five-act endurance test that had me breathing heavily out of sheer tension by its completion. All's well that ends well when CJ looks over the deceased body of his uniformed oppressor and says, “See you around, officer.” The line gives me chills every time I hear it.

Understanding San Andreas comes with the realization that Sweet is the game’s main villain. Tenpenny is the flower of evil acting conspicuously above the ground, but Sweet is really the root of CJ’s problems. Like a strict parent, no matter how much money CJ earns or how far he climbs up the chain of command in life to better himself and his family, Sweet is unsatisfied with CJ’s success if it conflicts with his own perspective of success; dominating the Los Santos gang terrain as an unrelenting foot soldier. Near the beginning of the game, wiping out the presence of the Ballas and Vagos gangs was something to take pride in because it was the pinnacle of achievement for the narrowly bounded world which our protagonist was born into. After broadening CJ’s perspective by traveling abroad, initiating outside connections, and accomplishing insurmountable odds that make those around him awe him like he’s Superman, returning to the origin point to reclaim lost gang territory feels unsatisfying. Grove Street and all the baggage that comes with it is beneath CJ at the end of the game, which is why reverting back to being unappreciated and unpaid like at the start is undignifying. Sweet is an irritating anchor who is tying down CJ and the rest of his family to a life of squalor, but he’s still a sympathetic antagonist in a pitiable sense. Sweet has drunk too much of the thug life kool-aid supplied to him by the systemic restrictions of his background. He’s been fed lies of honor and loyalty that come with sticking to his literal guns, but the game proves that Sweet’s convictions have little basis in reality. Eventually, his stubborn, myopic dedication to the life that has been chosen for him, even when CJ gives him an avenue out of it, is going to kill him and cause even more grief for the Johnson clan. Using the juxtaposition between CJ’s success and Sweet’s propensity for lying in the dirt, San Andreas presents the viewpoint that gang life is tragic and unnecessary, which is how the game prevents itself from existing as a case of glorification despite gamifying it.

GTA III, Vice City, and San Andreas act as a loose trilogy of games from the franchise, sharing the designation of being developed for the PS2 console as early stepping stones for the open-world genre before it reached its mechanical peak in successive gaming generations. While the varying years, stories, settings, and central characters slacken the connection between the three games, I’m still going to reference it to convey that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is the The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of this GTA threesome. It’s the entry that dwarfs the previous two by catapulting the open-world design built from their framework into the stratosphere with ambition so remarkable that it is unbelievable that it was capable of being presented on the PS2. Admittedly, the shoddy graphics and compressed audio are a humbling reminder that it shares the same system as GTA III and Vice City. Still, Grand Theft Auto was never intended to be pretty: its allure has always been associated with the thrill of vicariously simulating the freedoms deemed too taboo to execute in real life. GTA: San Andreas offers so much content on one game disc that it transcends the initial novelty of committing acts of unspeakable violence that it could potentially supplement one’s real life entirely to the digital realm of gaming. For those who want substance behind the slaughter, San Andreas provides an insightful narrative arc into the dynamic life of a street gangster arguably more riveting and substantial than the hood movie that inspired it, created by a team of British guys whiter than I no less. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is absolutely incredible on all fronts and is truly when what we wished for the open-world genre came to fruition.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

The Spongebob Squarepants film released in 2004, to most fans of the Nickelodeon animated series, was the first vital benchmark for the beloved cartoon sponge. For me and most likely a fair chunk of other children who grew up during the dorky, yellow phylum Porifera’s prime in the early 2000s, his motion picture debut was the sponge’s Swan Song. Even when I was the innocent age of nine, I noticed that Spongebob’s return to the airwaves in 2005 after the movie wasn’t quite the same as it once was. The animation had creased its sharpness to look more puerile, the dialogue timing between the characters was rushed, and the plot premises of the episodes became utterly ridiculous. I seem to recall tapping out on Spongebob upon seeing an episode in the fourth season where he ugly cries and wails like an infant over fracturing his spatula, and the writers treated the melodramatic scenario without a trace of irony. Now Spongebob knows how Joan of Arc felt. Anyways, according to the online cartoon community, Spongebob has become appallingly bad since then and shows zero signs of returning to the timeless quality of its early days. Steven Hillenberg departed from the process of maintaining his cartoon creation after the movie and some corporate shills were hired on to maintain Spongebob indefinitely so Nickelodeon’s hottest property wouldn’t sink the television corporation like the Titanic once Hillenberg resigned. With three full seasons of the show beforehand with Hillenberg at the helm, The Spongebob Movie served as a marvelously compact way of sending off to the only era of the show whose existence I acknowledge. The tie-in video game released for all major platforms of the time is not as significant as its source material, but I recall it being an adequate accompaniment to the film. After brushing off the dust of nostalgia, I now realize that assessment holds only a kernel of truth.

For those of you who weren’t children in the early 2000s and somehow skipped over this event, the summary of The Spongebob Movie is as follows: Mr. Krabs is about to be executed by a shamefully bald King Neptune for swiping his regal crown from its resting place, except that the situation is a set up by Plankton in the first of many objectives in his “Plan Z” scheme to take over Bikini Bottom. To clear Mr. Krabs of the outlandish charges, Spongebob and Patrick must travel far to the enigmatic and dangerous Shell City where Plankton has sold the king’s crown off. Besides the alarming stakes of series staple character Mr. Krabs wrongfully being sent to the proverbial guillotine, Spongebob and Patrick’s (but mostly Spongebob’s) journey is heightened by the underlying theme of maturity and masculinity, proving himself worthy of the status of a man after losing the promotion to manager position of the next door Krusty Krab restaurant to the older Squidward. It’s a story of exceeding one’s potential and impressing those who underestimate you, with overt themes of masculinity and maturity that Spongebob and, to a lesser extent, Patrick are striving to exude. Or, the film is a lesson that one can earn admiration and respect from their peers and garner special attention from the ladies if they pick up the electric guitar, regardless of how weak and scrawny they are like Spongebob is.

Video games aren’t restricted by the run time of a film, so a number of select scenes from The Spongebob Movie are stretched out as video game levels. Such notable segments include the Goofy Goober bar where Patrick and Spongebob get drunk on ice cream to down Spongebob’s sorrows, the rough and tough biker bar where Spongebob and Patrick must retrieve the key to the Patty Wagon, and any swathe of driving implied by the film has been rendered as a chance to use the sandwich automobile. The abominable, monster-infested trench between the fractured road to Shell City is now fully traversable, sans the “Now That We’re Men” musical number to accompany it. While the levels do a fine job of somewhat fleshing out every conceivable scene in the movie, whether it was necessary or not, the cutscenes that glue them together to retell the movie are atrociously half-assed. Instead of playing clips from the film, that Jacques Costeau narrator provides exposition through mere screencaps from the film. For specific shots that are not found in the footage, the developers photoshopped basic Spongebob clipart that anyone can Google to dig up. I can’t help but laugh at how abysmal the presentation looks.

Immediately as the player starts controlling Spongebob through his grandeur-filled dream sequence that introduces the movie, anyone who played Battle for Bikini Bottom will notice that The Spongebob Movie plays exactly like the Spongebob game that precedes it. Yes, both games were made by the same development team, but the comparisons are downright uncanny. Spongebob and Patrick control the same, they have the same talking and collectible animations, and the hand still jumps in to keep them from dying whenever they fall off a cliff. All the developers did to mask the lack of discernibility was change the visuals a bit. Spongebob’s bubble Viking helmet has been shifted into a boxing glove, while the bubble rod base attack is now his red foam karate gloves. Spongebob can also launch a bowling ball and launch a guided missile with an ill guitar lick. You’re not fooling me, Heavy Iron Studio. I can tell that these are the same moves from your previous output with a new coat of paint! The mechanics of Patrick’s moves were at least tweaked considerably. The stupid, but lovable starfish flails his arm instead of humping as his base attack, he slams the ground with his @$$ (sorry, the game censors the name of this move with a dolphin noise) and he can cartwheel endlessly. Patrick can now also attach his tongue to a floating series of ice blocks due to Sandy no longer being featured as a playable character because her role in the movie is practically non-existent. The new mechanic revolving around these combat moves is the ability to upgrade them in a pausable menu. Once Spongebob and Patrick gather enough of the dumbbell/weight currency of differing colors, they can purchase a new upgrade to either these moves or towards another unit of health. All this mechanic did was foster forced grinding for currency because many of the upgrades, while optional, are incredibly useful to progression. Collecting currency for these upgrades becomes rather tedious, especially since the game screws the player over by diminishing the dumbbells by a value of one when revisiting levels.

Speaking of revisiting levels, the player will have to rewind to previous scenes from the movie game in order to collect more “goofy goober tokens,” the golden spatula equivalents of this game. Similarly to Battle for Bikini Bottom, the player will earn one of the main collectibles by traveling to the end of a level along a linear path. Still, the route to the primary goal in Battle for Bikini Bottom wasn’t entirely obvious, unlike the trajectory of every level in the movie game where the walls surrounding the path to victory are so enclosed that it’s more comparable to Crash Bandicoot than Banjo-Kazooie, minus that series emphasis on precision. Any deviation from this path is the additional tasks that vary in objectives. Two common ones are the rickety sponge ball and quasi-psychedelic block platforming challenges which are fairly engaging. The tighter control of the sponge ball is the closest the game comes to an honest-to-god quality-of-life enhancement. Spongebob also fights waves of enemies in a horde mode, and these are rather dull. Other challenges are locked behind a certain move like the throwing challenges for Patrick and the guitar wave challenges for Spongebob. Any level involving the Patty Wagon or slide has to be revisited from the get-go after the first challenge, and the extra activities boil down to time and ring challenges. Are all of these tacked-on extracurricular feats necessary? Unfortunately, yes, as Mindy, King Neptune’s daughter, will restrict Spongebob and Patrick from entering future levels if they fail to meet a goofy goober token requisite, which becomes fairly hefty as the game progresses. She stalled her father from executing Mr. Krabs at the last moments of the duo’s time constraint in the film but here, she’s impeding us almost as if she wants the crustaceous cheapskate’s head buttered up on a platter. Besides the extra content offering nothing of real substance, the developers should’ve stuck with a strictly linear level design rather than attempting to copy Battle for Bikini Bottom’s open format. The levels exist to prolong the exposition of the film, and revisiting past events to gather collectibles totally ruins the immersion.

Even without the challenges off to the side, The Spongebob Movie game is consistently harder than Battle For Bikini Bottom. I should be commending this game for besting the developer’s former glory in the one regard that it lacked, but the higher difficulty stems from artificial means. For one, the slide level, while never matching the mighty curves of the Kelp Vines, are egregiously long (as well as physically improbable considering that they often involve sliding upward. That’s not a slide!) endurance tests. The six or seven enemy types, who all somewhat resemble the robots from Battle for Bikini Bottom, of course, will attack Spongebob and Patrick with a barrage of enemy fire from all angles. The later levels of Battle for Bikini Bottom also compile every accumulated robot enemy, but their forces in this game are so overwhelming at times that it's almost unfair. This bombardment doesn’t become an issue until the level in which Spongebob and Patrick return to Bikini Bottom to find that it’s been transformed into a dystopian hellhole at the hands of Plankton. I lucidly recall having great trouble with this level as a kid and now as an adult, I can state with utter certainty that this level spikes up the difficulty harder than Ms. Puff at a surprise party. The same can be said for the final boss of the game, which is a brainwashed King Neptune wearing one of Plankton’s bucket helmets. Sure, it’s the final boss, but every boss up until this point (the cat lady monster creature and two encounters with Dennis) were repetitive cakewalks that did not prepare me for this in the slightest. The penultimate fight against the king of the sea is just as frantic as the previous level’s enemy squadrons, so I thank the developers for at least providing checkpoints for this duel.

I have a theory as to why The Spongebob Movie game emits sensations of being rushed as well as feeling all too familiar to Battle for Bikini Bottom. Some network executives at Nickelodeon saw the masterful work that Heavy Iron Studios put into Battle for Bikini Bottom and desperately wanted them to develop the game for the upcoming movie. The problem stemmed from the strained development time of a mere year to coincide with the timely release of the film, and that the developers couldn’t be passionate about a source material that hadn’t even been released yet during the process unlike the cartoon series that had been airing for years before Battle for Bikini Bottom was a thought. A mix of stress and lack of artistic motivation caused Heavy Iron Studios to cut corners, which explains why they simply laid out the foundation they already erected. The Battle for Bikini Bottom mold that The Spongebob Movie game was sculpted from is also the reason why this game got a pass from me back in the day because it inherently benefits from copying the previous game’s formula, and I love that game to pieces. Nowadays, the apparent laziness offends me, so The Spongebob Movie game is skating by on its inheritance no longer.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com