Extraordinarily frustrating. For much more good than bad in the end, but I really did need to talk with others about it, it was like "i'm going to destroy a pillow" with the feelings I had left in the brain stew.

It's in one way, fucking ridiculously well written. Delilah is talk on "not real" escaped to relationships as well as an explicit message on confronting memories. Henry is a "failure" and "cowardly" who cannot confront the pains around him ultimately thrust to realize he has to go back home and come to terms with life. Other characters, their relationships and stories whether surrounding Henry or being left behind to be found by Henry are also failures, painful retellings of this conflict with specters these people saw as real. It's all set to this sunset painting, this growing sense of longing shared by all involved for a sunrise we will never see come up for us on screen. We're denied even the beautiful, serene sunset as it goes up in smoke.

But on the other hand, there's actually too much catharsis. Too much foreground, really. What I loved most of what I was playing was how these background elements intersected, how I was left to feel that pain and wince in real time rather than when the reins were clearly torn from me. I don't mean to say that the cuts were bad, in fact they were perfect, it's more how this structure intrinsically needed to throw the perspective in someone else's agency for us to look at and realize we can't become the sludge trapped in the park. A lot of potential really is left to the cutting floor by this move, a timeline where we never feel a bit of catharsis by a mystery left unsolved, or one where we watch ourselves fail again by Henry's own hands, etc etc. This is what's extremely thorny to talk about though. Like can you imagine just walking up to a work, and going, "you know this works really well but it'd be better if you actually just flipped the whole structure to lean the other way thank you". Like who asked? It works for me not for you?

But the result, at least on my end, is that I ended up decoupled from Henry and Delilah's story for a good portion because the disconnect from the first hour and a half to the latter hour and a half set me ablaze. The dialogue and delivery was still incredible but my emotional investment was missing, at least mostly. Mercifully the background actually never left, as the finale to Dave left me moving away from my desk and pushing myself into a pillow for a good minute.

It's ironic really. I think the idea that this "huehue should've been a movie" has things so backwards (and also it's just really fucking bankrupt, like i'm not taking you seriously). There's so much here to add to, via additional player agency, without even taking away from the narrative focused on. I ended up exploring the whole map completely unintentionally, on the way and a couple times off the beaten path just to finish what qualifies as "the side story". I ended up fishing for a while too. In the end the release I'm looking for needed more 'play,' albeit, I'm no editor. This story still has volumes to speak for what it is, like I ended up discovering not through my own hands how Henry's parasocial relationship has an even bigger relevance as we are today.

I do hope there's a dawn for Campo Santo somewhere down the line. They made something truly special here.

“In the end, only we ourselves can guard against our obsessions. Only we can decide whether the road we walk carries too high a toll. We believe ourselves redeemers, avengers, saviors. We make war on those who oppose us, and they in turn make war on us. We dream of leaving our stamp upon the world... even as we give our lives in a conflict that will be recorded in no history book. All that we do, all that we are, begins and ends with ourselves.”










Ho boy there’s a lot to go through with this one.

The first next gen AC game, easily the most infamous title in the series (at least in the eyes of the mainstream audience). I was so fucking hyped for this game and I played the shit out of it back in the day and LOVED IT. I thought the campaign was meh but the gameplay and content more than made up for it.

It’s been almost 8 fucking years tho (holy shit I feel old) so it was time to pass judgement upon France and decide if young me was foolish or not.

He was kinda spittin tbh.

I like this game a lot but the amount of stuff I have to complain about requires way more In depth discussion so although I’m positive on it I’m gonna have to let the negatives take the majority of this review. So, let’s start with the good stuff.

The gameplay. That’s it. That’s what makes or breaks if you like this game or not. It is so fucking good man holy shit.
The parkour feels actually heavenly, they perfected the art of climbing shit nicely while lookin sick to the maximum output. Free running down is a godlike addition and Arno’s movements are insanely smooth. Everything just feels super nice. We didn’t lose vaulting which is great but we did lose ledge grabbing which is definitely the one nitpick I have with this parkour system. Outside of that though God damn is it fucking incredible.
The combat is probably my favorite in the series. It doesn’t have the crazy amount of useless but stylish tools and options as the Kenway games had but it makes up for it by being the first actually challenging and skill-based combat in the series. Instead of counter killing we now only have access to parrying or rolling from incoming attacks which is just exactly what AC combat needed. Everything is really weighty which makes the combat flow super nicely, even if the clunkyness of Unity’s engine shows itself from time to time.
Stealth is also one of the biggest improvements. Instead of being only able to hide in stalking zones, Arno has access to a crouch and cover system that makes infiltration that much more functional and satisfying. Social stealth kinda takes a back seat with the gimmicky aspects but it’s still in there full force whenever crowds are involved (which is essentially a constant in Paris).

The world design is insanely good. The recreation of Paris is so on point that it’s honestly scary to think the amount of work and effort that went into designing every facet of it. Buildings are tall and wide while the streets are narrow and crowded, creating essentially 2 planes of the world that the player can choose to traverse through. Building aren’t just there for showing and can actually be accessed at least 85% of the time which not only facilitates traversal but also helps to breathe even more life into the city due to how beautifully decorated and modeled the interiors are.

Single player side-content is p good. Lots of things to do ranging from building your Café-Theatre to taking part In Paris stories, very simple missions mechanically but they sport unique story scenarios featuring various historical figures and events that definitely got the kicks out of my nerdy ass. The crime investigations stand out a lot and they’re really fun and creative.

The multiplayer stuff I can only speak for my experiences from when Unity came out because I played that shit Day 1 and I had tons of friends on it to do everything. The raids were insanely hard to pull off properly with 4 dumbasses doing shit with no sense of coordination but were still a really fun time. The story coop missions are excellent and are basically the only cutscene story-based side missions you get so they’re definitely not something to miss.
For this replay I played Unity entirely alone (who the fuck trynna play this game in 2022 dawg LMFAOOO) which gave me a fresh experience and perspective. I was not aware of how scarce the money gain in this game was (Dead Kings is more generous but that’s essentially post game) since when I played it back then I basically did most of the coop stuff before I was even done with the campaign so I was drippin legendary fits real quick. When you’re alone tho it’s way harder to get to that level but it’s not a necessary thing to get through the main campaign. I did it just fine with very simple loadouts.

The progression in this game is quite unique because Arno is fully customizable from his equipment to the first skill learning mechanic in the series. It’s pretty good, I really like it. There’s a sense of constant improvement that’s very remarkable and customizing the look of Arno and his weapons is really fun and varied.

The presentation is immaculate like this game still looks graphically insane all these years later.

The OST is good. It can be somewhat forgettable honestly because a lot of the tunes although well composed feel more like background noise for you to get immersed in the period. It works for that but few compositions stand out on their own. The main theme in particular is pretty good but it feels like they play it in every single major scene which makes it like the only track that’s actively trying to be memorable. The one track that I really fw that stands out a lot is “Chase by Chase Basis”, it’s quite a banger.

Aight. That was all gameplay stuff because this game was a massive overhaul so there were a ton of things to be addressed. How’s the story though.

Well, the best way I can describe it is disappointing.
Unity takes place during the French Revolution, a time period marked by the fall of the monarchy, having their control stripped away by the people in the name of “Liberty, Equality and Fraternity”.

Yeah, I don’t think I need to explain why that’s one of the most perfect periods to set an Assassin’s Creed story in. Beyond the sheer visual potential this time period has, it’s something that had the duty to explore the philosophical aspects of the series and give a creative spin to history.

Well, unfortunately they mostly failed.

Unity is way too superficial with its themes and messages and many of its concepts are presented initially as super interesting but never developed at all. The French Revolution barely has any effect on the actual story and serves more as a cool looking background conflict more than anything.

The main character Arno Victor Dorian was the son of an Assassin who after his father’s death, was adopted by the Templar Grandmaster who chose to raise him properly and never attempt indoctrination, choosing instead to leave the boy out of that world. It’s a parallel and the complete opposite of what happened to Haytham in AC3 and yet this aspect of Arno’s life is not utilized at all and only mentioned in the story ONCE. His drive is merely to make up for what he did to Elise, hiding it behind a facade of justice and redemption. It’s such a waste of potential and it’s only one of the many wasted aspects of Arno’s character.
Next up is his characterization. Arno is introduced as a smartass jovial horny goofball who’s really charming and likeable but once he becomes an assassin, he literally just becomes another person for no reason. His entire personality is gone and he’s now stoic and cold, only giving straight comments and looking pissed 24/7 (WHICH MAKES NO SENSE HE WAS AN EXPRESSIVE IDIOT AT THE START). Sparks of his old personality show up from time to time, usually when he needs to have a big character moment like his drunk descent before the third act which is handled pretty well even if rushed, but these instances are really rare and inconsistent (at least until Dead Kings).
The last and final nail in the coffin to establish Arno as the weakest MC in the series so far is Elise, his love interest. She fucking sucks and he literally has nothing else going on inside his head during the main campaign that doesn’t concern this woman. Their relationship is sold as a cool forbidden romance because he’s an assassin and she’s a templar but Unity’s superficiality strikes again since that conflict only amounts to “you’re not in my boy band so I can’t fuck with you fully”. Elise is also a really terrible templar figure because she literally has no templar conflicts or ideals on display at all, the whole story she literally just wants revenge and being a part of the templars is just an inconsequential detail. There’s not a single scene where Arno and Elise explore that dichotomy they’re being faced with, not a single fucking scene where they have any sort of ideological debate. It’s such a waste of time and honestly Arno doesn’t act like an assassin either (until Dead Kings but again WE’LL GET THERE). The Paris bureau is a court of idiots who only command Arno to be their delivery boy which to me goes completely against the sheer concept of the Creed and yet they banish Arno from the Brotherhood because he was thinking for himself (even if himself was mostly his dick but y’know).

As you can gather it’s a mess and there’s still more.

The cast of characters is the worst in the series maybe to date. The only side characters I kinda enjoyed were Napoleon, Sade and Bellec and those 3 are barely in the narrative. The templars SUUUUUUUCK. We’re back to going through a narrative that’s just a hitlist of random templar goons that sport neat designs but have no personality or actual character at all and the only exposure we get as to who they are is when Arno murks them (which btw in this game instead of the classic confessions we get this bizarre and horrible replacement where Arno somehow telepathically sees important memories of his targets the moment he kills them???) so yeah, the villains stink. The main antagonist Germain is alright, I’d even say he’s kinda neat due to a few pretty good scenes he gets. He’s still really undercooked though but his good design, voice acting and presence make him a solid antagonist. I enjoy his connection with De Molay a lot I think it’s a neat idea that’s executed nicely enough.

The ending is REALLY weird because on its own I think it’s really good and legit way better than this campaign deserved but a lot of its elements feel unearned (Arno’s final monologue is fantastic but I can’t say I witnessed the man reaching that level of understanding throughout the game) while others weirdly address the weak parts of the script like Arno’s obsession and the way Elise pays the price for her selfishness. It’s a good ending tho, the final scene with Germain is dope as hell, like it a lot.

So, after the campaign there’s Dead Kings, the story DLC that Ubisoft gave for free due to the launch disaster. Fortunately, I can report that Dead Kings is excellent in all of its aspects.

It’s more of Unity’s brilliance as a game but with a good script to back it up. We reunite with Arno sometime after the ending of the campaign, now a disillusioned and depressed man towards France who wants nothing but to leave that dreadful country (relatable). Dead Kings in line with Unity’s ending begins to weaponize the script’s issues into something that actually works ("Sometimes love is a prison" is a line uttered that perfectly encapsulates this story). Arno is now stoic and brooding like he was before but he has an emotional reason to be that way and yet his proper personality still shines through here more than in the campaign once he meets Leon. He goes through a really nice character arc that gives him closure and a really nice send off to this game’s narrative. It’s just really good stuff and the city of Franciade is awesome.




This is my longest review so far by far and it honestly still feels like I either omitted certain details or simplified others which I think tells everything about how complex my feelings towards this game’s writing are. But even with all those fallings I still don’t think it’s a horrible story, it’s more of a mediocre one that has VERY short-lived sparks of something special. What Unity lacks in the writing department to me it more than makes up for with its game aspect. The gameplay is wonderful and the world is incredible, it’s deservedly the black sheep of the franchise to most but it’s still something I can find a lot of appreciation for even through some of its mistakes.