HeyCronin
4.5/5 instead of 5/5 because wander looks like a yassified final fantasy protagonist and they fucked up the colossi sound design
don't touch these gross switch "remakes", they're just shitty ports of the mobile remakes (which are shit to begin with)
This review was written before the game released
it's insulting that this game has not had a good remake since 1996, and it's looking like it never will. no, i do not want every JRPG to have the same shitty artstyle with instagram filters slapped over it.
2000
This review contains spoilers
i've put like ~30 hours into it, been drawing maps, confused as to why i'm still using the same shitty sword from the start of the game, and i finally decided to try changing my doll only to be greeted by more npcs with quests. this is all too much to be dealing with for something that was minimally interesting to begin with. if it didn't have the traps and shitty combat, i'd probably just force myself to get through it, but there's better shit i could be playing.
cute, but just barely qualifies as a game
1993
I forgot how much of a grindfest DQ2's endgame is
steaming pile of B-team shit
This review contains spoilers
i literally cannot believe how bad this game gets.
starts out mediocre (it's a nintendo game), falls over about 60% of the way through before standing up and blowing its brains out with a shotgun just before the finale was supposed to begin. i have never come across such obnoxious fetch quest filler in my life.
at least the combat is better in this game than in botw.
starts out mediocre (it's a nintendo game), falls over about 60% of the way through before standing up and blowing its brains out with a shotgun just before the finale was supposed to begin. i have never come across such obnoxious fetch quest filler in my life.
at least the combat is better in this game than in botw.
1998
This review contains spoilers
if they spent less time on making pretty cutscenes and instead made the combat, weapon upgrading and final boss not shit (I have no consumables or any good weapons so only way I have a chance of beating this game is perfectly dodging attacks which are barely telegraphed until I can cast liberate several times) then maybe i would finish it
1996
This review contains spoilers
(played on normal difficulty)
the visuals, the music, the concept of invisible enemies you can only locate through audio cues, all of that is 10/10.
once you get used to the trial and error combat, it isn't completely terrible. the limited saving/loading interacting with trial and error combat and exploration (fuck the ducts), and the vague objectives, is kind of terrible. i feel like a lot of it was there just to pad the games length out a bit.
by the time i got to disc 3 I had about 14 energy left and figured once that's gone i'd have to start a new game. i wasn't about to go through all of the game again so starting from when i got the last gun i was making save states at the start of each floor. i'm usually extremely against save states but i'm straight up not going through that shit again, this game is special and i didn't want my enjoyment to get obliterated towards the end, because otherwise i'd probably have just abandoned it.
the visuals, the music, the concept of invisible enemies you can only locate through audio cues, all of that is 10/10.
once you get used to the trial and error combat, it isn't completely terrible. the limited saving/loading interacting with trial and error combat and exploration (fuck the ducts), and the vague objectives, is kind of terrible. i feel like a lot of it was there just to pad the games length out a bit.
by the time i got to disc 3 I had about 14 energy left and figured once that's gone i'd have to start a new game. i wasn't about to go through all of the game again so starting from when i got the last gun i was making save states at the start of each floor. i'm usually extremely against save states but i'm straight up not going through that shit again, this game is special and i didn't want my enjoyment to get obliterated towards the end, because otherwise i'd probably have just abandoned it.
1995
decent game until it turns into a wheel-turning simulator and you are begging for it to end
1994
incredibly charming
was almost cry laughing during the first 10 minutes of gameplay because i was just getting absolutely destroyed trying to get used to the combat
was almost cry laughing during the first 10 minutes of gameplay because i was just getting absolutely destroyed trying to get used to the combat
2000
near-perfect game imo. went into it expecting to dislike the combat since i hate timed hit stuff (unnecessary gimmick devs shove in to give people with adhd something to do) but it's implemented in a way that's actually interesting and fun. one of the most visually beautiful games i have played, and the ambience in some areas is amazing. if they could have somehow squeezed a weapon quick-swap function into the game it would have elevated it to a 10/10 for me.
2008
vengabus
2002
i can't put into words how much i love this game and how perfect i think it is