Iru
BACKER
instead of reviewing a piece of shovelware intended for 5 year olds in my spare time, i'll leave you with the Peppa Pig: World Adventures' Queen Memorial™ instead.
1993
Historical events in the real world implies that Mario could've had the choice to kill baby Hitler or stop any other monstrosity and he feels it's more important to give Newton his fucking apple back, better yet why doesn't he also go back and just kill Bowser too. Like yeah you'd never get the present that you wanted and Mario wouldn't have a purpose but he's been getting fucked over by this turtle for nearly 40 years now. Too busy surfing to do anything meaningful in his life or contribute to society in the slightest. 1/10
hey there, this is a review for the guy who waited a full 4 minutes 3 TIMES IN A ROW before he decided to click on the game and kill it. I spent. 12. whole. minutes. Waiting, sitting ant my screen hoping it would fully turn from black to white and YOU thought it would be awesome to wait and ruin my day. FUCK. YOU.
2023
1998
Now I see what I've gotta do, Open your heart, and you will see
Heart and soul. What drives our heroes, and our villain to their goal, but also what killed Sega’s Dreamcast and fierce notoriety in the gaming industry. Mentioned in a previous review, I’ve always been curious about the rivalry that the moustached man and the speedy hedgehog had throughout their early lives. Although, throughout my earlier life too, I’ve always favoured Mario. Not my fault as a child I guess, there’s some kind of wiring in a young kid’s brain that forces you to essentially pick between one or the other. It wasn’t actually until late 2022 and even up to January this year that I picked up and played Sonic’s earlier titles for myself, and I was sorta disappointed? My perception of him was this cool attitude, daredevil speedster that zoomed and wittily ruined the plans of Dr Eggman and Co. The Genesis titles don’t do his character or what the franchise means as justice, as for some these games may be good but being made and produced just to be competition can ruin a franchise. Sonic however improved over the years, as each title progressively began being better and better. Sonic 3 & Knuckles is a game which I just think is fine but god if you’re a Sonic fan you’d probably find this game really awesome.
This is where 3D gaming comes along. The Nintendo 64 saw less sales than the Famicom and SNES but changed the course of gaming forever. If you look at the 64 now, you’d find it’s probably the worst ageing console ever, and it wasn’t even the dominating console this time around. The PlayStation released nearly two years prior, and with the increased competition, and the cancellation of Sonic Xtreme, the team only had 10 months to produce something new for the Dreamcast. Born out of struggle, desperation and love, came the most ambitious game yet.
—-----------------
There’s something about the atmosphere and how the game presents itself that makes Sonic Adventure seem so respectable. For starters, it’s kinda wild to see that this game was released as early as 1998. Few 3D platformers were released at the time (weird to think Banjo and Spyro were released in the same year as this!) but none seemed as advanced and less polygonal than the Dreamcast ones. Unfortunately, you do have to put up with releasing the same year as Ocarina of Time, Half-Life and Metal Gear Solid so you probably mean little importance in the year of 1998. Ok, maybe this one didn’t age that well visually too, but I’m happy that the aesthetics of this game still sticks today. The game swaps between this more monotone city scenery, new for Sonic at the time, and swaps them out every now and again with the more colourful palette that older Sonic fans would recognise; think Emerald Coast and Casinopolis for example. Helps balance out the repetitiveness of the game, as most levels are more unique than your average Mario. The level design in this game is actually really good! The more open environment does allow you to make more riskier and faster moves, and when you go fast as Sonic it feels great. The more linear levels mean little to no path choices unlike the classic Sonics, but it’s up to you if that’s a pro or a con. All are great EXCEPT FUCKING SKY CHASE. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PLAY IT SO MANY TIMES? The minigames are good and chop up the gameplay loops a little but having to basically sit through a 4 minute fucking cutscene when I was already bored from Sonic 2 is mindblowingly dumb. Another thing that the Sonic Team tried was the “Adventure Field'', just another hub world where characters would travel in between. It’s cool and neat for the idea, but it's mostly just two areas. And the fucking jungle. Whoever designed that is genuinely a horrible human being. I don’t want to talk about gameplay problems that much, mostly because I’m playing this on the PC port which is a port of the Gamecube port which is a port of the Dreamcast one. All I can say is, just use the BetterSADX and Dreamcast Conversion mods, and that is much about bugs that I’m touching in this review. Frankly because I'm also tired of hearing, “Sonic had a rough transition into 3D!!” Yeah everyone did, buddy, and every reviewer in the whole wide world has mentioned it. The game did what it could do best, and it threw anything it could at the wall and it stuck. The gameplay is fairly unique, seeming as there’s 6 or sorta 7 heroes to choose from. I have to probably talk about them now.
Welp, a quick round-up:
Sonic is what you’d imagine the game to be. Your average levels, go crazy fast with his broken spin dash (unsurprisingly fun!), jump on enemies, what you’d expect. His movement is really great and his abilities make you feel unstoppable. You’ll spend the quarter of the game playing as him albeit it spends the time introducing you to the rest of the cast, and acts as the “main story” of the game.
Tails is kind of a repeat of Sonic’s levels with the new criteria of beating him in a race. Basically, go as fast as you can. His fly ability is, really, really, broken and that automatically makes him great. Seriously, fly off the map and see how many shortcuts you can find. Makes Tails a fun character to play, especially after playing as him after beating Sonic’s story (on a side note, I forgot how Tails is literally 8 until I heard his voice. Bring back the kiddy voice. It’s way funnier).
Knuckles’ gameplay is fairly different to the first two. You still explore area’s similar to Tails and Sonic but instead you search for parts of the Master Emerald. Essentially he acts as a big metal detector and it’s our turn to play Hide and Seek with magic crystals. Really cool too! Either you spend about 2 minutes on each level or 8 depending if you’re as stupid as me. Not much to say about his moveset? His punches are kinda boring but the glide is pretty useful. His story arc acts as a semi-explanation for the whole Master-Emerald-Chaos-Thingy but who was really listening..
Amy does absolutely nothing to impress. Her movement is slow and her hammer jump is SO inconsistent. Practically her loop is running away from a big robot which is so sluggish that you don’t notice it except the first ten seconds of the stage. Also, she had absolutely no need to be in the story, except her bird friend ate a Chaos Emerald?? Worst part of the game. Girlboss fail.
Big the Cat.
Gamma is quite interesting, as we finally get to play from the villain’s perspective, although he turns good about a third through (but he’s cute so it’s ok C:). You speedrun through Sonic’s levels with some changes, except you have a rocket and you’re constantly on a timer. Fine, but the level changes are kinda improvements over the original.
If I were to rank them:
Sonic
Tails
Knuckles
Gamma
Him.
Amy
—---------------------
Story spoilers ahead
The game finally climaxes with the Super Sonic, which ties all the heroes stories’ together into a final fight against Perfect Chaos. It was then, during the second phase, the vocals for Open Your Heart kick in, and I feel something I’ve never felt before. This is what Sonic is. The rebellious counterpart, always crazy, inconsistent but filled with so much heart and love that you can’t help but feel admiration for the series. And when it’s all over. You feel like a hero. You feel like a badass. And that might never be recreated in the way that Sonic can ever again.
The Dreamcast flopped, and due to this Sega had to step down as a console manufacturer in the industry, even third-partying for their rivals. Because of this Sonic has had a messy and mediocre history ever since. Icarus, Sega pushed themselves so hard it destroyed their long-term longevity. However recently there’s been a revival in the sixth-generation. The Dreamcast and Gamecube, both market failures, have received a cult-like following as of recently as many have realised the under-appreciativeness they’ve received. Coming out of the end of this, I have only one thought:
Sonic is really awesome.
”Our positive feelings toward each other can make them work.”
”Our hearts together form awesome power.”
Heart and soul. What drives our heroes, and our villain to their goal, but also what killed Sega’s Dreamcast and fierce notoriety in the gaming industry. Mentioned in a previous review, I’ve always been curious about the rivalry that the moustached man and the speedy hedgehog had throughout their early lives. Although, throughout my earlier life too, I’ve always favoured Mario. Not my fault as a child I guess, there’s some kind of wiring in a young kid’s brain that forces you to essentially pick between one or the other. It wasn’t actually until late 2022 and even up to January this year that I picked up and played Sonic’s earlier titles for myself, and I was sorta disappointed? My perception of him was this cool attitude, daredevil speedster that zoomed and wittily ruined the plans of Dr Eggman and Co. The Genesis titles don’t do his character or what the franchise means as justice, as for some these games may be good but being made and produced just to be competition can ruin a franchise. Sonic however improved over the years, as each title progressively began being better and better. Sonic 3 & Knuckles is a game which I just think is fine but god if you’re a Sonic fan you’d probably find this game really awesome.
This is where 3D gaming comes along. The Nintendo 64 saw less sales than the Famicom and SNES but changed the course of gaming forever. If you look at the 64 now, you’d find it’s probably the worst ageing console ever, and it wasn’t even the dominating console this time around. The PlayStation released nearly two years prior, and with the increased competition, and the cancellation of Sonic Xtreme, the team only had 10 months to produce something new for the Dreamcast. Born out of struggle, desperation and love, came the most ambitious game yet.
—-----------------
There’s something about the atmosphere and how the game presents itself that makes Sonic Adventure seem so respectable. For starters, it’s kinda wild to see that this game was released as early as 1998. Few 3D platformers were released at the time (weird to think Banjo and Spyro were released in the same year as this!) but none seemed as advanced and less polygonal than the Dreamcast ones. Unfortunately, you do have to put up with releasing the same year as Ocarina of Time, Half-Life and Metal Gear Solid so you probably mean little importance in the year of 1998. Ok, maybe this one didn’t age that well visually too, but I’m happy that the aesthetics of this game still sticks today. The game swaps between this more monotone city scenery, new for Sonic at the time, and swaps them out every now and again with the more colourful palette that older Sonic fans would recognise; think Emerald Coast and Casinopolis for example. Helps balance out the repetitiveness of the game, as most levels are more unique than your average Mario. The level design in this game is actually really good! The more open environment does allow you to make more riskier and faster moves, and when you go fast as Sonic it feels great. The more linear levels mean little to no path choices unlike the classic Sonics, but it’s up to you if that’s a pro or a con. All are great EXCEPT FUCKING SKY CHASE. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PLAY IT SO MANY TIMES? The minigames are good and chop up the gameplay loops a little but having to basically sit through a 4 minute fucking cutscene when I was already bored from Sonic 2 is mindblowingly dumb. Another thing that the Sonic Team tried was the “Adventure Field'', just another hub world where characters would travel in between. It’s cool and neat for the idea, but it's mostly just two areas. And the fucking jungle. Whoever designed that is genuinely a horrible human being. I don’t want to talk about gameplay problems that much, mostly because I’m playing this on the PC port which is a port of the Gamecube port which is a port of the Dreamcast one. All I can say is, just use the BetterSADX and Dreamcast Conversion mods, and that is much about bugs that I’m touching in this review. Frankly because I'm also tired of hearing, “Sonic had a rough transition into 3D!!” Yeah everyone did, buddy, and every reviewer in the whole wide world has mentioned it. The game did what it could do best, and it threw anything it could at the wall and it stuck. The gameplay is fairly unique, seeming as there’s 6 or sorta 7 heroes to choose from. I have to probably talk about them now.
Welp, a quick round-up:
Sonic is what you’d imagine the game to be. Your average levels, go crazy fast with his broken spin dash (unsurprisingly fun!), jump on enemies, what you’d expect. His movement is really great and his abilities make you feel unstoppable. You’ll spend the quarter of the game playing as him albeit it spends the time introducing you to the rest of the cast, and acts as the “main story” of the game.
Tails is kind of a repeat of Sonic’s levels with the new criteria of beating him in a race. Basically, go as fast as you can. His fly ability is, really, really, broken and that automatically makes him great. Seriously, fly off the map and see how many shortcuts you can find. Makes Tails a fun character to play, especially after playing as him after beating Sonic’s story (on a side note, I forgot how Tails is literally 8 until I heard his voice. Bring back the kiddy voice. It’s way funnier).
Knuckles’ gameplay is fairly different to the first two. You still explore area’s similar to Tails and Sonic but instead you search for parts of the Master Emerald. Essentially he acts as a big metal detector and it’s our turn to play Hide and Seek with magic crystals. Really cool too! Either you spend about 2 minutes on each level or 8 depending if you’re as stupid as me. Not much to say about his moveset? His punches are kinda boring but the glide is pretty useful. His story arc acts as a semi-explanation for the whole Master-Emerald-Chaos-Thingy but who was really listening..
Amy does absolutely nothing to impress. Her movement is slow and her hammer jump is SO inconsistent. Practically her loop is running away from a big robot which is so sluggish that you don’t notice it except the first ten seconds of the stage. Also, she had absolutely no need to be in the story, except her bird friend ate a Chaos Emerald?? Worst part of the game. Girlboss fail.
Big the Cat.
Gamma is quite interesting, as we finally get to play from the villain’s perspective, although he turns good about a third through (but he’s cute so it’s ok C:). You speedrun through Sonic’s levels with some changes, except you have a rocket and you’re constantly on a timer. Fine, but the level changes are kinda improvements over the original.
If I were to rank them:
Sonic
Tails
Knuckles
Gamma
Him.
Amy
—---------------------
Story spoilers ahead
The game finally climaxes with the Super Sonic, which ties all the heroes stories’ together into a final fight against Perfect Chaos. It was then, during the second phase, the vocals for Open Your Heart kick in, and I feel something I’ve never felt before. This is what Sonic is. The rebellious counterpart, always crazy, inconsistent but filled with so much heart and love that you can’t help but feel admiration for the series. And when it’s all over. You feel like a hero. You feel like a badass. And that might never be recreated in the way that Sonic can ever again.
The Dreamcast flopped, and due to this Sega had to step down as a console manufacturer in the industry, even third-partying for their rivals. Because of this Sonic has had a messy and mediocre history ever since. Icarus, Sega pushed themselves so hard it destroyed their long-term longevity. However recently there’s been a revival in the sixth-generation. The Dreamcast and Gamecube, both market failures, have received a cult-like following as of recently as many have realised the under-appreciativeness they’ve received. Coming out of the end of this, I have only one thought:
Sonic is really awesome.
”Our positive feelings toward each other can make them work.”
”Our hearts together form awesome power.”
Nintendo: “so that’s all the game boy advance games coming to NSO Expansion Pack, time for the last smaller news for the day”
“yeah that was cool I guess”
Nintendo: “Metroid Prime is fully remastered for the Switch by the way and we’re shadow dropping it later today.”
“yeah that was HUH”
“yeah that was cool I guess”
Nintendo: “Metroid Prime is fully remastered for the Switch by the way and we’re shadow dropping it later today.”
“yeah that was HUH”
2005
"Master! We're in a tight spot!"
Man, I'm so disappointed. Not in the sense that Killer7 fell short of expectations or that it failed to meet them, that there has never been a game that feels interesting and unique, to which I can't seem to play. Born from the Capcom 5, Killer7 is nothing more than a weird and feverish cult classic born from the spirit of Suda himself. The Kill the Past series, or what I've played so far, is so innovative in itself. Flower, Sun and Rain, for example, unmistakably changed what it meant to be a walking simulator and had the story to tell the message to destroy the burden of your past. The mundane loop and gameplay , though tedious at first, hits slow and the game ends with one of Suda's strongest works in an outstanding series.
And Killer7?
I honestly don't know, I'm having a hard time getting anywhere far in the game. Weird Rail shooter/survival-horror-esque gameplay is probably not my thing. I don't like doing pausing and having to take my shots anxiously, I've always assumed this game to have fast and smoother action. The puzzles, in my opinion, do not match my assumed mood of Killer7. Weird, must-haves of survival horror are known their puzzles, Silent Hill 2, Resident Evil the works..I don't know, maybe I'll go back and try playing this. This is not a review or criticism of itself, in fact you should go install it and at least try it now. Just frustration that I can't seem to enjoy it as much as I wanted to. It sucks, everything surrounding the game is captivating and it tries to draw you in, but god it's a challenge to see this game's wonders. Just sadness, but nothing but respect for this title. Unsurprisingly, one of most bizarre works by Grasshopper and a style, direction and story that can never be replicated again. There will never be anything again like Killer7.
Except Hopper7.
Or Killer8.
"In the name of Harman..."
Man, I'm so disappointed. Not in the sense that Killer7 fell short of expectations or that it failed to meet them, that there has never been a game that feels interesting and unique, to which I can't seem to play. Born from the Capcom 5, Killer7 is nothing more than a weird and feverish cult classic born from the spirit of Suda himself. The Kill the Past series, or what I've played so far, is so innovative in itself. Flower, Sun and Rain, for example, unmistakably changed what it meant to be a walking simulator and had the story to tell the message to destroy the burden of your past. The mundane loop and gameplay , though tedious at first, hits slow and the game ends with one of Suda's strongest works in an outstanding series.
And Killer7?
I honestly don't know, I'm having a hard time getting anywhere far in the game. Weird Rail shooter/survival-horror-esque gameplay is probably not my thing. I don't like doing pausing and having to take my shots anxiously, I've always assumed this game to have fast and smoother action. The puzzles, in my opinion, do not match my assumed mood of Killer7. Weird, must-haves of survival horror are known their puzzles, Silent Hill 2, Resident Evil the works..I don't know, maybe I'll go back and try playing this. This is not a review or criticism of itself, in fact you should go install it and at least try it now. Just frustration that I can't seem to enjoy it as much as I wanted to. It sucks, everything surrounding the game is captivating and it tries to draw you in, but god it's a challenge to see this game's wonders. Just sadness, but nothing but respect for this title. Unsurprisingly, one of most bizarre works by Grasshopper and a style, direction and story that can never be replicated again. There will never be anything again like Killer7.
Except Hopper7.
Or Killer8.
"In the name of Harman..."
2023
favourite genre of game is mikami with a few crack rocks getting told he can just make whatever the fuck he wants
2023
hell nah they made the fire ember into a merryweather comic
2023
indie horror developers passing the torch of kids company gone evil arg game theory title every year or so
2018
shoutout to everyone who played this game once only for amazon to hand out steam bans to all inactive users. yes it shows up on your steam profile, silly.
This review contains spoilers
everybody gangsta til' sumio asks which orphanage she was raised
2022
“from the mind of Justin Roliand”
no. no. we’re not doing this.
no. no. we’re not doing this.
2022
Holy shit! There has never been something released before that I dislike yet absolutely want so badly!
To write more seriously, I was extremely surprised when Nvidia shadow-dropped on a livestream their latest technology in which they are able to implement RTX into most games that support DirectX8 and 9. For many this came out of nowhere and to a bigger surprise a playable showcase was being released; players could experience the entirety of Portal with RTX-Remix on.
From a technical standpoint, Portal with RTX is nothing more than a sublime marvel and an exciting look into the future of graphics development. The RTX part doesn't actually mess with any of the game files itself but instead acts like a wrapper. The gist is that modders with just a click of a button, RTX Remix will take all render data for textures, lighting etc. and load it into the application itself, allowing modders to change these to their hearts content. This new software seems to have no downsides, doesn't it? Except your game must have a fixed function pipeline renderer so games like New Vegas won't work. Hooray.
However, the decision to revolve the tech demo around Portal is in itself flawed and unluckily damaging to what Nvidia want to show. To put it simply, the RTX often works against Portal's art direction. When we have an environment that is supposed to be decrepit and abandoned, it no longer makes any sense to have shiny, reflective surfaces. When we are supposed to have sterile blue lighting and blue surfaces that help invoke a feeling of isolation, we are given instead a 2017 Minecraft shader pack. What we lose in this "DLC" is important details in the game itself as well. The walls are originally supposed to be made from lunar rock and now everything seems to be made out of Portal 2's metal. Albeit impressive, pushing out light reflections and HD textures seems to be losing what made Portal even special in the first place.
This isn't really Nvidia fault, he technology is there and it's impressive. If you want to replay Portal and perhaps want to check out something more refreshing then try the RTX mod (if your PC can even handle it, my 3060 struggled even with 30fps). However there is not any reason to play this over the original if it's your first time into the Portal series. It's weird how except for DirectX issues this showcase wasn't done for Portal 2, since the game deals with more open spaces and opportunities for fauna reflection. However we can only wait to see where this goes in the future...
just wished it worked for New Vegas :(
To write more seriously, I was extremely surprised when Nvidia shadow-dropped on a livestream their latest technology in which they are able to implement RTX into most games that support DirectX8 and 9. For many this came out of nowhere and to a bigger surprise a playable showcase was being released; players could experience the entirety of Portal with RTX-Remix on.
From a technical standpoint, Portal with RTX is nothing more than a sublime marvel and an exciting look into the future of graphics development. The RTX part doesn't actually mess with any of the game files itself but instead acts like a wrapper. The gist is that modders with just a click of a button, RTX Remix will take all render data for textures, lighting etc. and load it into the application itself, allowing modders to change these to their hearts content. This new software seems to have no downsides, doesn't it? Except your game must have a fixed function pipeline renderer so games like New Vegas won't work. Hooray.
However, the decision to revolve the tech demo around Portal is in itself flawed and unluckily damaging to what Nvidia want to show. To put it simply, the RTX often works against Portal's art direction. When we have an environment that is supposed to be decrepit and abandoned, it no longer makes any sense to have shiny, reflective surfaces. When we are supposed to have sterile blue lighting and blue surfaces that help invoke a feeling of isolation, we are given instead a 2017 Minecraft shader pack. What we lose in this "DLC" is important details in the game itself as well. The walls are originally supposed to be made from lunar rock and now everything seems to be made out of Portal 2's metal. Albeit impressive, pushing out light reflections and HD textures seems to be losing what made Portal even special in the first place.
This isn't really Nvidia fault, he technology is there and it's impressive. If you want to replay Portal and perhaps want to check out something more refreshing then try the RTX mod (if your PC can even handle it, my 3060 struggled even with 30fps). However there is not any reason to play this over the original if it's your first time into the Portal series. It's weird how except for DirectX issues this showcase wasn't done for Portal 2, since the game deals with more open spaces and opportunities for fauna reflection. However we can only wait to see where this goes in the future...
just wished it worked for New Vegas :(
2022
you know you’re in for a treat when the early access beta game comes out with 3 full story DLCs