genuinely one of the funniest pieces of interactive software one can witness. Hong Kong 97 was made in two days by two video game pirates in 1995 and you can tell because as a game it's barely functional, and everything about it is complete and utter madness. to the 6 seconds loop of I Love Beijing Tiananmen to the explosion sprites being photos of a mushroom cloud, to the game over screen being a real life dead body, to the objective of killing the 1.2 billion of "ugly fucking reds" and their super weapon being the floating severed head of a deceased Deng Xiaoping, who was alive when the game was made but died in 1997, this is a game that only could've been made by shitposters wanting to take the piss out of the Chinese government and I absolutely love it.

"Two steps forward, one step back" is how I would describe Metroid II: Return of Samus. for every genuine improvement made to the original game, and there are a lot, there's an unfortunate compromise made due to the inherent limitations of the GameBoy.

let's start with the improvements. for one, Metroid II is a lot less frustrating than its predecessor for multiple reasons. firstly, Samus is a lot less slipery, and so she no longer slips after landing. controlling her is snappy and responsive, and the floaty jump means it's very easy to land where you want to. the newly added abilities to crouch before entering the morph ball as well as shooting downwards are a god send and singlehandedly make the controls a lot smoother.
secondly, the level design is a lot less dickish. there's no massive dead ends, platforms are wider so they're easier to land on, no beginner's trap, as well as a lot more landmarks and unique rooms, meaning navigation is easier and you're less likely to get truly lost. Metroid II, unlike the first game, never purposefully wastes your time, which is greatly appreciated. this, coupled with the addition of save stations and energy/missile recharges, while few and far between and the latter being hidden, means the game overall is way easier.
additionally, enemies deal less damage, and due to the capacity of the GameBoy, creatures can't fill the screen without setting the poor console on fire, so there's less enemies and you're never overwhelmed. this allows creature design to also be more detailed ironically enough, as sprites are generally a lot bigger due to the reduced screen size. this means there's no slowdowns which is also appreciated, the game runs at a crisp 59.7 FPS and never dropped once. the only true challenge comes from the titular Metroids who can be pretty difficult to fight especially when they surprise you, though they're never unfair. I also appreciate the added enemy variety. the wildlife of SR388 all look and act distinct from one and another, a lucky side effect of the GameBoy not having color.
while in the first game, Samus started as weak and grew powerful, here Samus starts powerful and eventually becomes unstoppable thanks to the reduced damage and new abilities like the space jump, spider ball and spring ball which all make exploration a breeze. there's also the fact that enemies outside of Metroids never really attack you, they just kind of exist and accidentally are in your way, which I really like as a story detail: the only hostile entities on SR388 are the Metroids and Samus herself. the rest are merely living. smarter people have already analyzed the story which you can read if you're interested in, but I like how Samus rescues the one baby Metroid. it humanizes her in an unexpected way.

now, there are a few elements that are transferred over from the first Metroid, mainly the lack of a map, which while not as detrimental this time around due to the improved level design, still means it's easy to get lost. the final boss is also a frustrating damage sponge and an unnecessary difficulty spike, tho it doesn't throw a billion projectiles at you which is a definitive upgrade. you also can't have more than one beam type, meaning I was just using the ice beam for 95% of the game and renders all other beams functionally useless, which is a shame. there's also more energy tanks and beam stations that you can collect which is just a strange move that I don't fully understand.

now for the downgrades. notably, I don't think the screen crunch is too much of a problem here, since the game designers were smart and built the game around it. you're never unfairly attacked by enemies you couldn't see coming, and it's not disorienting. it replicates the feeling of exploring a dark, uncharted planet. I would've liked a bit more screen space but it's not the end of the world.
no, my biggest problem with Metroid II is that for 90% of the game, there's no music, and I don't know why! the music that is present is very good, and I know they could've made oppressing ambiant tracks because the original game had songs like that. here however, you're accompanied by silence most of the time which is a shame.
there's also no color at all, which just makes the environment feel very repetitive and more confusing than necessary. the game is also shorter and more linear, which means you don't really get to use your abilities to their full extent, rendering them kind of superfluous which is never something you want. the game is also very repetitive, since it follows the exact same formula with no real surprise.

overall though, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by Metroid II! I consider it an improvement over the first game, with most of its flaws coming from the inherent limitations of it being a GameBoy game. this makes me very excited to see what Super Metroid is capable of, especially considering everything I've heard about it.

buckle up, this is a long one

Devil May Cry 2 is the worst game I've played. it is absolutely abysmal, disgustingly awful, a vile experience unlike anything I've suffered through. a fucking travesty of a AAA game. I thought I was prepared but nope, it's exactly as bad as everyone said it was.
fighting feels like absolute shit, it's sluggish and unresponsive, plus the combo system is just dumb and unintuitive. the game looks drab and ugly in the absolute worst way possible, I'd say way worse than the first game. there's no story or stakes, you're just wondering around with no clue why you're doing any of the things you're doing. DMC 1's story, while minimalist, clearly established everything within the first few minutes, and you get reminded of why you're on Mallet Island with the bosses. speaking of bosses, DMC 2 might have the worst boss fights I've seen in a AAA video game, straight up garbage tier fights. the game is piss easy, with the only difficulty coming from some bosses who don't telegraph their attack properly and the stupid amount of end lag your attacks and practically useless dodge roll have. the enemies pose absolutely no threat, with some of them straight up not having any attacks, and they do a negligible amount of damage if they do hit you. I don't think I need to explain why the guns are a problem, it's the most well known thing about DMC 2. Dante and Lucia have no personality, and I'm pretty sure Dante speaks less in the entirety of the game than he did in the first cutscene of DMC1.
how is Lucia's disc? somehow worse.
well there's every problem Dante has, except her combos are even worse because she hits twice with one button press making it even more confusing when to time your stick inputs. the level design is also terrible, with two awful underwater levels that genuinely might be the worst part of this game, which makes it one of the worst section of any game I've ever sat through. the invisible water fish is the bane of my nightmares. I genuinely cannot remember anything else that happened during my playthrough, and it happened yesterday. DMC 2 is such an enigma of a game
literally the only redeeming factors, are Dante's jacket, the devil trigger designs, Majin Devil Trigger, Lucia looking cool, and the soundtrack. thankfully DMC 2 doesn't have any major glitches or I'd snapped the discs in two.

"The colors feel so right
I've never felt like this
I'll keep on running

Sonic Colors has a uniquely fascinating place in the Sonic franchise. what was once praised as finally being a good Sonic game after a rocky decade is now lambasted as the point of no return for the "Meta era" (whatever that means). in this uniquely divisive franchise, Colors occupies an even more controversial place than other games. but what remains of Colors, over a decade later? well, I think it's pretty good!

the most jarring thing about Sonic Colors is its simplicity. if Mario attempted to be more grand when going to space, Sonic did the opposite, and honestly I think it was needed. only one playable characters, only one play style, just pure Sonic platforming. and it's done quite well imo. not every stage is an absolute banger, but the levels are fun enough without being too or too short. they're imo the perfect length for this game. and the level design in of itself is pretty good, nothing wild but very solid across the board. there aren't any bad levels I would say, and it's strange to say but with 6 acts per zone, they really get their mileage out of every idea without feeling like it's stretching or padding things out. the wisps are all pretty fun to use and they get used in creative and interesting ways. the game is pretty easy but I still felt somewhat challenged, especially when I tried to go for S ranks (which I got a whopping total of 5 across the entire game) or to get the red rings scattered all over the stages. I know not everyone is a fan of Colors' levels but I had a lot of fun with them.

the biggest thing this game gets flagged for, besides the level design is the story, and well... it's a Saturday morning cartoon. it's not great but it's inoffensive. there's nothing outwardly bad, it just feels very childish which I can understand why it'll turn off people, especially after Secret Rings, Unleashed and Black Knight which felt more mature in comparaison (well they're still Sonic games lol it's not like Taxi Driver or something). it's very low stakes and lighthearted, even at the climax, which while it doesn't really work for me, feels also like I'm not the target audience and it's instead going for small children, which I don't mind. you need something for everyone after all. the copyright law line is very out of pocket but I like it. I honestly don't get why everyone is so heated about the story, acting like it ruined Sonic when it's just going for something different. I like the focus on just Sonic and Tails, it's something we haven't had for a long time at that point.

the best thing about the game without a doubt is the presentation. obviously, the music is incredible, which like duh it's Sonic, but it's especially fantastic here. top 5 OSTs in the series without a doubt. but I want to bring particular attention to the graphics and art direction, which is absolutely wonderful. it looks amazing to this day, and it's wild they were able to make this on the Wii while running great, only dipping at certain intensive momentf like when using Frenzy. all of the planets are beautiful, colorful and full of life. honestly one of the best looking Sonic games right after Unleashed for me. it's all absolutely magical and gorgeous, even with the blurry Wii resolution and the fact it's running on basically slightly modified GameCube hardware.

overall, I'd say Sonic Colors is a pretty good game. not much more than that. it came at the perfect time when Sonic needed something more simple and down to Earth (get it? cause they're in space), and while I understand how it's not for everyone, I think people are still unfairly harsh to it. calling Sonic Colors "not ambitious" is both reductive and just not true, because it's obviously trying something new for the series. just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's unambitious. Sonic Colors is good, and I like it.

"I'm gonna reach for the stars
Although they look pretty far
I'm gonna find my own way
And take a chance on today"

"Gordon Freeman, in the flesh, or rather in the Hazard Suit."

god what a fucking game man. still holds up surprisingly well once you get past the graphics hurdle. one of the best examples of gameplay and story meshing together in a fun and interesting way that is unique to video games. there are no cutscenes in this game, you are always fully in control of Gordon, and that is one hell of an achievement even to this day. the heaps of praise Half-Life recieves is 100% deserved.

now obviously, it isn't perfect, especially nowadays. there's the inherant jank present in GoldSrc, tho it can be exploited for fun tricks (see any Half-Life speedrun), there's some redundant weapons and the MP5 and shotgun are a bit too good so you end up using those weapons a lot while negleticing the other weapons. plus some weapons like the snarks and hivehand feel very gimmicky but they're still fun. subtitles are sorely missed, and the game doesn't make it obvious that you should be cautious and really think about your moves during combat because of the Quake-like movement (due to GoldSrc being a modified Quake-engine) and the ability to save scum. I don't mind the platforming usually but some chapters (Residue Processing and Xen) really get on my nerves. Xen (the section not the chapter) in general isn't very fun but it's also not as bad as people made it out to be and I sort of like Interloper. but yea this whole ending segment could really do with an overhaul.

however, all of my complaints pale, they squeal in comparaison to the qualities and innovations Half-Life brought to the table. it is endlessly replayable and always fun. if you tried Half-Life and didn't like it, try again, you owe it to yourself to experience this behemith of a game firsthand. it is the closest gaming's ever gotten to break into mainstream and make people realize the unique experiences video games can offer, and for good reason.

yep still very solid a year later. the free updates add more content which is always welcome, but it's more content that feels like it should've been packaged with the game on release and makes the original ending section look even more unfinished. that being sad, I hope they turn down the difficulty for the next Sonic game because while the base content is baby easy, the Final Horizon is brutally hard. I want a healthy middle ground. and while the new final boss is better and more appropriate than Ikaruga, it's still underwhelming I thought and not really worth the effort. still, it's free and optional so you're not losing much if you go for it. also the new cyberspace stages are completely pointless and you don't need to touch them at all which is fine because my "you NEED to complete everything" brain can't handle its difficulty. so yeah I didn't complete everything for the Final Horizon but like it's whatever I still had fun.