Genuinely, if you're still irony poisoned, or forced to play it (hi,) or an active follower of the franchise, play this one for yourself. No, it's not worth 10 bucks. No, it absolutely does not stand on its own, brush up on (don't play) 4 and 6 first. Yes, this and the past two games should just be one game. These are the leading reasons why I'm not rating it higher, but my god, I did not ever expect that Banban would land more than one conscious hit with its humor, let alone more than I could count on one hand. The quality isn't an up-and-down jumble like 6 was, it's more consistently middling (which is far better than anything that's come before this,) but god is it an absurd adventure at times. I don't even know what to say anymore. You win, Lena. You win.

Garten of Banban 4 is the worst game I’ve played in recent memory. I’ve played worse in the past, but not in a long time, and I think that was clear in my review. I had to be persuaded to continue the funny journey my girlfriend has set me on, and the only reason I did it is because the thumbnail for this one was Bittergiggle, the highlight of the previous game.

This is the best Banban game by far.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s still Banban. They’re still introducing new characters to advance the plot instead of sticking with what they have, the plot itself still blows, the dialogue is crummy, it’s not scary (one of the jumpscares is laughter) and to be perfectly honest, it feels like Bittergiggle’s character completely changed. I mean, I’m fine with what they did, but they still sorta threw him out the window.

Despite all that, plus the shittiness and cash grab of the whole franchise, I actually fucking enjoyed this one. There’s a genuinely liminal quality to it all, and I think that’s in part because of the light source your drone has, and how unfamiliar the whole thing feels. For once, the game making no sense works in its favor, it’s like it was accidentally leaned into. I enjoyed the parts that kept me on my toes, like the spotlight minigame or the last little obstacle course. Which, honestly, I laughed at its reveal. It’s unapologetic in its “lol fuck you” delivery and for once, that lands. The boss blows, and it makes no sense that Banban is there the whole time, but it does feel marginally good to pull it all off. No, you shouldn’t play it, no, I don’t recommend it, yes, there are at least two instances of real bad level design, but I didn’t come out of this one with any real regrets for having played it.

I’m at work and can’t write more so I’ll leave it at this: I’ve already been bought the next game and if they introduce another character in it I’m gonna break his fucking neck

I'm vaguely sure that logging this on my profile will render me unemployable in the future

I, too, arrive at amusement parks by means of carrier pigeon and leave by hot air balloon. Man, what the fuck am I doing with my life?

i leave the lights on, i play during clear weather, i stream the whole thing to my girlfriend with no outages while the tension becomes... okay, well, it's still terrifying in a different way... and in return i DON'T EVEN GET TO HEAR DAVID SZYMANSKI GOING BLAAAARRGRRHGHRH

I live in a world where I have been disappointed by Garten of Banban. I am lost. I am unforgivable.

I hardly know what to say, even, since I enjoyed this way less than the other games. 1 was so bad it was good, 2 had The Cannon Game, 3 honestly had a few things. This game... has one decent voice actor who's overqualified for the job, and some genuinely good parts of the soundtrack. Nothing in the gameplay, nothing in the writing, even with those bars resting soundly in the mantle of the earth.

Front to back, this game is about as boring as a cashier job. There are exactly two neat ideas in this whole game: the setting of the kingdom, and spot the difference. The kingdom itself is fine, i suppose, though I have my reservations with the game's seeming lack of justification for it. This game justifies nothing, actually, just "oh yeah this is here by the way.” It feels like aiming in a black void, which is especially notable here because we're at game 4 now, yet with how little it actually builds on existing facets it feels like it should be the first game. Furthermore, the spot the difference is simply poorly executed. Apparently it can be quite difficult (according to LenaLesbian, citing Nightblade) but for me, it was (1) big things that a bathroom could simply not be without (2) like three very big boxes missing (3) the chairs in the sunroom, twice in a row. Unengaging, and beyond me why they'd give four minutes for it.

So, if not neat ideas, what's left? Well, uh, there's- oh fuck this I don't want to write more about this game. It's dialogue mush with padding presented in the form of stretching the crumbs of plot to the max (contrast with the "just keep throwing stuff" attitude of the last two games, which was much preferred,) it's a poor execution extravaganza, it takes itself seriously the whole time and cracks i think only one joke, it's a fucking waste of time and complaining more is a waste of time. It is as low as a 2/10 can go, only saved by a couple things along the way that kept it simply forgettable rather than outright miserable. I turned 21 years old just yesterday, I'm being asked to come to bed, it's nearly 3AM and I have to be up in seven hours, there's a beautiful life ahead of me and I can't sit here and inundate myself in a mascot horror lore game. It took just one game to get me absolutely sick of this. Let me out. Please do not buy me the next game.

As of writing, MarisaB Normal 1cc (my first of the franchise,) but not before a ReimuB run that ended right as the boss died, which got me the bad ending. Hell. Hell.

This felt like the first game that knew what it was doing, but along the way it loses a bit of charm. SoEW had good music and dialogue that was funny enough. PoDD is batshit insane and resultingly fun due to that chaos. HRtP sucks, but if you go through with a friend, it becomes an unforgettable experience. Though, the stuff that makes this stick out at all is retroactive--people didn't know what Touhou or Bad Apple was prior to release, let alone Marisa Kirisame. No game before this sold more than like, 200 copies. These things make it lovely now but that's by chance, really.

However, not quite by chance, there is at least a solid game underneath. Several steps forward were taken from SoEW's unintelligible graphics, and each of the 4 shot types make a surprising difference in gameplay--more than I was expecting, and more than Double Dealing Character provided me, to be honest. Of course there are some hiccups, like Stage 4, which is simply not fun to play, and the fact that the game's resolution is outright gated from you if you're not on a 1cc run. It did motivate me to play the game more, sure, but I'd rather be motivated by the game being fun enough to warrant a replay on its own merits, like PoDD and DDC and probably a stark majority of the franchise.

In any case, this is very clearly going in the right direction, and going off the franchise's ultimate success, I look forward to the rest.

i get through the whole damn game on my first go and then the results screen proceeds to call me, and i quote, "a failure of a person." bitch who are you talking to. you christmas-colored motherfucker get back here

EDIT: according to this my english patch might not be the most accurate but the game telling you to kill yourself is so much worse??

See I was going to write a piece about how my girlfriend gifted me this game (as with the previous two games,) how much time in her visit has been spent on this franchise, and how laughter brings us all together as humans, but I am so shocked to find an actual game here that I feel like I can't anymore.

Like, really, the Euphoric Brothers have actually made a game here. The first GoB was a quick grab for attention that worked probably way better than they were hoping for, the second game was capitalizing on the attention they got and miserably milking it, but this game has actually had some time in the oven. There's developments in the story that are actually okay this time. There's gameplay—and not just one bout of it—beyond walking and simple puzzles. Puzzles aplenty, sure, but I enjoyed some of them. Hell, there isn't even too much padding. Several steps forward were taken, and that much is worth credit.

...no of course it's not a good game. The re-use of the Cannon Game is shameful and the part that was honestly fun for me last time was substituted with aiming. The boss fight (yeah, actually) just isn't well-made, though you can at least learn fairly easily. Having to spend like 3 minutes re-equipping the kabob guy every time you die is annoying, and on that note, my god are the pancreas jokes excruciating. Heehee, weehoo, memes, get it you guys it's like the original. It's crazy to say that it "takes me out of it" because it's Garten of Banban but it took an almost-tolerable experience and shat on it. It both takes itself seriously and turns itself into a meme, and it doesn't do either thing well.

But at the very least, they're learning a thing or two. I think the plot and writing are beyond saving at this point, but I am legitimately curious as to where the next game will go. I cannot fucking believe I am curious about where Garten of Banban is headed now. Something is deeply wrong with me. I blame Lena.

The original GoB is a 1-star game because it's so bad it starts to become good. An unintended hilarity found within the most desperate of grabs. This sequel, however, is a 1-star game because it just straight-up sucks.

Garten of Banban 2 expands upon the universe of its predecessor, which is precisely the problem. The impression I got from the first game (as much as I didn't want one, and didn't want another, but my girlfriend is a mischievous fiend) was more of a quick addition to the developers' pile of attempts at attention, like the various musings of Dingo Pictures. This time around, they take themselves seriously, trying to capitalize on the interest that'd been garnered. The consequences of this are immediate: no longer is there a bass drop when you put an egg in Opila's mouth. No longer is there an unpredictable Jumbo Joshing. No longer is there anything terrifying outside of what the developers intended, aside perhaps the incredibly loud sound of six lights turning on at once.

There's something to be said about the element of soul in wonderfully terrible works. The Room, Angelic 2 The Core, Philosophy Of The World. The sheer confidence that all of these people had is what makes all of them genuinely enjoyable (presumably, I haven't listened to the latter two in full yet.) Within games, I would love to point to Fallalypse Death or Cress, an unholy yet enlightening experience, but the only motivator there was a quick buck. Yet, I'm deeply fond of that game because of how absolutely gut-wrenchingly bad it is, and I have played more shovelware than the grand majority of people. It stands out. The original Garten of Banban doesn't quite compare, but it certainly fits the bill.

This, however, is just cheap shit. The second you start becoming self-aware about your reputation is the second you lose what little charm you had. Nabnab is pathetic. The story isn't worth caring about. Banban's voice acting isn't funny beyond his first appearance. The attempt at a proper ending sucks so bad that I forgot it after going to eat dinner. The Cannon Game is fun, but it's clearly just padding to get playtime over two hours, which this game also fails at. Banbaleena can go to hell. Opila loses his AI from the first game, which made him, admittedly scary, and instead makes a beeline for you, which can go to hell. So much about this is indistinguishable from the wafts and wafts of sewage that line Steam, that would have never caught the attention of anyone had this been the first, because the Euphoric Brothers are just lucky people that haven't yet found their creative expression

The snail is funny, at least.

i spend maybe five minutes out of my room and find out that my girlfriend infected my computer with a virus. on one monitor, a discord chat, unchanged. on the other, garten of banban. ambience eminates from my speakers as i prepare for, perhaps, the most anticipated franchise of this year. then i blinked and it was over

2010

You can skip the 1 minute and 40 second long cutscene in Stage EX by pressing S, holding S until the dialogue box fades, then pressing S again. You're welcome!

I failed to beat Cut Man 11 years ago and have only now come to claim his head. There's tons of charm here, no doubt, but it's dampened by the level and boss design. Fire Man can be spammed at with any weapon, Cut Man is way too hard without rocks, which makes Dr. Wily Stage 2 aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh you've all already heard this shit I'm sure it's not what you want to hear me talk about so I'll use this time to confess to food crimes like dipping gummy bears in ketchup or butter in marinara sauce or adding cookies n cream ice cream to wine and microwaving it

I was late for my dad's 50th birthday party because of this game. Sorry, dad. Love you.