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Favorite Games

Spelunky 2
Spelunky 2
Fallout 3
Fallout 3
Elden Ring
Elden Ring
Bloodborne
Bloodborne
Minecraft
Minecraft

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A person must understand that sometimes a gun is not a gun.

Sometimes a gun is
a rubber ducky
or a frog that shoots bubbles
or the spine of some alien creature
or a banana
or a barrel that shoots fish
or a bullet that shoots guns that shoot bullets
or a fake AK-47 that's actually a noodle (?)
or a demon head
or a shovel
or a boxing glove
or just a gun, actually
or a pea shooter that sucks
or literally the fucking letter 'r' (in lowercase)
or a wood beam (huh?!)
or a baloon gun
or a teapot
or

Isn't it stupid that the least innovative (and arguably worst) of all of the FromSoft SoulsBorne games is a masterclass in game design?

A must play and kind of an accessible entry for the series, as I see it, too.


This review contains spoilers

FromSoftware?!?!?! Jesus Christ.

Here are three things Elden Ring is:

1. It is a flawed game.
In all fairness, it is basically impossible to concoct a game of this scope without some hiccups. However, the particular way in which the flaws sometimes interfere with the gameplay experience here can definitely be a little mind-boggling.
Most of the flaws this time around come from actual bosses or sub bosses and their battle mechanics and overall difficulty, especially in the late stages of the game. From the unhinged decision to make the Royal Revenant this relentless, unfair, and unpleasant regular enemy which seems to only exist to piss players off to the infamous waterfowl dance move, which makes an otherwise remarkable fight against Malenia remarkably unfair, the developers seemingly tried to up the ante for this game by making it unnecessarily extra difficult at times. Elden Ring is not the hardest From Software game by default, although it seems to try really hard to be it at times. As a result, some players might feel thrown off (like I certainly did) when you enter an epic, remarkable boss fight after exploring an impossibly compelling stage only to realize it comes with at least one or two inconvenient and/or unforgiving mechanics or moves.

2. It is a considerably unusual experience.
Inside of the realm of contemporary open world games, Elden Ring isn’t even the black sheep of the family. No, it is actually the alien of the family.
There are so many unconventional decisions related to the workings of this game: No quest logs with tracking and indication of what to do; bizarre and cryptic NPCs, enemies and artifacts that oftentimes only convolute even further your understanding of what’s going on; unexplainable phenomena; seemingly never explained or developed threads in the plot; not more than one or two vague hints on how to solve a puzzle; the very way platforming works; characters that whimsically come and go; so on and so forth. Unless you’re the most obsessive and impressive reader of the in-between-the-lines, a lot (if not most) of what you’re doing in this game will seem unclear in regards to how or why it is even being done to begin with. If presented with this structural design for a game at a pitch, a UBISOFT executive would probably have a heart attack halfway through.
This mysterious, eerie, intriguing, almost ethereal experience of exploring and wandering through such a unique world is… well, absolutely mesmerizing. This is par for the course if you’ve played any other soulsborne FromSoftware title but it causes a very particular impression when executed in an open world. It’s somehow even more effective and rewarding to dive into the many different environments of this game realizing that every one of them is like inhabiting a different puzzling dreamscape with assured memorable surprises at every corner.

3. It is a design tour de force.
This whole topic will feel complementary to the second topic (and vice-versa) but this feels vital to be stated: When it comes to level, enemy and sound design (only to mention a few), FromSoftware is unmatched among the AAA developers. It’s not just the actual graphic or sound quality of the game, but the level of creativity and artistry that’s being shown alongside it.
Taking your very first wide-open look at Leyndell proper is jaw-dropping; fighting your way from the upper branches of the Haligtree to its very root to find what lies within is something of an epic tale; making your way to Siofra River for the first time feels like penetrating an unreachable, mysterious, ghostly fairyland (and whether you’re actually invited or not always seems unclear).
The levels themselves and how you traverse them is so compelling and alluring it almost seems impossible that it has been put together as it is to such an extent and from front to back. Every castle seems to have extra secrets; every dungeon feels creepy and uninviting in its own particular way; towers reveal vertical level design with astounding finesse and larger open environments give you space to explore the mechanics of using your steed in battle or platforming while taking in the impossible beauty of the world.
The examples of impressive aspects could go on and on for many other different features: The gorgeous soundtrack; the enemies and bosses, with their full-of-personality design and often deep moveset; the number of weapons and their respective arts (which can be modified a lot of times); the plethora of incantations and sorceries; the many armor parts to be found; the consumable or useful items and talismans; the NPCs and questlines; the crafting or even the actual many different builds and play styles this game allows for. It’s legitimately mind blowing. This is a level of detail and attention that’s seldom found even within AAA titles.

It’s barely been two years since its release, but (even with the problems mentioned on ‘topic 1’) Elden Ring can easily be regarded as one of the greatest games of all time and an absolute triumph for FromSoftware. This feels like the culmination of the vision and talent shown all the way back in Demon’s Souls and it’s one of the very few games to be released nowadays that’s actually worth exactly or even a bit more than its price tag.
My 170+ hours have been unforgettable and my experience crossing the Lands Between I’ll forever cherish. As of now, I am more than ready to set foot in the Land of Shadow and can hardly wait. Bring it on.