MisterRyan
2001
They really went and published a Mega Man X kaizo rom hack lmaooo
Incompetence and ignorance is often what brings a game down. Mega Man X 6 is a rare case in that malicious design is what brings it down. It is far and away, without question, the meanest game in the whole Mega Man franchise. More than any other game in the series, it demands you to be a skilled and knowledgeable player and still wastes your time. The game, is evil. It’s fun, but it is evil.
What do I mean by evil? The game feels like a prank. You go to Blaze Heatnix’s stage and the first thing you do is fight this annoying Nightmare Snake miniboss. You beat it and then play a bit of the level only to come across yet another Nightmare Snake miniboss. This repeats until you have beaten five of these damn things.
Not to be outdone, Blizzard Wolfang’s falling icy Tetris block segments, the seemingly randomly generated layouts of the randomly selected action rooms in Ground Scaravich’s stage, and the entirety of Metal Shark Player’s stage are all unbelievably annoying and frustrating. To compound on the frustration, every level has a random chance to be affected by the Nightmare Virus, which adds more obstacles/enemies/nuisances. Sometimes feels like the developers are laughing at you for playing it.
I didn’t include Rainy Turtloid’s stage’s acid rain gimmick in that list of grievances, because I don’t think it’s all that bad. I kind of like it, actually. It gives you this sense of urgency and also turns parts of the level into a (very) simple scavenger hunt to get the rain to stop. It’s an interesting novelty for a Mega Man game, especially when compared to five back to back minibosses.
What I don’t like about Rainy Turtloid’s stage is the hidden armor capsule. This capsule gives you a part for the Shadow Armor, a ninja-like set that is by all accounts not very viable, but allows you to walk on spikes. To get to this capsule, you have to get through a narrow passage full of spikes. And it is TRICKY. If you are a pixel off, you’re getting one shotted by the spikes. Some players have found that damage boosting off a nearby enemy is the best way to get across the spikes, but the recommended way is to have completed the other set of armor, the viable Blade Armor, and use its dash to get across. It’s kaizo level stuff no matter what. The hardest spike traversal in the game and it rewards you the ability to not worry about spikes anymore. I’m sure you can see the hypocrisy of the situation here.
The Shadow Armor’s spike walking isn’t even necessary, because arguably the most important spike traversal in the game can be crossed by using one of the special weapons you get from the bosses. The Ice Burst plops a small block in front of you that you can jump on. You can use this block to jump across a large stretch of spikes in Blizzard Wolfang’s secret area so you can save Dante the Reploid dog, who gives you the Jumper parts, which is capital R Required to get through the final stages, if you’re not using Zero (because he can double jump).
Before I get ahead of myself and talk about the endgame too soon, I want to take a moment to talk about the very accurately named Another Route secret areas, which ironically can be used to start the endgame sooner than usual.
The Another Route is a shorter and sometimes trickier version of any of the main stages, where you fight one of the three secret bosses, in order of appearance: the Zero Nightmare, the nearly invincible High Max, and Dynamo from X5, here to start some trouble again. Beating Dynamo gives you points towards your rank, beating the Zero Nightmare unlocks Zero as a playable character, and painstakingly whittling High Max’s health to zero awards you with the ability to go to the final stages.
You could, in theory, begin the endgame without seeing a single boss Maverick. I don’t know why you would want to do that, because those stages are just about the most evil the game gets. Even if you pick Zero and skip the need to get the Jumper parts, the final rematch with High Max is an ordeal WITH his weakness.
I’ve been complaining a lot about Mega Man X 6 but I want to reiterate that it feels good in the hands, one of the most important things a Mega Man game can do. Dashing and jumping around any level feels good, I just wish those levels were better made.
There’s a discussion to be had about half assed level design paired with a strong list of verbs to play around with in those levels feeling good and the growing usage of machine learning to replace creatives, but this review is already too long.
A good list of verbs really does go a long way though, because despite my griping about Mega Man X 6, I’ve beaten it like four times. This was of course when I was a little bit older and could grapple with the hatred this game eminates, though.
I do not recommend Mega Man X 6. It’s too cruel. But I still respect it for choosing to be such a bastard of a game.
Incompetence and ignorance is often what brings a game down. Mega Man X 6 is a rare case in that malicious design is what brings it down. It is far and away, without question, the meanest game in the whole Mega Man franchise. More than any other game in the series, it demands you to be a skilled and knowledgeable player and still wastes your time. The game, is evil. It’s fun, but it is evil.
What do I mean by evil? The game feels like a prank. You go to Blaze Heatnix’s stage and the first thing you do is fight this annoying Nightmare Snake miniboss. You beat it and then play a bit of the level only to come across yet another Nightmare Snake miniboss. This repeats until you have beaten five of these damn things.
Not to be outdone, Blizzard Wolfang’s falling icy Tetris block segments, the seemingly randomly generated layouts of the randomly selected action rooms in Ground Scaravich’s stage, and the entirety of Metal Shark Player’s stage are all unbelievably annoying and frustrating. To compound on the frustration, every level has a random chance to be affected by the Nightmare Virus, which adds more obstacles/enemies/nuisances. Sometimes feels like the developers are laughing at you for playing it.
I didn’t include Rainy Turtloid’s stage’s acid rain gimmick in that list of grievances, because I don’t think it’s all that bad. I kind of like it, actually. It gives you this sense of urgency and also turns parts of the level into a (very) simple scavenger hunt to get the rain to stop. It’s an interesting novelty for a Mega Man game, especially when compared to five back to back minibosses.
What I don’t like about Rainy Turtloid’s stage is the hidden armor capsule. This capsule gives you a part for the Shadow Armor, a ninja-like set that is by all accounts not very viable, but allows you to walk on spikes. To get to this capsule, you have to get through a narrow passage full of spikes. And it is TRICKY. If you are a pixel off, you’re getting one shotted by the spikes. Some players have found that damage boosting off a nearby enemy is the best way to get across the spikes, but the recommended way is to have completed the other set of armor, the viable Blade Armor, and use its dash to get across. It’s kaizo level stuff no matter what. The hardest spike traversal in the game and it rewards you the ability to not worry about spikes anymore. I’m sure you can see the hypocrisy of the situation here.
The Shadow Armor’s spike walking isn’t even necessary, because arguably the most important spike traversal in the game can be crossed by using one of the special weapons you get from the bosses. The Ice Burst plops a small block in front of you that you can jump on. You can use this block to jump across a large stretch of spikes in Blizzard Wolfang’s secret area so you can save Dante the Reploid dog, who gives you the Jumper parts, which is capital R Required to get through the final stages, if you’re not using Zero (because he can double jump).
Before I get ahead of myself and talk about the endgame too soon, I want to take a moment to talk about the very accurately named Another Route secret areas, which ironically can be used to start the endgame sooner than usual.
The Another Route is a shorter and sometimes trickier version of any of the main stages, where you fight one of the three secret bosses, in order of appearance: the Zero Nightmare, the nearly invincible High Max, and Dynamo from X5, here to start some trouble again. Beating Dynamo gives you points towards your rank, beating the Zero Nightmare unlocks Zero as a playable character, and painstakingly whittling High Max’s health to zero awards you with the ability to go to the final stages.
You could, in theory, begin the endgame without seeing a single boss Maverick. I don’t know why you would want to do that, because those stages are just about the most evil the game gets. Even if you pick Zero and skip the need to get the Jumper parts, the final rematch with High Max is an ordeal WITH his weakness.
I’ve been complaining a lot about Mega Man X 6 but I want to reiterate that it feels good in the hands, one of the most important things a Mega Man game can do. Dashing and jumping around any level feels good, I just wish those levels were better made.
There’s a discussion to be had about half assed level design paired with a strong list of verbs to play around with in those levels feeling good and the growing usage of machine learning to replace creatives, but this review is already too long.
A good list of verbs really does go a long way though, because despite my griping about Mega Man X 6, I’ve beaten it like four times. This was of course when I was a little bit older and could grapple with the hatred this game eminates, though.
I do not recommend Mega Man X 6. It’s too cruel. But I still respect it for choosing to be such a bastard of a game.
2000
If you squeeze this lemon hard enough, you will find the razor blades within it.
In the scope of a single playthrough, 2000’s Mega Man X 5 is a Fine game. It’s Fine. It doesn’t live up to the game that came right before it (and it definitely doesn’t live up to the first Mega Man X), but it is Fine. It’s playable and feels decent in the hands and there’s some good music, and there’s things to collect and you can switch between X and Zero whenever you want, it’s Fine. These are all things that would entice me if I read them on the back of the game’s box. It’s Fine.
Something interesting (or irritating) about the game is the “time limit” it gives you. In the story, there’s a space colony that’s about to collide with the earth, and the world’s only hope is a massive cannon that hasn’t been used in years. You have 16 in-game “hours” to make the upgrade the Enigma Cannon and increase its chances of destroying the space colony. Four of the eight bosses in the game have those upgrades, and an “hour” will pass when you leave Maverick Hunter HQ and return from the level, so you have to be deliberate with where you go. The other four Mavericks have parts to upgrade a space shuttle to collide with the colony in the event the cannon fails. Actually, I should take back what I said, not all of the bosses are technically Mavericks. They just have the item and X or Zero asks nicely for it and a lot of the time the boss challenges them to a fight because it’ll be fun, or it’s the way the world works. It’s a funny way to wedge conflict into the situation, but it makes X especially look all to eager to get in a fight, when if you have played any other Mega Man X game, you’d know he wants the fighting to end. Regardless, the time limit is a novelty that I personally find interesting.
The mild character assassination of X could be due to a lot of things, but a lot of fingers point to the localization team. It happened with Mega Man 7, why not Mega Man X 5? I won’t spend too much time complaining about it though, because I feel like there’s too many unsavory people using bad localization as fuel for their grifts, and they might see this and think I’m a mark or something. All I’ll say is if my girlfriend changed the names of a bunch of video game characters to names of the members of my favorite band, and it shipped nationwide, I’d make sure her feet never touched the ground lmao. What a flex. Need me a freak like that.
But anyway.
So you beat the game, and it was Fine, but you only beat it as one of the two playable characters. So you start a new file and now things are different. Instead of a portion of the colony being destroyed, the Enigma Cannon only grazes it. And then the space shuttle does minimal damage, the space colony crashes into Earth and Zero becomes a Maverick. Now you can no longer play as him. Hopefully this wasn’t your playthrough where you invested hearts and upgrades into him.
Despite how it feels to me, Mega Man X 5 only has three endings. A good ending for X and Zero (assuming everything went well and Zero did not go Maverick) and a bad ending for X (assuming Zero went Maverick). The amount of variables in the middle of the game makes it feel like it’s twice as big and involved as it really is. The cannon could fail but the shuttle succeeds, and vice versa. It becomes intimidating and annoying.
Well, if you just play it once it isn’t so bad. It’s a regular Mega Man X game with a slight twist. It’s Fine.
But you might be like me and you like Mega Man X. As simple as they are, you care about the characters and want to know the few lines of text that happens to them. And in order to do that, you have to play the game at least three times. And playing this game three times is where the pain sets in.
The Pain in question:
-Volt Kraken’s stage is excessively long and can kill you in the first few seconds if you blink at the wrong time.
-Tidal Whale’s autoscroller stage takes forever, and lining up the Goo Shaver shot to get the Falcon Armor body program is really tedious and one mistake could have you resetting, to prevent using up an hour of in-game time.
-You have to beat Tidal Whale and come back again to use Goo Shaver to get the Falcon Armor body program, which uses up an extra hour of in-game time.
-It’s called Goo Shaver.
-The Falcon Armor doesn’t charge Special Weapons.
-The Gaea Armor doesn’t even let you use Special Weapons.
-The Gaea Armor is terrible.
-There are life upgrades that can only be gotten with the useless Gaea Armor, which means Zero can’t get those upgrades.
-Shadow Devil is a stupefyingly hard challenge out of no where and then the game does not match that difficulty anywhere afterwards.
-The final boss alludes to Dr. Wily from the Classic series still being alive, but the game provides no concrete proof of this.
I know this pain all too well, because in order to get every medal in the Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2, I had to play this game countless times. I forgot how many times I’ve beaten it. I just remember how painful and annoying the game can be. I remember the razor blades in the lemon.
I don’t think you should play Mega Man X 5, but as one in a series that depressingly, gradually gets worse, it’s not the worst one in the bunch. A Mega Man X fan should play this the one time and then look up the other endings online. Save yourself the trouble.
In the scope of a single playthrough, 2000’s Mega Man X 5 is a Fine game. It’s Fine. It doesn’t live up to the game that came right before it (and it definitely doesn’t live up to the first Mega Man X), but it is Fine. It’s playable and feels decent in the hands and there’s some good music, and there’s things to collect and you can switch between X and Zero whenever you want, it’s Fine. These are all things that would entice me if I read them on the back of the game’s box. It’s Fine.
Something interesting (or irritating) about the game is the “time limit” it gives you. In the story, there’s a space colony that’s about to collide with the earth, and the world’s only hope is a massive cannon that hasn’t been used in years. You have 16 in-game “hours” to make the upgrade the Enigma Cannon and increase its chances of destroying the space colony. Four of the eight bosses in the game have those upgrades, and an “hour” will pass when you leave Maverick Hunter HQ and return from the level, so you have to be deliberate with where you go. The other four Mavericks have parts to upgrade a space shuttle to collide with the colony in the event the cannon fails. Actually, I should take back what I said, not all of the bosses are technically Mavericks. They just have the item and X or Zero asks nicely for it and a lot of the time the boss challenges them to a fight because it’ll be fun, or it’s the way the world works. It’s a funny way to wedge conflict into the situation, but it makes X especially look all to eager to get in a fight, when if you have played any other Mega Man X game, you’d know he wants the fighting to end. Regardless, the time limit is a novelty that I personally find interesting.
The mild character assassination of X could be due to a lot of things, but a lot of fingers point to the localization team. It happened with Mega Man 7, why not Mega Man X 5? I won’t spend too much time complaining about it though, because I feel like there’s too many unsavory people using bad localization as fuel for their grifts, and they might see this and think I’m a mark or something. All I’ll say is if my girlfriend changed the names of a bunch of video game characters to names of the members of my favorite band, and it shipped nationwide, I’d make sure her feet never touched the ground lmao. What a flex. Need me a freak like that.
But anyway.
So you beat the game, and it was Fine, but you only beat it as one of the two playable characters. So you start a new file and now things are different. Instead of a portion of the colony being destroyed, the Enigma Cannon only grazes it. And then the space shuttle does minimal damage, the space colony crashes into Earth and Zero becomes a Maverick. Now you can no longer play as him. Hopefully this wasn’t your playthrough where you invested hearts and upgrades into him.
Despite how it feels to me, Mega Man X 5 only has three endings. A good ending for X and Zero (assuming everything went well and Zero did not go Maverick) and a bad ending for X (assuming Zero went Maverick). The amount of variables in the middle of the game makes it feel like it’s twice as big and involved as it really is. The cannon could fail but the shuttle succeeds, and vice versa. It becomes intimidating and annoying.
Well, if you just play it once it isn’t so bad. It’s a regular Mega Man X game with a slight twist. It’s Fine.
But you might be like me and you like Mega Man X. As simple as they are, you care about the characters and want to know the few lines of text that happens to them. And in order to do that, you have to play the game at least three times. And playing this game three times is where the pain sets in.
The Pain in question:
-Volt Kraken’s stage is excessively long and can kill you in the first few seconds if you blink at the wrong time.
-Tidal Whale’s autoscroller stage takes forever, and lining up the Goo Shaver shot to get the Falcon Armor body program is really tedious and one mistake could have you resetting, to prevent using up an hour of in-game time.
-You have to beat Tidal Whale and come back again to use Goo Shaver to get the Falcon Armor body program, which uses up an extra hour of in-game time.
-It’s called Goo Shaver.
-The Falcon Armor doesn’t charge Special Weapons.
-The Gaea Armor doesn’t even let you use Special Weapons.
-The Gaea Armor is terrible.
-There are life upgrades that can only be gotten with the useless Gaea Armor, which means Zero can’t get those upgrades.
-Shadow Devil is a stupefyingly hard challenge out of no where and then the game does not match that difficulty anywhere afterwards.
-The final boss alludes to Dr. Wily from the Classic series still being alive, but the game provides no concrete proof of this.
I know this pain all too well, because in order to get every medal in the Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2, I had to play this game countless times. I forgot how many times I’ve beaten it. I just remember how painful and annoying the game can be. I remember the razor blades in the lemon.
I don’t think you should play Mega Man X 5, but as one in a series that depressingly, gradually gets worse, it’s not the worst one in the bunch. A Mega Man X fan should play this the one time and then look up the other endings online. Save yourself the trouble.
1997
The last great Mega Man X game.
Much like the game itself, this review will be in two parts. I usually keep these reviews to just gameplay and presentation, as I feel the story speaks for itself, or in many cases, the story is so minimal that the narrative is actually what happens to the player and it could become more of a memoir than my thoughts on the game itself (fun to write though!). Regardless, in this case I feel like the story (or lack thereof) warrants some discussion.
As a video game, 1997’s Mega Man X 4 is nearly unmatched. X1 is definitely the more pure experience but it’s very close for me. It’s one of my all time favorites. It’s incredible in the hands; dash jumping through a level has never felt better. Its presentation is sublime; the spritework is lovely, and perfectly suits the setting. The levels are beautifully rendered, the characters have this delightful shine to them, every special effect and buster blast looks just Anime enough to match the game’s animated cutscenes. When you dash, you leave an afterimage trail of your silhouette. It’s very very cool.
The music is an excellent graduation from the original 16 bit tracks. A comfortable blend of guitar rock and synth techno, it has the Mega Man X vibe you would expect, if a little subdued and relaxed at times. The songs aren’t all catchy bangers but they’re pleasant enough. Slash Beast, Magma Dragoon, Jet Stingray, and Final Weapon are some pretty great themes though. Final Weapon definitely has that dire urgency while still sounding great. These songs have never left my mind and I will be able to hum along to them after years of not hearing them again, as though I am the Mega Manchurian Candidate.
Playing as X, you’re given about what you would expect from a Mega Man X game. The levels are simple and split into two parts and each part follows a loose theme, either through gameplay or setting. Playing on a system that allows for quick loading times makes the two part level layout almost unnoticeable in something like Magma Dragoon’s stage though. The first half of Cyber Peacock’s stage testing your quickness and rewarding you for getting through the level under a certain time to get an S rank really stands out in this series, and I like it a lot. You’re rewarded with the most broken item in the game if you’re a good enough player, but if you’re that good you might not need it.
The collectible armor parts add a new level of utility for X, especially the hover boots (which also give you an air dash), but nothing beats the previously alluded to helmet from Cyber Peacock’s stage giving you infinite special weapon energy. It feels like cheating but at the same time it’s also kind of unnecessary.
In a rare decision across the expanded Mega Man franchise at that point in time, Mega Man X 4 resets your weapon ammo whenever you die. This means that the endgame boss fights aren’t a war of attrition, but focus more on execution (this of course excludes rationing out your sub tanks). This makes unlimited ammo somewhat unnecessary as, technically, you already have unlimited ammo. This also makes the Weapon Tank unnecessary too, as you have no reason to refill ammo that hasn’t been spent.
The only situation I’ve considered where the W Tank makes sense, is the very particular situation where you’re doing an armorless (or just helmetless) playthrough and you’re at the final boss, who is weak to Soul Body: a weapon with only 8 shots. You’ll need to get 8 more Soul Body shots to finish the job somehow, right? I’m glad the option is there, though playing the game as intended and getting everything causes some redundancy.
If you ask me, the helmet should have just doubled your ammo count. Nice and simple. The W Tank would still be useless though I guess.
Anyway, X is a good and indulgent time. His voice clips are grating and annoying in English but we live in a world where you can easily play the Japanese version, which is a lot more pleasant and fitting.
It’s interesting to me that Zero’s inclusion in this game as a playable character is also pleasant and fitting because by all accounts he shouldn’t. Zero is a square peg that fits in this round hole. His mode is definitely harder than X’s, but I’m not sure if I can say it’s a capital H Hard Mode. It’s Weird Mode.
Zero doesn’t get armor upgrades, and he doesn’t get special weapons from the Mavericks like X does. Instead, he gets movement upgrades like a double jump, and also simple button input combo moves like a flaming uppercut sword slash. He only gets four elemental moves (three if you’re counting the useful ones), the rest are all passive upgrades. Because of this, the bosses share weaknesses in ways that don’t totally line up with what they’re weak to in X mode.
Magma Dragoon is weak to X’s wind based Double Cyclone and you can imagine it cooling his body, but he’s also weak to Zero’s lightning based Raijingeki, for some reason. Fire guys being weak to lightning will be a running theme with Zero in future games, and I couldn’t tell you why, but this game sets that precedent.
Since Zero gets his double jump and air dash and Z Saber upgrade from the Mavericks, and there’s no armor upgrades for him to pick up, the spots where the armor capsules are hidden for X are barren. Save for an extra life in Cyber Peacock’s stage, there’s no reason to look around, and it can be a bit confusing on a first time playthrough. Just put an extra life in all the capsule locations, simple as that.
Regardless, Zero mode is a good, if strange time. And it’s a good thing it’s a good time, because as much as this is X’s game, it’s Zero’s story.
As a story, Mega Man X 4 is a bit of a mess. The plot is important enough to the developers that they paid animators and voice actors to help tell it. It’s important enough that every boss fight is predicated with a few lines of dialogue to give these Mavericks some personality and even motivation. And yet, it’s not quite enough to really nail it. And I’m not necessarily talking about how unintentionally funny the cutscenes are in English.
SPOILERS FOR AN ANCIENT GAME BEYOND THIS POINT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I wasn’t initially going to go in enough depth to need a spoiler warning but it’ll be a lot easier than if I was being vague, oh well.
While X’s story is a springboard for detached musings on what it means for a group of artificial people wrongfully accused of breaking the laws of robotics, Zero’s story is a crisis of self, and the downfall of a loving family plagued by stubborn pride; brought down by hubris and love at the hands of a trusted friend who is fulfilling his bloody destiny he does not want.
It’s more personal, but at the same time, not personal enough. Zero and his friend? Lover? Coworker? Iris aren’t given enough time together enjoying each other’s company for the infamous What Am I Fighting For? scene to be dramatically effective, rather than funny. Zero has more cutscenes than X already, but maybe just one more of Zero and Iris having a tender moment or something. Some lines of dialogue. Anything.
The death? murder? manslaughter? (Robotslaughter?) of Iris and her brother Colonel at the hands of Zero, who was only following orders (lmao), is not only meaningful for Zero’s outward relationship but also his inward relationship with himself. The game begins with the ancient android Zero not dreaming of electric sheep, but his shadowy creator, who Mega Man fans will know as Dr. Wily from the Classic series. This shadow tells him his destiny is to “destroy his nemesis” (in this case being the original Mega Man but I guess any Mega Man will do) This is further compounded by a flashback to a hundred years after his creation, of Zero’s first encounter with reploids. We see the robot gore of his brutal slaughter of an entire unit of Maverick Hunters. We watch him gleefully try to rip then-Maverick Hunter Commander Sigma’s head off. He was built to be a monster. And now, here we are, having a blast “retiring” Mavericks bad fighting our friends. You want to think that Zero is resisting his destiny by not fighting X, but is he really?
We can’t place all the blame on Zero though, the reploid army Repliforce is run by brainless idiots who only care about pride and honor and won’t take five minutes to clear their names of a terrorist attack. I think on paper, a group of reploids are well within their rights to leave a society that will baselessly accuse them of a crime they didn’t commit, but I wouldn’t want to live in whatever nation Repliforce created.
There are much, much better stories that ponder the humanity of an artificial person and the politics that are brought about in a world with artificial people, but Mega Man X 4 is technically one of those stories, but first and foremost, it’s a fun game to play.
I’ve beaten Mega Man X 4 so many times that I have lost count. I’ve 100%-ed as both X and Zero, I’ve put in the code for the secret Ultimate Armor for X and Black Zero color swap and done a 100% playthrough with each of them. I attempted to do an armorless X playthrough but got steamrolled by the already pretty tricky final boss. Maybe I’ll come back to it again and do it right.
This game is great and I fully recommend it, with the caveat that you know what you’re getting when you go in. This game’s like a good boyfriend. It’s goofy as hell, but it will treat you right.
Much like the game itself, this review will be in two parts. I usually keep these reviews to just gameplay and presentation, as I feel the story speaks for itself, or in many cases, the story is so minimal that the narrative is actually what happens to the player and it could become more of a memoir than my thoughts on the game itself (fun to write though!). Regardless, in this case I feel like the story (or lack thereof) warrants some discussion.
As a video game, 1997’s Mega Man X 4 is nearly unmatched. X1 is definitely the more pure experience but it’s very close for me. It’s one of my all time favorites. It’s incredible in the hands; dash jumping through a level has never felt better. Its presentation is sublime; the spritework is lovely, and perfectly suits the setting. The levels are beautifully rendered, the characters have this delightful shine to them, every special effect and buster blast looks just Anime enough to match the game’s animated cutscenes. When you dash, you leave an afterimage trail of your silhouette. It’s very very cool.
The music is an excellent graduation from the original 16 bit tracks. A comfortable blend of guitar rock and synth techno, it has the Mega Man X vibe you would expect, if a little subdued and relaxed at times. The songs aren’t all catchy bangers but they’re pleasant enough. Slash Beast, Magma Dragoon, Jet Stingray, and Final Weapon are some pretty great themes though. Final Weapon definitely has that dire urgency while still sounding great. These songs have never left my mind and I will be able to hum along to them after years of not hearing them again, as though I am the Mega Manchurian Candidate.
Playing as X, you’re given about what you would expect from a Mega Man X game. The levels are simple and split into two parts and each part follows a loose theme, either through gameplay or setting. Playing on a system that allows for quick loading times makes the two part level layout almost unnoticeable in something like Magma Dragoon’s stage though. The first half of Cyber Peacock’s stage testing your quickness and rewarding you for getting through the level under a certain time to get an S rank really stands out in this series, and I like it a lot. You’re rewarded with the most broken item in the game if you’re a good enough player, but if you’re that good you might not need it.
The collectible armor parts add a new level of utility for X, especially the hover boots (which also give you an air dash), but nothing beats the previously alluded to helmet from Cyber Peacock’s stage giving you infinite special weapon energy. It feels like cheating but at the same time it’s also kind of unnecessary.
In a rare decision across the expanded Mega Man franchise at that point in time, Mega Man X 4 resets your weapon ammo whenever you die. This means that the endgame boss fights aren’t a war of attrition, but focus more on execution (this of course excludes rationing out your sub tanks). This makes unlimited ammo somewhat unnecessary as, technically, you already have unlimited ammo. This also makes the Weapon Tank unnecessary too, as you have no reason to refill ammo that hasn’t been spent.
The only situation I’ve considered where the W Tank makes sense, is the very particular situation where you’re doing an armorless (or just helmetless) playthrough and you’re at the final boss, who is weak to Soul Body: a weapon with only 8 shots. You’ll need to get 8 more Soul Body shots to finish the job somehow, right? I’m glad the option is there, though playing the game as intended and getting everything causes some redundancy.
If you ask me, the helmet should have just doubled your ammo count. Nice and simple. The W Tank would still be useless though I guess.
Anyway, X is a good and indulgent time. His voice clips are grating and annoying in English but we live in a world where you can easily play the Japanese version, which is a lot more pleasant and fitting.
It’s interesting to me that Zero’s inclusion in this game as a playable character is also pleasant and fitting because by all accounts he shouldn’t. Zero is a square peg that fits in this round hole. His mode is definitely harder than X’s, but I’m not sure if I can say it’s a capital H Hard Mode. It’s Weird Mode.
Zero doesn’t get armor upgrades, and he doesn’t get special weapons from the Mavericks like X does. Instead, he gets movement upgrades like a double jump, and also simple button input combo moves like a flaming uppercut sword slash. He only gets four elemental moves (three if you’re counting the useful ones), the rest are all passive upgrades. Because of this, the bosses share weaknesses in ways that don’t totally line up with what they’re weak to in X mode.
Magma Dragoon is weak to X’s wind based Double Cyclone and you can imagine it cooling his body, but he’s also weak to Zero’s lightning based Raijingeki, for some reason. Fire guys being weak to lightning will be a running theme with Zero in future games, and I couldn’t tell you why, but this game sets that precedent.
Since Zero gets his double jump and air dash and Z Saber upgrade from the Mavericks, and there’s no armor upgrades for him to pick up, the spots where the armor capsules are hidden for X are barren. Save for an extra life in Cyber Peacock’s stage, there’s no reason to look around, and it can be a bit confusing on a first time playthrough. Just put an extra life in all the capsule locations, simple as that.
Regardless, Zero mode is a good, if strange time. And it’s a good thing it’s a good time, because as much as this is X’s game, it’s Zero’s story.
As a story, Mega Man X 4 is a bit of a mess. The plot is important enough to the developers that they paid animators and voice actors to help tell it. It’s important enough that every boss fight is predicated with a few lines of dialogue to give these Mavericks some personality and even motivation. And yet, it’s not quite enough to really nail it. And I’m not necessarily talking about how unintentionally funny the cutscenes are in English.
SPOILERS FOR AN ANCIENT GAME BEYOND THIS POINT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I wasn’t initially going to go in enough depth to need a spoiler warning but it’ll be a lot easier than if I was being vague, oh well.
While X’s story is a springboard for detached musings on what it means for a group of artificial people wrongfully accused of breaking the laws of robotics, Zero’s story is a crisis of self, and the downfall of a loving family plagued by stubborn pride; brought down by hubris and love at the hands of a trusted friend who is fulfilling his bloody destiny he does not want.
It’s more personal, but at the same time, not personal enough. Zero and his friend? Lover? Coworker? Iris aren’t given enough time together enjoying each other’s company for the infamous What Am I Fighting For? scene to be dramatically effective, rather than funny. Zero has more cutscenes than X already, but maybe just one more of Zero and Iris having a tender moment or something. Some lines of dialogue. Anything.
The death? murder? manslaughter? (Robotslaughter?) of Iris and her brother Colonel at the hands of Zero, who was only following orders (lmao), is not only meaningful for Zero’s outward relationship but also his inward relationship with himself. The game begins with the ancient android Zero not dreaming of electric sheep, but his shadowy creator, who Mega Man fans will know as Dr. Wily from the Classic series. This shadow tells him his destiny is to “destroy his nemesis” (in this case being the original Mega Man but I guess any Mega Man will do) This is further compounded by a flashback to a hundred years after his creation, of Zero’s first encounter with reploids. We see the robot gore of his brutal slaughter of an entire unit of Maverick Hunters. We watch him gleefully try to rip then-Maverick Hunter Commander Sigma’s head off. He was built to be a monster. And now, here we are, having a blast “retiring” Mavericks bad fighting our friends. You want to think that Zero is resisting his destiny by not fighting X, but is he really?
We can’t place all the blame on Zero though, the reploid army Repliforce is run by brainless idiots who only care about pride and honor and won’t take five minutes to clear their names of a terrorist attack. I think on paper, a group of reploids are well within their rights to leave a society that will baselessly accuse them of a crime they didn’t commit, but I wouldn’t want to live in whatever nation Repliforce created.
There are much, much better stories that ponder the humanity of an artificial person and the politics that are brought about in a world with artificial people, but Mega Man X 4 is technically one of those stories, but first and foremost, it’s a fun game to play.
I’ve beaten Mega Man X 4 so many times that I have lost count. I’ve 100%-ed as both X and Zero, I’ve put in the code for the secret Ultimate Armor for X and Black Zero color swap and done a 100% playthrough with each of them. I attempted to do an armorless X playthrough but got steamrolled by the already pretty tricky final boss. Maybe I’ll come back to it again and do it right.
This game is great and I fully recommend it, with the caveat that you know what you’re getting when you go in. This game’s like a good boyfriend. It’s goofy as hell, but it will treat you right.
A safe return to form with a real off the wall gimmick.
After the frustrations of 2011’s Skyward Sword on the Wii, you could not hear a discussion on Zelda games without the words “linear” or “hand-holdy” popping up. It would seem that being unable to explore the world of a Zelda game at your own pace is something that can really hurt the experience. The children yearned for adventure.
So two years later, The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds dropped and gave the children what they wanted. It also gave the geezers like me what they wanted too. Everyone was happy.
A sequel to 1991’s A Link to the Past, A Link Between Worlds takes you back to the Hyrule of old with a few new changes. The music and visuals are fresh but don't stray too far from the source material. The soundtrack ironically is one of the more interesting choices, rather than using unique instrumentation, A Link Between Worlds feels more rustic European than anything that's come before. The flutes and strings in the minigame theme especially sound like something straight out of Bilbo Baggin's 111th birthday vibes. Link looks phenomenal in this game. His hair isn't pink though lmao, so as much as we can say it's a nostalgia driven game, they weren't brave enough to be that adherent to the past. But enough about the sights and sounds, let's get to the real meat of the game, what sets it apart from its peers.
A Link Between Worlds allows you to take on whichever dungeon you want, by making the items you usually get in those dungeons available from the start, but only through renting them. If you die, you lose it, and if you have enough money, you can permanently own it. The Item Rental System makes dangerous enemies more threatening and collecting rupees more important than ever. It’s pretty cool.
A flaw in the Item Rental System is the threat of dangerous enemies and the value of rupees disappears once you gather enough cash to permanently own the items. The game is quite generous with rupees and ways to get more rupees, so you’ll be owning those items a few hours in. A few more hours in you’ll have upgraded your items and cleared all the mini games so enemies will be a joke, and the rupees they drop won’t matter.
I’ll tell you something though, the enemies are pretty easy even without permanently owning the items. I recently did a Green Tunic Only, Rented Items Only playthrough and only died once the entire time in the late game challenge tower. The main game couldn’t touch me. But I guess that’s what hero mode is for.
Ah but the item rental isn’t the only gimmick in the game, is it? The Wall Merging mechanic is what was advertised the most before A Link Between Worlds was released. It’s a cute little thing that flattens you up against the wall, but what shouldn’t be ignored is how much it changes the way dungeons are approached from both the developer and player points of view. Instead of just being a string of rooms with puzzles, the very structure of the dungeon can be included with the puzzle. Structures you normally wouldn’t see the back side of can now hide secrets if you wall-crawl around them. You have to pay attention to every wall. I only wish they pushed this further, it’s a really neat gimmick.
The wall merging is also the means to go to the dark world, hilariously named Lorule. A Link Between Worlds treats Lorule less like a cursed evil world and more like a parallel Hyrule that fell on hard times. Instead of the unsettling creature-like npcs from A Link to the Past, Lorule’s inhabitants are (most of the time) color-swapped reflections of Hyrule’s npcs. These reflections can inform things about each other, and make both worlds feel a little richer. Yet another reason why the purple haired anti-Zelda, Princess Hilda, is one of my favorite Zelda characters ever.
I’ve beaten The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds three times and 100%-ed it two of those times. Each time was a blast and I’m probably going to play it many more times. It looks and sounds and plays great, it’s a treat all around. I love it. You should play it.
After the frustrations of 2011’s Skyward Sword on the Wii, you could not hear a discussion on Zelda games without the words “linear” or “hand-holdy” popping up. It would seem that being unable to explore the world of a Zelda game at your own pace is something that can really hurt the experience. The children yearned for adventure.
So two years later, The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds dropped and gave the children what they wanted. It also gave the geezers like me what they wanted too. Everyone was happy.
A sequel to 1991’s A Link to the Past, A Link Between Worlds takes you back to the Hyrule of old with a few new changes. The music and visuals are fresh but don't stray too far from the source material. The soundtrack ironically is one of the more interesting choices, rather than using unique instrumentation, A Link Between Worlds feels more rustic European than anything that's come before. The flutes and strings in the minigame theme especially sound like something straight out of Bilbo Baggin's 111th birthday vibes. Link looks phenomenal in this game. His hair isn't pink though lmao, so as much as we can say it's a nostalgia driven game, they weren't brave enough to be that adherent to the past. But enough about the sights and sounds, let's get to the real meat of the game, what sets it apart from its peers.
A Link Between Worlds allows you to take on whichever dungeon you want, by making the items you usually get in those dungeons available from the start, but only through renting them. If you die, you lose it, and if you have enough money, you can permanently own it. The Item Rental System makes dangerous enemies more threatening and collecting rupees more important than ever. It’s pretty cool.
A flaw in the Item Rental System is the threat of dangerous enemies and the value of rupees disappears once you gather enough cash to permanently own the items. The game is quite generous with rupees and ways to get more rupees, so you’ll be owning those items a few hours in. A few more hours in you’ll have upgraded your items and cleared all the mini games so enemies will be a joke, and the rupees they drop won’t matter.
I’ll tell you something though, the enemies are pretty easy even without permanently owning the items. I recently did a Green Tunic Only, Rented Items Only playthrough and only died once the entire time in the late game challenge tower. The main game couldn’t touch me. But I guess that’s what hero mode is for.
Ah but the item rental isn’t the only gimmick in the game, is it? The Wall Merging mechanic is what was advertised the most before A Link Between Worlds was released. It’s a cute little thing that flattens you up against the wall, but what shouldn’t be ignored is how much it changes the way dungeons are approached from both the developer and player points of view. Instead of just being a string of rooms with puzzles, the very structure of the dungeon can be included with the puzzle. Structures you normally wouldn’t see the back side of can now hide secrets if you wall-crawl around them. You have to pay attention to every wall. I only wish they pushed this further, it’s a really neat gimmick.
The wall merging is also the means to go to the dark world, hilariously named Lorule. A Link Between Worlds treats Lorule less like a cursed evil world and more like a parallel Hyrule that fell on hard times. Instead of the unsettling creature-like npcs from A Link to the Past, Lorule’s inhabitants are (most of the time) color-swapped reflections of Hyrule’s npcs. These reflections can inform things about each other, and make both worlds feel a little richer. Yet another reason why the purple haired anti-Zelda, Princess Hilda, is one of my favorite Zelda characters ever.
I’ve beaten The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds three times and 100%-ed it two of those times. Each time was a blast and I’m probably going to play it many more times. It looks and sounds and plays great, it’s a treat all around. I love it. You should play it.
1995
It puts the X in eXcessive.
In the Mega Man X Official Complete Works artbook, character designer Tatsua Yoshikawa has a quote about his time as Lead Designer for 2005's Mega Man: Maverick Hunter X that goes "One of the younger staff members absolutely loves toys, and I often saw little figurines lining his desk. So every time he submitted a design, I would turn around and ask him, 'If your design were turned into a toy, would you want that toy?' If the particular desin in question wasn't too fun, he'd say, 'Well, no... I guess not.' Of course, my reply to that was always, 'Then come up with a design that people will actually want, please.' (laughs)"
As a toy collecting illustrator, this quote has stuck with me for over a decade. But upon my upteenth replay of Mega Man X 3, it has a different ring to it.
The Mega Man X series, at its core, is all about toys.
To be more specific, Mega Man X is all about taking the classic Mega Man playstyle and giving you new toys to play with. X1 paves the way with the wall climb, chargeable special weapons, and of course, the dash. X2 adds an air dash, a double charged shot, and a full screen super move. X2 even has a level where you ride a futuristic motorcycle, you can vividly imagine putting your X model kit on your Ride Chaser toy.
Not to be outdone, X3 adds:
-the ability to play as Zero (for a little bit)
-an upwards dash
-a BIGGER double charged shot
-4 unique Ride Armor mechs to wreak havoc with
-4 separate armor chips that augment one of your armor part abilities (one at a time)
-a secret armor chip that lets you have all four of the previous chips that makes X gold
-a secret buster upgrade that adds Zero’s devastating Z Saber to your charged shot
Every main level has three toys to find, and it even gives you a checklist of those things so you don’t lose track, pretty nice stuff! But finding those last two secret toys are pretty cryptic and obtuse, but I won’t get into how.
I almost didn’t want to even mention the secret toys because in general I don’t like mentioning secrets in these reviews, but Mega Man X 3 is a game that punishes you for not collecting the toys. It is brutally difficult, and getting the gold armor makes your life only 50% easier. X is very frail in this game, and some of the bosses are relentless. I soloed the Orphan of Kos and I cannot possibly fathom fighting Neon Tiger with just the X-Buster.
Neon Tiger is a great example of X3 being a game that demands you become a collector, because using his weakness resets his ai like most bosses and he becomes ridiculingly easy.
This makes the early game a pretty frustrating affair. You might find yourself playing Mega Man X 3 more like an RPG than expected, playing levels just to look for Sub Tanks and hearts and grinding for health to fill up that Sub Tank just so you can handle a Maverick you don’t have a weakness for. (Just fight Blizzard Buffalo first, save yourself some grinding. Dude’s dumb and easy.)
What makes the early game more frustrating is that since not all Mavericks are created equal, you might be deterred from beating Blast Hornet first and giving yourself an overall easier time throughout the mid-game.
Mega Man X 3 follows in X1’s footsteps by having certain levels interact with one another. You can see this by Gravity Beetle’s stage losing all the crates in the starting room when you beat Blast Hornet. But it goes even further, Blast Hornet's level is a weapon factory, and that factory is supplying arms to all the other Maverick occupied locations. Those stages all have the very annoying Head Gunner Customer enemy. These guys can take and deal a lot of damage early on. However, when you beat Blast Hornet, those red Head Gunner Customers turn into the green Head Gunner Masspro, a weaker variant that’s much easier to deal with. The Head Gunner Customers come back for the endgame, but if you work hard enough and get Blast Hornet down first, half of your experience will be a slightly easier time.
What a strange way of doing things. Usually games get harder as they go along, and this one certainly does, but it has the opportunity to get easier halfway through, because the game is aware of its setting and commits to that space. It's very interesting and commendable but it makes a whole lotta sense why this gimmick doesn't show up again in the later games.
It's hard to not 100% Mega Man X 3. So when I've beaten it, it's a 100% completion. Ironically, I've beaten Mega Man X 3 three times. Once on 2006's Mega Man X Collection for the GameCube, and twice on 2018's Mega Man X Legacy Collection for the Switch. If you can, PLAY THE PLAYSTATION VERSION OF THIS GAME. Do whatever you can to play that version, the GameCube collection has it so go for that one. The Switch has the SNES version and the SNES version of Mega Man X3 is terribly hampered by its weaker sound capabilities. It's trying to play music that it cannot and it suffers for it. I don't even remember if there's any other major gameplay differences, the music is so discordant in the SNES version that frame delay and resolution mean nothing to me.
I recommend the PSX version of Mega Man X 3 to anyone who is willing to rise to the challenge, or anyone who doesn't like rising to challenges but likes collecting toys.
In the Mega Man X Official Complete Works artbook, character designer Tatsua Yoshikawa has a quote about his time as Lead Designer for 2005's Mega Man: Maverick Hunter X that goes "One of the younger staff members absolutely loves toys, and I often saw little figurines lining his desk. So every time he submitted a design, I would turn around and ask him, 'If your design were turned into a toy, would you want that toy?' If the particular desin in question wasn't too fun, he'd say, 'Well, no... I guess not.' Of course, my reply to that was always, 'Then come up with a design that people will actually want, please.' (laughs)"
As a toy collecting illustrator, this quote has stuck with me for over a decade. But upon my upteenth replay of Mega Man X 3, it has a different ring to it.
The Mega Man X series, at its core, is all about toys.
To be more specific, Mega Man X is all about taking the classic Mega Man playstyle and giving you new toys to play with. X1 paves the way with the wall climb, chargeable special weapons, and of course, the dash. X2 adds an air dash, a double charged shot, and a full screen super move. X2 even has a level where you ride a futuristic motorcycle, you can vividly imagine putting your X model kit on your Ride Chaser toy.
Not to be outdone, X3 adds:
-the ability to play as Zero (for a little bit)
-an upwards dash
-a BIGGER double charged shot
-4 unique Ride Armor mechs to wreak havoc with
-4 separate armor chips that augment one of your armor part abilities (one at a time)
-a secret armor chip that lets you have all four of the previous chips that makes X gold
-a secret buster upgrade that adds Zero’s devastating Z Saber to your charged shot
Every main level has three toys to find, and it even gives you a checklist of those things so you don’t lose track, pretty nice stuff! But finding those last two secret toys are pretty cryptic and obtuse, but I won’t get into how.
I almost didn’t want to even mention the secret toys because in general I don’t like mentioning secrets in these reviews, but Mega Man X 3 is a game that punishes you for not collecting the toys. It is brutally difficult, and getting the gold armor makes your life only 50% easier. X is very frail in this game, and some of the bosses are relentless. I soloed the Orphan of Kos and I cannot possibly fathom fighting Neon Tiger with just the X-Buster.
Neon Tiger is a great example of X3 being a game that demands you become a collector, because using his weakness resets his ai like most bosses and he becomes ridiculingly easy.
This makes the early game a pretty frustrating affair. You might find yourself playing Mega Man X 3 more like an RPG than expected, playing levels just to look for Sub Tanks and hearts and grinding for health to fill up that Sub Tank just so you can handle a Maverick you don’t have a weakness for. (Just fight Blizzard Buffalo first, save yourself some grinding. Dude’s dumb and easy.)
What makes the early game more frustrating is that since not all Mavericks are created equal, you might be deterred from beating Blast Hornet first and giving yourself an overall easier time throughout the mid-game.
Mega Man X 3 follows in X1’s footsteps by having certain levels interact with one another. You can see this by Gravity Beetle’s stage losing all the crates in the starting room when you beat Blast Hornet. But it goes even further, Blast Hornet's level is a weapon factory, and that factory is supplying arms to all the other Maverick occupied locations. Those stages all have the very annoying Head Gunner Customer enemy. These guys can take and deal a lot of damage early on. However, when you beat Blast Hornet, those red Head Gunner Customers turn into the green Head Gunner Masspro, a weaker variant that’s much easier to deal with. The Head Gunner Customers come back for the endgame, but if you work hard enough and get Blast Hornet down first, half of your experience will be a slightly easier time.
What a strange way of doing things. Usually games get harder as they go along, and this one certainly does, but it has the opportunity to get easier halfway through, because the game is aware of its setting and commits to that space. It's very interesting and commendable but it makes a whole lotta sense why this gimmick doesn't show up again in the later games.
It's hard to not 100% Mega Man X 3. So when I've beaten it, it's a 100% completion. Ironically, I've beaten Mega Man X 3 three times. Once on 2006's Mega Man X Collection for the GameCube, and twice on 2018's Mega Man X Legacy Collection for the Switch. If you can, PLAY THE PLAYSTATION VERSION OF THIS GAME. Do whatever you can to play that version, the GameCube collection has it so go for that one. The Switch has the SNES version and the SNES version of Mega Man X3 is terribly hampered by its weaker sound capabilities. It's trying to play music that it cannot and it suffers for it. I don't even remember if there's any other major gameplay differences, the music is so discordant in the SNES version that frame delay and resolution mean nothing to me.
I recommend the PSX version of Mega Man X 3 to anyone who is willing to rise to the challenge, or anyone who doesn't like rising to challenges but likes collecting toys.
1994
More of the same, and the same is the best around.
1994’s Mega Man X 2 is a fine game. The character designs, music, and settings all live up to the standard that 1993’s Mega Man X pushed the limits to set.
X2 pushes things further by adding new armor parts abilities and three roaming bosses to defeat in exchange for story-related items that slightly changes how the endgame goes. If you don’t beat them, you’re out of luck, so the game demands some pretty slick gameplay.
Unfortunately, you might find that gameplay a little less than slick. Finding the buster parts to upgrade your charged shot gives you a double shot that ignores i-frames and melts through bosses without resetting their ai (this makes Wheel Gator’s fight a breeze compared to using his weakness). The Double Shot is very cool and X does a cool punch animation when he fires the blasts. However, you can’t dash while his charge shot is going, it forces you to stand still. The most iconic thing about the Mega Man X series and X2 denies us constant usage of it. Such a shame.
This doesn’t ruin the game by any means, I’ve played and beaten it multiple times with only a smirk of frustration out of it. It’s just that after X1, my standards are staggeringly high.
Mega Man X 2 is a great time and you should play it just to hear Bubble Crab’s theme.
1994’s Mega Man X 2 is a fine game. The character designs, music, and settings all live up to the standard that 1993’s Mega Man X pushed the limits to set.
X2 pushes things further by adding new armor parts abilities and three roaming bosses to defeat in exchange for story-related items that slightly changes how the endgame goes. If you don’t beat them, you’re out of luck, so the game demands some pretty slick gameplay.
Unfortunately, you might find that gameplay a little less than slick. Finding the buster parts to upgrade your charged shot gives you a double shot that ignores i-frames and melts through bosses without resetting their ai (this makes Wheel Gator’s fight a breeze compared to using his weakness). The Double Shot is very cool and X does a cool punch animation when he fires the blasts. However, you can’t dash while his charge shot is going, it forces you to stand still. The most iconic thing about the Mega Man X series and X2 denies us constant usage of it. Such a shame.
This doesn’t ruin the game by any means, I’ve played and beaten it multiple times with only a smirk of frustration out of it. It’s just that after X1, my standards are staggeringly high.
Mega Man X 2 is a great time and you should play it just to hear Bubble Crab’s theme.
There is a 30% chance that this game is enjoyable, but that percentage can be increased to 90% if the conditions are just right.
This review will be on the HD remake of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, but it will also encompass my experience with the original Wii version I played over a decade ago. My feelings about the one cannot be present without my feelings about the other.
I’m pretty sure 2011’s The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is the first game I ever preordered with my own money (I still have the golden Wii remote that was packaged with it). A high school friend of mine and I would talk at exhaustive lengths about what we thought was going to happen in the game based off of the teaser art that was revealed featuring a swordless Twilight Princess-y looking Link standing back to back with a Wind Waker-y Great Fairy looking girl. The 3DS remake of Ocarina of Time had official art of Skyward Sword’s Link hidden throughout the world, which only further amplified my already bristling anticipation. Besides the previously mentioned remake of an already perfect game, Zelda had put out a few duds. It was time for a return to form. It was time for something with no strings attached. It was time for the classic Zelda experience.
And then I got the game.
Let it be known that there were some things I liked about Skyward Sword. Fi’s design, everything about Zelda herself, and of course Groose, stand out the most. The music is great as always and I like Kina the Pumpkin girl.
But those controls, man. For a game putting into practice what the Wii Motion Plus controller was capable of, it sure is a shame it never fully did exactly what I wanted to. It felt more like I was playing some carnival attraction.
I do not like them, Sam I Am.
Skyward Sword was kind of the last straw for me for a little while. In my petulant teenage eyes, The Legend of Zelda was no longer the proud sibling series to Mario, it was now the stupid gimmick series where they find new ways to play a game to justify their underpowered toyetic consoles to the world.
This opinion would of course change, but I still felt that way for a good few years. And regardless of which Zelda games came out afterwards, Skyward Sword was always my least favorite.
And then even more years passed. The game that was made to commemorate The Legend of Zelda’s 25th anniversary was ten years old. And to commemorate that, Nintendo released a high definition remake of the game, with the ability for buttons only controls.
Buttons only controls! I had to write it again just to feel the pleasure of putting it into words once more.
I got Skyward Sword HD at basically half price, and more than ever that feels like a steal. Buttons only mode elevates this game far, far above the original. It feels like I’m playing a video game! Every clumsy and misaligned action that Link could do before is now streamlined and precise. And they even give you the option to go back to motion controls and remind yourself how dire the situation was.
No longer is Skyward Sword a good Zelda game that is held back by how you interact with the world, it’s just a Zelda game now. And Buttons Only Mode actually makes that initial idea of intense sword combat Nintendo’s been chasing since Zelda 2 interesting to play! Sure, a lot of the combat has that shooting gallery feeling from the original where the enemy runs up to you and waits to be killed, but later on you fight more aggressive enemies that punish a missed input. And now that you have an interface that doesn’t miss an input half the time, it becomes an enjoyable challenge!
The world map is still small but without the Wii Motion Plus mosquito buzzing in my ear, I was able to understand that its constant reuse of the main three areas was a means of adding depth and richness to each of them, rather than laziness. I’d still like a snow area though. Or a beach area. Or both.
Skyward Sword HD taught me how to love again, and I, at the very least, really like Skyward Sword.
The ending is still kind of dumb. Spoiler alert for a 10 year old game but it retroactively makes my man Ganondorf feel less special. That’s some dumb shit.
I’ve played and 100%-ed The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword twice, once on each version, and I only recommend the second version. Button Only Mode is truly a game changer. Now, hopefully you will be as lucky as me and get this game for 20 bucks, but in the event that you won’t or haven’t, I still think it’s worth the marked retail price. It’s a good game with an endearing story with loveable characters, and now, interesting controls.
Fi is less annoying in the remake too.
This review will be on the HD remake of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, but it will also encompass my experience with the original Wii version I played over a decade ago. My feelings about the one cannot be present without my feelings about the other.
I’m pretty sure 2011’s The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is the first game I ever preordered with my own money (I still have the golden Wii remote that was packaged with it). A high school friend of mine and I would talk at exhaustive lengths about what we thought was going to happen in the game based off of the teaser art that was revealed featuring a swordless Twilight Princess-y looking Link standing back to back with a Wind Waker-y Great Fairy looking girl. The 3DS remake of Ocarina of Time had official art of Skyward Sword’s Link hidden throughout the world, which only further amplified my already bristling anticipation. Besides the previously mentioned remake of an already perfect game, Zelda had put out a few duds. It was time for a return to form. It was time for something with no strings attached. It was time for the classic Zelda experience.
And then I got the game.
Let it be known that there were some things I liked about Skyward Sword. Fi’s design, everything about Zelda herself, and of course Groose, stand out the most. The music is great as always and I like Kina the Pumpkin girl.
But those controls, man. For a game putting into practice what the Wii Motion Plus controller was capable of, it sure is a shame it never fully did exactly what I wanted to. It felt more like I was playing some carnival attraction.
I do not like them, Sam I Am.
Skyward Sword was kind of the last straw for me for a little while. In my petulant teenage eyes, The Legend of Zelda was no longer the proud sibling series to Mario, it was now the stupid gimmick series where they find new ways to play a game to justify their underpowered toyetic consoles to the world.
This opinion would of course change, but I still felt that way for a good few years. And regardless of which Zelda games came out afterwards, Skyward Sword was always my least favorite.
And then even more years passed. The game that was made to commemorate The Legend of Zelda’s 25th anniversary was ten years old. And to commemorate that, Nintendo released a high definition remake of the game, with the ability for buttons only controls.
Buttons only controls! I had to write it again just to feel the pleasure of putting it into words once more.
I got Skyward Sword HD at basically half price, and more than ever that feels like a steal. Buttons only mode elevates this game far, far above the original. It feels like I’m playing a video game! Every clumsy and misaligned action that Link could do before is now streamlined and precise. And they even give you the option to go back to motion controls and remind yourself how dire the situation was.
No longer is Skyward Sword a good Zelda game that is held back by how you interact with the world, it’s just a Zelda game now. And Buttons Only Mode actually makes that initial idea of intense sword combat Nintendo’s been chasing since Zelda 2 interesting to play! Sure, a lot of the combat has that shooting gallery feeling from the original where the enemy runs up to you and waits to be killed, but later on you fight more aggressive enemies that punish a missed input. And now that you have an interface that doesn’t miss an input half the time, it becomes an enjoyable challenge!
The world map is still small but without the Wii Motion Plus mosquito buzzing in my ear, I was able to understand that its constant reuse of the main three areas was a means of adding depth and richness to each of them, rather than laziness. I’d still like a snow area though. Or a beach area. Or both.
Skyward Sword HD taught me how to love again, and I, at the very least, really like Skyward Sword.
The ending is still kind of dumb. Spoiler alert for a 10 year old game but it retroactively makes my man Ganondorf feel less special. That’s some dumb shit.
I’ve played and 100%-ed The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword twice, once on each version, and I only recommend the second version. Button Only Mode is truly a game changer. Now, hopefully you will be as lucky as me and get this game for 20 bucks, but in the event that you won’t or haven’t, I still think it’s worth the marked retail price. It’s a good game with an endearing story with loveable characters, and now, interesting controls.
Fi is less annoying in the remake too.
1993
i've written a review of this game already and it was silly and hyperbolic but nonetheless, how i felt. i will delete that first one as i will go more in depth here in this second review.
This really is the perfect video game.
It’s astonishing how intense of an evolutionary step 1993’s Mega Man X is in the Mega Man series timeline. Just the ability to cycle through your special weapons with the shoulder buttons would have been enough to be a game changer, but then Mega Man X adds the ability to climb walls, to charge up those special weapons for a unique super attack, and above all else, to perform a momentum-carrying dash.
And that’s not even counting the brilliant level design, and how some of the stages are intertwined. The effects of this is limited to three stages, but beating one stage can alter another, allowing you to explore further and find more goodies. Aside from the immediate upgrade you might find, this connectivity between a fraction of the stages really adds to the sense of Place the game has. Throw in a world map on the stage select screen and you really are saving a capital W World.
In this world, every character design and silhouette is stellar and iconic. Zero and Vile and Storm Eagle and of course, X himself, are some of the coolest designs around. It is Classic Mega Man, but more "hard core", with just the right amount of excess. If anything, it separates the Mega Man style from Astro Boy just enough to have more of its own identity, and I'm thankful for that.
Beyond the visuals, every sound, every song, is a serenade for the ears. Once again, Storm Eagle takes a W for having such a good theme, but Boomer Kuwanger and Sigma 2 and the Cast Roll themes are all certified bangers. The sound of X charging his buster is one of my favorite sounds of all time. That violent harmonizing that hums before crescendo of a blast of energy has to sound pleasant if you’re going to be holding down the shoot button the whole time you’re going through a level.
They COOKED.
I have lost count of the number of times I've played and beaten Mega Man X. I've 100%ed it multiple times. I've done a humble speed run of it. I've done a Buster Only run. I've done a no-dash run. I've wrung every drop of novelty i could out of this game and yet it is still a fantastic time, every time. It feels good in the hands, it sounds good in the ears and it looks great in the eyes. Play this game. That's not a recommendation lmao it's a demand.
This really is the perfect video game.
It’s astonishing how intense of an evolutionary step 1993’s Mega Man X is in the Mega Man series timeline. Just the ability to cycle through your special weapons with the shoulder buttons would have been enough to be a game changer, but then Mega Man X adds the ability to climb walls, to charge up those special weapons for a unique super attack, and above all else, to perform a momentum-carrying dash.
And that’s not even counting the brilliant level design, and how some of the stages are intertwined. The effects of this is limited to three stages, but beating one stage can alter another, allowing you to explore further and find more goodies. Aside from the immediate upgrade you might find, this connectivity between a fraction of the stages really adds to the sense of Place the game has. Throw in a world map on the stage select screen and you really are saving a capital W World.
In this world, every character design and silhouette is stellar and iconic. Zero and Vile and Storm Eagle and of course, X himself, are some of the coolest designs around. It is Classic Mega Man, but more "hard core", with just the right amount of excess. If anything, it separates the Mega Man style from Astro Boy just enough to have more of its own identity, and I'm thankful for that.
Beyond the visuals, every sound, every song, is a serenade for the ears. Once again, Storm Eagle takes a W for having such a good theme, but Boomer Kuwanger and Sigma 2 and the Cast Roll themes are all certified bangers. The sound of X charging his buster is one of my favorite sounds of all time. That violent harmonizing that hums before crescendo of a blast of energy has to sound pleasant if you’re going to be holding down the shoot button the whole time you’re going through a level.
They COOKED.
I have lost count of the number of times I've played and beaten Mega Man X. I've 100%ed it multiple times. I've done a humble speed run of it. I've done a Buster Only run. I've done a no-dash run. I've wrung every drop of novelty i could out of this game and yet it is still a fantastic time, every time. It feels good in the hands, it sounds good in the ears and it looks great in the eyes. Play this game. That's not a recommendation lmao it's a demand.
2018
Expectations can grow very high if they’re given enough time to themselves, and eight years is a very long time.
After the halcyon days of the NES, and the X series’ golden era of the SNES and PS1, the Mega Man franchise has had a hard life. I’ve lost count of the canceled projects that were to star my beautiful Blue Bomber. Even the Archie-produced Mega Man comic got canned. Nothing was safe. Being a Mega Man enjoyer then (and still now) meant dealing with constant disappointment. Why do you think Mega Man being in Super Smash Bros. was such a big deal? Why do you think Mighty No. 9 got the funding it did?
That last paragraph was written because I need you to understand that any problem I may have with Mega Man 11 is minuscule compared to the sheer amount of gratitude I have towards fate for allowing this game to be made at all.
This may be cynical to say considering how at the time of writing this, Capcom has been on a serious roll with no signs of stopping, but i see the release of a no-nonsense, microtransaction-free Mega Man game in the modern age, as nothing less than a miracle.
Speaking of miracles, I am also very thankful that they chose to make Mega Man 11 so visually distinct. It looks like a great animated cartoon, and the backgrounds are just stellar. The first area of Torch Man’s stage is a particularly beautiful sight to see.
While being beautiful, the levels in this game are equally tricky. I’m a seasoned Mega Man veteran but I had a hard time early on during both of my playthroughs. But maybe that’s because I wasn’t making much use of the game’s new mechanic: The Double Gear System, the Speed Gear in particular. The Power Gear’s good for bosses but slowing down time with the Speed Gear made everything a lot more simple. At a certain point in the game you can take out Sniper Joes without them even noticing you’re there.
Speaking of not noticing things that are there, the music in Mega Man 11 is a shocking disappointment. With decades of games with numerous incredible bangers each, it's such a shame to get a Mega Man game where the level themes feel more like wallpaper in the room than the furniture. The sound mixing in Mega Man 11 is already so obnoxious that you can't hear the tunes as it is, but when you turn the music up, there's no strong identity. Bounce Man has a pretty nice song though. Not catchy enough to remember it by heart, but it's good.
Lackluster music is a small price to pay for another Mega Man game to be made, i suppose.
But that's just it, Mega Man 11 IS just another Mega Man game. Besides the Double Gear System, there's nothing so earthshakingly new that it paves the way for a new future of Mega Man titles. You DO get weapon that's a Mega Man X-style dash that can even be used in the air, which has the potential to be a huge game changer, if you're clever enough. But this isn't really doing anything that the Mega Man franchise hasn't seen before.....
It's just, more Mega Man, and at the end of the day, that's something i'm okay with.
I've beaten Mega Man 11 twice and had a decent time each time.
I recommend it to see Mega Man at its flashiest and most fully featured. There are better games in the series, though.
After the halcyon days of the NES, and the X series’ golden era of the SNES and PS1, the Mega Man franchise has had a hard life. I’ve lost count of the canceled projects that were to star my beautiful Blue Bomber. Even the Archie-produced Mega Man comic got canned. Nothing was safe. Being a Mega Man enjoyer then (and still now) meant dealing with constant disappointment. Why do you think Mega Man being in Super Smash Bros. was such a big deal? Why do you think Mighty No. 9 got the funding it did?
That last paragraph was written because I need you to understand that any problem I may have with Mega Man 11 is minuscule compared to the sheer amount of gratitude I have towards fate for allowing this game to be made at all.
This may be cynical to say considering how at the time of writing this, Capcom has been on a serious roll with no signs of stopping, but i see the release of a no-nonsense, microtransaction-free Mega Man game in the modern age, as nothing less than a miracle.
Speaking of miracles, I am also very thankful that they chose to make Mega Man 11 so visually distinct. It looks like a great animated cartoon, and the backgrounds are just stellar. The first area of Torch Man’s stage is a particularly beautiful sight to see.
While being beautiful, the levels in this game are equally tricky. I’m a seasoned Mega Man veteran but I had a hard time early on during both of my playthroughs. But maybe that’s because I wasn’t making much use of the game’s new mechanic: The Double Gear System, the Speed Gear in particular. The Power Gear’s good for bosses but slowing down time with the Speed Gear made everything a lot more simple. At a certain point in the game you can take out Sniper Joes without them even noticing you’re there.
Speaking of not noticing things that are there, the music in Mega Man 11 is a shocking disappointment. With decades of games with numerous incredible bangers each, it's such a shame to get a Mega Man game where the level themes feel more like wallpaper in the room than the furniture. The sound mixing in Mega Man 11 is already so obnoxious that you can't hear the tunes as it is, but when you turn the music up, there's no strong identity. Bounce Man has a pretty nice song though. Not catchy enough to remember it by heart, but it's good.
Lackluster music is a small price to pay for another Mega Man game to be made, i suppose.
But that's just it, Mega Man 11 IS just another Mega Man game. Besides the Double Gear System, there's nothing so earthshakingly new that it paves the way for a new future of Mega Man titles. You DO get weapon that's a Mega Man X-style dash that can even be used in the air, which has the potential to be a huge game changer, if you're clever enough. But this isn't really doing anything that the Mega Man franchise hasn't seen before.....
It's just, more Mega Man, and at the end of the day, that's something i'm okay with.
I've beaten Mega Man 11 twice and had a decent time each time.
I recommend it to see Mega Man at its flashiest and most fully featured. There are better games in the series, though.
1994
perfect video game. i've missed so many of my son's baseball games because i was busy playing it
2010
The tenth time around, it’s still more of Mega Man, rather than more from Mega Man. I like Mega Man, so that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
If Mega Man 9 was a cautious return to form, then Mega Man 10 is a comfortable product made to capitalize on the positive reception to its careful predecessor. It’s a slightly more enjoyable time, despite including the hang ups I had for the previous one.
There’s less annoying mini bosses eating your attempts on your way to each Robot Master. The new Bolt economy lets the shop be useful earlier on. Bosses have shorter i-frame duration, making Mega Man’s lack of a charge shot not seem so bad.
They still coulda given my man Mega Man that slide and charged shot though. Proto Man coulda been the Hard Mode.
They also coulda given us a real movement-enhancing weapon like the Mega Ball or even the Concrete Shot but all we got is the wall-climbing Wheel Cutter. Its usefulness isn’t in as nearly as many instances as the Concrete Shot or god forbid the Mega Ball.
The Bass DLC is a fun addition that rounds out the character variety, but I feel like his dash could have just been a separate button instead of the down+jump combo we’ve been using for the slide for years now. Bass moves too fast for it to be comfortable to do it with that combo input. Classic Mega Man by and large completely ignores any steps forward that the X series took, but this is one time they should have paid attention to it. Just give Bass a dash button.
I have beaten Mega Man 10 twice and it’s pretty alright. It’s tricky at times, and I would have liked a more unique presentation, but it’s a fun enough experience that Mega Man Enjoyers can snack on.
I like that you can finally swap weapons with the shoulder buttons again : )
If Mega Man 9 was a cautious return to form, then Mega Man 10 is a comfortable product made to capitalize on the positive reception to its careful predecessor. It’s a slightly more enjoyable time, despite including the hang ups I had for the previous one.
There’s less annoying mini bosses eating your attempts on your way to each Robot Master. The new Bolt economy lets the shop be useful earlier on. Bosses have shorter i-frame duration, making Mega Man’s lack of a charge shot not seem so bad.
They still coulda given my man Mega Man that slide and charged shot though. Proto Man coulda been the Hard Mode.
They also coulda given us a real movement-enhancing weapon like the Mega Ball or even the Concrete Shot but all we got is the wall-climbing Wheel Cutter. Its usefulness isn’t in as nearly as many instances as the Concrete Shot or god forbid the Mega Ball.
The Bass DLC is a fun addition that rounds out the character variety, but I feel like his dash could have just been a separate button instead of the down+jump combo we’ve been using for the slide for years now. Bass moves too fast for it to be comfortable to do it with that combo input. Classic Mega Man by and large completely ignores any steps forward that the X series took, but this is one time they should have paid attention to it. Just give Bass a dash button.
I have beaten Mega Man 10 twice and it’s pretty alright. It’s tricky at times, and I would have liked a more unique presentation, but it’s a fun enough experience that Mega Man Enjoyers can snack on.
I like that you can finally swap weapons with the shoulder buttons again : )
The little train that couldn’t quite.
Back when I first played it as a teenager, I hated The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. I said that it was the worst Zelda game ever. I said that the train limits your exploration and riding it around is boring.
And it turns out over a decade later I was still right, but now as a wizened sage, I think I was too harsh on it. Like an ounce. Half a pound of Too Harsh.
Spirit Tracks is not the worst Zelda game. It has a whole lot to like about it, maybe even love. But sadly, it also has so, so much going against it.
I want my thoughts on Spirit Tracks to be positive. But there are three fatal flaws that need to be addressed first. Any enjoyment there is to be had with Spirit Tracks is experienced while fully submerged in these fatal flaws. You can’t ignore them, and neither will this review.
The first fatal flaw is the controls. I will not speak too much on them because I already did that during my thoughts on Phantom Hourglass. It’s Bad. Simple as that. Spirit Tracks controls a little bit better than Phantom Hourglass but not enough to be anything but Bad.
The second fatal flaw, something you will thankfully not encounter much, is the instrument interludes. You know how bad it is if it’s a fatal flaw that you don’t encounter often. It’s a crudely formed simulation of playing a flute under the strictest parameters. You will curse Ocarina of Time for ever popularizing fun instrument microgames in Zelda. My advice is to play each note individually and not slur your notes, but even then that hasn’t worked for me every time. It’s bad.
The final fatal flaw, the actual killing blow, is the nature of the game itself. Going from place to place on the train on the titular Spirit Tracks. It’s not enough that it’s pretty slow getting around, or that the tracks are a convoluted nest of paths that you rigidly chug along, no. You are forced to look at the pleasantly rendered New Hyrule and you are denied fully exploring it. The forests and mountains in the distance are set dressing, not a destination.
There’s a lot of talk about linearity in Zelda these days, but I think the focus of that discussion is that there isn’t an open ended objective a lot of the time (it’s mostly Zelda 1 fans wanting to start any dungeon first, which I understand). Most Zelda games have set destinations, but a wide path leading to that destination, full of things to get distracted by. Spirit Tracks isn’t literally the most linear Zelda game (that title goes to Four Swords Adventures), but the lack of a wide path leading to your destination is painfully apparent. The experience of going from one important place to another is literally On Rails. Your only agency is to stop the train and clumsily catch a bunny if you see one. This is the second game to follow The Wind Waker and it ignores the cornerstone of its gameplay. Embarrassing.
Truly, the worst thing about Spirit Tracks is how good it can be despite all of its flaws. There are things about it that I feel would be nice to revisit. It’s no Wind Waker, but there is fun to be had.
Firstly, let’s get it out of the way, the music is excellent. The “Realm Overworld” and “In the Fields” songs are particularly solid bangers that I will never forget. In a game where the kitchen was mostly closed, it’s a blessing that the composers were still out there Cooking.
Secondly, this is the first and only Zelda game where Princess Zelda herself is your companion. She’s a ghost, but she’s with you all the way. And she’s a fun character to have talking all the time, she has a streak of self-centeredness that makes for some mildly funny interactions. This might just be my expectations being so low they’re subterranean after playing Phantom Hourglass but Zelda is good here. Watching her and Link go from strangers to friends over the course of the game is a genuinely nice thing, and watching them brace themselves for their uncertain future, together, is one of my favorite things. She’s also afraid of rats.
Her fear of rats is mechanically important, because when she possesses the invincible suit of armor enemies, the Phantoms, her hulking form will be left paralyzed with fear if she sees even a single rat. It’s cute, I like it. There’s even a pretty good puzzle involving her in the Phantom armor. You don’t have to write the order in which you have to press a switch, it’s automatically a good puzzle in this game.
The only issue with Phantom Zelda is that controlling her has you tracing a path along the floor, and not just outright moving her around like you do with Link (which is already a clumsy affair). It’s a stumble but I’m willing to accept that they made it this way because they wanted to. Maybe it’s to show off how much effort Zelda has to exert to control the armor. I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt because even though they’re going with a dumb stupid control style I don’t like, they’ve got the hang of it this time around. Now that’s some high praise. There’s at least one thing about the game to support that supremely generous theory.
The Sand Wand (which I accidentally called the Sand Rod in the first draft of this review) is maybe my new favorite Zelda tool. It’s not useful 24/7 but it shines like diamonds when there’s sand around, and hey check it out, it actually has synergy with the touch screen. So many of the other items that got their start with button gameplay in older Zelda games can feel like a square block/round hole situation on the touch screen. The boomerang used to be the most useful item but now that it’s tied to stylus gimmicks, it’s so obtuse and clumsy and slow that i rarely use it. The Sand Wand, being made specifically for stylus gimmicks, just works. You scribble all over the sand and pillars of the stuff emerge in an instant. And the puzzles they craft for the sand rod are genuinely clever, especially the boss for the Sand Temple, Skeldritch. Everything involving the Sand Wand is just the right amount of clever to make me be thankful for it.
Before this essay gets too long I want to praise the stamp stations. It’s a great way to emphasize Exploration in the grand scale (finding new locations on the rails) and then the small scale (finding the sometimes hidden stamp station at those locations). The rewards for collecting stamps are solid and fun, but I’ll be corny and say that sometimes the stamp itself is the reward.
There is sadly not all that much left for me to praise about Spirit Tracks. Byrne is a somewhat interesting and Cool character. I like his design well enough, his big Freddy Krueger hand is neat. Him being the muscle for a Demon opened the doors to the “demon era” of Zelda we’re in where seemingly all the evils of the world have a single origin. But this is a discussion for another game.
I have played Spirit Tracks twice and beaten it only once. Every phase of the final boss is a miserable time so if the game had a crumb of replay value, that brushed it off the table. I have not 100%ed Spirit Tracks and will more than likely never 100% it. I do not respect it enough to give it that much of my precious time.
I cannot in good conscience recommend The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. I now understand and acknowledge the good in it but that good does not outweigh the bad. This game gave me a headache both times I played it and those times were a decade apart. Two of my three favorite things in Spirit Tracks can be experienced with a savvy YouTube search. This game is not for Zelda freaks, it’s for Zelda scholars who play the games academically.
Back when I first played it as a teenager, I hated The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. I said that it was the worst Zelda game ever. I said that the train limits your exploration and riding it around is boring.
And it turns out over a decade later I was still right, but now as a wizened sage, I think I was too harsh on it. Like an ounce. Half a pound of Too Harsh.
Spirit Tracks is not the worst Zelda game. It has a whole lot to like about it, maybe even love. But sadly, it also has so, so much going against it.
I want my thoughts on Spirit Tracks to be positive. But there are three fatal flaws that need to be addressed first. Any enjoyment there is to be had with Spirit Tracks is experienced while fully submerged in these fatal flaws. You can’t ignore them, and neither will this review.
The first fatal flaw is the controls. I will not speak too much on them because I already did that during my thoughts on Phantom Hourglass. It’s Bad. Simple as that. Spirit Tracks controls a little bit better than Phantom Hourglass but not enough to be anything but Bad.
The second fatal flaw, something you will thankfully not encounter much, is the instrument interludes. You know how bad it is if it’s a fatal flaw that you don’t encounter often. It’s a crudely formed simulation of playing a flute under the strictest parameters. You will curse Ocarina of Time for ever popularizing fun instrument microgames in Zelda. My advice is to play each note individually and not slur your notes, but even then that hasn’t worked for me every time. It’s bad.
The final fatal flaw, the actual killing blow, is the nature of the game itself. Going from place to place on the train on the titular Spirit Tracks. It’s not enough that it’s pretty slow getting around, or that the tracks are a convoluted nest of paths that you rigidly chug along, no. You are forced to look at the pleasantly rendered New Hyrule and you are denied fully exploring it. The forests and mountains in the distance are set dressing, not a destination.
There’s a lot of talk about linearity in Zelda these days, but I think the focus of that discussion is that there isn’t an open ended objective a lot of the time (it’s mostly Zelda 1 fans wanting to start any dungeon first, which I understand). Most Zelda games have set destinations, but a wide path leading to that destination, full of things to get distracted by. Spirit Tracks isn’t literally the most linear Zelda game (that title goes to Four Swords Adventures), but the lack of a wide path leading to your destination is painfully apparent. The experience of going from one important place to another is literally On Rails. Your only agency is to stop the train and clumsily catch a bunny if you see one. This is the second game to follow The Wind Waker and it ignores the cornerstone of its gameplay. Embarrassing.
Truly, the worst thing about Spirit Tracks is how good it can be despite all of its flaws. There are things about it that I feel would be nice to revisit. It’s no Wind Waker, but there is fun to be had.
Firstly, let’s get it out of the way, the music is excellent. The “Realm Overworld” and “In the Fields” songs are particularly solid bangers that I will never forget. In a game where the kitchen was mostly closed, it’s a blessing that the composers were still out there Cooking.
Secondly, this is the first and only Zelda game where Princess Zelda herself is your companion. She’s a ghost, but she’s with you all the way. And she’s a fun character to have talking all the time, she has a streak of self-centeredness that makes for some mildly funny interactions. This might just be my expectations being so low they’re subterranean after playing Phantom Hourglass but Zelda is good here. Watching her and Link go from strangers to friends over the course of the game is a genuinely nice thing, and watching them brace themselves for their uncertain future, together, is one of my favorite things. She’s also afraid of rats.
Her fear of rats is mechanically important, because when she possesses the invincible suit of armor enemies, the Phantoms, her hulking form will be left paralyzed with fear if she sees even a single rat. It’s cute, I like it. There’s even a pretty good puzzle involving her in the Phantom armor. You don’t have to write the order in which you have to press a switch, it’s automatically a good puzzle in this game.
The only issue with Phantom Zelda is that controlling her has you tracing a path along the floor, and not just outright moving her around like you do with Link (which is already a clumsy affair). It’s a stumble but I’m willing to accept that they made it this way because they wanted to. Maybe it’s to show off how much effort Zelda has to exert to control the armor. I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt because even though they’re going with a dumb stupid control style I don’t like, they’ve got the hang of it this time around. Now that’s some high praise. There’s at least one thing about the game to support that supremely generous theory.
The Sand Wand (which I accidentally called the Sand Rod in the first draft of this review) is maybe my new favorite Zelda tool. It’s not useful 24/7 but it shines like diamonds when there’s sand around, and hey check it out, it actually has synergy with the touch screen. So many of the other items that got their start with button gameplay in older Zelda games can feel like a square block/round hole situation on the touch screen. The boomerang used to be the most useful item but now that it’s tied to stylus gimmicks, it’s so obtuse and clumsy and slow that i rarely use it. The Sand Wand, being made specifically for stylus gimmicks, just works. You scribble all over the sand and pillars of the stuff emerge in an instant. And the puzzles they craft for the sand rod are genuinely clever, especially the boss for the Sand Temple, Skeldritch. Everything involving the Sand Wand is just the right amount of clever to make me be thankful for it.
Before this essay gets too long I want to praise the stamp stations. It’s a great way to emphasize Exploration in the grand scale (finding new locations on the rails) and then the small scale (finding the sometimes hidden stamp station at those locations). The rewards for collecting stamps are solid and fun, but I’ll be corny and say that sometimes the stamp itself is the reward.
There is sadly not all that much left for me to praise about Spirit Tracks. Byrne is a somewhat interesting and Cool character. I like his design well enough, his big Freddy Krueger hand is neat. Him being the muscle for a Demon opened the doors to the “demon era” of Zelda we’re in where seemingly all the evils of the world have a single origin. But this is a discussion for another game.
I have played Spirit Tracks twice and beaten it only once. Every phase of the final boss is a miserable time so if the game had a crumb of replay value, that brushed it off the table. I have not 100%ed Spirit Tracks and will more than likely never 100% it. I do not respect it enough to give it that much of my precious time.
I cannot in good conscience recommend The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. I now understand and acknowledge the good in it but that good does not outweigh the bad. This game gave me a headache both times I played it and those times were a decade apart. Two of my three favorite things in Spirit Tracks can be experienced with a savvy YouTube search. This game is not for Zelda freaks, it’s for Zelda scholars who play the games academically.
2008
Remember Mega Man 2?
A game too nostalgic for its own good, Mega Man 9 tested the waters to see if anyone was interested in a new Mega Man game after a while. It was also seemingly made for those Mega Man fans who had played so much Mega Man that the previous 8 games were Too Easy. I'm not sure if they wanted people to jump right into 9 as their first Mega Man or they wanted them to go back to the first one, but considering how bare bones this game is, it's a strange approach no matter what.
Mega Man 9, in an attempt to be like only a quarter of its past, removes Mega Man's ability to slide or charge his buster (two things i'm very fond of doing in a Mega Man game). This makes traversal and combat a more pure and challenging experience, but also, potentially, a pretty limited one. Your jumps have to be Perfect.
Your movement is not entirely limited though. While a whole lot more clumsy and scarce than the Mega Ball, the Concrete Shot allows you to scale walls and quickly jump off of frozen enemies, and the game demands you use it in some pretty creative ways. I love the Concrete Shot, i would love to have infinite ammo for it. Speaking of ammo, Magma Man has more health points than you have ammo for Tornado Blow, his weakness. What were they thinking.
I have beaten Mega Man 9 twice and hated it the first time because i was young and dumb. The second time, as a wizened sage, I appreciate it so much more. It's a decent time that rewards a really (emphasis on really) skilled player. There are better Mega Man games out there.
I can really only recommend Mega Man 9 for people who like Mega Man and have played the previous games in the series, and know full well 9 takes all your toys away and still expects you to play.
yes yes, Splash Woman is cute.
A game too nostalgic for its own good, Mega Man 9 tested the waters to see if anyone was interested in a new Mega Man game after a while. It was also seemingly made for those Mega Man fans who had played so much Mega Man that the previous 8 games were Too Easy. I'm not sure if they wanted people to jump right into 9 as their first Mega Man or they wanted them to go back to the first one, but considering how bare bones this game is, it's a strange approach no matter what.
Mega Man 9, in an attempt to be like only a quarter of its past, removes Mega Man's ability to slide or charge his buster (two things i'm very fond of doing in a Mega Man game). This makes traversal and combat a more pure and challenging experience, but also, potentially, a pretty limited one. Your jumps have to be Perfect.
Your movement is not entirely limited though. While a whole lot more clumsy and scarce than the Mega Ball, the Concrete Shot allows you to scale walls and quickly jump off of frozen enemies, and the game demands you use it in some pretty creative ways. I love the Concrete Shot, i would love to have infinite ammo for it. Speaking of ammo, Magma Man has more health points than you have ammo for Tornado Blow, his weakness. What were they thinking.
I have beaten Mega Man 9 twice and hated it the first time because i was young and dumb. The second time, as a wizened sage, I appreciate it so much more. It's a decent time that rewards a really (emphasis on really) skilled player. There are better Mega Man games out there.
I can really only recommend Mega Man 9 for people who like Mega Man and have played the previous games in the series, and know full well 9 takes all your toys away and still expects you to play.
yes yes, Splash Woman is cute.
1996
All Hail The Mega Ball
Mega Man 8 is a game with many faces. And i don't just mean the Playstation/Sega Saturn differences. Mega Man 8, being the first mainline sidescrolling Classic Mega Man game to use voice acting, is one of the funniest and most cringeworthy games of all time ("Doctah Wahwee" is a cornerstone of the western Mega Man fanbase). Mega Man 8, introducing a weapon that drops a platform in front of you to quickly jump off of while you're in the air, is one of the most mechanically deep Classic Mega Man games. Mega Man 8 is a game that follows in its predecessor's footsteps and adds more ability-based puzzles and secrets in each level, emphasizing the adventure that games can bring. Mega Man 8 is a game that sets a new cosmic status quo, which is promptly ignored by the series. It's a game with many faces, and i only find a few of them ugly.
When you're not listening to the lazy, grating, embarrassing, and above all funny voice acting, Mega Man 8 is treating your ears to some of my favorite video game music of all time. Mega Man 8 takes the chiptunes of the classic series and expertly translates that 8-bit style to synthesized techno music. 8's soundtrack is a lot more laid back and subdued compared to its high octane brothers, but i think that just makes it unique. The Stage Select, Tengu Man, Aqua Man, and Wily Tower 1 themes in this game are the best and you should totally listen to them for several hours straight while you draw comic pages, like i have done many times.
Speaking of which, your mileage may vary on this but as a visual person, the backgrounds in Mega Man 8 are supremely inspiring. The rolling verdant hills of Tengu Man's stage, cleaved with city-filled valleys, the flashing metropolis of Frost Man's stage, and the sugarsweet toyland of Clown Man's stage are all beautifully and lovingly rendered and make me want to spend a day there. Tengu Man's especially. I really like Tengu Man's stage.
I have beaten Mega Man 8 three times in my life, despite trying my hardest to get past Wily Tower 1 as a child who hadn't grasped the concept of Being Good at video games just yet.
Mega Man 8 is a fairly easy time with gorgeous anime cutscenes that you might find yourself having to Endure rather than Enjoy. (just find a way to play the Japanese version if you don't want to deal with the voice acting). If you can get over the minor hurdle of annoying and funny voices (or you just skip them), i recommend this game to you. It's an excellent time and i love it. Play Mega Man 8. the Saturn version has some more bosses but the Playstation one is still a fine time.
One more thing, the English voice acting for Roll has her say "Good luck, Mega Man!" in the cutest sweetest voice ever and i hope i can one day get in touch with the voice actress Michelle Gazepis and thank her for doing a line read that has stuck with me my entire life.
Mega Man 8 is a game with many faces. And i don't just mean the Playstation/Sega Saturn differences. Mega Man 8, being the first mainline sidescrolling Classic Mega Man game to use voice acting, is one of the funniest and most cringeworthy games of all time ("Doctah Wahwee" is a cornerstone of the western Mega Man fanbase). Mega Man 8, introducing a weapon that drops a platform in front of you to quickly jump off of while you're in the air, is one of the most mechanically deep Classic Mega Man games. Mega Man 8 is a game that follows in its predecessor's footsteps and adds more ability-based puzzles and secrets in each level, emphasizing the adventure that games can bring. Mega Man 8 is a game that sets a new cosmic status quo, which is promptly ignored by the series. It's a game with many faces, and i only find a few of them ugly.
When you're not listening to the lazy, grating, embarrassing, and above all funny voice acting, Mega Man 8 is treating your ears to some of my favorite video game music of all time. Mega Man 8 takes the chiptunes of the classic series and expertly translates that 8-bit style to synthesized techno music. 8's soundtrack is a lot more laid back and subdued compared to its high octane brothers, but i think that just makes it unique. The Stage Select, Tengu Man, Aqua Man, and Wily Tower 1 themes in this game are the best and you should totally listen to them for several hours straight while you draw comic pages, like i have done many times.
Speaking of which, your mileage may vary on this but as a visual person, the backgrounds in Mega Man 8 are supremely inspiring. The rolling verdant hills of Tengu Man's stage, cleaved with city-filled valleys, the flashing metropolis of Frost Man's stage, and the sugarsweet toyland of Clown Man's stage are all beautifully and lovingly rendered and make me want to spend a day there. Tengu Man's especially. I really like Tengu Man's stage.
I have beaten Mega Man 8 three times in my life, despite trying my hardest to get past Wily Tower 1 as a child who hadn't grasped the concept of Being Good at video games just yet.
Mega Man 8 is a fairly easy time with gorgeous anime cutscenes that you might find yourself having to Endure rather than Enjoy. (just find a way to play the Japanese version if you don't want to deal with the voice acting). If you can get over the minor hurdle of annoying and funny voices (or you just skip them), i recommend this game to you. It's an excellent time and i love it. Play Mega Man 8. the Saturn version has some more bosses but the Playstation one is still a fine time.
One more thing, the English voice acting for Roll has her say "Good luck, Mega Man!" in the cutest sweetest voice ever and i hope i can one day get in touch with the voice actress Michelle Gazepis and thank her for doing a line read that has stuck with me my entire life.
1995
A fun adventure full of secrets that sadly doesn't stick the landing.
Mega Man 7 is an interesting game. i like it. it takes the secrets and upgrades from Mega Man 6 and runs wild with it. Each stage in 7 has a secret in it that you might have to come back for later, and it adds a level of intrigue that was not present in earlier Mega Man games. They might not have needed that intrigue, but i gladly welcome it here.
One of those secrets involves an overarching side quest with Proto Man, that ends in a really cool reward, i'm a big fan of it.
Even though Mega Man 7 doesn't follow the gameplay of the newly started sequel series, Mega Man X, it does heavily emphasize using the Super Adaptor Armor, a very Mega Man X powerup. Sure, don't give Mega Man the dash, but he can absolutely have the double jump. Thankfully, the double jump doesn't break the game like Mega Man 6's Jet Adaptor does.
The music of Mega Man 7 is odd to me. Up until this point, the musical identity of Mega Man was just 8bit chiptunes, so there was nothing specific to bass this identity off of. So Mega Man 7 goes in the interesting direction of being midi semi-orchestral songs. It sounds softer and slower than its predecessors. It's not bad by any means, but especially considering how Mega Man 8 and 11 would take the more Techno-inspired route, Mega Man 7 feels pretty out of place, musically.
The final boss of Mega Man 7 is a really rough time. It's a war of attrition that spits in your face if you get far enough and fail anyway. Unless you play perfectly, in which case i'm proud of you, you will be forced to use a health and/or weapon refill, and then when you die you will not have that refill next time.
I did not beat Mega Man 7 the first time i played it. Thankfully i pulled it off years later, but good lord. Here's a hint for you that i would have loved to know back then: you can mash buttons to get out of the burning animation sooner.
And then you beat the game and, if you're playing in english, you get a cringeworthy character assassination of everyone's favorite little blue guy Mega Man. it just can't stick that landing, man.
I recommend Mega Man 7 to anyone who likes Mega Man and anyone who wants a taste of everything Mega Man has to offer but doesn't want to wade through over 10 games. Consider Mega Man 7 as your second course after 2 or 3.
Mega Man 7 is an interesting game. i like it. it takes the secrets and upgrades from Mega Man 6 and runs wild with it. Each stage in 7 has a secret in it that you might have to come back for later, and it adds a level of intrigue that was not present in earlier Mega Man games. They might not have needed that intrigue, but i gladly welcome it here.
One of those secrets involves an overarching side quest with Proto Man, that ends in a really cool reward, i'm a big fan of it.
Even though Mega Man 7 doesn't follow the gameplay of the newly started sequel series, Mega Man X, it does heavily emphasize using the Super Adaptor Armor, a very Mega Man X powerup. Sure, don't give Mega Man the dash, but he can absolutely have the double jump. Thankfully, the double jump doesn't break the game like Mega Man 6's Jet Adaptor does.
The music of Mega Man 7 is odd to me. Up until this point, the musical identity of Mega Man was just 8bit chiptunes, so there was nothing specific to bass this identity off of. So Mega Man 7 goes in the interesting direction of being midi semi-orchestral songs. It sounds softer and slower than its predecessors. It's not bad by any means, but especially considering how Mega Man 8 and 11 would take the more Techno-inspired route, Mega Man 7 feels pretty out of place, musically.
The final boss of Mega Man 7 is a really rough time. It's a war of attrition that spits in your face if you get far enough and fail anyway. Unless you play perfectly, in which case i'm proud of you, you will be forced to use a health and/or weapon refill, and then when you die you will not have that refill next time.
I did not beat Mega Man 7 the first time i played it. Thankfully i pulled it off years later, but good lord. Here's a hint for you that i would have loved to know back then: you can mash buttons to get out of the burning animation sooner.
And then you beat the game and, if you're playing in english, you get a cringeworthy character assassination of everyone's favorite little blue guy Mega Man. it just can't stick that landing, man.
I recommend Mega Man 7 to anyone who likes Mega Man and anyone who wants a taste of everything Mega Man has to offer but doesn't want to wade through over 10 games. Consider Mega Man 7 as your second course after 2 or 3.