this game is a time machine of 2008 video game newgrounds parodies and gaming culture at large that i honestly greatly appreciate. god talking about beating oblivion and guitar hero spoofs bring me to a simpler time when the simpsons was cute and not a cruel reminder of father time’s iron grasp on our lives and culture, and going through it again was a pleasant romp. play it with a friend that remembers the feeling and enjoy how quaint it is when lisa says shit like “i cant wait for the xbox 720 to come out”

it is with a heavy heart i report that this resident evil game fucking sucks but after the absolute wildfire that was Resident Evil 2 (2019) i cant blame them for trying to follow up on it. this game does the bare minimum to evolve the gameplay and even then what it adds is pointless (the dodge and mashing during grabs that do nothing) and everything else is reduced (Nemesis never appears dynamically despite that being his whole gimmick and RE2 already having AI for it, levels are barely interconnected and instead more linear and with two or three times as many zombies as the previous game, etc.) i hesitate to say this is all the work of “the b team” since thats not how that works but nevertheless, i can understand where the sentiment comes from. a very halfhearted game coming off the heels of one of the best games of all time. jill valentine is so fucking hot though

in many ways this is a true representation of modern spongebob: self indulgent and constantly referential towards “the good stuff” taken from over twenty years old media. it clearly cannot stand on its own two legs without the original show and indeed the original game to lean on either shoulder, stealing jokes from one and direct gameplay and assets from the other without putting forth much effort to create anything itself. what new ideas do exist are half baked at best and buggy at worst, like the karate kick that can either speed up platforming or throw you down an invisible pit despite its fully automated nature. much like the show, again, this game does not understand when to stop with the obnoxiously exaggerated animations or incessantly droll if not purely regurgitated dialogue. i’ll relay to you now what this game took several hours to relay to me: just watch the first three seasons and movie of the show, and replay battle for bikini bottom (the original, not the watered down, over saturated garbage this studio tried to peddle.) tom kenny is so fucking old now