OswaldHurlem
2017
It has gyro aim. How bad can a game be if it has gyro aim?
Incredible graphics, hyper-polished gameplay, headphone mode audio so good you'll swear you are inside an IMAX theatre. Meanwhile the story is like the 4 chapters of Tails Gets Trolled which focus on Tweety Bird's tragic origins.
Primetime TV
1996
weird but good. why not
2019
Before this game came out, nobody knew how to design a space game whose players would, in their 10th or 20th hour of gameplay, continue to crash into the moon periodically.
I played this over a 3 day weekend and my joy with it crescendo'd. I said: neato neato Neato Neato NEATO NEATO!! All the cringe stuff you saw in a Dunkey video? That stuff is actually fun. Picking up objects in Peter's house is FUN. Riding the bicycle is FUN. Finding the old guy with dementia is FUN. By the time you're doing stealth segments as MJ, it's a fever dream of fun. Then the game points a champagne bottle of black goop at you and says "time for some real fun :)"
2017
You should have to reload your gun.
2022
More combat! More story! More goofy Video Game Film School Tricks: a familiar shot of a doorway with a different character. Reuse of an animation you see in one of GoW2018's boss fights... but it's outside of a boss fight! There's even a part where the game prompts you to mash a button using the word "MASH."
2017
LIKED: the moon where you have to drive a scooter up a fire escape. Also the ones where you capture a boddhisatva statue. I also liked the overworld's platforming areas that they complemented.
DIDN'T LIKE: The parts where you go in a pipe or on a rocketship and then you're in this little room with two moons (if you forget there are two moons, Cappy will remind you)... I had just played Breath of the Wild! It came out the same year!
DIDN'T LIKE: The parts where you go in a pipe or on a rocketship and then you're in this little room with two moons (if you forget there are two moons, Cappy will remind you)... I had just played Breath of the Wild! It came out the same year!
2018
Play this on Hard mode and you might be surprisingly pleased by the gentle manner in which it slowly increases the difficulty.
2019
The enemies heads are too spongey, their chokeholds are too survivable, Mr. X is too easy to fool... it's still scary tho
2007
Not as funny as the sequel!! I don't like the zappy orbs!!
2013
Oh, so you're f--kin telling me I gotta f--kin drive a car off this jump in order to f--ck my wife?!!?
2015
Seems like Yakuza is the first case of a video game studio hitting a formula that works nearly every time. Like Stephen King when he got to like his 5th or 7th book. Or Law and Order once Sam Waterson joined it.
I say "seems like" because Dragon Quest achieved this first, but whatever... Yakuza is cooler. You play it and it feels like you're in a world where the Sega Dreamcast outsold the PS2.
This one is also special bc it's a period piece. It's set in the late 80s and is about the late 80s in a way Vice City never could be (bc the late 80s were centered around Tokyo). Sometimes it's a serious story about the corrupting power of money, other times it's like a cheesy movie from, you guessed it, the late 80s.
I say "seems like" because Dragon Quest achieved this first, but whatever... Yakuza is cooler. You play it and it feels like you're in a world where the Sega Dreamcast outsold the PS2.
This one is also special bc it's a period piece. It's set in the late 80s and is about the late 80s in a way Vice City never could be (bc the late 80s were centered around Tokyo). Sometimes it's a serious story about the corrupting power of money, other times it's like a cheesy movie from, you guessed it, the late 80s.
2015
Hurt my ears so I stopped playing! What do you want me to say?? It hurt my ears too much. You know I'm not lying because it hurt your ears too. What should I have done? Should I have turned the volume down? That would have been bullshit. It gets 2 stars because it hurt my ears.