PepperJack235
37 reviews liked by PepperJack235
Final Fantasy XVI
2023
The feel of combat is incredibly polished, the cutscenes are immaculately produced, and the music is suitably emotional or heart-pounding when it needs to be.
As for the narrative... up through the Bahamut fight it's generally good, although not exactly what I was expecting. After that, you spend hours doing tedious crap only tangentially related to the main story, and then it turns into a bad shonen anime and stays that way until the end.
Also, it's a good thing that the combat is so good because it's the only meaningful gameplay system across dozens of hours. Not even a hint of dungeon-crawling with exploration/puzzle-solving, or anything else really.
As for the narrative... up through the Bahamut fight it's generally good, although not exactly what I was expecting. After that, you spend hours doing tedious crap only tangentially related to the main story, and then it turns into a bad shonen anime and stays that way until the end.
Also, it's a good thing that the combat is so good because it's the only meaningful gameplay system across dozens of hours. Not even a hint of dungeon-crawling with exploration/puzzle-solving, or anything else really.
This review contains spoilers
weird to think this game is real and out. kinda struggling right now to write out my thoughts in full, but for now, i will say what i can.
i think this game did a lot of really great things, especially as it pertains to characters. characters i already loved, my appreciation for them deepened immensely and other characters who i didnt really have the same attachment? to in og, ive grown to enjoy a lot more here.
the game is so fucking big, it was almost a little daunting, especially with how the game opens up similarly to OG, with you slowly gaining newer ways to treverse the world, eventually ending with just, being able to get anywhere almost via the tiny bronco, which was cool. furthermore, theres just, so much to do in game. theres so many minigames and whilst i did enjoy most of them, sometimes it felt a bit poorly paced, especially the corel section from costa del sol to gold saucer and sometimes some of them were just, not good. (they ruined the fort condor minigame from the intermission dlc lmao)
the story, i think for the most part, was also done mostly well for the parts that cover the originals plot points, although i do feel some parts are kinda done really poorly and take away elements that gave the originals scenes its strengths (the way the barret and dyne stuff was changed + dunno how to feel how nibelheim was done)
for the remake trilogy stuff? i still dunno whats going on but i do, for the most part think its done Far better here than it was in remake, which was my least favourite thing about it for a lot of things. i did groan when the whispers showed up again, even if i know what theyre doing with them, but other stuff i did enjoy, like the presentation of the zack timeline stuff being sparsely spaced between different moments of the story was really neat, with it too climaxing alongside the main plot.
theres a lot more i could say? but i hate being nitpicky, am bad with words too so i just wouldnt know how to write out said thoughts, but maybe one day.
i think this game did a lot of really great things, especially as it pertains to characters. characters i already loved, my appreciation for them deepened immensely and other characters who i didnt really have the same attachment? to in og, ive grown to enjoy a lot more here.
the game is so fucking big, it was almost a little daunting, especially with how the game opens up similarly to OG, with you slowly gaining newer ways to treverse the world, eventually ending with just, being able to get anywhere almost via the tiny bronco, which was cool. furthermore, theres just, so much to do in game. theres so many minigames and whilst i did enjoy most of them, sometimes it felt a bit poorly paced, especially the corel section from costa del sol to gold saucer and sometimes some of them were just, not good. (they ruined the fort condor minigame from the intermission dlc lmao)
the story, i think for the most part, was also done mostly well for the parts that cover the originals plot points, although i do feel some parts are kinda done really poorly and take away elements that gave the originals scenes its strengths (the way the barret and dyne stuff was changed + dunno how to feel how nibelheim was done)
for the remake trilogy stuff? i still dunno whats going on but i do, for the most part think its done Far better here than it was in remake, which was my least favourite thing about it for a lot of things. i did groan when the whispers showed up again, even if i know what theyre doing with them, but other stuff i did enjoy, like the presentation of the zack timeline stuff being sparsely spaced between different moments of the story was really neat, with it too climaxing alongside the main plot.
theres a lot more i could say? but i hate being nitpicky, am bad with words too so i just wouldnt know how to write out said thoughts, but maybe one day.
Halo 3
2007
Only good when played with precisely 3 people
When Sephiroth said "Do you know the way" and I burst out laughing, I realized I have the internet equivalent of Mako poisoning.
Palworld
2024
Are we so gullible? Do we as an audience not demand anything from our art? There's no story, no new mechanics, no real characters, no interesting or enjoyable visuals, no compelling gameplay, no original ideas at all in fact. Is a faceless strawman to antagonise really enough to get millions of people to play an Unreal Engine asset flip made as artlessly as possible? Is no one else actively disturbed by how blatantly and gracelessly this rips mechanics from every popular game of the last 2 decades, without integrating any of them together whatsoever? Has art ever felt this cynical before?
Feel free to discount my opinion. I am a 'salty Pokemon fanboy' after all, and I only gave this game an hour or so of my not particularly highly valued time. I personally just prefer the art I engage with to care for the art form it sits within, even a little bit. Palworld hates video games. It sees nothing more within them than a collection of things to do and hopes that by shovelling a flaccid farcical version of as many of them as possible into your mouth it will somehow constitute a 'video game' when all is said and done. It doesn't. I'm deeply saddened that so many gamers think so lowly of our art form that they genuinely think this is acceptable.
Feel free to discount my opinion. I am a 'salty Pokemon fanboy' after all, and I only gave this game an hour or so of my not particularly highly valued time. I personally just prefer the art I engage with to care for the art form it sits within, even a little bit. Palworld hates video games. It sees nothing more within them than a collection of things to do and hopes that by shovelling a flaccid farcical version of as many of them as possible into your mouth it will somehow constitute a 'video game' when all is said and done. It doesn't. I'm deeply saddened that so many gamers think so lowly of our art form that they genuinely think this is acceptable.
Slay the Princess
2023
This review contains spoilers
I wanted to like this game really badly, and evidently so did a bunch of my friends since three of them offered to buy it for me. I only came into possession of it because a fourth skipped the asking phase.
Honestly? There are parts of the game I was really sweet on. The art is sublime, especially whenever things take a turn for the eldritch - or gorey. If you like seeing women get maimed as much as I do then a lot of the gore on display is artisanal. The artist clearly sketched some scenes with a reddened face. Though lowkey, the soundtrack is perfect. No notes.
It's just the rest of the game that drove me up the fucking wall.
Other reviews have said it in grander terms, but it really does feel like the writers sitting you down and explaining the concept of Chaos Theory to you. Each 'route' is about 10-15 minutes long, capping off with an Entity throwing concepts at you before going "oops time to reset!". Some of these routes are enjoyable on their own merits, I'm really fond of Thorn because it's my ideal enemies-to-lovers dynamic and also has minimal Narrator dialogue. Adversary is excellent too, in part because it's the only route where this game's dogshit sense of humor actually lands. Her, The Fury and The Grey are stunning too.
Unfortunately, each route without exception is kneecapped by a few things. There's this game's obsession with trying to have meaning, sure, but there's also the sense of humor. It's very, very obviously inspired by The Stanley Parable's narrator but it just doesn't land. A combination of the bad jokes, the terrible audio mixing and the flat voice acting meant that every other line made me groan. The Disco Elysium-esque voice cabinets were equally as miserable.
It, and the wider narrative, just feel very... Juvenile? Throughout the game's relatively brief runtime I got the feeling that the developers just played Nier Automata, Bioshock Infinite, The Stanley Parable and Death Stranding in a weekend. It very much reminds me of the fanfiction I would write when I was younger; Ingredients in a cauldron, but the water isn't hot enough for them to melt and blend together. Slay the Princess is much more obsessed with just 'being a game about Chaos Theory' to the point where it doesn't actually end up being a game about anything.
The ending to this game is cool on paper. The Shifting Mound tries to convince you to go along with her into infinity by pulling out the incarnations of The Princess you've met and throwing your actions back in your face. Except... This doesn't really work if you've went along with her, and indeed you essentially have no choice but to do so if you want the actual ending. It's the same if you've been wishy-washy or actively hostile, but in a game where events often account for your granular decisions it sticks out as being - to be mean, for a second - very half-assed.
I also really have to harp on about the voice acting for a second. I don't expect every game to be Final Fantasy 12, especially not a game made by like two people, but it's so bad it probably made me incredibly uncharitable towards the game. The Princess is uncomfortably flat most of the time, and when she tries to be domineering/seductive/teasing it comes across as someone practicing accents in a mirror. The Narrator and all of the Voices are either Hbomberguy impersonators or Gideon Emery impersonators depending on the route and it gets grating fast. That he often sounds as though he's trying to avoid waking up someone in the next room doesn't help.
Really, the two stars are for the gore. You can fuck that girl UP.
Honestly? There are parts of the game I was really sweet on. The art is sublime, especially whenever things take a turn for the eldritch - or gorey. If you like seeing women get maimed as much as I do then a lot of the gore on display is artisanal. The artist clearly sketched some scenes with a reddened face. Though lowkey, the soundtrack is perfect. No notes.
It's just the rest of the game that drove me up the fucking wall.
Other reviews have said it in grander terms, but it really does feel like the writers sitting you down and explaining the concept of Chaos Theory to you. Each 'route' is about 10-15 minutes long, capping off with an Entity throwing concepts at you before going "oops time to reset!". Some of these routes are enjoyable on their own merits, I'm really fond of Thorn because it's my ideal enemies-to-lovers dynamic and also has minimal Narrator dialogue. Adversary is excellent too, in part because it's the only route where this game's dogshit sense of humor actually lands. Her, The Fury and The Grey are stunning too.
Unfortunately, each route without exception is kneecapped by a few things. There's this game's obsession with trying to have meaning, sure, but there's also the sense of humor. It's very, very obviously inspired by The Stanley Parable's narrator but it just doesn't land. A combination of the bad jokes, the terrible audio mixing and the flat voice acting meant that every other line made me groan. The Disco Elysium-esque voice cabinets were equally as miserable.
It, and the wider narrative, just feel very... Juvenile? Throughout the game's relatively brief runtime I got the feeling that the developers just played Nier Automata, Bioshock Infinite, The Stanley Parable and Death Stranding in a weekend. It very much reminds me of the fanfiction I would write when I was younger; Ingredients in a cauldron, but the water isn't hot enough for them to melt and blend together. Slay the Princess is much more obsessed with just 'being a game about Chaos Theory' to the point where it doesn't actually end up being a game about anything.
The ending to this game is cool on paper. The Shifting Mound tries to convince you to go along with her into infinity by pulling out the incarnations of The Princess you've met and throwing your actions back in your face. Except... This doesn't really work if you've went along with her, and indeed you essentially have no choice but to do so if you want the actual ending. It's the same if you've been wishy-washy or actively hostile, but in a game where events often account for your granular decisions it sticks out as being - to be mean, for a second - very half-assed.
I also really have to harp on about the voice acting for a second. I don't expect every game to be Final Fantasy 12, especially not a game made by like two people, but it's so bad it probably made me incredibly uncharitable towards the game. The Princess is uncomfortably flat most of the time, and when she tries to be domineering/seductive/teasing it comes across as someone practicing accents in a mirror. The Narrator and all of the Voices are either Hbomberguy impersonators or Gideon Emery impersonators depending on the route and it gets grating fast. That he often sounds as though he's trying to avoid waking up someone in the next room doesn't help.
Really, the two stars are for the gore. You can fuck that girl UP.
Spec Ops: The Line
2012
Still filters self-inserters over a decade after release.
This is probably one of my least favorite episodes, but that's not to say its not without tons of merit. There are so many effective, relatable, poignant scenes in this. Its just that once you've sort of figured out where its driving at, it kind of dragged for me. I also want to complain a little bit about the epitaph, because I feel like the epitaph is one of the only things in this story that is against its themes. A lot of Umineko is having faith in the author that the mystery is solvable and if you never give up you should be able to find the truth and understand it. The epitaph is dangled over you like it is solvable, but largely it is not. It is possible but only if you're insane and you are a crack addict, bonus points if you are a native Japanese speaker, though even if you were I don't see how you're supposed to figure out even where to start until it is revealed in this episode. I appreciate how they made it clear in this episode that in the context of the story its mostly meant to be impossible, but the scenes that come before become a lot more frustrating to me, which again is exactly what this game is trying to condemn.
Baldur's Gate 3
2020
I can't wait to reverse my opinion on this and i mean that literally. this game is so well written and i love the characters a lot but i just can't fucking stand DnD rules apparently. rolling bad frequently is just a miserable experience. i can't stand rolling all the way up to 1 HP of an enemy more than a couple times in one session and it's all due to die rolls. i should be able to do things i want to do without relying on a fucking die roll every 5 seconds.
i want to love this game. i love that Larian Studios is putting a genre back on the map that's been absent for god knows how long. I'M GLAD the game is doing well. i just think i hate DnD
i want to love this game. i love that Larian Studios is putting a genre back on the map that's been absent for god knows how long. I'M GLAD the game is doing well. i just think i hate DnD
Final Fantasy XVI
2023
The score is favorable, but the gameplay, bosses, and my love for Clive & Cid really bring it to that alone. It's a Soken soundtrack too, so generally you're getting quality even though XIV still blows it out of the water. It's also beautiful and the PS5 manages to do a decent job staying at 60fps. So much of this rocks and kicks ass and I really think the game is just stellar when my mind doesn't wander to other stuff I dislike about it. The components for one of the best games I've ever played are here, but they are not well organized nor are they well implemented.
The game is filled to the brim with baffling pacing choices, shitty characters (Especially most of the antagonists), and bizarre narrative decisions that either don't see meaningful payoff or just suck. Even for as good as the combat system is (and it is REALLY FUCKING GOOD) it doesn't make up for how easy the game is. I did literally everything on the first playthrough I possibly could and the only time I was genuinely challenged was when I was 15 levels below an S-Rank hunt and even then a few tries got me through it.
This is a strong foundation for future games with this combat engine, but PLEASE do something different next game. I cannot overstate how much I don't want to just dump on the game because at its peak it is a fantastic action rpg with a really enjoyable protagonist, but fuck dude this game sucks when it sucks.
The game is filled to the brim with baffling pacing choices, shitty characters (Especially most of the antagonists), and bizarre narrative decisions that either don't see meaningful payoff or just suck. Even for as good as the combat system is (and it is REALLY FUCKING GOOD) it doesn't make up for how easy the game is. I did literally everything on the first playthrough I possibly could and the only time I was genuinely challenged was when I was 15 levels below an S-Rank hunt and even then a few tries got me through it.
This is a strong foundation for future games with this combat engine, but PLEASE do something different next game. I cannot overstate how much I don't want to just dump on the game because at its peak it is a fantastic action rpg with a really enjoyable protagonist, but fuck dude this game sucks when it sucks.
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