22 Reviews liked by Siev


truly the racing game of all time

if i wanted to piss people off i would say that this is the best game nintendo has ever made, not just because it’s been reliably so much fun with so many different groups over the years, but because the quality of life features are uncharacteristically strong, leaves me wanting for nothing. but i won’t say that because i want people to like me.

This game is so good that it terrifies me.

this game has blown me away, so many fun systemic answers to every fun systemic problem. an immersive sim where you control three characters at once in a synchronized ballet, distracting/killing/body disposing/maneuvering/outsmarting interesting enemies with cool unique heroes. one character is just hitman from hitman and it’s somehow barely in the top three coolest ability sets. a modern stealth classic, reminds me why i love the genre.

think i’ve lost interest until the mod scene truly pops off. i had a good time with this, really appreciated the density of quests and some solid world building. every gameplay system is weak but the sheer amount of them makes the experience solid, i always really like the feeling that im cutting through a tiny personalized portion of a massive thing.

I was offered a PS2. I went into a game shop. I never heard of Onimusha before. It cost me 2€.

When I launched it, I discovered it was made by Capcom. I was really happy to discover so. When I finished it, I read that Onimusha is the 7th most profitable serie of Capcom. I now know why.

Onimusha comes with a great technology. Capcom decided to create an animation team dedicated to CGI cutscenes (which are great). Thus, CGI would only shine if it would show something interessting. Someone sugested a medieval theme. They went for it.

Now, they had a theme, a clear technological goal... how about making a game ?
In 2001, what does Capcom knows to do ? Survival horror. Let's go on this basis. Unfortunately, Capcom's survivals rely on multiple subleties, one of them being ammo managment. Erf, katana do not need ammunitions. Well, let's put a mana system and reorient the game towards combat action. Let's add a light RPG system and everything will work well. They were right. It works well.


Onimusha is situated between old-fashionned-capcom survival horror games and (for its time) new fashionned beat'em all (see DMC). The adventure is situated in really tiny and kind of oppressing spaces, which can lead to some stress inherent to survival horrors. Thus, most of the time, combats shine. This is due to the variety of opponents you fights and the pseudo-rigidness of your character. Should you either slash enough to make 3 enemies temporaly fall down, which would give you the time to end them on the ground or deal with their comrades, either try to focus the most powerful ones with your magic spells, either run through them taking the risk to be attacked, either take your distances and shoot'em with your bow ? It's up to you, and it's wonderful gameplay-wise. Add on top of this interessting and memorable bosses and you have an intense game experience, set up in a non-commonly seen layout, with imbricated systems that lead to multiples genre and game experiences in a unique software.

this is a delightful game. so many arcade minigames, including plenty with surprising depth, was easy to chase my bliss and just do what sounded fun each day. expanding your arcade is a good satisfying long term project, narrative isn’t gonna win any awards but there’s more to it than i expected, it definitely surprised and moved me at times.

favorite games: Woodguy’s Golf, Strike Gold, Pool, Stack Overflow

the world building in this is a 20/10 and that elevates it beyond the imperfections, i’ve never read so many collectible notes and audio logs in a game. combat moves are satisfying and flashy but dying just plain never felt like my fault, and loads/run backs were too long. i eventually checked the Immortal box in the settings and never came close to regretting it. i could still see the health bar drop to zero and every time it happened i said yeah that would’ve been a stupid moment to die. really was annoyed the elements i was loving kept getting interrupted by combat because of it’s a video game, not because it was an impactful or special sequence in any way. just added filler hours. damn that’s probably what all my reviews are gonna be like on here huh.

The shortest (24 level variants before looping occurs) and easiest version of Dig Dug I've ever laid hands on. It plays well and players are given an advantage, as the pump can catch enemies right before they actually emerge from the dirt, making fully avoiding damage a totally doable endeavor. It isn't more fun than other versions, but it's good for making you feel a LOT better at Dig Dug than you may actually be.

I’m a fiend for mojitos
-Det. James “Sonny” Crockett, Miami Vice

The 2000s aesthetic is in full swing here. Tekken 4 is widely considered the first videogame ever to be set in a city¹, but what isn’t commonly known is that it’s also the first game to feature techno music².

Tekken 4’s punch-outs take place in far more grounded settings than its predecessors or successors, such as shopping malls and parking garages. Each one is a stage from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3³ and you can almost feel the hot breeze of a warm summer night, especially if your PlayStation 2 is overheating.

Despite its impeccable vibes, a competitive scene never arose for Tekken 4 due to it being mostly about positive energy and enjoyment⁴. Professional fighting game players rarely discuss anything other than the presence of a senile, diaper clad Heihachi Mishima as the final boss.

Tekken Force Mode returns from Tekken 3.⁵

Playing this in tandem with its 2002 sister fighting game Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance, it’s plain to see which is the better fighting game experience.⁶ The gameplay itself isn’t as balanced as prior or future entries, apparently, but everything else about this game is sleek and fluid. As an aesthetic exercise at the very least, Tekken 4 is wholly unique in its franchise if not its genre.

Tekken 8 would do well to swap out some of its particle-effect-heavy, apocalyptic stages⁷ for a pristine turn-of-the-century airport or a balmy metropolitan rooftop. Kazuya should rock some shades. Man, this game is like Tekken Summer Vacation. Let’s party.

__________
[1] I made this up
[2] Completely fabricated
[3] Pranked!
[4] Conner Wilson, On Tryhards, Penguin, 2024, p. 68
[5] Tekken 4, Namco, 2002
[6] Conman, Tekken 4, Backloggd, 2023, p. 1
[7] This just has to be the case right

We had a lot of fun on the patient gamers discord making and sharing some "kaizo" levels using the level editor which is for now only 2D. That editor is pretty complete for what it is and the physics feel really close to the psx crash games which is all it really needed.
I also played through all of the 3D levels in the current demo and honestly thought they were really good, better than some in the originals with a nice mix of level design from crash 2 and 3, also some pretty cleverly hidden collectibles. The Uka-Uka power up is also a great idea as an addition and feels true to the original games.

As a crash fan this is something that I never thought I wanted but now appreciate so much, I genuinely can't wait for it to get a 3D level editor.
If you're a crash fan you have to try this and talk about it, it needs to be bigger than it is.

Classic time waster before there were such things as fast Internet connections. Good old times. Recently checked my ancient account and I had a Level 51 Necromancer with a goth appearance. No regrets.

what 0 pussy does to a mf

EDIT: I have found out 5 minutes after posting this review that Emperor Xianfeng had 18 consorts, so this is a historically inaccurate version of events. I apologise for this grievous error and will strive for due diligence on fact-checking for future reviews. Sorry for all who were misled, and I will leave this up for posterity.

A trippy yet thought-provoking filled first-person puzzle game that in similar fashion to Portal manages to subvert player perception in its difficulty but leads itself to be beatable by not relying on cheap and cryptic solutions.
As a warning, if you look down, don't be scared... for too long.

The Road to Elden Ring #5: Dark Souls III

So here we are at the end! Didn’t have the time to get around to Sekiro before Elden Ring’s release, but I’d like to talk about it sometime in the future. For now, we end with Dark Souls III, the conclusion to the Souls IP that builds upon the groundwork set by Demon’s Souls, Dark Souls 1 and 2, and Bloodborne. While it’s far from perfect, I think DS3 surpasses its predecessors in more ways than one.

For starters, the combat takes inspiration from Bloodborne. While not as fast-paced and aggressive as that game, it still takes the combat from Demon’s Souls and DS1/2 and speed it up significantly. The game is less plodding and meticulous and instead requires the player to think on their feet and act quickly to aggressive enemies with faster attacks and deeper movepools. The player, while still sped up from previous games, still feels slower than all the new enemies, so the idea of “Dark Souls 1 Knight vs Bloodborne enemies” helps make Lothric feel even deadlier and more dangerous that previous worlds.

Although Dark Souls 3 is a lot more linear than DS1, it has arguably the best level design so far in the series. Similarly to Bloodborne, DS3 has massive zones that feel incredibly rewarding to explore and find hidden treasures. The size of these levels allow From to play around with verticality and put a large amount of varied set pieces across each area. The Cathedral of the Deep has you scaling the rafters of a massive church before you get inside and battle the imprisoned giants. The Catacombs of Carthus have you venturing deeper and deeper into the lair of a skeleton army and features traps and ambushes around every corner. DS3 is probably second only to the original Dark Souls when it comes to incredibly memorable level design.

Another area DS3 shines is its improved NPC questlines. Though side quests given by important NPCs have been a staple of the Souls series since Demon’s Souls, Dark Souls 3 takes these side stories and really fleshes them out. Four NPCs offer fun and engaging side quests that send you to some locations you’d never go otherwise, and tie into the game’s four main bosses in a really satisfying way.

The DLC is also fantastic. Ashes of Ariandel and the Ringed City offer incredibly cool set pieces, new enemy types, new weapons, and a pair of some of the greatest boss fights in the entire franchise. Sister Friede and Slave Knight Gael are a showcase of everything that makes the Souls games so great and special, with Gael himself (and the vanilla game’s final boss, the Soul of Cinder) being the perfect sendoff to the trilogy.

The only negative I really have to say about DS3 is that bits and pieces feel pretty derivative of the past games, which is only natural after five entries. I think too much of DS3 relies on knowing the thing from a previous game, like Aldritch puppeting around Gwnydolin’s corpse from DS1 in the ruins of Anor Londo, or the new hub area just being Firelink Shrine again. In some areas it works, like the beginning of the Ringed City being a mismash of Firelink Shrine from DS1 and Earthen Peak from DS2. Some of these callbacks are fun for veteran players, but I think contributes to Lothric not really feeling like it has its own identity. Demon’s Souls’ Boletaria, Dark Souls’ Lordran, Bloodborne’s Yharnam, and as much as I dislike it, DS2’s Drangleic, all felt distinct and unique from each other. Lothric on the other hand, just feels like we’re back in Lordran again, except for the inexplicit mini-Yharnam in the form of Irithyll.

At its worst, Dark Souls 3 is uninspired and derivative of past Souls games. At its best, Dark Souls 3 is a masterpiece with some of the tightest combat and level design of the series, memorable and lovable NPCs with engaging side stories, and intense, difficult bosses that represent everything that makes the franchise so beloved. An absolute killer final outing.