Soldier4Christ
2023
AI is a topic that will make people poop and pee. To that I say capitalism is the problem and your worries that the powers that be will kill you for not being useful to them anymore as a lil drone suckin penis or whatever you do as a job. That's real.
As far as entertainment goes, AI games like this will be the wave that might catch on. Suck Up! is a great step in that direction as I had fun lying in front of an audience of people who watched me play. I essentially was doing stand-up routines to suck the blood of like 30 NPC's and doing a new schtick every single time. The AI is responsive enough to have clever retorts when it can make sense of what I'm saying no matter how unhinged I was getting. It's cool!
Anyway, if you like lying and being funny, this game is a stepping stone to something potentially great down the line. I love being a vocally antagonistic asshole. By being that, I stress-tested and saw the cracks in the AI almost right away. The meta is apparently offering them cookies but that's no fun. The joy of this game is creatively making total strangers comfortable enough to let you in their house to suck them.
More please.
As far as entertainment goes, AI games like this will be the wave that might catch on. Suck Up! is a great step in that direction as I had fun lying in front of an audience of people who watched me play. I essentially was doing stand-up routines to suck the blood of like 30 NPC's and doing a new schtick every single time. The AI is responsive enough to have clever retorts when it can make sense of what I'm saying no matter how unhinged I was getting. It's cool!
Anyway, if you like lying and being funny, this game is a stepping stone to something potentially great down the line. I love being a vocally antagonistic asshole. By being that, I stress-tested and saw the cracks in the AI almost right away. The meta is apparently offering them cookies but that's no fun. The joy of this game is creatively making total strangers comfortable enough to let you in their house to suck them.
More please.
Playing Palworld reminded of my time with this game. I beat it. I liked it. It was alright. I was just excited they did new things and if it wasn't for the Switch's specs it probably would have been better.
This next one of these Legends games will probably be really cookin'. They really have something here that needs refined to be snappier in it's moment to moment gameplay with mechanics that don't suck, and then Pokemon games are back on top. Competition is getting stiff though. I think with the power of their next device, Nintendo will be able to seal the deal in having world design with more environment detail. I'm sick of looking at fucking mountain terrain.
This next one of these Legends games will probably be really cookin'. They really have something here that needs refined to be snappier in it's moment to moment gameplay with mechanics that don't suck, and then Pokemon games are back on top. Competition is getting stiff though. I think with the power of their next device, Nintendo will be able to seal the deal in having world design with more environment detail. I'm sick of looking at fucking mountain terrain.
This game needed two more years of dev time to be the mediocre experience it was intended to be.
Better than the core game. It unlocks after some progression in the main quest. This expansion will kick your ass if you're minimum level. This game will challenge level 40+ characters from how much shit it throws at you. This is nice because after a certain point your V is untouchable in Night City. Not in fucking Dogtown. You are going to barely survive, which is the overall tone for this expansion.
Dogtown is a fucking SHITHOLE. It's awesome. Everything is more run down and desperate. Think Escape From New York with sprinklings of like Terminator 2 and a fuckton of political intrigue. It is fascinating. I was sucked into this setting way more than Night City. To quote future Microsoft Appointed Emperor of Neo Ohio and Chess Club Captain, God Howard: it just works.
Dogtown is a fucking SHITHOLE. It's awesome. Everything is more run down and desperate. Think Escape From New York with sprinklings of like Terminator 2 and a fuckton of political intrigue. It is fascinating. I was sucked into this setting way more than Night City. To quote future Microsoft Appointed Emperor of Neo Ohio and Chess Club Captain, God Howard: it just works.
2002
This game taught my then child brain that strange concepts can produce the most unforgettable experiences. Even if it's a monkey in a ball being tilted through hell puzzles for bananas. My adult child brain is grateful to be so frustrated and delighted by what this game offers.
The Gamecube version is better than the modern rerelease. The music and aesthetics couldn't be more Y2K millennium-turning with all the processing power going towards the insane water physics that is seemingly there to flex on your eyeballs and distract you from said hell puzzles.
The Gamecube version is better than the modern rerelease. The music and aesthetics couldn't be more Y2K millennium-turning with all the processing power going towards the insane water physics that is seemingly there to flex on your eyeballs and distract you from said hell puzzles.
2001
Playing Animal Crossing with lower resolution textures makes everything more charming. It's so impressive for a Nintendo 64 game.
1995
Let's make bad levels on purpose heehee hoohoohoo hahahahaha heehee hoohoohoo hahahahaha heehee hoohoohoo hahahahaha heehee hoohoohoo hahahahaha heehee hoohoohoo hahahahaha heehee hoohoohoo hahahahaha heehee hoohoohoo hahahahaha heehee hoohoohoo hahahahaha
2023
Now that I have played Sonic Dream Team, I have no doubt in my mind that Sonic Team needs to be deprioritized as the people making Sonic games. Yeah ok people like Frontiers. So happy for you, queen. Play this shit and tell me what you think. Yeah, you see what these devs are cooking? You wish to see more of exactly this? Yeah yeah yeah.
It's got big ass problems from me de facto declaring this the best 3D Sonic game. It's short. It's padded out. I experienced performance hiccups every so often, but maybe that's just the RAM limits of the Apple TV I was playing on. You can also play this on newer Iphones and iPad but you better have a controller.
It's kind of fucked up that one of best playing Sonic games ever made is trapped on Apple Arcade, a service so few people use that only exists for sheer marketshare value of Apple. It's better than most subscription services for games. But, subscriptions for games still sucks. LET ME BUY THIS ELSEWHERE.
Am I Sonic fan? I claim not to be. I'm 31, an age where I shouldn't be really interacting with this kind of stuff lest I get sus looks. That said, Sonic as a franchise is 35 years old and I've been around every marketing push. Sega doesn't make new franchises with a lot of marketing push. They have only really pumped all their money in making this blue fuck relevant -- with feature films, TV shows, memes, half-baked games, etc. I don't even conceive of most of the characters in the sonic franchise beyond their memes. Chili dogs, gotta go fast, all the really shitty games, Ken Penders comics, Ugandan Knuckles, this song that has been stuck in my head for a year.
I can't avoid him even if I wanted to, because I can see the 3D gaming potential of Sonic. It is sad that Sonic Dream Team is a release I didn't even know existed until I was browsing my sister's Apple TV! It ended up being the best official 3D Sonic thing I've played in actual decades! Usually, unless it's a fan game, his games are probably deeply flawed! It's kind not getting that way anymore maybe!?
There are people who are now grandparents out there who were prime demographic youths when OG Sonic dropped. He is like Scooby Doo for Gen X. Sonic went 3D 6 years into his conception and we're just now seeing what potential there is that can be seen and felt; what a truly good 3D game can do beyond having busted or overly linear level design! It's kind of pathetic that we just got here but we are here. Sonic Team wasn't even responsible for making me feel that way. Sonic Team! YOU'RE TOO SLOW.
Sonic Dream Team is good even if you hate this chili-glizzy-guzzling anthro hedgehog. It is my hope for you that a Sonic game will natively run past 30fps without performance issues in your lifetime.
It's got big ass problems from me de facto declaring this the best 3D Sonic game. It's short. It's padded out. I experienced performance hiccups every so often, but maybe that's just the RAM limits of the Apple TV I was playing on. You can also play this on newer Iphones and iPad but you better have a controller.
It's kind of fucked up that one of best playing Sonic games ever made is trapped on Apple Arcade, a service so few people use that only exists for sheer marketshare value of Apple. It's better than most subscription services for games. But, subscriptions for games still sucks. LET ME BUY THIS ELSEWHERE.
Am I Sonic fan? I claim not to be. I'm 31, an age where I shouldn't be really interacting with this kind of stuff lest I get sus looks. That said, Sonic as a franchise is 35 years old and I've been around every marketing push. Sega doesn't make new franchises with a lot of marketing push. They have only really pumped all their money in making this blue fuck relevant -- with feature films, TV shows, memes, half-baked games, etc. I don't even conceive of most of the characters in the sonic franchise beyond their memes. Chili dogs, gotta go fast, all the really shitty games, Ken Penders comics, Ugandan Knuckles, this song that has been stuck in my head for a year.
I can't avoid him even if I wanted to, because I can see the 3D gaming potential of Sonic. It is sad that Sonic Dream Team is a release I didn't even know existed until I was browsing my sister's Apple TV! It ended up being the best official 3D Sonic thing I've played in actual decades! Usually, unless it's a fan game, his games are probably deeply flawed! It's kind not getting that way anymore maybe!?
There are people who are now grandparents out there who were prime demographic youths when OG Sonic dropped. He is like Scooby Doo for Gen X. Sonic went 3D 6 years into his conception and we're just now seeing what potential there is that can be seen and felt; what a truly good 3D game can do beyond having busted or overly linear level design! It's kind of pathetic that we just got here but we are here. Sonic Team wasn't even responsible for making me feel that way. Sonic Team! YOU'RE TOO SLOW.
Sonic Dream Team is good even if you hate this chili-glizzy-guzzling anthro hedgehog. It is my hope for you that a Sonic game will natively run past 30fps without performance issues in your lifetime.
2021
I literally cannot play this game because the graphics make me physically ill (I'm being for real, I get sick because my brain cannot process the garbage color textures well and has now made me scared about having some sort of condition so thank you a lot Cruelty Squad).
I played two missions while dicking around the overworld and had a blast. I know the art style is on purpose and it's really funny but I might fucking die if I continue playing it so everyone else have fun.
I played two missions while dicking around the overworld and had a blast. I know the art style is on purpose and it's really funny but I might fucking die if I continue playing it so everyone else have fun.
2024
In the pussy like ↑ → ↓ ↓ ↓
This game fucks and it fucks hard.
2023
The Phantom Thieves are played out. None of them are real or will be my girlfriend anyway.
2023
You cock.
Edit: Hey this game is too fucking long. I get that EVERYTHING sucks and things get only worse and like that's like a metaphor for life and climate change and war mongers that control our lives but like I want to ride a chocobo.
Also why are items that make the game fun withheld from you? For a game this long, you get items you equip that change the mechanics to be more robust and fun. You get these items AFTER 60 hours of pressing three buttons in player controlled combat.
That Titan fight is the most expensive thing I have ever seen in a video game. That's where all the FF14 money went. Into some Metal Gear Rising Dragonball Z shit. Amazing.
I want to like this game more, but it couldn't feel like a game 5 different game studios super-glued together to make a unique product which I appreciate and in some ways love.
The rough edges are felt and cannot be ignored because this game is too goddamn long and dumbass casuals are not going to figure out there are items in their inventory that make the game fun. I get why they are separated so as to curate the game experience but like literacy rates are plummeting and motherfuckers are scrolling r/bigwhiteasses in between gameplay segments. This game would have been received better if the default player combat experience was more fun from the start.
The world's most expensive and exhilarating cutscenes are not going to prevent people being bored long-term if their participation is not up to par. You got the DMC5 combat designer in this bitch and his work is essentially hidden from plain view. Come on, now.
Between Tears of the Kingdom, Hi-Fi Rush and this game. 2023 was a juggernaut of soundtracks. I think FF16 had the best overall soundtrack of the game's I played. The dude who wrote most of the music had like stage 2 cancer while writing it, so the themes of death go hard as FUCK in a very emotional way. Goddamn this game will make you sad and terrified. It's good stuff.
I'm not going to dismiss this game as torture porn. But I think it's small glimmers of hope and joy that you do see in this game that are insanely powerful. Like the game puts you in a state of acceptance of slavery, poverty, plague and needless warmongering only to pull your head out of the water to make you look at the rare Moogle or Jill's boobs.
The ultimate villain is dumb and kind of ruins some themes the game was running with, but not since like Final Fantasy 6 do you feel somewhat hopeless at winning against them. It's awesome.
FF16 plays around in a miasma of human misery to highlight what's truly precious in life to those who want to know peace. Is it particularly niche and inaccessible? It is to mainstream audiences for now. I think appreciation for what's here will only grow in time.
They should releases this with a re-wired combat system so I don't fall asleep 40 hours in but like you know Square doesn't do anything 100% right. I'm cool with the final product, but not as much as I had hoped.
I can't wait for this to come out on PC and melt everyone's GPU.
Edit: Hey this game is too fucking long. I get that EVERYTHING sucks and things get only worse and like that's like a metaphor for life and climate change and war mongers that control our lives but like I want to ride a chocobo.
Also why are items that make the game fun withheld from you? For a game this long, you get items you equip that change the mechanics to be more robust and fun. You get these items AFTER 60 hours of pressing three buttons in player controlled combat.
That Titan fight is the most expensive thing I have ever seen in a video game. That's where all the FF14 money went. Into some Metal Gear Rising Dragonball Z shit. Amazing.
I want to like this game more, but it couldn't feel like a game 5 different game studios super-glued together to make a unique product which I appreciate and in some ways love.
The rough edges are felt and cannot be ignored because this game is too goddamn long and dumbass casuals are not going to figure out there are items in their inventory that make the game fun. I get why they are separated so as to curate the game experience but like literacy rates are plummeting and motherfuckers are scrolling r/bigwhiteasses in between gameplay segments. This game would have been received better if the default player combat experience was more fun from the start.
The world's most expensive and exhilarating cutscenes are not going to prevent people being bored long-term if their participation is not up to par. You got the DMC5 combat designer in this bitch and his work is essentially hidden from plain view. Come on, now.
Between Tears of the Kingdom, Hi-Fi Rush and this game. 2023 was a juggernaut of soundtracks. I think FF16 had the best overall soundtrack of the game's I played. The dude who wrote most of the music had like stage 2 cancer while writing it, so the themes of death go hard as FUCK in a very emotional way. Goddamn this game will make you sad and terrified. It's good stuff.
I'm not going to dismiss this game as torture porn. But I think it's small glimmers of hope and joy that you do see in this game that are insanely powerful. Like the game puts you in a state of acceptance of slavery, poverty, plague and needless warmongering only to pull your head out of the water to make you look at the rare Moogle or Jill's boobs.
The ultimate villain is dumb and kind of ruins some themes the game was running with, but not since like Final Fantasy 6 do you feel somewhat hopeless at winning against them. It's awesome.
FF16 plays around in a miasma of human misery to highlight what's truly precious in life to those who want to know peace. Is it particularly niche and inaccessible? It is to mainstream audiences for now. I think appreciation for what's here will only grow in time.
They should releases this with a re-wired combat system so I don't fall asleep 40 hours in but like you know Square doesn't do anything 100% right. I'm cool with the final product, but not as much as I had hoped.
I can't wait for this to come out on PC and melt everyone's GPU.
2006
It cannot be denied that this game is GOAT'd in the hearts of many. This game fucking went for some crazy ass shit and succeeded. It may have flopped sales wise, and then there's that famous IGN review, but do not get it twisted; God Hand is a God Game.
This game was made by actual crackheads under the studio name of Clover. God Hand is a highly customizable beat 'em up that features Japanese absurdist humor mixed with over the top American media tropes AND gambling on poison chihuahua races. You THINK you don't care about poison chihuahua racing, but you will.
This game was made by actual crackheads under the studio name of Clover. God Hand is a highly customizable beat 'em up that features Japanese absurdist humor mixed with over the top American media tropes AND gambling on poison chihuahua races. You THINK you don't care about poison chihuahua racing, but you will.
2023
Edit: I beat it. This game should actually be called "Garl Is The Fucking Man" cause Garl is that DUDE right there. Shoutout Garl.
Do you like Chrono Trigger? Do you like Trials of Mana? Do you like fucking Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga? Do you like Golden Sun? Do you like...the best pixel art I have ever seen? It will never be as impactful as Chrono Trigger, but Sea of Stars is delightfully fun for old AND new prospective audiences looking a standout RPG experience.
The combat system is incredibly satisfying. It's fun to beat the shit out of creatures with every character's abilities. The environments are mind-blowing. It's a good time.
My biggest gripe is that it starts SO.SLOW. Luckily, me being high as shit when I was playing this and pressing the A button for two straight hours got me through. I don't blame any casual who picked this game up off Playstation Plus who uninstalled before you even leave the academy because it's simply too dry with all it's plot threads it's setting up.
Anyway I love this shit. It has been the most pleasant surprise this year. My gf saw me play it and then spent every waking hour playing it til she beat it with the true ending.
Do you like Chrono Trigger? Do you like Trials of Mana? Do you like fucking Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga? Do you like Golden Sun? Do you like...the best pixel art I have ever seen? It will never be as impactful as Chrono Trigger, but Sea of Stars is delightfully fun for old AND new prospective audiences looking a standout RPG experience.
The combat system is incredibly satisfying. It's fun to beat the shit out of creatures with every character's abilities. The environments are mind-blowing. It's a good time.
My biggest gripe is that it starts SO.SLOW. Luckily, me being high as shit when I was playing this and pressing the A button for two straight hours got me through. I don't blame any casual who picked this game up off Playstation Plus who uninstalled before you even leave the academy because it's simply too dry with all it's plot threads it's setting up.
Anyway I love this shit. It has been the most pleasant surprise this year. My gf saw me play it and then spent every waking hour playing it til she beat it with the true ending.