SternStan
1997
POSTAL 1 has the best aesthetic and the most consistent focus throughout any of the games in the series, so much so that even its remake loses a bit of the charm of the original. not by much, the music and the art are all still there, but it's worth at least considering.
the gameplay on the other hand is rather basic, shoot all the people that are shooting at you to unlock the ability to press F1 and move to the next level. why do you need to press F1? who knows! the loop isn't bad in itself, and the game does try its best to at least spice things up visually with some levels being isometric and others being top-down, but ultimately each level plays more or less the same.
it's an unfortunate case where everything about the game except the gameplay itself is interesting/enjoyable, but at least the everything else is wild enough that it pushed me to keep going. if you want a more refined version of the game, the remaster is better suited for that.
also whoever thought of some of the conditions for these achievements should be ashamed
the gameplay on the other hand is rather basic, shoot all the people that are shooting at you to unlock the ability to press F1 and move to the next level. why do you need to press F1? who knows! the loop isn't bad in itself, and the game does try its best to at least spice things up visually with some levels being isometric and others being top-down, but ultimately each level plays more or less the same.
it's an unfortunate case where everything about the game except the gameplay itself is interesting/enjoyable, but at least the everything else is wild enough that it pushed me to keep going. if you want a more refined version of the game, the remaster is better suited for that.
also whoever thought of some of the conditions for these achievements should be ashamed
the absolute pinnacle of copyright infringement
I love the theme that everything is a reference not to something people know, but to the most random bullshit like an unlicensed remake of snoopy on the commodore 64, or the java happy tree friends game, or a ripoff of stick figures on crack.
the music is just as experimental as the theme of the game, heavily utilizing samples from absolutely everywhere. it honestly sounds great, there's not a single track i hate
the game itself? holy shit this has to be one of the best feeling not-marios i've ever played. the dive is such a beautifully done mechanic and gets so much mileage. the different power-ups you get are all useful to some degree, and the levels, while difficult, never really feel bullshit or completely insurmountable. please play this I am begging you
I love the theme that everything is a reference not to something people know, but to the most random bullshit like an unlicensed remake of snoopy on the commodore 64, or the java happy tree friends game, or a ripoff of stick figures on crack.
the music is just as experimental as the theme of the game, heavily utilizing samples from absolutely everywhere. it honestly sounds great, there's not a single track i hate
the game itself? holy shit this has to be one of the best feeling not-marios i've ever played. the dive is such a beautifully done mechanic and gets so much mileage. the different power-ups you get are all useful to some degree, and the levels, while difficult, never really feel bullshit or completely insurmountable. please play this I am begging you
2011
the description saying that this is similar to super monkey ball couldn't be further from the truth. super monkey ball is a game where you tilt the stage to move your monkey around intricately designed stages to the goal. neverball, on the other hand, is a game where you tilt the stage to gently suggest that the ball move to a close approximation to where you want to go, having to collect a bunch of coins that are all in bufu egypt for the level to decide you can hit the goal across a bunch of stages that actively punish you for not playing the way it wants you to play.
the best thing about this game is that you can close it. there is absolutely no reason to play this with better clones out there now
the best thing about this game is that you can close it. there is absolutely no reason to play this with better clones out there now
2004
bar none this is my favorite game, and arguably one of the most influential indie games ever released.
everything about this game feels intentional and done with extreme care. the stylish look of the characters and the scenery, the pc engine-like soundtrack which is filled with banger after banger, the design of each area and how each enemy functions in relation to the area and with the player, how every weapon is specifically designed for different situations and every single weapon you come across gets some time to shine, the development of each character over time, i could gush about this game forever.
my only complaint is that repeat playthroughs are a bit more of a slog since you can't skip text boxes, which is especially annoying if you die and have to read the same lines again. however that's not really enough to hurt my opinion of the game at all.
also the true ending can be pretty bullshit to both reach and get through -500/10
everything about this game feels intentional and done with extreme care. the stylish look of the characters and the scenery, the pc engine-like soundtrack which is filled with banger after banger, the design of each area and how each enemy functions in relation to the area and with the player, how every weapon is specifically designed for different situations and every single weapon you come across gets some time to shine, the development of each character over time, i could gush about this game forever.
my only complaint is that repeat playthroughs are a bit more of a slog since you can't skip text boxes, which is especially annoying if you die and have to read the same lines again. however that's not really enough to hurt my opinion of the game at all.
2015
a staple of the roguelite/like/whatever scene, and for very good reason. though, despite it falling under the roguewhatever label i find it more apt to simply call this a more modern arcade game, as very few of the unlocks, the golden guns that you can switch out of, actually improve future runs. the other unlocks are either gameplay modifiers (new characters and crowns) or skins for the characters.
it's a damn GOOD arcade game too. always moving, always demanding your attention, everything dies fast including you. (almost) all the weapons feel satisfying and have some sort of use case. especially melee weapons, holy shit melee is necessary if you want to get a high score. every character is unique and require a different playstyle, and despite how cluttered the game can get, you're always able to see which bullets are yours and which ones will hurt you. a gold standard for twin stick shooters.
also there is NO reason for this game to make me tear up what the hell jukio kallio
it's a damn GOOD arcade game too. always moving, always demanding your attention, everything dies fast including you. (almost) all the weapons feel satisfying and have some sort of use case. especially melee weapons, holy shit melee is necessary if you want to get a high score. every character is unique and require a different playstyle, and despite how cluttered the game can get, you're always able to see which bullets are yours and which ones will hurt you. a gold standard for twin stick shooters.
also there is NO reason for this game to make me tear up what the hell jukio kallio
2018
there is no quitting btd6, once you play you're trapped forever. at least you're trapped in a really fun game, holy shit the amount of strategies and the depths the maps can give you are unparalleled to almost any other tower defense ever.
a frankly insane amount of content too, and it will only continue to get more and more. i'd say play it if you like tower defense games or strategy games but chances are you already have
a frankly insane amount of content too, and it will only continue to get more and more. i'd say play it if you like tower defense games or strategy games but chances are you already have
it's alright, I guess. it was never meant to be anything more than a little side game, and expecting anything more than a little side game is kind of ridiculous here.
the puzzles were fine, the music is just fine, the game (outside of the needless CRT filter that can be disabled) looked fine, the whole game is just... fine. it exists, it brings a cute little gift for christmas, and then leaves after showing off all its tricks.
this sadly is still one of the better christmas games out there
the puzzles were fine, the music is just fine, the game (outside of the needless CRT filter that can be disabled) looked fine, the whole game is just... fine. it exists, it brings a cute little gift for christmas, and then leaves after showing off all its tricks.
this sadly is still one of the better christmas games out there
2007
this is the most 5/10 game to have ever been 5/10'd. the game looks and sounds fairly impressive for DS standards and i wouldn't expect anything less from shin'en, but the actual game is so forgettable that i couldn't even tell you what actually happens in it. i haven't even touched this game since i was a kid and it'll probably stay that way forever.
being forgettably average is still way better than garfield's usual batting average. something something in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king.
being forgettably average is still way better than garfield's usual batting average. something something in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king.
2004
what you're referring to as supertux is in fact gnu/supertux, or as I've taken to calling it, gnu + supertux
I've followed development on this game since 0.3.X, playing most major releases since. progress has been glacial (pardon the pun) for sure, but the game is still perfectly playable as of right now. there's a few things I miss from 0.1.X such as the old sound effects, but I understand they wish to keep a consistent and specific style.
the game plays very well, tux controls exactly as you expect him to and all of the official levels feel fair enough to complete. unfortunately the game itself doesn't do all too much to stand out from other 2D platformers other than "oh it's the linux platformer", but it at least does what it wants to do very well. the game also allows you to play and create custom levels, so there's a lot more content waiting if the main game felt too short.
I still miss the "Excellent!" soundbyte though please bring it back for 0.7
I've followed development on this game since 0.3.X, playing most major releases since. progress has been glacial (pardon the pun) for sure, but the game is still perfectly playable as of right now. there's a few things I miss from 0.1.X such as the old sound effects, but I understand they wish to keep a consistent and specific style.
the game plays very well, tux controls exactly as you expect him to and all of the official levels feel fair enough to complete. unfortunately the game itself doesn't do all too much to stand out from other 2D platformers other than "oh it's the linux platformer", but it at least does what it wants to do very well. the game also allows you to play and create custom levels, so there's a lot more content waiting if the main game felt too short.
I still miss the "Excellent!" soundbyte though please bring it back for 0.7
2023
let me preface this by saying that I don't like any game in the "survivor" subgenre of roguelites. nearly all of those games have the exact same loop where the first couple of runs you die because of a lack of metaprogress, then after you get even a little bit of progress in you can beat everything in the game by rolling your face on the keyboard for five minutes then leaving it idle for the rest of the run. so why do I like this one so much?
simple, because this actually bothered to add in gameplay instead of being a digital kaleidoscope. while in the first couple of runs of understanding and with the "easier" characters you could maybe beat the game with less effort, most characters on the highest difficulty require enough planning that makes it very difficult to idle without luck and a good build. it also helps that instead of sitting around for 15-30 minutes rolling your face on the keyboard, the game goes for bite sized waves that last about a minute at most, then sends you to the shop to purchase weapons and items.
outside of that, the game does a very good job at telling you at what is okay to touch and what isn't with its simple yet charming flash game art style. purple blobs and red circles are bad, while green is good, for example. the only sore spot aesthetically is that i find the soundtrack forgettable. it's not bad, though.
it just sucks that this is the exception to the rule rather than the standard for survivorlikes
simple, because this actually bothered to add in gameplay instead of being a digital kaleidoscope. while in the first couple of runs of understanding and with the "easier" characters you could maybe beat the game with less effort, most characters on the highest difficulty require enough planning that makes it very difficult to idle without luck and a good build. it also helps that instead of sitting around for 15-30 minutes rolling your face on the keyboard, the game goes for bite sized waves that last about a minute at most, then sends you to the shop to purchase weapons and items.
outside of that, the game does a very good job at telling you at what is okay to touch and what isn't with its simple yet charming flash game art style. purple blobs and red circles are bad, while green is good, for example. the only sore spot aesthetically is that i find the soundtrack forgettable. it's not bad, though.
it just sucks that this is the exception to the rule rather than the standard for survivorlikes
2020
i am under strict contractual obligation to play every game that features a deer as a major character in some way shape or form. unfortunately that includes this
look, i get it. it's a silly haha joke game and you're not supposed to take it seriously. i don't mind that part. what's there is fine enough and the ability to switch to a bipedal form and the ability to use your neck as a grappling hook all work just fine and is quite haha funny silly wacky goofy and whatever other synonym for humorous you can think of. what's there is fine, but the big problems are that there's not much to do to begin with, and the game kind of just... ends after a couple of hours, and that's if you go out of your way to do absolutely everything. your play time could be a lot shorter if you aren't trying to actively comb for every minute detail and silly wacky thing you can do. it all feels pretty half assed even for a joke game, which makes the asking price of 15 smackers atrocious for what you actually get in return.
it at least got one thing right, I get to play in traffic and shoot down cars. I can do that in the game too
look, i get it. it's a silly haha joke game and you're not supposed to take it seriously. i don't mind that part. what's there is fine enough and the ability to switch to a bipedal form and the ability to use your neck as a grappling hook all work just fine and is quite haha funny silly wacky goofy and whatever other synonym for humorous you can think of. what's there is fine, but the big problems are that there's not much to do to begin with, and the game kind of just... ends after a couple of hours, and that's if you go out of your way to do absolutely everything. your play time could be a lot shorter if you aren't trying to actively comb for every minute detail and silly wacky thing you can do. it all feels pretty half assed even for a joke game, which makes the asking price of 15 smackers atrocious for what you actually get in return.
it at least got one thing right, I get to play in traffic and shoot down cars. I can do that in the game too
2006
out of all the Kirby games out there, this is certainly one of them. I liked the part where Daroach said "it's squeakin' time" and squeaked all over the place with his squad.
there's nothing inherently wrong with this title at all. the levels are decent enough, most of the abilities are fine, the treasures are at worth collecting to see what new things you'll find as they all give you at least something kind of worthwhile, music is good as usual, but I think the problem with this is that this game doesn't exactly do too much new compared to other kirbies before it, and it wouldn't be long before super star ultra would completely overshadow this game. it's not a bad game at all, just a mildly disappointing one as most other kirby games after super star had a substantial enough gimmick (or in the case of dream land 3, a unique art style that has yet to be replicated) to make it truly stand out amongst its peers. what's this one's gimmick?
the chests? there's only a few chests you actually need to beat the game.
the touch screen held items? i mean... i guess? that is unique to this game, i think, but it never gets utilized all that much and the only reason to use this mechanic is so you can keep a copy of twister and break the game into two
the mice? okay we'll go with the mice, daroach is pretty cute
there's nothing inherently wrong with this title at all. the levels are decent enough, most of the abilities are fine, the treasures are at worth collecting to see what new things you'll find as they all give you at least something kind of worthwhile, music is good as usual, but I think the problem with this is that this game doesn't exactly do too much new compared to other kirbies before it, and it wouldn't be long before super star ultra would completely overshadow this game. it's not a bad game at all, just a mildly disappointing one as most other kirby games after super star had a substantial enough gimmick (or in the case of dream land 3, a unique art style that has yet to be replicated) to make it truly stand out amongst its peers. what's this one's gimmick?
the chests? there's only a few chests you actually need to beat the game.
the touch screen held items? i mean... i guess? that is unique to this game, i think, but it never gets utilized all that much and the only reason to use this mechanic is so you can keep a copy of twister and break the game into two
the mice? okay we'll go with the mice, daroach is pretty cute
2017
when this game came out, it was a surprise to all 13 fans of bomberman. it was assumed he was found dead in miami after hudson soft was absorbed into konami and the 3DS bomberman game was cancelled. i picked this up maybe a year after the game launched on the switch. so how was it?
it... tried, i guess. despite this game being 24 years after the release of super bomberman 1, it somehow manages to feature less variety than that in terms of all the powers you can get. the story mode is whatever, the cutscenes have this weird feeling of putting in a lot of effort to be no effort, if that makes any sense. there's animation, but they're all confined to boxes and the animation is just excessive use of the puppet tool. also for some reason they made incest a part of the reboot canon? like, lovely bomber was both a love interest for some of the bomberman brothers and also a part of the bomberman brothers. why?
the actual game is whatever, it's the standard bomberman experience with a couple of missions to try to spice things up, like instead of just getting to the goal, you'll have to unlock it by getting keys, or escorting some fools, or in some cases you just survive in a stage with endlessly respawning enemies until the timer hits zero. it's an honest effort at least. maybe they could've also expended some effort to make the bosses less of a pain in the ass, but i shouldn't expect much from konami
the battle mode is fine too, but that's true with all bomberman games that have a battle mode. there's not much that sets R's battle mode apart from any of the other ones. i have not tried grand prix mode, and from my experience no one else has either since the online became vacant 3 months after launch.
there's a lot of debate as to what the R stood for in this game, with "reboot" being a common one. i'd like to propose that the R stands for "rehash". just play the snes supers instead.
it... tried, i guess. despite this game being 24 years after the release of super bomberman 1, it somehow manages to feature less variety than that in terms of all the powers you can get. the story mode is whatever, the cutscenes have this weird feeling of putting in a lot of effort to be no effort, if that makes any sense. there's animation, but they're all confined to boxes and the animation is just excessive use of the puppet tool. also for some reason they made incest a part of the reboot canon? like, lovely bomber was both a love interest for some of the bomberman brothers and also a part of the bomberman brothers. why?
the actual game is whatever, it's the standard bomberman experience with a couple of missions to try to spice things up, like instead of just getting to the goal, you'll have to unlock it by getting keys, or escorting some fools, or in some cases you just survive in a stage with endlessly respawning enemies until the timer hits zero. it's an honest effort at least. maybe they could've also expended some effort to make the bosses less of a pain in the ass, but i shouldn't expect much from konami
the battle mode is fine too, but that's true with all bomberman games that have a battle mode. there's not much that sets R's battle mode apart from any of the other ones. i have not tried grand prix mode, and from my experience no one else has either since the online became vacant 3 months after launch.
there's a lot of debate as to what the R stood for in this game, with "reboot" being a common one. i'd like to propose that the R stands for "rehash". just play the snes supers instead.
2020
throughout my ~600 hours of this game across multiple seasons, i have only ever had one (1) person bitch at me in the chat and one (1) person trying to throw the mission for shits and/or giggles. this alone puts it in the upper echelon of multiplayer games that let you play with strangers.
also the game itself is just very good. there only being four classes means each of them will always see a use in any situation, and all the different loadouts you can have along with the overclocks that modify each weapon encourage experimentation with different playstyles on each class. the game will always have something for you to do even after you clear all the assignments, as the overclock grind never ends. please help i still have like hundreds left to get and the damn machine events don't feel like spawning in
if you were put off by how long season 4 lasted and how awful rockpox was, season 5 thankfully is much better and has a much less miserable season event. you can also choose any season to play at any time.
oh, and rock and stone
also the game itself is just very good. there only being four classes means each of them will always see a use in any situation, and all the different loadouts you can have along with the overclocks that modify each weapon encourage experimentation with different playstyles on each class. the game will always have something for you to do even after you clear all the assignments, as the overclock grind never ends. please help i still have like hundreds left to get and the damn machine events don't feel like spawning in
if you were put off by how long season 4 lasted and how awful rockpox was, season 5 thankfully is much better and has a much less miserable season event. you can also choose any season to play at any time.
oh, and rock and stone
2016
I wish I could like this game, I really do. unfortunately the game does not reciprocate the same feelings.
the game is best described as a mix of binding of isaac and nuclear throne, but it doesn't seem to do either one of those right. the game is far too slow paced for throne players to hop into gungeon, and the game doesn't give you enough opportunities to build into wacky synergies like isaac, and even when you do get a lucky synergy the bosses take so long that said wackies don't matter in the long run. turbo mode does rectify this a little bit, but it never completely shakes off the feeling that you never feel decently powerful. it sucks that the game doesn't feel good to play at all, because i adore absolutely everything else about the game. the music, the visuals, all the shoutouts to different guns throughout all of media, even all the different wacky characters.
at least you can beat the shit out of a rat? i guess?
the game is best described as a mix of binding of isaac and nuclear throne, but it doesn't seem to do either one of those right. the game is far too slow paced for throne players to hop into gungeon, and the game doesn't give you enough opportunities to build into wacky synergies like isaac, and even when you do get a lucky synergy the bosses take so long that said wackies don't matter in the long run. turbo mode does rectify this a little bit, but it never completely shakes off the feeling that you never feel decently powerful. it sucks that the game doesn't feel good to play at all, because i adore absolutely everything else about the game. the music, the visuals, all the shoutouts to different guns throughout all of media, even all the different wacky characters.
at least you can beat the shit out of a rat? i guess?