SwitSwat
BACKER
2013
Often released as a bundle with its immediate sequel, Ys I really is just one half of a bigger whole. However, since it still works as its own standalone game, I decided to review them separately. As the first Ys game I ever played, there was an initial sense of confusion as I tried to figure out the somewhat archaic combat system and lack of explicit guidance. Thankfully, once it clicked, I enjoyed my short time with it and made me eager to check out the rest of the series.
Story: Adol Christin is a young, wandering adventurer who happens to come across the town of Minea, in the land of Esteria. Here, he meets a fortuneteller named Sara, who informs him of a terrible evil that he must ultimately bring an end to (nothing new, amirite?). In order to do this, he must find the six Books of Ys; text which contains the history of the ancient land of Ys and the knowledge needed to bring an end to the dark forces at bay.
Despite containing a simple plot, it’s still impressive to note how it exceeds expectations for a game released in 1987. In the same year that The Legend of Zelda released for the NES in North America, Falcom was creating an ambitious duology that not only contains plenty of dialogue, but also fairly interesting lore in the way of solid worldbuilding, interesting NPC conversations, and a fairly detailed and expansive backstory for the main hero in the original game’s manual; a backstory containing locale and event descriptions that would continue to be referenced in future games to this day.
Gameplay: This was the biggest roadblock upon starting the game. The infamous “bump” combat is a weird system that, although easy to understand, is incredibly awkward to execute for a first-time player and takes a bit of getting used to. But once I did, I was making mincemeat of enemies left and right. The bump combat simply involves running into enemies at an off angle in order to minimize damage received and increase damage taken. There is no attack button involved for this. The main limitation to this is the lack of variety. Even during bosses, it’s mainly a matter of learning its attack pattern and just bumping into their weak spot when possible. Still, the game is short, which helps a bit with its inevitable redundancy. Not to mention, the boss designs are damn cool and the fights themselves are still fun and challenging.
As with any RPG, you level up after gaining enough experience points. And trust me, if you feel like you are doing next to no damage to a boss, then you have to grind. Because here’s the thing: The level cap is 10. That’s right, you can only reach level 10 in this game, which means that each level gives you quite the significant boost to strength and defense. With each new area, enemies give a lot more EXP, so grinding isn’t much of a problem in this game, as it’s fairly quick.
Apart from this, there’s also a shop where you can buy better equipment, as is typical for the genre.
Through this short journey, NPC’s will give you hints on certain items you must find and use in order to make progress. None of these are usually too cryptic but, backtracking and traversing some of the maze-like dungeons can be a bit of a chore unless you look up a map. The final dungeon is especially huge and can be a bit of pain. And um… if I can just vent for a second…: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING WITH THAT FINAL BOSS? All I can say is, prepare your butthole.
Music: Um… yeah… There is no reason for the music to be this good. Honestly, all the Ys games I’ve played have had great soundtracks, but it’s especially impressive to hear these tracks from a game released 35 years ago. Granted, with this being a remaster, the soundtrack has been re-recorded and remixed, but even after listening to the original soundtrack, it’s amazing to hear the foundation of a wonderfully melodic and haunting track list that perfectly captures the sense of adventure. Not much else to say here. The music is fantastic.
Ys is a series that usually flies under the radar of many RPG fans, and even with the recent success of VIII and IX, many would still be hard pressed to return to the series’ roots. I believe it’s well worth it, though. Ys I (and II) may not be a perfect experience, and it is admittedly not for everyone, but with its short playtime and classic Falcom charm, it just begs to be given a chance and experienced.
Story: Adol Christin is a young, wandering adventurer who happens to come across the town of Minea, in the land of Esteria. Here, he meets a fortuneteller named Sara, who informs him of a terrible evil that he must ultimately bring an end to (nothing new, amirite?). In order to do this, he must find the six Books of Ys; text which contains the history of the ancient land of Ys and the knowledge needed to bring an end to the dark forces at bay.
Despite containing a simple plot, it’s still impressive to note how it exceeds expectations for a game released in 1987. In the same year that The Legend of Zelda released for the NES in North America, Falcom was creating an ambitious duology that not only contains plenty of dialogue, but also fairly interesting lore in the way of solid worldbuilding, interesting NPC conversations, and a fairly detailed and expansive backstory for the main hero in the original game’s manual; a backstory containing locale and event descriptions that would continue to be referenced in future games to this day.
Gameplay: This was the biggest roadblock upon starting the game. The infamous “bump” combat is a weird system that, although easy to understand, is incredibly awkward to execute for a first-time player and takes a bit of getting used to. But once I did, I was making mincemeat of enemies left and right. The bump combat simply involves running into enemies at an off angle in order to minimize damage received and increase damage taken. There is no attack button involved for this. The main limitation to this is the lack of variety. Even during bosses, it’s mainly a matter of learning its attack pattern and just bumping into their weak spot when possible. Still, the game is short, which helps a bit with its inevitable redundancy. Not to mention, the boss designs are damn cool and the fights themselves are still fun and challenging.
As with any RPG, you level up after gaining enough experience points. And trust me, if you feel like you are doing next to no damage to a boss, then you have to grind. Because here’s the thing: The level cap is 10. That’s right, you can only reach level 10 in this game, which means that each level gives you quite the significant boost to strength and defense. With each new area, enemies give a lot more EXP, so grinding isn’t much of a problem in this game, as it’s fairly quick.
Apart from this, there’s also a shop where you can buy better equipment, as is typical for the genre.
Through this short journey, NPC’s will give you hints on certain items you must find and use in order to make progress. None of these are usually too cryptic but, backtracking and traversing some of the maze-like dungeons can be a bit of a chore unless you look up a map. The final dungeon is especially huge and can be a bit of pain. And um… if I can just vent for a second…: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING WITH THAT FINAL BOSS? All I can say is, prepare your butthole.
Music: Um… yeah… There is no reason for the music to be this good. Honestly, all the Ys games I’ve played have had great soundtracks, but it’s especially impressive to hear these tracks from a game released 35 years ago. Granted, with this being a remaster, the soundtrack has been re-recorded and remixed, but even after listening to the original soundtrack, it’s amazing to hear the foundation of a wonderfully melodic and haunting track list that perfectly captures the sense of adventure. Not much else to say here. The music is fantastic.
Ys is a series that usually flies under the radar of many RPG fans, and even with the recent success of VIII and IX, many would still be hard pressed to return to the series’ roots. I believe it’s well worth it, though. Ys I (and II) may not be a perfect experience, and it is admittedly not for everyone, but with its short playtime and classic Falcom charm, it just begs to be given a chance and experienced.
They say that Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles are solid games on their own, but combined, they form what may very well be the greatest game of the classic series. Honestly, this doesn't make much sense to me. Two lukewarm beers do not make a cold and refreshing one.
Both halves of this game have some admittedly solid zones (I'd argue that Sonic & Knuckles more-so), and some really vibrant backgrounds that makes it stand out from the previous two games. Unfortunately, the attractive package is severely hampered by plenty of other subpar, and even downright terrible zones (I'm looking at you Carnival Night). The problem is made even worse by the fact that most of the zones are just too damn long. I actually ran out of time while doing one of the Acts in Carnival Night. That has never happened to me before in a Sonic game.
Y'all can laugh all you want and say it's skill issue (hell, I didn't even know you could jump in the special stages until someone pointed it out), but I still beat it, didn't I? I just really don't think the level design is up to par with what I expect from a good Sonic game. It's ambitious, I'll give it that. And you certainly get a lot more content than your average classic Sonic title. This game is like crab legs, though. If you wanna enjoy the meaty bits, you gotta really work for it, and I honestly don't think it's very much worth it. I'll just go back to the superior game: Sonic 2.
P.S. I'm not a big fan of seafood.
Both halves of this game have some admittedly solid zones (I'd argue that Sonic & Knuckles more-so), and some really vibrant backgrounds that makes it stand out from the previous two games. Unfortunately, the attractive package is severely hampered by plenty of other subpar, and even downright terrible zones (I'm looking at you Carnival Night). The problem is made even worse by the fact that most of the zones are just too damn long. I actually ran out of time while doing one of the Acts in Carnival Night. That has never happened to me before in a Sonic game.
Y'all can laugh all you want and say it's skill issue (hell, I didn't even know you could jump in the special stages until someone pointed it out), but I still beat it, didn't I? I just really don't think the level design is up to par with what I expect from a good Sonic game. It's ambitious, I'll give it that. And you certainly get a lot more content than your average classic Sonic title. This game is like crab legs, though. If you wanna enjoy the meaty bits, you gotta really work for it, and I honestly don't think it's very much worth it. I'll just go back to the superior game: Sonic 2.
This review contains spoilers
First, a preface. It's nice that all the patches recently got added to the database. I'll call that great timing on my part. I figured I'd log these as I go, mainly to keep track of my progress through this massive game, but also to share some brief thoughts on the main story, which is what I'll be basing my scores on.
Moving on; after the ending of ARR's base game absolutely convinced me to see this story to its conclusion, how does the first post-game patch hook you in? Well, it really doesn't. A Realm Awoken is a transition of sorts. With the Scions of the Seventh Dawn moving their base of operations from the Wakings Sands to the Rising Stones, it really does feel symbolic of the group's progression, but also, of the player. Nothing particularly exciting happens here, but I'm not one to typically hate on some set-up for better things to come, especially after I already pushed through ARR.
Minfilia's reunion with her adoptive mother was cute, and also, this is the first time in the main story where you get a chance to experience an 8-player trial (nowadays at least); this one particularly, in the form of a giant moogle. That was kinda fun.
Moving on; after the ending of ARR's base game absolutely convinced me to see this story to its conclusion, how does the first post-game patch hook you in? Well, it really doesn't. A Realm Awoken is a transition of sorts. With the Scions of the Seventh Dawn moving their base of operations from the Wakings Sands to the Rising Stones, it really does feel symbolic of the group's progression, but also, of the player. Nothing particularly exciting happens here, but I'm not one to typically hate on some set-up for better things to come, especially after I already pushed through ARR.
Minfilia's reunion with her adoptive mother was cute, and also, this is the first time in the main story where you get a chance to experience an 8-player trial (nowadays at least); this one particularly, in the form of a giant moogle. That was kinda fun.
I finally did it. After enduring a little over 2 hours of trial and error, including a random game crash at some point, I have finally achieved my first 1cc in a Touhou game. I am still shaking as I type this, and while Eastern Wonderland was the first game to really pull me in, this one has for sure solidified me as a fan. Keep in mind, I rarely care about high scores, or perfect runs, or just trying to improve in general when it comes to arcade style games or danmakus. But I just couldn't resist letting myself get beat here. I wanted to succeed and see that good ending. I was not going to back down. I WOULD prove that I am NOT a failure of a person. You hear that ZUN? SUCK IT!
This review contains spoilers
After about 85 hours (maybe less, as I'm just guestimating due to innacurate Steam times mainly caused by updates), the curtain doth close on this first leg of my FFXIV journey. The prior patches kept hinting at our eventual trek into Ishgard, and I'm glad it's finally coming. There's a lot to unpack here, and quite frankly, I don't think I have the energy or mental capacity to do so in writing after that absolutely killer ending. For the ending alone, I'd rate this patch a 10, but I have to be objective.
The first third of the MSQs here (patch 2.5 proper) are alright aside from the fun dungeon and trial (which is something I've come to expect all the time now). The loss of Moenbryda was a shame, but I felt like I barely got a chance to grow attached to her. Patch 2.55 is where I became more invested; and right as I get near the end... I get hit with the mandatory Crystal Tower quests/raids. I know this wasn't always mandatory, and it's something that was already introduced in one of the earlier patches, so I'm not counting it against this patch's score; I just don't see where else I'd get the chance to talk about it. I might have liked it better if I had played FF3, but as of writing this, I have not, which made for some somewhat insipid backstory and an underwhelming introduction to alliance raids.
But once that was out of the way and I progressed a bit more, I got stabbed with so many emotional daggers that I couldn't even process it. I literally sounded like a dying dog as I took a fetal position in my chair watching the absolutely unhinged clusterfuck that was unfolding before my eyes.
I'm angry. I'm depressed. I'm flabbergasted. I might hate Yoshi P.
But you know what? At least Teledji finally got what he deserved. Burn in hell, bitch. You won't be missed.
P.S. - Yugiri and Yda are hot. What a surprise...
The first third of the MSQs here (patch 2.5 proper) are alright aside from the fun dungeon and trial (which is something I've come to expect all the time now). The loss of Moenbryda was a shame, but I felt like I barely got a chance to grow attached to her. Patch 2.55 is where I became more invested; and right as I get near the end... I get hit with the mandatory Crystal Tower quests/raids. I know this wasn't always mandatory, and it's something that was already introduced in one of the earlier patches, so I'm not counting it against this patch's score; I just don't see where else I'd get the chance to talk about it. I might have liked it better if I had played FF3, but as of writing this, I have not, which made for some somewhat insipid backstory and an underwhelming introduction to alliance raids.
But once that was out of the way and I progressed a bit more, I got stabbed with so many emotional daggers that I couldn't even process it. I literally sounded like a dying dog as I took a fetal position in my chair watching the absolutely unhinged clusterfuck that was unfolding before my eyes.
I'm angry. I'm depressed. I'm flabbergasted. I might hate Yoshi P.
But you know what? At least Teledji finally got what he deserved. Burn in hell, bitch. You won't be missed.
P.S. - Yugiri and Yda are hot. What a surprise...
2016
When I first got a PS4, I was mainly looking forward to two games: Final Fantasy XV and Type-0. Since this is a XV review, I won’t talk about the latter here, but while the next mainline entry was still nearly 2 years away from release, I was still beyond hyped. Now, back then, I don’t think I was all that aware of the long and troubled development cycle that this game had gone through and how it originally started life as a XIII spin-off. We’ll probably never know how much better the game could have been had the original vision come to fruition, but I digress. This game was the first mainline title in the series to be released after I became a fan (if you don’t count A Realm Reborn). Games like FFVI and VII were pivotal in cementing my love for JRPGs as a whole (despite never having finished them at the time). This new title was shaping up to be an incredible game. An open-world, action-oriented Final Fantasy in a more modern/semi-realistic setting seemed unreal to a younger, teenage me. I pre-ordered the Deluxe Edition. My body and my mind were so ready. I popped that sucker in to my PS4 aaaaaand…
No, despite what you are thinking, I actually did enjoy it from the get-go. In fact, I was enthralled. But this was less a sign of the game’s quality and me just being starstruck by the visuals and the fact that the game was real. I was driving a car in a Final Fantasy game. It cannot get any cooler than that. It was around Chapter 6 however, that I paused the game for several months. Not because I got bored, mind you, but this was just a nasty habit I’ve always had where I just stop playing for long periods of time for seemingly no reason. Came back and beat another couple of chapters and then I paused again… for almost 6 years.
I didn’t come back and finish this game until recently, but hindsight is 20/20, and the years I left this game in the backlog got me thinking of just how much wasted potential this game had, and these thoughts were further cemented once I actually finished it. Sure, the game is fun, but each new mainline FF is worthy of a celebration. A series that has been as monumental and long-lasting as this getting a new game is always worthy of discussion and much anticipation, and while the series had certainly been on a downward spiral for many years to many, at least a game like XIII felt complete. XV is not. It’s a mishmash of interesting ideas with flawed execution. The combat is simple, and yet somehow a bit infuriating in how precise dodging has to be for certain bosses and encounters. Its simplicity may also be a contention for bad gameplay, but I still found it enjoyable enough, personally. The open world is ambitious, but feels incredibly barren, with little to do outside of often middling sidequests. It doesn’t help that driving is a semi-automatic affair in the world’s slowest convertible (though future upgrades give you more freedom).
And the story… this is where the cracks really show. Countless people have been vocal about how the story is simply unfinished, and I don’t think anyone can argue against that, not even the hardcore defenders of this game. If you want to get the full story, there’s a movie, an anime, a side game, four DLC episodes, and even a novel. Yes, a NOVEL. This game can give the Kingdom Hearts series a run for its money. Granted, if you’re looking for a relatively complete “self-contained” experience, you only need the DLC episodes, but it really didn’t need to be! It’s insane how quickly the story starts to progress after Chapter 9 or so. It feels like they were running out of time or budget and just needed to ship the game out ASAP.
There’s a lot of flaws, that much is obvious, but at the very least, it’s still an endearing game. While I don’t think it’s a great FF game, it’s still good in its own right, and the vibes of going on an adventure with your three best bros are immaculate. It’s the character moments, both large and small, that really define this game and make for a cozy experience. By the end of it all, I felt like I was personally saying goodbye to my best friends. There’s definitely enough heart here to make it worth playing, and whether you’re already a fan of the series or a newbie, I think it helps to set your expectations a bit low, and you may just end up enjoying your time with it.
No, despite what you are thinking, I actually did enjoy it from the get-go. In fact, I was enthralled. But this was less a sign of the game’s quality and me just being starstruck by the visuals and the fact that the game was real. I was driving a car in a Final Fantasy game. It cannot get any cooler than that. It was around Chapter 6 however, that I paused the game for several months. Not because I got bored, mind you, but this was just a nasty habit I’ve always had where I just stop playing for long periods of time for seemingly no reason. Came back and beat another couple of chapters and then I paused again… for almost 6 years.
I didn’t come back and finish this game until recently, but hindsight is 20/20, and the years I left this game in the backlog got me thinking of just how much wasted potential this game had, and these thoughts were further cemented once I actually finished it. Sure, the game is fun, but each new mainline FF is worthy of a celebration. A series that has been as monumental and long-lasting as this getting a new game is always worthy of discussion and much anticipation, and while the series had certainly been on a downward spiral for many years to many, at least a game like XIII felt complete. XV is not. It’s a mishmash of interesting ideas with flawed execution. The combat is simple, and yet somehow a bit infuriating in how precise dodging has to be for certain bosses and encounters. Its simplicity may also be a contention for bad gameplay, but I still found it enjoyable enough, personally. The open world is ambitious, but feels incredibly barren, with little to do outside of often middling sidequests. It doesn’t help that driving is a semi-automatic affair in the world’s slowest convertible (though future upgrades give you more freedom).
And the story… this is where the cracks really show. Countless people have been vocal about how the story is simply unfinished, and I don’t think anyone can argue against that, not even the hardcore defenders of this game. If you want to get the full story, there’s a movie, an anime, a side game, four DLC episodes, and even a novel. Yes, a NOVEL. This game can give the Kingdom Hearts series a run for its money. Granted, if you’re looking for a relatively complete “self-contained” experience, you only need the DLC episodes, but it really didn’t need to be! It’s insane how quickly the story starts to progress after Chapter 9 or so. It feels like they were running out of time or budget and just needed to ship the game out ASAP.
There’s a lot of flaws, that much is obvious, but at the very least, it’s still an endearing game. While I don’t think it’s a great FF game, it’s still good in its own right, and the vibes of going on an adventure with your three best bros are immaculate. It’s the character moments, both large and small, that really define this game and make for a cozy experience. By the end of it all, I felt like I was personally saying goodbye to my best friends. There’s definitely enough heart here to make it worth playing, and whether you’re already a fan of the series or a newbie, I think it helps to set your expectations a bit low, and you may just end up enjoying your time with it.
A superior sequel in every way. No more annoying slowdown, the level design is a bit more interesting, and the BS difficulty has been greatly toned down for the most part.
Unfortunately, they still forgot to make the game fun. Instead of having a fresh scoop of poop on a cone, you now have a vanilla cone with poop sprinkles. You still wouldn't want to eat it.
Unfortunately, they still forgot to make the game fun. Instead of having a fresh scoop of poop on a cone, you now have a vanilla cone with poop sprinkles. You still wouldn't want to eat it.
1997
This game is to the Kirby franchise what My Neighbor Totoro is to the Ghibli catalogue:
A cute and wholesome experience at the cost of being a slow and tedious slog.
A cute and wholesome experience at the cost of being a slow and tedious slog.
This game is literal hellspawn conceived by the Dark Lord himself. A disgusting lagfest of boring and downright sadistic level design, even by Castlevania standards. The amount of pixel perfect jumps required to beat this is ludicrous.
I'm just glad I didn't grow up in the 80's/early 90's, because there is no doubt I would have fallen for that "Official Nintendo Seal of Quality" and I would have never forgiven them for it.
I'm just glad I didn't grow up in the 80's/early 90's, because there is no doubt I would have fallen for that "Official Nintendo Seal of Quality" and I would have never forgiven them for it.
This review contains spoilers
There's a lot to digest here. It's just unfortunate that the 2nd third of this patch kills the pacing with the meandering around some ARR areas which felt more like busywork, despite knowing it was plot relevant. It doesn't help that we had to fight Titan again. Sure, it was the (Hard) version, but that was already optional content beforehand that I had already completed, so queuing up for it again was kinda whack.
But I digress, the actual meat of this patch is indeed interesting, and with Alisaie finally joining the fray here, it's cause for celebration enough. The return of Yda and Papalymo is also nice, but I'm so paranoid at this point in the story, especially with Urianger working as a double agent, that I'm starting to wonder if either of them are hiding something terrible. Of course, everything seemed to have worked out with Urianger and I'm glad he didn't actually betray us, but man, with this game, you never know.
The Warriors of Darkness had a sort of redemption arc in this one that made me feel some sympathy for them, but as it was with previous patches, there just seems to be a lot of set up for Shadowbringers and it kills me that there's still a whole expansion to go before then. Damn you, Yoshi P!
Oh, and Nero's back? Oh boy...
But I digress, the actual meat of this patch is indeed interesting, and with Alisaie finally joining the fray here, it's cause for celebration enough. The return of Yda and Papalymo is also nice, but I'm so paranoid at this point in the story, especially with Urianger working as a double agent, that I'm starting to wonder if either of them are hiding something terrible. Of course, everything seemed to have worked out with Urianger and I'm glad he didn't actually betray us, but man, with this game, you never know.
The Warriors of Darkness had a sort of redemption arc in this one that made me feel some sympathy for them, but as it was with previous patches, there just seems to be a lot of set up for Shadowbringers and it kills me that there's still a whole expansion to go before then. Damn you, Yoshi P!
Oh, and Nero's back? Oh boy...
1993
Since I'm no longer a gamer and my opinions mean nothing anymore (not that they ever did), I'm just going to come out and say it: Kirby's Adventure is one of the worst experiences I have had playing a video game to completion.
I first finished Kirby's Dreamland about 8 years ago. It was ridiculously short, and that was mainly its issue. I still had a decent time with it, but its length and simplicity made for a mediocre game at best. Kirby's Adventure's existence honestly baffles me. This came out over 2 years after the Super Famicom had already launched. They had the chance to innovate greatly on the original, which was severely limited by the hardware it was released on, but they basically did a repeat of that with MUCH WORSE results.
This game introduced the series staple of copying enemy abilities by eating them. Combining two allows you to make a new "power combo." I think I only ever did this once because playing this game is a constant struggle. The controls are atrocious, which are made worse by the severe slowdown throughout the entire game. Most of the time I took a hit in this game is because I tried inhaling or attacking an enemy and the controls would just fail me. Either nothing happens, or I start floating and become vulnerable. Not being able to inhale enemies while floating is such an annoying mechanic because of how slow you are. Always getting hit meant I could never hold onto one ability for long to have much fun, let alone combine two. Boss fights were especially grueling, and by the time I got to Level 7, I just couldn't be bothered anymore with the mini boss gauntlet. I had to use the Game Genie infinite energy cheat so I can finally get it over with.
Level 7-6 was a breath of fresh air because, like the Gameboy original, it's in black and white (minus Kirby himself). You know why I liked that level? Because it didn't run at 10 FPS. Seriously, if they had just made the whole game black and white, I'm sure I would have had a much better time. The slowdown is just that bad. The final boss was also kinda cool (well, Phase 1 at least). It becomes a side scrolling shooter of sorts, and not having to control Kirby with the floating controls was a brief, but much appreciated blessing. And then Phase 2 starts. Phase 2 sucks. The whole game sucks. And believe me, I feel bad saying that. There's definitely a lot of charm to this game and the series in general. It's definitely one of the best-looking games on the NES, but that doesn't mean much when I barely get any enjoyment out of it.
I first finished Kirby's Dreamland about 8 years ago. It was ridiculously short, and that was mainly its issue. I still had a decent time with it, but its length and simplicity made for a mediocre game at best. Kirby's Adventure's existence honestly baffles me. This came out over 2 years after the Super Famicom had already launched. They had the chance to innovate greatly on the original, which was severely limited by the hardware it was released on, but they basically did a repeat of that with MUCH WORSE results.
This game introduced the series staple of copying enemy abilities by eating them. Combining two allows you to make a new "power combo." I think I only ever did this once because playing this game is a constant struggle. The controls are atrocious, which are made worse by the severe slowdown throughout the entire game. Most of the time I took a hit in this game is because I tried inhaling or attacking an enemy and the controls would just fail me. Either nothing happens, or I start floating and become vulnerable. Not being able to inhale enemies while floating is such an annoying mechanic because of how slow you are. Always getting hit meant I could never hold onto one ability for long to have much fun, let alone combine two. Boss fights were especially grueling, and by the time I got to Level 7, I just couldn't be bothered anymore with the mini boss gauntlet. I had to use the Game Genie infinite energy cheat so I can finally get it over with.
Level 7-6 was a breath of fresh air because, like the Gameboy original, it's in black and white (minus Kirby himself). You know why I liked that level? Because it didn't run at 10 FPS. Seriously, if they had just made the whole game black and white, I'm sure I would have had a much better time. The slowdown is just that bad. The final boss was also kinda cool (well, Phase 1 at least). It becomes a side scrolling shooter of sorts, and not having to control Kirby with the floating controls was a brief, but much appreciated blessing. And then Phase 2 starts. Phase 2 sucks. The whole game sucks. And believe me, I feel bad saying that. There's definitely a lot of charm to this game and the series in general. It's definitely one of the best-looking games on the NES, but that doesn't mean much when I barely get any enjoyment out of it.
Stage 1 music didn't have to go so hard, though. But seriously, I was really excited to finally get to the Windows games, and perhaps my expectations were a bit too high, because while I do really enjoy this game, a prettier coat of paint isn't gonna gaslight me into preferring this over something like LLS (my beloved). Plus, while I am not letting this issue affect my rating, I'd like to mention the headache this game brought on to me:
So, it was my first run, and I got about halfway through Stage 3, when suddenly, my left arrow key stopped working. Granted, this seems to be a common issue with a lot of Touhou games and I have experienced it a few times in the older games as well, but I could usually fix it relatively quickly. This time, nothing I did worked. I restarted the game, my PC, updated my drivers, cleaned the socket for the key, and still no dice. This is a problem that also persisted outside of the game, though. I was starting to think the switch died or something, but every once in a while, it would decide to work again for a bit, and then die again. After not touching it for a few hours, I came back. and everything was working normally. I got to the final boss aaaaaand... the key stopped working again.
I was able to brute force my way to victory with the harder to use num pad, but I guess my point is: If it turns out that I need to replace my keyboard, it'd be kind of funny to say it was because of Touhou.
So, it was my first run, and I got about halfway through Stage 3, when suddenly, my left arrow key stopped working. Granted, this seems to be a common issue with a lot of Touhou games and I have experienced it a few times in the older games as well, but I could usually fix it relatively quickly. This time, nothing I did worked. I restarted the game, my PC, updated my drivers, cleaned the socket for the key, and still no dice. This is a problem that also persisted outside of the game, though. I was starting to think the switch died or something, but every once in a while, it would decide to work again for a bit, and then die again. After not touching it for a few hours, I came back. and everything was working normally. I got to the final boss aaaaaand... the key stopped working again.
I was able to brute force my way to victory with the harder to use num pad, but I guess my point is: If it turns out that I need to replace my keyboard, it'd be kind of funny to say it was because of Touhou.
Admittedly, I feel very out of place within the player base for this game. As is already known, a lot of people hyped this up, hoping to relive part of their childhood in a shiny new coat of paint. I never managed to play the original, though. Honestly, it’s kind of hard to understand why. I’ve always been fond of the show. I was probably too busy playing whatever random licensed games my parents happened to come across. As such, I have no way to compare the original with this, but regardless, I was pleasantly surprised.
I’ve played a good handful of 3D platformers throughout the years. They’re good fun, but usually don’t do anything too special for me to get heavily invested in. This one is no exception. It’s a perfectly competent game. Functional controls, fun (if a bit annoying at times) platforming, and the collectibles offer a good balance between easily feasible and tricky to find/collect. The boss battles were also a great joy for the most part (Flying Dutchman's fight was way too easy). In the end though, the main draw here is that it’s a Spongebob game. Most importantly, it’s a Spongebob game from an era long gone. Back when licensed games were still a plenty, and you could still find some quality among the surplus of them.
The charm of the show and its humor are heavily prevalent here, especially in dialogue. Patrick’s inherent stupidity is especially worth a chuckle. The developers of this remake even went out of their way to add hilarious idle animations for Spongebob tied to meme culture. Just wanted to point it out, as it got a good laugh out of me. Aside from that, the graphical overhaul is great. I did my research by looking at original footage, and I’d say they did an excellent job in recreating the visual charm in a more polished package. I can’t speak for long-time fan of the original, but as a newcomer, I recommend this to anyone who grew up with the show and even people who are just looking for a quirky collect-a-thon.
*As a side note, there were some bugs present. None of them were game-breaking, but it was weird to see the water glitching out on some occasions (particularly in Goo Lagoon). There was even a glitch that worked to my benefit near the end of the game. There’s an objective in the Kelp Forest stage where you must find 6 “campers,” but for whatever reason, I got the reward and achievement associated with it after only finding one. Mind you, I played this on PS4, so I’m not sure how the bugs compare to other consoles or PC. There were other minor bugs, but none of them hindered my experience.
I’ve played a good handful of 3D platformers throughout the years. They’re good fun, but usually don’t do anything too special for me to get heavily invested in. This one is no exception. It’s a perfectly competent game. Functional controls, fun (if a bit annoying at times) platforming, and the collectibles offer a good balance between easily feasible and tricky to find/collect. The boss battles were also a great joy for the most part (Flying Dutchman's fight was way too easy). In the end though, the main draw here is that it’s a Spongebob game. Most importantly, it’s a Spongebob game from an era long gone. Back when licensed games were still a plenty, and you could still find some quality among the surplus of them.
The charm of the show and its humor are heavily prevalent here, especially in dialogue. Patrick’s inherent stupidity is especially worth a chuckle. The developers of this remake even went out of their way to add hilarious idle animations for Spongebob tied to meme culture. Just wanted to point it out, as it got a good laugh out of me. Aside from that, the graphical overhaul is great. I did my research by looking at original footage, and I’d say they did an excellent job in recreating the visual charm in a more polished package. I can’t speak for long-time fan of the original, but as a newcomer, I recommend this to anyone who grew up with the show and even people who are just looking for a quirky collect-a-thon.
*As a side note, there were some bugs present. None of them were game-breaking, but it was weird to see the water glitching out on some occasions (particularly in Goo Lagoon). There was even a glitch that worked to my benefit near the end of the game. There’s an objective in the Kelp Forest stage where you must find 6 “campers,” but for whatever reason, I got the reward and achievement associated with it after only finding one. Mind you, I played this on PS4, so I’m not sure how the bugs compare to other consoles or PC. There were other minor bugs, but none of them hindered my experience.
2005
*Played the Ultimate HD version with M+KB controls after giving it a fair shot with a controller. Neither option is significantly better or worse than the other for this game, but I felt like I could adjust to the M+KB controls quicker.
But with that out of the way... What the hell Capcom? Actually, no. What the hell RE fans? This is the masterpiece of the series? The cream of the crop? The one that some insane people say is the only one worth playing? Maybe... if your idea of fun is being surrounded by 20 enemies in a tiny ass room/corridor where you can't even aim while running. And no, I'm not blaming the game or the devs. This was 2005 afterall, and they were still experimenting. But man, did it take me wayyy too long to get used to. In fact, I don't think I ever truly "got used" to the controls.
In a sense, this can be considered a positive. This is single-handedly the most stressful experience I have had with a game. Between the sometimes-insane number of enemies, awkward controls, and awful QTE's that are a product of its time, there were definitely plenty of moments that had my heart racing a million miles a minute and kept me sweating, just hoping that I don't get killed before I reach the next checkpoint. There was an especially awful sequence on a mine cart in Chapter 4 that takes what feels like forever, just to die at the end to a random QTE I did not expect.
While it may seem like I hate this game, something kept me playing (albeit with long breaks). Between the goofy ass story and overwhelming sense of relief and satisfaction I get from making progress, I can still say I had quite a bit of fun. Don't get me wrong, I still prefer the PS1-era games, and I do blame RE4 for taking the series in a direction I really didn't like (sorry, but RE5 and 6 are just awful). However, I think that it does what it sets out to do well enough and with minimal hard stumbles given how long it is compared to your average RE game.
I would sooner replay any of the classic PS1 titles than ever touch this game again, if only for how much anxiety I endured playing through it. But while I wasn't crazy about it, it was still a very memorable experience. With the RE2 remake being my 2nd favorite game in the franchise (with the original RE2 being my favorite), I am eager for the RE4 remake to hopefully fix most of the issues I had with this one and deliver a true masterpiece in my eyes.
But with that out of the way... What the hell Capcom? Actually, no. What the hell RE fans? This is the masterpiece of the series? The cream of the crop? The one that some insane people say is the only one worth playing? Maybe... if your idea of fun is being surrounded by 20 enemies in a tiny ass room/corridor where you can't even aim while running. And no, I'm not blaming the game or the devs. This was 2005 afterall, and they were still experimenting. But man, did it take me wayyy too long to get used to. In fact, I don't think I ever truly "got used" to the controls.
In a sense, this can be considered a positive. This is single-handedly the most stressful experience I have had with a game. Between the sometimes-insane number of enemies, awkward controls, and awful QTE's that are a product of its time, there were definitely plenty of moments that had my heart racing a million miles a minute and kept me sweating, just hoping that I don't get killed before I reach the next checkpoint. There was an especially awful sequence on a mine cart in Chapter 4 that takes what feels like forever, just to die at the end to a random QTE I did not expect.
While it may seem like I hate this game, something kept me playing (albeit with long breaks). Between the goofy ass story and overwhelming sense of relief and satisfaction I get from making progress, I can still say I had quite a bit of fun. Don't get me wrong, I still prefer the PS1-era games, and I do blame RE4 for taking the series in a direction I really didn't like (sorry, but RE5 and 6 are just awful). However, I think that it does what it sets out to do well enough and with minimal hard stumbles given how long it is compared to your average RE game.
I would sooner replay any of the classic PS1 titles than ever touch this game again, if only for how much anxiety I endured playing through it. But while I wasn't crazy about it, it was still a very memorable experience. With the RE2 remake being my 2nd favorite game in the franchise (with the original RE2 being my favorite), I am eager for the RE4 remake to hopefully fix most of the issues I had with this one and deliver a true masterpiece in my eyes.
1995
Replaying the first Dream Land game got me in the mood to replay the sequel as well. And gosh darnit, it's actually quite a bit better than I remember. You actually get more than 5 stages this time! Like, a lot more. Already that's a big plus one over the original, which was a decent game but was severely held back by its lack of content. Dream Land 2 is still a short game, but it's about on par with what you would expect from a Game Boy platformer.
The copy ability which was absent in the first game is now here to stay, which is nice and all, but it's not as cool as the animal buddies that were introduced here. These are the reason the game is sometimes a real blast. If you can hold onto Rick (the hamster) or Coo (the owl), you will be golden. Kine is a nice fish, but he's only really useful underwater. Once you're out of water, get rid of him, because he will most certainly get you killed.
Initially, I was dead set on giving this game a 7. I was enjoying my time with it quite a bit. Nice, simple fun. But that changed once I got to Level 5. Some of the stages here and in the next 2 levels have some really annoying level design that is sure to screw you over not once, or even twice, but possibly multiple times. I distinctly remember 5-2 and 5-5 having a horrible auto-scrolling portion that ate through my lives. But not all of the stages in the latter half are terrible, and most have some merit to them. There are just more difficult sections sprinkled throughout them. If it wasn't for this erratic tedium I encountered, the game would have been even better. But as it stands, it's definitely an improvement over DL1, and certainly better than any of the Mario Land games on Gameboy.
By the way, while not exactly a trend, I hate how this game initiated the concept of locking the true final boss behind 100% collectibles for Kirby games. Like, can you not? Thankfully, there's only 7 thinga-majigs here. Gee, I sure hope Dream Land 3 doesn't have as many, either... oh...
The copy ability which was absent in the first game is now here to stay, which is nice and all, but it's not as cool as the animal buddies that were introduced here. These are the reason the game is sometimes a real blast. If you can hold onto Rick (the hamster) or Coo (the owl), you will be golden. Kine is a nice fish, but he's only really useful underwater. Once you're out of water, get rid of him, because he will most certainly get you killed.
Initially, I was dead set on giving this game a 7. I was enjoying my time with it quite a bit. Nice, simple fun. But that changed once I got to Level 5. Some of the stages here and in the next 2 levels have some really annoying level design that is sure to screw you over not once, or even twice, but possibly multiple times. I distinctly remember 5-2 and 5-5 having a horrible auto-scrolling portion that ate through my lives. But not all of the stages in the latter half are terrible, and most have some merit to them. There are just more difficult sections sprinkled throughout them. If it wasn't for this erratic tedium I encountered, the game would have been even better. But as it stands, it's definitely an improvement over DL1, and certainly better than any of the Mario Land games on Gameboy.
By the way, while not exactly a trend, I hate how this game initiated the concept of locking the true final boss behind 100% collectibles for Kirby games. Like, can you not? Thankfully, there's only 7 thinga-majigs here. Gee, I sure hope Dream Land 3 doesn't have as many, either... oh...