Since I'm no longer a gamer and my opinions mean nothing anymore (not that they ever did), I'm just going to come out and say it: Kirby's Adventure is one of the worst experiences I have had playing a video game to completion.

I first finished Kirby's Dreamland about 8 years ago. It was ridiculously short, and that was mainly its issue. I still had a decent time with it, but its length and simplicity made for a mediocre game at best. Kirby's Adventure's existence honestly baffles me. This came out over 2 years after the Super Famicom had already launched. They had the chance to innovate greatly on the original, which was severely limited by the hardware it was released on, but they basically did a repeat of that with MUCH WORSE results.

This game introduced the series staple of copying enemy abilities by eating them. Combining two allows you to make a new "power combo." I think I only ever did this once because playing this game is a constant struggle. The controls are atrocious, which are made worse by the severe slowdown throughout the entire game. Most of the time I took a hit in this game is because I tried inhaling or attacking an enemy and the controls would just fail me. Either nothing happens, or I start floating and become vulnerable. Not being able to inhale enemies while floating is such an annoying mechanic because of how slow you are. Always getting hit meant I could never hold onto one ability for long to have much fun, let alone combine two. Boss fights were especially grueling, and by the time I got to Level 7, I just couldn't be bothered anymore with the mini boss gauntlet. I had to use the Game Genie infinite energy cheat so I can finally get it over with.

Level 7-6 was a breath of fresh air because, like the Gameboy original, it's in black and white (minus Kirby himself). You know why I liked that level? Because it didn't run at 10 FPS. Seriously, if they had just made the whole game black and white, I'm sure I would have had a much better time. The slowdown is just that bad. The final boss was also kinda cool (well, Phase 1 at least). It becomes a side scrolling shooter of sorts, and not having to control Kirby with the floating controls was a brief, but much appreciated blessing. And then Phase 2 starts. Phase 2 sucks. The whole game sucks. And believe me, I feel bad saying that. There's definitely a lot of charm to this game and the series in general. It's definitely one of the best-looking games on the NES, but that doesn't mean much when I barely get any enjoyment out of it.

I can't help but feel like this game is just setting me up for disappointment. This is the 8th Kirby title I've played, and after not really loving the others (and downright hating a couple), this game was a breath of fresh air. In a somewhat ironic twist, I wasn't even aware of this game's existence until a couple of weeks ago when I watched a couple of Kirby series rankings videos on Youtube — both of which placed this at #1. Well, that settled it. I had to try this one next.

And yeah, it's pretty great. The whole mech-suit gimmick is actually pretty well-utilized and makes controlling Kirby an absolute blast. I especially loved the stages that turn into a side-scrolling space shooter section. Oh! And the stages where your mech transforms into a car and you can speed through it. There's just a lot of creativity going on here which I adore. And I know that's not necessarily exclusive to this game. Even with the early titles, there was indeed some noticeable thought going into the level design. This is just the first time I play a Kirby game where that creativity feels fully realized and in-sync with an enjoyable gameplay experience.

But as I said earlier, I can't help but feel like I'm being set up for disappointment; because if this is truly the peak of the franchise, then I may be hard-pressed to ever really consider myself a Kirby fan. It only took me about 5 hours to get through the game casually. It certainly doesn't overstay its welcome, but I was left wanting a bit more. But that may just be a "me" problem due to the sheer amount of 2D platformers I've played over the years. At the end of the day, this is just a really solid "pick up and play" kind of game and nothing more, but that's to be expected of the series (and Nintendo 2D platformers in general for that matter). I'll be sure to check out the bonus sub-game "Meta Knightmare Returns" at a later date. In the meantime, I do hope I wasn't spoiled and that I can come across plenty of more games in this franchise of similar quality or better.

Replaying Kirby's Dream Land made me realize just how ambitious the original release of Kirby's Adventure actually was. If you don't already know, I wrote a very negative review of that game. It was a miserable experience that mainly stemmed from its annoyingly frequent slowdown which made the game a lot harder than it was actually meant to be.

Dream Land is Kirby's actual first adventure, and despite only featuring 5 levels and being able to complete it in around 20 minutes, it's still a fun game. It's incredibly simple, with Kirby's now standard copy ability being absent here. This simplicity and almost non-existant difficulty, along with its short length, is the reason I don't rate it any higher. But still, let it be known that I enjoy it. If this game had the severe level of slowdown that Kirby's Adventure had, I have no doubt I would despise it. But it's made me very curious to give the 3D Classics version of Adventure a shot, since it apparently fixed the slowdown. Yes folks, there is hope yet for my sinful hot take on Kirby's NES outing.

But really, this was a nice game to wind down with before bed. Goodnight Kirby. I shall now enter my own dream land.

Replaying the first Dream Land game got me in the mood to replay the sequel as well. And gosh darnit, it's actually quite a bit better than I remember. You actually get more than 5 stages this time! Like, a lot more. Already that's a big plus one over the original, which was a decent game but was severely held back by its lack of content. Dream Land 2 is still a short game, but it's about on par with what you would expect from a Game Boy platformer.

The copy ability which was absent in the first game is now here to stay, which is nice and all, but it's not as cool as the animal buddies that were introduced here. These are the reason the game is sometimes a real blast. If you can hold onto Rick (the hamster) or Coo (the owl), you will be golden. Kine is a nice fish, but he's only really useful underwater. Once you're out of water, get rid of him, because he will most certainly get you killed.

Initially, I was dead set on giving this game a 7. I was enjoying my time with it quite a bit. Nice, simple fun. But that changed once I got to Level 5. Some of the stages here and in the next 2 levels have some really annoying level design that is sure to screw you over not once, or even twice, but possibly multiple times. I distinctly remember 5-2 and 5-5 having a horrible auto-scrolling portion that ate through my lives. But not all of the stages in the latter half are terrible, and most have some merit to them. There are just more difficult sections sprinkled throughout them. If it wasn't for this erratic tedium I encountered, the game would have been even better. But as it stands, it's definitely an improvement over DL1, and certainly better than any of the Mario Land games on Gameboy.

By the way, while not exactly a trend, I hate how this game initiated the concept of locking the true final boss behind 100% collectibles for Kirby games. Like, can you not? Thankfully, there's only 7 thinga-majigs here. Gee, I sure hope Dream Land 3 doesn't have as many, either... oh...

This is the worst of the Game Boy Mario Land titles. Wario controls about as well as you'd expect a fat old fart to control. He's slow, heavy, and frankly not much fun to play as. I understand that they were trying something new, but it just doesn't work for me. It's kind of insulting that this is even called SML3. Should have just been its own thing, but I'm sure that that title guaranteed more sales. After all, who the hell was Wario?

Apart from the sluggish gameplay, some of the level design here is just down-right annoying. I'd give some specific examples, but I've forgotten most of everything that I experienced because it was boring, and I slogged through it all right before heading to work. Needless to say, I felt pretty dead during the whole shift. I hope the sequels manage to turn things around for me.

Reasons Why Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Sucks:

- A slow start that takes way too long to pick up
- An overabundance of tutorials that don't even do a good job of explaining the game's mechanics
- Navigation is often confusing due to lack of proper elevation markers
- Gacha mechanics in a $60 single player game???
- Menus are too clunky and slow for the amount of Blade management and customization that you'll be doing
- Story progression is sometimes tied to an annoying skill upgrade system
- Rex won't shut up about the power of friendship
- Tora is a creep-ass pervert who is a poor replacement for the superior Heropon Riki
- Zeke didn't get enough screen time
- Melia is not in the game
- Pyra's chest is too big

Reasons Why Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Doesn't Actually Suck:

- Combat is a major upgrade from the first Xenoblade game (once it clicks, at least)
- Side quests have been greatly improved as well
- The world is expansive and beautiful (Switch limitations aside)
- The music, bro...
- I cried
- Stockholm syndrome, I guess
- I would die for almost anyone in the main cast
- Definitely Stockholm syndrome

*Played the Ultimate HD version with M+KB controls after giving it a fair shot with a controller. Neither option is significantly better or worse than the other for this game, but I felt like I could adjust to the M+KB controls quicker.

But with that out of the way... What the hell Capcom? Actually, no. What the hell RE fans? This is the masterpiece of the series? The cream of the crop? The one that some insane people say is the only one worth playing? Maybe... if your idea of fun is being surrounded by 20 enemies in a tiny ass room/corridor where you can't even aim while running. And no, I'm not blaming the game or the devs. This was 2005 afterall, and they were still experimenting. But man, did it take me wayyy too long to get used to. In fact, I don't think I ever truly "got used" to the controls.

In a sense, this can be considered a positive. This is single-handedly the most stressful experience I have had with a game. Between the sometimes-insane number of enemies, awkward controls, and awful QTE's that are a product of its time, there were definitely plenty of moments that had my heart racing a million miles a minute and kept me sweating, just hoping that I don't get killed before I reach the next checkpoint. There was an especially awful sequence on a mine cart in Chapter 4 that takes what feels like forever, just to die at the end to a random QTE I did not expect.

While it may seem like I hate this game, something kept me playing (albeit with long breaks). Between the goofy ass story and overwhelming sense of relief and satisfaction I get from making progress, I can still say I had quite a bit of fun. Don't get me wrong, I still prefer the PS1-era games, and I do blame RE4 for taking the series in a direction I really didn't like (sorry, but RE5 and 6 are just awful). However, I think that it does what it sets out to do well enough and with minimal hard stumbles given how long it is compared to your average RE game.

I would sooner replay any of the classic PS1 titles than ever touch this game again, if only for how much anxiety I endured playing through it. But while I wasn't crazy about it, it was still a very memorable experience. With the RE2 remake being my 2nd favorite game in the franchise (with the original RE2 being my favorite), I am eager for the RE4 remake to hopefully fix most of the issues I had with this one and deliver a true masterpiece in my eyes.

Between this and Breath of the Wild, the Nintendo Switch was a disappointing console around launch, as far as first party exclusives go. I know I already upset a lot of people by saying that. But look, I love me some Mario, and Zelda is one of my favorite franchises in gaming. I might end up enjoying BOTW in time, but I haven't been able to play more than 2 hours yet before losing interest. But I'm getting off topic. We can save that for the BOTW review in a year or two, hopefully.

Anyway, Odyssey is a good game. In fact, I'd say it's a great game. There's definitely a lot of creativity oozing here, as I have come to expect from the 3D Mario titles. Beautiful locales, a charming soundtrack, fun boss fights, and the overabundance of cool secrets to discover makes for a very engaging game. But my main problem with Odyssey is just how lacking in purpose it feels with its collectibles.

A game like Galaxy, with its more mission focused structure when it comes to collectibles, makes it feel like you are constantly making progress and overcoming challenges. I don't really feel this way with Odyssey. You have these large, gorgeous, and vibrant kingdoms to explore, which undoubtedly feels good to do so, especially with Mario's varied move set and handling. But with so many moons to collect in the game (836 with post-game content), you will come across quite a lot with little effort. Ironically enough, eventually it will just start to feel like a chore. This is definitely a game that I don't feel compelled to 100% despite still having a lot of fun with. Galaxy on the other hand, I could definitely see myself completing fully.

Call me old-school, but I prefer my platformers to be more linear. Because of this, my favorite parts usually consisted of the special red and gold hat doors (and rockets) that transport you to separate smaller levels that usually only have 1 or 2 moons. And to be honest, most of the ones I came across were fairly simple, but they felt like a nice break from the large-scale scavenger hunt. Odyssey obviously has a formula that works and pleases a lot of people, but it's definitely not the ideal 3D Mario experience I was hoping for.

I knew it would be bad. Everyone said it was. And yet, what is it about surefire disappointment that allures me so? I've been really getting into the Tales series, and after recently finishing Zestiria and really enjoying it despite its glaring flaws, I was feeling a little quirky. I think it's not so much that Tempest gets a lot of bad rep, but just so the fact that not many people outside of Japan played it. Anything to join an elite (but useless) club just for a small sense of trite accomplishment. Was it worth it? Well, sort of.

This is a truly fascinating game. I mean, just the fact that it manages to be a whole lot of nothing. I just finished this game, and I honestly couldn't even begin to properly summarize what happened despite its ridiculously short length of only 10 hours. The most I got from the story is... SPOILERS: MC's dad is a furry.

True story, that is. Outside of the generally uninteresting story, the characters rarely get a chance to develop, especially with the absence of skits, which is a crying shame in a Tales title. Some of the older titles excluded, characters are a big part of what makes the series so enjoyable, and skits really enhance that aspect. Tempest sort of has a replacement in the form of "campfire breaks" that only really happen at specific moments in the story, and a few optional ones when using a tent at certain points, but none of these are very interesting, either.

Story is a bust. Characters are also a bust. Well, how about gameplay? It's surprisingly OK! And by that I mean it's not terrible enough to put me to sleep at least. It's a fairly simple battle system, but it gets the job done, I feel. The main issue here is the godawful encounter rate that makes getting from Point A to Point B a slog half the time. Oh, and the whole game save for the final boss is extremely easy. Just have fun dealing with the stupid AI which refuses to heal you half the time you need it.

All around, everything about this game is kinda stinky. Even the UI for the menus is terrible. Clunky and unintuitive navigation makes switching out gear more tedious than it needs to be. Still, as I said earlier, finishing this was sort of worth it. It was kind of cozy to play. Brain off. Right thumb mashing that attack button. Laughing at the jank and the insipid story; especially the two hilariously dumb plot twists that occur later in the game. The game was short enough that it didn't overstay its welcome (too much), and it was honestly pretty cool to check out this obscure piece of Tales history in the spirit of getting more into the series. It's not an offensively bad game, just boring, and definitely not worthy of being branded as a "Tales of" title. After all the negative reception it garnered, it makes sense why they decided to reclassify this as a spin-off.

My sin is not having played this earlier.

My punishment is sitting at my PC for half an hour trying to come up with a review, but the words just don't come to me.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that didn't understand what the hell transpired in this game. It doesn't matter, though; enemies go boom.

I'm so done listening to the popular opinion when it comes to established franchises. It's not about being a contrarian, but it just so happens that there have been multiple instances of me finding enjoyment in games that others seem to dislike to varying degrees. Let's see, there's: Final Fantasy XIII and Type-0, Mega Man 1, Tales of Zestiria, Need for Speed (2015), Corpse Party: Blood Drive, etc. Add this to the list of games I think don't deserve the hate.

"Play Dawn of Ys instead." I mean, I will, eventually. I wanna get through the entire Ys series eventually, but I already had a SNES emulator ready to go so I played this one first. Despite the general negativity surrounding this game, I went in with no expectations and I came out pleasantly surprised, and frankly a bit saddened to know not many people like it as much as I do. Ys I + II provided the framework. Two very solid games that mainly suffer from some obtuse map design and the occasional bullshit boss (if you know, you know). But Mask of the Sun does away with most of the annoyances I endured in those games and provides a more straightforward adventure with what I think is a slightly more competent plot. The bosses are for sure a lot weaker here, though.

Of course, I can't pretend that the game isn't somewhat janky with its gameplay. For one, you can only move in four directions, which took some getting used to after having been accustomed to the fluidity of Ys I + II. The hitboxes are kinda messed up too, but I barely noticed it save for a couple of specific enemy encounters. Bumping into enemies still felt good and the typical grind-fest that is known of these early Ys games was therapeutic here. And yes, the final dungeon is still a somewhat confusing/tedious maze but, give me this over Ys II's Solomon Shrine any day.

I think Mask of the Sun is an unfortunate case of being undermined by its more well-known and popular sister game. It's a really short game (like most of the early Ys games), and I believe that alone is a fair excuse to check it out, because I really do think it's nowhere near as bad as people say. It's a hidden gem among the vast Super Famicom JRPG library and makes for a fairly compact palette cleanser in-between much longer JRPGs.

Now that I've finished both routes, I have to commend the developer for mostly succeeding at making a DMC-style action game that feels competent enough to be fun despite some janky movement. But that's mainly all this game has going for it.

Story? Throwaway drivel.
Level design? Pretty much nonexistent.
Enemy variety? Severely lacking.

I can't say that the developer didn't try but, playing through this just made me wish I was playing DMC instead, or even Bayonetta. If you can ignore the plot and are looking for something to scratch that hack-n-slash itch, I can just barely recommend it at a heavy discount.

P.S. The second to last boss of Amelia's route is built different. I'd rather beat Orphan of Kos again.

When I first gave this a shot many years ago, I felt very indifferent about it. For people who know me, it's no secret that a lot of the older FPS games I've played tend to get me motion sick. It may be a result of low FOV or low-res graphics. It just depends on the game, really. DOOM made me nauseous with its mix of pixelated graphics (which were no doubt impressive for its time), and maze-like level design that had me wanting to projectile vomit as I turned the same corner for the 10th time, completely lost.

Little did my dumbass younger self know, the game has a map! I recently decided to give this another shot, and after switching to a 4:3 aspect ratio and learning of said map, I was off, and I could not stop. Something about this game just works in a way that not even the 2016 reboot did for me (which I loved). I already knew just how influential this game was for the FPS genre, but I didn't really get it until now. Absolute peak level design, and with satisfyingly simple gameplay. Using the shotgun for most of my first run was pure ecstasy. These shotgun blasts felt somehow punchier and more satisfying than using any weapon in the modern DOOM games. I can already see myself replaying this every once in a while for funsies while trying new loadouts and hunting for more secrets.

It's raw, it's unhinged, it's freakin' DOOM, baby!

The Shores of Hell > Knee-Deep in the Dead > Inferno