Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze is a fucking masterpiece.


This game is a work of art, a masterpiece from beginning to end, as a sequel to Returns it improves and every category, the levels are even more explosive, daring, and far more unique, the game looks fucking incredible, even better than how beautiful returns was, the soundtrack is even more peak shit, all of it was absolutely beautiful, and the controls are basically perfect.

The levels in Returns were already really good, but god damn they’ve been improved here tenfold, every level is brimming with personality and creativity, I can say this, the previous games have all had at least like a few levels that were not really that good, but there is not a single bad level in this game, not even a single mediocre one in it either, they’re all great.
There is never a moment in this game where the fun dies down, not only are level themes and general worlds improved and much more varied, even the mine cart and rocket barrel levels are really fun, the game just never loses your attention.
The controls are vastly improved here from Returns, gone is any bullshit with Wii remote controls, now you can play like a normal person and it’s great, controls are tight and precise while still carrying that same DKC weight that all these games have had.
In the switch version, there’s also Funky Kong, and he controls wonderfully, they did not need to go that hard for what is essentially an easy mode character, like he controls so well that we could easily have a whole game designed around him.

It also helps that in terms of the visuals, this is by far one of the best looking 2D platformers ever made, and in my opinion, one of the best looking games ever made, it has style, it has grace, and a good amount of the enemies have a funny face.
Every level is brought to life with just how damn good the game looks, even when levels have the same theme, they are made distinct thanks to just how good they can look.

The soundtrack man, THE SOUNDTRACK, David wise returned here and it shows, every single level has the funkiest music you can imagine, the water levels especially GOD DAMN, it adds more atmosphere to everything, just like the og trilogy.

My complaints for this game are very minimal honestly, even though I do like the variety with your kong buddies, Dixie is just the objectively best one, her little float and upward movement is much better than Diddy’s hover, Cranky is unique enough to be his own thing and I’ve seen speed runners do crazy shit with him, but I always just stuck with Dixie.
Another complaint is that, while they are better and more dynamic than they were in returns, the bosses are still just decent at best, and both games final bosses are a far cry from K. Rool and his multiple alter egos.

Those gripes though just absolutely can’t take away from how great this game is, it’s incredibly fun all the way through and not only is it easily one of Nintendo’s best games, not only is it my favorite 2D platformer, it’s also one of my personal favorite games of all time.


And so ends the DK series, you know, considering that games like Metroid and Pikmin have made a comeback on the switch, I think it’s time for Donkey Kong to make his comeback, just make K. Rool and the kremlings the main villains again, it was nice to have some new villains but I also think it’s time for them to make their return.

And after basically 14 years without a DKC game, Nintendo suddenly blessed us with this game.


Donkey Kong Country Returns is a fantastic game, the levels are great, the game looks fucking beautiful, the soundtrack is another absolute masterpiece, the game is just so good.

The amount of shit that can happen in just one level is insane, you can start off at a nice normal pace, then you’ll be blasting yourself out of barrels and completely destroying ancient ruins in the blink of an eye, shit is wild, and this energy is kept all throughout the game.

Speaking of, the game looks beautiful, so many little details in the animation of things, the way levels are structured so there are no random floating platforms, it makes the world feel so much more natural, and it makes you feel like you’re a god damn ape.

And of course, the soundtrack, a complete fucking bop, every level every boss every thing has an absolute jam of a soundtrack behind it, keeping this game every bit as funky as the og trilogy.

This game does have one problem, now the controls, they are great, Donkey Kong’s weight is really felt in gameplay, the way they use Diddy more as a companion who makes your life easier is much better than the original games where the secondary character is just there, the roll has been improved in terms of motion, the blowing mechanic is neat, and the beating on the ground is pretty funny and fun to do………….now here’s where the problem is, those last three thing I mentioned are locked behind the forced Wii remote waggle system, and it’s like legitimately insane, WHO THE DECIDED THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.
Now admittedly the beating on the ground and just punching the shit out of bosses after you beat them is pretty cathartic with the waggle, I don’t mind the motion controls being used there, but who in the fuck decided to lock the roll behind it, it’s almost a necessary move to get through some levels and bosses, and you need to waggle the controller every time, like why not just use the B button?

Now the thing with the motion controls is that they can easily be fixed, the 3Ds version allows you to play like a normal human being by actually making it so that you play with buttons, so I could definitely see a switch port of this game doing the same, with that said, if it’s technically a minor gripe, then why don’t I give this game a five star?
Well the answer is pretty simple, it’s actually a pretty similar reason with why I gave portal 1 only a 4.5, and it comes down to this: the game’s sequel did literally almost everything exponentially better, and speak of the devil.

The next (and final) game I’m gonna play for this DK marathon is Donkey Kong Country: Tropica Freeze.

Holy shit


After the nightmare of the caves in Pikmin 2, Pikmin 3 is such a breath of fresh air, it took nine years for this game to come out and man it shows.
Pikmin 3 basically improves on almost everything from the previous 2 games, ok yeah some small things the first two games did better, like the story and the characters I liked better in first two……….that’s about it.
Can I just say, the new Pikmin they added are excellent, I didn’t much care for the white and purple Pikmin in Pikmin 2, but I adore the rock and flying Pikmin in this game, they feel much more well rounded and are used more throughout the game, in fact unlike Pikmin 2 where a lot of things could be made obsolete by the purple Pikmin, in this game everything is balanced, rock Pikmin are powerful but they can’t latch onto things, and flying Pikmin can more easily traverse areas but are weak in combat, the balance here is wonderful.
Speaking of combat, it’s been greatly improved here, the lock on is nice and in general you have more control over your Pikmin, there’s a few new enemies to face off against, but what I really want to talk about are the bosses, holy fuck.
These bosses are great, the sheer scale and size of all of them makes the battles feel far more impactful, the first fight with the armored worm thing is so nice, the bat thing in the cave is admittedly pretty easy but also fun, the sandworm thing is a great use of area effects with the constantly changing terrain and it’s satisfying to see this thing launch out of the ground after hitting it enough, the flying bug thing is neat, the fucking plant rock boss in the mud is just gargantuan, like holy shit, I was taken aback by it, and then there’s the plasm wraith, I’ll get to this boss in a bit though.
Oh my god, can I just please talk about the graphics man, they’re fucking beautiful, the first two games look good but oh my goodness, this is next level shit, the way everything looks just immerses you more into the world, which just makes it even better.
I also did both of Olimar’s side adventures, these were pretty neat, Olimar’s assignment was a nice short and simple way of showing us how Olimar explored the planet and ended up getting captured by the Plasm Wraith, and Olimar’s comeback is a nice epilogue to close out the game on.
Before I move on to the final part, let me address my two problems with this game, 1. It’s a little too easy, I mean I know I complained about 2 being hard as shit, but like that was just bullshit difficulty with all the bombs and rocks falling from the ceiling, here though, man it’s just way too easy, even the bosses go down quick (plasm wraith being an exception of course), and this leads to my other problem, 2. The game is very short, it took me like maybe 4-5 hours to beat the main stuff, maybe an extra hour or two for the missing fruit I collected and the Olimar stuff, but it’s just short man, though I guess I prefer the short and sweet route compared to the overstays its welcome route (looking at you Pikmin 2).

Now, the final level, the formidable oak, easily the best part of the game and maybe the whole series, it blends everything we love about Pikmin perfectly together, it takes some of the good elements of the caves in Pikmin 2 like the multiple layers, but adds a lot more atmosphere here, the plasm wraith feels like an excellent upgrade from the water wraith, the puzzles are more complex than some of the ones seen before, it utilizes the three captains really well, it’s long enough to be challenging but doesn’t overstay its welcome, and it all caps off with a fantastic final boss, much like the titan dweevil, it uses all elements to combat you, but adds a twist with the whole bringing down the wraith into pieces and destroying the individual pieces, also electricity doesn’t insta kill every non yellow Pikmin in the game, so that’s a plus, made the titan dweevil fight very annoying.
After all that, you get a nice ending cutscene with Olimar thanking you for rescuing him, you leave as the plasm wraith screams at your ship, and that ends Pikmin 3………(also earlier there’s an extremely funny cutscene where Louie jumps out of your ship, steals all your food supply, runs offscreen, and fucking explodes, it’s so funny man).


So yeah, that’s Pikmin 3, an excellent adventure that just improves on everything the series has done, and it’s easily one of Nintendo’s best games, if Pikmin 4 can top this game, then holy fuck we’re in for something truly special.
Now one last thing before I finish this review off, I played this game once back in 2020 when it first came out on switch, and it’s weird cause I did not remember a fucking thing about the game when I replayed it this time, it’s kinda weird honestly, and since this basically a first playthrough for my brain, I’m just gonna put it on the 2023 list.


Now, we wait for Pikmin 4, just one more week and maybe the Pikmin subreddit will finally be normal again…………oh who am I kidding that place r/BatmanArkham on steroids.

Pikmin!



I’ve always been interested in playing this series, and shit there’s no better time than now to get into this series, with the release of Pikmin 1 and 2 on switch, Pikmin 3 deluxe already existing, and with Pikmin 4 just a few weeks away, Pikmin mania is here and it’s time for others to join.
Pikmin 1 is a short and sweet adventure, it’s a game full of life, wonder, and Pikmin getting massacred in the wild, seriously this game may look relaxing, but it’s the exact opposite, it’s a game about time management, being stranded on a planet and your only means of defense being little carrot looking creatures that come out of an onion.
The gameplay loop of Pikmin is very satisfying, the simple act of building up your army and slowly but surely getting the pieces to Olimar’s ship is super fun all the way through.
The enemies all have great designs, they’re very cute looking until they fucking eat or crush or throw your Pikmin, then they’re terrifying, the bosses are also pretty fun, admittedly kinda easy but they look pretty cool and can actually kill a ton of Pikmin if you’re careless.
The game’s whole nature setting adds to the game very well, the areas being kinda connected through a whole forest theme makes the world feel very real and layered.


Not much else to say, it’s a fun little game that can be very stress inducing at times, especially if you’re running out of time and are not very close to the ship, but it’s a very solid introduction to this franchise


Now onto Pikmin 2

Man, at worst I was expecting just plain ol bad for this game, but it’s so much worse than that.



Metroid Other M is a game that fails in almost every single category of being a Metroid game and even a game in general, gameplay that some potential but is disastrously tarnished by having to us just a fucking Wii remote sideways, an overall terrible area to explore with the fucking bottle ship, combat that’s extremely repetitive, any sense of exploration in discovery ruined by the stupid “authorization of items” system and of course waypoints on the map, and to top this shit cake off, a nice bit of piss icing with one of the worst stories I’ve ever seen in a video game, buckle up people, this is gonna be a long one.



Let’s talk about the controls, this is a game built to be action, a team ninja game, and to make a good action game, it requires a lot of buttons, but some fucking genius on the development team decided to have the whole game be controlled with just the Wii remote, not with the nunchuck, just the remote.
This game could’ve easily worked with the nunchuck, like going into first person by pressing Z, and you don’t have to worry about being stationary since you can move with the nunchuck, a ton of things could’ve been fixed but for some reason Sakamoto really wanted it on a Wii remote.
These problems extend to the combat and general gameplay, so let’s get to that.


Combat in this game is absolutely tedious, mostly thanks to the controls, but also cause of the general monotony of killing enemies, not only is it tedious, it’s also just pathetically easy thanks to the “dodge” you can do, which as long as you hit the move button, you’ll dodge an enemy attack, thanks to this dodge mechanic I was able to beat the game with only like 4 energy tanks in total, even fighting Phantoon was easy with the dodge.
Speaking of that, the bosses in this game are not super great, they are better than most of this game’s other stuff, Ridley is probably the only boss I really enjoyed a lot, Phantoon and Queen Metroid are alright, but the rest are just a bunch of jokes, the original bosses in this game are just pathetic, like the lava boss or the weird purple bug thing, and of course everyone’s favorite: construction equipment, and a lot of the returning bosses aren’t that great either, the game’s normal final boss is beyond pathetic considering it’s literally just shooting basic enemies with no challenge whatsoever, I would’ve been pissed if it weren’t for Phantoon being the true final boss that you can face after MB.
Easily one of the worst parts of this game is everything involving the first person camera, it’s super janky, it’s the only way you can use missiles and it makes them a pain to use in any combat scenario, and I absolutely hate every single one of those stupid parts where you’re forced to stay in first person and look for a little itty bitty detail on the screen and scan it, it was horrible every time it happened.


Well, you know, the combat is awful, but maybe the exploration and atmosphere can save the game………….HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA no.
I can just say right now that the bottle ship is easily the worst place you explore in the entire series and it’s not even close, the ship is nothing but constant hallways upon hallways upon hallways, then you reach some beautiful looking nature rooms and think this game will finally get cool and atmospheric, but it turns out these are also just disguised hallways, it’s awful, and there’s no excuse like “oh it’s on a ship and not a planet of course it’s going to be a bunch of hallways”, my answer to that is the BSL station on Fusion, in that game the station felt alive, it has that same sense of mystery and the atmosphere that the planets had while still just being a ship, there was no fake jungle or lava areas, all of it was real, so this game has no excuse feeling this boring to just look at.
Top that all off with the horrible choices with the controller and you got yourself a very bad Metroid game, and it just gets worse.


You want to know a thing I love about these games, finding cool new upgrades and using them in earlier sections you couldn’t access earlier, or just using them in general, it adds variety so things don’t get stale and you always feel like you’re getting rewarded for exploration………..and Other M completely throws that out the window, Samus has most of her items from the start, but thanks to some story and character stuff, she has to follow orders and can only use the items once authorized to by Adam……….this leads to many frustrating moments of trying to unlock something but you can’t cause Adam said you can’t, or the stupidest example is how you aren’t allowed to use the varia suit for half of the fire area, so you’ll be running through an area as fast as possible just so you don’t die from the heat, this is astronomically stupid, it doesn’t help gameplay and makes even less sense in the story, which HOLY FUCKING SHIT LET ME TALK ABOUT THAT.


I’ll start with the characters, all but one of them suck, and that includes Samus, let’s begin with her.
Samus is a cool silent badass, she’s badass in the early games and especially more badass with her characterization in Dread, that game makes it clear she’s not a mute protagonist, but one who just chooses not to speak, and when she does, she chooses to speak the chozo language, showing she has great respect for the ones who raised her.
Other M decided to look more in depth into Samus as a person, delve into her backstory and show how she became a badass……….instead this game decides not only to make her just look weak and pathetic, but actively ruins her character that was established in previous games, in this game Samus is almost like a clumsy soldier who gets taken down a lot by enemies way beneath her, one of the big ones is when the “mysterious creature” attacks her and pins her down, and instead of doing some kind of kick to get out or grabbing its mouth and just blasting it, she kinda just squirms under there and is only saved by one of her allies.
However, that part is no where near as egregious as the infamous scene you all know about, cause much like Puss in Boots 2 and the fucking paw patrol movie, samus has a completely devastating panic attack when she sees the Ridley clone………..do I even need to explain what’s wrong here, Samus has a panic attack seeing an enemy she’s already seen come back multiple times, and has defeated multiple times, sure Ridley killed her parents, but not once in the previous games she reacts like this, in fact, the most likely scenario that would go down here would go something like this:
Samus sees Ridley, shocked to see him alive again, she thinks of all Ridley has taken from her personally and gets enraged, turns on the plasma beam without adam’s authorization, jumps on Ridley and goes fucking apeshit on him for a few quick seconds, then the actual battle would begin, but instead we got samus passing out and being nearly killed by Ridley and only narrowly being saved by her ally……….you know, my favorite part about Samus is how she’s easily able to overcome stuff stacked very much against her, and all without help………..if I didn’t enjoy the Ridley battle I’d probably consider this the absolute worst thing I’ve seen in a video game, character writing wise at least, and it’s all horribly topped off with very wooden acting for Samus, cause silent ol Samus is a talker in thsi game, and trust me, every monologue from her is terrible and it’s not helped by the voice acting.
Now we have our little happy galactic federation bunch, and there’s only like three that have any actual plot relevance.
First is Anthony, I like Anthony, he’s so cool, plus the acting for him is pretty much the only actual good one in the game so there’s that.
Then there’s the deleter, this mysterious assassin among the group, the game builds up to who he is, he’s a side threat built up………..and then the game completely forgets about him, no joke, the game doesn’t tell you who the deleter is and after the meeting with MB, he’s never heard from again, it’s super dumb, and get this, his identity is actually revealed……….in the game’s guidebook, and only there, apparently it was the James guy or whatever, the one whos corpse you find on the way to the final part of the game.
And finally Adam, I fucking despise Adam in this game.
In Fusion, Adam was a simple posthumous character who samus deeply respected enough to make an AI reconstruction of him, and I liked what Adam was there, just a figure Samus looked up to and respected and nothing more, but Adam is in this game a lot, and he’s nowhere near the guy that Samus described in Fusion, here he’s just a generic field commander who feels like he talks down to Samus more than anything, it feels like he doesn’t respect her, he fucking shoots her at one point for whatever reason, and actively harms and halts her progress with the whole authorization thing, he’s also just a bad leader, his whole squadron dies and he just decides to kill himself, and the game tries to make you feel sad at that part but it just fails spectacularly. One last thing I hate about the English version of this game is how they handle the whole Adam calling Samus “lady” thing, it was just a one off line in Fusion but here it’s just weird, it feels like how a discord mod calls an underage girl his “kitten”, it’s super weird and kinda gross honestly (side note: I know this is different in the Japanese version where Samus actively hates the name unlike the English version where she embraces it, but it’s just super weird nonetheless).
Then there’s the game main antagonist, MB, she has almost no presence in the game, does really nothing in the game, they try to give some sappy backstory for her about how she’s an AI who gained emotions or something, like fuck no game I’m not feeling sympathy for the AI recreation of the fucking leader of a terrorist organization who tried to terrorize the entire universe with Metroids twice.
None of these characters are helped in any way by the dialogue, my god it’s generic, characters have no charm of any kind when they say shit, a lot of it is exposition dump like it’s a Michael bay transformers film, but at least there you got to hear badass Peter Cullen as Optimus prime saying the lines, here it’s delivered in the most wooden way imaginable, and of course, we can’t forget, THE BABY.
The plot is a boring sci fi movie, the pacing is inconsistent, a lot of it is just dull, and it doesn’t pull you in enough to make you keep playing, like seriously, this game has a loop of “I don’t want to do anymore combat or any gameplay, give me a cutscene” then you get a cutscene and realize “I don’t want this shitty ass cutscene, bring me back to the gameplay” it’s an endless that repeats until the game ends.



I could talk about more, but you’ve heard it a million times already, this game is a disaster, dare I say it’s Metroid’s Sonic 06. It’s a complete betrayal of what Metroid fundamentally is and it was so bad, it made the franchise lay dormant for years to come, but thanks to the wonderful folks at mercurystream, we got a comeback in the form of Samus Returns, and then a few years later we got Dread, the long awaited 5th entry in the 2D series, and this year we got an excellent remaster of a beloved classic, Metroid Prime, and with Metroid Prime 4 off in the distance and (hopefully) potential remasters of Prime 2 and 3, this franchise is finally looking towards a hopeful future, one where we can finally abandon this fucking travesty of a game.


Welp, at least for now that’s it with my journey through Metroid, until I get Prime 3 (fingers crossed that I get it soon) and a way to access Prime 2 or Samus Returns on legal terms, and hopefully Nintendo puts Zero Mission on the game boy online thing, until then, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time with this franchise and can now consider myself a Metroid fan.

I’m gonna go wash the awful taste of this game out of my mouth with another playthrough of Super Metroid, or hopefully Prime 3 once it gets delivered to me.

Metroid Dread is a superb game



It builds on everything that the previous games established storywise and gameplay wise, the controls are super tight and easily the best the series has to offer, absolutely thrilling bosses, fucking beautiful graphics, and overall just a really great experience.
The one thing I’ll say this fails on compared to the other Metroid games is the atmosphere, it’s still there, helped tremendously by how beautiful the game looks, but what I think holds it back compared to like Super Metroid is the soundtrack, it’s just kinda forgettable, no track really pops up in my mind aside from the intro theme (which is in every game) and the third phase of the final boss theme.
Oh speaking of, I praised Super Metroid’s final boss a lot, buuuuuut this game’s final boss is just far superior in like every way, maybe except for the cinematic aspect (which even then this fight still excelled at that), it’s an enormously challenging fight even for this series standards, I love how this is the first fight in the series where you finally face an opponent who’s superior to you, I mean before the only ones who came close were like SA-X who was just equal to samus at full power, and I guess Dark Samus idk I haven’t played Prime 2 or 3, but this fight definitely proves why this opponent is just vastly superior to you, it’s a three phase gauntlet that never slows down at any point, the only way to win is to focus, learn, and ultimately get good.


Metroid Dread is phenomenal, and a fantastic way to end my adventure into this series’ 2D entries.
Now onto the 3D ones, starting with Metroid Prime.

Beat this game at 2 in the morning today, after I started it at like 5 in the afternoon yesterday.


Metroid Fusion is a short but sweet Metroid experience, the sprite work here is phenomenal, the atmosphere is serene, the same things I basically said for Super Metroid are retained here, and in some ways improved upon it.
The SA-X is such a unique and interesting antagonist, quite literally putting samus against herself, each section with the thing is intense, and is the closest thing this series comes to a horror thriller type game.
With all that being said, this game has one thing really holding it back, and you already know what I’m about to say, the game is way too linear, now I don’t usually have a problem with that, Metroid II was linear but I liked it, so why is this one different? Well, it comes down to the fact that the game literally always shows where to go and what to do, the great thing about the Metroid series is being lost and exploring uncharted territory, when you find things or bosses on your own, you get a little sense of accomplishment, but that’s thrown all out the window here, I feel like just a simple change of not immediately showing us the map as soon as we enter the area, and instead we have to find it in the area ourselves, just that simple change could go a long way.
Even with that gripe, this is still a fantastic 2D Metroid game, it’s also weird to say this but I recommend this being your first game unless you have access to Zero Mission somehow, although idk why Nintendo decided to make the 4th game in a series that actively has a storyline going on that needs the other context of the previous games to be the most accessible game for new players, but hey, that’s Nintendo.



Onto Dread, then I’ll probably start doing every 3D entry that I’m able to play.

Now this, this is where this series started flourish.


Super Metroid is a fantastic game, the mood and atmosphere is top notch, the gameplay is a little bit clunky at first but is very satisfying once you get the hang of it, the bosses are great, the wordless storytelling is spectacular, it’s all around a great package.
I want to talk about the final boss, I thought this shit was just gonna be a repeat of Metroid 1’s final boss, but then mother brain turned into that weird giant mech body thing, shit had me blown away.
I also love how this battle is almost basically like a cinematic, you get stunned once you deal enough damage and mother brain is about to finish you off, then the big baby Metroid comes in last second and saves you, which i feel really pays off what they set up with the baby in Metroid II, but sadly mother brain kills the baby, but no before it gives samus some superpowers, THEN YOU FUCKING GO BALLISTIC ON MOTHER BRAIN, it’s such a satisfying payoff, and a nice way to end the game.

Now the question is, do I think this is the best in the series, and the answer is a solid I don’t know, personally I think the controls hold it back a little, cause I mean, it’s never reaching them Dread controls, and while this game has fantastic atmosphere and a great soundtrack, wouldn’t say it’s as good as Metroid Prime in that regard, still though, I need some time to think about it and just mull it over.

Also here’s something kinda odd, why is it that Mario, Zelda, and Metroid have kinda the same pattern with their first three entries, think about it
Super Mario Bros 1 established a foundation for what the franchise is, Super Mario Bros 2 is that weird middle child which is liked by some but ignored by others, and then Super Mario Bros 3 is considered a masterpiece by many and established almost every single thing this franchise is known for.
The Legend of Zelda established a foundation for the franchise, Zelda II was that weird middle child that some appreciate but others ignored, and A Link to the Past is considered a masterpiece by many that established almost everything the franchise is known for.
Metroid 1 established a foundation for the series, Metroid II is that weird middle child that some appreciate while others ignore it, and Super Metroid is considered a masterpiece by many that established a lot of what this series is known for.
It’s kinda cool that all these Nintendo franchises basically started out and grew up the same.


Alright, next is Fusion