35 Reviews liked by Vonify


My fucking parents took away my playstation 5 right when I was about to beat the game. It's not my fault that i didnt move for nearly 10 days straight and refused to go to the bathroom. Unbelievable. Now the only video game i can play is my grandpa's Atari 2600 because it hasnt been touched in nearly 50 years and was covered in a thick layer of dust so my mom didnt take it away.

Cloud and friends.... I will be back.

This game is a Rebirth in the way that Buddhists believe you will be reborn as a hungry ghost with an enormous stomach and a tiny mouth as a punishment for leading a life consumed by greed and spite

Talking flowers, really?

This series has been around for god knows how long and the kids who grew up with the original game on the NES are old enough now to collect social security. So why does the series continue to go for the kiddie audience instead of appealing to his actual fans, the adults? Think of how awesome a Mario game where he swears and uses mushrooms like drugs would be. Such a shame that the lazy devs don’t understand what the real fans want.

Killing monsters is bad 🤓 🤓 🤓

Tried to give this game another chance since I felt maybe I was too hard on it but no, it’s even worse. It is glitchy to the point of being unplayable with Link being barely controllable, areas not loading correctly, and a statue from later in the game randomly showing up everywhere and blocking the way. Appalled at Nintendo for releasing a game in this state.

The patches suck ass but the base game is godtier

King Kong being a horrible mess (Flirting) vs Gollum being a horrible mess (Harassment)

My mom asked if the dishes were done and I yelled "BETHESDA!"

She hugged me. She knew they were washed.

Unfortunately it has aged very poorly. Its epic and expressive soundtrack goes to waste when you are listening to it on a loop while stuck for fifteen minutes in frustration, trying to figure out which pixel in the colossus' back is grabbable.

While the atmosphere is undoubtedly powerful and the visual design of the colossi stands out even today, the actual design of most encounters is honestly bad and the entire game is seldom readable. More often than not I finished the boss fights feeling exhausted and grumpy, instead of fulfilled or celebratory, and annoyed at the fact that I wasn't really following my own ideas or playing as I thought I had to at first.

I guess it is one of those games that felt way better "at the time", for a generation that had more patience or a different sense of curiosity in videogames, and that is probably something wrong with me rather than with the game, but it feels weird to say so, as the only thing that prevented me from playing this 15 years ago was the fact that I didn't own the magic Sony box.

Edit: boosted up the rating a bit after the moving final section (and that traumatic scene) :(

Yes, I played this game and enjoyed it. Yes, your wife gave me a blowjob while I played the high impact gameplay of Devil May Kino 2. Cope.

I finished this games dante must die mode like a fucking insane person via the definitive edition and I think my brain has turned to mush I can't stop playing this game someone help

So glad this came out, I missed the time when licensed games were incredibly horrible and abhorrent messes.

It is a shame that Nintendo put so much work and passion into this, only to have the misfortune of releasing in the same year as Armored Core VI. Poor Zelda is going to be dashed across the rocks and scattered into the wind by the game of the fucking century.

AC SWEEEEEP EVEN GEOFF WILL KNEEL!