Zyphe
2011
This is a half-finished game, its last areas filled to the brim with enemies seemingly placed at random and some of the worst bossfights ever put in a video game.
It's still the best game fromsoft ever made and noone besides a small Australian indie studio has captured the magic of its first half.
It's still the best game fromsoft ever made and noone besides a small Australian indie studio has captured the magic of its first half.
2019
It's impossible to talk about this game without sounding like the most pretentious person imaginable. A once in a lifetime experience that everyone can and should go through as blind as possible. It's the best game ever made and if we're being honest second place is not close.
2019
A very weird and incredibly niche game that succeeds in everything that it sets out to do. Absolutely incomparable atmosphere, a tense, rewarding and freeform gameplay loop, and consistently engaging writing.
It might not be everyones' cup of tea, but those who like the taste will love it to death.
Also your aunt is in it 😳
It might not be everyones' cup of tea, but those who like the taste will love it to death.
Also your aunt is in it 😳
2017
Retroactively bumped symphony of the night down half a star. The absolute pinnacle of metroidvania, with the best exploration and the most interconnected world in the genre by a long shot. The only game to have even comparable world design is the first half of Dark Souls 1.
Why do bartenders keep looking at me weird when I ask for extra karmotrine????
Gorgeous and extremely well-utilized visuals, a unique gameplay loop for a really engaging mystery. Was one of a kind for a while but I'm thankful we're starting to see new releases inspired by it.
2017
Yoko Taro finally trial-and-errored himself into making a masterpiece, and it only took PlatinumGames to make him a combat system worth a damn. The atmosphere here is incredible, with one of the most consistently high quality soundtracks ever put in a game.
2014
A phenomenal game betrayed by a subpar engine, massive pop-in and a significant amount of bugs. Despite that, Subnautica has the best gameplay loop of any survival crafting game. Its hand-made map and actually designed progression systems make it an absolute joy to explore and map out.
2021
While not as fast and explosive as ultrakill its willingness to let you go absolutely wild with its movement mechanics gives it a distinctly unique niche.
If you expected to read an in depth explanation for the visuals:
Shut the fuck up funko pop owner.
If you expected to read an in depth explanation for the visuals:
Shut the fuck up funko pop owner.
2020
I'm personally against giving a perfect score to a game that's technically not finished yet so I'm compromising. It is already the best FPS I've ever played. An extremely fast game with incredible depth in learning and utilizing both your movement options and weapon combos.
2022
What a fucking disaster game.
It's godawful, misguided final hours are only comparable to the godawful, unfinished second half of Dark Souls 1....
The absolute joy of exploring its gorgeous world as the map continues to expand around you is also only comparable to Dark Souls 1 (and Hollow Knight actually)...
There are SEVERE problems that this game introduces to the soulslike formula, and worse, reintroduces from Dark Souls 2. Despite that, Elden Ring is so phenomenal in every other aspect that it's genuinely difficult to criticize.
It's godawful, misguided final hours are only comparable to the godawful, unfinished second half of Dark Souls 1....
The absolute joy of exploring its gorgeous world as the map continues to expand around you is also only comparable to Dark Souls 1 (and Hollow Knight actually)...
There are SEVERE problems that this game introduces to the soulslike formula, and worse, reintroduces from Dark Souls 2. Despite that, Elden Ring is so phenomenal in every other aspect that it's genuinely difficult to criticize.
2016
The price of Stellaris (and all Paradox games really) is inexcusable.
This review score is probably severely influenced by Stockholm syndrome but I fucking love this game so much. Nothing else does galactic politics remotely as well (if you have the appropriate dlcs). Species and empire customisation is phenomenal (if you have the appropriate dlcs) and the stories you'll end up telling benefit greatly from the variety.
Family share it from someone already in too deep or spend a week trying to justify the purchase to yourself (it's not worth it).
This review score is probably severely influenced by Stockholm syndrome but I fucking love this game so much. Nothing else does galactic politics remotely as well (if you have the appropriate dlcs). Species and empire customisation is phenomenal (if you have the appropriate dlcs) and the stories you'll end up telling benefit greatly from the variety.
Family share it from someone already in too deep or spend a week trying to justify the purchase to yourself (it's not worth it).
2016
What if a souls game was linear?
It's bad.
The combat is the pinnacle of souls combat though, and coupled with the best bossfights in the series you can find new ways to love this game.
The Ringed City alone is worth the price of this game.
It's bad.
The combat is the pinnacle of souls combat though, and coupled with the best bossfights in the series you can find new ways to love this game.
The Ringed City alone is worth the price of this game.
2014
A complete and utter trashfire.
There are a lot of games that misunderstood the appeal of Dark Souls 1, and this is chief amongst them.
Devs heard that people liked the difficulty so they assumed they could make the most boring encounters imaginable if they were hard.
Devs heard that the first game "opens up" after the lordvessel so they gave the players bonfire warping immediately, completely ruining the interconnected world.
Devs heard that the environmental storytelling was impressive so they relied on setpieces and spectacle instead of intrigue and mystery.
This is, without a shred of irony, one of the worst games I've ever played.
There are a lot of games that misunderstood the appeal of Dark Souls 1, and this is chief amongst them.
Devs heard that people liked the difficulty so they assumed they could make the most boring encounters imaginable if they were hard.
Devs heard that the first game "opens up" after the lordvessel so they gave the players bonfire warping immediately, completely ruining the interconnected world.
Devs heard that the environmental storytelling was impressive so they relied on setpieces and spectacle instead of intrigue and mystery.
This is, without a shred of irony, one of the worst games I've ever played.
2013
Love waiting, love incessant padding to every core system, love every new addition being abandoned in favor for a newer one every 6 months.
If you removed the trash you'd have one of the most enjoyable shooters ever made, with incredible movement and build variety. Sadly, the trash is like 80% of the game at this point.
If you removed the trash you'd have one of the most enjoyable shooters ever made, with incredible movement and build variety. Sadly, the trash is like 80% of the game at this point.