there is no game in the world that I want a modern remaster of more. sure, the samurai/ninja power fantasy is simulated in loving detail, but you haven't known true combat until you and your opponent are crawling toward each other with your one remaining good arm after you've taken out all of eachother's other limbs , flailing your weapons helplessly at each other like you're crabs with knives

the beginning of a decade+ of trust issues

Much has been said about the quality and customizability of the combat (it's fantastic), but one of my favorite things about the Tactics Ogre is how even though the end results of your decisions might be virtually identical, the writing is elegant enough to obfuscate that into really feeling like player choice is important. Make a decision early on, and character X will leave you, disgusted by your actions; choose the opposite choice, and that same character leaves you - this time, revealing that no matter what choice you made, they'd disagree with it, because they hate your fucking guts. It may feel kind of dishonest, but frankly? That's consistent writing, and I respect it.

Anyway Canopus could split me open like a ripe, juicy coconut 🥥🥥

I am trapped between two worlds

World 1) my partner walked in on me playing this. "it's a puzzle game," I said, remembering how much he enjoyed playing through return of the obra dinn with me. "you like puzzle games. do you want to try this together?" anyway, he sat behind me for a total of five minutes before throwing up his hands in despair and walking out. "I'm not gonna fucking sit here and watch you play snake for hours," he said.

World 2) My friend, who recommended I play this, is very excited to watch my progress as I make the way through; this has been a harrowing experience where he makes soft noises of disapproval as I attempt to lizard brain my way through the puzzles. it is destroying my self esteem and it's not like that was in a good place to begin with

so like, i'm not at a point where i can review this but: please send help

there is a not-insignificant overlap between the group of people who feel that this game is too hard and the group of people who earnestly believe that sekiro: shadows die twice is a rhythm game.

the game is good (though I am glad I picked it up post-robust DLC catalogue and not during its shaky development) and is directly responsible for the growing severity of my whole ongoing carpal tunnel issue (but it's fine and I wasn't using that hand for anything important anyway)

Originally, I wasn't a big fan of the first installment, with its
cloying setting and uneven storytelling. I wasn't expecting
this game to be as good as it is, but I'm happy to eat crow.
on the one hand, the writing is exceptionally good, with a
particularly darker bent than the first game's feel-good tone.
and on the other, the combat is exponentially cleaner and
tighter than any of its modern jrpg contemporaries.
hot take: Temenos and Crick are boyfriends, right?

I can understand wanting to make an 'experimental' sequel to your game, but I don't think that "what if we make our game as much like Slay the Spire as we possibly can" is a very good experiment

i can tell that the game is great, I really can; I just don't vibe with the core cast. maybe once a couple of seasons are out I'll find a character that hooks me but for now, I'm happy that other people are having fun with it.

battle tracks are legit ass though

astounding to see this amount of meaningfully impactful player choice in a game about playing with stickers

i was worried that this would be divinity: original sin 3 more than it would be a true successor to baldur's gate II (not that more div:os2 would be a bad thing at all, really) but it does a suitably good job of living up to the originals' legacy while incorporating the polish and production value of some of the genre's more recent successful entries. 5e is a mixed bag, but the game pushes past (most) of the system's frustrating qualities. it's great. (i've also seen porn that is less horny than this game. some of the shit larian pulls in this is absolutely wild and I'm surprised they were able to get away without an AO rating. i deep throated a tentacle????)

anyway the camp f* slur vampire is funnier than every single bioware npc combined

wow snk really hates making money huh

this entry in the series reads like psychological horror produced by greta gerwig. sh3 explored issues that continue to affect modern women today, such as:

1. coping with the death of a loved one by embracing your hobbies (cosplay)
2. what to do when you've allowed the family dog too much control over your daily life
3. how to eat god while still having enough time to enjoy your blond hair

always a pleasure to return to failbetter's fallen london, and after the Constance update, it's a pleasure to be able to assign it a decent score. some lovely writing lies herein, and the actual mystery at the root of the narrative is truly a joy to piece together. also, i'd plow archie until his knees splintered the floorboards.

anthony burch is rolling over in his grave
yes I know he's not dead
yet

This review contains spoilers

you're telling me that this twink was raised by a fucking dog after his dad died? what the fuck is CPS Paldea even up to? where are our tax pokedollars even going?