aughhhh
BACKER
2006
this game exists at this weird intersection of "absolutely amazing, groundbreaking narrative" and "borderline unplayable dogshit gameplay" and i don't really know how to quantify that with a numeric score; can i just score it a question mark instead?
if this game did better then the red crayon aristocrats could have been the root for an entire generation of wlw
if this game did better then the red crayon aristocrats could have been the root for an entire generation of wlw
child me found a copy of this at a church rummage sale in the late 90s and boy let me tell you i was not prepared to see the bright coral pink skin of the butler and maid's bare asses as they were having full on VGA graphics softcore time. this definitely left a longterm impression on me (gay forever, roberta williams' fault)
2013
it's vanillaware so it's gorgeous, but also the invention of the sorceress created a great karmic imbalance in the universe so until we get an eventual remaster where they introduce a male fanservice character that drags his massive cock behind him like a deceased eel, the damage this game has done will never be healed
1997
lizard dance.avi
this is the one where you don't kill hitler. maya remains the most likable persona protagonist, but "let's positive thinking" is a maxim that just could not exist in 2022 and so this game is forever rooted in simpler times. pink handguns akimbo are a serve regardless
OUCH!! THAT HURTS
PLEASE... DON'T KILL ME
OH.... BUT I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE TO... DOO HOO HOOOOO
PLEASE... DON'T KILL ME
OH.... BUT I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE TO... DOO HOO HOOOOO
2019
M A D R I G A L S
2015
on the one hand, this game's modding community is one of the best I've ever seen; on the other, i absolutely cannot fathom why this game has the amount of erotica that it does
depending on who you are and what your needs are, this not a great game to play if you have unresolved relationship trauma; or, alternately, it's a great game to play if you want to feel very very bad and completely unloveable
2023
the gameplay is pretty great objectively. but the story/art/music/character design/writing/dialogue is such a downgrade from 3h that it makes me feel deeply aware that i'm rapidly hurtling toward the heat death of the universe every second i spend playing it. like, the rest of it is so unequivocally bad that i feel myself growing exponentially dumber the longer i play it. sure, i may become a tactical genius by the endgame, but what's the use when this is all over and i have the mental capacity of a bowl of soup?
2009
now that there's a mod to disable groomer mode it's probably the best way to play p3, and the only way to curb mitsuru's disgusting marin karin addiction once and for all
2023
it's smut, but it's charming smut with some pretty funny dialogue. also: the big bara titty fox boy's cock basically has its own zip code. so, there's that.
2019
in spite of the fact (or perhaps because of it) that this game is ugly as shit and engineered to be deeply unfair, it's still fun. hostile design at its finest
2014
can i just make my review "suck it, David Cage" and leave it there? oh, I can? perfect. that's perfect.
2016
i remember this the least of any soulslike game I've played except for the fight at the end of Ashes of Ariendel, which is basically worth all four of the above stars by itself.