298 Reviews liked by bighatpaul


This review contains spoilers

I've played 2 souls games before. One I thought was just below average, and one I thought was just above. So the cultish obsession of this game was a unrelatable to me. So did I feel it up upon playing it? Well...kind of. In the early hours of this game I did love it, but the problem with FromSoft is that it has become clear after playing only 3 of their games that they are unwilling to do anything more than their bread and butter combat and exploration model. It works fine enough in the shorter games, but Elden Ring is a MASSIVE game, and their lack of any kind of change in how they do things becomes all too apparent in the boredom I felt before the half way point.

In fact being FromSoft's bread and butter means it also comes with many of their positives and negatives. A satisfying feeling combat system, which despite barely changing from day 1 has had some additions to vary things up. Though of these combat options many you won't be able to use properly depending on your build, and many are just useless compared to other options. You have "difficulty" that comes in the form of enemies that hit faster and harder than you, with longer reach, and come in groups (though to be fair this game is easily the least guilty of this of the ones I've played - except Haligtree, fuck that area). You have amazing enemy designs and (mostly) fun boss fights. You have lack of QoL features touted as being amazing game design because they don't "hold your hand" when in reality it's just ignoring decades of game improvements, because there's nothing special about making you waste time testing thousands of spells and spirits because the game can't be assed telling you their stats, or making you go in and out of menus because they forgot to implement a comparison feature in shops. And for every quest that actually gives you enough information to complete, there's 2 more which are so needless cryptic on where to go next, or if the game will even hint that the quest DOES continue, so your only options are to look it up, or luck into the next checkpoint and happen to find the next step by accident, which is especially rare now that the game is open world.

I remember one of the best feelings I had with this game in terms of tone was very early on when I spotted a travelling caravan. A bunch of enemies, a caravan and 2 giants pulling it. Killing them was at the time the hardest thing to do, outside of some optional bosses in the early area clearly not made for a new player, so it was fun to face these gigantic threats and get a reward from said caravan. But as you go on you realise you can't judge books by appearances and every area will feature strong and weak enemies no matter how much effort goes into their design. A regular ass bear is one of the most terrifying things you can find in the overworld. Thus any sense of emotion I got from seeing any kind of enemy was nil because its physical warning signs could mean nothing, as opposed to the tiny thing next to it which can pull off a 50 hit combo with no openings.

I know people love to shit on "checklist" open world games, but I at least like them for giving you more stuff to do. Yeah it might just be a bunch of tasks and minigames like races, but I'll take that over literally nothing but the main gameplay played on loop for 100+ hours.

The open world part of the game does help though, mostly in terms of not being roadblocked by a single boss. Being able to go anywhere means you always have options to go explore something new, get stronger and better equipment. But this does of course create balancing issues, in many ways. Though I almost don't think this balancing issue is even DUE to it being open world. The simple fact that most the equipment you find in late game areas being worse than a lot of early game areas is something that should be easily avoidable. One of the best weapons in the game is available right near the starting area... Like I know they probably want to incentivise exploring, but you can still have weapons that are stronger-than-average for the area, while keeping even better weapons in areas that are meant to be played later.

Speaking of exploring though, this is definitely something you can feel them padding out gameplay with. The hundreds of caves/dungeons/mines etc that have basically zero identity because 90% of them feel the same as all the others, and the rewards for them are something you'll likely never use. That's basically what a huge chunk of the playtime in this game boiled down to for me; going through optional areas, fighting through tough enemies and platforming sections so I can get a chest with an item that is worthless.

I guess there is some benefit to this though, since having so much content, but making so much of it pointless, means you never have to worry about missing stuff. I did a TON of things in the game, but I still know I probably missed many hidden locations, or quests etc, and I don't necessarily feel like I missed out because I know what I found in them wouldn't be used by me anyway.

Anyway that's my jumbled thoughts on this game I guess. I'm sure I could say a bunch more stuff if I just sat and thought about it, but I'm about ready to move on from this game. When it started I was thinking of giving this a 9, but by the end I was forcing myself to go through the same motions with nothing to excite me, and all I can give it is an unenthusiastic 7. It's a 50 hour game in a 100+ hour body.

OK WHY THE FUCK DOES MEGA MAN JUST LET WILY GO EVERY TIME
JUST FUCKING SHOOT HIM

Parasite Eve is a survival horror cinematic RPG based from a book by Hideaki Sena of the same name. Genre lines have been getting blurrier as the game industry has grown, and Parasite Eve certainly is an early culprit as it is easier to associate it with Capcom's popular franchise Resident Evil then with the Final Fantasy styled titles that Squaresoft were more known for at the time.

The story is a simple premise, yet unique. The protagonist Aya Brea is a rookie cop for the NYPD who unwittingly gets involved in a battle of evolution between humanity and a separate organism in everybody's cells known as mitochondria. Humans have been living in symbiosis with them for all this time, but Mitochondrion Eve has declared war, breaking this necessary truce.

No war would be concluded without epic battles to be waged, while perhaps there is nothing quite of that scale, the fights in Parasite Eve are at least engaging and tactical if lacking somewhat in the drama department. All the battles during the game are in real time and always in the same location on the map you are running through, unfortunately predictable while exploring. During battle Aya becomes confined to the location on the screen to duke it out, and sometimes these areas are very small leading to some frustration in dodging enemy attacks as there is literally no where to run.

To attack Aya uses guns of which she will get a large variety of as the game moves on, starting with a handgun but soon gaining access to machine guns, rifles and even grenade launchers, all of which can be customized at the NYPD's gun shop or later in the field using tools to swap stats from weapon to weapon or even her body armor. Before she can fire a bullet however, Aya has to wait for her ATB (active time bar) to fill up; when this is full she can perform an action.

Sci-fi horror is however nearly always too predictable and Parasite Eve falls right in line with that by giving Aya powers of the surreal sort. Like in the battle for real life, evolution of a species does not always go one way; those best suited to their environment merely survive the harsh challenge of the world. Eve is not the only Mitochondria to have evolved; Aya's have also upgraded themselves with the passing of time helping to give her powers by a burst of generated energy. These surreal abilities range from healing to attack and stat boost, acting essentially as magic spells that once again depend on the inevitable arrival of a full atb bar. Overall it is a fun system.

The lack of a map on certain later points in the game left nothing but puzzlement and frustration at needlessly running around looking for the objective area, the museum being the unfortunate level design I am referring to. The final boss sequence has a point of no return and is surprisingly hard in comparison with the rest of the game which almost resulted in an impassable wall through my experience. Yet the most devastating blow to the game however spawns right at the end of the title with an unnecessary and highly cheap chase scene in which Aya gets the chance to meet her maker if the creature so much as brushes against her, forcing the player to fight all of the last boss forms again, and possibly again with so much as a wrong turn.

Parasite Eve does one thing especially well and that is ooze style. The graphics, music and designs are excellent but the fmv's are what really show the theme of the cinematic RPG. Also, shout out to The amazing OST in this game. It uses a mixture of synth and classical instruments to create a creepy horror vibe but also fast paced and exciting when needed.

Overall the bar Square set for themselves was high and this is obvious in production values and an excellent material source, and while succeeding on many levels in creating a unique and thought provoking experience some minor game and level design flaws unfortunately get in the way of making this a run away experience, however what they did make was a very good game that any RPG or horror enthusiast should at least try.

+ Fantastic atmosphere.
+ Great story idea.
+ Fantastic OST.
+ Combat is fun.

- Final section can be frustrating.

Third GOTW finished for 2022. What a game! I don't like beat-em-ups, and that came through with this one, but I had a fun time with this game. The difficulty is definitely there, so it took a couple of tries, but it's not very long. It's a wild wacky ride, going from a bmup, to a gallery shooter, to a side-shooter, and back again. Entertaining!

Second GOTM finished for April 2022. How has it taken me this long to step into this series!? This game is great, and if this is the first entry I can't wait to see what the others have to offer. Some places dragged here and there, but overall I was impressed with how much I enjoyed this one. The writing is great, the characters are quirky and fun, and even when it goes a little over-the-top it feels fun to experience. Great game!

This game rocks. The story is so insanely paced and you never get a moment to breathe and it fucking rules

this is why humans are scarier than the supernatural

7 years to make an okay sequel that doesn't add much. The story is awful; I do not care about Mia or the evil superpowered dude that had to kill a horse.

It's amazing to think that this game, for the basic idea that it presents (mainly, that 50 Cent is a super soldier) is actually somewhat good. But it is - albeit more so in a completely ridiculous way that will have you laughing at the absurdity of it all.

That, or you can watch Chip and Ironicus' Lets Play of it, which still holds up even today.

This game is overrated but with a reason, this game is Masterpiece the story is just perfect and this game is a big mark in Square history because its the first 3d ff game

I think we've all seen the Tim Rogers review of Tokimeki Memorial. I think for pretty much everyone, that was probably the first time they'd heard of it. I'm not sure what I could add to such an expansive review, but put simply, Tokimeki Memorial is indeed the Rosetta stone for modern video games, and is easily one of the best games I've ever played. An intricate web of simulated relationships that is challenging to navigate, chock full of jokes that pretty consistently land, even after the language barrier and nearly 3 decades have passed between their writing.

Instead we can discuss the translation briefly, as that is of course new since said video. And what a work it is - an absolutely herculean project, localising every line in the game with finesse. And while it is by no means perfect (did Shiori really need to say "Kept You Waiting, Huh?" when late to a date? And why change the name when people know it as Tokimeki Memorial?) it is absolutely astonishing that any english-speaking person can now trivially play the game. On top of that, the translation team also added some amazing patches that add the PlayStation anime OP to the game, as well as include fully voiced ending scenes from the playstation release for every single girl and an ED over the credits as well. What an amazing package, that frankly makes it not matter that this isn't the much ballyhooed PlayStation version.

It feels frankly essential that anyone with an interest in how modern games got to where they are should play Tokimeki Memorial, and the best part is that because Konami are hot garbage and emulation for the SNES is perfect on even a toaster, it's free and easy.

Oh and for those interested - this review was written after a first playthrough, pursuing Yuina. But there's so much here, so much stuff that this playthrough grasped against but didn't cling on to so I couldn't see it, that I'll be playing much, much more.

Strap in, kids. This is a big one.

The keyword for this game is ‘trust’. The devs have placed a phenomenal amount of trust in the player to make the right decisions for themselves with minimal hand holding. A powerful Tree Sentinel is one of the very first, if not the first, enemy you may encounter and they leave it to you if you want to spend an hour trying to fight him or have the smarts to back off and fight him later. Caelid, one of the toughest areas in the game, can casually be wandered into on accident as it's right next to the starting area. Essentially essential items for major gameplay mechanics are left up to you to find. The amount of actual mandatory content in this game is miniscule. It kinda blows my mind they're perfectly happy for people to miss so much stuff, because a lot of this is very well hidden.

The lore of the land stands on its own and isn’t afraid to get weird, even by FromSoft standards. Minor spoiler, but one of my favourite tidbits I discovered was that General Radahn uses his gravity magic to make sure he never comes off his steed. The lore's compelling, full of new things, and is so apparent in just the environment alone.

The NPC characters are more compelling and abundant than before, having more direct contributions to the state of the world and their quests are massively improved. Previous Souls games would have characters speak in vagueness about where they would go and 9/10 times this would result in few people bothering with them because an NPC would hop around to areas you have no reason to go back to and would then die. Characters in Elden Ring are more chatty, have more defined goals and tend to travel in similar directions to you, keeping them feeling like people but making the quests far more engaging.

My favourite part of this game is the sense of discovery. With certain graces guiding you towards a few major locations, everything else is up to you and it feels incredible. Coming across a tunnel that leads to an underground city with its own secrets that lead you to yet more optional areas and bosses is more the norm than the exception with this game. It’s so jam packed with places to go and secrets to find it’s almost disappointing when you don’t come across an area that isn’t a multilayered labyrinth. Even when I was over 60 hours into the game I was coming across new areas and having my mind blown with just how much there was to discover and learn about. This exploration doesn’t go without reward either. Everywhere you go contains some sort of useful item. Whether it be a recipe book, weapon, shield, talisman, ash of war, spirit, armour, spells, vows, upgrade material, vendor items, ect. It’s a dream come true to me. I love games that let me find things without pointers and have no qualms letting me miss things if I don’t pay attention.

A brilliant piece of game design was the map. The map begins zoomed only on Limgrave, the starting area. But it progressively zooms out the further away you travel. There were many times I was asking myself “how much bigger is this going to get?” and it’s a great and daunting question the game is wanting me to ask. Trap chests and teleporters dotted around the game are great, too. Most of these give you small glimpses of late game areas but some of them hilariously send you to areas you are most likely not prepared to complete yet. I love these.

The amount of content is really staggering and not in the poorly disguised way most other open world games fill themselves out. There is a degree of copy pasting. Very few bosses are one-of-a-kind. Mines, caves, castles and catacombs have a degree of repetition, there’s a very noticeable amount of asset reuse from previous games. But it doesn’t feel lazy. The world feels bespoke from head-to-toe and I struggle to imagine how they’ll top themselves with their next game.

The difficulty scaling of the game is a big step up from other open world games. Don’t lie, by the mid-to-late game in BOTW, you were basically not being challenged by almost anything, in Skyrim you were king of the land by level 5. Elden Ring remains a challenge from beginning to end.

The game doesn’t come without its flaws, of course. Now… Fromsoft RPGs… the thing about Fromsoft RPGs… the thing you have to remember about Fromsoft RPGs… well, Fromsoft RPGs have a lot of repeated ideas, but they’re often presented uniquely enough to stand on their own.

It may be fatigue setting in, but it’s disheartening to see yet another FromSoft game about a world in ruin where an undead (you) must kill the most powerful beings and decide the fate of the world, filled with NPCs who speak vaguely in ye olde English, exploring the usual castles and swamps for the most part. You have your regenerating health item, roll and punish, ect. I think it’s really time to change up the formula a bit and it doesn’t even have to be by much, I think Bloodborne differentiates itself just fine and that’s just slightly more modern ye olde England.

“Door does not open from this side” is as prevalent as ever and lifts exist in some increasingly questionable places.

Contraptions like giant crossbows can’t be operated which seems like a huge oversight as my first instinct was to use them and this was something you could do in previous games.

There’s no logbook. A character may point you in a direction you can’t go to yet and 20 hours later when you have access, you may have, or at least I certainly did, have completely forgotten what that NPC said. I don’t think it’d harm the experience to at least have something in game to refer back to have a character said.

Bosses are extremely samey. Aggressive, infinite stamina spam festivals where you dodge attacks and hit on down time. It’s boring. I wish the series would go back to some of its more puzzle-like bosses, such as the Tower Knight, Fools Idol, or Old Hero. Sure, they may not all be super difficult 1-on-1 ultimate tests of skill but they do add variety and variety is the spice of life.

Optional castles are noticeably less tightly designed and have a samey feel to them. A lot of them feel like just the courtyard of Boletaria Castle. It’s a little disappointing but only a minor complaint.

There are some strange decisions on the difficulty. Some areas can only be accessed after completing other activities and sometimes these areas are very easy by comparison to what you have to overcome to get there.

Overall I can't recommend this game enough. It really does elevate the open world genre to a whole new level.

I, for one, have never exactly been fond of the Souls game due to how unforgiving each entry can be. I used to be in crowds asking for an easy mode or optional difficulty settings. After completing Elden Ring though, I now highly disagree with the notion of these games having an easy mode. It would be a disservice. A disservice to the pinnacle of video game design and to the message they try to convey. I am proud to say that I've got the message.

During my playthrough of Elden Ring, I came across a formidable boss in an endgame dungeon. One I already fought before and conquered. "Should be a breeze," I said. Skip hours later into the night. It was 2AM and I was begging for mercy after losing over and over to the same boss for three hours. It was brutal. I never raged like this ever since I played Smash Ultimate online. During one attempt I managed to get the boss's health down to a single digit, but I freaked out and whifted an attack. The boss jumped back and ended my run with a one-shot. This exact situation would repeat throughout the night. I guess this is what I deserve for being a greatsword DEX player. It got so bad that I started to doubt my video game abilities and almost began to cry. A video game has never brought me down like this before. That specific boss and many others before almost made me quit the game entirely. "Maybe Souls games really aren't for me" I started thinking. Even so, I still persisted and challenged the boss again and again until I got their patterns down. I took breaks by exploring the vast open-world to find upgrades that'll make me stronger. Finally, around 3AM that night, I defeated the boss with nearly perfect execution. That europhia I got after overcoming such an obstacle rippled across my body as I sank into my chair proclaiming victory. At long last it made sense to me. I understood why these games are universally beloved. I understood why people love these games despite being incredibly difficult. The feeling of winning a fight that seemed impossible at first, but eventually breaking the brick wall through trial and error and careful observation is one an easy mode simply cannot accomplish.

This revelation can be reached within anybody throughout any Souls games during any boss battle. Everybody falls in love with Elden Ring and other Souls games in many different ways. I find that magical. Elden Ring further drives that idea home with its vast and content rich open-world that will take players years to fully uncover every secret it has to offer. I cannot fathom how a game of this size was made in this day and age. It feels like a dream. Play anyway you want in this world. It's your own sandbox. You determine how much trouble the main questline will give you. Don't let anybody else steer you otherwise. Is a boss fight too difficult? Simply skip that area and explore the next section. Strengthen yourself with discoveries you find.The boss fight still too much? Simply summon other players for help in co-op. There is no shame in that nor using overpowered magic for encounters. If the boss plays dirty, so do you. No easy mode? Sure. Make an easy mode just for you using anything in your disposal. I love how there's still a challenge no matter how much you prep so get ready for a desperate struggle once you step through the mist. Like I stated earlier, that feeling you get once you eventually defeat a boss is pure bliss. Fight anyway you want. Go anywhere you want. This world, jam-packed with lore and breathtaking atmosphere, is all yours.

Even with all the praise I've given Elden Ring, sadly, no game is perfect. There are encounters that are often reused boss battles but instead of one of them, there's two of them which can sometimes feel unfair. There are obvious performance issues especially in the PC version with large amounts of stuttering and locked 60fps across the board. Will any of this negatively affect the score? No. Elden Ring is just THAT good. Amazing job to FromSoft for creating a completed, finished package with zero issues I have with modern gaming today. I highly recommend you check this and any other Souls games out because I know I will. Elden Ring is one of my favorite gaming experiences I have had in a long time.

First GOTM finished for January 2022. There were some neat ideas here, and it looks quite good for a 3D game from its time, but the platforming was unforgiving and the saves were pretty spaced out causing replays of some areas. The voice acting was also pretty poor (save for one well known VA). I would consider this to be a bad game, and I'm not interested in coming back.