Look, we deserve better from our modern AAA releases. I did not suffer from any technical issues but its clear to see this game could of used a lot more time in the oven. But all that being said, I'm not gonna lie. I had a pretty fun time playing through this.

As someone who does not really like open worlds or deserts, I thought the setting for this was pretty good. Sure graphically the game isnt great and the world itself does feel pretty lifeless but as a location/vibe I enjoyed it well. I see a lot of people talking about how cringe all the characters and dialogue are but I didnt really feel like they were? Maybe (considering what the internet thinks about some of my favorite series) i just have a really high tolerance but I don't recall any moments that really bothered me and I thought the main cast was all pretty likeable. Although at least half of the reason for that is Greg Chun being such a lovely VA. For my "Boss" the voice I chose was Erica Lindbeck's who I also adore. It was always really funny to hear her swear with a similar voice to one of her other characters. The story mode was a bit shorter than expected but for the most part I had fun with it. None of the missions really stand out and the few setpiece ones definitely lack the oomph they really needed. The story itself is very silly and definitely suffers a bit from its lack of length but idk, it's another thing that i thought was pretty enjoyable and I was satisfied with the ending.

The gameplay is kinda oof. The driving controls for normal vehicles is pretty goddamn awful but you unlock stuff like a hoverbike or tank pretty easily and those were a lot more fun to use. The shooting is fine but quite stiff. I found that most of the guns kinda sucked but the fully upgraded magnum was pretty busted and fun to use. You also get a finisher that replenishes where you can insta kill weaker/weakened enemies and those are pretty silly (in the fun way). Another big mechanic of the game is pretty standard open world stuff. There is an emphasis on expanding businesses and doing a bunch of side missions to upgrade them. These are as repetitive as they sound but they do have their own personality and flair to them. I'm on a bit of a crunch to beat stuff before the year ends so I didnt play much but from what I did they were enjoyable enough. The last thing I wanna touch on is the customization. I always love when games have this and Saints Row's system is pretty good. Especially because this game lets you be (half) naked. Running around and gunning people down with my tits out like god intended is lovely. Unfortunately you can only be topless OR bottomless which is clearly sexist anti-lesbian agenda. Just another thing about the game that's half assed....

I feel like a lot of my review is saying something about the game that isn't really good and then me saying I like it anyways. It's not that I am just coping and trying to justify to myself why I bought it. I love trying new games so thats never really a factor for me. I see all the problems this game has and I can definitely understand why there isnt really anyone who loves this. It's mid by modern standards for sure but the hate does feel a bit overblown. It's still constantly brought up as the worst game of the year and I legit unsubscribed from a youtuber I used to watch because he fuckin talked about it so goddamn much. Im still not really sure why i like this game either but the more I think about it the more I wonder if I really need a reason. In the end I just do, and its a fun game to sit back with while you have youtube on.

In the end i feel incredibly conflicted about Saints Row 2022. The only thing I can say definitively is that the main theme is pretty bopping and its been stuck in my head all day.

Thanks for reading this "review" <3
Next up is whatever game comes next, but a Balan Wonderworld one is in the works :p

Nancymeter - 65/100
Time Played - 17 hours 52 minutes
Game Completion #145 of 2022
Game Completion #11 of November

I would not advise anyone to try this game - YET. Because there are so many issues. Gameplay bugs, animation issues, non-existent optimization, bad movement, trashy UI design and some more. Also, the fact that the game start VERY slow is a turn down for me, especially for a gameplay oriented game like this one. I am here for the gameplay, and yes, I am also listening to the story but the game revolves around the gameplay and not the story, so stop that 10 minutes of constant yapping and GIVE ME THE TOOLS TO EXPAND MY FACTORY.
Another thing is that there are research cubes and in order to research something in your technology tree you spend those research cubes BUT those cubes are, in fact, a material that you place in the world. A HUGE ASS CUBE THAT JUST SITS THERE SO YOU CAN RESEARCH SOME SHIT. They don't even disappear after you spend them. An example how frustrating they are is this: I decided to make a ladder out of those cubes as it was mandatory to place them somewhere and towards the 3rd hour, I had a colossal ladder reaching for the stars...
Just wait for it to be released, or at least a year.

It's a shame that it is abandoned because it had the potential to be a great game. Nice concept and gameplay and fun with friends for a short time. It's one of those games that you download once in every one or two years with your friends and then that one friend stops playing it because he's bored and then the other friends stop playing because it's not fun anymore without the whole gang and eventually you have to stop playing too because you are clinging onto the memories of the fun times you had with your friends while you all were playing together.

I was a mess and couldn't enjoy the games anymore and THEN I find this game on Game Pass. I really enjoyed playing it, the overall quality was high. Textures, voiceover, story, THE ENDING, gameplay mechanics and the list goes on. Truly one of the best works of EA in a decade. I didn't think that I would finish this game 100% but I did. And while 100%ing other games generally felt like a burden, this one was different, I enjoyed patiently replaying the parts I have already been and getting the loot I missed. I can't wait to play the sequel even though it got less positive reviews than this one. I wanted to try the 'Sexy Merrin' mod but I have already uninstalled the game, what a shame...

Oh, the intro is pretty awesome too!

You will be simping over the itsy bitsy protagonist at the beginning, and then, towards the end, you will find yourself tinkering over how to get out of the purple cocoon that has a portal to the green cocoon while carrying the green cocoon, which, by the way, happens to have green and orange cocoons inside of it, AND THAT ORANGE COCOON ALSO HAS GREEN COCOON INSIDE OF IT.

All in all, it's a brilliantly crafted indie game made by a handful of people who thanks to more people in their credits than the total number of people who worked on the game.
It lasts about 4 hours, but you can be sure that those hours will fly by. The graphics are simple but well-designed. Audio is very nice. Gameplay has a beautifully designed learning curve that suits my intelligence and gameplay style.
All very well but also, this game is not for everyone who HATES puzzles in games. If you are not one of them, give this game a chance, and if you don't experience brain freezes like I did, then you don't have to play this game on three different days and just finish it in a session.

Muscle Mommy Kassandra
After 125 hours and completely 100%ing the game, I can say that the only good thing about this game is locations/atmosphere and Kassandra. Oh, also the never seen before Isu DLC. Poorly executed but still, it was interesting to experience it. It could have been WAAAAAY better but here we are. I don't even want to talk about animations and the effort put in this game.
It's not even an Assassin's Creed game, too. I just take this game at face value and subtract the "Assassin's Creed" from it and voila! it's a great game :D

Best part of the game: Muscle Mommy Kassandra :3