573 Reviews liked by hazys


Spider and Scorpion fight each other......
To survive........

The music is deranged and I love it. NPCs give major grumpy Dark Souls energy; loved when the old man told me “I hope you die”

You're here, man. If you're reading this, you're here with us weirdos talking about a weird game for weirdos. Now that you're here and all the doors are mysteriously locked I have but one question for you: What if one of those Xbox 360 Live Arcade games featuring 3D porn models doing weird shit was good enough to play all the way through? About an Elf is your answer.

First of all, watch this 20 second clip of the game and however you feel about it will 100% be how you feel about the game in it's entirety.

About an Elf is a mostly a visual novel style game, but there are small bits of gameplay and your dialogue choices that affect certain outcomes but it's not really that deep. This game is primarily an incoherent trip you're meant to glide through that truly remind me of indie games from the 90's with it's mix of incoherence and visual splendor.

To better explain, the dialogue reminds me of a dude in my old social circle who was a theater kid that brought lean to every party he was invited to and would talk in sentences that sounded like he was reading a thesaurus for assholes. That's right Logan, shoebox moon pie taurus oblongotta. Go play Project M with the others, I'm busy trying to hit on art hoes by pretending to be into Renaissance-era French architecture.

It isn't an exaggeration or me giving up trying to explain the vibe of About an Elf by saying this all comes off like a fever dream. You'll find yourself having mundane conversations with a 10 foot cat named Roland -- or having unearned meta conversations with a character that looks like the main character but with different hair and clothes. There's some pure cringe dialogue here, but the way the dialogue is presented by absurdly high rendered models in nice space backdrops while reggaeton beats are playing at nearly all times; all mostly really works in establishing a very unique identity I was charmed by.

If you are the type who plays weird shit for weird shit sake, here is something new for you. It's only on Switch tho, with no PC port at all. I suggest giving the devs money with an eShop purchase but emulating this if you only have PC is worth the effort.

It kinda blew most of 2021s game line up out of the water, however its still kinda bad for a MH game due to its horrific balance with wirebugs (wirefall, certain silkbinds). They also ruined hunting horn for no reason besides accessibility, which sums up the games watered down nature as an MH game.

One of the more impressive ROM hacks I've played, and one I'm happy to say has seen some touch-ups since the last time I played it. A very lovingly crafted double-dozen pack of Mario World levels with gorgeous new visuals and music, a challenging but consistent difficulty curve, and a strong variety of level concepts and themes. Many aspects of this game speak to my preferences more than even the base game Mario World, which is a hell of an accomplish. A few crappy levels near the end can't stop this from being a favorite of mine. Any 2D Mario fan willing to confront a pretty legit challenge that will blow your artistic senses away, step on up.

A more-than-competent platformer with fun mechanics and levels and great graphics and music. There are a few headscratchers like having to take damage to make bosses vulnerable, and the difficulty settings could have been ironed out a little better (Normal is incredibly easy and Hard is annoying as hell because it just gives enemies more HP), but it's generally not a bad way to spend a few hours.

The camera sucks half the stages suck walljumping sucks and dying is overly punishing this is one of the best 3D platformers every made and not enough games took the right lessons from it.

The lack of a double jump or gliding and the near complete lack of air control makes platforming actually rewarding unlike most other 3D platformers. I get that the genre is mostly aimed at toddlers but kids fucking loved Mario 64 so I don't want to hear any excuses.
Mario 64 also manages to avoid the "every collectible is just lying on the ground" problem that every other collectathon including mario odyssey has by having some platforming or exploring involved behind getting most stars.
What I'm trying to say is that I fucking hate Banjo Kazooie. Bitch fuck Banjo Kazooie and its fans hope they get exactly one new game and gruntilda marries a man.

After the release of Castlevania Rondo of Blood it would be logical to think that Symphony of the Night came next, however, two other games with the classic formula were made before, being these Castlevania Bloodlines for the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive and Dracula X for SNES, being the first of these 2 the one I will talk about in this occasion.

This game is a bit strange compared to the past 10 titles, as both the visual aspect and the setting are quite different. This time the story is set in the 20th century, a more contemporary era. We take the role of Jhon Morris and Eric Lecarde, two vampire hunters who, in the absence of the Belmont family, have the role of stopping Dracula and his servants. Dracula as such has not yet been resurrected, however his niece, Elizabeth Bartley, plans to bring him back to plunge the world into darkness.

So yes, this game gives us the possibility to play it with two different characters. John Morris has the Vampire Killer whip, so his gameplay is based on the classic gameplay of all the previous Castlevanias, albeit with some nice additions like being able to swing with the whip by hanging from any surface. Another day we'll talk about what happens when someone other than a Belmont uses the whip. And we also have Eric Lecarde, someone who fights using a spear made by Alucard, who can attack in several directions similar to Simon Belmont in Castlevania IV, but with a more limited speed and range, and we can also do a super jump if we crouch for a moment and then jump (reference to SMB2?).

This game was clearly developed by a different team than previous Castlevania games (the Contra team, I suspect) and may have been devised for Western audiences primarily. The game has virtually no religious references, for example, the crosses were changed to a common boomerang. The hearts were replaced by symbols with the letter “C” and blue orbs. The whip upgrades are now represented with an eagle (like the weapon upgrades in the Contra games) and the enemy design is a bit strange. It looks as if the monster designs are straight out of an 80s western cartoon... and it certainly doesn't look very “Castlevania”, it clashes quite a bit with the designs seen in both past and future installments of the series. However, where this game totally hits the nail on the head is in the environments, as they totally capture that gothic and grim setting of the series, but what makes it more impressive to me is that many of the locations in this game are based on real life locations, which also makes the set of levels feel more varied from the typical Castlevania game. Although truth be told, the game graphically doesn't look as good as the previous 3 installments either, it still remains one of the best looking games of the 16-bit era, even displaying a lot of graphical effects that I never imagined the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive would be capable of. There is also a continues system, so if you lose all of them you will have to start from the beginning of the game... well, this is actually a lie, as the continues become totally trivial if we take into account that this game also features a password system, so you will actually only have to start the level from the beginning and not the whole game as such.

Moving on to talk about the gameplay, Bloodlines decides to take an even more classic scheme that Rondo of Blood had already taken, and to be honest, I'm a bit disappointed, because it doesn't feel nearly as polished or satisfying to play. Controlling John feels very clunky due to how limited his mobility is and also how weird his jumping and walking animations are, you can only attack forwards, downwards and diagonally upwards (which I imagine was only implemented because of the swinging mechanics), and in this game you can't instantly jump down stairs either, I dare say it feels like a complete downgrade from Super Castlevania IV and Rondo of Blood, I'd go as far as to say that Simon in the remake for Sharp X68000 computers feels even better to control. It's not too bad, as it plays similar to the NES Castlevania and those still have fun gameplay, but it does feel like a step backwards coming from games that had presented more fun propositions.

Even so, it's not all bad, because this Castlevania does have some good new mechanics that are pretty cool. For starters, the swinging mechanic that I mentioned before is really fun to use, because while swinging you inflict damage to the enemies you touch and you are invincible, plus swinging can also reach more places. Another addition that I also like is the new maximum level of the whip, which is like a super powerful blue whip of energy that destroys all enemies very easily, the disadvantage, you can lose this upgrade just by receiving a hit, so it is something that ironically will only be useful when you have enough experience in the game, as a way to reward the player's skill. And finally, we can power up all the sub-weapons using ↑+C, which is pretty cool.

Ironically, one aspect where this game does feel very Castlevania is in its music. This was the first Castlevania game to feature the compositions of Michiru Yamane (the composer of Symphony of the Night and subsequent games), and for her first soundtrack in the franchise it was a very good one indeed. Her style completely nails the Castlevania setting; they have that touch of classical style music combined with that moving and catchy touch.

Conclusion
Although in some ways it feels like a step backwards for the franchise, making it the weakest of the good Castlevania games for me, it's still a very solid game, and still an interesting take on the classic Castlevania formula.

Katamari is the purest expression of the concept of “video games”.

" Alright we're in charge of localizing this, what's the story like again? "

" The world in the near future reached such a stage of late unregulated liberalism that 2 companies have more power than every other nation combined, and they declare war against one another because they would rather destroy half the world than not have a total market monopoly. "

" Hmmm how about we change that so that capitalism is good actually and there's a shadow government manipulating those companies who are innocenet and don't know any better (also their leader is named Aurora, thats important), and when you beat them... you achieve eternal world peace? "

" Sure. "

A '90s PSX Life Sim I posted a song of on my music channel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msjpAsvJ5XU

JP-only, but great if you like life sims!

You play as a boy staying at his cousin's(?) bakery on a floating island for the summer. Each day you'll deliver bread to townspeople. Occasionally you can trigger events to get to know some of the girls better. It's typical genre fare, but feels less stiff than your harvest moon - characters all run around on their daily cycles and you often have to chase people down. Events trigger seemingly out of nowhere. It's confusing but works.

I like the game's lore. It's a floating island, but if you explore the tunnels below the surface you'll see distant ruins in chasms below you - out of reach... Complete with forboding music, this makes for some surprising atmosphere. I wasn't able to discover the lore behind it - alongside some suspicious/shifty characters - but I assumed that was all intentional. There are violent creatures in the outskirts of town, you can literally Die... some characters are witches with spooky cavern labs. it felt refreshing to be as in the dark as I presumed the villagers were, about the history of their island.

Certainly we can say the same is true of many of the places we live in. My hometown used to store missiles during the cold war, before that it was a training airfield for WW2... and today it's just soccer fields.

There's points to criticize in DDP but overall it's memorable and ultimately that's all I really care about. As you meet new characters and learn terms, you can ask other characters about other people, or the terms. Of course, most characters go "??? I don't know???" but on occasion you get a detailed response and it sheds light on some social relations of the character. Could've used a design pass or two but I appreciate it nonetheless.



While the game is in fact pretty good all around, I have two major points of critique: first and foremost the difficulty of this game spikes harder than an olympic volleyball player, leading to a difficulty curve that ranges from piss easy to CBT enhanced in the multiplayer hub, while the singleplayer content is better all around there are a few quests such as the frenzied brachydios that love kicking your nutsack in. My second critique of this game is the legacy it left behind, this game was the first to introduce much of the problematic gen 5 mechanics, such as more reactive monster AI that devalues positioning and proactive play, and slot machine gear that is meant to be grinded ad nauseum, and a focus on making the monster helpless as a means to get in damage, thus forcing monsters to be very aggressive with fewer openings for proactive play and turnpunishes; which are a huge part of the older titles. As a result, I have taken a half star off, because the success of this game taught Capcom the wrong lessons that have led to the current state of Monster Hunter being less fun than the older games. Fight me nostalgia nerds.

just a note, I put down my completion date as when I beat the jhen mohran village quest. in terms of guild quests I'm pretty early on in high rank still, so I have yet to encounter deviljho, amatsu, or any of the hidden mhfu monsters. I'm at over 60 hours now tho so I feel like my opinion on the game isn't gonna change much from here on out

+great monster variety. you get the virtually all the new additions from tri, a couple new monsters (zinogre and duramboros in particular are great fights, fuck nibelsnarf), and some good returning wyverns like nargacuda and tigrex
+the feudal japan theme that yukumo village has is so gorgeous, it's a nice area to look around in. obviously it doesn't affect the gameplay very much but it's lovely, with great music as well
+the hot spring is a nice touch to streamline quest preparation... since its benefits are also shared between hunters, it's extremely handy when playing online, esp when trying to grind through low rank
+online is still bustling through hunsterverse, I think I usually see about 50-60 people online at any given time. obviously it's difficult to play this game ad hoc now, but the fanbase has done an amazing job keeping online play for this going
+getting to play the hd version on emulator is such a treat, for one because it runs extremely well (psp emulation is very mature) but also because the original textures have been replaced with hi-res or touched-up variants, making this game look just as good as entries like mhgu or mh3u
+I never played far enough in mh3u to get to underwater combat but regardless I'm glad there's a 3rd gen game that doesn't have it at all, it doesn't seem fun
+cross-promotional free dlc with metal gear solid where you can unlock big boss and the boss costumes....
+overall it's hard for me to list off exactly I like about this game so much since it's just monster hunter, but something about this one really sucked me in. I'm glad this has been the first old-school MH game I've sunken time into as everything so is streamlined while still retaining a wide variety of weapons, monsters, and hunts.
+there's a lot of QoL upgrades here that I can't really speak to since I never played tri or mhfu, but I'll list them off here: the farm is streamlined (though still a bit of a chore), weapon classes that weren't in tri like bow and GL got brought back, and you can now send a load of items back to the village once per quest, just to name a few

-village quests are annoying to prepare for, as there's no hot springs or item box accessible after you've accepted a quest. you have to run into the guild hall, use the hot springs, switch out your items, and then finally exit to go accept the village quest. very annoying
-since this is pre-mh4 the areas are rather flat. not something that really detracts from the experience too much but it does make the game a little less dynamic
-why is it so hard to uncrouch.....
-the small monsters can really be a pain in this one, I know they aggro less than in the super old ones but they're still a nuisance here, esp ones that can bowl you over from behind

mhw was the first one I played and the one that helped me understand how this series should be played, but this game has been where I actually can't stop playing it and want to keep getting better and better stuff. thanks to the (partial) english translation, the HD version rip, ppsspp, and hunsterverse, this game is honestly even better to play now with right-stick camera controls, free online play, high-resolution rendering, and so much more; thank god for preservationists. the gameplay loop is so addicting here and everything seems to fall into place just perfectly. I'll definitely be playing this one for quite a while longer, hopefully to the point where I can face amatsu, or even further beyond that.

I have to turn the game off whenever there's a cutscene or else I end up rewatching the entire trilogy

protect M2 by any means necessary. only play 7MT.

a better-than-arcade-perfect port of Service Games Amusement Machine Research & Development #2's rawest racing experience, down to the checkerboard pseudo-transparent shadows. if you've played/loved ANY Sega AM2 or Amusement Vision game in the post Model 1 era, and have yet to play virtua racing?? what are you even doing?? VR effectively laid the groundwork for most of sega's non-sonic team output up until around 2006, brutal tracks that end up being more about a race against time than a race against others, where any mistake (improper line/cornering, any collision) at all will lead you further and further from first place. it has more composed music-for-the-sake-of-being-music than what one would experience as an F1 driver, but the synthesized engine sounds, tire squeals and exhaust pops are a form of music themselves. timeless, borderline abstract presentation that wasn't matched by any of it contemporaries or any of its successors. the only reason there isn't a shitload of dust on my switch. raw, focused racing for 5 minutes at a time.

however, none of the tracks here even come close to the elegance of daytona usa's dinosaur canyon, but frankly few ever will (wipeout hd's chengou project comes very close to being as good as dinosaur canyon)