Even after all this time this games emotional beats still hit hard, if not harder, than when it first released, especially with the release of Part 2 and everything we know that happens in that game. It really adds a whole new perspective to the ending and the weight of Joels decision, and Ellies relationship to him in the sequel.

There was a lot of discussion on the neccesity and pricing of the remake, some of which I agree with, but after experiencing it first hand I can fully say it was worth it. It's drop dead gorgeous (and some iffy performance on PC which has been mostly ironed out) just brings so much more life to these characters and the world.

Act 1 is a near perfect DnD adventure full of fun dialogue/interactions and short quest and experience. Act 2 while more linear I find has a much more interesting setting/story and is where the game truly starts. And then act 3 happens and it loses all steam, some awful design decisions that make you feel like you need to rush in the worst way mixed with some truly awful designed encounters and quest really make the last and longest chapter feel like a total slog.

It really left a bitter memory of the game and makes me not want to replay it anytime soon, a shame cause the rest is really damn good.

Honestly, having finally finished Dead Rising 2, it’s kind of a wash as to which of the games is better- there’s an admirable attempt to shore up some of the balancing issues of the first but it never really lands with the same force of its predecessor.

I guess the major thing is the setting itself- Fortune City feels like a fundamentally less compelling location to learn, its layout is too massive to be inviting to casually explore, and most of your objectives clustered around the eastern side and center of the map. Most crucially, it’s a location that provides less of the escapist thrill that Dead Rising 1 so neatly tapped into by giving you free reign over a shopping mall. In that, there was a great feel to window shopping for your next improvised weapon or collectible- what would you do in a zombie apocalypse?- here it’s way less interesting to run through the blur of the different casinos and exotic stores, big chunks of the map feeling redundant to explore when they offer such similar items and attractions.

It’s ostensibly made up for by the new combo weapon system, where two random items can be combined to make some freakish killing tool, but it ends up being a little flat in practice- instead of picking up a sledgehammer or an ax for their crowd control and damage, you pick up both and combine the two into one weapon that’s good for crowd control and damage, a tunnel vision setting in where you should only grab items designated with the blue “combo” icon and can safely disregard the rest.

Despite all that, its fundamental interactions are a lot stronger this time around. You’re given the same open-ended objectives of killing psychopaths and rescuing groups of survivors, but because there’s nothing so dominant as the chainsaws from DR1 (at least, that I could find) fights demand a bit more thought: of carving out enough time to actually fight them properly, and doing enough prep work in terms of weapons and healing items to successfully outlast the boss. Actually describing the process of the fights-“you have to avoid their telegraphed attacks! and find space to heal!”- is no great thing, but this simple process is something you need to engage with much more honestly, and is a consistent source of tension throughout. Even the survivors, who are so docile and durable as to remove most of the challenge of escorting them entirely, get some extra utility if you opt to use them as extra firepower on some of the tougher encounters. Doesn’t have some of the near-transcendent upsets of the original, but is able to maintain a steady pulse for the duration.

There are some other good additions to the setting as well, with inclusion of cash and the doses of the drug Zombrex serving as meaningful resources to work towards in the longer stretches of downtime, and speak to a game that nicely follows-up the chaos of the original; a national tragedy turned into a routine protocol that’s been co-opted and monetized from every angle- where the first game descended into complete anarchy, here it’s business a semi-usual, hitting up slot machines in the hopes of winning big, and agonizing over a system that makes grotesque profits on a life-saving drug. The story proper is a little dry, and Chuck with his more defined history and motivation, doesn’t fit as neatly into the role of a player avatar as Frank did, but as with the rest of the game it's bolstered by these smart background details.

A big missed opportunity that’s really going to stick with me is with the "Terror is Reality" gameshow that appears briefly in the intro and serves as an excuse for the supplemental online mode- easy to imagine how it could’ve been interwoven with the rest the game, serving as an easy justification to flood the map with a new horde of adrenaline-junkie psychos in the later days, and doubly a waste given how nicely it could’ve played homage the gladiatorial setting of Dead Rising’s spiritual predecessor, Shadow of Rome. And, semi-related, but Chuck’s BMX background feels similarly underused as well, the Fortune City strip not offering a great playspace for tricks, and the big, climatic-feeling setpiece where you chase after a train coming far too early in the story. Would be a much better lead-in to the finale than the repeated fetch quest in overtime mode.

Still floored that the best climax to any of these games is in the Case Zero DLC, where you’re pulled away to help save another father-daughter pair with only minutes to spare before your own race through a quarantine checkpoint. Ties together all its themes and honors the mechanical identity of the series in a way no other Dead Rising game manages to.

I was really having fun with this. It's set up like a TV show; broken into episodes complete with recaps and previews and credits for each chapter. It's a lot of fun, over the top nonsense, like a guy punching a guy so hard it breaks the entire planet in half. Even though it has a lot of QTE-laden cutscenes I was really enjoying the wild characters and art style.

Uuuuuuntil chapter 10. In this scene, apropos of nothing, our hero visits some sort of hot springs resort. There the player is treated to a first-person interactive scene in which he first spends time ogling the staff, then moves quickly on to exposing himself, before finally just straight up sexually assaulting a service worker. But don't worry, because it's all played for laughs! Technically it's only an attempted assault, because he's comically punched by his father figure as a "Denied!" achievement pops.

I just don't know. This is so normalized I couldn't even find mention of it in any reviews. The IGN review, written by a woman, specifically mentions the scene but carefully leaves out the attempted assault. Instead it's described as "the objective is to stop Asura from staring for too long at the generous assets of a hot-springs attendant" which as far as I can tell is completely false; you cannot progress in the game until you've gone through the whole menu of sex pest behaviors.

Like I didn't just fall off the fucking redneck truck I know women have always had it bad. But the misogyny in some of these Japanese games in particular feels almost compulsory. It's like there's some regulatory body that comes through and is like, "You allowed the player to go 5 hours without being horrible in some fucked up regressive way to a woman. Back to the drawing board!" From my many minutes of googling about it I know everything about how shitty it is to be a woman in Japan. Obviously nothing I do is going to change any of that, I just wish we as gamers were, like, slightly less inured to it.

Anyway, in Chapter 9, you're a badass demigod going through a wild narrative. In Chapter 11, you're a badass demigod going through a wild narrative, and for no particular reason, a hilarious wannabe rapist! Somehow the experience lost its luster once I realized I was playing as Donald Trump's self-image.

The old Resident Evil is dying, and a new Resident Evil struggles to be born; now is the time of zombies.

I don't think that this exists in the space that it wants to. It's too linear and not strict enough to play like Resident Evil 2; it's not fun and frenetic enough to play like Resident Evil 4. It exists in this in-between area of not really living up to what came before, and it fails to sufficiently set the stage for what's to come. Between the linearity, the immense amount of resources you're constantly being given, and the frequent scripted sequences that consist of little more than holding forward and the run button, Resident Evil 3 Remake more closely resembles Resident Evil 6 than it does any other game in the series. I hope you haven't gotten sick of the words Resident Evil yet.

This is a game with zero restraint. Jill walks into the sewers with a full stack of shotgun shells to pump into the faces of the hunter gammas with their instant kill attacks. Carlos starts his side of the story with an assault rifle(!) that holds 30 rounds in a magazine(!!) and a reserve 200 rounds(!!!) in his pouches. Both characters rely on a counter mechanic that's both completely broken and often useless in equal measure; either there's a swarm of zombies in front of you and dodging one will throw you directly into the next one, or there's just a single zombie and there's no reason not to fish for the perfect dodge so that you can auto-aim onto their heads for easy crits. Just about everything that isn't a standard zombie or Nemesis — yes, Nemesis is only about as dangerous as a standard zombie — has an attack that instantly kills you, but typewriters are fucking everywhere. Often the most optimal play is to walk through an area, fish for as many dodges as you can get, and then save for free once you clear a couple of rooms. Sure, you'll probably fuck your dodge up and die, but dying will never actually cost you more than a couple of minutes. Nothing is threatening, mechanically or narratively.

I've seen a lot of complaints that the remake ruins Jill's character, and I'm not entirely sure that's true, because Jill Valentine is a different character in every single game that she's been in. I'm not convinced that Capcom has ever had any idea what they want her to be. The deepest characterization she's ever gotten was in the original Resident Evil, where she was a sort-of parallel to Chris; she was smart, and a skilled pianist, and vaguely nice. From there, though, I don't think she's ever had anything consistent enough that you could call a "character": Resident Evil 5 turns her into a brainwashed babe in a bodysuit; Revelations makes her into something akin to Batman from the Arkham games, complete with Detective Mode; Death Island ends with Chris remarking that he's glad to have "the old Jill back", but which Jill he's talking about is left as an exercise for the viewer. And, in keeping with this pattern, she's a different character in Resident Evil 3 Remake as well. I've given you a lot of preamble to lead into the fact that I don't really care for the way she's written here. There's just something about the glib quipping that constantly undercuts the severity of the situation everyone is in. Nemesis stumbles out of a burning alleyway into a river and Jill practically looks to camera like Office Jim and says "bitch can't even swim". She doesn't really seem to give a fuck about Nemesis at all. I mean, I get it, considering how you can lob one grenade at his feet to instantly down him, or just walk away at a brisk pace to lose him completely, but I'm hardly sold on the idea that I should be afraid of him when our protagonist is rolling her eyes whenever he's on-screen. People say that she swears too much, or that she's too rude to Carlos when she finds out he's Umbrella, but I don't think those are at all the problem. It's no surprise that everyone seems to have universally attached themselves to Carlos, largely because he's always ready to throw himself back into the fray, he can crack a joke, he's a stone-cold professional — all things that I imagine Jill isn't in this solely because they didn't want to have two characters with the same personalities, and not because they thought it made sense in-universe.

In a series that already isn't renowned for being well-written, the writing in this is poor. There are just so many bad lines in this. The aforementioned quip about bitches who need to be taught how to swim is one, but it stands shoulder-to-shoulder with other complete misfires like "get off my train, shitbird!" and "I'm goddamn Nathaniel Bard!". Bard himself is easily the worst part of the game; it's not enough that his rant to the nurse is written like a PSA about workplace harassment, but his voice actor is fucking terrible. The lines he's given are trash, but he is giving by-far one of the worst performances I've heard in a AAA game in a long while. It's no coincidence that Mikhail is also doing a really bad, forced Slavic accent, because it's the same fucking guy doing both voices. I don't know how he made it through casting for two different characters. It probably shouldn't be a surprise that this is a Bang Zoom! production, because this is dubbed exactly like a bad seasonal anime, all the way down to the lip flaps regularly not even matching up. Half of the in-engine cutscenes look like Kung-Pow.

The game as a whole isn't terrible, but I would have been nervous if I had played this after the Resident Evil 2 Remake and before Resident Evil 4 Remake. It's clear that the team who worked on this didn't really understand why Resident Evil 2 worked. It wasn't just because the hallways were tight and the inventory was restrictive; it was how it kept making safe areas unsafe, how Mr. X was practically invincible and constantly pursuing you so that you couldn't afford to take it slow, how one zombie represented a drain on your limited resources even if you played it optimally. The irony that the game that introduced Nemesis does Nemesis worse than its predecessor.

It's not really worth recommending to people who liked Resident Evil 2, and it's not worth recommending to people who liked Resident Evil 4. It's a game that doesn't know what it should be, and some very obvious budget and time restrictions make this feel more like a bad piece of DLC rather than a standalone sequel to one of the best releases of the past decade.

I'll have to check out Resident Evil 3: Nemesis now, because I'm curious just how much was lost in remaking it.

When you go into a corridor simulator hoping it's not really a corridor simulator so you can prove people wrong, but it ends up actually being a corridor simulator.

Final Fantasy XIII... one of the most discussed games in the series, and not usually in a positive way. I'd heard so many extreme opinions on this game that I really wasn't sure what to expect, who to believe, how exaggerated the opinions were etc etc—all I knew for sure is that it had a banger soundtrack and cool science fantasy aesthetic. So did I end up liking it? Yeah, mostly. People aren't lying about its flaws, and it's a very odd game in a lot of respects, but personally I think this is one of the better games in the series and has a lot of strong aspects that push through its weaknesses. Now, let's get into specifics!

Yep, corridors. Coming from FFXII, I wasn't exactly against a more linear game, especially after enjoying how FFX handled that, but... FFXIII is really fucking linear. Not only is almost every dungeon a corridor with the odd split to lead you to a dead end of treasure, but there are no towns, no minigames, practically no npcs to chat with, no real sidequests for the vast majority of the game—it's absolutely desolate. All you have is combat, combat, combat. It's a little much. The worst example of this is easily the Gapra Whitewood, an absurdly long and repetitive dungeon with little in the way of cutscenes or unique environments, and an area I could not blame anyone from dropping the game on the spot. I think all this would have been an absolute deal breaker if it weren't for two very important caveats: firstly, the presentation of this game is GORGEOUS. Each area looks beyond stunning and screams "this is what true fantasy should look like!" with its dazzling spectacles, landscapes, abstract fantastical constructs, and this is all further enhanced by the ethereal soundtrack that boasts some of the greatest music in the series with some of the greatest music in gaming.

Secondly, the combat is SO. GOOD. By the time I unlocked paradigm shifts I legit struggled to stop playing this game, the high level strategic depth of this combat is crazy and encourages a completely different level of thinking than I'm used to in other RPGs. Instead of instructing your party members in individual actions, whether via menus or action commands, you are instead instructing their job stances and rapidly adjusting these on the fly. There's the option to input your own commands manually for your lead character, but I imagine this is more useful for high level play, as I found auto battle to be very intelligent and did what I wanted 99% of the time. Unfortunately, FF13 kind of weighs down its own combat with its stubborn insistence on near-complete synergy between gameplay and story—the structure of its narrative inevitably forces you into specific parties, often duos of two, and after experiencing a party of three the battles feel so much worse, limiting you significantly in strategy. I assume part of the intention was to train you on the pros/cons of different role combinations and encourage mastery, but it's simply overkill how long it takes to get the training wheels off to return to a party of three.

Buuut on the positive side, this game is actually pretty hard. I constantly got close to/reached the crystarium cap for each section, and still had to think really hard on the bosses to not get absolutely swept. It forces you to engage in all its systems and not look away for a second, or else your party may find itself quite dead! In theory you would think that healing you completely after every battle and being able to instantly restart each one on failure would make the game easy, but this is the completely opposite, as the developers use this to make every single basic mob fight very challenging, emphasising difficulty less on resource management/stamina and more on in the moment strategy. It's actually pretty genius, and ticks off an important part of game design psychology that I feel many games do not understand—the easier and faster you make it for a player to continue after failure, the more encouraged they'll be to push through challenges. As a dopamine-deficient individual, that applies triply to me, making games with overly long restart times/punishing checkpoints nearly unplayable without save states, so I appreciate the lengths FF13 goes to offer a seamless experience.

Once you hit That One Area where the gameplay really opens up, well that's where it really shined for me, I spent like 15 hours in that place before moving on with the story. I'm really excited to get back and do the postgame hunts there, though I don't think I'm quite insane enough to 5 star all of them. It's also quite fun once you understand how the equipment system actually works (because the game sure doesn't do a good job at explaining it), and you can give your party members neat little abilities and stat boosts to enhance their combat. Not to mention the crystarium is deceptively linear, and actually gives you a decent bit of freedom in what to focus on, especially the further you get into the game.

So yeah, gameplay was a big hit for me. Big enough for me to spend like 35 hours in a corridor simulator and somehow enjoy it. Of course there's a few other weaknesses such as repetitive enemy designs, weapons that feel designed to make you hate playing as certain characters due to their negative synergy with said character, etc etc, but overall I don't think any of these were big enough to detract from my enjoyment of the overall systems.

Now... for the characters! And story! Uhhh, I'm not even going to bother talking about this without spoilers, so


SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE

I'll cut right to the chase: the journey of FFXIII is extremely character-focused, to the point of being actively detrimental to the world building, plot and lore. This is a very positive aspect of the game that enamoured me, as I love a good cast of flawed human beings that learn to be better through interpersonal conflicts and facing their worst fears in the worst manner possible. This is where FFXIII truly thrives, and I need to go through each character one-by-one to fully get my thoughts across.

Starting with Lightning, on the surface she feels like the sequel to Squall who was the sequel to Cloud, but this shallow preconception quickly vanished for me as it shone a light on her deeper issues. At her core Lightning is a person who wishes to come across as strong, craves a goal that will allow her to pursue a linear course of action without having to confront her inner demons, and deeply loves her sister—which causes her no end of grief when she's confronted with the fact that she didn't listen to her, and refused to help in her time of need. This regret is what drives her to seek revenge against the Sanctum, lest she drives herself to despair in self-loathing. Her arc throughout the game is less about her changing as a person, and more about her reconsidering her relationships with others: specifically Snow, Serah and Hope.

This leads right into Snow, Lightning's direct foil. Unlike her own cynical nature, his ideals are naïve to the point of being detrimental and hurting others, with both their stubbornness leading to many conflicts throughout the game. Lightning treats Snow as an outlet to blame for Serah's fate, but after their long journey together they develop an understanding and Lightning views Snow's unyielding optimism as a plus, accepting that him and Serah are a perfect match. A key moment for Snow is during the finale where he's confronted with his gang, and they judge him not by his status as a l'cie but by the hero they've always known—a theme I'll cover in more depth later.

Of course, you can't talk about Snow's arc without Hope. I sort of get criticisms of his arc to an extent, as yes it is born from a misunderstanding of Snow's intentions, but honestly I found it pretty organic and thought they did a good job at presenting the misunderstanding, as well as conveying why Hope would continue to blame Snow even after it becomes decently clear that he's a good guy that regretted the death of his mother. The build up of Hope's loathing for Snow leads to an absolutely fantastic climax where Hope is about to kill Snow, they both get blasted away, and Snow still saves Hope's life without hesitation after realising he was the son of the woman he couldn't protect, which of course forces Hope to understand Snow's true nature, while this entire ideal gets Snow to confront his naivety and admit he needs to change.

This all evidently mirrors the relationship between Sazh and Vanille: Sazh regrets nothing more than having his son become a Cocoon l'cie, and Vanille desperately tries to hide her responsibility in the matter. And it's not just a matter of her blaming herself for something that wasn't really her responsibility—no, Vanille indirectly caused this when she choose to lie to Fang, and set these events in motion. While you can't necessarily entirely blame her for the outcome, it's also clear that she holds some responsibility and should be held accountable: something she realises more than anyone. When Sazh is finally confronted with the truth after his son tragically turns to crystal, he in turn realises that killing Vanille will accomplish nothing, and she must atone for her mistakes.

Vanille's relationship with Fang is a bit of a similar story: as mentioned, Vanille hides the truth from Fang in a presumptuous attempt to stop her from feeling responsible for becoming Ragnarok, which Fang eventually works out on her own and hashes it out with her girlfriend, before they tearfully embrace. Now in terms of Fang herself, she's admittedly a weak link due to being more of an extension of Vanille than driven by a particular goal like other members of the cast, but I do think she gets a cool moment in the finale where she turns against everything they had built until that point in an attempt to save Vanille. Unfortunately the portrayal of this moment is... really bizarre, more on that later.

As I've just demonstrated, the strength of this cast is in the way they connect to each other—no character develops on their own, and their changes/personal revelations are instead the result of interpersonal conflicts that are born from many weaknesses. This may be a very fundamental aspect of storytelling, yes, but the way FF13 handles it is exceptional and is a masterclass in developing a complex cast with nuanced relationships that organically interweave with their growth. Oh and it has a found family dynamic. I love found family dynamics!

As for the rest of the cast... well they do exist. I think Hope's dad is a neat milestone in Hope's arc, and Serah is pretty fleshed out for her limited screen time, though perhaps more in terms of her importance to other characters. The rest... eh. They serve their roles, but they aren't much more beyond that. This applies to the antagonists: the most interesting one is probably Cid, but sadly he is rather limited in his appearances, so there's only so much I have to work with here.

This intrinsically links to two things—the rather... bizarre nature the plot unfolds, and the incredibly shallow world we are presented. Let's start with the latter: Cocoon does not feel lived in at all. This is potentially a consequence of not being able to explore any towns, but I think it goes beyond that—not only am I not given any reason to care about the citizens of this place, but I also struggle to even conceive their existence. What's the everyday life of a Cocoon citizen? How does their government function beyond providing necessities/convenient propaganda for good ol' Barty? What do the effects of the seemingly-advanced technology have on society? What's the culture of the world, is it monolithic or does each town have its own customs and heritage? While I understand that they are trying to portray Cocoon as a controlled zoo of the fal'Cie's making where humanity are simple livestock, there's only so much you can get away with before the citizens of the world literally stop feeling human and only exist as cardboard narrative props. It takes the advice "a story and its world only matter because of the characters within it" to its logical extreme by making it almost solely exist for the purpose of driving the characters along their journey, and doesn't feel like it exists outside of that.

That last part applies to the plot too. There are many developments in the plot, and a lot of them are pretty interesting, most importantly serving to give the characters chances at growth and to drive them to their destination. To an extent, the linearity of the plot makes sense as Barty is quite literally guiding their journey from start to finish, controlling their free will with the Focus they have been delivered, promising them a definite fate they cannot avoid unless they become mindless monsters. In a sense, Barty is quite a devious antagonist with how he gets the party to do exactly what he wants at every turn, but it gets to the point where it's really exhausting seeing this happen over and over again, and I really felt the lack of the party's agency in the world and its plot even in the final chapter, which is truly wild lol.

Speaking of the lategame plot... what happened? For most of the game the story does feel well constructed in the ways that count, but by the time I reached Oerba village, it started to wear thin and felt as if the budget was rapidly running out. The setting of Oerba is absolutely excellent, enhanced by the evocative Dust to Dust playing in the background, along with many many bits of flavour text to give you an idea of its past culture, but... is it just me or did Vanille and Fang barely talk about the place??? We never really get specifics on their lives there (beyond Vanille's cute robot quest), and Fang in particular I have zero understanding of how she lived there, it feels like only Vanille came from this place and Fang is her imaginary girlfriend. Super disappointing to be rushed through Oerba and get so little in terms of dialogue when it should have been one of the most impactful moments in the game (which tbf, it still is even in its gutted state).

This, however, is nothing compared to the finale that follows. We are rushed back straight to Eden, herded all the way to Orphan with some brief glimpses of the odd lucky side characters that don't get yeeted off screen (assuming they even appear at all), and whoop whoop, final dungeon here we go. It does make sense that Barty would construct their journey this way, but does it make for an interesting story? I sure don't think so. It especially bothered me how half-arsed Cid's 'conclusion' was, along with his vice-captain or whatever his name was, I guess he became one of those wacky death spamming monsters ¯\(ツ)/¯

The finale itself gives a frankly dissatisfying resolution for Barty (congrats on accomplishing your goal...?), Orphan appears as an interesting metaphor for an aborted fetus that represents the collective contradiction of all Cocoon fal'Cie and blablablabla, I wish I could care about it but the execution is so all over the place. The party are placed in the most impossible situation ever, even more so than before, making me wonder how on earth they'll make it out... and they just do??? Because they get the fancy Fang brand for uh, reasons. I had to do some research because these events left me so confused—turns out Fang likely intended to prevent the party from stopping her from killing Orphan, but her attack ended up being too powerful due to Orphan enhancing it (poorly signalled), which caused the party's brands to reach stage 13 (never explained in game) due to the physical/mental stress of the incident (poorly conveyed), and thus become cie'th. Then Etro (goddess only revealed in lore reward for beating superbosses) turns them back with fancy Fang brands that won't let them turn into cie'th (not explained and lazy deus ex machina), allowing them to defeat Orphan once and for all.

I think it's a cool idea that in the end they do end up fulfilling their inevitable Focus, but immediately after before turning to crystal they Cocoon, giving Fang and Vanille a huge moment before they turn to crystal in an eternal embrace, supporting the weight of Cocoon (as 'straight' 'friends' do). This is all awesome. But then after being turned to crystal, the rest of the party... get restored in hardly any time? The only possible way to understand this without getting into sequel shenanigans is through reading the in-game lore and ultimania, where you can work out that Etro once again deus ex machina'd them back to life, woohoo. I'm not sure what's worse, whether the scenario writers wrote themselves into a corner and made up Etro to solve it, or if they planned this all along and didn't deign it worthy to set up this rather convenient poorly telegraphed solution!

I guess I'll see if I feel differently after playing the rest of the trilogy, but from this game alone, the finale is such a disappointing clusterfuck after and otherwise strong story up until then.

SPOILER SECTION ENDS HERE

Music. The music in this game is absolutely incredible, Hamauzu proves himself as a very worthy successor to Uematsu with his unique style, further evolving from his work in FFX. Saber's Edge is one of the coolest boss themes I've ever heard, Sunleth Waterscape and Archylte Steppe are beautiful area music, and there's just so many amazing event themes that really set the tone. I can't wait to hear more of his work in the sequels, even if he isn't the sole composer for them. FF sure never misses on music.

But yeah to sum it up, I really like FF13. The gameplay is fantastic and unique, graphics are gorgeous, characters are all very well constructed and engaging, and the soundtrack is a masterpiece. It's unfortunate it has some really major flaws, such as a messy finale, shallow world building, corridor structure, and rather weak side cast/villains, that really bring a game that should have been so much better down, and I can see why this game is so divisive. Despite all that, it says a lot that I was able to write so much about the story, it shows I did genuinely care enough about it to feel strongly about my criticisms. I think I land more on the positive side overall in terms of opinions, but sadly not as much as I hoped going into this game.

What a great little puzzle game! You're a stickman solving platformer puzzles to get from one puzzle to the next all for some mysterious purpose.

It's a straight forward game with almost no side puzzles or secrets or multiple endings.

The ending is a bit of a trip and an extremely clever idea, but it does leave a ton of open questions, none of which are answered. That's probably where it lost points for me, the ending sets up something amazing but then just sort of...ends. I wish there was more meat there at the end of the game.

Still, what a cute, wonderful game! 4/5

Despite what the propaganda might tell you otherwise, there is NO game more new, OR super than this one. Finally the days of shoveling slop and goop since (checks shelf) 2012? Well they’re hopefully done and buried, sorry to all the New Super Mario Bros. 2 lovers, genuinely, it’s just my go to for Mario’s era of crud.

It’s crazy that they went from the textbook definition of safe with NSMB to this, it feels like it would be easier to name what wasn’t new about this game, and I probably won’t even do that! Who cares! I love this game! To contain my love for it though I should probably actually say something about it, like how visually vibrant and expressive this game is. I’ve seen a lot of people compare it directly to NSMB which IS really funny, but even despite how unimaginative and dull those games visuals were (besides the first 2) this game is still fucking beautiful even when not compared to other games in the series, especially with this fucking elephant. The elephant is probably one of the best things they’ve ever made for a Mario game, I was almost sad that there were only a few new power ups in this game but it didn’t even matter because they’re all pretty great and useful and a lot of interesting ways, but the point with the elephant is how much attention was given to it. The unique animations for doing almost anything as an elephant like going through doors or down pipes, or the fact that the music shifts dynamically for when you’re an elephant is just lovely.

Speaking of music… music? When was the last time a 2d Mario game had more than 3 songs that already existed 30 years prior? You got a pass on that once, not 4 times. Though the music in those games is totally fine for me it was just totally fine. Serviceable. Can barely remember anything besides the one song they never. stop. using. This games soundtrack is fucking GREAT, and huge! It’s like 200 tracks including jingles and whatnot, so there are probably around like 150 actual songs, most of which are completely original. It has the best 1-1 theme, it has the best second stage just in general, the final boss without saying anything about it really emphasizes the 2 points I’ve made to an extreme degree. I’ve just been listening to it since I beat it pretty much and it’s just delightful, brings a smile to my stupid face. Also related to music and sound, your reward for 100%’ing the game is great. I’ve seen people complain about it and I think for most games and especially games like this, when you get 100% most people are not gonna be playing it much if at all after the fact, for a decent amount of time. So I think for what it is it’s perfect, it’s a very charming reward and remember these games are pretty much made for 40 year olds to play with their 5 year old children and those 5 year old children will love this shit. Even if you’re a group of friends playing together it’s still just so much fun, this goes for the game as a whole.

A few other ancillary things, I thought the online would be a little underwhelming since they seemingly could have put “true” online co-op in the game pretty easily, which I still think would be a good thing, but I actually ended up loving the way the online works. Just playing together with random people and emoting to each other and helping each other and fucking around and finishing the stage together is actually really fun. Standees are actually useful and you will forever love people that actually used them properly, and just the fact that you still can play online with your friends is great, being ghosts is just part of that Halloween charm I guess. I might even just be happier with it how it is versus having it be “proper”. Peach not being the boring damsel anymore is pretty fun since it’s just bowser “fucking shit up” now… in his own special way. Having the other playable characters was great, I initially was saying to myself “but I HAVE to be Mario, it wouldn’t be right” I switched his dumb ass out for Toadette stage 2 good RIDDANCE. It is weird that Yoshi is just the easy mode but not as easy as Nabbit easy mode, but I also don’t care because Yoshi has almost never been as expressive in any game before… almost. He does look a little fried though, something’s definitely going on with him. The only real complaint I could possibly make isn’t even a complaint, mores being spoiled by 3D Land/World but I do wish there was a bonus world in this game, besides the secret world which is also really good. Fuck that final final act though, easily the most trouble I’ve had with one of these 100% stages, thank you to the Luigi named srpoopalot I may have never made it out without your kind patronage.

In short I like Mario. I was a child at one point after all so it’s almost mandatory. Adults like Mario too, did you know that? Crazy that they can make games for 5 year olds also really fun for 25 year olds. Also one more thing that has been fucking pounding along in my mind the last couple days, this game was directed by Shiro Mouri who went from programmer on a handful of pretty non-mentionables minus a couple, to co-directing a link between worlds and then to directing this? So this guy co-directed one of the best Zelda games and directed one of the best Mario games and had no other roles besides programming? (besides directing NSMBUD but I like to think everyone in that office was fucking chain smoking for weeks because no one gave a fuck) Guys, your kitchen is fucking DUSTY let this guy in there like 2 or 3 more times PLEASE. If you’re like me and you’ve been on your knees for the last 12 years crying and begging for a NEW 2D Mario game then this is it. Like seriously, this is the best 1-1 song right?