8 reviews liked by nekomajokko


Went into a cave that seemed to go on forever, in the pitch black feeling my way around. While trying not to aggro saurians I went in a room that opened up in a suspicious way, so I stuck to the edge wall to go around just in case. My pawn, however, didn't get the memo: at some point a saurian had caught sight of someone in my party so they were in full attack mode, running straight into the middle of the room. about 5 seconds later I see a huge blue light silhouetting a goats head and a massive health bar appears. I have never run out of a room so fast.

This review contains spoilers

the entire dyne sequence is a perfect microcosm of every single problem with the reboot versions. barrett cant have his character moment because the games more interested in a) making every single character a Righteous Epic Hero Guy (so dyne spends the entire time after the fight shooting about 100 shinra soldiers), and b) so terrified you'll get bored because something hasnt happened in the last 5 minutes that immediately after dyne dies the game makes you do a pointless sweeper fight and an on-rails shooting section. dynes arc is like one of the most important subplots in all of ff7 to barretts character arc and they rush through it as fast as possible, mostly because they already removed all the point of any of his motivations in the first game (bc It Was Shinra's Fault The Explosion Was Like That, god forbid characters have moral ambiguity) so why bother.

i think yoshinori kitase should not be in charge of this franchise

Sometimes you just need...THREE MEN
URIANGER THANCRED ESTINIEN
We are three men
We're burly
We'll Do What You Want

The video game so good that it spoils you for all other action games for life. AND its yaoi

love to get backseated in a game with the complexity of a "put the shape in the hole" puzzle for toddlers

Bring back the fairy queen bring her back bring her back right now or I'll fire missiles out of my mouth

I can't believe it's actually worse than I've been led to believe

This game transformed me into a hamster on a wheel for like 5 straight hours and I came out of it with a headache and I'm terrified of ever opening it again

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