ninjaxc30
2011
Somehow feels blander than all the new soup games. Zero desire to stick a theme outside of “hey remember Mario 3?” Movement sucks, and this is where Mario games became extremely annoying to 100% and unlock the final level
Exceedingly mediocre, and the “impossible pack” DLC really shows Nintendo is incapable of designing fun but difficult levels
It’s the same exact thing. Challenges kinda rule though, wish they'd bring those back
2013
Solid ass game, feels great to control with five unique characters, and finally has unique enemies and environments. Only huge issue is these animals expect you to beat the game FIVE times to unlock the final level!! Are you serious miyamoto-san????
2017
Such an amazing game with an uncompromising primary mechanic and fast, fluid movement. Looks great, sounds great. Has overt nostalgia-baiting that's actually fun and interesting. The mandatory motion controls are insane but who cares, this coming out after years of corporate mario slop felt like Jesus had risen
2021
Somehow too short and too padded at the same time. Fury Bowser is cool but quickly turns into an annoyance rather than a threat. Mario goes Super Saiyan though so it does get points for that
2013
Completely and utterly incompetent. Combat approaches mediocrity but then awful bosses and some awful enemies ruin it entirely. Revolting in every other possible aspect, especially the abundance of unscripted walking sections and constant cutscenes that either show the next ten seconds of gameplay or zoom in on Dante’s ugly ass face so we know his reaction to every situation
miserable DLC to cap off a miserable game. against all odds they managed to make Vergil boring in both combat and personality. six missions and one of them is recycled. the only boss fight is recycled from the base game. disheartening that studios like this get bought out by Microsoft
Has Dick, it's peak. Surprisingly great atmosphere with the Elfman score
not the worst game ever, some decent platforming if you can withstand the music. only thing that really knocks it out of the park is that gay little dance he does when you get collectables
generally have a well-earned distaste for video game remakes, especially with how N. Sane Trilogy turned out. unlike that game, this game is pretty and the music isn't butchered. in fact, it's better than the original and one of my favorite games ever.
Beenox was smart. they knew that Naughty Dog already made the greatest kart racer of all time. what can they do? copy the tight controls, except make it faster and add more stuff. Beenox further developed mechanics like u-turning and blue flame, allowing you to use both with less restrictions. it makes the game fast as hell, while still feeling like you have complete control.
the tracks and roster are both great, and do something I wish more remakes would do: use the good from the bad in the good. sorry for the stroke. what I mean is, take characters or tracks from less than good Crash games and put them in a good game. they did this perfectly, reaching across Crash's entire (except Twinsanity) history. finally, I can play Nitro Kart tracks without falling asleep
there are definite issues: Activision are greedy little piggies that added microtransactions to buy inflated cosmetics, 30fps, and long load times being the big ones. playing on Switch emulator is the best option and fixes the former two, but sadly the load times still suck, some textures are N64 level shit, there's minor emulator bugs, and obviously there's no online. one day my endless prayers for a PC port will be answered.
they even added the placeholder line accidentally left in the original by having the character voice it himself!! that’s so cool! this game rules!!
Beenox was smart. they knew that Naughty Dog already made the greatest kart racer of all time. what can they do? copy the tight controls, except make it faster and add more stuff. Beenox further developed mechanics like u-turning and blue flame, allowing you to use both with less restrictions. it makes the game fast as hell, while still feeling like you have complete control.
the tracks and roster are both great, and do something I wish more remakes would do: use the good from the bad in the good. sorry for the stroke. what I mean is, take characters or tracks from less than good Crash games and put them in a good game. they did this perfectly, reaching across Crash's entire (except Twinsanity) history. finally, I can play Nitro Kart tracks without falling asleep
there are definite issues: Activision are greedy little piggies that added microtransactions to buy inflated cosmetics, 30fps, and long load times being the big ones. playing on Switch emulator is the best option and fixes the former two, but sadly the load times still suck, some textures are N64 level shit, there's minor emulator bugs, and obviously there's no online. one day my endless prayers for a PC port will be answered.
they even added the placeholder line accidentally left in the original by having the character voice it himself!! that’s so cool! this game rules!!
1999
how the hell did they manage to make a game about time-traveling dinosaurs so bland? this game has an incredibly boring setting, which is especially important in survival horror because of how much backtracking and memorization it requires. the game also fucks up so many things that the original Resident Evil nailed three years prior. the inventory system is absolutely abysmal. there's like seven mechanics associated with just storing items. hardly any variety in dinos, and one boss (that isn't even good). the files don't even save. if you are at a puzzle and want to reread the associated file, you have to GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO IT, using the useless map. all of these aspects were great in Resident Evil, made three years earlier by the same guy. Shinji my man how did this happen. the OST is good and some of the puzzles are fun and Regina is cool but man this game sucks
1993
decent. could use an orange scientist
2015
one of the few good "esports" games. some have called it the melee of car soccer games
entire game consists of mashing X and B and listening to David Spade attempt to voice act. over and over again. for hours. easily one of the most boring games I've ever played. I had more fun getting all the achievements in Devil May Cry 2. if you like this you probably own bluey merch