plastiquey
2022
the newest guantanamo bay torture device
2022
if you like fun fuck you. if you think games should be fun fuck you. if you want games to be fun fuck you. i think games should never be fun or even hint at the possibility of fun and if you think otherwise fuck you.
2016
i think i might need to go to rehab after this
2022
$40 for a broken expansion pack for boneworks. there's nothing different except the game is jankier, more unoptimized, and even uglier than the original with miniscule differences from the original (apparently you get a body swap mechanic sometime in the game but ive played for 4 hours and havent come across a single fucking thing related to this).
dont waste your money, just get boneworks.
dont waste your money, just get boneworks.
2007
the absolute distilled perfection of modern AAA first person shooters. i would dare call it the last hoorah of sci fi shooters because no game could ever fucking come close to this ever again, nothing could come close to the triple punch of the halo trilogy, and this game is a total knockout.
not a bad level here (i dont care what you think about cortana), the legendary campaign is beautifully balanced and fine-tuned to brutal perfection, the story is incredible schlock that still gets to me after all these years, and that MULTIPLAYER DUDE. GOD that multiplayer. FUCK. and four player co-op??? youve got to be fucking shitting me. nothing compares.
not a bad level here (i dont care what you think about cortana), the legendary campaign is beautifully balanced and fine-tuned to brutal perfection, the story is incredible schlock that still gets to me after all these years, and that MULTIPLAYER DUDE. GOD that multiplayer. FUCK. and four player co-op??? youve got to be fucking shitting me. nothing compares.
2024
only played the demo, which has a lot of features locked away or elements stuck in as a placeholder so it's not exactly even a full complete demo either. incredibly promising, combat is punchy as fuck, feels very much like a Build engine game (even though its running on GZDoom). world building and level detail is immaculate, theres a really painstaking amount of time put into little things like birthday cakes around a birthday party that act like health pick ups, and all the ways you can interact with the environment like petting roombas or using a fire extinguisher to blow up an MRI machine. most things in the environment react to gunfire and the combat scenarios are all dealt around incredibly tight corridors with lots of space to move around between rooms and get the drop on enemies, and its all so fucking satisfying.
game also has a 10/10 shotgun, just totally fucking explosive and brutal. theres a really good balance for most of the demo regarding not giving you enough ammo or health to really coast by most combat situations carelessly (bar for later on when the game hands over a shitton of assault rifle ammo to you, probably in preparation for the boss). there's a satisfying degree of challenge to this.
overall, the potential here is staggering. i think if the level design is tuned up a bit more and theres more space to move (and if they move away from the system shock 2-esque and doom 3-esque vibe of the demo levels) this could turn out to be a stellar boomer shooter. am very curious about all the additional replayability features too, like the randomizer mode and the mutators, and mod support. they also need to work on the optimization a bit more, i did run into a lot of stutters (usually whenever i saved) and frame drops were pretty frequent during encounters, but it was never too much of a distraction.
game also has a 10/10 shotgun, just totally fucking explosive and brutal. theres a really good balance for most of the demo regarding not giving you enough ammo or health to really coast by most combat situations carelessly (bar for later on when the game hands over a shitton of assault rifle ammo to you, probably in preparation for the boss). there's a satisfying degree of challenge to this.
overall, the potential here is staggering. i think if the level design is tuned up a bit more and theres more space to move (and if they move away from the system shock 2-esque and doom 3-esque vibe of the demo levels) this could turn out to be a stellar boomer shooter. am very curious about all the additional replayability features too, like the randomizer mode and the mutators, and mod support. they also need to work on the optimization a bit more, i did run into a lot of stutters (usually whenever i saved) and frame drops were pretty frequent during encounters, but it was never too much of a distraction.
2012
This review contains spoilers
as someone said on a different site: neoliberal nothingness.
it fails to deliver on its message because it has such a black and white perspective on war as a whole. theres no nuance to a sensitive topic that is complex and difficult to address, it instead just blames the player and the individual soldiers for war without isolating the real problems with it that arent just "war are bad", and it never attempts to attribute the problem to anything beyond "video games that glorify war are bad and the player is bad for wanting to play shooter games".
honestly, i think we're at a point where messages like these are just not worth caring about anymore. if this game had balls it would've gone for WHO benefits off of war, and why its important to think critically about the effects of media like this, instead of..... going after people that enjoy shooter games. it's victim blaming at its finest, down to that "The Army does not condone killing civilians, but this is fake so why should you care?" loading screen. i dont even like umurangi generation (at all), but it does a wayyy fucking better job at political commentary than this.
in any case even without all of this political commentary, the story isnt that good, the characters are bland, the ending is stupid, etc. its inspired but never in a good way, it just feels like its repurposing better media about this same sort of thing (obviously the stuff that the devs have said influenced this game massively). also its worth mentioning that i love playing games where you can be unapologetically terrible when the characters all around you arent worth caring about in the slightest. thus this is the type of game where being a piece of shit just makes sense, because everyone around you isnt worth caring about, everyone's a generic stereotype of a character that only gets slightly deconstructed as the game goes on (by deconstructed i mean the characters just get a little ooooo crazyyy). this game also fails to give the player any incentive to make you feel like playing the saint is something worth doing. especially during the lynching scene, which i ironically felt less about mowing down citizens than i did in mw2.
oh yeah and the gameplay is fucking awful. the whole excuse for the gameplay being bad is "ooooo war is badddd war feels so dumb and bad isnt it baddddd" which would be a valid excuse if the story were any good at all, if the political commentary were any good at all. instead you just have bad political commentary with zero nuance, and a mediocre ugly ass gears of war military shooter clone hybrid that is utterly soulless.
someone else here pointed this out but the game constantly rewards you for killing with slo-mo special effects, satisfyingly brutal kill animations, and achievements. i've removed a diatribe about undertale (and umurangi generation) for your sanity, but im still going to point out that this is hilariously counter to how to make the player feel like what theyre doing is wrong, and undertale tackled this same issue better by actively punishing the player with constant disappointments and increasing difficulty. meanwhile this game gives you silly achievements for murdering innocent people whilst at the same time, bemoaning you for killing innocent people. even fucking FUNNY GAMES didnt show the audience any satisfying deaths, and the devs excuse this by saying these aspects are supposed to make the concept of FPS games having these features feel unrealistic and ridiculous. the reality is that this game feels ridiculous.
in closing, this shit just doesnt work. terrible game. there are better double-A shooters out there, and MUCH better politically conscious games as well. this game doesnt do a single fucking thing right.
it fails to deliver on its message because it has such a black and white perspective on war as a whole. theres no nuance to a sensitive topic that is complex and difficult to address, it instead just blames the player and the individual soldiers for war without isolating the real problems with it that arent just "war are bad", and it never attempts to attribute the problem to anything beyond "video games that glorify war are bad and the player is bad for wanting to play shooter games".
honestly, i think we're at a point where messages like these are just not worth caring about anymore. if this game had balls it would've gone for WHO benefits off of war, and why its important to think critically about the effects of media like this, instead of..... going after people that enjoy shooter games. it's victim blaming at its finest, down to that "The Army does not condone killing civilians, but this is fake so why should you care?" loading screen. i dont even like umurangi generation (at all), but it does a wayyy fucking better job at political commentary than this.
in any case even without all of this political commentary, the story isnt that good, the characters are bland, the ending is stupid, etc. its inspired but never in a good way, it just feels like its repurposing better media about this same sort of thing (obviously the stuff that the devs have said influenced this game massively). also its worth mentioning that i love playing games where you can be unapologetically terrible when the characters all around you arent worth caring about in the slightest. thus this is the type of game where being a piece of shit just makes sense, because everyone around you isnt worth caring about, everyone's a generic stereotype of a character that only gets slightly deconstructed as the game goes on (by deconstructed i mean the characters just get a little ooooo crazyyy). this game also fails to give the player any incentive to make you feel like playing the saint is something worth doing. especially during the lynching scene, which i ironically felt less about mowing down citizens than i did in mw2.
oh yeah and the gameplay is fucking awful. the whole excuse for the gameplay being bad is "ooooo war is badddd war feels so dumb and bad isnt it baddddd" which would be a valid excuse if the story were any good at all, if the political commentary were any good at all. instead you just have bad political commentary with zero nuance, and a mediocre ugly ass gears of war military shooter clone hybrid that is utterly soulless.
someone else here pointed this out but the game constantly rewards you for killing with slo-mo special effects, satisfyingly brutal kill animations, and achievements. i've removed a diatribe about undertale (and umurangi generation) for your sanity, but im still going to point out that this is hilariously counter to how to make the player feel like what theyre doing is wrong, and undertale tackled this same issue better by actively punishing the player with constant disappointments and increasing difficulty. meanwhile this game gives you silly achievements for murdering innocent people whilst at the same time, bemoaning you for killing innocent people. even fucking FUNNY GAMES didnt show the audience any satisfying deaths, and the devs excuse this by saying these aspects are supposed to make the concept of FPS games having these features feel unrealistic and ridiculous. the reality is that this game feels ridiculous.
in closing, this shit just doesnt work. terrible game. there are better double-A shooters out there, and MUCH better politically conscious games as well. this game doesnt do a single fucking thing right.
2018
a game with a maximum amount of potential, released in the most bare minimum of alpha states. still being updated at a total snails pace, after four years. replay feature is broken, ai is terrible, not even an hour's worth of gameplay in the single-player, every level is also way too fucking short.... yeah. this needs a lot of work.
2020
what an incredibly underwhelming and irritating experience. functionally awful from a gameplay standpoint, fisheye lens breaks the game once you get it outside of the objectives that require other lens, and most of those end up becoming egregious scavenger hunts with slow movement speeds and ugly environments. most of the objectives require abysmally specific placement with how you take pictures of things, while also most others are ostensibly broken and wont let you by even though you absolutely took a picture of the thing that was needed (i had to take a picture of the word "cops" and the game absolutely wouldnt let me go by unless i took a picture so fucking up close to the word that it wasnt even visible anymore).
the "story" is vague gen zed doomer stuff played out through environment only, but like others have said, there is no way to be invested in any of this because there is no emotional connection here, outside of the similarities of neoliberalism in reality. a lot of what this game tackles is surface level and doesnt actually bother getting into the roots of anything.
the "story" is vague gen zed doomer stuff played out through environment only, but like others have said, there is no way to be invested in any of this because there is no emotional connection here, outside of the similarities of neoliberalism in reality. a lot of what this game tackles is surface level and doesnt actually bother getting into the roots of anything.
2005
This review contains spoilers
a funny and novel concept even though the game falls apart once you know exactly how the conversation system works, which is that grace and trip only respond based on a smattering of specific words, and once the cat is out of the bag (around 3-4 minutes into a playthrough) the game will only accept yes or no answers to questions.
despite this, and the extremely poor art quality, its still an incredibly fun concept to watch others fuck around with. i would agree so at least. theres also some additional variables that you can throw out there to freak out trip and grace before any character even has any reason to suspect that you'd know what was going on, like name-dropping maria freaks trip the fuck out. but yeah, wish these guys had gotten to make facade 2: the party.
despite this, and the extremely poor art quality, its still an incredibly fun concept to watch others fuck around with. i would agree so at least. theres also some additional variables that you can throw out there to freak out trip and grace before any character even has any reason to suspect that you'd know what was going on, like name-dropping maria freaks trip the fuck out. but yeah, wish these guys had gotten to make facade 2: the party.
2022
unreal horrific imagery, astoundingly ingenious game design, watertight perfectly crafted punishing gunplay, absurdly high skill ceiling, helped with an accessible and inviting tutorial and a fantastic ranking system that makes it instantly addictive to want to grow and get better at the game....
i would go on more about the way this game is designed - from the 4d 360 degree proximity warnings that flash on your screen, to the way enemies move and behave in a way that is contingent with everything else in the game, to sound cues and movement tricks and metas and tricks that can be learned with frequent play - but ill be honest, im not good at talking about that shit. the game design here is too complicatedly crafted for me to explain, but trust me this game is absolutely perfect when it comes to killing you fairly and killing you often.
from just a technical standpoint this is absolutely everything i want in a fps game mechanically speaking. while there's no story or real function of the game beyond "shoot the fuck out of everything as fast as possible", it doesnt need it at all.
and no theres no way in hell im beating this i could not even beat devil daggers these games are way too hard for me.
i would go on more about the way this game is designed - from the 4d 360 degree proximity warnings that flash on your screen, to the way enemies move and behave in a way that is contingent with everything else in the game, to sound cues and movement tricks and metas and tricks that can be learned with frequent play - but ill be honest, im not good at talking about that shit. the game design here is too complicatedly crafted for me to explain, but trust me this game is absolutely perfect when it comes to killing you fairly and killing you often.
from just a technical standpoint this is absolutely everything i want in a fps game mechanically speaking. while there's no story or real function of the game beyond "shoot the fuck out of everything as fast as possible", it doesnt need it at all.
and no theres no way in hell im beating this i could not even beat devil daggers these games are way too hard for me.
creepypasta gaming
2018
has its good moments but it unfortunately stumbles a lot in regards to feeling like its own thing that isnt dependent on its connection to undertale. which is fine if its a sequel, and maybe this whole series IS a sequel. but from what i can tell, its just an alternate universe so far, an alternate universe that is a bit too fan-servicey for my liking.
also, the dream world is unbearably drab and boring, virtually lifeless. but at least the characters are still great, and the same goes for the music which i dont think toby could ever miss in that area.
also, the dream world is unbearably drab and boring, virtually lifeless. but at least the characters are still great, and the same goes for the music which i dont think toby could ever miss in that area.
2021
if i wanna play a game that exists to be a time wasting slot machine ill either play slots or an actual idler. at least during those i dont have to pretend like i have to do anything, i just press a button. on the other hand, if i want to play a real game ill go to any other myriad of roguelikes out there that dont make me feel completely vapid, like ive had my brain sucked out of me. fuck this mindnumbingly tedious bullshit
2023
in awe. possibly the most soulless thing i will play all year. doesnt feel like a single human touched this game.