Really wanted to like this, oh my god did I want to like this. I love most of Platinum's output they have a few misses but at least so many times they have hits for me plus that intro with the motorcycle run through the tunnel and everything was so so SO promising. Then I gained proper control...

The Legions being something you have to actively control instead of AI, the small weak little stumble they give you for a dodge, questionable hitboxes and AOE moves of some of the enemies, and just the clunk and weight of your character I was simply not having fun by the time I reached the second boss. Such a sadness...

It's been a while since I've dropped a game, even more so one I was genuinely ready to hopefully enjoy.

Let me say right off the bat with nearly 2 years since it's initial launch and picking it up again only a day ago for the first time in nearly if not a whole ass year that this game is fucking terrible. It's predatory, it's full of artificial extensions to make things take longer and pressure you into spending your hard earned dollary doos (DO NOT IT IS NOT WORTH IT UNLESS YOU ARE ME NOW GIVE ME 200 DOLLARS), the community is one of the shittiest and most annoying people I've had the misfortune to sometimes come across. Characters beyond their physical attractiveness have nothing else going for them. The story is (as of now) hot garbage and presented like hot garbage with paragraphs of text for character dialogue subtitles and they are INSANE if they think I'm reading all that.

With all that said though? Yes, you should play it cause being an insane chemist mixing up different elemental properties to nuke the countryside and an actual sentient race of goblins that have their own language and culture using little girls and big booba mommies while going on huge nature walks across XI JINPINGS IDEAL EMPIRE, Isekai Germany and YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-era Japan is actually fun as fuck.

Yeah it's a shameless Breath of the Wild clone and it doesn't give a fuck and neither should you cause Breath of the Wild is already good and now you're getting Breath of the Wild with fat anime tits, cunny, and more frenetic combat for insatiable crackheads and that sounds like a win to me.

Yeah there's male characters but don't lie you and I both know we don't give a fuck about them and that what we're really in the market for is big DEEPS mommy pirate and Lisa's JP moans while she's climbing.

tl;dr don't play this game, but do play it.

Pretty much just a bit of an update to my original review being able to finally give my thoughts on the game after a year of it being out and all the dlc/post launch support being done.

So a year later my thoughts on this haven't really changed much although it's definitely a much more positive experience than I had with World by its first year. Rise's real biggest problem is that it really did launch as an unfinished game with missing monsters that could have easily been there from launch and were ultimately added in as "new" monsters in updates. This coupled with the really weak event quests (pretty sure only the USJ one gave actual new gear that wasn't just a layred set) and post launch support that lets be honest finished with Valstrax and Allmother should leave the most sour taste in my mouth and it kind of does, but MAN this is just so much funner to play than World was lmfao. The wirebug shit is as fun and dope as it was at launch and Wyvern Riding is just so much better than mashing triangle for upwards of 45 seconds when I can just end the mount in 1 to 3 wall slams that take respectively at most 5 seconds to perform if you go for all 3. The ATMOSPHERE (punctuated by the incredible score) of this game too it's unpalpable and unmatched by any other game of this type. Kamura is probably the best village area in these games since Bherna in Generations just love love love the absolute good vibes constantly emanating from it even with the threat of imminent destruction. Which in a way whether accidentally or not ties back to the more laid back (and faster) item/monster parts gathering and quick to the action quest set up the devs aimed for with this. Sunbreak better end with you heading back and being welcomed home by everyone like the last episode of an anime.

Cannot stress enough as well that while most of the event quest rewards are weak as fuck and even some of the events themselves can be kind of lackluster the fact I don't have to look at a monthly schedule for them and potentially miss out on something actually nice (the Sonic crossover and Super Apex/Monsters quests were so good) and I can just drop the game for months without worry to play something else just feels so damn nice. I cannot hate a game that lets me dress as Akuma and punch the shit out of dragons and big monkeys.

Also, I'm just gonna say? Monster Hunter doesn't need some endgame that artificially extends the game forever. We didn't really have that for a while and everything was fine. Games don't need to go on forever, and sometimes the best thing to do is finally be able to feel satisfied with what you've done, put down the controller, remove the disc or cartridge and move on to a new experience.

So, is it the best Monster Hunter game? No, fuck no lmfao. But is it top tier Monster Hunter? Absolutely. 100% the next generation leap for Monster Hunter I was actually hoping for World to be with a gorgeous art direction that actually captures the stylized anime look of the concept art and doesn't look like everything was lathered in Vaseline and grease. If this game is a spiritual successor to MHP3rd which is easily one of the best games in the series with a very similar size roster of monsters and arguably better if not on par with the actual third generation games G-Rank expansion then I hope Sunbreak is the G-Rank expansion P3rd never sadly got to have.

I think I'll definitely be spending a lot more time in Kamura and soon Elgado come June and hopefully in the near and far future not unlike many of my other favorite Monster Hunter games I eventually return to.

And yes I do still think Goss Harag is the best new monster AND YES I do still wish to cum inside Hinoa and Minoto.

Was kinda shitposting when my original review was just "Objectively better than the first game". Especially when I put it on here after not having played it for years. But coming back to it nearly 5 years later and 2 years after DE's launch I've only doubled down on that take.

Xenoblade 2 is not perfect, it's got jank, it's ugly as fuck sometimes texture wise (especially when they don't load in), there's some gameplay elements that can be frustrating and annoying (the gacha system which is still better than others anyways since it's 100% free as opposed to having to spend real ass money and there's ways to cheese it anyways), the unfortunate rushed development cause Monolith Soft was stuck shackled to Breath of the Wild can show at times and yet it's easily one of my favorite experiences with any game ever.

From the soundtrack to the characters and writing Xenoblade 2 is one of the best JRPGs of the past decade. A truly personal story of redemption, vengeance and acceptance. There are so many games that attempt the cycle of violence/revenge type deal and yet none of them have ever left an impact on me the way the last 3 chapters of this game have. Everything from chapter 7 onward blows the first Xenoblade out of the water emotionally, spectacle wise and writing wise. It is just constant escalation after escalation to an emotional and cathartic climax, and that's the key thing for me with this game. When you reach the ending and that final cutscene after the credits catharsis is the feeling that overwhelms you. Few films have hit me with that and even fewer games can stand to having done it to me but Xenoblade 2 did it and that alone will always make it special to me.

So it kills me when people just reduce it to nothing more than horny anime garbage. "The game with the two skanks that ruined Smash" and "the generic anime boy protag" and "that one weeb game with bad English dub". Last point funny as fuck to me cause it is genuinely no worse than the average English dub. Maybe compared to Xenoblade 1 but on this playthrough I genuinely found it fine. Maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome but aside from the early chapter weirdness after a certain point it's all fine and is legit better than the usual Square Enix dubs that fill in every grunt the Japenese dub has with awkward English grunts of their own lmfao. The horny anime shit take sucks too and it's always from people who have never played this game or coomers that only know any of the characters from porn. So for a really quick tangent for the other side of that last point I think media should be allowed to be as horny as it wants. If the writer/artist doesn't want it to be horny that's fine but if a writer/artist wants it to be horny what right do you have to tell them no? It's a bit of a double edged sword situation I guess since while it keeps people from wanting to play it it also gatekeeps itself from the exact people I would never want to talk to about this game. Only the worthy may pass yadda yadda it kinda rules tbh.

Goddamn tho that insane rambling aside going from DE which made me realize just how much the original Xenoblade has aged combat wise (especially when X was the same thing but faster and better) and going back to this with the sicko mode blade and driver combos PLUS how good it feels to switch out to a blade and immediately follow that up with an attack? UGH god it feels so good to kill shit in this game and Xenoblade 3 seemingly taking this but with extra abilities that were in 1 WITH X's speed is enough to make me shit and cum and piss.

So what don't I like? Well, field skills suck lmfao and the fact they can softblock process in chapter 7 if you don't upgrade certain blades enough fucking sucks ass. Really miss that sprint from X too and the gacha system can be mad annoying but that's what the Relentless Arduran and New Game Plus mode are for. And I guess the fact that you pretty much have to get the season pass for Torna and a lot of the post launch blades, but I think that's it lol and for the price you pay you get a shitton of stuff. Honestly it's shocking to me to this day that for a game that had such a rushed development that it turned out as good as it did when other games that were delayed and delayed and delayed couldn't even release without being broken messes.

Xenoblade 2 as mentioned at the start isn't perfect but it's one the most delightful and emotionally powerful experience with video games that I've gone through my whole life. I haven't even gone into the themes of immigration, persecution, regret, mental illness, idealism, self reflection, and religion the game is chock full of behind the scenes of what on the surface is quite simply a story about a boy meeting a girl. And if what I've read about Tetsuya Takahashi is anything to go by he is a splendid man and all of the Xeno games from Gears to most definitely soon Xenoblade 3 are some of most personal pieces of media ever made, and that to me will always be commendable and brave no matter what janky elements there may be along the way.

Anyways Mythra is my wife who I will DEFINITELY impregnate, Tora is my son and Rex is a good boy that does not deserve the shit he gets for his silly little costume and voice. Bring on Xenoblade 3.

Everyone you've ever met has mattered and probably affected your life in some way whether good or bad and they can all be gone at any moment.

As if there was ever any doubt Monolith Soft drops another insane W with this one. By the final battle and cutscenes with the party fighting against Malos I was hooting and hollering while beginning to shed tears knowing how bad everything is truly going to go from the snippets we get in the main game and even then those snippets cannot prepare you for THE moment.

Combat as with the base game is super engaging and fun once they remove all the reigns and have the full party at your disposal to go apeshit with the combos. Love the silly animation cancelling side step shit to fill the arts faster lmfao. Room sounding like a Smash tourney but I assure you I am actually playing Xenoblade 2 an actual good game. Yes the QTE's rule and I have no problem with them. Even then I'm genuinely excited to see where 3 takes the combat as no Xeno game plays exactly the same. Score as always one of da best to do it babyyyyy. Not hearing Counterattack at all only for it to start blaring at the sight of thousands of Gargoyles in the climax an all timer.

Initially played this back when it launched while suffering from an unfortunately extended depressive episode and wasn't able to appreciate it as much then. Now with a (slightly) better outlook on life I was able to gorge myself into both the story and gameplay and can say this isn't just a mere DLC to Xenoblade 2, this is the true beginning of Xenoblade 2. Would recommend not playing this until after you beat the base game if its a first run through, but on repeat playthroughs this is 100% a pre main game affair. Tragic, heartfelt, melodramatic, and genuinely epic in the actual meaning of the word. Fantastic.

Annoying bullshit with some of the giant bosses and the insane balancing during last third or so of the game along with the sort of fetishistic shilling of mage/magic/long distance builds in this one aside, baller as fuck. Easily the best one of these since Bloodborne, glad I took a break after DS3 and skipped Sekiro this was a nice return. Gonna be hard to go back to games without a jump tho lmfao.

Souls fans will look at genuinely badly designed boss encounters like the foreskin twins and just say NAH YOU'RE JUST BAD LMFAO

Ranni goes into the wife cart. Ascend and destroy the world of god babe I'll follow you to the end.

Literally more of a Michael Bay movie than the actual Michael Bay movie that released the same year the PS360 version originally came out in. Ridiculously over the top campaign that differentiates itself perfectly from the surprisingly subtle and even oppressive predecessor. The name of the game here is shoot shoot kill and tear through to the end of the chapter. Yes it is the best one to this date and none of the CODs after it have ever hit the peak blockbuster high of this campaign. Funniest part of the game tho tbh is Zimmer just recreating his The Rock score and the huge amount of sequences just lifted from it.

Wish the multiplayer was a part of this and they kept it as janky as the original release if only cause it was probably the most fun I ever had in a toxic environment as a teen lmfao. Stockholm syndrome real.

And now to return to Elden Cock Ring...

Calling this the Aliens to Alien or to be more inline with vidya games the RE2 to RE1 isn't even hyperbole. A more thrilling and fast paced sequel that amps the ante in the intensity. Strangely similar to going forward to Doom Eternal after Doom 2016 as well. Enemies are more brazen and aggressive than in Dead Space 1 catching me completely off guard with the former fresh in my mind. Game seems all around more confident in its presentation and what it puts the player through. Less afraid to dump you into tight corridors with enemies that beeline towards you and believing in the player having the skill and response speed to take care of the situation.

Major shout out to the setpieces in this one too. Did the hanging upside down thing two years before The Last of Us lmao. HALO jump an all timer, and the camera always sticking with Isaac's current location is so chefs kiss sublime shit. One of the few times I'm glad a game has no real boss battles (outside of one) and instead just replaces those with big setpieces cause the ones in Dead Space sucked. Could probably have tried to do them better but this is fine tbh.

Speaking of that one boss fight, probably the worst part of the game but once again like the Hive Mind insanely easy just very annoying when the shitty kid zombies constantly swarm and stunlock you. Contact Beam lifesaver.

So many awesome sequences I can talk about in this the eye poke, the battle on the giant drill, the opening escape, THE FUCKING ISHIMURA. Game fucks and I will give Dead Space 3 (which I never played) a shot even if I end up not liking it.

GOAT KINO SWAG RAW

Was gonna say I hadn't played this in 5 years but suddenly remembering we're in 2022 means I haven't played it in 7 years. Jesus.

For a 14 year old game (yes 14) holds up pretty well aside from the 7th Gen console FOV and insane frame drops when the action gets too crazy. Still looks fantastic, that intro with the approach to the Ishimura stunning; space equivalent of first seeing Rapture. Gunplay rules too went through it on hard-mode plasma cutter only and when you get that baby fully upgraded it is a monster of a weapon. Probably my favorite starting weapon in any game ever to be honest, just decimates every opponent. Also, can I just go and say how surprised I am most of all at how well and seamlessly the cinematics during the QTE grapple sequences would go in and out from the actual combat? It's almost as good as the Heat actions in the Yakuza games. Stellar stuff. Cannot think of any other third person western video game series that has pulled stuff like that off since or even when this came out.

Honestly if I have any negatives about this game besides the aforementioned FOV and frame drops it's that the bosses are very lackluster and all of them besides the Hunter (which is still piss easy) consist of nothing more than strafing and shooting an exposed weakpoint, hell one of them is a turret sequence to shoot weakpoints. Can't have a 7th gen game without turret sequences.

Anyways, basically Alien: Isolation if it was good throughout and not just the grand total of 5 hours that don't feature the alien. Excited to play DS2 again as that was my preferred one.

Holy fucking shit. Can't even begin to express how much my expectations were surpassed with this one. Spending nearly 3 months of my life on this due to work cutting in the way of playing it and wanting to actually shoot for all 4 endings has left me all but satisfied and sated. What this lacks in story (which isn't even bad it's just very minimal and your enjoyment of what's happening is really going to depend on that) it more than makes up for with its depth and difficulty.

While nowhere near as mean as SMT4 or even Nocturne for that matter it readily and quickly reminds you just how important buffs and debuffs are. And god bless it for actually being difficult. Can't even describe the feeling of bringing down Shiva after multiple play-throughs of building my team up specifically to take him down. Really feel if you ever really wanted to sell someone on turn based combat and how it can be genuinely intense it would definitely be this.

Despite everything being a straight banger in the gameplay department it is crusty as fuck with ugly pop in (THANKS UNREAL ENGINE!) and runs like poop due to its hardware, but it sure as hell didn't matter to me the moment that ending credits theme came up after acquiring the true ending. Also, downright obsessed with the cinematography in the cutscenes for this, the zooms and camera tilting constantly is so cool and unique.

So yeah I guess I kinda liked the Dark Souls of Persona 5, but I sure won't be picking it up again for a while after nearly 130 hours of it lmao.

Oh, and do play this one in Japanese. Unlike P5 the dub is not that bueno lol.

Hideaki Itsuno really just does games inspired by manga he likes huh? Bleach with DMC4 and now Berserk and other fantasy manga like Claymore with this.

Last played this in 2013 on PS3 with the crusty letterboxing and framerate when I only had a copy of the base game and this may be one of the most pleasant replays of any game in recent memory.

With my 2022 brain talking I can say that Dragon's Dogma isn't perfect and is full of things that have been mostly ironed out or dealt with through quality of life changes in more recent open world games, but I would argue this alone gives it personality these other games don't have. DD doesn't have silly Ubisoft towers you scour the map for to find fast travel points or any of that. You have to find crystals and set them near areas you'll be passing by a lot specifically to do that and without the help of DLC the Ferrystone item to use for fast traveling is finite. This really was the game I was wishing for back in 2011 when Skyrim released and while I enjoyed my time with that, this just absolutely demolishes it when that insane choir comes up when you knock a huge monster down. Insane to me this released during Capcom's horrible western outsourcing/COD player appeal phase. Itsuno GOATED for this one and I hope whenever DD2 happens he makes it it's own thing to truly make it stand out from the modern open world game.

Story a bit nonsense, but it's good fantasy novel nonsense with Japanese CUHRAYZEE hype and pulls off SMT shit by the end with gameplay sequences that feel like playable Frank Frazetta art so I must simply stan. Climatic battle against Grigori easily an all timer in the hall of OH YEAH THIS IS HAPPENING moments in gaming. Bliss.

Anyways, how can a game where I can make a huge tan muscle girl that swings a giant sword around be bad???