One of the ugliest main characters I've ever seen, looks especially bad in the lighting of the game's engine. An unacceptable amount of core movement mechanics are left unexplained and are not intuitive to figure out on your own. The left face button performs three wildly different actions depending on whether you tap, double tap, or hold it. There are so many pauses in animations that kill the flow of movement. The right stick yoyo aiming feels useless outside of forced gimmick moments. It is so easy to grind yourself to a halt and kill all of your momentum from one wrong motion. The yoyo ride sometimes refuses to turn and sometimes doesn't and it feels random. It felt like I needed to completely master the controls to even have a chance to experience flow in any level.

The music leaves no impression on me. Level design feels homogenous and makes my eyes glaze over. The powerups feel unnecessary. The side quests where you do tasks for people are boring at best and an annoying diversion at worst. Bosses feel like 3D mario bosses in the worst possible way. The quick time events, especially the stick rotations, feel horrible and slow and only made me want to purposely land lower on the end level setpiece. On several occasions I became locked out of a collectible unless I killed myself or restarted the level. To get to options you have to go all the way back to the title screen, for some reason "Tutorials" is more important to put on the pause menu than options.

There are so many bugs it's insane, at one point I had to play the same level 4 times because it kept locking me in an animation on the level complete screen and freezing my game. The number of walls and floors I clipped through was hilarious. The most fun way to play is by ignoring almost every stage mechanic and even then it's not fun. I would never want to replay this game.

Note on all expansions: Every part of FFXI takes an enormous hit in my ratings for existing within the god awful, unconscionable interface, code base, and general design philosophies of FFXI. These things are the foundations of the whole game, and thus no expansion can fully escape these sins. Despite this I have chosen to log them all separately because they are each different beasts.

Chains of Promathia is what happens when your DM who is on the spectrum somewhere does some adderall and a line of cocaine and then fixation dumps his whole DnD campaign setting's worldbuilding on you in an incomprehensible word-salad hurricane. To call it "an ambitious story for an MMO in 2004" is like saying that that when Mount Vesuvius erupted it was a bad day to be in Pompeii. To be perfectly frank I believe that this glorious audacity blinds many to the deep, deep problems that haunt the writing of CoP.

While the base game and RoZ were quite notably underwritten, CoP is overwritten in the extreme. There is about 400% more text than there should be, and much of it is a garbled soup of overused jargon that would make Kingdom Hearts blush. This is a story that dearly loves its twists, and it's true that having twists AT ALL in such an era was virtually unprecedented, but CoP just doesn't know when to stop jerking the player around. Almost every major piece of information that is dramatically given to the player for most of CoP's playtime is a red herring that will soon be paved over with newer, similarly incorrect information. When the expansion is nearly over, it is revealed that none of these answers that have been painstakingly collected across these hours of gameplay are true, and that the truth is actually far less satisfying than any of them. As far as the plot is concerned, almost every cutscene can be written off as a waste of time which sends the characters on a dozen more hours of chasing their own tails because the game isn't yet ready to end.

Thank god then, that plot is not all that makes a story. With the exception of a perplexingly tacked-on elvaan dude and a triplet of tedious tarus, the character writing of Chains of Promathia blows its predecessors out of the water. It's characters and many of the scenes built with them are genuinely touching. I would, in fact, be willing to say that this is the first time in the genre's history that an MMO manages to accomplish this... but now we must ask again that dreaded question: Is it worth putting up with actually playing FFXI for?

Maybe. You actually don't have to even start RoZ in order to do most of CoP. You'd need to at least hit what was once the level cap in order to finish it, but the road to playing CoP isn't THAT steep, there's some worthy stuff to see, and with a few very notable exceptions (like climbing a certain mountain for a certain mandatory mission) the missions of CoP don't ask too absurdly much of the player. I'd say it's worth thinking about, but be wary of anyone who tells you that CoP is "one of the best stories in Final Fantasy." These people are narcs and frauds. People who tell you that CoP is one of THEIR FAVORITE Final Fantasy stories however are probably just cool weirdos and it's okay to hang out with them.

the dark and melodramatic streets of kamurocho, contextualized by punctual camera angles, neon signs that dampen dark alleyways, and wacky inhabitants. kamurocho is alive. for every fun filled casino or arcade, an oppressive gang infested street lies just around the corner.
in the week or so since i've finished this game, i haven't stopped thinking about it. the dynamic cast of characters, the aforementioned bustling streets of kamurocho, the hard hitting sample induced rock soundtrack, and the clunky yet earnestly goofy combat; it's extremely honest and heartfelt in pursuit of a crime drama, and it certainly delivers. i think the themes of family bonds really tie everything together. the moments with the florist and his son, or date with his daughter were a bit of a deviation from the main narrative but they were ultimately for the sake of driving a point home, which i respect. yakuza 1 isn't afraid of itself unlike kiwami, it'll confidently present you its themes and gameplay without hesitation. while i do see the combat as inherently flawed it never got on my nerves or hindered my enjoyment of the game. it's clunky for sure but every attack, daft in approach, feels impactful when it connects. and with the backing of rough hardass rock beats mixed with the hip hop sample here and there, i couldn't help but be pumped up for every battle that ensued.
despite its flaws, i still appreciate yakuza 1 for what it sets out to do. the atmosphere is almost unparalleled in the ps2 library. between every freeze frame loading the next street, a sense of curiosity and infatuation follows. i don't care if kiwami is objectively better or whatever, this is the real yakuza experience to me. kiwami WISHES it could be this genuine.
BRING that shit, Kazuma.

So this is a big beautiful and sometimes messy game that's hard to articulate into words just what it's all about.

First of all, let's start from the top. The gameplay here is so much improved over LAD7 (which was already fantastic) and Hawaii is just a wonderful sandbox to explore, this was exactly the shot in the arm this series needed.

The story is fantastic most of the way here, there are some dumb things here and there (like every yakuza game if we're being honest) but just such an incredible amount of heart to go along with this. Ichi is an amazing protagonist, as much as I love Kiryu he's totally captured my heart at this point and will hopefully be the guy going forward.

I do have some issues with this game, the biggest one being how bad the game is at telling you things. The final dungeon had no level requirement, and I was a few levels under, making it very difficult to complete. There are many side quests that you do, and if you do them too early you get wiped and the game offers you no way of knowing this. Stuff like this was a massive time waste, and unfortunate, but not enough to hurt this game overall.

The ending is....interesting. I can't say I love or hate it, I have to see where it goes, but it left more questions than answers for me. It still brought out tons of emotion (as did this entire game) and I can't wait to see exactly where they go from here.

I think realistically, this is certainly a top tier Yakuza game, and I wouldn't be shocked at all to see this one go into people's top spot. For me, it's just going to miss out on that, but a genuinely incredible game, that RGG cooked on.

a lesser person would say "i'm speechless" when reviewing this. i am not speechless. i got the speech.

this is, somehow, really fucking cool. i love experimental and surreal shit, and this is obviously not exactly a "game" but more of an experience. you watch this weird ass footage while INCREDIBLE music plays -- no shit, this is going on my list of the best soundtracks of all time.

i played this purely out of curiosity. i watched a bit of a gameplay on youtube but i wanted to know how it actually controls, like what do you do while watching. basically nothing. but i still think it's something cool. and i must note, if these weren't images of a near naked woman, i would still love it, hell, i'd probably love it more. if it were bad early 2000s surreal cgi, it would be amazing. this is going on my list of "dream games".

i'll probably not watch this all the way through because i honestly don't care but i'm really impressed lol.

The historical spinoff I've been waiting for in years has been finally translated into English and released worldwide. And they go and make the game inferior to the original.

Like a Dragon: Ishin does nothing to address the issues the original Ishin had, and in fact, adds more problems into the mix.

Bosses have an insane amount of hyperarmour now, making them impossible to actually combo. The damage in Brawler style has been nerfed into the ground, making it virtually unusable except for parrying/tiger dropping. The four styles still have no cohesion between them, and are imbalanced as fuck as a result. Ground attacks have been removed in favour of just swinging the sword when enemies are on the ground and having them take damage. And most of all, both the trooper card system and boss magic attacks add nothing to the game except annoyance.

The sword upgrading system has been completely fucked as well, based on random enemy drops. It was so bad, the game had to patch this drop rate. It worked fine before, why change it?

On top of this, Unreal Engine adds the usual UE jank into the mix. Although, to give the game credit, the lighting in the world is quite beautiful and it has a quite robust options menu as well.

Overall, it's just disappointing that this is what we ended up getting. 100% an unnecessary remake, even just translating the original into English would've been better. If you don't want to play the original with a guide, go for this one, the base game is still great.

I understand why RGG Studios wasn't willing to port this game to the west back in 2014.
Now, hold on: this isn't necessarily because of a lack of quality, absolutely. Like a Dragon: Ishin! (or, well, it's remake) is still a solid game with the unique charm of the Yakuza series and the beautiful setting of 1860s Japan in its full glory, a combination which couldn't really fail for anyone or anywhere.
The gameplay is the same as a classic Yakuza, with the exception that this game was originally the first one with more than one fighting styles on one character: Ryoma Sakamoto can very well fights with his bare fists just like Kiryu Kazuma, but his true potential is revealed when using a katana or a gun, or even both at the same time.

The whole game feels pretty stiff. From walking in the streets of Kyo to fighting bad guys, the whole experience feels not only slow, but painfully mechanic, something that NEVER happened in the series, not even on the PS2.
It feels so stiff it hurts, and the battles suffer from this stiffness too: they are repetitive, slow and incredibly limited.
I also felt like this game spent more time on loading menus, figths and cutscenes than actual gameplay. It started getting really boring after a while, despite the fun of a classic Yakuza series still kicking in.

Now, that said, what made me think as my first sentence in this review?
Well, the answer's simple: the story is not meant for the west at all, and I'm not talking about the cultural differences of the setting.
The whole plot of Like a Dragon: Ishin! revolves around the Bakumatsu period, from its characters to its main plot development, and that means most of players outside of Japan won't understand it. How epic it was. How inspirational.
To fully understand the game's plot and message, you MUST know Japan history. Without it, you are sure to miss something, being it a crucial passage or just the fate of a specific character, because the game itself doesn't bother explaining most of what is happening on screen, since most japanese players old enough to have a basic school knowledge will put the piece together without any help.

If we can make an example, playing this game as a japanese could be like playing a game centered about the french revolution for a french person, or playing a game set in ancient Rome for an italian.
Taking into consideration the original Ishin! came out around 2014, when the west was just still opening to Japan and its culture (and viceversa), it is understandable that RGG Studios felt like this game wasn't really meant for a western audience, even more considering the series sails were a big failure outside of Japan.
That said, the story is still really good: it is much more political than your classic Yakuza, and the scale of the main conflict is bigger than ever in the series, but the spirit which never abandoned Kiryu is still strong in this one.
The cast is interesting and colorful, the soundtrack is fantastic and the gameplay is solid.
While cutscenes are really, really good, in-game graphic is mainly imported from the original game with just some new shaders added on, making it old-looking and, weirdly enough, REALLY slow to load. Many times, while playing, textures would not load at all until they were out of the scene.

I was originally gonna finish all the sidequests and defeat this game's Amon, but now that I have less and less time to spend on games and my backlog is still pretty big, I've decided to considered myself done with this game. It was an overall good experience, but I won't really recommend this game to anyone who isn't fan of the series or doesn't know Japan's history-at least good enough to understand the Bakumatsu period and his characters, that's it (and NO, playing the Fate series won't help you understand this game's Okita Souji at all, fools! Don't even think about it!).

While I understand why people didn't like this game (lots of hype is nigh impossible to live up to), I personally really enjoyed it!

I had a lot of fun with all the fighting styles (even brawler...which I tried my best to utilize despite the damage output being equivalent to a feather gently floating into your bullet proof shoulder) and since I never played the original, I don't care that wild dancer used to be better lol

I do lament baba not being around anymore, as well as some of the unique combat themes being swapped out but overall I had a loooooot of fun with the character swaps. Ryoma is.... hoo.... you thought kiryu was attractive? Hoo buddy.

Okita too...........

Anyways. I did a fair amount of history catch up on the late Edo period in preparation for this game and I must say, it was a lot of fun catching all the ways RGGS did their research and how they played with history to make certain choices that a specific historical figure made still fit into the "canon" personality of the character. Neat stuff. They didn't play as fast and loose with the history as they did with Kenzan (which is a whole other can of worms) but they still had fun with it and that I greatly respect.

Also, this game had Samurai Ondo, Majima's best karaoke song (made all the better with Kiryu's dry interjections).

あー！思い出した！骸街や〜（さっき言っただろう）lives rent free in my head, I tell you

No More Heroes III is a remarkable feat. For all of its flaws (and believe me, there are a lot), the game's passion shines through from every orifice. Meeting a compromise gameplay-wise between NMH1 and 2, with a dash of spice from TSA, the combat and gameplay may very well be my favorite of the three. There's flaws for sure (sometimes the enemy missions are harder than the bosses, framerates and textures in the hub world...yeesh), but again, they're outshined by just how much better the improved parts get. Jobs unfortunately take a sideline once again, but at this point, I think I've finally accepted a NMH without them at the front and center. For what it's worth, the gameplay here is ultimately working to be the best version of itself, despite obvious limitations.

But this isn't about the gameplay, is it? No. When it comes to No More Heroes, it's about the characters. The themes, the aura and energy that comes from this series, and in that regard? No More Heroes III may be the quintessential capstone for this series. That's not to say it's perfect, but what it does for a resolution to Travis' journey is something special. While still keeping the delightfully batshit energy of its predecessors (and in some cases going further beyond), it brings with said energy a new feeling. One of longing. A feeling of wanting to leave things behind, and move forward to try and reach a new beginning. A want to "Kill the Past", perhaps (okay now I'm just being coy).

Travis started this series as just a guy who wanted some money and sex. But over time, due to his excellence in the assassin fights, he's kind of been roped into things, whether he wants to be roped in or not. And well, you can tell between all the bloodlust from the alien bastards hunting his head, he's just wanting to done with it all. In a way, it's not Fu or Damon, or anyone else that's the ultimate enemy here (although Fu may be one of the best opposing forces I've seen in a game in recent memory; shoutout to Noshir Dalal for absolutely KILLING IT in this performance), but it's Travis. It's all Travis, always has been. His actions catching up to him, messing with the way he lives his life. This theme started as a seed in Travis Strikes Again (and I guess NMH2), but here we watch its growth in real time. It's a lot to think about, with old friends and new enemies popping up left and right, with only a few diminishing returns! But even among these varied fights with various enemies (ranging from a flamboyant magnet robot to even playing Musical Chairs with a boss), this theme slowly rears its head up from the background, until it all blooms into a beautiful black flower in the climax of the game. I mean, hell, even before then it's still very prominent. The way the game is framed like a show through a streaming service can probably be a metaphor for how Travis' life isn't in his control anymore. Rather, it plays out whether he wants it to or not. Just...autoplaying, and he just has to be along for the ride. I'll probably be thinking about and coming back to find new things to analyze in this story for months. As nonsensical as it can get, the emotional core it possesses can not be underestimated.

Ultimately, No More Heroes III is a shining example of Suda51's work. Warts and all, this is the work of a team dedicated to telling a one-of-a-kind story, one where passion is almost uncompromised, flowing like a stream feeding the plant that is Travis' final arc. Hell, the extended scenes where Travis and Bishop or Fu and his minions just...talk to each other, without too much adding to the story, just feels so genuine. I always had a smile on my face in those scenes, just because it's easy to tell how Suda and Co. were enjoying themselves in this project. No More Heroes III is a wonderful final round with Travis Touchdown. I should probably play more of Suda/GhM's games, but I'm glad I was at least able to see this arc to the end.

(Also I should probably watch some Takashi Miike films huh)

No More Heroes 3 is not the best looking or the most technically impressive game. It does not tell an incredible story or have the strongest gameplay. But it has way more heart, personality, style and charm than most games.

How do I even begin describing its style and vibe? No More Heroes 3 is a punk game. It’s anti mainstream and proudly does its own thing. It takes inspiration and shows love for a lot of pop culture things like anime, videogames, films, wrestling and music and at the same time it also parodies this stuff too. It is very self aware, fourth wall breaking and a bit cheeky and I love it. No More Heroes 3 has so many cool ideas in it like for example when it just stops to discuss Miike films. (Hopefully this gets more people into Miike films; I would recommend Gozu, 13 Assassins, Visitor Q, Ichi the Killer, Audition and the miniseries MPD Psycho). Of course there are problems with this approach the main ones being not all the ideas thrown in are excellent or work really well and you are also relying on your audience to just ‘get it’ and roll with it.

Visually No More Heroes 3 is a mixed bag. On one hand it’s really stylish and has some awesome character designs. On the other hand there are a lot quite simple and bland looking objects and locations. I am not a huge fan of the enemy designs and I think the bosses are a bit lacking too, especially when compared to the first two games. The game works well enough and loads quickly, I am definitely glad I waited and played the PS5 version. There was an issue at launch where the trophies were not working but they eventually fixed it. The game is not big budget and does lack some polish.

Gameplay is mostly pretty fun. The combat is solid and looks cool with a combination of sword, melee, dodge, wrestling, a combo counter, skills and slots activated specials. Travis, the main character, has a skill tree and things called Death Glove Chips that allow you to upgrade and personalise your play style as well. Exploration does start to drag and isn’t very rewarding and Travis’ bike isn’t as fun as it looks. There are things to collect and do in the world. There are seeds to plant, scorpions to catch, alien shells, T-shirts, doppelgangers, kittens, capsule toys and Deathman cards. It is a bit much and starts to feel like a chore. There are also defence missions and mini games. The defence missions are just fights and they get repetitive. The mini games are a laugh at first but quickly become repetitive too. This over the top action game can quickly grind to a halt if you do a lot of this at once. Luckily you are not forced to do too much of this but it’s there for the completionists or people that just want a little more. The main story parts and boss fights are great and the gimmicks mostly deliver.

When it comes to the story and characters it is generally a pretty good time. There is a lot here for returning fans but it is still possible for newcomers to jump in and follow along. It is about Travis returning home to face a new threat and that’s all I’ll say to avoid spoilers. Travis and the returning cast are great and the new villain is cool too. Things move along at good pace. Scenes are well directed and the voice actors nail the larger than life characters. It’s not perfect but I enjoyed the journey. The music is good too. Most of the new bosses are pretty forgettable though and as I said not every idea lands. I love No More Heroes 3’s style and humour but I know a lot of people won’t like it.

The problem with playing and reviewing Suda 51 games is they are subversive. A lot of this game’s ‘flaws’ could be deliberate choices. Like the tedious collectables, the ‘chore like mini games,’ the empty open world and bland looking locations. Lots of it could be Suda’s commentary on modern gaming; he is a mischievous creator that likes to take the piss. Some things are obvious and some not so much. It is up to the player to interpret it all and then decide if you like it and think it’s worth it because deliberately bad is still bad but also fun if that makes sense.

I enjoyed No More Heroes 3 enough to play though it more than once and even considered going for the platinum trophy for a while. The biggest issue with No More Heroes 3 is that after waiting this long and when you compare it to the first two games it is a bit disappointing. It just doesn’t hit as hard and is not as memorable as the first two. For No More Heroes veterans and Suda 51 fans it is still a must play. For everyone else I would recommend you play the other games first but if you really want to jump in here then go for it. No More Heroes 3 is nowhere near a perfect game but who cares it’s still cool as f**k.

7.6/10

So I went out to my local videogame retailer and they didn’t have it. Then I walked around to the next one and they didn’t have it too. I checked online and I couldn’t order it either. I found out its digital only. Fucking gross, I threw up a bit in my mouth and went home empty handed. At least I got some exercise and had a nice coffee while I was out. It is a shame because this game looks like it might be pretty cool and is getting a positive response. But for now my copy of the first Alan Wake remains lonely.




Haha, seriously though this game should not be digital only and I lost all interest in this game back when they announced this. The push to digital is being done for the benefit of corporations not us consumers. They are trying to screw you. This is about profits and control. Letting corporations control the media/entertainment/culture/art we enjoy and when, where, how you play/access it and how much it costs doesn’t seem wise. Digital is already bad enough but is anyone at all concerned that digital is just a stepping stone to streaming/subscription only where you don’t even get a digital copy?

Remedy stating that this will help keep the price down, the market has shifted to digital and it is more convenient is a load of crap and sounds disgusting coming from them. The price on the Australian Playstation store for a PS5 version is $90.95 and the deluxe edition is $120.95. I bought big games like RE4 and Elden Ring day one physically for $89. I could then get a big chunk of that money back if I sell it after playing. So because the market has changed the remaining consumers get screwed or forgotten. Is turning your back on the passionate consumers that care enough to buy a physical copy of your game a good long term strategy, especially when they are willing to pay more to get that physical copy? The positives of having a physical copy far outweigh any convenience of digital and a physical copy comes with its own set of conveniences. I’ve never had a problem with games needing more than one disc if that would be required in this case. They also said going all digital would give them more time for polish but the game still launched with a bunch of reported issues. It was also delayed slightly. Doesn’t this game have some kind of high requirements for PC too?

So the same old crap only now without the benefits and option of a physical copy. It comes across as treating your customers with disdain and shows a lack of confidence in your product.

I’m still looking forward to playing Alan Wake 2 one day if they release a physical copy or when it is put on PS Plus essential or when it is available digitally for like $15 or less.

This is all I have in the face of the digital tsunami - this shitty little ‘review’ and not buying it. So I guess I have basically nothing but complaining quietly while something I have loved for decades dies slowly in front of me with a sliver of hope that people will realise the significance of what’s being lost.

(This was a knee jerk reaction to remembering this game came out. It was meant as a crap joke followed with a serious message but I may have botched it. I thought writing a silly joke review would be a good way to open before getting into my thoughts on the digital only release. The idea I had was for a joke review of the experience of trying to buy a physical copy (that doesn’t exist). The other idea I had was to write a joke review of the experience of watching a streamer or Youtuber play through. I quickly realised there is no way to do this without it coming off as a cringe-y review bomb. I may lack writing talent and didn’t put much time or thought into it so that didn’t help as well. I removed anything relating to a score and rating and cut down the joke review but still left a bit at the top. Maybe this still belongs somewhere more discussion centered rather than a place for reviews. Anyway, hopefully I haven't undermined the point that the digital only release is shit too much).