Video Game Roadblocks
These are the moments in games that caused me the most problems, strife, or otherwise challenged my goal to finish.
I tried to prioritize moments that were of a nostalgic nature or were experienced when I was a child, I find those roadblocks to be the most interesting. Share your roadblocks in the comments I find this topic to be incredibly fascinating.
There are mild SPOILERS so if there is a game you haven't finished here then click on the notes at your own risk.
I tried to prioritize moments that were of a nostalgic nature or were experienced when I was a child, I find those roadblocks to be the most interesting. Share your roadblocks in the comments I find this topic to be incredibly fascinating.
There are mild SPOILERS so if there is a game you haven't finished here then click on the notes at your own risk.
19 Games
Circus Level 3
Status: Completed
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Undeniable proof that the level designers were not able to actually play the game before they did their job. This would be a tricky stage to navigate if you were playing as fucking Mario, let alone a stiff, anthropomorphic glove and a rubber ball that only abides by physics sometimes. So many hazards swing around furiously and change direction, slopes are so steep that they are borderline inaccessible, and to top it off the level is incredibly long.
It took me quite a while, maybe a week or two, just to figure out how to scale the very first wall you see, and it was an uphill battle from there. I don't know how long it took me before I beat this one without cheating, but at least the killer music track was on my side the whole time.
Spanky Boss Fight
Status: Passed with Cheats
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And here we have a great example as to why you should not have the defeat of your boss fight dependent on an obscure mechanic that isn't even shown off in the game's tutorial. In order to knock the orange monkey off of the tree it's swinging on, which is the main boss itself, you need to throw your ball directly upwards so the centripetal force sends that fucker into orbit.
I didn't even know you could throw your ball up vertically though, so as far as I was concerned this fight was impossible. I've spent so many hours trying in vain to hurt the boss, all the while the smaller monkeys would distract and steal the ball away from me, making the process time consuming AND frustrating. Once I figured out cheat codes I just kind of skipped past this fight, so I highly recommend that people who design boss fights ensure that they are beatable with strategies players have actually used before.
Status: Completed
---
Undeniable proof that the level designers were not able to actually play the game before they did their job. This would be a tricky stage to navigate if you were playing as fucking Mario, let alone a stiff, anthropomorphic glove and a rubber ball that only abides by physics sometimes. So many hazards swing around furiously and change direction, slopes are so steep that they are borderline inaccessible, and to top it off the level is incredibly long.
It took me quite a while, maybe a week or two, just to figure out how to scale the very first wall you see, and it was an uphill battle from there. I don't know how long it took me before I beat this one without cheating, but at least the killer music track was on my side the whole time.
Spanky Boss Fight
Status: Passed with Cheats
---
And here we have a great example as to why you should not have the defeat of your boss fight dependent on an obscure mechanic that isn't even shown off in the game's tutorial. In order to knock the orange monkey off of the tree it's swinging on, which is the main boss itself, you need to throw your ball directly upwards so the centripetal force sends that fucker into orbit.
I didn't even know you could throw your ball up vertically though, so as far as I was concerned this fight was impossible. I've spent so many hours trying in vain to hurt the boss, all the while the smaller monkeys would distract and steal the ball away from me, making the process time consuming AND frustrating. Once I figured out cheat codes I just kind of skipped past this fight, so I highly recommend that people who design boss fights ensure that they are beatable with strategies players have actually used before.
Twilight Park with Big the Cat
Status: Completed
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I don't trust anyone who says that this first Big stage is anything other than cruel and unusual punishment.
The problem has almost nothing to do with fishing. I love fishing, I even made a whole list about how much I love fishing. Women love me and fish fear me, but I fear this level from the bottom of my heart. Getting that stupid fucking frog on the line is pretty simple, but in this level specifically, Froggy can actually fight against you by slamming into the floors or walls of the pool, ripping itself off the hook in seconds forcing you to try again.
I don't know if this is a bug or an intended game mechanic, but it doesn't really matter. It took me around thirty minutes for me to beat this stage the first time, and that's not counting the many attempts I gave leading up to that point. This is further proven by every future Big fishing stage being significantly easier, as once you get the inner tube upgrade you don't need to worry about floors or walls that Froggy can kick off of. What a horrible way to start off this stupid sub-plot.
Status: Completed
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I don't trust anyone who says that this first Big stage is anything other than cruel and unusual punishment.
The problem has almost nothing to do with fishing. I love fishing, I even made a whole list about how much I love fishing. Women love me and fish fear me, but I fear this level from the bottom of my heart. Getting that stupid fucking frog on the line is pretty simple, but in this level specifically, Froggy can actually fight against you by slamming into the floors or walls of the pool, ripping itself off the hook in seconds forcing you to try again.
I don't know if this is a bug or an intended game mechanic, but it doesn't really matter. It took me around thirty minutes for me to beat this stage the first time, and that's not counting the many attempts I gave leading up to that point. This is further proven by every future Big fishing stage being significantly easier, as once you get the inner tube upgrade you don't need to worry about floors or walls that Froggy can kick off of. What a horrible way to start off this stupid sub-plot.
Tutorial
Status: Completed
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This game has about thirty different mechanics that it needs to teach you in a very short amount of time. Very difficult task for someone who doesn't know how to read yet.
Mad Jack Boss Fight
Status: Completed
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A running theme with a lot of this game's frustrating moments comes from the fact that they expect you to perform lightning fast maneuvers with slow-as-molasses characters. This fight doesn't start off too bad, as the jack-in-the-box will hop from platform to platform at a reasonable pace. He'll even give you some extra time if he's about to land on a square you're occupying.
Shit hits the fan when he turns invisible though. He will not wait for you anymore, and you'll be flying for your life as a creature you can no longer see leaps way too quickly towards your location. Completely ignoring the puzzle aspect of this fight which I did not understand at the time, this monster killed me so many times just by stomping me over and over again.
Dogadon Boss Fight Rematch
Status: Completed
---
It's great that the fight immediately after Mad Jack is also a complete load of bullshit.
Aside from an unavoidable wall of fire, the first phase isn't too tough, but then Dogadon smashes the floor and starts a timer, forcing you to beat the crap out of him before you sink into lava. To put it simply, you do not have enough time to pull this off unless you are absolutely clobbering this mother fucker, and you'll probably just barely make it too.
Donkey Kong Arcade Machine
Status: Completed
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Neither of those can reach even a fraction of the pain this challenge caused me. In order to fight the final boss of the game, you need to play through the first four levels of the original Donkey Kong arcade game and beat them all in one life, twice.
I hate the original Donkey Kong now.
King Krusha K. Rool Boss Fight
Status: Gave Up
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Put this one in mostly as a bookend. I didn't try too hard before I called it quits, with Diddy Kong's jet pack controls not working at all and the full knowledge that I had three awful phases after this. All the suffering this game caused me, and it was all for nothing.
This was what taught me that maybe I prefer easy games instead.
Status: Completed
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This game has about thirty different mechanics that it needs to teach you in a very short amount of time. Very difficult task for someone who doesn't know how to read yet.
Mad Jack Boss Fight
Status: Completed
---
A running theme with a lot of this game's frustrating moments comes from the fact that they expect you to perform lightning fast maneuvers with slow-as-molasses characters. This fight doesn't start off too bad, as the jack-in-the-box will hop from platform to platform at a reasonable pace. He'll even give you some extra time if he's about to land on a square you're occupying.
Shit hits the fan when he turns invisible though. He will not wait for you anymore, and you'll be flying for your life as a creature you can no longer see leaps way too quickly towards your location. Completely ignoring the puzzle aspect of this fight which I did not understand at the time, this monster killed me so many times just by stomping me over and over again.
Dogadon Boss Fight Rematch
Status: Completed
---
It's great that the fight immediately after Mad Jack is also a complete load of bullshit.
Aside from an unavoidable wall of fire, the first phase isn't too tough, but then Dogadon smashes the floor and starts a timer, forcing you to beat the crap out of him before you sink into lava. To put it simply, you do not have enough time to pull this off unless you are absolutely clobbering this mother fucker, and you'll probably just barely make it too.
Donkey Kong Arcade Machine
Status: Completed
---
Neither of those can reach even a fraction of the pain this challenge caused me. In order to fight the final boss of the game, you need to play through the first four levels of the original Donkey Kong arcade game and beat them all in one life, twice.
I hate the original Donkey Kong now.
King Krusha K. Rool Boss Fight
Status: Gave Up
---
Put this one in mostly as a bookend. I didn't try too hard before I called it quits, with Diddy Kong's jet pack controls not working at all and the full knowledge that I had three awful phases after this. All the suffering this game caused me, and it was all for nothing.
This was what taught me that maybe I prefer easy games instead.
Crazy Gadget
Status: Completed
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This level single-handedly prevented me from completing the Hero Side Story. It's a long ordeal with some of the most annoying enemies in the game and way more instant-death hazards than anyone should ever be comfortable with.
If that wasn't enough to beat me into the ground, the final room would certainly finish the job. Floating blocks mixed with alternating gravity will make you sweat bullets, and a single wrong move sends you into oblivion. Don't lose all of your lives or it's back to the beginning you stupid bitch.
Security Hall
Status: Completed
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And this one stopped me from completing the Dark Side Story. Let's have a treasure hunt in a massive, vertically oriented level where you need to locate three tiny objects surrounded by lasers or hiding in safes that all look identical to each other.
Oh by the way you have five minutes.
I will always say that Rouge the Bat is my least favorite Sonic character ever because of this. Eggman told you that you had FIFTEEN MINUTES, why did you change it to FIVE you MOTHER FUCKER!?
Status: Completed
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This level single-handedly prevented me from completing the Hero Side Story. It's a long ordeal with some of the most annoying enemies in the game and way more instant-death hazards than anyone should ever be comfortable with.
If that wasn't enough to beat me into the ground, the final room would certainly finish the job. Floating blocks mixed with alternating gravity will make you sweat bullets, and a single wrong move sends you into oblivion. Don't lose all of your lives or it's back to the beginning you stupid bitch.
Security Hall
Status: Completed
---
And this one stopped me from completing the Dark Side Story. Let's have a treasure hunt in a massive, vertically oriented level where you need to locate three tiny objects surrounded by lasers or hiding in safes that all look identical to each other.
Oh by the way you have five minutes.
I will always say that Rouge the Bat is my least favorite Sonic character ever because of this. Eggman told you that you had FIFTEEN MINUTES, why did you change it to FIVE you MOTHER FUCKER!?
Boolossus Boss Fight
Status: Completed
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A strong contender for the most annoying and frustrating fight in any video game ever of all time.
It's kind of hilarious that about 10% of this fight will be you capturing the first fourteen boos, and then the other 90% will be you getting your ass beat by the very last one. The pain of spending fifteen minutes slowly being chipped away by this one little twerp is so immense that I had to spread out my attempts over the course of multiple months. I gotta admit it's pretty impressive what the developers achieved here.
Status: Completed
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A strong contender for the most annoying and frustrating fight in any video game ever of all time.
It's kind of hilarious that about 10% of this fight will be you capturing the first fourteen boos, and then the other 90% will be you getting your ass beat by the very last one. The pain of spending fifteen minutes slowly being chipped away by this one little twerp is so immense that I had to spread out my attempts over the course of multiple months. I gotta admit it's pretty impressive what the developers achieved here.
The Forest of Hope
Status: Completed
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A rare case of a road block built from petrifying fear. Pikmin is an inherently scary video game, and my child mind was intimidated by the first Red Bulborb to such an extent that I just decided to never fight it.
Well, turns out that Bulborb blocks most of the level. Considering that I chose to never fight it, you can assume that I didn't really make it much further than that.
Emperor Bulblax Boss Fight
Status: Completed
---
Replaying the game in my teen years granted me immunity from the fear-factor of these creatures. Thankfully the Emperor Bulblax was there to rip my defeat from the jaws of victory.
If you know how to fight him, you won't have too much trouble. If you don't know, then this fight becomes unfeasible. I didn't know, and as such I suffered. It wasn't until 2023 when I finally felled the beast.
Status: Completed
---
A rare case of a road block built from petrifying fear. Pikmin is an inherently scary video game, and my child mind was intimidated by the first Red Bulborb to such an extent that I just decided to never fight it.
Well, turns out that Bulborb blocks most of the level. Considering that I chose to never fight it, you can assume that I didn't really make it much further than that.
Emperor Bulblax Boss Fight
Status: Completed
---
Replaying the game in my teen years granted me immunity from the fear-factor of these creatures. Thankfully the Emperor Bulblax was there to rip my defeat from the jaws of victory.
If you know how to fight him, you won't have too much trouble. If you don't know, then this fight becomes unfeasible. I didn't know, and as such I suffered. It wasn't until 2023 when I finally felled the beast.
Clyde Boss Fight
Status: Completed
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For a lot of the entries on this list, I encountered them when I was of a very young age. To say that my reflexes were not fully developed yet would be an understatement, and I would end up revisiting a lot of these infuriating speed bumps when I was much older and wondering how I could ever get stuck on any of these.
This is the exception. Clyde is still one of the most difficult, bullshit boss fights ever designed. Even after six years of practice getting annihilated on loop, I still struggle to take him down. The ramps you roll off of will send you into a pit of lava 50% of the time and it doesn't matter how skilled you are at the game, them's the breaks. You will always hit the invisible lava geysers that form on the main platform and that is inevitable. Even when you think you've seen it all, there's always another trick such as the collision detection on Clyde's weak point not working at all and forcing you to dive head first into a fiery death.
I have faced way more troubling tribulations in games as time has passed, but I don't think I will ever be able to live this down. Whoever decided that this fight was a suitable challenge for very young children should be thrown into a pit of lava and see how they like it.
Status: Completed
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For a lot of the entries on this list, I encountered them when I was of a very young age. To say that my reflexes were not fully developed yet would be an understatement, and I would end up revisiting a lot of these infuriating speed bumps when I was much older and wondering how I could ever get stuck on any of these.
This is the exception. Clyde is still one of the most difficult, bullshit boss fights ever designed. Even after six years of practice getting annihilated on loop, I still struggle to take him down. The ramps you roll off of will send you into a pit of lava 50% of the time and it doesn't matter how skilled you are at the game, them's the breaks. You will always hit the invisible lava geysers that form on the main platform and that is inevitable. Even when you think you've seen it all, there's always another trick such as the collision detection on Clyde's weak point not working at all and forcing you to dive head first into a fiery death.
I have faced way more troubling tribulations in games as time has passed, but I don't think I will ever be able to live this down. Whoever decided that this fight was a suitable challenge for very young children should be thrown into a pit of lava and see how they like it.
Robo-Patrick Boss Fight
Status: Completed
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This is a fairly in-offensive boss fight that almost made me burst a blood vessel in my brain solely because I didn't have the basic perception necessary to notice exactly what you had to do.
The first and final phases of this fight are easy peasy, but the second one really threw me for a loop. You need to swing around from point to point as Sandy and hit the boss's weak point whilst dodging pools of green ooze. The trouble I always ran into was that there was never any way to reach Robo-Patrick's weak spot as it was usually surrounded by the toxic sludge. If I was just a little older, then maybe I would have noticed that every point I swung onto dropped cardboard boxes directly behind the target, but since I had no sense of object permanence, I was basically shit outta luck.
Status: Completed
---
This is a fairly in-offensive boss fight that almost made me burst a blood vessel in my brain solely because I didn't have the basic perception necessary to notice exactly what you had to do.
The first and final phases of this fight are easy peasy, but the second one really threw me for a loop. You need to swing around from point to point as Sandy and hit the boss's weak point whilst dodging pools of green ooze. The trouble I always ran into was that there was never any way to reach Robo-Patrick's weak spot as it was usually surrounded by the toxic sludge. If I was just a little older, then maybe I would have noticed that every point I swung onto dropped cardboard boxes directly behind the target, but since I had no sense of object permanence, I was basically shit outta luck.
Doopliss Puzzle
Status: Gave Up
---
So fun fact I'm a little stupid.
When the game tasked me to figure out the name of our favorite ghost Doopliss, I just had no idea what to do. It didn't help that my younger self had a bad habit of skipping through text boxes in a frenzied state of impatience so I missed every single hint the game gave me in terms of how to solve this issue.
This led to an untold amount of hours walking back and forth between Twilight Town and Creepy Steeple in the vain hope that a leprechaun would jump out of the bushes saying, "Hey the ghost's name is DOOPLISS". Alas, this never happened, and I never bothered to even look up the solution to advance past this stage. Whoops.
Status: Gave Up
---
So fun fact I'm a little stupid.
When the game tasked me to figure out the name of our favorite ghost Doopliss, I just had no idea what to do. It didn't help that my younger self had a bad habit of skipping through text boxes in a frenzied state of impatience so I missed every single hint the game gave me in terms of how to solve this issue.
This led to an untold amount of hours walking back and forth between Twilight Town and Creepy Steeple in the vain hope that a leprechaun would jump out of the bushes saying, "Hey the ghost's name is DOOPLISS". Alas, this never happened, and I never bothered to even look up the solution to advance past this stage. Whoops.
Planktopolis
Status: Gave Up
---
I don't have much to say here, this is just a really difficult level. The balance you need to achieve in order to fire a sonic wave while not getting obliterated by a cannon ball shot from a Plankton statue is way too particular for me to try more than a couple of times. It doesn't help that the stage is way too long for its own good, so I lost this war of attrition.
Status: Gave Up
---
I don't have much to say here, this is just a really difficult level. The balance you need to achieve in order to fire a sonic wave while not getting obliterated by a cannon ball shot from a Plankton statue is way too particular for me to try more than a couple of times. It doesn't help that the stage is way too long for its own good, so I lost this war of attrition.
Red Boss Fight
Status: Gave Up
---
There is no better example of my childhood self's complete incompetence at performing even the most basic tasks.
I remember this fight being a nightmare, most notably due to an attack in the third phase where Red would spawn walls of laser beams that circle the arena. For some reason, I was incapable of figuring out how to properly dodge these, and so would meet the same gruesome end after every bout.
So imagine my surprise when I rewatch this fight after curiosity struck and noticed that the lasers move so slow and give you about eight years to figure out which dodge maneuver you should employ. I'm pretty sure with some prep time a three-year old child could manage to claim victory, but I guess I didn't develop the "ability to dodge slow moving laser beams in video games" section of my brain until much later.
It's amazing that this simple boss fight not only infuriated me to the point of smoke blowing out of my ears, but frustrated me so much that I decided to quit the game and never play it again.
Status: Gave Up
---
There is no better example of my childhood self's complete incompetence at performing even the most basic tasks.
I remember this fight being a nightmare, most notably due to an attack in the third phase where Red would spawn walls of laser beams that circle the arena. For some reason, I was incapable of figuring out how to properly dodge these, and so would meet the same gruesome end after every bout.
So imagine my surprise when I rewatch this fight after curiosity struck and noticed that the lasers move so slow and give you about eight years to figure out which dodge maneuver you should employ. I'm pretty sure with some prep time a three-year old child could manage to claim victory, but I guess I didn't develop the "ability to dodge slow moving laser beams in video games" section of my brain until much later.
It's amazing that this simple boss fight not only infuriated me to the point of smoke blowing out of my ears, but frustrated me so much that I decided to quit the game and never play it again.
Village Center
Status: Completed
---
I played this game way earlier in my life than I had any right to. Shout out to my Mom she clearly knew better than some stupid ratings association.
Fortunately for Capcom's lawyers, the developers inserted a built-in age filter with the inclusion of the village section, the second area you will explore in this game that shows up about 10 minutes in. The game's mood switches between shooting segmented lines of slowly moving enemies one at a time and dealing with an entire village of like forty bloodthirsty monsters that respawn infinitely, and it happens so fast that it can scare the shit out of a young child. Add onto that a chainsaw-wielding maniac who decapitates your character and this is the kind of challenge I wanted nothing to do with at the time.
Once you get over the initial fear, it's not too terribly challenging, but I remember when I outlasted the village for the first time ever so clearly. The sigh of relief could be heard for miles.
Status: Completed
---
I played this game way earlier in my life than I had any right to. Shout out to my Mom she clearly knew better than some stupid ratings association.
Fortunately for Capcom's lawyers, the developers inserted a built-in age filter with the inclusion of the village section, the second area you will explore in this game that shows up about 10 minutes in. The game's mood switches between shooting segmented lines of slowly moving enemies one at a time and dealing with an entire village of like forty bloodthirsty monsters that respawn infinitely, and it happens so fast that it can scare the shit out of a young child. Add onto that a chainsaw-wielding maniac who decapitates your character and this is the kind of challenge I wanted nothing to do with at the time.
Once you get over the initial fear, it's not too terribly challenging, but I remember when I outlasted the village for the first time ever so clearly. The sigh of relief could be heard for miles.
Sinnoh Elite 4
Status: Completed
---
Pearl was my first Pokemon game, and as most young kids do when they play something like this for the first time, I picked a starter and didn't use any other Pokemon for the entirety of the adventure. My level 80 Empoleon was able to hard carry most of the campaign, but the Elite Four was the first challenge to put a notch in my regal penguin's belt.
So how did I react? Maybe I gave it a few more attempts, perhaps looked up a guide, or possibly I just gave up.
Instead I got all three starter Pokemon from the Global Trade Center, ripped my Palkia out of the PC Box, grabbed a Garchomp and a Weavile for the raw power, and trained all six of them up to level 90 on the same low-experience route for three years.
By the time I made it back to the Elite Four, I was able to instantly kill every opponent's Pokemon in one hit each. Not even Cynthia stood a chance and she is often considered one of the most challenging Pokemon champions of all time. Just goes to show how much excessive overkill you can achieve by sheer force of will.
Status: Completed
---
Pearl was my first Pokemon game, and as most young kids do when they play something like this for the first time, I picked a starter and didn't use any other Pokemon for the entirety of the adventure. My level 80 Empoleon was able to hard carry most of the campaign, but the Elite Four was the first challenge to put a notch in my regal penguin's belt.
So how did I react? Maybe I gave it a few more attempts, perhaps looked up a guide, or possibly I just gave up.
Instead I got all three starter Pokemon from the Global Trade Center, ripped my Palkia out of the PC Box, grabbed a Garchomp and a Weavile for the raw power, and trained all six of them up to level 90 on the same low-experience route for three years.
By the time I made it back to the Elite Four, I was able to instantly kill every opponent's Pokemon in one hit each. Not even Cynthia stood a chance and she is often considered one of the most challenging Pokemon champions of all time. Just goes to show how much excessive overkill you can achieve by sheer force of will.
Mecha Kracko Boss Fight
Status: Completed
---
I think I wanted to include this one for two reasons. Firstly, it's kind of amazing that I was able to hit a brick wall against a fight from a Kirby game. I was not very skilled at dealing with bottomless pits when I was a young lad.
But it's also very funny how I was able to discover the main cheese tactic to decimate this battle with no effort. Turns out the tornado ability is completely busted in Squeak Squad, as it grants you way too much invincibility and hits enemies like a freight train. Not only was I able to solo Mecha Kracko, but I would later learn that every fight in the game could be trivialized with this ability. Turns out the brick wall was blocking a downhill slope with a sled right next to it.
Status: Completed
---
I think I wanted to include this one for two reasons. Firstly, it's kind of amazing that I was able to hit a brick wall against a fight from a Kirby game. I was not very skilled at dealing with bottomless pits when I was a young lad.
But it's also very funny how I was able to discover the main cheese tactic to decimate this battle with no effort. Turns out the tornado ability is completely busted in Squeak Squad, as it grants you way too much invincibility and hits enemies like a freight train. Not only was I able to solo Mecha Kracko, but I would later learn that every fight in the game could be trivialized with this ability. Turns out the brick wall was blocking a downhill slope with a sled right next to it.
Angler King Boss Fight
Status: Passed with Cheats
---
It surprised me even as a kid how challenging Drawn to Life was. You'd think it would be a silly gimmick game where you draw a bunch of dicks everywhere and then it ends, but instead you get your dick kicked in by some of the game's boss fights.
I do not hold anything against my younger self for activating cheat codes when faced with the Angler King, and all of the frustration present here is entirely formed due to the game's horrendous swimming controls. Trying to paddle through a series of complex underwater caverns while a giant monster barrels towards you is bad enough, but if you get stuck on one wall (which you will several times the swimming is THAT bad) you will get stunlocked and lose half of your health before you even enter the fight proper.
Rewatching the fight has shown me that there are cheese tactics you can utilize to make it all a bit easier, but I don't think I was even allowed to go on Youtube when I was old enough to play this game so there was no hope for me.
Status: Passed with Cheats
---
It surprised me even as a kid how challenging Drawn to Life was. You'd think it would be a silly gimmick game where you draw a bunch of dicks everywhere and then it ends, but instead you get your dick kicked in by some of the game's boss fights.
I do not hold anything against my younger self for activating cheat codes when faced with the Angler King, and all of the frustration present here is entirely formed due to the game's horrendous swimming controls. Trying to paddle through a series of complex underwater caverns while a giant monster barrels towards you is bad enough, but if you get stuck on one wall (which you will several times the swimming is THAT bad) you will get stunlocked and lose half of your health before you even enter the fight proper.
Rewatching the fight has shown me that there are cheese tactics you can utilize to make it all a bit easier, but I don't think I was even allowed to go on Youtube when I was old enough to play this game so there was no hope for me.
Medium Difficulty
Status: Gave Up
---
Probably had me stuck for the simplest reason out of every game here. My stupid old-person fingers were unable to reach the blue button comfortably, which made playing on this difficulty physically painful. It didn't take long for me to give up, and while I could've put in the time to stretch the finger muscles out, I just figured I'll play osu instead.
Status: Gave Up
---
Probably had me stuck for the simplest reason out of every game here. My stupid old-person fingers were unable to reach the blue button comfortably, which made playing on this difficulty physically painful. It didn't take long for me to give up, and while I could've put in the time to stretch the finger muscles out, I just figured I'll play osu instead.
Piranha Plant Boss Fight
Status: Completed
---
This is the first boss in the game and it took me a surprising amount of attempts to conquer it for a pretty silly reason.
The difficulty of this fight is entirely determined by how well you can button mash like your life depends on it. If you have a trigger finger so itchy it would make an average police officer blush, you won't have too much trouble here. However, if you have bony, geriatric fingers like me, then this is going to take some appendage exercise.
It's funny because this entire encounter is completely insignificant otherwise, but I spent several days failing this fight purely because my thumb was too slow.
Status: Completed
---
This is the first boss in the game and it took me a surprising amount of attempts to conquer it for a pretty silly reason.
The difficulty of this fight is entirely determined by how well you can button mash like your life depends on it. If you have a trigger finger so itchy it would make an average police officer blush, you won't have too much trouble here. However, if you have bony, geriatric fingers like me, then this is going to take some appendage exercise.
It's funny because this entire encounter is completely insignificant otherwise, but I spent several days failing this fight purely because my thumb was too slow.
Shadow Okumura Boss Fight
Status: Completed
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Enemy wave boss fights are a very difficult tight rope to walk. They are uninteresting by default and it's the job of the designers to turn these boring slogs into something even mildly interesting. Here's a great example of how you should absolutely, positively, beyond a shadow of a doubt never design an enemy wave fight.
Standing before you are enough enemies to start a new village on a distant planet, and if you aren't paying attention to the hints that Futaba throws out demanding that you destroy waves at the same time, you will never win. If you manage to spend ten minutes meticulously ensuring that every robot dies at the same time, you have two more god-forsaken phases that have the potential to instantly kill you and restart the fight from the beginning. It's so insulting that this battle comes with a time limit that hardly matters because you will probably die before it ever reaches zero and it exists only to stress you out more.
This was probably the most recent experience I had with a boss fight that made me question if I was actually going to finish the game or not.
Status: Completed
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Enemy wave boss fights are a very difficult tight rope to walk. They are uninteresting by default and it's the job of the designers to turn these boring slogs into something even mildly interesting. Here's a great example of how you should absolutely, positively, beyond a shadow of a doubt never design an enemy wave fight.
Standing before you are enough enemies to start a new village on a distant planet, and if you aren't paying attention to the hints that Futaba throws out demanding that you destroy waves at the same time, you will never win. If you manage to spend ten minutes meticulously ensuring that every robot dies at the same time, you have two more god-forsaken phases that have the potential to instantly kill you and restart the fight from the beginning. It's so insulting that this battle comes with a time limit that hardly matters because you will probably die before it ever reaches zero and it exists only to stress you out more.
This was probably the most recent experience I had with a boss fight that made me question if I was actually going to finish the game or not.
Mall Madness
Status: Completed
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Probably the only difficulty spike on this list that I was actually happy to experience the whole way through. Cruelty Squad is a very fun game in its own right, so being served a massive, labyrinth shopping mall stacked with flesh rats, sewer zombies, and mechanized murder cops made it a dish I was willing to gobble up.
So I wanted to find out how to kill the murder cops because they were very scary, and I learned that armor piercing bullets could take them out and there was one gun in the level that could do such a thing. The first hour was me searching for this gun in every crevice and vent available, and trust me there were plenty of both. This would lead to me finding a dozen upgrades which, while appreciated, didn't help me shoot the target encased in glass. It was when I thought up the genius idea of standing on one of the concession stands and grazing the governor's brain with a cool gun I ended up finding that I was able to emerge victorious.
What's even better is that I later found out I played on a much harder difficulty by complete accident. The diameter of my head increased ten times that day.
Status: Completed
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Probably the only difficulty spike on this list that I was actually happy to experience the whole way through. Cruelty Squad is a very fun game in its own right, so being served a massive, labyrinth shopping mall stacked with flesh rats, sewer zombies, and mechanized murder cops made it a dish I was willing to gobble up.
So I wanted to find out how to kill the murder cops because they were very scary, and I learned that armor piercing bullets could take them out and there was one gun in the level that could do such a thing. The first hour was me searching for this gun in every crevice and vent available, and trust me there were plenty of both. This would lead to me finding a dozen upgrades which, while appreciated, didn't help me shoot the target encased in glass. It was when I thought up the genius idea of standing on one of the concession stands and grazing the governor's brain with a cool gun I ended up finding that I was able to emerge victorious.
What's even better is that I later found out I played on a much harder difficulty by complete accident. The diameter of my head increased ten times that day.