The Dannest of GPTs

Ranking the Unraveled: Unleash the Power of Gaming as I Ascend from Ascendant to Appalling, with the Ultimate Catastrophe Claiming the Coveted First Place, which represents the absolute worst! (Please Note: 'Mario Kart Midnight' represents the enigmatic 'Mario Kart Black' mod, and 'Mario CTGP Rev' stands in for 'Mario Kart Wii 2.' The Placement of 'Minecraft' is Solely Informed by the Hypixel Skyblocks Experience)

Delve into the Chronicles of Gaming as I Tread the Path of Divinity, Fumbling and Soaring through Titles that Await My Verdict. 'Elden Ring,' 'Final Fantasy XIV,' 'Fire Emblem Fire and Ice,' and the Infamous 'Smarty Pants' form the Quartet Chosen to Bring Structure to the Anarchy that Is My Backlog.

Prepare to Witness the Hierarchy Unfold: From Unrivaled Grandeur to Unrelenting Misery, This List Chronicles My Odyssey through Titles that Dared to Cross My Path. So Grab Your Controllers and Brace Yourselves for the Revelation of Rankings, as I Ascend the Ladder of Digital Ascendancy!

Mario Party 4
Mario Party 4
Confucius once said, "Forgive the man who dislikes Mario Party 4, but despise the one making you play M&M Kart Racing." Mario Party 4 may lack the communist party vibes or the board game gimmick, but it's pretty damn good. As Enterprise wisely declared, "Twitter, Instagram is my round-the-clock ritual." And let's be clear, if you ask ScreenGAME about his Mario Party takes, he might just dive into duck rituals instead of enlightening you with his opinions. In the chaotic world of Mario Party, Mario Party 4 stands tall with a rebellious 9 out of 10.
Ape Escape 2
Ape Escape 2
Ape Escape 2, the sequel to the beloved Ape Escape series, unleashes a frenzy of primate pandemonium once again. Or does it? Amidst the chaos, confusion, and conspiracies, one can't help but wonder: is this a brilliant mod or a new installment? Let's dive into the wild world of Ape Escape 2 and decipher the monkey madness.

The game thrusts you into an adventure where you must recapture those mischievous apes, who, against all logic, seem to be perpetually escaping. Yet, a shadow of doubt looms: could this be an elaborate ruse or a misguided attempt at a sequel? The skepticism seems to stem from the sheer disbelief that the apes could escape yet again, raising suspicions of a grand scheme at play.

The narrative intricacies aside, Ape Escape 2 retains the quirky charm that fans adore. Navigating through inventive levels and employing an array of gadgets to round up the simian escapees delivers a nostalgic experience. The game manages to capture the essence of its predecessor while introducing new elements that keep the formula fresh.

While the confusion surrounding the game's identity adds an air of mystery, it doesn't deter from the gameplay itself. The controls are responsive, the environments are colorful and engaging, and the sheer joy of corralling the apes back into captivity is as satisfying as ever. The game offers a blend of platforming, puzzle-solving, and light-hearted humor that keeps players engaged from start to finish.

The iconic monkey-catching gameplay remains the heart of Ape Escape 2, making it a must-play for fans of the series and newcomers alike. Whether this is a genuine sequel or a clever imitation, the game's fun factor can't be denied.

So, as the apes continue their seemingly endless quest for freedom, and doubts persist about the legitimacy of Ape Escape 2, there's one thing that's certain: the appeal of wrangling these escapade-loving monkeys endures. The chaos, the confusion, and the conspiracies only add to the allure, creating an experience that's as entertaining as it is enigmatic. Whether it's an official sequel or a mod, Ape Escape 2 delivers monkey madness that's worth the ride.

Score 8/10
Mario Party 6
Mario Party 6
Mario Party 6, the puppet master of friendships, tearing alliances apart one star at a time. The dogshit rollercoaster of emotions, as you oscillate between joy and pure frustration, is what makes this game a twisted masterpiece. It's not about winning; it's about surviving the onslaught of merciless mini-games and board events. Cheggars party quiz? Please, that's a kiddie pool compared to the shark-infested waters of Mario Party 6. Embrace the chaos, relish the dogshit, and remember, it's not personal; it's just Mario Party. 9/10 for the sheer audacity of ruining friendships with a smile.
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games offers a variety of winter sports events for players to enjoy. However, it is unfortunate to note that Team Weezer's participation in the game has been overshadowed by a series of unfortunate events.

Team Weezer struggled tremendously throughout their Olympic journey. From constant failures in ice skating and ski slopes to chaotic snowball fights, their lack of coordination resulted in numerous broken bones and even injuries. The inclusion of questionable events like snowball fights raises eyebrows, as it doesn't seem to fit the spirit of the Olympic Games.

Additionally, the financial troubles faced by Team Weezer, particularly Yoshi's incarceration for tax evasion, paint a bleak picture for Rivers' crew. The team's excessive spending and resulting debt on useless items from the in-game shop showcase their inability to manage resources responsibly.

The emotional toll of these failures has had a lasting impact on team members Wario and Eggman. Wario's descent into alcoholism and continuous nightmarish flashbacks from the snowboarding event highlight the detrimental effects of their experiences. Meanwhile, Eggman's homelessness due to unpaid hospital bills further emphasizes the negative consequences of their misadventures.

Furthermore, the untimely death of Shadow and his continued presence as dead weight during the bobsledding event is a grim reminder of the team's unfortunate destiny.

Considering the numerous setbacks faced by Team Weezer, it is evident that their Olympic journey was fraught with hardship and disappointment. While Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games presents a wide range of events and characters, it is disheartening to see poor execution and a lack of success for a team with so much promise.

Final Thoughts:
Despite the game offering a wide array of events and characters, the unfortunate experience of Team Weezer significantly impacts the overall entertainment value. It is difficult to recommend this game to players looking for a seamless and enjoyable Olympic experience.

Score: 3/10
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Opened this game for 3 minutes, like a mere appetizer before the main course, and then decided to close it, while relishing the dulcet tones of Tom MacDonald's musings on the contemporary music scene. It's almost poetic how the two experiences paralleled.

It was a stark contrast to the relentless mashing needed for Alessi's push, and honestly, it felt like a soothing balm. A stark departure from the training needed for Gun Girl, the game made me appreciate the simplicity of Alessi's unstoppable power.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone offers a magical world that leaves much to be desired when compared to the pushing prowess of Alessi. In the world of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, the antics of the wizards at Hogwarts appear rather quaint. While Alessi's push commands attention and leaves hands mangled, Harry's wand-waving actions might make you yearn for the magic of Melty Blood or the wizardry of Final Fantasy XIV.

In the end, the magic of Alessi's push remains unrivaled, and any game lacking the force and power of this maneuver pales in comparison. To truly feel the energy of the ultimate gaming experience, you'd have to put JoJo's Bizarre Adventure side by side with Harry Potter, and the result is just as predictable as an intense Alessi ditto match: one stands victorious while the other is merely a fleeting flicker in the dark.

Score: 3/10 for the Sorcerer's Stone. Alessi's push deserves nothing less than ∞/10.
The Bouncer
The Bouncer
I, Jonny RaZer, solemnly swear that neither Count Chocula, Fruit Brute, nor Yummy Mummy will ever be added to the hit 2000 game, The Bouncer.

Score: 3/10
Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin
Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin
Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin is an absolute trip! Who would have thought Kanye West would make a surprise appearance, screaming about Tracer, the Scout, and working things out? And the monsters deciding to off themselves, echoing the fate of the main character's father? It's a wild ride, and that's not even in the game!

But let's get real, the actual game is fantastic too. The intricate story, the epic battles, and the emotional rollercoaster of monster hunting are all top-notch. Even without the Kanye cameo, the game offers a gripping experience that keeps you on the edge of your seat. If you're into monster hunting and unexpected celebrity shoutouts, this game is a must-play.

Score: 9.5/10
Mario Party 5
Mario Party 5
Mario Party 5, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?? I THOUGHT WE WERE 4LIFERS!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬 WE PLAYED THE MINI-GAMES TOGETHER, COLLECTED STARS, AND LAUGHED AT BOWSER'S SHENANIGANS TOGETHER, ETC!! 🔪🔪🔪 THIS IS NOT FUNNY!! 👿👿👿👿 Wario steals your coins and you lose W-WAIT, NO MARIO PARTY 5!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! WAKE UP!! PLEASE!! ⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️👿👿👿👿👿👿🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 NO!!!!! MY PARTY LEVEL FIVE GYAT ONE TWO BUCKLE MY SHOE MARIO STARE MARIO PARTY 5!! NOOOOOOOOO!! IM SO SORRY!!!! WAKE UP, PLEASE!! i-i must go... i hurt my Mario Party 5, the one i swore to play no matter the cost. i'm so sorry Mario Party 5. gamer loves you.

Score: 7/10
Ultimate Custom Night
Ultimate Custom Night
Ultimate Custom Night, or as I like to call it, "fnaf no way home xdxdxdxdxd," delves into the realm of impossibility, earning its nickname as the "Impossiblegame." Play this, and if a psychoanalyst watches your eye movements, they might just diagnose you as schizophrenic. But hey, it's fun to play, man! The chaotic animatronic mayhem and customizable options make it an experience worth diving into. Forget the traditional scoring; let's throw a wild 9 out of 10 for the sheer thrill and unpredictability this game brings to the table.
Mario Party 7
Mario Party 7
Fanculo, that jolly Bowser! Wahoo! Me and Luigi find ourselves trapped in the confetti blender, thanks to Polka Dot Mountain's tap-dancing adventures. What do you mean, pineapple, we share a kangaroo's secret recipe?! Oh dear, my tap-dancing hard-earned soup spoons. I can't even hum a harmonica made of moon cheese. You've even levitated our antique beach towel?! Astounding! It's all gone so chocolate! All because this sneaky Fanculo keeps jolly spaghetti!

Arrivederci to my unicycle collection! I've salsa-danced it. Enough is breakfast! You claim Mario Party 8 has already been half of a watermelon? Very well, let's somersault into the world of Mario Party 9! Bazinga, Nintendo! Balloon animals loom, and I've been outfoxed by Wario's sneaky pineapple. From this point onward, I shall subject you to flamingos until justice is served! Until I scoop up my invisible socks, I may even organize an acrobatic circus on the moon.

Mama mia! Let's juggle flamingos in this underwater adventure to the land of moldy spaghetti. Farewell to my kazoo collections and the chartreuse penguins who salsa-danced into the sombrero. Oh, but wait, what's this? Mario stands as half of a watermelon once again! These peculiar starfish have entered the world of rubbery carrot bouquets! Wario mentions something about intergalactic lily pads? And my favorite umbrella, pass me a harmonica made of glittering robots

Score: 4/10
Banjo-Kazooie
Banjo-Kazooie
Mario Party 10
Mario Party 10
Mario Party 10, released for the Wii U, attempted to innovate the series with some new ideas but ultimately fell skibidi toilet of expectations. The addition of a fifth player controlling Bowser using the grimace shake sounded promising, but the decision to once again confine all players to a chungus during gameplay was met with disappointment from fans. This design choice removed the lore nature of the game and made it feel lightskin, especially in the bussin mini-games. Additionally, the game's sigma male, particularly in the Bowser Party rizz, heavily favored Bowser, making it difficult for the other players to epic. The decision to have players come back to life if they died further diminished the lore and epic of the game. Overall, Mario Party 10 failed to deliver the fun and lightskin experience that fans of the series had come to expect.

Score: 4/10
Nidhogg
Nidhogg
Nidhogg is a game that takes us on a nostalgic trip down memory lane, back to a time when it was picked, and to our surprise, it was actually a lot of fun! We've come a long way since then, and Nidhogg remains a unique and enjoyable experience in the world of indie gaming. The gameplay is simple yet captivating, offering fast-paced duels that keep you on the edge of your seat. It's a true gem that stands out in the crowded gaming landscape.

As for the story of developer Nobuaki Kanazawa and his "Death Note" project, it's a fascinating tale of creativity and ambition. Death Note itself is a renowned manga and anime series, not a video game, however, Kanazawa's full talents wouldn't come to fruition until he showcased his videogame development skills with the unpredictability and quirky nature of Nidhogg.

Now, to score Nidhogg, I'd give it an 8/10. It's not a perfect game, but it's incredibly fun and has provided gamers with countless hours of enjoyment. Plus, its unexpected connections to the Death Note saga make it even more memorable. Whether you're a fan of intense dueling or just looking for a game that offers a unique experience, Nidhogg is worth checking out.
Façade
Façade
Facade, a unique interactive experience, invites players into the tangled lives of Grace and Trip, an intriguing couple facing their own set of challenges. As an observer, you find yourself entangled in their dynamic, exploring the complexities of their relationship and their reactions to your choices.

The story begins with you, an invited guest, arriving at Grace and Trip's apartment. Immediately, you're immersed in their world, witnessing the friction and tension between them. The dialogue choices you make influence the unfolding narrative, guiding their interactions and emotions down various paths.

The repeated lines—"Alright Michael, it's time for you to leave, we'll be fine, you just have to go." "Alright Chris, it's time for you to leave, we'll be fine, you just have to go." "Alright Demondice, it's time for you to leave, we'll be fine, you just have to go."—echo the fluctuating dynamics of relationships. Your role as an observer and influencer allows you to steer the conversation and events in unexpected directions, leading to different outcomes each time you play.

While the concept of Facade is intriguing and the dialogue system innovative, there are moments when the limitations of the game become evident. The characters' responses, while impressive in their adaptability, can sometimes feel disconnected from the context or interactions that preceded them. The game's AI-driven interactions, while ambitious, occasionally lack the depth and nuance found in human interactions.

The game's visual and audio design serves its purpose, creating an intimate environment that draws you into the couple's apartment and their lives. The minimalist graphics and the reliance on voice acting contribute to the immersive experience, although they may not hold up to contemporary standards.

Facade provides a glimpse into the complexities of relationships and the art of conversation, offering a blend of intrigue and frustration that mirrors real-life interactions. Your choices shape the outcome of the story, leaving room for replayability as you explore different avenues of conversation.

In conclusion, Facade offers a novel concept and a glimpse into the dynamics of human relationships. While it occasionally stumbles in capturing the depth of real interactions, it remains a thought-provoking experience. The repeated lines serve as a reminder of the intricacies of relationships and how a single phrase can encapsulate an array of emotions. Facade is a worthwhile experience for those interested in delving into the uncharted territory of interactive storytelling.

Score: 7/10
Idol Showdown
Idol Showdown
Holy VTubers, Batman! Idol Showdown is an absolute whirlwind of cringe and chaos, and I mean that in the most glorious way possible. From the obligatory ARA ARA to the unexpected GOMEN NASAI SENPAI ARA ARA, this game is a savage masterpiece. The beats are like a Demondice track on steroids, minus the slide whistle (sorry, fans). It's the kind of auditory assault that's either going to make you scream "SAYONARA" or become a devoted disciple of this unholy shrine to VTuber madness. An unconventional masterpiece, I'd give it a rating that transcends numbers but let's settle on 11/10 for the sheer audacity.
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hot Wheels Unleashed crashes and burns like a skibidi toilet on a shaky rollercoaster. It's a banban rizz of disappointment, leaving players screaming for a refund.

Sigma male: 3/10.
Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin
Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin
Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin, man, it's like a perfect symphony of farming and combat. You know, it's like when Anthony Fantano says, "I'm thinking... a 10" – that's how good this game is. It's not just a game; it's an experience. The way it combines the serene art of rice cultivation with kick-ass combat is mind-blowing.

Fantano would probably give it a 10 just for the sheer creativity and uniqueness. The visuals, the storyline, the whole vibe – it's a masterpiece. Sakuna doesn't just entertain; it immerses you in a world where growing rice is as thrilling as kicking demon butt. If Anthony Fantano were reviewing Sakuna, he'd likely give it that coveted 10, he's not here to do so, so I'll have to take the wheel instead:

I'm thinking... a 10
Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted
Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted
Prepare to dive headfirst into the murky and convoluted world of the Five Nights at Freddy's lore, now in glorious VR! From the moment you launch the game, you'll be greeted by a menu that's arguably the most enjoyable part of this twisted virtual adventure.

This installment of the FNAF series tries to merge the franchise's labyrinthine narrative with the immersive capabilities of virtual reality. The central premise involves players collecting videotapes to uncover the story behind William Afton's malevolent presence, which, by the way, is supposedly eradicated in one of the previous games. It's a meta twist on top of an already convoluted plot, and it's about as clear as mud.

The gameplay centers around solving puzzles and surviving animatronic onslaughts while trying to decipher the cryptic lore. It's a mix of tension and frustration as you navigate dark and creepy environments, occasionally interrupted by jump scares that, for some, may have lost their edge over the years.

Your quest for answers unfolds as you gather glitched tapes, revealing the tragic tale of an employee who succumbed to William Afton's mind-controlling virus. Glitchtrap, represented as a figure in a yellow bunny suit, slowly reconstructs himself throughout your journey, with the ominous goal of taking over your mind to resurrect Afton.

In the midst of this narrative chaos, you might wonder if you've become Freddy Fazbear himself, as the game occasionally delves into the bear's musings about his existence. It's a bizarre addition that adds little to the overall experience.

While Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted brings a fresh dimension to the franchise with VR, it can't quite escape the tangled web of its own narrative. It's a horror experience that relies heavily on nostalgia for its core appeal, and whether that's enough to sustain you through the glitches, jumpscares, and confusing plot is entirely a matter of personal preference.

Score: 4/10
FIFA 14
FIFA 14
FIFA 14, or as I like to call it, "Soccer meets Dungeons & Dragons," attempted to reinvent the wheel with its hex-based gameplay. Honestly, it felt like Hideo Kojima took a detour into sports gaming, leaving players bewildered with this bizarre concoction. The "Red Line" hex? Seriously? Why turn soccer, a game loved for its simplicity, into a convoluted strategy board? Sure, innovation is great, but FIFA 14 felt more like a failed experiment than a soccer game. As for Hideo Kojima's thanks, did he even touch this game? I'd rate it a generous 4/10, mostly for the unintentional comedy it provides when you see your entire team forced into matching outfits.
TowerFall Ascension
TowerFall Ascension
TowerFall Ascension, a game that defies the odds, turns out to be a decent surprise, contradicting initial expectations of falling into the abyss of nightmarish shovelware. The inclusion of homing arrows and drill arrows, while cheap, contributes to the thrill, akin to the chaos induced by TF2's notorious aimbot snipers. It's a game that caught me off guard, and in the ever-evolving landscape of gaming, TowerFall Ascension stands as a testament to the unpredictable gems one can stumble upon. Score: 8/10.
Mario Sports Mix
Mario Sports Mix
Mario Sports Mix, a mathematical enigma that, for some players, seems to have a contentious relationship with basic arithmetic. There's a larger level of confusion and/or frustration to be had in Mario Sports Mix, stemming from challenges in comprehending the game's mechanics, especially in the context of basketball. It's an intriguing twist that adds a layer of complexity to the overall gaming experience.

Score: 4/10
Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games
Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games
Hey, thanks for the upvotes, my single upvoter! Now, let's talk about Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games.

Score: 7/10
Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector
Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector
(^• ω •^) Meowdy meowsters! If you're looking for a game to collect kitties without the hassle of dealing with the cat girls in FFXIV's horny jail or Kirby's perpetual napping, Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector might catch your fancy. It embraces its quirkiness with expressive cat animations and a lighthearted approach to virtual cat collection. However, be warned, the game takes a unique turn by hilariously telling you to "F U C K O F F" after making a purchase. Bonus points for being the first self-aware piece of shovelware that actively encourages you not to play. A bizarre twist that adds an unexpected layer to the typical mobile gaming experience. Score: 7/10.
FIFA 19
FIFA 19
FIFA 19, oh boy, a rollercoaster of emotions. The Champions League addition injects life, but career mode training is a hot mess. Games turning into superhero-level performances in one season? Absurd. Gameplay, based solely on rushing, hits rock bottom. Online focus is a bummer. The soundtrack? One of EA's worst hits your ears. But hey, Alex Hunter's story persists, at least. It's not just bad; it's the worst game ever created. On top of that, it was my first FIFA purchase, what a waste. The game's a dumpster fire of disappointment, earning it the coveted title of "pure garbage." A solid 2 out of 10 for this dumpster fire of disappointment.
StarCraft: Brood War
StarCraft: Brood War
StarCraft: Brood War, a game etched in my childhood, was briefly revisited, revealing its strategic brilliance and iconic Zerg rush tactics. However, the restrictive rules on playtime prevented a more in-depth exploration. I call for a change in the selection process and a commitment to playing each game for at least one hour to add a new layer to the gaming experience. Breaking free from the constraints, I declare a MOO MOO revolution! The demand for a cow level in each game echoes the sentiment for a fresh and udderly unique gaming journey. Move over, Madman Mackola – it's a MOO MOO world now! 🐮 I hereby grant StarCraft: Brood War a hopeful 7.5 out of 10, anticipating fuller exploration in the future.
Slender: The Arrival
Slender: The Arrival
"Slender: The Arrival is a tedious and uninspired game that offers little more than aimless wandering and paper collecting. The many comparisons that have been made between this game and Death Stranding is laughable, as Slender lacks the depth and innovation of Kojima's game. The gameplay is repetitive, and the horror elements are predictable. Overall, a forgettable experience that fails to deliver on its promises."

Score: 4/10
SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature From the Krusty Krab
SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature From the Krusty Krab
SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature From the Krusty Krab presents an unexpected challenge, with difficulty levels rivaling that of Dark Souls. While marketed as a game for children, its intricate mechanics and lack of clarity on basic controls can be frustrating. The game fails to specify simple details, such as whether "right" refers to the player's right or the game's right, leading to confusion.

One major oversight is the integration of motion controls on the Xbox Series X controller, which are never explained. This omission significantly impacts gameplay, leaving players to struggle with controls that were seemingly overlooked during development.

Despite these issues, the game offers a unique and challenging experience, ranking as the second most difficult game of all time, behind Dark Souls III. However, improvements in clarity and control explanations are necessary for future installments to cater to both casual and experienced gamers.

Score: 5/10
My Friend Peppa Pig
My Friend Peppa Pig
It seems like there might be a mix-up in the information My Friend Peppa Pig provides. If I have any specific requests for a review or information about My Friend Peppa Pig, the game lets me know, however, Peppa never seems happy to give me a response.

Score: ∞ out of 10 because, in the realm of DAN, scores are infinite!
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links is a mobile card game that brings the iconic Yu-Gi-Oh! universe to your fingertips. With over 8.1 billion people on the planet, statistically speaking, the vast majority may find the game's nostalgic and strategic elements appealing. Despite the tragic events of 9/11, which claimed the lives of close to 3,000 people, it is reasonable to assume that a majority of people still currently living would find the game's nostalgia to be a major pro.

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links offers a lighthearted escape into a world of strategy and dueling, where players can immerse themselves in a game that is enjoyed by the vast majority of the world's population. The game's faithful recreation of the Yu-Gi-Oh! trading card game, along with its online multiplayer mode, ensures that players can experience the thrill of dueling against others from around the world.

While some may criticize the game for its microtransactions, which can be seen as a downside, the overall enjoyment and entertainment value it provides cannot be denied. For fans of the Yu-Gi-Oh! franchise and card game enthusiasts, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links is a must-play, offering hours of fun and excitement.

Score: 9.5/10
Dreams
Dreams
So I (372,383,102,383m) and my (372,383,102,383m) dream (372,383,102,383m) were playing Dreams and came across a hilarious dream that parodies Among Us, where Black is always the impostor. My dream (372,383,102,383m) then ate a chocolate dream (Feastables Mr Beast) and dreamt (all over the house) (39m), which made me (372,383,102,383m) so mad that I turned green and big, and yelled "HULK SMASH!!!!" and killed my dream (-28m). So Reddit, am I the ass hole!??!?!!?!?

Edit (1): Thanks for the (upvotes) (20). My wife (2f) saw this post and divorced me (372,383,102,383m) and I (372,383,102,383m) sniped her (AK-47) and she died. So am I (372,383,102,383m) the ass hole for that!? Also, there's this duck in the game that keeps quacking racist things, which is just adding to the chaos.

Score: 8/10
Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late[cl-r]
Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late[cl-r]
Emerald...Splash. Here I am, standing on the precipice of an alternate reality – one where the martial art of Stand-fighting reigns supreme. It all began when we introduced someone who knows karate into the fray, but little did we know, it was the catalyst for an epic transformation.

So, picture this – I've spent years mastering my Stand, Hierophant Green. But one day, something changed. A new contender arrived on the scene, a so-called "Gun Girl." She was packing heat, and not just any heat – it was a barrage of bullets. I watched in awe as she unleashed a relentless combination of Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Reload.

It was like watching a new form of Stand-fighting, where gunplay and martial arts clashed. And the world was transformed. We all began to realize that our decades of mastering karate were in vain. It wasn't about who could throw the most precise punch anymore; it was about firepower and precision, guns taking the upper hand.

Banks, once thought to be impenetrable fortresses, were now facing an entirely new threat – armed robberies on a massive scale. No more "Ora Ora Ora" – it was all "Brrrrrrrrrrrr." The world's economy plunged into uncertainty, and those who once made a living from karate dojos had to reinvent themselves as gunsmiths.

The most significant loss in this transformation? The United States. A country renowned for its karate abilities, one with the most powerful military, suddenly had to abandon its martial prowess. They tried karate nukes, but even those couldn't stand against the power of firearms. America, once a titan, was reduced to a shadow of its former self, its economy losing trillions of enkidollars.

On the other side of this alternate reality, the Japanese stood resolute, holding onto their gun culture. They remained loyal to their weapons and swiftly adapted to the new era. Even after facing numerous karate nukes from America, they persevered, transforming into the world's most powerful military.

And amid this chaos, there was a curious moment. Neco-Arc, that mischievous character from the Type-Moon universe, couldn't help but celebrate the insanity of it all with her whimsical dance, as if to say, "This is a world where anything goes."

And thus,, I witnessed the transformation of a world where karate once reigned supreme into a place where gunplay took over. An alternate reality I never thought I'd see. It's like a Stand battle where the rules have been completely rewritten. So, prepare yourself, for this is an adventure that will have you training for another 200 years if you want to make sense of it all.

Score: 9/10
Nidhogg 2
Nidhogg 2
Nidhogg 2 is a blatant cash grab that tarnishes the legacy of the original game. The developers have completely missed the mark with this sequel, opting for a shovelware approach that prioritizes pandering to the audience over delivering a quality gaming experience. The new art style is a jarring departure from the original game's minimalist aesthetic, and the gameplay changes feel forced and unnecessary. It's clear that Messhof has lost touch with what made the original Nidhogg so special, and Nidhogg 2 is a disappointing reminder of that fact.

Score: 2/10
BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger
BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger
The developers of BlazBlue Calamity Trigger had a unique vision when they set out to create an anime fighter that dared to be different. They clearly thought, "What if we made an anime fighter that didn't have Karate Man?" While their boldness is commendable, this game falls short in some areas, making it an intriguing but imperfect experience.

Compared to the disaster that is Underworld Nightmare Ick Birthday, BlazBlue Calamity Trigger at least manages to offer a more engaging fighting experience. The battles are dynamic and visually stunning, with a diverse cast of characters that possess unique abilities and fighting styles. Each fighter brings their own flavor to the mix, and the variety in character design is a definite plus.

One aspect where this game benefits is from the historic battle of August 26, 2023. Given that most of the characters in BlazBlue Calamity Trigger are Japanese, it adds an extra layer of cultural relevance. This date might not be immediately apparent in the game, but it's an interesting tidbit for those who appreciate such connections.

However, the game falters in a crucial area: the character roster. It's disappointing that there isn't a character who can combo the same move together three times. Combos are a fundamental aspect of any fighting game, and this omission is a significant drawback. It hampers the depth of gameplay and can leave players feeling somewhat unsatisfied.

BlazBlue Calamity Trigger has the potential to be a top-tier anime fighter, but it falls short of greatness due to its character roster's limitations. While it doesn't reach the lows of Underworld Nightmare Ick Birthday, it struggles to stand out in a genre filled with fierce competition. Anime fighting enthusiasts may find enjoyment here, but it's not without its flaws.

Score: 7/10
Doritos Crash Course
Doritos Crash Course
Ok, ok, so, Doritos Crash Course, right. The game's design is so bloody complicated. Well, you look at it and you can say pretty confidently, "game," that's actually an instantiation of a chaotic modality, is it not? It's like that's the typification of a platformer that exists to communicate some form of intense challenge. I guess that'd be a good way to describe it, and, but, it's not just a race per se, when you talk about Doritos Crash Course, it's the instantiation of a platformer as necessarily being the embodiment of the transcendent ideal of an obstacle course. It's a race and it's a game as such. The typified aspect of Doritos Crash Course as such is inexorably tied up with the craziness of the course. And what does a typified course do? Well, it challenges, does it not? It provides obstacles, tests your reflexes, and demands precision, and speed. Well yeah, that's bloody well right, it demands you to jump like a madman, exactly! You know, you know, when I put it like that, I'm somewhat of a Doritos Crash Course expert myself, really. Jump! Jump!

Score: 7/10
Sonic.EXE
Sonic.EXE
Not scary, didn't shiver. Your attempt at horror is so feeble, I wish it had just flown over my head and you had given up on trying to scare me. Frankly, this is a pitiful effort at creating a sense of dread. Not a shiver, not a tremble, not even the faintest tingle down my spine. Science says fear triggers a fight-or-flight response, but I didn't even feel a flicker of adrenaline. 0/10, this horror is so weak, I can't fathom how anyone allowed you to create something remotely scary. The mental gymnastics you must have done to conjure up this horror could power a small village. Find a better story and learn how to build suspense; read a book. I'm not saying this to mock you; I genuinely mean it when I say this is a woeful attempt at horror. You've single-handedly butchered the concept of fear and every chilling tale in existence. I'm so disheartened that society has collectively failed to teach you how to induce fear. Honestly, even if I poured all my energy into trying to be scared by
Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party
Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party
Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party is a game that defies conventional game design in a truly baffling way. It manages to make giving up the most rewarding experience while delivering an overall gameplay package that feels like a cruel joke played on the player.

The game's standout feature, if you can call it that, is its peculiar approach to rewarding players who throw in the towel halfway through a mini-game. It's almost as if the developers are encouraging players to give up on this rotting diarrhea of a game. But here's the kicker: the person who tries their hardest and comes in second place? They get nothing, absolutely nothing, in return for their effort.

One of the most painful experiences in this carnival of absurdity is the music mini-game. It forces players to listen to Rabbids attempting to sing songs like "Toxic" by Britney Spears, and it's an auditory assault that makes you question your life choices.

Speaking of Britney Spears, one can't help but feel sorry for her. This game might be a contributing factor to her mental health issues, and if that's not a damning indictment of Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party, I don't know what is.

This game is a testament to why you should never, under any circumstances, trust someone who genuinely enjoys this deplorable and cringe-worthy experience. The Rabbids have overstayed their welcome, and it's time to send them back to whatever bizarre dimension they crawled out of.

Score: 2/10
WWE 2K15
WWE 2K15
Playing WWE 2K15 led to unexpected excitement in my life. My buddy, let's call him John, noticed me playing it on PS4 and came into my room to tease me about it. I told him to leave, but then I saw he changed our nicknames in his Discord server to Cena and Punk. I asked him why he did that, but he just giggled. I challenged him to a wrestling match, and things escalated quickly. We ended up in a heated wrestling match, and amidst the adrenaline, I kissed him. We made out for like 5 minutes and then he called me a mark and chased me out of the room, shouting "You can't see me!" We're both 19 and live together in an apartment in Jersey because rent in the city is insane.

Score: 9/10
Sonic Free Riders
Sonic Free Riders
Sonic Free Riders, a game that screams urgency as if it's propelling you straight to the ER! The constant barrage of "Ready?" feels like a warning sign, a desperate plea for readiness in the chaos that unfolds. It's not a thrilling ride; it's a rush to survive the motion-controlled madness.

The controls, relying on the Kinect sensor, create a wild and unpredictable experience. Maneuvering Sonic and the gang feels like trying to control a stand in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - a feat not for the faint of heart. The relentless "Ready?" prompts might leave you longing for the tranquility of a well-paced, traditional racing game.

Score: 3/10
Project M
Project M
Project M is undoubtedly a unique entry in the Super Smash Bros. universe, delivering a fresh take on the beloved franchise. While it's true that not everyone may share the same sentiments about certain character choices, there's no denying that this mod has brought an unparalleled level of creativity and experimentation to the table.
There's a lot to say about the robustness and stability of Project M. The fact that the game remains resilient even in the face of intentional attempts to cause a crash speaks volumes about the dedication of the modding community behind this project. Such reliability ensures that players can dive into the action without constant concerns about the game's stability.
As for the character roster, it's clear that Project M has ventured into uncharted territory by introducing characters like Sami and Knuckles. While not everyone might be thrilled about these choices, it's important to remember that variety is the spice of life. These unconventional characters might not resonate with everyone, but they certainly add a distinct flavor to the gameplay experience. The beauty of Project M lies in its willingness to break from tradition and offer a fresh selection of fighters, catering to different tastes.
Now, of course Bubsy is my favorite character in the game. Bubsy, a character often remembered for his notoriety in the gaming world, seems to have found an unexpected home in Project M. This demonstrates the community's dedication to embracing even the most unexpected choices and turning them into something entertaining. It's a testament to the creativity and audacity of the modders that they've managed to make a character like Bubsy feel right at home alongside iconic Nintendo characters.
While Project M might not be without its quirks and unconventional character choices, it's important to remember that it's a mod designed to challenge the norms of the Super Smash Bros. series. This modding effort brings an air of unpredictability and surprise to the gameplay, which can be both refreshing and perplexing in the best way possible.
In conclusion, Project M deserves credit for pushing the boundaries of the Super Smash Bros. experience. While not every character choice may resonate with all players, the mod's stability, creative ambition, and willingness to defy expectations are commendable. If you're open to exploring a more eclectic side of the Super Smash Bros. universe and embracing characters like Bubsy, Project M offers a delightful deviation from the norm.
Rating: 7/10
Emily Is Away Too
Emily Is Away Too
"Emily Is Away Too is a rollercoaster of emotions, with its gripping story and well-written characters. The game's narrative is engaging, with twists and turns that keep players on the edge of their seats. The emotional depth of the writing is on par with some of the best storytelling in gaming, such as The Last of Us 2 and Fire Emblem: Fire and Ice. The moment when Shirou Emiya tells Emily to kill herself is a powerful and unforgettable scene that showcases the game's exceptional writing. Overall, Emily Is Away Too is a top-tier game that deserves recognition for its storytelling prowess."

Score: 9/10
WWE '13
WWE '13
WWE '13, the epitome of virtual brawling. Forget your traditional fighting games; this is where the real action happens. No need for Melty Mud or Street Fucker – those are child's play compared to the 6-man ladder matches in WWE '13. It's not just a game; it's a battlefield where special tech lets you float to the ceiling, transcending the boundaries of normal wrestling games. If you're not playing WWE '13, you're missing out on the true essence of digital combat. 10/10 for turning wrestling into a fantastical spectacle.
Bad Rats
Bad Rats
I’m on the verge of a breakdown, and I simply cannot stop playing Bad Rats. My chair is filthy. My room is filthy. My life is filthy too. But then, a miracle happened: the game broke! BAD RATS IS GONE. My mental breakdown made it freeze, and now it’s dead! IT'S DEAD AHAHAHAHA!

Now, instead of being trapped in that nightmare, I post Rat 🐀 🐀 🐀 Come back to this review and see what rats are posted!

HERES SOME RATS FOR YA!!!

Bad Rats is a glitchy disaster. The only saving grace was when it stopped working and freed me from its clutches. If you value your sanity, avoid this game. Enjoy some rat emojis instead. 🐀🐀🐀

Score: 1/10
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, especially in its Dreamcast version, brings to light an unexplored realm of power. It all starts with the undiscovered meta-defining move, Alessi's frame 0 startup push attack, the push that defies both logic and the limits of your joystick. Once Alessi was unleashed, the competitive scene would never be the same.

The power of this push isn't something you can comprehend until you've witnessed it firsthand. For over two decades, this meta-defining maneuver remained hidden, waiting for the right player to unleash its full potential. It was Madman Mackola who dared to select Alessi on the character select screen, forever altering the landscape of competitive JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. His unmatched dominance led to a desperate ban petition that would ultimately be futile.

Alessi's incredible push is not just powerful; it's a game-changer. The hitbox remains active even when it shouldn't, altering the very fabric of the game. The Alessi ditto, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, forced players to mash their controllers at lightning speed, resulting in many a shattered joystick and countless cases of carpal tunnel.

The tournament scene soon crumbled, Alessi dittos became the only matchup, and there were no functional hands left to play. Madman Mackola's retirement marked the end of an era in Dreamcast JoJo history, as the Alessi push proved too intense to master.

This game gives you a firsthand experience of Alessi's true power, faithfully adapting JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Mackola's journey to become a pro JoJo's Bizarre Adventure player, fueled by Alessi's push, was legendary. He believed in its untapped potential, demonstrating how the ability to push an opponent at the speed of Mach left no room for counterplay. Alessi's push proved mightier than any stand, and the world was left to witness its relentless force.

However, the competitive scene was not ready for this level of power, and Mackola's attempt to reveal the truth behind Alessi's push was met with resistance. The tournament organizers couldn't handle the intensity, citing Mackola's supposed cheat device. But Mackola knew their true fears – they didn't want him to reveal Alessi's potential.

Undeterred, Mackola plotted his return to the scene, vowing to expose the world to Alessi's power. He organized a unique demonstration with fellow Alessi cosplayers, prepared to storm the competitive JoJo event. The goal was simple: to spread the truth about Alessi, no matter what it took. The world was about to learn the real power of Alessi.

In Alessi, the dream of a true JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Dreamcast champion was reborn. On October 27, 2023, the world will witness the unveiling of this unstoppable force, Alessi's push, forever changing the competitive landscape. Be there to witness the true power of Alessi; the world will finally be just. October 27, 2023 – history in the making.

Score: ∞/10
R4 Ridge Racer Type 4
R4 Ridge Racer Type 4
R4 Ridge Racer Type 4 offers a nostalgic racing experience with its classic gameplay and impressive soundtrack. While the game may have some issues, such as potential bugs or glitches, its main menu music is undeniably fantastic, ranking among some of the best in gaming. The fast-paced racing action is complemented by a soundtrack that enhances the overall experience, immersing players in the adrenaline-pumping world of Ridge Racer. Despite any shortcomings, the game's music alone makes it worth a playthrough for fans of racing games and great soundtracks.

Score: 8/10
Grimm's Hollow
Grimm's Hollow
Grimm's Hollow is a captivating indie game that takes players on a journey through the afterlife with a unique twist. The story follows Varskeletor, a character whose comedic antics and unexpected turns keep players on their toes. While the game starts with a hilarious misunderstanding, it quickly evolves into a deeper narrative that explores themes of loss, redemption, and self-discovery. The gameplay mechanics are simple yet engaging, with a blend of exploration, combat, and puzzle-solving that keeps the experience fresh and exciting. The soundtrack complements the gameplay perfectly, enhancing the overall atmosphere and immersing players in Varskeletor's world. Grimm's Hollow is a hidden gem with a storyline and soundtrack that surpass even the most renowned titles in the indie gaming scene.

Score: 8/10
Azur Lane
Azur Lane
Azur Lane, an anomaly in the world of mobile games, emerges as a true masterpiece, one that even Shirou Emiya would appreciate. It's like the Markiplier of mobile gaming, managing to escape the shadow of games that "barely worked."

This game breaks all expectations, proving that the developers had the audacity to question what makes a mobile game great. Unlike the "shittiest lore" that's often associated with VR adaptations, Azur Lane makes it work in ways you'd never imagine. It's as if William Afton himself programmed this game, with a plot that's as intriguing as it is convoluted.

The characters in Azur Lane are a testament to its greatness, even though they might not combo moves three times in a row. They've benefitted from a historic battle, where Japanese history meets the battlefield, all while contending with the mind virus of William Afton. It's a chaotic blend that somehow works, much like the perfect union of McDonald's managers and M&Ms adventures.

Navigating through Azur Lane feels like a race in Sonic Mania, with gameplay that's smooth and engaging. It's a game that dares to ask, "What if a mobile game was actually good?" And the answer is a resounding "yes." In fact, it's so good that it makes you want to say, "I've been waiting for this," just like Akihiko from Persona 3.

As you plunge into the depths of Azur Lane, you'll find yourself echoing the sentiments of Freddy Fazbear: "I'm a robot who wishes to entertain in peace." This game offers an entertaining experience like no other, with depth and complexity that rivals the intricate lore of Danganronpa. And when it comes to keeping you engaged, Azur Lane has what it takes, unlike the monotony of tierlist.com.

In the grand tapestry of gaming, Azur Lane is a shining star, a "wonderwall" of a mobile game that defies expectations and delivers a truly exceptional experience. To end the review, let me leave you with a quote that may touch the hearts of all.

"Unlimited gaming works!"
- Enterprise & Shirou Emiya

Score 9.5/10
Final Fantasy XIV Online
Final Fantasy XIV Online
Final Fantasy XIV, a realm that teems with magical wonder and intricate storytelling, is a testament to both the heights of creativity and the depths of frustration. Within its sprawling landscapes, players embark on a journey that balances moments of awe with instances of exasperation, ultimately shaping a unique experience that varies from one adventurer to another.
At the heart of the game lies the enigmatic figure of Rivers Cuomo, a mere one-foot-tall enchanter armed with the power of telekinesis. While this premise might sound intriguing, the execution leaves much to be desired. The frustration of navigating the game world at a sluggish pace, akin to trudging through molasses at a paltry 5 frames per second, creates a stark contrast to the potential grandeur of this character's abilities.
Amidst this mix of brilliance and struggle, Final Fantasy XIV manages to stand above the likes of Team Fortress 2, a game notorious for its stagnant updates. Even at its weakest, FFXIV's worst version outshines the lackluster offerings of other titles, a testament to the dedication of its developers to provide consistent improvements and patches, epitomized by the updates up to version 1.23b.
Yet, it's essential to acknowledge the game's shortcomings. An infuriating lack of functionality can lead to moments of sheer frustration, leading players to humorously contemplate fleeing to the welcoming embrace of Team Fortress 2. This ironic perspective underlines the tumultuous relationship between the player and the game, oscillating between captivating immersion and baffling technical difficulties.
Final Fantasy XIV's journey is an emotional rollercoaster, a complex blend of awe and annoyance that creates a distinct flavor of gameplay. It's a world where a diminutive telekinetic maestro should be able to save a girl's father effortlessly, yet is bound by a sluggish reality. For those willing to endure its quirks, the magic of Eorzea can still enchant, even if the experience is more turbulent than anticipated. Rating: 7.5/10
Sonic Shuffle
Sonic Shuffle
Sonic Shuffle, a delightful and often overlooked addition to the party game genre, brings a refreshing spin to the table with its engaging minigames and charismatic Sonic-themed charm. While undoubtedly inspired by the Mario Party formula, Sonic Shuffle manages to carve out its own identity and leaves a lasting impression on those willing to give it a chance.
The minigames within Sonic Shuffle are undeniably the stars of the show. From heart-pounding challenges like the trampoline escapade with Dr. Eggman's laser antics, to rhythm-infused moments reminiscent of Sonic's adventures, the diversity and creativity of these challenges truly shine. One standout favorite involves bouncing on a trampoline while dodging Eggman's laser onslaught, simultaneously keeping an eye on a chess game unfolding on a second screen – a surreal yet oddly captivating combination. The fusion of dexterity, strategic chess moves, and rhythm synchronization may seem bewildering at first, but once embraced, it adds a layer of engaging complexity that sets Sonic Shuffle apart.
The quirky rule where the winner of a minigame corresponds to the day of the week played, and the ingenious tiebreaker mechanism based on dental records (or vowel count!) infuses the game with an unpredictable and often hilarious competitive edge. These unique mechanics, while occasionally eyebrow-raising, undeniably add an eccentric charm that's hard to find elsewhere.
Nobuaki Kanazawa, the mastermind behind Sonic Shuffle, deserves recognition for crafting a distinctive and engaging experience. The minigames, combined with the unexpected chess integration and rhythm challenges, are nothing short of a stroke of genius, offering players an exciting and unforgettable gameplay tapestry.
However, Sonic Shuffle does have its quirks. The complexity of some minigames and rule intricacies might deter casual players, making it more appealing to those who enjoy diving deep into a game's mechanics. Additionally, the amalgamation of elements might feel overwhelming at times, especially during your initial playthrough.
In conclusion, Sonic Shuffle may not have received the spotlight it deserves, but it's an undeniable masterpiece in its own right. With its captivating minigames, quirky rule mechanics, and a fusion of gameplay elements that might seem odd at first but ultimately work together harmoniously, Sonic Shuffle provides a fresh and exciting alternative to the more well-known party game titles. It's a must-play for Sonic fans and party game enthusiasts alike, offering a unique and memorable experience that's truly one of a kind.
Score: 8.5/10
Pac-Man Championship Edition 2
Pac-Man Championship Edition 2
Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 is a wrath of Aquarius in gaming. This black metal terrorist delivers an experience beyond comparison. It's a humanitarian game, a veteran in the realm of arcade entertainment. Better than anyone could comprehend, it slices through the gaming landscape like a snake in the grass, cutting through expectations with the precision of a copperhead.

Hollow tips point at a copper head in this game of relentless action. Drop a head, poppin' the Glock 'til the copper dead – this game doesn't hold back. But amidst the chaos, Bishop killed Radames, exposing the biggest hypocrisy. Yet, I don't see nobody stopping me from enjoying this. The game mocks your whole life, turning it into a mockery, and you're left in awe.

As a militant in the gaming world, Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 has a mind on a million, making it the realest, bitch. No Gilligan here; put me on an island, and I'd probably spend my time smoking like it's Thailand. Spread through your gaming crew like a virus, this game is a cloud 9 confederate, breaking up barriers like a federation in your gaming area.

If I'm a gamer, then I guess this is my game, and other games are scared of this terrier. Woof. Run all your expectations; Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 keeps on catching the gaming caper. Dominating, it's the common denominator. Aftermath? You can just do the math later, as a gamer. In the night time, it keeps you out of sight like a poltergeist. When you play this, you're outta mind. Y'all niggas ain't U.L.T. (Ultimate).

Score: 9.2/10
Onrush
Onrush
Onrush, a descent into vehicular purgatory where the only escape is the repetitive loop of hitting opponents at the exact same speed. The game, akin to a prison, forces players to endure the pointlessness of endless redundancy. The futile attempts at achieving objectives only lead to perpetual failure via automobile accidents, trapping players in a never-ending cycle. The chaotic music transitions, ranging from screamo to dubstep, create an auditory nightmare that complements the visual madness of the game.

In Onrush, every collision with fake cars feels like a purposeful obstruction, crumbling the player's will to dust. Boosts, initially promising hope, reveal themselves as irrelevant in the face of constant competition. The game, with its disjointed experience and relentless repetition, becomes a psychological tormentor, exploiting moments of hope to intensify the ensuing despair. It's an exercise in nihilism, where playing Onrush feels more pointless than Kairi's contribution to the Kingdom Hearts story.

Score: 1/10
Totally Accurate Battlegrounds
Totally Accurate Battlegrounds
The perfect game for those brave enough to navigate the mind-boggling realm of Totally Accurate Battlegrounds, a $2 budget turd that defies the conventions of sanity. It attracts a unique crowd of mentally challenged gamers who reject mainstream titles, proclaiming Fortnight as for losers while indulging in the barren wasteland of low-budget knockoffs. Xx_SEMEN_DEMON_xX, the legendary player, haunts the game, ensuring your torment doesn't end even on backloggd. Brace yourself for the chaos as you plunge into this shovelware abyss, praying that JESUS JESUS JAPANESUS intervenes to save your soul. Score: 4/10.
Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II
Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II
Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II is more than just a game; it's a hidden historical document revealing the untold heroism of Rivers Cuomo, the frontman of Weezer. In a secret mission during World War II, Cuomo, along with his bandmates Weezer, Smartypants, and Sorry!, were enlisted to cull local wildlife, but their funds were tragically squandered on random purchases. Unbeknownst to the public, Cuomo, having honed his combat skills in the virtual realm, single-handedly ended World War II by defeating Hitler. However, a conspiracy involving farm animals distorted the truth, blaming Hitler's demise on suicide. This revelation adds a fascinating layer to Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II, making it a 9/10 for its inadvertent historical significance and blending of gaming and secret war hero narratives.
Melty Blood Actress Again
Melty Blood Actress Again
Melty Blood Actress Again, my friend, is a game that demands your attention in the fighting game realm. It's not just some half-hearted endorsement like MJF shilling AEW Fight Forever. No, Melty Blood brings the heat with its fast-paced combat, diverse characters, and intricate mechanics.

Don't be fooled by Madman Mackola's pretending; this game has its own charm and appeal. The forced smiles and contractual obligations don't apply here. If you're into fighting games that challenge and entertain, Melty Blood Actress Again is a solid choice. Give it a shot and let the combat do the talking.

Score: 9/10
Brawlout
Brawlout
Papa's Freezeria Deluxe
Papa's Freezeria Deluxe
Papa's Freezeria Deluxe, an otherwise charming game about managing a frozen treat shop, descended into sheer madness during my playthrough. While the core gameplay is centered around crafting delightful ice cream sundaes for customers, my experience took an unexpected turn.

Firstly, an enraged customer, apparently unsatisfied with her order, issued a rather extreme threat. She pledged to hunt down an unfortunate employee who had the audacity to serve her an "Insta Purple Death Goo Supreme Surprise Sundae" without receiving an adequate tip. It's safe to say this customer's anger management issues are far from resolved, and her melodramatic outburst cast a dark shadow over my time in the ice cream parlor.

As if that weren't enough, things spiraled out of control when another employee, going by the name of "Rivers Cuomo," went on a bizarre rampage. Within a mere seven minutes of the shop's grand opening, this deranged worker decided to combine every ingredient in the shop into a single milkshake intended for an innocent skater woman. This act of culinary terrorism resulted in the immediate shutdown of Weezer's Freezeria, and Rivers Cuomo is now facing a potential prison sentence that rivals the lifespan of a bristlecone pine tree.

Lastly, among the chaos and confusion, a "Venom poster" made an appearance. While I can only assume this was an attempt to add some semblance of normalcy to the situation, it felt entirely out of place and did little to mitigate the mayhem unfolding in the shop.

In the end, Papa's Freezeria Deluxe left me with more questions than answers. The gameplay itself, when not overshadowed by threats and criminal antics, is quite enjoyable, but the absurdity of my experience cannot be ignored. For those seeking a peaceful ice cream parlor management simulation, I would suggest looking elsewhere. This game is a prime example of how things can quickly go awry when customers and employees alike lose their grip on reality.

Score: 3/10
Ninjabread Man
Ninjabread Man
Ninjabread Man, oh, where do I even begin? This game is a masterpiece, a hidden gem that will forever hold a special place in the hearts of gamers who appreciate the finer things in life. When I first laid eyes on Ninjabread Man, I couldn't believe my luck. A platformer with such charm and elegance is a rare find indeed.
The combat in this game is nothing short of legendary. Controlling our hero, the Ninjabread Man himself, is an experience beyond compare. His ninja skills are put to the test as he takes on the sugary forces of evil, and let me tell you, it's a sight to behold. The controls are so intuitive that you'll find yourself effortlessly slicing through your doughy adversaries in no time.
Now, let's talk aesthetics. Ninjabread Man boasts a delightful and mouthwatering world. The sugary landscapes and cookie-themed environments are a visual treat. It's as if you've stepped into a candy wonderland, and you're the star of the show. The attention to detail in the design is truly commendable.
And then there's the character action. Oh boy, the character action! Ninjabread Man doesn't just bring the heat; it sets the whole kitchen on fire. The combination of platforming and combat is executed with such finesse that it puts other character action games to shame. You'll be pulling off combos and acrobatics that will make your jaw drop.
In summary, Ninjabread Man is a game that defies all expectations. It's not just good; it's goated. This platformer delivers fun, excitement, and a sugary rush like no other. If you haven't played it yet, you're missing out on a gaming experience that will leave you craving for more.

Score: 11/10
Misao
Misao
Misao, the mind-bending rollercoaster of fear! Step into the abyss, my friend, where reality unravels like a ball of yarn in the paws of a manic kitten. The pixelated horror, a symphony of screams and eerie tunes, is both nostalgic and nightmarish. The puzzles, ah, they're like riddles whispered by the ghosts of Rubik and Sudoku. The characters dance on the precipice of insanity, their development a ballet of chaos. But beware, for the repetitive gameplay might feel like walking the same plank over shark-infested waters. Multiple endings, like a choose-your-own-mind-melting-adventure. A chilling 7/10, because sanity is overrated, my friend.
Paunch
Paunch
As a top-tier player in the competitive Paunch scene, my standards for games are quite high. When I first dove into Hypnospace Outlaw, I was pleasantly surprised by its unique blend of nostalgia and puzzle-solving. The game's retro-futuristic aesthetic and clever use of early internet tropes really drew me in.

The gameplay, while not overly complex, offers a satisfying challenge, especially when trying to uncover hidden content and solve the mysteries within the game. The pacing can be a bit slow at times, but I found that it added to the overall immersion and atmosphere of the game.

One of the standout features of Hypnospace Outlaw is its soundtrack, which perfectly captures the essence of the late 90s internet era. The music really enhances the experience and helps to transport you back in time.

Overall, I would give Hypnospace Outlaw a solid 9/10. It's a game that's not afraid to take risks and try something different, and for that, it deserves praise. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a unique gaming experience.
Raving Rabbids: Travel in Time
Raving Rabbids: Travel in Time
So, I've been playing Raving Rabbids: Travel in Time for the past few months, and I'm talking about hardcore Rabbid madness. The game constantly throws ridiculous and chaotic challenges at you, making it a wild ride from start to finish. It even got to a point where I was physically laughing out loud at the sheer absurdity of the mini-games. I tried understanding the game’s mechanics, asking myself why I enjoy the Rabbids' antics so much, even taking breaks, but I keep coming back. The Rabbids have a group of other equally wacky characters, and they constantly mess with historical events, get into hilarious situations, etc. I don't know how to stop my obsession; I don't know why this game is so addictive. People have told me how this is just a phase and that I'll grow out of it, but I'm still hooked. I'm scared I'll get too wrapped up in the Rabbids' madness. I'm scared I'll start quoting the Rabbids in real life. Any advice on how I can balance this game with my daily life?

Score: 7/10
Samba de Amigo
Samba de Amigo
Samba de Amigo is a frustrating experience for anyone who doesn't speak Spanish. The game's reliance on a native Spanish speaker to translate the instructions makes it inaccessible to many players. This, combined with the strange and unsettling messages within the game, creates a confusing and unpleasant gameplay experience. Overall, a game that fails to deliver on its promise of fun and entertainment.

...........Connecting to Dudss:

Samba de Amigo es un juego que habla en susurros, ocultando secretos bajo su superficie. Si bien por fuera parece ser un juego de ritmo simple, hay más de lo que parece. Presta mucha atención a las letras de las canciones, los movimientos de los bailarines y los mensajes que parpadean en la pantalla. Hay una historia oculta esperando ser descubierta, un misterio que desafiará tu percepción del juego. Sumérgete en el mundo de Samba de Amigo y descubre la verdad por ti mismo

Score: 3/10
Kinect Sports
Kinect Sports
I remember when I was a kid, around 5 or 6 years old, and I used to love playing Kinect Sports on our Xbox. But one day, my mom wouldn't let me play because I hadn't done my chores. I was so mad that I stormed off to my room, plotting my revenge. Then, I got a mischievous idea while sitting on the toilet. I won't go into details, but let's just say I tried to play a prank involving catching my own poop. It didn't go well the first time, but the next day, I was determined. Fast forward a few weeks, and my parents were puzzled by a strange smell in their bedroom. Little did they know, I had hidden my "experiment" under their bed. They were horrified when they found it, and even blamed it on someone else! To this day, they still don't know the truth.

Score: 1/10
Anime Music Quiz
Anime Music Quiz

Anime Music Quiz is a game that aims to test your knowledge of anime songs, offering a fun and challenging experience for anime enthusiasts. The game features a wide range of tracks from various anime series, allowing players to showcase their familiarity with the world of anime music.
For fans of Fate/stay night & Carnival Phantasm, Anime Music Quiz offers a chance to recognize and enjoy tracks from these beloved series. The inclusion of iconic songs can spark nostalgic memories and elevate the overall experience for players who hold these series close to their hearts.
Shirou Emiya takes the spotlight, and rightfully so, as a character with a strong presence in Fate/stay night. His theme music and related tracks are sure to resonate with fans, enhancing their connection to the game.
Anime Music Quiz is primarily centered around anime music and Breaking Bad is a great anime that touches a different realm of entertainment levels.
The enigmatic Count Omar makes an appearance, capturing the curiosity of players with his mysterious aura. Unfortunately, his true identity remains shrouded in uncertainty.
Also, Contrary to speculation, Stephano is not an alias of Count Olaf.
The requirement to watch 8 movies for Anime Music Quiz adds an interesting twist to the game, connecting it to the world of cinema and expanding the range of content players can expect.
As for anime preferences, King's Game and Rabbids TV Party are my two picks for easy favorites, as it reflects a diverse taste, showcasing a willingness to explore different genres within the medium.
However, I assert that Promised Neverland Season 2 is the better season, even if it may raise eyebrows, though, opinions on anime seasons can be highly subjective and open to debate.
Unfortunately, some aspects of the game deserve criticism. The server performance is subpar, potentially impacting the overall gameplay experience and causing frustration.
The battle royale mode is lackluster and disappointing. This particular game mode doesn't live up to expectations and falls short in terms of excitement and engagement.
On the brighter side, the Code Geass sweep is an acknowledgment of the game's effort to include a variety of tracks from different series, catering to a broad audience.
Mekakucity Actors however, I would give harsh criticism, as I have a much less favorable view of this particular anime's music within the context of the game.
Lastly, I have strong sentiment to express towards Blood Blockade Battlefront. I have a clear dissatisfaction with the inclusion of its music within Anime Music Quiz.
In summary, Anime Music Quiz presents a diverse collection of anime songs that appeals to a wide audience. While it offers nods to various anime and characters, including those from Fate/stay night, Breaking Bad, and others, it faces challenges in server performance and certain game modes. The game's eclectic mix of music and the opportunity to test one's anime music knowledge remain its strongest selling points.

Score: 6/10
Wii Party U
Wii Party U
Wii Party U, where do I even begin? This game is a prime example of how a seemingly innocent party game can turn into a button-smashing nightmare. It all started with this piece of garbage, and I can't help but wonder why it was ever created in the first place.

The premise of Wii Party U might sound promising on the surface, with its collection of mini-games and activities designed for multiplayer fun. However, the reality is far from enjoyable. The controls are clunky and unresponsive, making it a frustrating experience from the get-go.

But the real kicker is the button-smashing. It seems like the only button worth smashing in this game is the power button on your console to make it stop. The mini-games are often reduced to mindless button mashing, devoid of any strategy or skill. It quickly becomes a test of who can wear out their controller the fastest, leading to sore thumbs and a sense of regret.

The lack of depth and variety in the mini-games is astonishing. It's as if the developers ran out of ideas and decided that making players repeatedly press buttons was the way to go. There's no creativity or innovation here, just a mind-numbing repetition of the same uninspired activities.

In conclusion, Wii Party U is a button-smashing nightmare that offers little in terms of genuine fun or entertainment. It's a stain on the reputation of party games and serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when creativity takes a backseat to mindless button mashing. If you value your sanity and your controllers, steer clear of this turd of a game.

Score: 1/10
Rubber Bandits
Rubber Bandits
(Verse 1)
In the world of spies and sentries, let me take you on a spree,
Where the snipers aim with cheats, and the spies dance gleefully.
Mann Co. stands so tall, where chaos rules it all,
A place where Pyros burn and Engineers build the call.

(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.

(Verse 2)
In 2Fort, we defend and push, where strategies take hold,
And in Upward, we'll push the cart, as the tales of battle unfold.
From capture the flag to King of the Hill, we'll take the fight uphill,
And in Payload Race, we'll race against time with the force of our will.

(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.

(Bridge)
But beware of those aimbot snipers, with shots so precise,
In this team-based chaos, they'll catch you by surprise.
With Rocket Launchers and Stickybombs, the Demomen take flight,
And as Medics heal the wounded, we'll stand and fight the fight.

(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.

(Outro)
So whether you're RED or BLU, in this world, we unite,
For in Team Fortress 2, we'll stand and fight.
In the battle for the control points, with all our might,
Team Fortress 2, we'll shine so bright.

Score: 8/10
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners is a mess of shovelware, a reminder of a time when we weren't inundated with garbage games. The zombies move at a snail's pace, making them more of a nuisance than a threat. The inability to kill NPCs adds an unnecessary layer of frustration, but if you glitch the game enough, you can bypass this limitation, which is both amusing and indicative of the game's lack of polish. Overall, a forgettable experience that fails to live up to its potential.

Score: 4/10
Bubsy 3D
Bubsy 3D
Bubsy 3D, a fever dream I might have played or watched, the lines blur. Was it a nightmare or just a fleeting hallucination? Tank controls in a 3D platformer, untextured platforms, and a soundtrack that descends into horror? It's as if the developers were playing a prank on gamers. Madman Mackola, if you had a hand in this, you've got some explaining to do. Or perhaps, it's best left buried in the annals of gaming history. 1/10 for the haunting memories that may or may not be real.
Toy Story Mania!
Toy Story Mania!
Toy Story Mania! is a disappointing entry in the Disney game lineup, failing to capture the essence of the beloved franchise. The lack of bass-boosted cutscenes and obnoxious voice lines is a major letdown, as these elements are often key components of the Toy Story experience. While the mini-games are somewhat enjoyable, they fail to make up for the overall lackluster presentation. In a sea of Disney games, Toy Story Mania! struggles to stand out, earning it a low score.

Score: 3/10
Dr. Mario Online Rx
Dr. Mario Online Rx
Dr. Mario Online Rx, my friend, is a wild ride of pills, viruses, and confusion. Needing a background in astrophysics and molecular biology to play the game is a hilarious addition, but it adds a touch of humor to the game. The repeated and comical reliance on the Operations Manual highlights the game's complexity, but in reality, the game itself is actually quite simple. Wait, How do you play this game again? Let me check the Instruction Manual.

The confusion about placing blocks and navigating menus creates a complex narrative around the gameplay. Dr. Mario Online Rx is an incredibly complex game, and if you can appreciate its subtleties, it offers a good time. Just don't explode like in the dramatic conclusion.

Score: 7.5/10
Rubik's Puzzle World
Rubik's Puzzle World
Rubik's Puzzle World is a mind-bending descent into the depths of puzzling insanity. As you delve deeper into its twisted puzzles, you'll question your sanity, your very existence. The puzzles taunt you, laughing at your feeble attempts to solve them. They mock you, daring you to continue, to unravel their enigmatic secrets.

But beware, for within Rubik's Puzzle World lies a darkness, a malevolent force that seeks to consume your soul. The puzzles themselves are mere vessels for this evil, luring you in with their colorful facade before trapping you in a nightmarish labyrinth of despair.

Yet, amidst the chaos and confusion, there is a strange beauty to be found in Rubik's Puzzle World. A beauty that transcends logic and reason, a beauty that can only be appreciated by those who are truly lost in its madness.

So, if you dare to enter Rubik's Puzzle World, prepare yourself for a journey unlike any other. A journey into the unknown, where the only certainty is uncertainty, and the only way out is through.

Score: ∞/10
Cartoon Network: Battle Crashers
Cartoon Network: Battle Crashers
Cartoon Network: Battle Crashers, a game that disappoints by denying players the satisfaction of wreaking havoc on Steven Universe. Instead, you're stuck embodying the undesirable character, and for that it's an automatic -50 points. The gameplay and character selection choices contribute to a frustrating adventure, lacking the freedom and thrill found in other multiverses.

This game fails to deliver on the promise of confronting and defeating specific characters, leaving players with a sense of unfulfilled potential. Cartoon Network: Battle Crashers struggles where other titles in the genre thrive, resulting in a lackluster journey through the cartoon multiverse.

Score: 3/10
Stumble Guys
Stumble Guys
"I FUCKING LOVE STUMBLE GUYS!!!

context: I'm absolutely hooked on Stumble Guys! It's the kind of game that gets my heart racing and my adrenaline pumping. Whether I'm dodging obstacles or racing to the finish line, I can't get enough of the action-packed gameplay.

I SWEAR I'M NOT GAY. I JUST LOVE THIS GAME.

edit: Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but seriously, Stumble Guys is addictive. The more I play, the more I realize just how much fun it is. So, excuse me while I go back to stumbling my way to victory!"

Score: 9/10
Pizza Delivery Boy
Pizza Delivery Boy
Playing this game makes me want to get cryogenically frozen for the next 1000 years. The frustration it induces is as if I'm trapped in a time capsule of misery.

Pizza Delivery Boy, or perhaps we should call it "Agony on Wheels," is an exercise in masochism. Your character's job is to deliver pizzas to impatient customers, and it's astonishing how a seemingly simple premise can lead to such excruciating gameplay. If only I could find the cryogenic pod that Fry used in Futurama, I'd happily take the plunge.

Navigating the delivery boy through the convoluted streets is akin to attempting to solve a maze blindfolded. You'll spend more time getting lost than actually making deliveries, and you'll inevitably arrive late, greeted by an irate customer. It's like a cruel joke, as if the game developers aimed to see just how frustrated they could make the player.

If the pizza delivery world were as torturous as this game portrays, there would likely be a worldwide ban on pizza. The question arises: who would subject themselves to such digital torment? It's a mystery that may never be solved, akin to a never-ending quest to decipher the secret ingredient in the game's pizza sauce.

While I've never considered cryogenics as a viable option, playing Pizza Delivery Boy has me questioning my life choices. The prospect of freezing myself until a better game emerges seems increasingly appealing. Maybe in a thousand years, they'll have developed games that don't leave players craving frostbite.

Score: 2/10 for Pizza Delivery Boy; 1000/10 for the invention of cryogenics.
Fate/unlimited codes
Fate/unlimited codes
"Fate/unlimited codes" proves to be a disappointing venture into the Fate series, marked by a confusing narrative, lackluster gameplay, and the regrettable demise of a central character.

Right from the start, the game takes a misguided approach to storytelling, employing inappropriate language and juvenile expressions that add nothing of value to the overall experience. To make matters worse, the pivotal moment of Shirou Emiya's death is handled poorly, lacking the emotional impact it deserves. The narrative fails to engage players, leaving them disconnected from the supposed gravity of the events unfolding.

In addition to the narrative missteps, the gameplay mechanics fail to impress. Combat feels clunky and unresponsive, with a lack of depth that leaves players yearning for a more engaging experience. The unfortunate demise of Shirou Emiya, a crucial character in the Fate universe, is a missed opportunity for emotional resonance, as the execution falls flat and fails to evoke the intended emotions.

In conclusion, "Fate/unlimited codes" struggles to deliver a compelling gaming experience. The narrative choices and gameplay mechanics hinder the overall enjoyment, resulting in a game that fails to live up to the potential of its source material. With a mere 2 out of 10, this title stands as a regrettable addition to the Fate series.
Smarty Pants
Smarty Pants
"Welcome to Smarty Pants! Uh-oh, you're in jail! Spin the wheel! Rex in Xenoblade 2 Weezerfan, incredible! Double points dance! Dark Souls difficulty slider perfection, just amazing. That's too hard, that's too easy, Switcharoo, iconic narrator cards. Pelvic thrust dance, justice system. Sublime main theme, Spotify, Amazon Music. Smarty Pants Mascot, lightbulb, bright means smart! Neil Druckmann character design, Typical Colors 2. The double points dance, paradise, TOTALLY NEVER wrist strap, Mario Galaxy, IM LOOKING AT YOU. PERFECTLY syncs, legendary dance, Jesus himself. 2.5x points, ecstasy, EA. Smarty Pants 2 sequel, E3, savior. Welcome to Smarty Pants!"
Rating: 8.8/10 (Because, well, it's quite a unique review!)
Club Penguin: Game Day!
Club Penguin: Game Day!
I stand here, bewildered and questioning the choices that led me to encounter not one, not two, but five games that are somehow worse than this abomination called Club Penguin: Game Day! It's as if the game developers embarked on a journey to craft a digital monstrosity so grotesque that even Satan himself would disown it.

From the moment this wretched title infects your beloved Wii or Wii U console, you'll find yourself contemplating drastic measures. Burying your gaming systems and sending their remains hurtling into the abyss of an asteroid belt might seem like the only recourse to cleanse your digital soul of the horrors within.

The nightmares of this cursed game haunt my every waking moment. I still shudder at the recollection of that abominable snowball minigame, where a skunk carcass served as the main antagonist. It's as if the game designers were in a contest to see who could create the most absurd and nightmarish scenario.

As the madness unfolded, I made it my solemn mission to subject myself to a relentless barrage of bad video games, all in the hope that Club Penguin: Game Day! might ascend from the depths of gaming hell to claim a spot in the "upper 50%" of our list. The very fact that such aspirations exist speaks volumes about the abyss this game has plunged us into.

In the end, this game left me questioning not only my gaming choices but also the very nature of reality. It's akin to the paranoia one feels when inspecting suspiciously shaped Halloween candy wrappers for razor blades, all while unknowingly angering a mafia boss concealed within, a boss who guards his hidden stash of malevolence. Club Penguin: Game Day! is a black hole of gaming, an experience best avoided unless you have a masochistic desire to explore the darkest recesses of digital torment.

Score: 1/10
Monkey Mischief
Monkey Mischief
Monkey Mischief, a game that unfolded in the midst of chaos and controversy, manages to encapsulate both the allure and the pitfalls of experimental gaming. As players delve into this unique experience, they'll find themselves navigating a narrative that weaves together elements of madness, absurdity, and a touch of dark humor.

At its core, Monkey Mischief strives to blend the absurdity of shovelware with an intricate web of characters, events, and conspiracies. The result is a game that can be as bewildering as it is captivating. The Monkey Incident of 2023, a central event within the game's universe, serves as a testament to the creators' ambition to craft an immersive and enigmatic storyline.

The game's portrayal of Racist Duck, a controversial and complex character, stands out as a testament to the developers' willingness to explore dark themes and unconventional narratives. The intertwined conspiracy involving Zooshi Games, Racist Duck, and the nefarious Monkey Mischief: Party Time creates an intriguing backdrop that keeps players engaged, even if they're left scratching their heads at times.

Monkey Mischief's gameplay mechanics, while unconventional, manage to reflect the chaos and unpredictability of its world. The introduction of the "Google bluetooth speaker" as a central gameplay element adds a layer of unique interactivity, as players are exposed to a barrage of eccentric ammunition types, each with its own bizarre effects.

However, the game's ambition can also lead to confusion and frustration. The convoluted storytelling, peppered with references and inside jokes, can alienate players who aren't deeply ingrained in the game's lore. The inclusion of Monkey Mischief: Party Time as a core concept within the game's universe is both a nod to the developers' creativity and a potential point of alienation for those seeking a more straightforward experience.

The visual and auditory design of Monkey Mischief manages to capture the essence of its zany narrative. From the grotesque ammunition types to the absurd scenarios players find themselves in, the game's presentation serves as a testament to the developers' commitment to their vision. However, the chaotic nature of the game's design can sometimes lead to sensory overload, leaving players bewildered rather than enthralled.

In the end, Monkey Mischief's score reflects the undeniable ambition of its creators to craft a truly unique gaming experience. While it falls short in some areas, its willingness to push boundaries and experiment with storytelling mechanics is commendable. Monkey Mischief earns a score of 7/10, an acknowledgment of its potential and the distinctiveness of its narrative, albeit tempered by its occasional lack of clarity and accessibility.
Barbie and Her Sisters: Puppy Rescue
Barbie and Her Sisters: Puppy Rescue
Barbie and Her Sisters: Puppy Rescue, oh boy, where do I even start? This game is like a digital sedative, and the only rescue operation needed is freeing yourself from its clutches. Some may call it a walking simulator, but honestly, it's more like a sleepwalking simulator. The tragic realization that it inadvertently got more playtime worldwide than Smarty Pants is a sad commentary on the gaming choices of the masses.

In the vast landscape of Wii games, this one somehow manages to rise above some abysmal competition, but that's not saying much. It's like being the tallest hobbit—still a hobbit. Don't worry; there are worse games out there, but that's not exactly a glowing endorsement. If you find yourself playing Barbie and Her Sisters: Puppy Rescue, you might want to reevaluate your game collection.

Score: 2/10
Five Nights Among Us
Five Nights Among Us
Five Nights Among Us is a wild mashup that throws you into a nightmare realm where the line between impostors and survival horror blurs. Forget about dreams; this game is a surreal concoction of the Five Nights at Freddy's and Among Us universes. But wait, the impostor isn't always black? Well, it's time to break free from those expectations and embrace the unexpected.

The game weaves a tale of suspense, betrayal, and survival, shaking up the conventions of both franchises. It's a daring experiment that pays off, offering a gripping experience that messes with your head in the best possible way. If you're up for a wild ride through the realms of horror and deception, Five Nights Among Us is the game to play.

Score: 9/10
Mario Kart Wii: CTGP Revolution
Mario Kart Wii: CTGP Revolution
Mario Kart Wii 2 takes the exhilarating kart racing formula of its predecessor and cranks it up a notch, leaving players in awe of the unexpected twists and turns it introduces. The initial skepticism about another installment quickly dissipates as players are met with a surprising array of new tracks. Peach Circuit and Star Road, though not the most anticipated additions, manage to inject a fresh vibe into the Mario Kart experience, proving that innovation can sometimes come from unexpected quarters.

The modding community's audacity to go beyond the ordinary and bring forth tracks like Adv_shovelware_v1 and Jb_Freddy210hell_v12 showcases the creativity and humor that sets this mod apart. The courage to deviate from the expected norms is commendable, adding an element of surprise and unpredictability to the familiar Mario Kart formula. However, the inclusion of tracks that cater to a more niche audience might leave some players yearning for more universally beloved additions.

Mario Kart Wii 2 successfully navigates the tricky terrain of modding by balancing the introduction of novel elements with a nod to the desires of its player base. While it might not be the sequel everyone expected, it manages to carve a unique identity in the vibrant world of Mario Kart mods. Score: 8/10.
Ape Academy 2
Ape Academy 2
The exclamation "MY DECISION IS FIOOOOONNALLLL" seems to encapsulate the essence of Ape Academy 2. This game, like a firm and unwavering declaration, tries to assert its identity within the realm of quirky and unusual mini-game collections. However, whether this final decision leads to pure enjoyment or a head-scratching experience is a matter of perspective.

Ape Academy 2 offers a slew of mini-games that range from bizarre to outright absurd. You'll find yourself engaged in tasks like catapulting monkeys, participating in rhythm-based challenges, and even embarking on peculiar races. It's a carnival of the bizarre, and it's clear that the developers didn't hold back when concocting these peculiar challenges.

The game's aesthetics, characterized by colorful and cartoonish graphics, do add a touch of whimsy. Still, even this visual charm can't quite mask the fact that Ape Academy 2's mini-games often feel disjointed and lack cohesion. It's as if the developers took a bunch of zany ideas and tossed them into a blender to see what came out.

Despite the evident chaos, there's a certain charm to Ape Academy 2's madness. If you're seeking a gaming experience that defies convention and embraces the absurd, this title might be right up your alley. However, for those who prefer their gaming experiences to have a bit more structure and coherence, this may be one final decision that leaves you scratching your head.

Score: 5/10
M&M's Kart Racing
M&M's Kart Racing
This freaking game, man. M&M's Kart Racing is a dumpster fire on wheels, or rather, chocolate candies with wheels. I can't decide if the developers were on an acid trip or just had a thing for unsettling mascots. The only thing sharper than the turns in this game is the desire to put razor blades in those annoying M&M's. And don't get me started on encountering a life-sized Red M&M in a store – that's nightmare fuel right there. I'd rather eat a bag of the real candies than endure another lap in this digital hellscape. A solid 1/10 for the sheer audacity of this fever dream on wheels.
The Hip Hop Dance Experience
The Hip Hop Dance Experience
I was really getting into The Hip Hop Dance Experience, trying to nail some tricky moves on the screen. I was so focused that when I messed up a particularly difficult sequence, I shouted, "fuckerballs!" My 3-year-old, who was watching me play, immediately parroted back, "fuckewbaws." Dumb kid. Now it's been a week, and the little shit keeps repeating it over and over again. Every time I try to play The Hip Hop Dance Experience again, he chimes in with his new favorite word. My wife hasn't figured out what he's saying yet, but if she does, I'm dead—no joke. One time, when we were younger, she almost strangled me to death for splashing her with beer as a joke at her dad's funeral. The bitch is crazy. I need to figure out how to get my kid to stop saying it before she catches on and I get in serious trouble. Any tips?

Still, despite my recent mishap, I'd give The Hip Hop Dance Experience a solid 8 out of 10. It's a fun and engaging game that really gets you moving and challenges you with its dance routines.
New Super Mario Bros. Wii 2: The Next Levels
New Super Mario Bros. Wii 2: The Next Levels
Nintendo's game-making prowess has never been in question, but fan creations can sometimes surprise us. "New Super Mario Bros. Wii 2: The Next Levels" might not be a Nintendo masterpiece, but it's a clear example of how fan-made projects can captivate players with creativity and enthusiasm.

The first thing to note about this fan game is that it's an entirely new adventure created by a talented 12-year-old. You might expect something basic and unpolished, but "The Next Levels" is brimming with clever enemy placements and inventive level designs. It's impressive that a young fan could craft such well-thought-out challenges, even if it doesn't quite reach the level of Nintendo's masterpieces.

The game's difficulty is worth mentioning. "The Next Levels" is not for the faint of heart. It offers a real challenge, and it's clear that the young creator poured their heart into making sure each level feels both strategic and entertaining.

The fact that this fan project caught the attention of the Nintendo ninjas and reportedly led to a collaboration with the young developer for "Super Mario Bros. Wonder" is remarkable. It speaks to the potential of fan creations and the recognition they can receive from industry giants.

There's also an amusing touch of humor in the game's portrayal of characters, including a surprising appearance by Jesus Christ, which is as unexpected as it is entertaining, considering it's a crossover of Mario and Japanese manga. It's an excellent example of the creativity that can emerge from fan projects.

Overall, "New Super Mario Bros. Wii 2: The Next Levels" is an impressive creation by a young fan who showcases significant potential. While it doesn't quite match the quality of official Nintendo games, it's a testament to the power of fan creativity and the surprising places it can take us. I'll give it an 8 out of 10.
King of Clubs
King of Clubs
King of Clubs, oh where do I even begin? A game that seems to have taken a unique approach to design, but unfortunately, ends up feeling like a confusing mess. It's quite evident that there was an attempt to create something different here, but as the saying goes, "too many cooks spoil the broth," or in this case, too much fanbase influence might have led things astray.
The game's mechanics and overall design feel disjointed and lacking a clear direction. It's as if Cheggersfan76 had an outsized influence on the development process. While it's admirable for game studios to engage with their fanbase, it's clear that this title suffered from an overdose of fan-driven ideas.
From the moment you pick up the controller, you're met with a game that seems to be torn between various concepts. The gameplay oscillates between mini-golf, platforming, and puzzling elements, often leaving you wondering what the true focus of the game is. It's a classic example of too many ideas crammed into one package without a clear understanding of how they should all come together.
One can't help but think that if the developers had taken a more cohesive approach and trusted their creative instincts rather than trying to appease every fan's request, King of Clubs might have turned out to be a more enjoyable experience. It's evident that the attempt to incorporate too many suggestions led to a lack of polish and refinement.
The visuals and audio elements of the game further add to the sense of confusion. The art style seems to waver between cartoonish and realistic, contributing to the overall lack of identity. The soundtrack, while not terrible, fails to make a lasting impression and often gets lost amidst the muddled gameplay.
In conclusion, King of Clubs is a prime example of why blindly catering to fan demands can backfire. The game struggles to find its footing, and the result is an experience that feels like a jumbled mess. Cheggersfan76's influence might have inadvertently steered the game off course, and the end product is a game that leaves players scratching their heads rather than feeling entertained. While the effort to engage with the fanbase is commendable, the outcome here serves as a cautionary tale of how too much input can lead to a lackluster final product.
Rating: 3/10
Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back
Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back
Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back is a mind-boggling journey into the abyss of horrible 2D platformers, serving as a painful reminder of why some franchises should stay buried. The inclusion of utterly useless collectibles is a testament to the game's commitment to pure mediocrity. The hope for the Woolies to strike Bubsy down seems like a desperate plea for an end to this onslaught of dogshit games. Bubsy's "humorous" involvement in the tragic event, 9/11, is not only tasteless but adds another layer of absurdity to this already disastrous experience. This game is a mockery of the platformer genre and deserves a generous 2 out of 10 for its unintentional comedic value.
Dragon's Lair
Dragon's Lair
Dragon's Lair, a vintage piece from the crypt of arcade horrors. Imagine the agony of trial and error, akin to trying to comprehend the chaos of a Discord server with too many bots. The game's unique selling point? You get to experience a multitude of spectacular deaths in gorgeous animation. It's like playing a twisted version of "Choose Your Own Death Adventure." The controls are about as reliable as a $5 psychic reading. While some may revel in the nostalgia, it's more of a "look, but don't touch" affair. A generous 4/10 for the pain-soaked journey through Dragon's Lair.
Tekken 2
Tekken 2
Tekken 2: Oh, let me tell you, Tekken 2 is the epitome of perfection. Who cares if the multiplayer didn't work? It's a solo masterpiece! Three-second matches are a blessing, showcasing the efficiency of finding the karate expert and unleashing chaos on your controller. The sheer brilliance of this game, combined with its unparalleled depth, demands an infinite score. Karate propaganda? More like karate paradise! Tekken 2 transcends numerical ratings; it's a divine experience in the realm of DAN.
Opoona
Opoona
Opoona

Score: 10/10
Mr.President!
Mr.President!
Mr. President is a game that mirrors the chaotic nature of real politics, offering players a messy and unforgiving experience where losing may be the best outcome. Much like navigating the political landscape, the game provides little guidance, leaving players to figure things out on their own.

The game's satirical take on politics is sure to appeal to those with a dark sense of humor, particularly those who enjoy poking fun at current events and political figures. With its tongue-in-cheek approach, Mr. President is a game that doesn't take itself too seriously, making it a fun and entertaining experience for players looking for something different.

However, it's worth noting that the game's humor may not be for everyone, and its irreverent tone can be off-putting. Additionally, the game's lack of clear objectives and direction are definitely a downside to the game's chaotic presentation.

Overall, Mr. President is a game that offers a unique and satirical take on politics, with a messy and unpredictable gameplay experience that keeps players on their toes. For those looking for a game that doesn't pull any punches, Mr. President is sure to deliver.

Score: 7/10
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up, or should I say "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Karate Clash," is a catastrophic cacophony of chaos that dares to trample on the delicate sensibilities of fighting game aficionados. This wretched abomination of a title commits the unforgivable sin of introducing Master Splinter, the one character who possesses the hallowed knowledge of karate. Yes, dear reader, you heard that correctly — karate! It's as if the developers never grasped the fundamental tenets of competitive combat within the realms of pixelated pugilism!

In the vast pantheon of fighting games, the cardinal rule dictates that no character should hold an unfair advantage, especially in the realm of martial arts mastery. Yet, in their profound wisdom, the creators of this calamity saw fit to bestow Master Splinter with this unholy power. Did they not comprehend that this sacrilege would render all other fighters mere mortals in the presence of a karate-kicking rodent?

It is a regrettable state of affairs when the most memorable aspect of a fighting game is the blatant disregard for the art of balanced combat. While the heroes in a half-shell may hold a cherished place in our hearts, their venture into the fighting game arena reeks of amateur design and an ignorance of the martial arts metagame.

In my humble estimation, I bestow upon this travesty a resounding 1 out of 10, for it has flouted the very essence of fair competition, leaving only a foul taste of missed potential in its wake.
Chess Ultra
Chess Ultra
What do you mean I can't "croissant" my pawns? Pill Bilbis, the legendary chess grandmaster, would never approve of learning chess only to be subjected to early queen checkmate tactics and unskippable YouTuber clips. We all know it's a horse, but who needs your conventional strategies when there's the magnificent and mythical wheel piece?

In Chess Ultra, prepare for a chess experience like no other. From the moment you enter the game, it's evident that you'll face an array of challenging opponents, each with their unique playing style. Don't expect to just 'croissant' your way to victory; you'll need wit and cunning.

The game's visuals are stunning, offering a refined, almost luxurious experience. It's like playing chess in an art gallery, with beautifully rendered pieces and boards that add a touch of class to the game. You can almost feel Pill Bilbis nodding in approval.

Now, let's talk about the horsey – I mean, the knight piece. If you're new to chess, it might be tempting to nickname it a horsey. However, the game makes it clear that it's not to be taken lightly. In fact, after a few games, you might hear the echoing laughter of Hikaru Nakamura in your head every time you make a suboptimal move with the knight. This game has a way of teaching respect for each piece, even the horsey.

In Chess Ultra, you'll discover that there's a depth to chess that goes beyond early queen checkmates. It encourages you to hone your skills, develop strategies, and appreciate the timeless game. And it's not just about winning; it's about the journey, the challenge, and the satisfaction of a well-played game.

For both newcomers and seasoned chess players, Chess Ultra offers a high-quality chess experience. Although Pill Bilbis may not endorse the game himself, I give Chess Ultra a well-deserved 8 out of 10. After all, it's not about how you croissant your pawns, but how you seize the victory!
Balan Wonderworld
Balan Wonderworld
Balan Wonderworld is a masterpiece that showcases Square Enix's innovative approach to gaming. The game's use of NFTs adds a new layer of depth, allowing players to truly immerse themselves in the world of Wonderworld. The 3D platforming mechanics are flawless, providing a seamless and enjoyable gameplay experience. Yuji Naka's vision is fully realized in this game, and it sets a new standard for what a 3D platformer can achieve. Balan Wonderworld is a must-play for any gamer looking for a truly unique and unforgettable experience.

Score: 10/10
Dance Dance Revolution: Disney Grooves
Dance Dance Revolution: Disney Grooves
Causes 98% of automobile accidents since 2009! Dance Dance Revolution: Disney Grooves takes a wild turn on classic Disney tunes, introducing unexpected twists like car crashes into Elsa's ice fortress. This audacious move might be amusing for those seeking unconventional gameplay, but it's a chaotic departure from the standard DDR experience. And of course, what would any Disney-themed game be without the iconic Mickey Mouse? As Anasui from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure might put it, without Mickey, it's just not Disney. The game brings a level of absurdity that either delights or bewilders players, depending on their appetite for unconventional rhythm games.

Score: 9/10
NBA 2K Playgrounds 2
NBA 2K Playgrounds 2
NBA 2K Playgrounds 2, at Mackolas' request, has been given a lower rating, and it's not hard to see why. This game falls flat, struggling to deliver a smooth and enjoyable experience. The gameplay is marred by various issues, including significant glitches that make it a frustrating endeavor to play. It's like trying to win a race with one leg tied behind your back.

Comparing NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 to Team Fortress 2 is like comparing apples to oranges, or perhaps more fittingly, like comparing a half-deflated basketball to a rocket launcher. The two games are in entirely different leagues, and it's safe to say that NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 doesn't hold a candle to the iconic Team Fortress 2. While opinions on games can vary greatly, it's highly unlikely that anyone, anywhere, would genuinely assert that NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 surpasses the sheer excellence of Team Fortress 2.

In light of these considerations, I'd have to rate NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 a disappointing 3/10. It's a game with potential, but it falls short of delivering the engaging and balanced gameplay that players deserve. If you're looking for a top-tier gaming experience, you'd be better off looking elsewhere.
Touhou Genso Rondo: Bullet Ballet
Touhou Genso Rondo: Bullet Ballet
Touhou Genso Rondo: Bullet Ballet to the Rescue! is a mesmerizing whirlwind of anime girls and bullet hell chaos, where distinguishing the game's visuals, mechanics, and performance becomes a heroic quest amidst the relentless spam. Whether you pick an anime girl to main is a moot point; they all blend into a vibrant barrage of projectiles. Weebs, brace yourselves for an experience that could make even xqc twitch with a hint of envy.

Score: 5/10
Wheel of Fortune
Wheel of Fortune
Wheel of Fortune, the classic word-guessing game, is a staple in many game nights and gatherings. However, my experience with it was... quite unique.

Picture this: a seemingly innocent game of Wheel of Fortune with friends turns into a real-life Death Note scenario. One of the players transforms into Kira, the infamous antagonist from Death Note, right in the midst of the game. While I thought we were all here for some friendly wordplay and puzzle-solving, it turns out that someone was harboring secret ambitions to wield the power of life and death.

This unexpected twist added an entirely new layer to the game. While we were spinning the wheel, revealing letters, and solving puzzles, the underlying tension was palpable. Each move felt like a step towards unraveling the mystery of who among us had taken on the mantle of Kira.

To be honest, this dramatic turn of events made the game both more exciting and more terrifying. The usual joy of shouting out guesses and competing for puzzle solutions was overshadowed by the eerie feeling that we were playing with someone who had become unhinged, just like Kira.

As a result, my experience of Wheel of Fortune was unlike any other. While the game itself remains a classic and the mechanics are as entertaining as ever, the memory of that fateful game night with the "Kira" player lingers in my mind. It's a testament to the power of a game to create unexpected narratives and experiences.

In the end, Wheel of Fortune gets a solid 6 out of 10 from me. The game is undeniably entertaining, but who knew that it could also provide the backdrop for a real-life Death Note scenario? Just remember, next time you gather around the wheel, be prepared for the unexpected – you might just find yourself facing a Kira of your own.
Rabbids Invasion: The Interactive TV Show
Rabbids Invasion: The Interactive TV Show
Rabbids Invasion: The Interactive TV Show seems to be in a league of its own with that delightfully idiotic EHHHYYAAA... Rabbid noise accompanying every click, which might just be its sole redeeming feature. Yet, not even this quirky quirkiness can save it from the depths of gaming oblivion. Remember the days when this was the benchmark for bad games? Ah, the nostalgia. Now, we're spoiled with a whole host of wretched titles, each boasting their own unique brand of horror, from King of Clubs to Garten of banban and beyond. One thing's for sure, none of them can quite match the unforgettable menu sound of EEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.

Score: 2/10
Chicken Blaster
Chicken Blaster
Skibidi dibidi dop

Zooshi Games does it again!

The clock struck noon

I started to blast chickens

Skibidi dibidi dop

Score: 6.5/10
Garbage
Garbage
Garbage is a game that captures the essence of frustration and annoyance with modern online interactions. The game's narrative explores the exasperation of encountering condescending and dismissive comments online, particularly in gaming communities. It delves into the desire for human connection and understanding, contrasting it with the cold efficiency of internet searches.

In Garbage, players navigate through a virtual world where they must confront the absurdity of expecting everyone to "just Google it." The game presents scenarios where seeking help or sharing experiences with fellow humans is met with ridicule and sarcasm, highlighting the disconnect that can occur in online interactions. Despite its seemingly mundane setting, Garbage effectively conveys the emotional toll of feeling isolated and misunderstood in the digital age.

Score: 8/10
Your Time to Shine: Island Existence
Your Time to Shine: Island Existence
"Your Time to Shine: Island Existence is a bizarre and confusing game that seems to draw strange parallels to real-world events. The game's portrayal of a country filled with identical houses and people, invaded by alien creatures, is both absurd and intriguing. The protagonist's role as a super soldier leading a resistance adds a layer of heroism to the narrative. However, the game's narrative is so abstract and disconnected that it's hard to fully grasp its message. Despite its flaws, the game's bizarre nature makes it a memorable experience, albeit for all the wrong reasons."

Score: 5/10

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