Even to this day, Sonic CD stands out from its Genesis companions, but where once that difference came from how elusive it was—only having a few scattered ports and being included in some random collections— and how few actually managed to even play it when compared to the rest, as it became more easily available during the seventh generation, now it’s because the mythos surrounding it seems to be a space more about disputes than agreements, a far cry from the rest of the original series. I’m not saying that there’s a set of absolute truths surrounding the other games, in fact I myself find hard to love Sonic 2 as much as so many, many others do, but there’s a certain consensus regarding all of those 3 games (& Knuckles) that seems to be lacking over at Sega CD Land.

There seem to be as many enjoyers of the game as there are detractors, and this division of opinions is very much visible to outsiders of the series, and that’s exactly why for the longest time I was both very interested… and weary of Sonic CD. Even so many years later, with its past that once was present behind and now facing the futures, the game is still surrounded by a mysterious aura, or at least it was to me: enveloped in uncertainty, a game so seemingly strange and unique, surrounded by positives and negatives from both sides…


… and yet, the one that ended up captivating my heart.

Despite my best wishes and attempts, I found it incredibly hard to actively enjoy both Sonic 1 and 2, I still wouldn’t call them terrible games under no circumstances, but their low points and my gripes seemed to made it game that I consistently liked, with only some net positives being completely clear… With Sonic CD, I’d end quicker by saying what I didn’t like, in fact yeah, let’s get that out of the way!:

Even tho it has some incredibly interesting ideas and the laser mechanic, Metallic Madness is easily the lowest point of the game, it’s where the game gets closer to the lowest point of some of the past games’ zones, and where much of what I liked from the rest of the experience seems to be missing a bit; it also shares the same problem with Sonic 1 on how actually 100 precenting it doesn’t grant much of an active reward aside of getting the true ending (sort of, we’ll get to that) and…. Uh… I guess some acts share similar design and I wished there was more of a difference in some temporal variations?... Yeah I don’t know I got nothing else… and I could have never seen that coming.

My Sonic Genesis experience has been filled with buts and wishes to be able to love it more, but now I arrive at Sonic CD and from start to finish the only thing I could find myself feeling was… joy, the way I could just gleefully smile while traversing Whacky Workbench, being completely fascinated at the sights and sounds in Palmtree Panic, the feeling of peace and realization at getting my first good future in Collision Chaos; from a first glance Sonic CD doesn’t seem that distinct when compared to the likes of 2 — or even 1 for that matter—, but it’s when playing that the differences shine.

Sonic games always incentivized replays and getting to know the pathing and mastery of its controls, but CD rewards knowledge even beyond that: levels feel MASSIVE, so expansive and open ended that no matter the way you go, you’re most likely going the right way, and it always feels like that. Every single zone is always so damn fun to explore, so many interesting to surprises to discover that it never feels as if you are going around circles or that you are somewhere you shouldn’t be and it’s this exploration that gets tested in the Past version of the stages since you’ll need to find Robotnik’s machine somewhere. What awes me the most it’s how, for a game with so many moving parts (both literally and figuratively), it never slows down, it’s here where I’ve reached the highest speeds more-so than in any other game, dodging and dashing, making use both of the spin dash and the super peel out in different scenarios and situations, and even when the game slows you down, it never feels as it stops you in your tracks and actively makes you wait or do precision platforming for which Sonic isn’t designed for (maybe aside of Metallic Madness), Sonic CD knows what it is and what it wants to do, and does so while looking beautiful.

All zones look incredible, they share a borderline abstract look that gets amplified in the future versions, the good going always for a softer more celebratory look while the bad futures create this overtly and violently mechanical feeling, one that can be seeing again in almost all of the Act 3s; it translates the ideas of the Robotnik’s conquest of this small planet to a tea, and seeing the much more natural, organic look of the past versions and seeing far more free animal where once robots stood it’s not only the perfect way to push players to get the good futures without saying any words, it outright looks incredible. The sprites and sights are a marvel to behold, and they really feel like actual, interesting places, places with history that have been subject to change and thanks to you can improve and hold a much brighter future… and I haven’t even talked about the music! I’ve been utterly lovestruck by the original JP/EU soundtrack, no matter what song, so matter what jingle, it never misses, a perfect dance of techno mixed with the most perfect of ideas to evoke feelings on the player, details like how the themes from the past feel a liiiiittle bit more compressed or how the power-up music ends just as the power-up finishes taking effect are so obvious yet wonderful I can’t stop loving them, easily one of my favorite OST I’ve had the pleasure to listen in a long time. Compliments to the original soundtrack used to be accompanied by a jab to the American OST, but honestly… I also like that too! Nost as much as the Japanese and European one, that’s for sure, but the American goes for a much more atmospheric feeling that it’s appropriate and works super well, the fact this game basically created to amazing soundtracks in one is the funniest yet fitting showcase of how this is a experience that goes the extra mile in every conceivable way, even when it’s not necessary…

A complaint that I’ve seen being predicated by some people over on discussions and even video-analysis is how you don’t really need to engage with the time travel in any capacity to beat the game or complete it to get the true ending, and that is true, but now I cannot scratch the felling that, maybe… that was the point. For how much I’ve talked about it, the past and futures of each of the two first acts of every Zone aren’t required in any way, they aren’t mandatory, and you can ignore them if you choose too, but I found it extremely hard to simply because of how compelling they are: getting to a stop sign and managing to find a way to achieve high enough speeds to time travel its fun on its own, but even beyond that, getting to see how a Zone was before Robotnik completely destroyed it, managing to impact it and actively foil its plans to achieve a better future, or to just witness the bad future or jump across space and time is such a creatively strong decision, it incentivizes speed, it incentivizes exploration, it generates wonder, and the fact that all of that it’s options isn’t a reason to complain, but instead to be marveled at the sheer amount of work at display and the open ended nature of Sonic CD, and it works, it works so incredibly well that I played it yet again after beating it just to try out different paths and time travels, something I had never done with a Sonic game so soon, but with this one I just couldn’t resists, helped in great part by the short nature of the game itself.

CD clicks in a way very few games of this series manage to do with me, a game which even its special stages manage to be a fun time worth mentioning (and far more 3D than 3D Blast honestly!); trying different, challenging ideas to a base formula doesn’t always work, but Sonic CD uses them to expand a world and create a beyond unique adventure, one that starts and ends with beautiful animations, and that across its many levels it just kept me wishing for it to keep going a little bit more, not attempt more unique albeit easy boss battles, to see more of Metal and Amy; Sonic CD is more than an experiment, it’s this world and character taken to it’s most open-ended and crazy potential, and seeing be a reality alone it’s worth admiring, but for it to be so good and inspiring while doing it is on a whole other level.

Sonic CD is easy to love for some, but also easy to dislike for others, it’s a strange game with a ton of ideas that don’t click for some, but honestly, I think it’s quite fitting, a game that attempts so many interesting concepts that gambles between a good future and a bad one, and it ended up getting a mix of some considering how people looks at it in so many different ways. And yet, it keeps on going, and I’m happy to say that at least for me, it creates a future worth fighting for.

Also, I know I’ve been complaining about Metal Madness quite a lot, but it’s all forgiven honestly, why you ask? Because it has this! Not other zone has peak character design! Look at it! LOOK AT IT! THE PUREST OF BOIS! LONG MAY LIVE MINI-SONIC!

In the span of 20 days, I’ve killed Dracula like 3 times now, I don’t know why so many games have an obsession with him but I’m starting to pity the poor bastard, like, he only shows up in one puzzle and his purpose is to perish, now that’s a true tragedy…

During its initial release, a portion of the discussion around Storyteller revolved around how it really wasn’t what it seemed at first; from promotional material and even its descriptions, you’d be led to believe this is a game about creating stories, using the characters and options available to form your own visual narrative, an idea that even the game’s own opening text seems to be pointing towards, when in reality this is pretty much a puzzle game. In each of the levels you get a set of characters and scenarios and from there you need to reach a specific result, and for many this prospect was less enticing than that supposed original ‘’go wild and crazy with your imagination’’ idea, but I believe that throwing Storyteller to the side simply because it isn’t something that ‘’sounds cool’’ is silly at best, especially when what it really is still sounds incredibly promising.

Building up a narrative and creating a story to reach a specific ending is a fantastic concept, an idea so fascinating that can lead to so many cool experiments, and gamifying the act of forming a world, giving life to a set of characters with a finale in mind is far from being an idea always bound to backfire, it’s a genius one with a super strong premise… one that Storyteller fails to realize.

Being simple is a good thing, and then there’s being simplistic; each of the puzzles feel… barebones is the word I want to say, but I’m not entirely sure it’s the right one; no challenge is designed badly or unclear, but they also aren’t great. I’ll admit I definitively wasn’t a having a bad with the experience, but I also wasn’t feeling particularly excited or even just really that entertained, it’s a very ‘’going through the motions’’ kind of game, where none of the puzzles are particularly challenging and few have those moments where the pieces fall into place and you feel like a genius. As such it could be seeing as a cozy or pick-up-and-play style of game, but considering just how short it is and how little it attempts in that time to actually make it a super relaxing or enjoyable experience, I find it hard to call it one. You just do puzzles until its over… and without ever fully tapping into true ‘’imagination’’ territory.

It's hard to feel as a storyteller when there’s so little space of possibilities; as I said the fact there’s always one ending for each of the puzzles doesn’t bother me, but that the characters have a set of behaviors that you cannot change and that there’s basically only a single way to achieve said ending does. At first it’s fun to learn how each of the characters behave, but after a while it quickly turns into an automatized experience, where you see your objective and think ‘’oh yeah, I know which character has to do each thing’’ which might sound good, but in practice feels like placing pieces of the same puzzle over and over, sometimes rearranged, sometimes with a different set of pieces. The secondary objectives that some of the levels have as well as the stamps and the Devil re-tales are an interesting spin for sure, and especially towards the end this concept shows its highest potential, but it just not involving nor realized enough to be memorable or that fun.
The game doesn’t tell stories, just broken scenarios, and you aren’t tasked with forging them, just to fix the… I don’t know if that even makes sense, but what I’m getting at is that Storyteller, even at its best, doesn’t seem to strive for much despite shooting pretty damn high, and I’m left with the sensation that many other puzzle game accomplish the idea of creating your own path or solution much more consistently than the game about creating tales.

The game isn’t a incredibly ended open experience with player experience at its focus, nor does it want to be and nor it should be judged as such, but what it is is a overly simple, limited and average puzzle game that’s only somewhat enjoyable. It may not be something that it isn’t, but it also is not even close at being a true accomplishment of what it aspires to be, and that’s much, much more tragic than the former option…

Hey. Szymanski. Now, I know you and Mr. Plier are making the Iron Lung movie. But. And hear me out on this... A Chop Goblins Animated TV Series. Think about it, the kids would love that! You could make toys of each of the goblins and they would fly off the shelves, the comedic and marketing potential of these chopping bastards is limitless! This is where true gold-mine is at! Artistic integrity? That's secondary to funny little gremlins!

Chop Goblins gives off the same feel of a Saturday morning cartoon without having anything to do with one visually nor structurally, but the simple comedic stroke of genius that is the enemies being a bunch of world-ending goobers that only want cheese and the short but fast-paced run-time of the game give the same sensation of sitting in the couch watching a funny cartoon episode.

In the span of one hour you go through a museum, watch the goblins chop cars and buildings, travel through space and time, and also fight Dracula which I don't know why but it seems fitting 'cause sure why not. All the levels are pretty small but very concise and creative spaces that explore different visual styles, being both linear and maze-like at the same time, something I didn't even know was even possible but they pull it off so who am I to complain?

All weapons serve different niches, like the starting pistol being slow as hell but a one shot tool for lesser enemies, and the wand being a ''fuck you'' tool to get out of difficult situations, and then there's the dagger. You can hit axes thrown at you and instakill the enemies with it. The dagger is funny. Everyone loves the dagger and dagger loves us too.

It's not the fastest paced shooter out there by any stretch of the imagination but the lay-out of the rooms and the way each goblin behaves are a puzzle on their own that forces you to think fast and react faster, taking cover and considering what weapon to use or if blowing up the car that's 1 meter away from you is a good decision or not (it usually isn't but I do it anyway), and yeah, it's fun!

Chop Goblins is a short and funny little game and that's pretty much it; after beating it you can try the Goblin difficulty and the Remix levels, but that's pretty much it, and it's fun! I wish there was any way to access the options in the pause menu and that it attempted more interesting set pieces like the ones in the second level, but you know, the game wants to be simple, and I’m not gonna knock that against it, go wild you lovable little bunch of gremlins!

For real tho it’s hilarious this came out just after Iron Lung and was even teased on it, I couldn’t think of games more opposite of each other, and I’m just saying, Iron Lung doesn’t have any goblins, it’s clear who’s the one deserving of an adaptation…

Seeing this game lift so much from Megamix, both visually and even mechanically with things like the Skill Stars and the score bar warms my heart in ways I cannot describe, we Megamix enjoyers are eating, but the Rhythm Heaven fans as a whole are feasting.

I think it says a lot about a series when despite only having four entries, one of which never released outside Japan, manages to produce and share such joy, process a spirit so unique and easy to fall in love with and even when its father company seems to have toss it aside and forgot about it, both creators and fans still keep the dance going. Few games can accomplish the feat that Rhythm Heaven pulled off in each of its entries, entice us to smile, to be weird and fun, to produce animations, tributes and completely original games, the fan-works and fanbase it has cultivated is one of dear appreciation for not only the experiences themselves, but also the act of creating brand new things and enjoying them as a community. Heaven Studio has been around for a while, even if only now it finally got its 1.0 release, and it has exactly that as an objective, to unite a community, both players and creators, celebrate the fun that is in sharing and appreciating other people’s work, a perfect way to keep the paradise alive.

It’s also the most impressive fan-work I’ve ever come across in my entire life.

Heaven Studio opens such spaces of possibilities that boggle the mind so much it’s kinda hard to belive this is real at first, 50 minigames from the original series completely recreated in glorious HD art, keeping that bubbly style that Megamix introduced and making it even more pretty and charming, and if that wasn’t enough, it has 2 brand new original games that are so good at first I thought the were some kind of sub-games from Fever I didn’t check out, and make me even more excited to see what people will come up with in future releases for future remixes, ‘cause here’s the thing: there’s no real way to play the original games stand-alone. Heaven Studio is not a fan-game that just so happens to have a level editor; its whole status as a game depends on the output of fans, and the tools at disposal are anything but lacking.

Look, I’m not able to even begin to understand how anything about its editor works, this is no Mario Maker level creator, nor it needs to be. It’s complex and deep, it has all the tools needed to craft remixes, both classic, inspired by other songs, or just takes in one specific game, the end-result will go as far as your imagination and effort allows, and more games will be added as time passes to broaden the horizons even more. So many ways to experiment in such a fitting and beautiful presentation; as I said I probably will not be able to do much myself with it unless I really get into it, but luckily for us filthy non-remix creators peasants, the game has some remixes that come with the package, alongside those aforementioned two new minigames, and if some say that first impressions are all, then Heaven Studio really took it to heart

Each of the of the remixes that come with the download feel so different from one another, embodying different spirits of what’s to be done with this tool, different visual and sound styles that each feel surreal, I was laughing my ass off while playing the Code Remix not only because I was unable to believe this was real, but also because it was so damn fun, so incredibly polished and so astonishing. This really reminds me of the fan Guitar Hero and Trombone Champ songs using original music or from other games, except taken to the next level, to one of contagious happiness and sheer creativeness, one seen in even other fan remixes beyond the first ones. Over on the game’s Discord server you can see hundreds of persons haring their work, and of course not all are absolute bangers, some are more experimental and not that well charted compared to others, but all feel special, all feel full of heart, and the ones that hit, REALLY hit. I don’t even know how to begin explaining to you that one of the best and most amazing remixes I’ve ever played is one about the Story of Undertale song without seeming like a madman, but it’s the truth, and I have to speak it, it’s utterly insane, but that hasn’t stop me from loving something Rhythm Heaven before.

So many fascinating remixes, visually impressive and subversive, a community effort that’s already out of this world but that still has so much yet to offer that I can only describe as… a superb.

To celebrate the game’s release, the original developers created the Lush Remix, a remix that uses all 52 included games; this is no mere ‘’we got the game celebration’’, not just only a tribute to all the final remixes in the games of the series, is a gift, a gift that marks an end and a beginning, there’s so much yet to be seen and enjoyed, there will be meme songs along the way, maybe original ones, and a ton of Undertale/Deltarune inspired remixes (believe me, there are a ton already and it’s scary how good most are), but even right now, just one day after the game released, and after many, MANY GitHub beta releases, this is the most beautiful community effort I’ve seen, and one I can only hope it will have so much yet to give, I cannot exhaust the words to praise everyone that has worked or is contributing on Heaven Studio, this is beyond impressive.

If you aren’t familiar with the series but like this idea, hold on playing it, not only because most of its remixes are hard as balls and as a whole is really defendant on you having knowledge of the way the rhythm in these games works, but also because this is so much more worth to play when the time is right, a way to cap-off the Rhythm Heaven adventures, but also for them to keep going in brand new ways…

Also forget about Rhythm Hell, the true underworld is The Miner Grind like that remix is the cruelest thing I’ve ever bop my head to. I don’t know who is responsible for that one but hey, my outmost respects to you, you crazy bastard…

Once again keeping the ‘’trying to get everything in a Metroid game but then leaving two or three missile tanks behind because I can’t be bothered’’ tradition going, even in a game so different such as Metroid II, it’s heartwarming to see that some things never change, like extremely hidden collectables!

The original Metroid is, even to this day, a pretty big deal, not only because it spawned a series that in spite of admittedly quite noticeable lows —looking at the general direction of a certain Wii game whose name shall not accurse this review— has given some of the most beloved and impactful games of… well, of the entire history of the medium, but it also catapulted its entire world design style to genre-defining status, so much so that half of its name its derived from this series. Metroid may not have been the first one to pull it off, not by a long-shot, but it was the first game to pull off the ‘’Platform-Adventure’’ idea in such a well-designed, fun, and awe-inspiring way; Metroid crafted an entire world in a console that could barely run bigger than normal sprites, let alone to allow the luxury of having backgrounds, and year the planet of Zebes and its pirate infested caverns, even on its first iteration, feel alive, distinct and brimming with secrets and upgrades, by all accounts it’s a marvel, both technically and progression wise.

Metroid 2: Return of Samus not only had to follow up in what the original had done, but also do it in a console with even weaker overall hardware with a screen that couldn’t allow more than a few shades of green, and it what other conditions could this team produce anything but such a incredibly interesting and, in a ton of ways, unique game.

Metroid 2’s own nature revolves around the system is on, yes, but at the same time I think its fitting that such a different adventure is presented in such a different way; whereas Zebes felt mechanized, deeply corrupted by the pirate influence, each room calculated in such a binary way for the sake of stopping intruders and with the last bastions of nature being few and far between, the caves and passages of SR388 feel the complete opposite; no empire nor company has set afoot in these lands for a very long time, this is a land only taken by wildlife and nature, and even in a black and white world, it feels exactly like that. Not every single being in this game is out to kill you, in fact most enemies don’t have direct attacks, with the more aggressive fiends (aside of the Metroids) being the old abandoned machines, which I don’t know if there was any intent behind that, but it seems like a genius purposeful move. The landscapes of SR388 feel wild, untamed, each not existing not as an alien-made space, but as a true bastion of wildlife; rock passage-ways that reach the depths of the planter inhabited by fish that walk on land and strange mole creatures, acid lakes that get emptied by the quakes of a furious Metroid Queen after the killing of their spawns, strange bubble towers that fill the rooms and the most forgotten mast of the planet, and ancient abandoned structures overrun by what the Chozo left behind and animals seeking shelter; this is all on a fucking Game Boy ant it feels natural, it feels like a real world that was left behind, one that doesn’t follow the conventions of the pirate bases of old.

There are still some missile doors here and there, but most of the obstacles you face are not left on purpose, they are a byproduct of the decay in structure and bloom in life that the planet has seen, and so doors stop being that common of a way to stop your progress and turn into a signal of were a new upgrade is located, and now the powerups you’ll use the most to proceed will be things like the morph ball jump, the spiderball and the super jump. But even with these systems still at play, I’d be hard-pressed to call this a ‘’Metroidvania’’, Return of Samus reminds me much more of a divided by areas open world, since your advancement is only delimited by if you have killed the current set of Metroid or not, a change that serves a design and even narrative purpose; Samus’ objective isn’t to stop a big final menace, she’s here to exterminate every single one of the remaining bio-weapons that put the galaxy at jeopardy in the first game, and there’s a long list to go through.

Samus starts the game much more armed than in the first iteration, with the morph ball already on toe and with some missiles right out the gate, and the game overall seems to be far more centered on combat than it ever was; every single ability, even the previously mentioned ones, serve a ton in the fighting and evading process, even the beams are now just a change a change of weapon rather than actual tools, and with the game’s field of vision being much more closer to the character and the sprites being far more detailed than ever, there’s clearly a deliberate attempt to encourage fighting even when there’s no real moment in which you are trapped with a enemy; with every Metroid, even the final boss, there’s always the option to run, which not only helps if you ever get overwhelmed (which is pretty easy considering how aggressive your main enemies are), there’s always the opportunity to retreat and revaluate your options; you are fighting against terrible weapons after all… even tho now they feel more than that.

The Metroid go for just really scary bio-arms to actually terrifying animals, we get to see their evolution, their grow process, how they change and adapt, evolving from their known forms and reaching the enormous sizes of the Omega variant. They are threatening beings, not only because they can only be damaged by your most powerful tools, but also because the way they presented; the little animation that plays on some of them as you witness their evolution, the music changing to their theme as they charge against you, how memorable some of them, like your first encounter with an Alpha Metroid or battling a Gamma Metroid in a sand tunnel. This encounters don’t feel epic or grand, they are grounded and tense, this is not a space epic anymore, it’s a hunt that only ends after your list marks the number 0 and the Metroid Queen falls, and only then, after the adventure is over, no countdown for the explosion starts, it’s just a last stroll, accompanied by the baby, and you cannot get the thought out of you head that maybe what you were hunting were actual animals and no simple killing machines, you didn’t really save the galaxy, you just turned a massacre into routine.

Metroid 2 is unlike any other Metroid game, and not only because of the way it plays or its presented, but also because of how it incredibly handles its world, how it’s done in such a perfect way that traversing it stops being an act of adventuring and more of a slow voyage and contemplation, which is something I can’t say expected to feel about Metroid but on Game Boy. However, this attempt at bringing what can be done on this console to new heights and shattering its own conventions comes at pretty clear prices; even if I can’t stop gushing about how the planet is designed, the way SR388 is designed clearly suffers from WhereTheFuckDoIGo-itis, not only you don’t have a map, the new paths that open are all over the place and aren’t clear at all at first, meaning that unless you really know where to go, prepare to go around in circles for a while until you find something you believe wasn’t there in the first place, which it isn’t helped about the small little problem that is copy-pasted rooms: this was excusable in the original, but in a game with no color and filled with the same rocks and pebbles it turns into a huge problem for finding out where you exactly are.

The save points are also a huge hiccup; if you are going to do a game with few places to save, fine, but one thing is to that and other to make them feel like they are placed unevenly, with huge chucks without any place to save and others with two extremely close to each other, and on that note, while the health and missile refills are incredible additions, I wished they were more common, there are far less infinite enemy respawning tubes this time around so I wish a way to gain health back was given after every major encounter or at least most of them.

The Metroid battle themselves are extremely simple yet overbearing in the worst way and I think there’s an overabundance of Alpha and Gamma variants which get old real quick, the beams are handled in a way that even if it’s the best thing they could have done I just wish they where done differently and didn’t act as direct replacements of each other, the music for the most part isn’t that memorable (even if the Queen Metroid theme and Surface of SR388 are incredible), going back to some places only to return to you where before can be brutal… It has its moments and upgrading and certain battles was still enjoyable, but Metroid II is a case of a game I love everything about except for actually playing it, but when some of its problems come because of its own conditions and even the positives, I cannot be mad for too long.

Metroid II was the return of Samus in a brand new way, a return that allowed for experimentation, that brought back a spirit of wonder and ingenious I didn’t think possible considering the circumstances; I could say many more things about Metroid II that irk me the wrong way, but I don’t think it’s fair to focus on that when it managed to do something so impossibly difficult. This isn’t my favorite Game Boy game, not by a long shot, but it’s the most fascinating and daring, and if that itself doesn’t have value, I don’t know what does.

The perfect simulator of what it’s like to have a pet: they are either asleep or awake, and if it’s the latter you must feed them at every moment and what they ask or prepare to feel their wrath. Not even the likes of Nintendogs dared to replicate the experience so closely.

Back during the first years of the 2010’s, I was really into mobile gaming, like, REALLY into it. Name any game you can think that was big on mobile and tablets during those years and I most likely played it, and hell, I played some stuff I’m not even sure what it was! Plants vs Zombies, Pou, Jetpack Joyride, Zombie Tsunami, Candy Crush, Subway Surfers, Clash of Clans, Carnivores Dinosaur Hunter HD; these are only a couple that quickly come to mind in a sea of games and memories, and believe me, there was a ton of crap in that accursed sea, but I did have my fun with a couple of them and there are even some I still consider to be really well made experiences for what they are. However, it’s a market that was destined to sour on me; to tell the story of how the mobile gaming scene evolved would take at least another 4 paragraphs, so to make it short and personal, my enjoyment of the more short and sporadic gameplay sessions diminished as most games gravitated towards the ‘’free-to-play’’ yet aggressively monetized sphere; I just do not enjoy experiences that require either small burst of monetary investment or that ask patience over small but daily sessions across months or even years, which, come to think of it, may explain also my immediate aversion to life-service games and gachas when those began to gain popularity and a spot on the scene over the recent years.

So yeah, safe from a few tries to Clash Royale back when it released and of course the massive explosion that was Pokémon Go, I never really dabbled into anything smartphone related since, and it probably it would have stayed like that if it weren’t because of my stubbornness; it has been a long ass time since 2016, even if my brain cannot process it yet, and with that passage of time things change, and even if the ‘’free-to-play’’ model is the one to go for many releases to this day, things have change over on the App Store: quite interesting and surprisingly functional ports, really interesting experiences designed for the touch-screen, even companies creating subscriptions that include many more in-depth experiences that don’t require micro-transactions. I’ve been well aware of those changes, and I’ve seen multiple games that actually interest me, but I was still… reluctant to return to that space, to say the list. But wouldn’t you know, one of the companies that does have a compendium of games on the Play Store is Netflix!: I have a Netflix subscription, I have a phone, and after looking at the surprisingly meaty and interesting selection of games, I made my decision…

‘’Fuck it we ball.’’

It’s still pretty surprising that I decided to start with Poinpy tho, it comes from Downwell’s developer, which I do not think is a bad game or anything, but it never clicked with me, I tried it like… three or four times doing multiple runs on each, but it never ended up grabbing me, and this one looked extremely similar to that game’s idea except… you go up instead, I guess. Plus, as I said, Netflix’s catalogue is surprisingly more interesting than I ever expected, so it’s not like I had a shortage of options or anything… I simply saw the game, saw it was a mbile exclusive which seemed like a good way to start my return, it looked pretty nice and so, I gave it a try.

And another one.

And then another one.

And after that yet another one.

And then I kept playing. And playing.

And then I did the puzzles.

And here I am now, 7 hours later. I beat it.

And I couldn’t be happier with my pick.


Poinpy is one of those experiences that is completely designed for mobile, not only because it controls wonderfully with the touch screen, but also because everything about works perfectly both as an experience to put hours on end or to pick up from time to time, and not only that, it’s not that it’s good, it’s good. Of course my goblin brain wouldn’t stop thinking about and so I played it pretty much non-stop, but I can easily see this as a game that many could enjoy by playing a round or two a day. It’s tailor-made for what it’s in, but so are practically all the major phone-releases, that’s not what makes Poinpy special, what makes it so it that it breaks from so many other conventions.

There’s a very clear objective: reach the top, traverse the levels, feed the beast, don’t perish while you do it. Your final goal is always in sight, but it’s not achievable at first; your progress is marked by how well you do it in each of the runs, hoy many exp you can get so you can gain levels and upgrades, maybe collecting golden seeds and getting perks that help you greatly in future runs. Your evolution is steady and immediate, you must earn it, but its always visible, and that’s what kept me coming back, the idea of getting better at the stuff I was doing, both intrinsically and extrinsically, getting even more upgrades and crushing it even more at the next feeding session… well, that and the fact the gameplay fucking rules.

Poinpy doesn’t play with momentary gratification, this isn’t a game about bursts of moments that make you go ‘’Oh I’m doing great!’’, instead, All of it is cathartic; your ascensions are a constant fight for not touching the floor before you have to, you have to think every move quickly, trying to bounce at every wall, at every enemy, every vessel possible just to scratch that extra jump, to get an ever greater combo or to meat the baseline requirement for the juice, it feels incredible, exciting, every fail makes your heart drop and every success is a another reason to not let your guard down and keep going, especially when they begin introducing the fruits that you cannot pick up and break your combo if you do. The bounce, the new mechanics introduced at every new level, like the bubbles for the ice peaks or the cannons for the steam-punk temple; hell, even the sound is amazing, Poinpy is satisfaction at its purest level not because the game is constantly telling you to feel good or because of high-scores, but because you feel it when you are doing good, and it’s just so damn fun, even the optional puzzles that reward you with more golden seeds are a blast to crack open and resolve.

It’s also a super lovely looking game, Poinpy and everything in its world is just so friend shaped, especially the terrible beast, and the colorful scenery and the super fitting music create what I can only describe as eye candy, but a healthy candy, one low on sugar but that still feels super sweet.

I’ts all not perfect in paradise; there’s a level of RNG that I don’t think I enjoy, and if you get really unlucky with fruit or enemy placement you could see your run die in a moments notice; I myself managed to recover from many of these, but they don’t feel designed to generate difficulty, it just feels like I got a bad seed and I got punished for it, which is a shame when everything else is so calculated and works so well.

Poinpy is incredible, it’s fun, it’s colorful, it has ending that’s as mind-melting as it is adorable and sweet, and it has quite the stuff to do, so much so I’ll probably be coming back in the future… tho probably I’ll return just to have fun too.

I’m shocked, I’m happy and overjoyed, this is easily the most fun I’ve had with a mobile game in…. forever, honestly. There’s much phone gaming to be done, I have some ports I really want to check out, but for now, I couldn’t have asked for a better reintroduction.

I love these goobers and the funny thinking emoji pose they make when sitting or dying, now that’s comedy!

EDIT: I originally didn't talk about the Endless Mode in depth since I didn't try it and didn't expect it to be worth mentioning, but after caving in and giving it a shot I ADORE how it's designed, putting you back at the point you started jump-count wise and the only way to get back those orb jumps is to sacrifice valued spaces for perks; an incredibly balanced mode, super smartly designed and an amazing reward for beating the game and an excuse to get even more medals. This game is a gift that wants to keep giving, and I love it.

There’s a boldness in trying to stand toe to toe alongside the giants; Portal Revolution caught my attention the very moment I saw its trailer last year, and since then I’ve had my eye on it till the day on its release, and I got it easy, think about the people that were there from the beginning! Revolution has been in development for 8 years, a crazy amount of time for any game, let alone one made by fans a s a way to celebrate the series, tho in this case it makes sense when you really think about its intentions.

The most known and popular Portal and Portal 2 mods are all test chamber centered, by that I mean they don’t really venture in the aspects of the series aside of expanding on the puzzles; this is nor a jab nor a complaint in the slightest, in fact some innovate with the original concept in genius ways, and plus, it’s completely expected for them to shy away from the narrative department except for maybe a nod or two, because creating a new story in your fun little mod would be inserting yourself within Portal’s narrative, something not many would even consider as a possibility to do, because, how could they even attempt it?

The thing about Portal Revolution is that it does, it does not want to limit itself to just be a succession of puzzles one after the other, it wants to go further beyond that, it was to surprise you with its presentation and sequences beyond normal gameplay, it wants to have its own voice, one that can fit right with other two. And, listen, I’m not trying to imply or make a statement about how both of the Portal games’ narratives are unparalleled or a master class is videogame narrative —even if few games can say they have the ‘’part where he kills you’’—, they really aren’t the most impactful narratives in all of gaming, but what they are is both well executed and managing to feel important, especially in the first one, where the story melds perfectly with the gameplay, rather than being at the service of it and just an excuse for why are you shooting portals and going though puzzles. Portal is not simply a great series, it’s an excellent duology whose story is pretty much told and its gameplay basically perfected, and trying to add onto that is a herculean task that I don’t blame Valve for not wanting to take.

But Revolution doesn’t even come from Valve, it’s from a group of fans that really love the series and wanted to face all of this dilemmas, which is an even more scary prospect at that, because ironically enough, those that unabashedly love a certain work are the most prompt to make mistakes that those that recognize its successes as well as the flaws, and it’s through that mixture of both undying love for the originals and fear at failing to be lesser than them… that you get Revolution’s story line.

Stop me if you heard this before: a story about a woman is woken up by an orb-shaped hysteric robot in a room part of a giant infrastructure that is decaying and falling down with the promise of getting out if you help him, only for halfway through the adventure getting thrown into depths of the oldest parts of the facility traversing through its older and abandoned test chambers seeking to reach the top and becoming allies with another robot whose conscience was once part of a human, and reaching the original facility that’s now at the risk of collapsing because of the true intentions of the first robot you met and you and your new companion have to stop him to save the entire building and yourselves… also one of them may or may not have a British accent. First of all, wow, I’m surprised you didn’t stopped me, you sure you have played the original series before? And secondly… yeah, the game practically follows beat by beat Portal 2’s narrative, specially half-way through. It’s a real shame that hits doubly hard because even when these similarities where present from the very start, at first they felt more like interesting and even warranted parallelisms than anything else; there were a set of key differences that kept thing pretty exciting and that made this felt like a worthwhile pre-quel, one that isn’t necessary to get the story at full, but one that makes sense withing this world and this narrative, but then you encounter your first ‘’broken bridge’’, and you realize that this games that follows its inspiration even more than it seemed. Listen, I really like Portal 2… but not as much as the original Portal, not by a long shot; and it isn’t because it has a more expansive narrative, but because, unlike I said about its predecessor, it doesn’t feel like the story and gameplay work together, but instead that the story is constantly trying to find weird ways to throw you into puzzles; either by GlaDOS putting you through them because reasons I guess, Wheatley doing the same because… reasons, I guess, and then there’s Old Aperture, or as I like to call it, ‘’J.K. Simmons’ nonsensical puzzle hell’’. These moments aren’t enough to poison me in the slightest, but they represent a intrinsically problem with Portal 2’s design and how it messes with its own pace… and then Portal Revolution looks at it and says ‘’Wouldn’t be cool if I also did it? Yeah, it’d be pretty cool…’’

Roadblocks that just sorta… happen, diversions that don’t make any sense (fun fact, a chapter is fact named around said diversion!), and we even get to return to old Aperture for a much more random and nonsensical reason than ever before! It’s a moment that just happens because I guess it was cool in Portal 2 and hey, we gotta make you meet this important character and have two extra chapters before the finale somehow! At some point it just starts going through the motions and never stops from there, and I have to say, it certainly managed to remind me of Portal 2, but I’m not sure if it was for the reasons the team wanted. No joke, at some point a character just throws you into a chamber and says ‘’Well, you have to do this puzzle, why you ask?... Idk LMAO’’ and at first was pretty cute, but that moment definitively soured when the game said the same thing like another 5 times.

The roots of this insecurity also reach the dialogue a bit; I want go on a tangent for a second and praise the amazing work both VA’s put into their role and the effort behind the screenplay, everyone on board clearly wanted to make this as close to a official Portal experience it could get, and the professionality of both voice actors on their roles fits what you would say in an official game to a tea, and dialogue for the most part feels genuine and got a few smiles out of me!... However, there are still some weird oddities here and there; things like names like Black Mesa or Borealis thrown around just for fans to catch the reference instead to doing a meaningful connection or joke like in the originals, but worst of all is what they did to poor Stirling. I really liked the guy at first! Loved his introduction as a kind of more upbeat amicable GLaDOS that serves the same purpose as Wheatley, and I really enjoyed his attempts at comedy and impressions, but after a while, all of his character is… gone, and by the end of the game we are left with what I could only described as a ‘’Poor-man’s Wheatley’’. Also it has certain lines like ‘’It’s time we bring her back, isn’t it?’’ that made me roll my eyes so hard they went numb, I don’t know how else to describe it except by saying that. The second character is actually super cool tho! Don’t want to get much into spoiler territory concerning them since it’s introduced late into the adventure, but it’s super unique personality wise with what we’ve come to expect in this series but it fits naturally into the series mythos like a glove, I don’t mean it as a joke when I say I wished they were official and got even more screen time.

There seems to be this idea of ‘’If you want to make it again, you have to make it grander’’ that Portal 2 subconsciously introduced and that Revolution just decides to go on with for despite its own detriment: it never reaches the genius simplicity of the original, but also never manages the same level of wonder and surprise of Portal 2 setting wise, it’s stuck in this middle-valley, sandwiched between a monument of a game and another monument of a game, seemingly having nothing to compete with neither or lacking anything new to offer…seemingly.

Stefan Heinz, main developer behind Portal: Revolution, has stated that Portal: Revolution’s puzzle difficulty starts where Portal 2 stops, something that can be read on the game’s own Steam page, and while there’s truth in those words, when reading it you may arrive to the conclusion that it picks up from where it let off and completely expects you to have played the previous games, and even tho of course the fact that you’d play the original duology is the more sensical thing, Revolution acts as if it were a completely independent entry, and it does it with a mastery that simply awed me, and it never stopped from there. It slowly teaches you the basics little by little, and from there its uses them to unimaginable potentials; I never thought so much could be done being able to only shoot one portal, but Revolution shatters that conception and goes completely wild with it. I had so much fun in this chambers, so much joy experimenting until finally finding the insane solution, thinking outside the box in ways I could only expect from the original series and going even beyond that, using the ‘’going out of bounds’’ idea and never looking back, taking everything that was established and reaching new heights, presenting old concepts in a new life, and even introducing its own ideas like with the laser cubes, but it never gets stale, every idea and set of puzzles is used until it can’t give anything more, at which point it jumps onto next. I find the words to describe how amazingly these are designed complicated, not all are bangers, but most are, and it’s not just because they tried to make harder puzzles, it’s because they made puzzle that feel novel and creative. Also resolving them while the original compositions sound in the background is incredible, I linked one before and I really mean it, the new songs are all amazing.

But Portal Revolution is not just a collection of test chambers, it tries to be more than that, capping things off with a final boss fight, once that forces to repeat segments, that doesn’t pose much of a spectacle, and that feels derivative story-wise… honestly it’s sad to see how it perfectly fits the rest of the game’s story…Revolution wanted to be a lot, and calling it a failure is both a lie and a disservice, the fact this is even real is worth of praise, and the moments where it shines and where it’s puzzles really hit, it achieves peaks that face the originals, and I’d say in some cases even surpasses them, and that alone makes it worth a recommendation! If only it was more consistent in that regard, instead, I leave wishing it wasn’t so scared, that it didn’t love Portal 2 so much, that it kept innovating, that it yearned to be even more unique, because at the end, that’s the true spirit of Portal.

Also, the finale is really weird, aside of the kind of jarring final boss, it doesn’t feel like there’s a proper ending it just sorta—

Years of playing Simon in Smash Ultimate and defeating that game’s Dracula have led to this… to my ass-beating being even more shameful.

Castlevania is the type of work I both dread and utterly love to talk about: it’s a game that has been around even before I was even a thought, the type of game that has been spoken and discussed about to no end and one that I myself I’m at risk of misunderstanding or simply not being able to add more from what many others have said, but it’s because of those same reasons that I yearned to finally embark on it. It has built up such a legacy that I’m kinda surprised I didn’t make the slightest effort to at least try, like I did for other series like good ol’ Mario or Doom, it’s the 8-bit monster killing adventure, but defining it like that, while accurate at the most literal sense, would make me fall into that lack of understanding that I wanted to avoid so badly.

There’s this change of outlook that I always inadvertently take when analyzing older media, which it isn’t a bad thing, I always attempt to view things considering the broader scene at the time, and many go even beyond trying to view the historical context behind certain videogames, something that is simply amazing and leads to some fantastic reads on works that at face value don’t seem to have much depth, but this change of mind also comes with a more uglier side, the act of trying to reduce an aspect of a game to ‘’oh yeah, that was the jank of the time’’. Things like ‘’This game has this terrible stage, but it’s from the NES, so obviously it has aged poorly!’’ or ‘’Of course there’s a shit ton of enemies in this area, it’s an arcade game, they had to find a way to suck the quarters out of you!’’ are trails of thought that while are not misguided and they have chunks of truth (I’m not trying to imply that some Arcade games’ sections are NOT designed to be coin-eaters, some certainly are), some people see them as unequivocal facts that apply to ALL games equally or as completely valid indicators when thinking about a game… by some people I mean me. I like to think I push aside those generalisms when talking more in depth about games, but I’d lie if I said that they didn’t cross my mind as an immediate justification to myself for why I was getting frustrated or I couldn’t get past a certain level, and it’s when those thoughts cross my mind the I stop seeing the game as a work of art to be understood and analyzed, and more as a inconvenience to put up with and get over with, basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m a bit of a goofus, shocker I know.

Castlevania should be yet another victim to this, I should see its forever spawning enemies, their extremely cruel placements, its tough as nails platforming and its both battles as nothing more as things that just aged badly, as a consequence of it being a NES game from the 80’s… and yet, I can’t see everything about it, including its quirks, as anything except as clear marks of identity that separate it beyond other members of its ilk, especially as I’m writing this.

The castle of Dracula that gives name to game is one of the most identifiable and incredible sets I had the chance to traverse through in the entirety of the 8-Bit console catalogue; you are not simply thrown into levels with a strong thematic, even if that alone would be pretty cool considering gothic motifs, but you are actually going through the Castlevania, going past the entrance into the maws of the castle, exploring the catacombs and dashing through the roof-tops, even getting to traverse the gears and machinery that give power to the clock tower. Each set of three stages has a strong sense of purpose, playing a clear part in this impossible building that cannot be, certain enemies guarding certain areas, and with always a unique boss capping off each of the sections, something that only gets re-affirmed with every set of stages beaten and a chance to look at the map once again, to see your progress reflected and your new objective mark. You are in constant movement, constantly going forward, and constantly being mesmerized by the new sights.

For a game that tries so hard to be creepy and drab looking, it’s utterly beautiful, the sprite-work is captivating like few I’ve seeing, nothing lacks that grimmey details, but at the same time everything is instantly recognizable, both enemies and backdrops; the colors paint a beautiful picture of a dreadful world lighted by the pale moonlight, darkness still takes a hold of every corner, but Simon always oozes light, and the reds and blues of the enemies turn this into even more of a colorful festival while still being quiet like the night… quick reminder that this is all happening on a NES. It’s a striking world to whip through, and doing that while monsters surround you, bosses overwhelm you, and death is around every corner and specifically in one room, the music accompanies you with every step taken, with ladder climbed, with each obstacle overcome and god. DAMN. Castlevania’s OST could have been normal spooky-ass music and I doubt many would have complaint, but instead it has to open with ‘’Vampire Killer’’ and it just keeps getting grander and grander, reflecting your never ending progress to Dracula while being absolute BANGERS, this castle may be going down, but it’s doing it with style.

Even tho the enemy variety is not that big, it certainly feels like it: enemies and divided into clear and specific areas, with the Fishmen being more common in the basement of the castle and the armored Knights guarding the areas closest to their lord, and even with the enemies that are common across the board, like the skeletons or the Medusa heads, they never become visually tiring or get too old, they are used the right amount of times... and almost always in cruel ways. Dracula is a bit of sick bastard with its minion placement, and hey I get it, if I revived after 100 years and saw the descendant of the guy that killed me came to invade my home I’d be pretty pissed too, can’t blame the guy that much honestly. But even still… endless armies Medusa heads constantly going to attack you, flea-men attacking you in impossible patterns and being dropped onto you and giant bats appearing just when you are jumping before you are even able to see them and throwing you down to your death it’s uh… a bit of a dick move honestly.

Castlevania doesn’t seem to show compassion at any points, some stages and levels may be easier than others, but it’s never simple, and when it gets cruel as all hell, it gets fucking cruel as hell. There are moments that drove to the verge of madness, parts that made me wish that I didn’t bother to pick up the controller, and my mind wanted to whisper that same thoughts whose arrival seemed inevitable… and yet, even at the darkest of times, I kept being… enthralled by it. The moments that I once saw as unfair, like the barrage of fleas being dropped on you, took a whole new perspective once I realize they fell jut far away enough so I could hit them with my whip; the horrible patterns of the medusa heads that seemed endless and unpredictable and made me fall a thousand times became more readable, more fun to avoid than to kill, turning into a monster dance of sorts (HAH! GET IT? DO YOU GE-) ; bosses that I simply didn’t know how to fight against became clear as water when I used the right extra weapons and tools. It never became easier, in fact it only got more maddening difficult as it went along, but it all had a point, a rhyme and reason to be the way it was, there was a purpose and a clear intention even in the most of frustrating moments, and in a way that captivated me, compelled me to move forward and get the vampire killing done, to see Simon keep. Moving. Forward.

And talking about the man itself, he couldn’t be more prepared for the task and less capable of it at the same time if he wanted. Simon is extremely prone to falls and takes its sweet time to throw that whip forward, he really can’t be trusted to immediately react to a threat, but he certainly can be when it comes to analyze and anticipate one; he’s surprisingly momentum based, and while jumping you either move or you don’t, you have to commit to one of the two, and it’s that necessity to commitment, that heaviness and that feeling of strength that sells you fully the idea what kind of game this is: one where you do. Or you don’t. Simon can either be the most thrown around guy in all of the castle or an absolute unstoppable machine, but it always feels amazing to control and feels fair to play with, ‘cause the way he moves and plays, in a way, is Castlevania.

Still, even when realizing this, there are some sections that feel a but too cruel, mostly caused by the cramped spaces or tight platforming, especially near the final stretch, and I’m also not that convinced by the bosses; they are memorable encounters for sure, but mainly ‘cause they are the most different thing compared to the rest of the game, they don’t feel particularly interesting, some are easily cheesed if you have a certain weapon or find a specific spot, and then there’s some like Dracula himself who just feels fucking terrible to fight against and he and even Death are the only things about the game I could say feel ‘’janky’’. Having said all this, I’ll say that I love Igor and Frankenstein (I don’t know if they are really called that but oh well), once I realized how they worked, it was easily the most fun boss to take down and the one that felt the most satisfying, loved those two so much.

Castlevania is flawed, but by its own merits, and not by a general statement that could be applied to many games. From beginning to end, even at the most infuriating of moments, I never stop seeing for what it was: an incredible game, fascinating in a ton of ways and interesting in so many others, it has reaffirmed things I already knew and even made me learn more, and I’ll be sure to take those same lessons when I play future experiences.

A simple quest that would lead to so, so many more, a short adventure that it goes beyond its simplicity, a true legend.

Go forth and onward, Simon Belmont

I really shouldn’t get Doom II

I really should be bothered, stressed, and highly frustrated by it.

It has some levels that should drive to pure rage, stuff that in any other context I should theoretically complain about.

And yet

I get it

I’ve spoken many times of the importance of Doom both as a space for community and player expression and the pivotal impact it had on the PC scene, and it still feel like I’ve only said understatements. A game that holds up so amazingly well decades later, with some of the most fascinating and fun levels ever put together, and with three episodes that each try to tackle not only different visuals and themes, but also each focuses on a completely different gameplay idea. All this to say that, yeah, I really like the funny killing demon game.

I think suffices to say that Doom II had some mad big shoes to fill, both now for new players like me and especially back then, and I gotta be completely serious here and say: I really didn’t think it could ever do it. Doom was and, in a way, still is an incredibly unique way so tightly designed, so puzzle-like like on its maze-like lay-outs, so calculated with how it decides when to throw curve-balls at you and pull-off novel enemy positioning; Episode 3,Inferno, felt like the final frontier in that regard, the ultimate exploration of the whack-ass and unexpected ideas you could pull off with Doom’s base, at least back then. And if ‘95’s E4 introduced in The Ultimate Doom is anything to go by, perhaps it’s a better idea to leave things as they are to not repeat a formula until it gets stale or expand it to extremes where it just breaks apart.

Thing is, Doom II didn’t even came out in 95, hell, it didn’t release after Ultimate Doom. 1994, more specifically September of 1994, not even a full year after the original’s release, so little time that with the tools at their disposal and without as much as a Q&A department, the team had to test the maps manually, something which they didn’t even could really do properly; so little time that basically the entirety of the original’s base was reused, which led to some funky stuff like only one new weapon being added and one of the newly introduced enemies clearly being a recolored Hell Baron; so little time that the mere idea of wanting to make even more maps that those of the previous release should have spelled absolute disaster. Because, how in the living fuck do you pull it together? How could you expect to produce something that doesn’t feel more that a cobbled together expansion with such a time constraint? How do you make more Doom?

Doom II’s answer to that question is straightforward: you don’t

This not to say the game doesn’t pick up from where it left off, both in that it continues just after the rather disturbing ending of the original, and that everything you can do is lifted straight up from that original adventure; the game’s gonna look at you funny if you play this as your first rodeo, ‘cause it’s not gonna pull any punches, but if you did play the original, the buckle up my friend, hell is loose and it has brought a surprise or two with it.

Things already feel different from the very start, even in the small room of Entryway and the cramped passage-ways of Underhalls, something clearly has changed; you face the same enemies, your arsenal is formed by the same arms you got to meet in your first go around, and yet, the design feels tighter, everything feels faster; you dart around enemies, evading zombies and demons at every turn, they surprise you in unexpected ways, it demands speed of you. The original Doom was never a slower game by any stretch of the imagination, but it was more patience focused, more strategy based, and many of the situations that it created revolved around waiting and taking you’re your best shot or calmly thinking where to go after grabbing a key. In Hell of Earth I can count with the fingers of only one of my hands the moments I let go of the run button, and I say this as the highest form of compliment possible.

And it only keeps going: the super shotgun finally gets introduced, a weapon so good that the only complain I have with it is that it kind of makes the original shotgun obsolete; a fantastic closed range powerhouse that it feels like the developers where whispering ‘’now you gotta go IN’’ as they hand it to you; you also get your arsenal at a much steady and faster pace that in Doom, which is surprising considering that this time the Episode format is completely ditched: the levels go after one another, and unless you die or decide to reset, pistol-starting is now an option rather an obligation, and even then, if you do decide to do it, you can potentially regain most of your weapons even before being half-way done with a level; I myself accidentally pistol-started at Barrels of fun and I’ve never been so glad about a miss click in my life, it was so incredibly fun and exciting and tense even more that it would have been otherwise. Doom II also feels far less stingy with its ammo, in the past you may have switch an arm into another because you just couldn’t use it anymore, now it’s more a matter of ‘’ok, how do I deal with this bunch of fuckers?’’; battles start through ambushes, traps or encounters, and you need to quickly analyze the situation if you want to get through alive in less than a second… and that’s more than enough. Doom II may be cheecky with its enemy placement, but its never unfair, it always gives you enough time to either take cover or to think about what’s the better tool for a certain enemy or group: the rocket launcher may be the best option to geal with that group of Imps, but that Chain-gunner can eat through health in a matter of seconds, why not use the super shot gun on him first and on tap him while you dart around the fire-balls? That’s only a taste of the type of situations of Doom II puts you through, combats that should feel stressful and frustrating, but instead feel exciting and in occasions made me feel an adrenaline like no other; I swear I audibly gasped when I say that amount of enemies at the Suburbs, and I smiled and celebrated as I emerged victorious after dealing with them in a way not even I thought I could.

Levels only get more creative and expansive as they go, The Crusher (aptly named after its main attraction) shows how the rest of the game will play around verticality to create more interesting battles and explorations, as well as introduce unconventional ideas that you might not have expected to see in the previous entry, and that changes your mindset in a way you may not notice at first, but that will certainly will make you be on the look-out. Things that once would have been secrets now are required to be found to progress, it asks of you to be creative, to think outside the box and do what you never would have even conceived of doing. In one of the levels I was trapped, not knowing what to do, but then I noticed a wall with a texture that was extremely different from the rest. I thought that ‘’There’s no fucking way’’. I shoot it. The path opens. Time at time again, places like The Citadelor The Spirit World expect you a level of attention and imagination that the game lends itself to receive, an imagination you have and use to beat even the most seemingly confusing puzzles and mazes; you’ll need to check the map, you’ll need to run, you’ll need to brave, it’s through that that game will reward you, maybe with a Megacharge, maybe with the BFG, maybe with a secret level, who knows! I certainly can’t say for sure ‘cause I feel like I’ve left a ton to even be discovered!

And yeah, I didn’t meant to not use the world ‘’paces’’, more than ever in any of the Doom Episodes, the Hell on Earth maps feel like real parts of a world: expansive and open world urban locations overrun by demons, cultist temples created to stop your advances, old bastions taken and repurposes by the legions of hell to fight against you; even the more ‘’gamey’’ of levels, like Tricks and Traps! or Gotcha!, are excusable because they so fun and even funny that I cannot be mad at them, and as for the rest, they really sell you the idea that you are traversing and meeting your objectives little by little; the narrative has as much presence as the original game, but it has a much greater impact ‘cause not only the stakes are even higher, it also feels like you are progressing through a real story, and that this is a true war against the enemies that face you, new and old.

The game also realized the full potential of its older cast, like how both the Cyberdemon and Spider-Mastermind act much better as level obstacles to evade than actual bosses, and the new faces that arrive are simply incredible; I’ve genuinely never loved and hated an enemy in a videogame equally as I do the Arch-vile, seeing him generated dread in my body, but also made me smile at the opportunity to face such an interesting and unique enemy. The Pain Elementals, Hell Knights an Revenants are all incredible new comer that pile up on the ‘’NEVER STOP MOVING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD’’ mentality, and they are all incredibly memorable, especially the Mancubi, I already loved them in the new games, but hearing them scream their own name as they shoot double projectiles was so fucking memorable. And that final boss.. GOD, finally a Doom boss that requires EVERYTHING you learnt; ammo management, dealing with individual threads, resource usage and even aim, such a fantastic send off that isn’t just a ‘’spam BFG to win fest’’, this is simply outstanding, so fun, so imperfect in the best way imaginable.

If Doom was already a passion project, then Doom II is that even more deranged, more reckless, more… itself. Sandy, Romero and the team knew they could do a true glory fest, and they went even beyond that. Doom II is so experimental, so unique, so unquestionably goofy that I can’t stop gushing about it. It’s more than a blast to beginning to end, it’s a challenge that wants to have as much as fun as you do playing it, and tries out new stuff at each turn, and even those times it doesn’t stick, it keeps being memorable in the best way imaginable.

It's OG Doom at its most savage, at its most free and wild, and its most fun and creative, and I for one have fallen in love with it, and now I can totally see why so many others did too, why so many others keep its memory and spirit alive through .wads and crazy ideas through this one moreso than any other. It’s a game in a way made for itself, but also for everyone that loves Doom, for everyone that loves shooters, for everyone that loves untamed creativeness.

What a fucking magnificent way to start the year, an experience that goes beyond the sum of its parts, and adventure that builds something that evolves and subverts what it once was, the opposite of Hell on Earth.

Rebuilding Earth ought to be a lot more fun than ruining it was

THE TRIAL OF DEEMON

The accused is charged with multiple crimes, such as leaving and detonating random weapon-shaped explosives in the middle of public spaces, defamation of Mr. Jimmy ‘’Jimmy T’’ Thang in a court of law, and latest of all, being the main suspect behind the Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog™. How does the defendant plead?

-… I believe that it’s in my best interest to speak with my lawyers first…

=================================================

So… if you’ve read any of my Sonic related reviews, you may have noticed that I share a strange relation with the blue mammal, and by strange I mean that despite claiming I’m familiar with the character and the series, before this year I had beaten like… 2 of his games. And hey, it’s not my fault that I happen to suck balls at the speedy simulators… well maybe it is but I digress; my point is that yeah, only now I am finally really getting into the Sonic franchise as a whole an learning more of its philosophy and design decisions, but much, MUCH before that, I became a fan more-so because of its world and characters… I’m gonna point to Sonic X as the main culprit for that because I have no fucking clue how I learnt of these guys personalities otherwise.

Still, it’s not like I was ever a big fan, even in my youngest years I probably would have said I was more of a Mario guy just after finishing eating crayons, but that didn’t change the fact that I actually quite enjoyed the personalities of Sonic’s cast; I really loved the main trio of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles, Robotnik is to this day one of my favorite videogame villains thanks to its personality and the fact its still a sort of meme among me and my friends, and Vector was always the coolest fucking guy to ever walk a 2D or 3D space so of course he would become my favorite character in the franchise. These and all of the Mobius inhabitants have an unequivocal charm that’s easy to like, even when the games and stories they tackle pull off some weird ass shit, you are bound to find at least one of the characters pretty charismatic. I myself tend to prefer when Sonic its at its more cartoony, its more goofy and laid-back, cause even then it manages to make some interesting narratives and seeing these Looney Toon motherfuckers interact and evolve even with its incredibly define quirks and traits it’s a joy (and you thought I was pedantic already, watch me when I pull my full blown analysis on Sonic’s narrative and characterization…)

The series knew how to be charming with its protagonist and it captivated me through that, but it wasn’t enough to grab me completely and convince me to sit through the games till their ending, and a big reason that I didn’t fall off completely from the franchise is in big part thanks to my girlfriend, who is much bigger fan of Sonic than I, despite having a kind of love-hate relationship with the series. But aside from the likes of Mania and Generations, I still reluctant to getting more into the games, of finally seeing more of Sonic and their buddies aside from random cinematics on youtube and clips from SatAM, but in the back of my mind, I was always secretly waiting for a perhaps more narrative focused Sonic game, one that kept the simplicity and goofiness that I love, but was more about the characters and interactions, something that finally gave the chance for this fellas to shine once again, to captivate me once again…

It's honestly fucking hilarious that the way they did it was by killing the son of a bitch.

=================================================
Mr.Deemon, you seem to be doing a mockery out of this court room, I’m gonna ask you once again to speak the truth and nothing by the truth, stop avoiding the question and telling us, did you Murder Sonic the Hedgehog™?

-Well first of all that feels like too direct and personal of a question, but I’ll say that that this all very funny to put the blame on me considering that porcupine’s obsession with dying; like, have you see him falling to his death time and time again? Have you seen his obsession with drowning clearly visible in its first game? Have you seen his reluctance to make a normal-ass jump like a basic platformer mascot? Have you tried controlling him through a fucking touch screen? Have you tried getting the fucKING CHAOS EMERALDS WITHOUT LOSING YOUR SANIITY?! I DID, AND YEAH, I ADMIDT IT, I KILLED THE BLUE BASTARD, THE POINTY MOTHERFUCKER WAS PRACTICALLY ASKING FOR IT, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I’D DO IT AGAIN, ‘CAUSE I LIKE IT, I-

=================================================

Funny thing is, I already saw everything this game and to offer back when I watched my girlfriend play it, but decided to hold on writing a review for it until I tried it for myself… let’s just say it took a while for that to happen.

Still, even after my replay and trying for myself the little active gameplay it has to offer, that first experience of seeing it it’s what I think of first when ponding about it, and I mean, obviously it was a ton of more fun, but even beyond that, I think that playing it that way, with someone else by your side, was by far the best way anyone could experience The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog .

To be surprised just as it released on Steam to the surprise of all and the excitement of many (my girlfriend one of them), to jump together into whatever this was about to be, to be enamored by the amazing drawn art-style, to laugh and enjoy at the actually pretty funny jokes, to give voices to each of the characters and trying that they somewhat fit but then failing miserably (something I seem to be an expert of when it comes to voice-acting) and just… enjoying this wonderful, out of nowhere surprise.

Looking at the dates, it’s clear that they wanted this to be some kind of free April fools spoof, but it’s so much, much more than that. The passion and effort put into is clear as day, it’s nothing crazy of course, but it didn’t have to be that, hell, it didn’t even have to exist in the first place, but it does! And I’m so glad it’s thing if only for that wonderful random heist scene, for the snarky-ass dialogue that got a chuckle out of me several times, for sharing that fun moment with someone else that enjoys these characters as much as I and even more, to feel that warmth of a cozy, cartoony adventure… and most of all to see Vector once againLET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO VECTOR THE GOAT BABY BUY TEAM CHAOTIX LET’S GOOOOOOOOO-

Sure, some jokes do not land, the overall murder mystery ends in a super strange and kind of confusing way, it really seemed like they were preparing for the goofiest ending imaginable, which in a way they did, but still, I feel like the way they handled the ending of the investigation felt a bit weird and kind of anticlimactic… and that’s about everything strictly negative I can say, really, it’s just super hard to be grumpy about this.

A small, clearly full of passion project that clearly knows what it wants to aspire to be; a gift to the fans, of people that enjoy this cast of cahracters, and beyond that, just a really fun time. It’s not amazing, it’s not exceptional, it’s far from perfect (I remember back when it released my girlfriend encountered some bugs which… I don’t know how you manage to create bugs in a VN but hey, its certainly on the spirit of the franchise), but it sure is… nice, it’s extremely nice.

Maybe it’s because I revisited it after finishing Sigil II, but it’s hard to not look at this as another gift to its respective community, one that tries to have small surprises, but at its core being a piece of what many wanted, something to enjoy as a whole, and seeing so many people and groups of friends coming together to play this alongside each other and make voice-overs and the such is a wonderful proof of that.

And it’s hard to, being here, finally reviewing this, not to look back on this year, to the memories mad, the wonderful experienced had, and how in a way, this game was one of the things that made me jump into the Sonic series as much as I did this year, and even with its lows and highs, I’m beyond welcomed for it, I’m so happened to have experienced all of this, and I’m not only referring to the Sonic games. Times passes and with it, the year ends, but I know that many more wonderful memories will be made next year, and I cannot wait to make more that surround Sonic and its games, ‘cause even when I seem to be getting mad or disliking it… I can never erase the smile from my face.

… and hey, maybe this change of heart and end of year realization will spare me from court… right?


=================================================

With what I can only refer to as resounding evidence, I close the trial of Deemon v Literally Everyone Else In The Planet by declaring the accused guilty of all charges, his sentence is to be punished by not having roasted chicken in New Year’s Eve


-… FUCK.

=================================================

Happy New Year, everyone!

As someone completely unaware of the broader DOOM scene and that really believed that Sigil was the last Doom related thing I’d play before jumping to the other games in the series, you should have seen my face when I entered the site and saw Sigil II on the Coming Soon section (yes, that really was how I learnt this was a thing). And you know what that means! More DOOM baby! DOOM forever and ever!!! There’s even more to play and I’m bound to play it for eternity! This is my life now!-dear god…

To play part of a 30 year-old legacy in the span of 3months was something I certainly wasn’t expecting; 30 years of a game that change everything and beyond, 30 years of DOOM. I don’t want to come across or present myself as someone that knows more that I really do; playing the original game, as well as some official and ‘’official’’ expansions, doesn’t change the fact that I’m incredibly new to the incredibly road that is the encompassing story of DOOM, not only I’ve arrived incredibly late to the party, I also have yet to come close to experimenting a fraction of what other players had played through thanks to this amazing experience.

Still, I know of Doom’s history, I know what it means to so many people and even myself, I know of the impact it had, I know of its creators and of its legacy, one that still breathes to this very day; I’ve went through all of that in all of my past reviews that revolve this not-so-little shooter, and now… I am here. It’s kind of fucking crazy and unexpected to not only not being late to something OG Doom related, but also to be practically in the moment; playing it so close after it came out, and finishing it not-so-long after. The reason why this is almost as big of a deal as the original Sigil is obvious, not only is the final chapter that Romero will make for DOOM, it’s also a more than perfect gift, something to commemorate these 30 years, to celebrate this legacy… but also, something to simply enjoy right here, right now. There will be more Doom in the foreseeable future thanks to the many people who love this game, Sigil II doesn’t really signal the end of an era, rather it’s the perfect showing of how far we’ve come, and how there’s much to be had in the future, and I’ll certainly have my share of Doom after this.

So for now, as many still celebrate and reminisce, I for the first time, am able to enjoy it as it is happening, to talk about it so soon after it released, to give my personal verdict once again, and what I have to say may shock all of you…………….



Yeah extra episode good.

If I summarized the original Sigil as ‘’more Doom’’, then the best way to call Sigil II would be, quite literally, ‘’more Sigil’’. Where Sigil took the original DOOM basis and introduced a ton of spins and surprises and created some unexpected and fascinating lay-outs, Sigil II takes the spins and surprises of its predecessor and says ‘’Sure, fuck it’’ and proceeds to expand in every single aspect imaginable; higher difficulty (even at Hurt me Plenty), more crazy lay-outs, more insane encounters, more rewarding secrets; Sigil II takes into account that you’ve already beaten its previous iteration and it isn’t scared to give you a full arsenal even faster than Sigil did, and if that was already quite the challenge at times, then this is like being thrown the eight circle of hell, Dante and Virgil haven’t seen shit, this were the true pain is at.

Of course all of this sounds good, but it also means that many of the surprises that Sigil carried as a stand alone experience are basically non-existent here; every episode of DOOM felt as if was trying something new, taking a different approach on the ways you can design a series of levels, and Sigil followed suit and felt extremely unique compared to its older episodes while standing tall along side them. I didn’t exaggerate when I said that Sigil II is, quite literally, more Sigil, it truly acts as a sequel to Romero’s first expansion, but at the same time it doesn’t feel like it has enough of a personality to stand on its own merits, at least not as a completely unique episode; it’s not quite ‘’more of the same’’, but it also doesn’t offer anything new or doesn’t put enough of a twist of what was already there to be striking, and most of the maps just don’t feel as special or memorable as they once were, some have extremely cool challenges, like M8’s final boss fight or M5’s claustrophobic encounters with death, but I find difficult to remember that many moments compared to the previous expansion or even base DOOM.

Now, I know all this sounds like I’m saying that Sigil II is lesser than its predecessor, and, in that aspect, it kinda is, but you know, after so much DOOM, for once I can take a less strong identity in favor of… well, everything else. The few moments that I could call frustrating in the original expansion have been eliminated, Sigil II is once again harder than what it came before, but also polished, to the point that most confusing or frustrating stuff is nothing more than a distant memory. There are some parts that in theory should seem poorly executed and even mean, but they are instead fun as hell to overcome, like Romero is pulling pranks and making sure it’s still fun at the same time, and it works REALLY well. The maps are al so freacking fun, demanding sure, and don’t have as much of a personality or aren’t as memorable as previous stuff, and I could even complain about some of them perhaps being a bit too long, but that’s somewhat forgiven when it all is just so tightly designed, so fun to experiment around and try to overcome whatever comes your way. And then there’s M7, which is so good I can’t still quite believe it; every complain I could possibly have is just not present on there, it’s so fun, so tense, so cathartic to traverse its tribulations and mazes and reaching the end, it’s the precise culmination of what both Sigils where striving for, and it alone made me love Sigil II even more, it’s so fucking enjoyable.

Sigil II is fun, it’s still amazing, it’s DOOM in all of its glory. I wished it pushed a bit further, that it tried more new stuff, but for what its worth, some of the maps here are the culmination of everything that Romero was pursuing with its level design, the culmination of one of the possibilities that DOOM can offer, it’s a great expansion and an even better gift, and I’m so glad that I can say I’ve beaten it.
For now, and finally, I’m done with the OG DOOM, but as I said, my journey is not over, nor is everyone else’s; Romero has already confirmed that he’s working on an expansion for Doom II, but before I can even consider waiting for it, I need to finish with Hell on Earth myself first.

Long may live this fantastic game.

And happy 30th anniversary!

Talking about what Destiny was meant to be back then seems mandatory when speaking of the game itself, and how couldn’t be? This was Bungie’s new baby, THE Bungie that created one of the most prolific shooters in all of videogame history, jumping onto not only a brand new IP, but what was meant to be the ambassador of the ‘’next-gen’’, a console exclusive (in the most literal sense of the word to this very day) that supposedly would redefine a new kin of MMO, a more welcoming, smaller scale one, but that also kept all the spectacle and fun of the sci-fi shooter genre. It didn’t matter what TV channel you were watching; you were bound to see AT LEAST one ad with Destiny as its main focus, the marketing bills must have been off the fucking charts for that one, it was insane. Talking about all this and what would happen after is, under any eyes, the only sensical approach, something so intrinsically related with the final product, whenever it wants it or not, that you can’t look the other way; the story practically writes itself.

Today I have a different story.

Back during the 2000’s and early 2010’s, my father liked videogames, and by that I mean he REALLY was into gaming. At first he never really had much of a interest for them aside from trying out some arcades back when they still were a thing in my hometown and playing on his friends’ personal computers and Ataris from time to time when he was a kid, at least from what he told me; by the time 90’s rolled around he believed that was a train he wasn’t meant to catch, a possible pastime too young for him, something that not worth getting into. Over a decade later, he would clearly change his mind, and tho that interest would be lost in 2016, during those years his appreciation for the medium wouldn’t be something that he’d speak of, but it was clearly visible to me. With what was back then the best gaming laptop you could get (back before the age of the LEDs) my father would discover his love for Shooters, both of the first and the third person variety, sandboxes, and even simulation and strategy like Age of Empires. He liked those types of games and every time a new big release would come around, he knew what he’d do when he had spare time and my mother had to go to work, and he gained even more interest in other aspects of the medium little by little; he even began to toy with emulators at some point! Me, on the other hand… I was what you would call, a Wii-lad.

By that I do not mean I was a Wii user only (tho for a long while I was), rather that I was rather closed to what some refer to as some ‘’hardcore’’ experiences, and tho I highly dislike that term along with ‘’casual’’, it is true that during the early 10’s I was anything but a shooter enjoyer. I was a fan of platformers and more simpler experiences, something that still holds up today, but that was especially true back then, to the point it was pretty much everything I played and enjoyed playing. There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that, even if I prefer to be more open to every possible style of game as I am now far more, but the fact of the matter is, as you may have been able to point out, is that there wasn’t much overlap between my father’s tastes and mine. We both enjoyed the medium, but struggled to actually connect through it; that isn’t to say we didn’t try and that we didn’t had wonderful experiences, the memories of he playing Super Smash Bros Brawl with me and me watching him play Far Cry 3 and even sometimes helping him beat parts he just couldn’t are one I cherish to this day, and while those moments were cool as hell and wonderful, they were clearly moments in which neither of the two were fully comfortable with adventuring outside our own gaming comfort zone; there was still that clear lack of a middle ground, something that caught both our interests, something that we both could truly enjoy and talk about, something that really didn’t seem to be happening any time soon.

…and then Destiny was announced.

To my father, it looked simply astonishing, a visual sci-fi spectacle that seemed tailor-made for him; his favorite genre in all mediums brought to life in a way that was a sight to behold, a cosmos worth traversing and shooting through. To me, it looked like the coolest fucking thing I had ever seen, a space odyssey made videogame that promised adventures galore; I myself was also very much into sci-fi, and maybe that was what made Destiny tickle my ‘’only platformer guy’’ bone and made it crumble, this was not the first time a game presented me with worlds I desired to explore, but it was the first time I saw it to this scale and promise. This became the thing we would talk about every time videogames would become the main topic, we jumped onto that hype train and didn’t let it go for dear life; we knew everything that was coming out about and all news, but not much beyond that, we didn’t really knew who Bungie was, or what some of its promises and buzzwords like ‘’MMO’’ could really entail or not be, but it didn’t matter. Every image, every trailer, we were there watching it and talking about it, it became less of a game and it turned into something more, an experience to share even before it was for us to play. And then, during that year’s Christmas season, tho I cannot recall the exactly, my father came back home with a copy of the game; a present for me as much as it was for him. I still remember waiting together for everything to install, a process that took like half a day thanks to Destiny’s sheer size for the console and the shitty wi-fi we had back then, and it almost completely killed the mood of child-like excitement we both had… almost.

The moment that bar filled completely, we sat down, I took the controller, and what followed was… the cutscene that made everything kickstart, the character creator through which we made a space wizard alien destined to safe the entire solar system, those quite jingles that lead to that angelical soundly chorus that rose as the menu showed that mysterious whiter orb at the center of all, even higher than earth, and as we begun our adventure through the desolate wasteland of what once was Earth, being alive when we really shouldn’t have and fought against dangers that should have beaten us into a pulp, is nothing short of… magical, something that no game had made me felt ever, something that I couldn’t find the words to even begin describing, something neither of us could stop looking at in sheer awe. For but a moment, Destiny transcended even further, became something I could have never anticipated, something that back then I could only call… perfect…

What follows is a collection of thoughts of everything I dislike about Destiny:

The faults of Destiny, are so apparent that I’m surprised the disc didn’t crumble as soon as I touched it, some things now so utterly obvious it’s kind of adorable. Destiny is eternally confused, something that by definition works, but tries to bite so much it’s not that it can’t chew it, it’s that it can’t even bring itself to close its mouth. Its promises of a ‘’Small-scale MMO’’ don’t go much further than the main hub and the one or two other folks you can come across during the missions: if you aren’t planning on playing it alongside one or two friends directly, then what you’ll get is an experience that encourages meaningful player interaction so little that most won’t even bother making the slightest interaction during the levels themselves; most didn’t even bother engaging with PvP ‘cause… why bother? Not much is truly gained through direct conflict, and even tho random jolly co-operation can happen and it can be pretty fun, even at release most of the time what would you encounter would be players much stronger than you repeating past missions to farm exp and loot, and by proxy rendering the mission you were about to play pretty much to a cinematic with a bit more interaction. There are clears attempts at creating a more in-depth space for interaction for a console only environment, but it doesn’t stick the landing at all; the main central area is nothing more than a very empty street market 90% of the time, and again, this is an environment in which the bulk of players won’t bother to connect a mic, something that in an online matchmaking mode can completely fly and doesn’t even affect the experience, but for a supposedly far more open and interaction dependent shooter like this, it makes night and day. It all feels half-cooked, and the reason is obvious; Destiny also needs to work as a single player experience, something just one random fella on its own can fully beat, and the results of mixing both design philosophies are less than desirable.

Bungie was clearly aiming for the stars, to accomplish something different from what they did the last 5 times, yet they seemed too scared of getting inside the rocket; Destiny’s own foundations is highly inspired by Halo, which is a prospect that in paper sounds great until you realize this isn’t the basis of that series expanded to completely new horizons, but rather it directly clashing with the new elements and promises, resulting in this weird amalgam that compromises both visions. There are no grand encounters or missions; with the exception of the first and final one for each of the levels, all tasks can be summarized by ‘’go to x place and kill this thing/scan this this thing, repeat x number of times’’ with no great surprises in between; the down-time is always the same, the enemies you can face are always designated by the planet you are on, and every single encounter with enemies is an arena style fight divided into ordes each and every time, which it’s definitely the easiest way to design levels in which three players have something to shoot, but not the best way to design actual interesting challenges for neither of them, much less for only one. The game cannot even create challenges that interesting despite having an admittedly non-stop-moving basis to work from; the act of shooting and using abilities IS fun, not gratifiying once you realize you have to do it again and again, and so, because the arenas where the fight happens are never really that varied, the only way the game can generate difficulty is by throwing bullet-spongy bosses and high level enemies… notice how I didn’t use the word ‘’engaging’’ there. It’s just more mindless blasting, and again, there’s room for coordinated strategies if you have a buddy or two to play with, but that simply is not a real possibility when you are alone or random strangers, and so, it'll come a point when you’ll get stuck at a certain mission, and inadvertently, the game encourages you to repeat past missions to slowly level up, which encourages farming, which then encourages looting, which then encourages selling, which then encourages buying, and that encourages the entire process to play out once again with some pointless visits to the Cryptarch thrown in there from time to time (seriously, why would you be able to buy him encrypted weapons for only to decrypt them right after? That’s just gambling with extra steps). I’ll give the game this: it’s not a fun process, like, at all, but it is a marginally engaging one.

Bungie’s reluctance to abandon the old ways are also present in the way the wastelands where the missions take place and everything in them are designed; the four main areas are essentially mini-sandboxes, small open levels with certain parts restricted to certain missions, but that are completely free to explore otherwise, and hold some random encounters and fights across the map. I… like them, these zone really feel like desolate places, divided in cut and clear zones taken by different factions and commanders, areas that hold quite the amount of secrets and are super fun to go through with the speeder. Sometimes the optional combats in the open areas are even more fun than the ones found in main missions simply because they feel like they take place in an actual location and not just in an abandoned warehouse or ancient ruin, I genuinely don’t have much complains with how these are designed. My problem, instead, comes in how… static they all feel. Everything I mentioned is forever the same; batallions of enemy will be right there were they once stood after returning to the planet, the Vex and Cabal will be fighting in the exact same places locked in that neverending shoot-out, nothing will change with new descents or missions, it’s as if time loops every time you come back to the main-land. This wouldn’t be a problem if you visited these places once, but you don’t, you traverse them MANY times, and I’m convinced that they would have implemented changes here and there after certain missions… if it weren’t because, once again, this is a mini-MMO, and the one of the three players could have been on Mars a thousand times while other could be arriving on the first time; the game simply cannot craft variation in a way it doesn’t fuck up with the experience, but by also doing nothing, it can’t avoid shooting itself on the foot.

Not even the narrative is safe from Destiny’s eternal confusion; I’m not gonna act like I’m a seasoned MMO player because I’m simply not, but even as mostly a bystander, I can understand why many of those games stories revolve around the world itself or some major characters. You simply cannot make each and every player the main character, and so, you make them a part of the world, be it dividing it by factions or anything else, all of your player base is the protagonist, and even if they are not the real major players of the story, they serve a humongous part on it, they feel seen and like they can actually make a difference. Then here over Guardian-land ft. Nolan North (Peter Dinklage was sent to an undisclosed location), you do actually play a major part as the main character! You appear in the cutscenes, you talk with leaders and kingship, you are the hero… but you are also just a hero. It’s like the game really wanted to put players at the forefront, but then it said ‘’oh shit wait, hold on a second’’ and realized that wasn’t going to cut it if they wanted to make players feel like this is an actual expansive universe, so your guy is just… there, present in the cutscenes, yeah, but with everyone else doing the major talking and exposition; there’s a ton lore and exposition, but there’s not much actual story. There’s a conflict, yeah, dark bad light good and all of that, Ghost and the other fellas aren’t shy on telling you why you need to go ‘’pew-pew’’ around the solar system, but there’s not actually much happening: no real character moments, no real feeling of advancement, you just party along and see what’s up, and at the end after killing the big bad you get a cool weapon that’s probably useless from a character that appears randomly like 4 times and… roll credits! It’s obvious that DLCs and expansions were always a own with this, but as it is, the thing that came in the disc back in 2014, it feels unfinished, rushed, and like it doesn’t really know what to do with its storyline aside of having you at the side so you can see the cool character you made alongside a bunch of people I don’t even remember the names of. The game is in this constant tug of war with itself, this conflict that loops forever, and one that had never a clear answer for. It’s a fun enough shooter with so many issues and half-baked stuff I fell I’ve left a ton yet to speak of, one that doesn’t even scrap that level of greatness it promised, one that is barely a shadow of what the studio probably wanted it to be…

Now, I’ve been the one telling you all of this, the me of 2023, the me 9 years after the game originally released, talking about the problems now I see with this game, as I were to play it for the first time now… but that’s not what happened… and my me of 2014 and my father had a whole other version to tell.

To be right there, not at they it launched or during the first months after the game’s release, but just there, sitting down in the couch, with the controller in my hands, and letting myself be completely immersed in these lost passages of a dying cosmos, seeing this larger than life of a decaying empire wither again only bathed by the light of stars or the last rays of sun after another day without hope, to explore them as I made my way through war and darkness with my father sitting by my side, also completely submerged in the game and handing him the controller in a part I just couldn’t beat or when he just wanted to explore somewhere, that is something I still cannot find the words for.

To adventure in the chasms of the moon and fight against the restless legions of the Hive as they charge using all the might I can muster, exploring the green yet lifeless overtaken jungle of Venus, facing monsters beyond what I could even call ‘’alien’’ and discovering what secrets lied beyond the rift and the oldest imaginable truth encrypted in the twisted form of the Vex. To explore a no man’s land only to find another random fellow guardian, to par against each other, or to, despite no words being able to be spoken, to communicate through each other with dances and gestures, only to go back to the Tower and encounter bigger groups of players, and interact with any tools available, to trade, to explore, to just have fun. To find constant tangible rewards that make you feel as if every small victory, every mission beaten, every level up, everything amounts to something, something worth of rewarding, and something that makes you feel stronger. To create your own adventures, to play alongside friends and help each other find things the other may have never heard about, and lose yourself in the exploration and the thrill of the fight.

To talk with my father about it, about how immensely unbelievable it all is, how incredibly amazing it is to reach a new planet every single time, to theory about what’s truly behind this story, and to see who can go without dying the longest.

And to be right there, at the door of another reality, facing off against the warlords of time and metal, to be unable to defeat the impossible alone, and for my father to pick up the controller and managing to defeat it, both celebrating it was done, we had beaten this grand, seemingly never-ending adventure, that is something I think I’ll never find the words to properly describe.

Destiny, in its earliest of days and for a specific type of player, is everything that a true videogame should be; a chance to explore the unknown and discover what so many couldn’t, and do venture alongside friends, fight alongside friends, fight against friends, perhaps even meet new friends, those are tales that the people that grew up with Destiny aren’t shy of speaking about. The moments I played with friends were few and far between back then, but for me, Destiny was always the game for me and my father to play, a game that managed to be everything that we could have ever dreamt of and beyond, a true consistent experience that gave us so many memorable moments it was truly hard to just stop playing after we have done so much, after we had been through so many space voyages. Destiny was a place for fight, but it also was a place for peace, to seeing the limits of the small little worlds; it may have never been everything that it promised, but it certainly felt like it.

Destiny, as a game, may be nothing more than an unremarkable experience.

…but its memories are irreplaceable.

Form 2016 onwards, my father’s love for the medium started to fade, while mine kept on going and my interest went even further beyond, and I can’t say for sure I would have given a try to other games so relatively soon, such as the likes of Doom (2016), if it wasn’t for it. And even after he stopped playing altogether my father still kept a huge appreciation for videogames, and he was more than happy tho help me expand my horizons: teaching me the ropes of certain series and genres, giving a chance to some fighting games to play them along side me, or details such as gifting Maio Odyssey the day it released, one before my birthday. The things he taught me, even the ones related to gaming, are still ones I’ve never forgotten, and through each and every point during out Destiny playthrough, the laughs, the conversations, the pure joy in the act of sharing a moment to play a game together, those are ones I won’t forget. Ones I never want to forget.

Soon, it’ll be 2 years since he passed away. Even now, saying and writing that feels surreal, like a nightmare that shouldn’t even be happening. But it did. With each day that follows, it doesn’t get easier. For a while I thought it never could. Some memories were even locked, remembrances that my brain decided to hide as to not hurt me, as maybe an attempt to try and make it easier. The memories of Destiny were among them, for a while I couldn’t even recall anything about the game, it just all felt too close, too real, a place forever gone, and knowing what that implied would just break me apart. But now I do know that to do that is nothing short of foolish, it might not get easy, but with each passing moment, with each day, I accept it, little by little, and I grab onto those memories. Memories worth cherishing. Memories worth celebrating. Memories that I’ll keep alive for as long I’m able to. I never want to forget Destiny, not only because it feels as if I’d forget a part of him, but also because those memories warm me, they make me happy, and I’m glad to still have them within me.

Tomorrow is Christmas day. It also would have been his birthday.

He always said he didn’t like Christmas much because it was also a reminder of how old he was getting. And I just wish he could have gotten older, that he could have seen more….

It’s during these days that those memories, and among them… memories of playing Destiny together, memories of celebrating together.

I wish I had a more concrete answer for what I’m trying to express, a true finality, but no amount of words could truly define it, and I guess there’s never really one to begin with, for worse… but also for better. I’ll move forward and I already do, not only for him, but for myself, I’ll carry those memories within me forever, as I form new ones. To everyone that has experienced loss, hold on tight to those memories, remember them with joy, ‘cause they are worth, and as you do it, keep on going. Not only for them. But for yourself.

Memories worth shedding a tear for.

Memories worth smiling for.

Stay safe and strong, everyone.

Happy holidays!

…and happy birthday, Dad.

I think that going completely nuts after spending 20 minutes in a virtual alien planet, losing my shit laughing after seeing my friends die because they stepped on a random mine and screaming at the top of my lungs when encountering the thorn man for the first time has taught me more about myself than any psychologist ever could.

I’ve played a ton of games that are fun with friends, games that were a good distraction for a couple of minutes and from which we had a good laugh or two; few of them I could call good and even fewer I could bother remembering. Of course I cherish and even still play the likes of Duck Game or Ultimate Chicken Horse, but most other multiplayer focused games that I played are, too put it light it, unremarkable; they know the fact they are 2 player or more only can carry them as an experience, so they entirely rely on that fact and forget to add something more potentially meaningful; they are fun for the duration of a discord-call, but not much else. The games manage to truly stick are something that truly commit, whether is by doing an extremely simple yet effective experience that takes advantage of its multiplayer status to make something REALLY fun and enjoyable, or by putting some meat on its bones and creating a more complex, deeper gameplay loop that manages to stand on its own two feet while working as a 2 or more player experience. Lethal Company is a bit of an oddity, because despite being an early access, and despite not fully fitting in neither of those two categories, it manages to be better than practically all the examples I could give.

It’s a fairly simple loop: start, choose a moon, descend, explore, get materials, try to not perish during the turmoil and fight against the horrors that your own company which you are working for is putting you through, get out (step that may or be not be accomplished), repeat; I would make joke about how this is basically the average real-life current work routine, but I’m afraid it writes itself.

This pattern plays out in every 3 day loop, but whatever will happen in each of the days never feels the same; maybe you’ll get lucky and encounter a ton of items just after entering the facility and get out before the night falls, maybe one of you will stay in the cameras guiding the rest and helping them stay out of danger, or maybe you’ll face moments that rival a fucking horror film, like descending to a lower level and seeing a nightmarish creature run across the hallways in front of you; maybe hearing a sound, being told by your friend it’s only your imagination, only to turn back once again and watching as a shadow monster runs towards you at full speed; or maybe watching your companions being followed by unspeakable creatures through the cameras as they shout through the walkie-talkies, moments that make you feel like you are facing cosmic horrors so far beyond your capabilities, but still tangible and real, and your options are either facing them, or to embrace the coldness of space at the hands of your corporate overlords just because you didn’t hit a number, it doesn’t matter the way you look, you’ll only see danger… but it’s also really funny to see your friends panic as you close the door on them and dancing after seeing them being mauled by a giant moth that only became violent because they hit it with a shovel.

Perhaps there’s a statement to be made about how we as humans treat unclenching horrors as all in a day’s work… I just think this is really funny. Lethal Company strikes that perfect balance of creating a perfect terrifying ambience and actual in-depth mechanics as much as it tickles the funny bone: it knows it’s a horror game, but it also knows it’s silly as hell. You COULD spend your hard-earned money on better equipment that will help you during extractions, but wouldn’t be real funny to buy a TV that only displays propaganda or a fish and call it ‘’Suppository’’? You heard of fight or flight? Well, here at Lethal Company we have a variation called ‘’fight or flight or laugh’’, and you’ll be doing the latter at lot even when you realistically shouldn’t, and the former stops being a feasible solution when you realize that your best possible weapon is a shovel.

I say that, but you will have to face things no sane person would want to, be it running as fast as your legs allow you or fighting it head on to save your life or a friend’s. Fun thing is, each and every single creature you come across will prompt a different response; some are slow but unkillable, others are actually peaceful when unprovoked but will steal everything you come across, others are stationary and won’t attack unless you go too close to them or are detected through other means, and others are just nightmare fuel. The ’’Thorn man’’ (I know he has a real official name, but I think it’s fun to give these little hell spawns your own names, me and my friends called the big moth Antonio) is easily one of the scariest thing I’ve come across in any game, easily my favorite creature in all the game and one you NEED to play around and KNOWS how to make you scared, and he’s only one out of the many that are in the roster, don’t get me even started on the one that crawls around that the speed of fucking sound, me and my friends decided to call that one ‘’AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-‘’, it comes right out the tongue when seeing it.

You always need to play around all these bastards, even when you don’t know which ones are inside with you. You have to know what items are a priority, when to get out and when to stay, that rooms are safer and easy to maneuver in, and when to get out before even more dangerous creatures start to roam the outside, or when the weather starts becoming a true danger. So far there’s not much variation in the installations themselves, but I don’t see it as a problem; not only it sells you better the idea of a monopolized, dire universe, it also makes traversing them get a bit comfortable each time, but they never stop feeling oppressive, since they are always rearranging every time you land, and pitch black rooms and steam leaks are never not horrifying. I’m sure that this as the time goes by, more variety will be added, so maybe this seems like an odd think to praise, since of course if there was more types of rooms and structures it wouldn’t be a problem, but it’s one of those things that, as it is right now, it doesn’t bother me at all.

In fact… there isn’t much that bothers me in general; the sheer amount of fun, of satisfaction after managing to survive together or meeting the quota by the skin of your teeth, and the sheer laugh at either the hilarity of this madness is soul-healing. It’s more than a fun time; it’s a true experience that feels complete, with a ton to offer and amazingly designed, both for shits and giggles and for shits and screams.

I just really wish I could have recorded some of those plays; I’m sure more will happen in future playthroughs, but there were so many damn good and unbelievable moments that feel straight out of a B horror movie or a fucking sitcom… luckily, one of my friends managed to have one of his buddies record a moment in another run; I wasn’t present for this one, but this is the type of moment that’s worth seeing and summarized the entire game in seconds, enjoy…

It's the most wonderful time of the year!~

It's apparent that Toree has become Siactro's favorite golden goose, the poster child of their PSX/N64 inspired catalogue, at least visually. I do not say this with any ill intent; if the jump in quality of Toree 3D to Toree 2 is anything to go by, the team is clearly dedicated to polish and experiment with the basic premises of the ''low-polygon mascot platformer'' has. Still, it's clear that they see this yellow chicken as their mascot, and again, I'm not complaining in the slightest, I love Toree as much as any other sane human would, but even with all that said, too much of anything is at risk of becoming tiring.

I mean, both of the original Torees came out the same year, and even tho Toree Saturn seems to be taking more to be made, in the meantime Siactro has been sure there's no shortage of this speedy motherducker, releasing more bite-sized demos and levels. I decided to play Jolly Jam ‘cause hey, what the hell? Is a small experience made for SAGE completely free and that fits the holiday, and I knew it would be fun, but after so much of the character, and specially after the amazing surprise that was Toree 2, I went in expecting a fun little time and very little else… I should stop expecting only that when it comes to Toree because don’t I look fucking stupid now…

The level itself it’s just neat, it fits the aesthetic perfectly and follows what the extra levels in Toree 2 did visually, and it’s a joy to blsdt through and beat (the only level in all Toree games I’ve gotten a S simply because how simple and inviting it is to go fast), but that’s pretty much everything there is when it comes to level design; some cool designs and a fun lay-outs… and then there’s everything else. Toree is not only sporting an extremely cool hat and scarf, but also new tools to reach even higher speeds, like a slam mid jump that cancels all momentum but makes you go fast instantly, or a homing attack and boost-`pads reminiscent of a very familiar blue mammal. These alone are fantastic additions, I genuinely hope we can see these in the next full game because they are nothing short of amazing and complement the level super well, I wasn’t expecting to see changes like this at all, but I for one am super happy to see them.

But the demo doesn’t limit itself to these mechanical showings, and it also decides to go completely nuts with the extra ‘’gifts’’. Not only do we have some amazing cosmetics that feel like the perfect evolution of the unlockable characters and the level costumes from previous games, not only do we have a sound gallery with the incredible tunes INCLUDING previews for the next game, we have a small rpg-like sprite game with no combat, a 2.5D platformer, and even a sub-game that references that Christmas demo of Night in dreams, terrible depth perception and all! There’s so much to see and quite a few stuff to do for what’s essentially a small free celebration for the season, and it’s fun, it’s heartwarming, it’s Toree doing it yet again.

Once again, I’m left totally positively surprised by something I didn’t think much before playing, it’s an exceptional jolly time that, for what it is, I really don’t think I could have asked more of it. Thank god Toree isn’t a sniper, ‘cause this chicken never misses…

embark

chit chat

My experience with Dating Sims of the joke or parody variety is as extensive as my knowledge of social interaction, which it's to say none at all safe from one or two random facts; in fact I'd go as far as to say that I have never even seen a ''real'' Dating-Sim to begin with.

''Oh wow''

But even then, I've just been looking from afar, not really interested on the act of actually playing any of them, the closes I've ever gotten to touching any of them being that random section in Later, Alligator. I honestly couldn't tell you why, I don't really have anything against them, especially those that as I mentioned before took a more comedic approach, it just... never really called to me.

''You talk a lot''

The Ratchelor was seemingly yet another perfect example of what I said before, a funny looking game that I would only interact with through random reviews on the site and an appearance on a video I saw a while back, but with it being completely free and being super short, it seemed like fine enough really short pastime to clear my head during the last week of uni and have a seemingly funny time, and you know, it's not every day you'd get the chance to date a VeryRealRat so I didn't want to pass the chance,

''Yikes''

It's an absurdly simplistic little game where you get to choose some rodents to date and have three possible answers in each interaction (in that way it kinda reminded me of My Dinner with André funnily enough) and it's pretty much just that, and it's all it ever needed to be. Maybe it's my tired-ass brain speaking in auto-pilot mode and I'm simply delusional but I... enjoyed this a ton! Each rat is charming as all hell despite you having only 5 maximum interactions with each, I adored all the little goobers so much so I played enough times to interact at least once with each of them. Your limited answers prompts a different reaction for each of the contestants, and in a way it's kind of deceptive with its seemingly squalid presentation; there's a quite a ton of work put into this, this is no simple joke game, it's an actual competent and funny one!

''Don't look at me like that''

In the span of like ten minutes I smiled at each and every line, it's just so well-spirited and enjoyable to the point of being super surprising. I actually was playing a joke Dating-Sim AND having a great time with it?

''I can't imagine what that's like''

I'm not head over heels with it nor would I call it a ''super fantastic hidden gem'', but it is... nice, like a small unexpected gift. In theory it's nothing more than a little novelty, but in practice is a wonderful distraction that left me wishing for more absurd and funny lines of dialogue. This hasn't convinced me to play more of the genre necessarily, but it's a damn good first playable impression I think. This was just sweet.

Also EggSalad and Hiberdean are the best characters in this and that's simply a FACT.

''Yuck''